All language subtitles for 1. O Objetivo da abertura_en

As we start off with opening,
I want to make a very

critical point to you,
which is the purpose of opening

is very simple.

It's to get a
conversation started.

That's it.

If anything beyond
that happens off the opener,

that's great.

If you happen to open
and establish a premise,

great.

If you open and you get some attraction,
absolutely wonderful.

That's all great.

However, your metric,
the bar for your open should

be set nice and low.

Reason being,

There are basically
two points in an interaction

where you have to be
a little needy in a cold

approach scenario.

One is the open and two
potentially is the close,

right?

Because those are the
two places where you actually

need a particular result.

The whole rest of the interaction,
you're in a conversation,

things are flowing
naturally and you can be high value,

cool and use just like
general good socialization,

good flirting, good
communication and establishing value.

But opening, you are
actually fundamentally

interrupting people a little
bit and you are actually

fundamentally asking
for something, i.e., just

attention and time at least,
from someone who's

fundamentally
a stranger.

So the point of opening
is to get into a conversation

and be past the opener
as soon as possible and into

a normal interaction.

You should trust
yourself that once you're in that

normal interaction,
things can really go your way.

So the point is just to get
the conversation started.

This also should help
you out a lot with approach

anxiety if you happen to have
some approach anxiety.

Because a lot of guys, the reason
they don't want to approach

is they think they have
to have the perfect opener.

You don't, okay?

All you have to do to
have had a good opener is to

be in a conversation.

So if you say hi and she says,
hey, what's up, back.

you're done.

You've had a
good opener.

From there, you're into
the next stages of game.

You're into flirting,
establishing a premise, et cetera,

et cetera.

As long as you get a response,
as long as she

engages with you, you've
achieved what you need to.

The other
thing with this is,

I would prefer to get
that response and get her

attention rather than to necessarily
make it smooth.

So a lot of guys, they're so concerned
with not offending

or being smooth on the
open that they go very

overly light
and overly casual.

Like, hey,
excuse me.

And the girl
doesn't even know.

Sorry, was there
a wind?

Was there a breeze
near me that made a sound?

Or the guy taps the girl
on the shoulder so lightly it's

like a butterfly
landed there.

You need
to be noticed.

I would actually rather
the girl be a little startled,

not a lot startled, but between
her being a little

startled and her not
knowing you opened, I would

prefer for her to
be a little startled.

Because if you open weak
and it seems like you didn't

commit to the open, seems
like you didn't believe in your open,

and then you have to open
again later, that's going

to be very, very,
very problematic for you.

And that's going to make
you look incredibly low value.

So remember, there are two
stages in game where

you're going to have
to be a little bit try-hard.

The open is one,
the close is the other.

And so you want to, in
both those phases, make sure

that things are handled as smoothly
as possible and you

just kind of get it done as under
the radar as possible.

So with opening, the whole
thing is starting interaction.

You're not trying
to do too much with it.

Trust yourself that once
you're in a conversation,

you have the social skills,
you have the game, you have

the game plan, which
we're going to continue to give

you throughout this course,
to take it from wherever

you're at.

So your only goal, your
only goal on the open is to

get the
conversation started.

Take a lot of the
pressure off yourself.

Don't be so nervous
that you have to be so good,

which again should help
with your approach anxiety,

and just get into
the conversation.