Original subtitles

As we start off with opening, I want to make a very

critical point to you, which is the purpose of opening

is very simple.

It's to get a conversation started.

That's it.

If anything beyond that happens off the opener,

that's great.

If you happen to open and establish a premise,

great.

If you open and you get some attraction, absolutely wonderful.

That's all great.

However, your metric, the bar for your open should

be set nice and low.

Reason being,

There are basically two points in an interaction

where you have to be a little needy in a cold

approach scenario.

One is the open and two potentially is the close,

right?

Because those are the two places where you actually

need a particular result.

The whole rest of the interaction, you're in a conversation,

things are flowing naturally and you can be high value,

cool and use just like general good socialization,

good flirting, good communication and establishing value.

But opening, you are actually fundamentally

interrupting people a little bit and you are actually

fundamentally asking for something, i.e., just

attention and time at least, from someone who's

fundamentally a stranger.

So the point of opening is to get into a conversation

and be past the opener as soon as possible and into

a normal interaction.

You should trust yourself that once you're in that

normal interaction, things can really go your way.

So the point is just to get the conversation started.

This also should help you out a lot with approach

anxiety if you happen to have some approach anxiety.

Because a lot of guys, the reason they don't want to approach

is they think they have to have the perfect opener.

You don't, okay?

All you have to do to have had a good opener is to

be in a conversation.

So if you say hi and she says, hey, what's up, back.

you're done.

You've had a good opener.

From there, you're into the next stages of game.

You're into flirting, establishing a premise, et cetera,

et cetera.

As long as you get a response, as long as she

engages with you, you've achieved what you need to.

The other thing with this is,

I would prefer to get that response and get her

attention rather than to necessarily make it smooth.

So a lot of guys, they're so concerned with not offending

or being smooth on the open that they go very

overly light and overly casual.

Like, hey, excuse me.

And the girl doesn't even know.

Sorry, was there a wind?

Was there a breeze near me that made a sound?

Or the guy taps the girl on the shoulder so lightly it's

like a butterfly landed there.

You need to be noticed.

I would actually rather the girl be a little startled,

not a lot startled, but between her being a little

startled and her not knowing you opened, I would

prefer for her to be a little startled.

Because if you open weak and it seems like you didn't

commit to the open, seems like you didn't believe in your open,

and then you have to open again later, that's going

to be very, very, very problematic for you.

And that's going to make you look incredibly low value.

So remember, there are two stages in game where

you're going to have to be a little bit try-hard.

The open is one, the close is the other.

And so you want to, in both those phases, make sure

that things are handled as smoothly as possible and you

just kind of get it done as under the radar as possible.

So with opening, the whole thing is starting interaction.

You're not trying to do too much with it.

Trust yourself that once you're in a conversation,

you have the social skills, you have the game, you have

the game plan, which we're going to continue to give

you throughout this course, to take it from wherever

you're at.

So your only goal, your only goal on the open is to

get the conversation started.

Take a lot of the pressure off yourself.

Don't be so nervous that you have to be so good,

which again should help with your approach anxiety,

and just get into the conversation.