Original subtitles

STOP IT, BERG, MY MILK'S COMING IN.

WHAT? I HAVE TO WELCOME ALL THE NEWBORNS

WHEN THEY'RE FRESH OUT OF THE OVEN.

BABIES LOVE ME.

WELL, WHY WOULDN'T THEY? YOU'RE A BOOB.

HEY THERE, LITTLE FELLA.

HELLO. HELLO. HEY, THERE.

CUT IT OUT. YOU'RE SCARING THEM.

OH, PLEASE. THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST HUNGRY.

YEAH. YEAH. I'M SURE THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

NEWBORNS CAN'T EVEN SEE THAT FAR.

NO, NO, NO, BUT THEY CAN SENSE EVIL.

CHILDREN, RELAX...

SHE'LL BE DEAD BY THE TIME YOU'RE DATING AGE.

JOHNNY!

SORRY, BABY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

DRINKING BEER... WATCHING MY TWO GOOD PALS

SHAGGY AND SCOOBY.

IT'S FUNNIER WITH BEER.

SWEETIE, IT IS 8:00 IN THE MORNING.

YEAH, AND IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, AND I'M NOT GONNA SHAVE,

AND I'M NOT GONNA SHOWER.

I'M JUST GONNA SIT AROUND IN MY UNDERWEAR ALL DAY

AND CELEBRATE LIFE.

COME ON, SWEETIE, YOU CAN DO THAT ANY DAY.

NOT TRUE! LAST TIME I TRIED THIS, YOU SAID,

"WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS, YOUR BIRTHDAY?"

I BET YOU'RE GONNA CHANGE YOUR MIND WHEN YOU SEE YOUR PRESENT.

YOU GOT ME THE CIRCULAR SAW?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

YOU GOT THE EXTENDED WARRANTY.

"JOHNNY DONNELLY IS HEREBY DECLARED

AN HONORARY FIREMAN FOR A DAY."

ISN'T IT GREAT?

PETE WAS SELLING THESE TO RAISE MONEY FOR THE FIRE STATION,

AND I JUST FIGURED, YOU KNOW,

EVERY BOY DREAMS OF BEING A FIREMAN.

I ALWAYS DREAMED OF DRIVING THAT TRUCK

THAT SUCKS THE STUFF OUT OF OUTHOUSES.

OKAY. FORGET IT.

NO. HONEY, NO. COME ON.

NO, IT WAS A STUPID GIFT.

I GOTTA TELL YOU, YOU'RE NOT THE EASIEST TO BUY FOR.

WHAT DO YOU GET THE MAN WHO HAS NOTHING?

WHERE DO YOU START?

DON'T BE UPSET.

I WOULD LOVE TO BE A FIREMAN FOR A DAY.

THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I WOULD NEVER HAVE GOTTEN FOR MYSELF...

NEVER EVER.

ALL RIGHT. RELAX. TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

MAKE THE CAMERA YOUR LOVER.

IT'S JUST AN I.D. PHOTO, GERM. WILL YOU TAKE IT ALREADY?

COME ON, DR. WALKER, MOVE ME.

MAKE ME FEEL SOMETHING. MAKE ME CRY.

IT'S TOO BAD YOU'RE NOT A BABY,

OR YOU'D BE BAWLING YOUR EYES OUT.

BERG, WILL YOU JUST BE... NEXT!

GERM!

GERM, THAT WAS A TERRIBLE PICTURE.

TAKE ANOTHER ONE.

NEXT.

GERM!

NEXT!

GERM! G... NEXT!!

ALL RIGHT.

I'M UP.

FINALLY, THEY SEND ME A FACE.

THIS IS THE LAST SHOT OF THE MORNING.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WANTING FAKE I.D.s,

MEET ME IN THE PARKING LOT IN 15 MINUTES.

EVER HEARD THE EXPRESSION "LADIES FIRST"?

LEARNED THAT AFTER "WAIT YOUR TURN."

I WAS REALLY HOPING TO GET THIS DONE TODAY.

YEAH, SO WAS I. YOU THINK THIS JUST HAPPENS?

WELL, I GUESS CHIVALRY IS DEAD.

WHAT?

EXCUSE ME.

WHY WOULD SHE SAY THAT?

I'M ALL ABOUT CHIVALRY. WHO DOES SHE THINK...

SMILE.

SHE IS?!

GOOD WORK, MAN.

COME BACK NEXT WEEK, I'LL BRING THE WIND MACHINE.

THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN.

I TOLD YOU, I'LL TAPE THE HOCKEY GAME.

DON'T TELL ME HOW IT ENDS.

AND DON'T TAPE OVER "SCOOBY DOO."

JUST GO BE A FIREMAN. IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.

YOU GET TO HANG OUT WITH THE GUYS AND SCRATCH AND CURSE.

OKAY, STOP!

HEY. OKAY.

OKAY, THAT'S A LETHAL WEAPON.

DON'T DO THAT!

HEY, PUT THOSE BACK.

TAKE THAT OFF, THAT'S NOT A TOY.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE THAT BOOT HAS BEEN?

WELL, I DO, SO TAKE IT OFF YOUR HEAD.

I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GONNA BE LIKE THIS.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY.

NO. YOU WENT THROUGH A LOT OF TROUBLE.

AT LEAST THIS WAY I KNOW I WON'T GET PICKED ON.

OKAY, FINALLY, LOOK... FIREFIGHTER JOHNNY IS HERE.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN FIREFIGHTERS ARE LATE?

PEOPLE DIE, JOHNNY!

HEY, WHY DOES HIS MOMMY GET TO STAY?

BECAUSE HIS MOMMY LOVES HIM.

SHARON, YOU CAN TAKE OFF.

BYE.

EWWW! EWWW! EWWW!

NOW WE CAN START.

LISTEN, THE FIRST THING WE DO WHEN WE HEAR THE FIRE ALARM

IS WE SLIDE DOWN THE POLE.

WHO WANTS TO SLIDE DOWN THE POLE?

I DO! I DO! ME!

HOW 'BOUT YOU, BIRTHDAY BOY?

THEY'RE SO CUTE WHEN THEY'RE BIG.

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

I WAS THERE BEFORE HER.

I KNOW BECAUSE SHE HELD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME.

CHIVALRY ISN'T ABOUT DOING THE RIGHT THING.

IT'S ABOUT A MAN DOING THE EXTRA THING FOR THE LADY.

LIKE THE EXTRA THINGS THIS MAN DOES FOR HIS LADY?

THAT ISN'T CHIVALRY.

IT'S MEDIEVAL, BUT IT AIN'T CHIVALRY.

THE CODPIECE WAS FOR YOU.

LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY ABOUT CHIVALRY.

REMEMBER LAST WINTER...

WE HAD THAT BIG STORM AND THE STREETS WERE FLOODED?

I SLIPPED AND FELL IN THE MUD OUT FRONT.

PEOPLE JUST WALKED BY AND LAUGHED.

BUT THEN A TALL, HANDSOME KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR

CAME OUT OF THIS BUILDING, HELPED ME UP,

TOOK ME INSIDE, AND MADE ME SOME COCOA.

I DON'T REMEMBER DOING THAT.

'CAUSE IT WAS JOHNNY!

YOU THINK JOHNNY'S HANDSOME?

NOT THE POINT!

LOOK, HE WAS BEING CHIVALROUS.

WHY EVEN CARE WHAT THAT NURSE THINKS, ANYWAY?

BECAUSE! I CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE A GOOD PERSON.

I HATE TO THINK THAT THERE'S SOMEBODY OUT THERE

WHO DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME WAY.

SO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD SHOULD LOVE YOU?

I DON'T THINK THAT'S TOO MUCH TO ASK.

THAT...

WAS THE BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT I EVER GOT!

NO WAY?!

SO I SHOULD CANCEL THE HOT FUDGE AND MAKE-UP SEX?

THE "STICKY ICKY"?

THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER.

SO YOU REALLY HAD A GOOD TIME?

I LOVED IT!

AFTER THE KIDS WENT HOME, PETE INVITED ME ON THE TRUCK.

HE TOOK YOU TO A FIRE?

NO, NO, FOR YOGURT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I FOUND OUT?

FIREMAN GET YOGURT FOR FREE! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

AFTER THAT WE WENT FOR COFFEE. GUESS WHAT?

COFFEE WAS FREE, TOO? YEAH!

YOU KNOW, SHARON, YOU WILL NEVER MEET A GROUP OF NICER GUYS.

THEY LET YOU TURN ON THE SIREN, DIDN'T THEY?

YEAH! YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK I WOULD MAKE A VERY GOOD FIREMAN.

YES, HONEY, I THINK THAT YOU WOULD.

BECAUSE I SIGNED UP FOR THE TRAINING PROGRAM.

I'M GONNA FIGHT FIRES. WHAT?!

FIRST I VOLUNTEER AT THE FIRE STATION,

THEN I GO TO BOOT CAMP,

AND IN 6 MONTHS I'LL BE A FIREFIGHTER.

WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER CHILDREN? ARE THEY DOING THAT?

HONEY, I'M SERIOUS. I'M GONNA FIGHT FIRES.

NO, NO, NO, THAT'S DANGEROUS. YOU COULD GET HURT!

NOT IF I STAY ALERT.

IF THAT WAS ON FIRE, I WOULD HAVE SEEN IT.

HEY.

HEY.

SO, JOHNNY HAD A FUN DAY.

I KNOW, AND VERY WELL-BEHAVED DURING NAP TIME.

YEAH. NOW HE WANTS TO BECOME A FIREMAN.

I KNOW. HE TOLD ME.

THAT IS JUST CRAZY.

WHY IS THAT CRAZY? SHARON, I'M A FIREMAN.

PETE, YOU'RE GOOD AT IT. YOU'VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES.

JOHNNY BURNED HIMSELF SHAVING.

COME ON, SHARON, LOOK...

ALL SPOUSES GET WORRIED AT FIRST.

EVENTUALLY THEY GET OVER IT,

AND IF NOT, THEY MEET SOMEBODY IN REHAB.

THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

PETE, YOUR FUNDRAISER WAS FOR WIDOWS AND ORPHANS.

NO, SEE... THAT'S JUST MARKETING.

WHO WOULD CONTRIBUTE

IF THEY KNEW THEY WERE SENDING US TO ATLANTIC CITY?

YOU'RE NOT TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY AND NEITHER IS HE.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

HE THINKS BEING A FIREMAN IS EASIER THAN BEING A JANITOR.

HE S... HE SAID THAT?

ACTUALLY, HIS EXACT WORDS WERE,

"IF PETE CAN FIGHT FIRES, ANY BOZO CAN."

OH, OH, YEAH, YEAH.

I'D LIKE TO SEE BOZO ENTERTAIN A GROUP OF CHILDREN ALL DAY.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

HE ALSO SAID ALL YOU GUYS SEEM TO DO

IS TAKE THE TRUCK OUT FOR FREE YOGURT.

FREE YOGURT?

HE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE FREE YOGURT?

SEE, CIVILIANS, THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT.

THAT'S JUST BETRAYAL!

YOU KNOW, I HATE TO SAY THIS ABOUT MY OWN HUSBAND,

BUT SOMEONE NEEDS TO TEACH HIM A LESSON.

YEAH. YEAH.

AND I KNOW JUST THE MAN TO DO IT.

YOU.

NO, PETE.

OKAY, YOU BIG WUSSY, I'LL DO IT.

AND THEN, JOHNNY STARTS SHOOTIN' HIS MOUTH OFF.

YEAH, WE'LL SEE HOW COCKY HE IS

WHEN HE HAS TO CARRY THE TIRES TO THE POLICE STATION.

WE NEVER HAD TO DO THAT.

HOW'S THE POLICE CHIEF SUPPOSED TO INSPECT THE TIRES IF HE...

I KNEW THAT.

HEY, GUYS.

VOLUNTEER DONNELLY REPORTING FOR DUTY.

ALL RIGHT, ROOKIE, WE GOT A LOT OF WORK FOR YOU TO DO.

WE GOT BOOTS TO SHINE. WE GOT FLOORS TO MOP.

AND THEN YOU GOTTA SHAVE CHUCK'S BACK.

IT'S TRUE... WE ALL HAD TO DO IT.

OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU GUYS ARE JUST JERKS.

OKAY, SERIOUSLY, WHAT'S FIRST? WHAT'S FIRST?

FIRST, WE WANT YOU TO TAKE EACH OF THESE 60-POUND HOSES

UP TO THE SECOND FLOOR, BUT HERE'S THE THING...

WE JUST PAINTED THE STAIRS, SO YOU CAN'T USE THOSE.

YOU HAVE TO USE THE POLE.

OHO-HO!

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE HAZING THINGS, ISN'T IT?

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT!

NICE WORK, DUNVILLE.

OH, AND WHEN YOU FINISH THAT, CLEAN THE OVEN.

VERY NICE.

IT'S FILTHY, AND I HAVE TO BAKE IN THE MORNING.

ALL RIGHT, WHO'S NEXT?

OH, NO... NO DO-OVERS.

GERM, I DEMAND YOU RETAKE THIS PICTURE.

LOOK AT IT!

OH, BOY, YOU'RE RIGHT.

NO WONDER YOU MAKE THE BABIES CRY!

CAN YOU HELP ME?

NO, IT'S A CAMERA, NOT THE HAND OF GOD.

NEXT!

HEY...

I WAS THINKING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN US EARLIER...

YEAH, THAT WAS MY LUNCH BREAK,

AND NOW I'M MISSING MY KID'S SOCCER GAME.

Okay, see, I didn't know that.

LOOK, UM, I TALKED IT OVER WITH MY GIRLFRIEND,

AND... AND I REALIZE

THAT MAYBE I COULD HAVE GIVEN UP MY PLACE IN LINE.

SO I'M HERE TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU... COME WITH ME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M BEING CHIVALROUS. HEY, HAIRDO, BEAT IT!

YOU ARE AMAZING.

YOU CUT IN FRONT OF A BUNCH OF HARDWORKING NURSES

JUST TO SOMEHOW PROVE TO ME WHAT A GOOD GUY YOU ARE.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN, DO YOU?

WELL, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ME IN MY CODPIECE, HAVE YOU?

DUDE, YOU'RE A PIG!

GOOD YOGURT!

MM-HMM.

JOHNNY!

JOHNNY!

YEAH?

WHERE ARE ALL THE HOSES?

UH, TOP OF THE POLE, WHERE YOU WANTED 'EM,

AND OVEN IS CLEAN, TOO, BUT WHOEVER IS MAKIN' SOUFFLéS

SHOULD REALLY JUST LAY SOME FOIL DOWN.

THIS GUY'S GOOD.

I'M GONNA GO LATHER UP MY BACK.

ALL RIGHT, HOTSHOT, LET'S GET THOSE HOSES BACK DOWN HERE.

WAIT A SECOND... I JUST PUT 'EM UP THERE.

I MISSED YOGURT!

ARE YOU SASSIN' ME?!

WHAT IS THIS, PETE? THE OTHER DAY I WAS HERE,

YOU WERE TREATIN' ME LIKE A KING,

AND TODAY YOU'RE DOGGIN' ME!

YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY SHOULDN'T I?

APPARENTLY YOU THINK IT'S REAL EASY BEIN' A FIREMAN.

I NEVER SAID THAT.

SHARON ALSO TOLD ME YOU FIGURED,

"IF PETE CAN DO IT, ANY BOZO CAN!"

WHOA, NO... I NEVER SAID THAT!

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DEFEND YOU WHEN I HEAR THAT.

LOOK, BABIES, IT'S RAGGEDY ANDY,

AND HE'S NOT CRYING.

WHAT'S THAT, RAGGEDY ANDY?

YOU LOVE ME?

OH!

MWAH, MWAH, MWAH! MWAH, MWAH, MWAH!

THINK ABOUT WHAT THEY'RE SEEING...

THE MEAN WOMAN EATING THE LITTLE, REDHEADED KID.

WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT THAT ALL THE BABIES LIKE YOU?

IT'S NOT JUST BABIES WHO ARE AFRAID OF ME.

IT'S ALSO SMALL ANIMALS AND THE BLIND.

OKAY, SO MAYBE IT'S NOT THE WAY YOU LOOK,

BUT THE WAY YOU SMELL.

HELLO, DR. WALKER.

LADIES.

DR. PIG.

ALL THE NURSES HAVE BEEN TREATING ME LIKE THAT.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO DO THE EXTRA THING FOR A LADY.

YEAH, BUT, BERG, YOU CAN'T FORCE IT.

THINK ABOUT THAT WHEN YOU FORCE INNOCENT BABIES

TO WATCH YOUR CREEPY PUPPET SHOWS.

HEY! LOOK, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

SURE... IT'S A PERFECT TIME

WHILE I'M STANDING HERE HOLDING A HEAVY BOX.

OKAY, LOOK...

I KNOW WE GOT OFF TO A BAD FIRST IMPRESSION,

AND I MADE A TERRIBLE SECOND IMPRESSION,

BUT SERIOUSLY, IF YOU GIVE ME ENOUGH CHANCES,

EVENTUALLY I COME OFF ADORABLE.

WELL, I GUESS I COULD GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE.

ALL RIGHT, LAY IT ON.

HERE.

OW! OW!

SOMETHING WENT.

MY BACK... IT'S, UH...

IT'S AN OLD FLAG-CORPS INJURY.

GOOD! YOU DESERVE IT.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE CHIVALRY ISN'T DEAD.

MAYBE IT'S JUST AVOIDING YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE NASTY.

THIS GUY IS A GOOD GUY.

ALL WEEK LONG,

I'VE BEEN REALLY DOWN ABOUT SOMETHING

THAT'S BEEN GOING ON IN THE MATERNITY WARD.

THE BABIES ARE AFRAID OF HER FACE.

AND HIS CARING HAS HELPED ME THROUGH IT.

SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST BACK OFF AND TAKE YOUR BOX WITH YOU!

YEAH, BEFORE WE GET MAD.

THANKS, ASHLEY.

I DID NOT WANT TO CARRY THAT BOX.

HEY, BABY. HEY.

GUESS WHO I BROUGHT HOME FOR DINNER.

OOH, SOMEONE TO MAKE IT?

YEAH, YEAH, I'D BE HAPPY TO.

I MEAN, IF I CAN MAKE DINNER, ANY BOZO CAN.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I LIED!

JEEZ, YOU GUYS ACT LIKE IT'S THE FIRST TIME!

YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD REASON.

I DO! YOU BEING A FIREMAN SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME, JOHNNY.

WHAT IF YOU GOT BURNED TO DEATH OR... OR WORSE?!

WHAT'S WORSE?

I GUESS IF YOU'RE BURNED RIGHT UP TO THE EDGE OF DEATH,

YOU KNOW...

A-AND THEN YOU JUST KIND OF LINGERED.

JOHNNY, I'M SERIOUS... I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

SHARON, I TOLD YOU I'M GONNA BE THERE TO HELP HIM.

AAHHHH! AAHHH! AAHHH!

OW!

T-THAT TOASTER IS ON!

LOOK, HONEY, I KNOW BEING A FIREMAN IS DANGEROUS,

BUT I DON'T PLAN ON GETTING HURT.

JOHNNY, YOU CANNOT CONTROL THAT!

I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE MY MOM... WAITING UP,

WONDERING WHETHER OR NOT HER HUSBAND MAKES IT HOME.

YOUR FATHER WASN'T A FIREFIGHTER.

HE HAD A WHOLE OTHER FAMILY.

BABY, I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU.

SWEETIE, WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY THAT,

INSTEAD OF PUTTING US THROUGH ALL THIS?

BECAUSE YOU JUST SEEMED SO EXCITED

AND IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY,

SO I JUST FIGURED, WHY NOT MAKE PETE THE BAD GUY?

BABY, YOU ARE NOT GONNA LOSE ME.

THEN DON'T DO IT! BUT I HAVE TO!

NO, SWEET...

WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING,

I DON'T FEEL GOOD TELLING THEM I'M A JANITOR.

YOU TELL THEM YOU'RE A JANITOR?!

NO WONDER WE DON'T GET INVITED TO PARTIES!

SEE?

NOW, YOU TOOK THAT JOB AT THE LAW OFFICE

SO THAT YOU COULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

YOU COME HOME EVERY DAY, PROUD OF ALL YOU'VE DONE.

I WANT THAT!

JOHNNY, LIVE THROUGH ME!

SHARON, THIS IS WHAT I WANT...

I WANT TO SAVE PEOPLE'S LIVES.

YOU ARE SO SELFISH!

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' OUT HERE?

I'M MAD AT JOHNNY, AND WE ONLY HAVE ONE ROOM.

HE WANTS TO BECOME A FIREMAN!

OH, THAT'S GREAT!

THAT'S GREAT... I THINK JOHNNY WOULD MAKE A GREAT FIREMAN.

NOT THAT I'D KNOW...

HE'S MARRIED TO YOU, THOUGH, SO HE MUST BE BRAVE.

THAT'S WHAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT... HE'S BRAVE.

N-NOW, WITH HIM BEING A JANITOR,

AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY

ABOUT HIM DYING FROM FIXING A LEAK.

OH, Y-YOU CAN DIE FROM FIXING A LEAK.

YOU'RE STANDING IN WATER...

YOU CROSS A COUPLE OF LIVE WIRES TOGETHER, AND...

DEEP-FRIED JOHNNY.

THANK YOU, BERG.

LOOK... OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT...

BEING A FIREMAN IS DANGEROUS,

BUT JOHNNY'S GOT A GOOD HEAD ON HIS SHOULDERS.

BESIDES, IF THERE'S ANYTHING THAT'S GONNA KEEP HIM SAFE,

IT'S KNOWING THAT HE HAS YOU TO COME HOME TO.

THAT WAS SWEET. THANK YOU.

YEAH, WELL, I GUESS CHIVALRY STILL HAS A PULSE.

YOU'RE FREEZING.

I KNOW... GOD, I'M SO COLD!

I KNOW! YOU OUGHT TO HAVE A JACKET.

IT'S, LIKE, 20 DEGREES OUT HERE!

DON'T BRING THAT COLD MY WAY!

OH! HIDE THE BABY... BOOGEYWOMAN!

DON'T BE SILLY.

HERE, COME MEET MY LITTLE NIECE.

WELL, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SCARE THE BABY,

WHY DON'T YOU STICK A BALLOON IN HER CRIB AND POP IT?

HE'S RIGHT, IRENE.

BABIES ARE TERRIFIED OF ME.

COME ON, BABIES ARE EASY TO GET ALONG WITH.

JUST... OKAY, LET OUT THE INNER ASHLEY.

NO, THE PROBLEM IS IT'S WRAPPED IN THE OUTER ASHLEY.

COME ON, JUST RELAX. TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS AND TAKE ONE STEP FORWARD.

WOW!

SHE LIKES YOU. COME CLOSER.

WOW.

CLOSER, CLOSER.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!

CAN I HOLD HER?

OKAY, LET'S NOT PUSH OUR LUCK.

YOU'RE RIGHT. BUT THANKS A LOT, IRENE.

GOSH, MAYBE BABIES DON'T HATE ME.

NO, BABIES HATE HER...

BUT OUR SALAMI SURE DOESN'T.

THAT WAS VERY NICE OF YOU... I MIGHT EVEN SAY "CHIVALROUS."

HEY, IS IT WRONG IF I RAISE IT AS MY OWN?

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO RAISE A SALAMI?

LET'S JUST EAT IT.