Original subtitles

OH, HEY, BERG.

I'M MAKING YOUR FAVORITE,

CHOPPED SALAD WITH BOLOGNA.

AND I CIRCLED ALL YOUR FAVORITE PROGRAMS

IN THE "TV GUIDE,"

AND I PUT LITTLE STARS NEXT TO "THE TELETUBBIES."

COME ON, MAN. I'M TRYING HERE.

OH, OH, YOU'RE TRYING.

WELL, THIS SEEMS LIKE A FAIR TRADE.

I GET A USED "TV GUIDE," AND YOU GET MY MOTHER.

I SAID I WASN'T GOING TO SEE HER ANYMORE,

AND I TOLD YOU HOW SORRY I AM.

YOU KNOW, IT'S WAY TOO LATE FOR THAT.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

YOU KNOW, YOU CAN JUST STOP APOLOGIZING, ALL RIGHT?

BECAUSE THIS IS THE TYPE OF THING YOU CAN NEVER FORGIVE.

NEVER FORGIVE? NEVER...

OKAY, OKAY. YEAH, FINE. YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU FEEL,

THEN IT'S FINE BY ME.

GREAT.

BUT WHEN I THINK OF EVERYTHING

WE'VE BEEN THROUGH TOGETHER,

AND WHAT WE MEAN TO EACH OTHER,

AND HOW YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY PERFECT YOURSELF, MISTER...

YOU KNOW, IT MAKES ME WANT TO... AAH! AAH!

DON'T TELL ME THAT MOUSE IS BACK.

NO, BERG. I CUT MY FINGER.

I THINK IT'S REALLY BAD.

REALLY? LET ME TAKE A LOOK.

AAH.

OKAY. ALL RIGHT, EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE OKAY.

WE'RE JUST GOING TO...

I HAVE TO GET YOU TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT AWAY

AND GET THAT FINGER REATTACHED.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, REATTACHED?

I DON'T WANT YOU TO PANIC,

BUT YOU JUST CUT OFF THE TIP OF YOUR FINGER.

OH. OH, GOD, BERG. I THINK I SEE A LIGHT.

GRANDMAMA?

NO, YOU DON'T. LOOK, IT'S GOING TO BE FINE.

I PUT THE TIP ON ICE. LET'S GO. COME ON.

OKAY.

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE YOU A CHOPPED SALAD.

NEXT TIME, HOLD THE FINGER.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU WOULD HAVE CUT THE TIP OF YOUR FINGER OFF,

I WOULD HAVE TAKEN YOU TO THE HOSPITAL IN AN AMBULANCE.

LOOK, A CAB WILL BE FASTER.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO RELATE TO THIS,

BUT YOU CAN TRUST ME BECAUSE THAT'S THE KIND OF FRIEND I AM,

LOYAL AND TRUSTWORTHY, NOT LIKE SOME PEOPLE!

ARE YOU STILL ON THIS?

YES!

WHAT'S IT GOING TO TAKE? I CUT MY FINGER OFF FOR YOU!

NO, YOU CUT YOUR FINGER OFF FOR DINNER!

FORGET THIS. WHY DON'T I JUST WALK?

'CAUSE YOU'LL BLEED OUT IN AROUND FOUR BLOCKS.

ALL RIGHT, I WAS JUST POSING THE QUESTION.

LOOK, PETE, LISTEN TO ME NOW.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE.

OH, MY GOD. I FELT THAT.

RELAX, ALL RIGHT? YOU HAVE UP TO SIX HOURS

TO GET YOUR FINGER REATTACHED, OKAY?

JUST DON'T PANIC, APPLY PRESSURE... TAXI!

AND KEEP THE AREA DRY.

HEY, BABY. HOW'D IT GO TODAY?

LOUSY. THERE'S NOT ONE LAW FIRM IN BOSTON

THAT WILL HIRE ME AS A LEGAL ASSISTANT.

I COULDN'T MEET A LAWYER

IF I WAS FOLLOWED BY A TOBACCO COMPANY.

OKAY, WHY DON'T WE MAKE THAT PLAN B?

I MEAN, SO WHAT IF I HAVEN'T STARTED LAW SCHOOL YET?

I MISS THE OLD DAYS WHEN I GOT WHAT I WANTED

'CAUSE I'M CUTE.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THAT JOB

OVER AT POWELL, BROWN, AND JOHNSON?

WHAT?

THEY CALLED WHILE YOU WERE OUT.

OH, MY GOD! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME RIGHT AWAY?

TO WAIT UNTIL I'D BE A BIGGER HERO.

NOW GO, GO, GO.

THEY SAID BE THERE IN HALF AN HOUR. DON'T BE LATE.

GOD, I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED,

AND THEY'RE ALREADY BUSTING MY HUMP.

ISN'T THAT GREAT?

HEY, SHAR. SO, YOU READY?

OH, ASH, I CAN'T HELP YOU WITH YOUR HOMEWORK THING.

I GOT A JOB INTERVIEW.

OH, NO, NO, NO, SHARON.

I REALLY NEED A GOOD GRADE ON THIS PSYCH PAPER,

AND YOU'RE THE PERFECT SUBJECT.

YOU'RE SO INTERESTING AND COLORFUL.

OH, UH, SORRY. JOHNNY WILL DO IT.

FINE. I'LL GET A D.

HOW YOU HOLDING UP?

I'M OKAY. I THINK I'M OKAY. AM I OKAY?

TELL ME I'M OKAY.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE.

YOU'LL BE FINE.

I'VE SEEN A NUMBER OF REATTACHMENTS.

SEE? IT'S A CLEAN CUT, WHICH IS GOOD,

BECAUSE THAT WAY, WHEN THEY REATTACH IT,

YOU WON'T SEE A SCAR.

OH, MY GOD!

BERG, THERE'S TWO FINGERS IN THERE.

NO, NO, ONE'S A GARBANZO BEAN.

HEY, LISTEN, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR MOM.

OH, PLEASE, DROP IT.

NO, WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

FINE. FINE. I'M SURE YOU HAVE

A PERFECTLY REASONABLE EXPLANATION,

ONE THAT WILL MAKE ME FEEL COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE

AT USING MY MOTHER AS YOUR PLAYTHING.

IN FACT, I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.

THIS IS GOING TO BE SUPER.

ALL RIGHT, PETE, I'M LISTENING. GO!

LOOK, I NEVER INTENDED FOR THIS TO HAPPEN, OKAY?

SHE WAS NERVOUS ABOUT HER DATE WITH CAPTAIN SHAW,

AND I STARTED TO REASSURE HER,

AND THEN SHE STARTED TELLING ME

WHAT A GREAT GUY I WAS,

AND I JUST FINISHED ZIPPING UP HER DRESS,

AND THEN WE WERE...

WILL YOU SPARE ME THE DETAILS, STUMPY?

WHERE ARE WE?

I DON'T KNOW. WHERE ARE WE?

EXCUSE ME. HEY, WHERE ARE WE?

UH, GOING HOSPITAL.

NO, I SAID THE HOSPITAL WAS ON 5th STREET.

YOU'VE TAKEN US ALL THE WAY...

GOD, HOW MANY HOOKERS DOES ONE TOWN NEED?

YOU SAY HOSPITAL. YOU NOT SAY WHICH HOSPITAL.

I DID SAY WHICH HOSPITAL.

I SAID THE HOSPITAL ON 5th STREET.

ALL RIGHT, WHICH HOSPITAL ARE YOU TAKING US TO?

WELL, I BE HONEST. I'M NEW IN THIS COUNTRY.

I'M NOT SURE.

OH, MY GOD. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

JUST, LOOK, MAKE A LEFT AT THE NEXT STREET...

DON'T MAKE A LEFT. U-TURN, U-TURN.

IGNORE HIM. MAKE A LEFT AT THE NEXT STREET...

PLEASE, PLEASE, ONE AT A TIME.

THE ONE WHO DID THE BONKY-BONK

WITH THE OTHER ONE'S MOTHER, YOU FIRST.

HI. EXCUSE ME.

I'M SHARON CARTER. I'M HERE ABOUT THE JOB.

OH, GOOD. WILL YOU BE ABLE TO START TOMORROW?

OH. UH, SURE.

DON'T YOU WANT TO INTERVIEW ME FIRST?

ALL RIGHT. CAN YOU RIDE A BICYCLE?

YEAH. WHY?

WE FIND IT A USEFUL SKILL FOR BIKE MESSENGERS.

NO, NO, I'M NOT HERE TO BE A BIKE MESSENGER.

I WANT TO HAVE CONTACT WITH THE LAWYERS.

STAB YOUR HUSBAND. THAT'S WHAT I DID.

WELL, YOU WANT THE JOB OR NOT?

NO. I WANT TO BE IN THE TRENCHES,

YOU KNOW, DEFENDING THE RIGHTS OF THE LESS FORTUNATE.

THAT'S WHY I WANT TO BE A LAWYER,

AND I WANT TO LEARN FROM THE BEST.

SO IF I HAVE TO COME HERE EVERY DAY AND BEG FOR A JOB,

THEN THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.

THANK YOU. I'LL NOTIFY SECURITY.

YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE BETTY.

SHE'S BEEN LIKE THIS EVER SINCE SHE PASSED AWAY.

MARK BRESLIN. I'M AN ATTORNEY.

UH, I GATHER THAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A JOB.

YES.

WELL, IT SOUNDS AS THOUGH YOU'RE SERIOUS

IN YOUR COMMITMENT TO THE LAW.

YES, SIR. ABSOLUTELY.

CAN YOU WORK LONG HOURS WITHOUT COMPLAINING?

NOT WITHOUT COMPLAINING.

WELL, NEITHER CAN I,

BUT YOU CERTAINLY GOT A LOT OF PASSION,

AND THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE A GOOD LAWYER.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

UM, I'M LOOKING FOR AN ASSISTANT.

YOU WANT ME TO WORK FOR YOU

AT ONE OF THE TOP LAW FIRMS IN BOSTON?

OH, NO. I DON'T WORK HERE.

UM, I'M REPRESENTING A CLIENT IN A SETTLEMENT MEETING.

OH. WELL, IF YOU'RE BUTTING HEADS WITH THE BIG GUYS,

THEN I AM RARING TO GO.

GREAT. I'D LIKE YOU TO START RIGHT AWAY.

ALL RIGHT. WELL, IT'S ALMOST LUNCHTIME,

BUT OKAY.

YOU SHOULD CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY, JOHNNY.

THERAPY IS USUALLY RESERVED FOR THE COMPLICATED.

NOW, IF ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS ARE TOO PERSONAL,

YOU JUST LET ME KNOW.

NO, NO, GO AHEAD.

HIT ME WITH YOUR MUMBO-JUMBO, DR. FRAUD.

THAT'S VERY CLEVER.

HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN A PSYCHOLOGICAL TEST BEFORE?

YES, ONCE AT A SLEEPOVER

WHEN THE OUIJA BOARD GOT OLD.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE I'M INTERVIEWING THE WRONG SUBJECT.

THERE'S A ST. BERNARD AROUND THE CORNER

THAT CAN OPEN A DOOR.

I'M OKAY. HIT ME. COME ON. GO AHEAD.

OKAY. NOW, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS,

AND THEN I'M GOING TO WRITE

A COMPLETE PROFILE OF YOUR PERSONALITY.

OKAY. TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE.

INK.

OKAY. LOOK AGAIN,

AND THIS TIME, USE YOUR IMAGINATION.

YOU KNOW, MAKE PLAY-PLAY IN THE HEAD.

COME ON.

YOU KNOW, THIS WOULD BE

A LOT EASIER ON BOTH OF US

IF I HAD A FEW DRINKS.

PICTURES ARE HARD.

WHY DON'T WE TRY SOME MULTIPLE CHOICE?

OKAY.

OKAY. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN THE FOLLOWING SITUATION?

YOU SEE A PERSON WHO OWES YOU $100...

OKAY.

I WOULD NEVER LEND ANYONE MONEY.

OKAY, BUT SAY IN A UNIVERSE

WHERE THAT MIGHT BE POSSIBLE,

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD DO?

I DON'T KNOW. WHY DID I LEND THIS PERSON MONEY?

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

YEAH, THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.

MEANWHILE, I'M OUT 100 BUCKS.

FORGET IT. OKAY, MOVING ON.

SEXUAL FANTASIES. WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE...

NEXT.

YES, BUT WOULD YOU...

NEXT.

WE'RE IN PLENTY OF TIME. JUST SIT DOWN,

KEEP YOUR HAND ELEVATED, I'LL GET US RIGHT IN.

ALL RIGHT, TELL THEM I'M A HAND MODEL.

HI, I'M DR. MICHAEL BERG,

AND MY PATIENT HAS CUT OFF THE TIP OF HIS FINGER.

WE NEED TO GET HIM IN A PRE-OP RIGHT AWAY.

PETE, HAND ME THE BAG.

WHAT?

THE BAG WITH YOUR FINGERTIP.

Y-Y-YOU HAD IT.

NO, YOU... OH, MY GOD.

WHAT?

I LEFT IT IN THE CAB.

YOU'RE KIDDING ME. YOU'RE KID...

YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE!

I DID NOT. YUH-HUH.

BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO GET EVEN WITH ME

FOR BEING WITH YOUR MOTHER,

SO YOU THREW MY FINGER AWAY!

KEEP IT DOWN.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK, THAT IS RIDICULOUS, OKAY?

LOOK, HEY, WE HAVE PLENTY OF TIME, ALL RIGHT?

I WILL GET IT BACK. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

ARE YOU SURE?

OF COURSE I'M SURE. HEY, HIGH FOUR.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,

ONE MORE TRIP TO THE AIRPORT, BACK TO THE HOTEL.

EXCUSE ME.

I'M STILL HERE.

RIGHT.

SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT...

YOU LEFT YOUR FINGER IN ONE OF OUR CABS?

NO, NOT MY FINGER.

MY FRIEND'S FINGER, ALL RIGHT?

COME ON. WILL YOU HELP ME OUT HERE OR WHAT?

WHAT WAS THE CAB'S NUMBER?

I DON'T KNOW. IT WAS YELLOW.

YOU SEE OUR PROBLEM HERE?

OKAY. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,

I REMEMBER SOMETHING ABOUT THE DRIVER, THOUGH.

ALL RIGHT. THAT MIGHT HELP.

HE HAD AN ACCENT. HE WAS FROM A FOREIGN COUNTRY.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

UM, LOOK, THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND'S FINGER,

AND, UH, HE THINKS I LOST IT ON PURPOSE.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

YES, I'M MAD AT HIM,

BUT WHO WOULDN'T BE AFTER WHAT HE DID?

MUST BE PRETTY SERIOUS IF YOU CUT OFF HIS FINGER.

HE DATED MY MOTHER.

AND YOU ONLY CUT OFF HIS FINGER?

DISPATCH.

WHAT? ACTUALLY, HOLD ON A SECOND.

REALLY?

IT WASN'T A BIG TOE, WAS IT?

NO, IT WAS A FINGER.

WHAT KIND OF PLACE ARE YOU RUNNING HERE?

NO, EDDIE, I GUESS YOU CAN KEEP THE TOE.

OH, LOOK AT THIS CONFERENCE ROOM.

IT'S ALL TO INTIMIDATE YOU.

THEY WANT TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE NOBODY, SHELLY.

IT'S SHARON.

SHARON.

GOSH, THIS IS SO EXCITING. MY FIRST SETTLEMENT MEETING.

SO WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO, SIR?

I WANT YOU TO PRETEND THAT YOU'RE MY ASSOCIATE.

YOU SIT UP STRAIGHT, YOU LOOK STEELY-EYED,

AND YOU PUT THIS PEN IN YOUR POCKET.

OKAY, WHY?

IT'S A NICE PEN.

UM, OKAY, SO WHAT IS THIS CASE ABOUT?

MY CLIENT, SINGLE FATHER OF TWO,

LOST THE USE OF HIS LEGS DUE TO THE NEGLIGENCE

OF THE COMPANY REPRESENTED BY THIS FIRM.

OH, THAT IS TERRIBLE.

NOW, HOW MUCH DO THESE CASES USUALLY SETTLE FOR?

USUALLY IN THE MILLIONS.

NICE.

I MEAN... THAT'S BAD,

AWFUL THAT HE LOST THE USE OF HIS LEGS,

BUT IT'S PRETTY GOOD.

MR. BRESLIN, WE HAVE REVIEWED THE FACTS

OF YOUR CLIENT'S CASE, AND ALTHOUGH WE FEEL

THIS IS NOTHING MORE THAN A NUISANCE SUIT,

IN THE INTEREST OF RESOLVING THIS PROMPTLY,

WE HAVE PREPARED A CERTIFIED CHECK

IN THE AMOUNT OF $30,000.

$30,000? TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

BOY, ARE YOU GUYS IN FOR A SURPRISE. TELL HIM.

WE'LL TAKE IT.

WHAT?

THANK YOU.

$30,000? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

I WAS THINKING I WAS GOING TO GET $20,000.

OH, DADDY'S HAD A GOOD DAY.

OKAY.

ONE LAST TEST.

I'M GOING TO HOLD UP A CARD,

AND YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO DRAW WHAT YOU SEE.

IT'S JUST YOUR IMPRESSIONS.

DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A WORK OF ART.

OKAY... TIME.

LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.

IT'S MY FINGERS.

THAT'S CUTE. THAT'S VERY CUTE.

YEAH.

SORRY TO DRAW THEM SO CHUBBY.

JOHNNY, WHY ARE YOU STONEWALLING ME?

OOH, STONEWALLING.

IS THAT ONE OF YOUR BIG DOCTOR WORDS?

WELL, I'M SORRY IF I COULDN'T BE A LITTLE MORE COLORFUL.

OH, NO, JOHNNY, YOU ARE SURPRISINGLY COLORFUL,

BORDERING ON PSYCHOTIC.

RIGHT.

I DIDN'T EVEN ANSWER ANY OF YOUR STUPID QUESTIONS.

OH, NO.

NO, IT'S NOT YOUR ANSWERS THAT TELL ME ABOUT YOU,

IT'S THE WAY YOU RESPOND TO THE QUESTIONS.

YOU ARE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE,

YOU HAVE TROUBLE WITH AUTHORITY,

AND I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'VE GOT A DRINKING PROBLEM.

WHAT... WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

DON'T WRITE THAT DOWN.

WRITE IT DOWN? ARE YOU KIDDING?

I'M HOPING TO HAVE IT PUBLISHED.

YOU CAN'T PUBLISH THAT!

THAT KIND OF STUFF WILL END UP ON MY PERMANENT RECORD!

OH, JOHNNY, DON'T WORRY.

THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO READ THIS

SUBSCRIBE TO MEDICAL JOURNALS...

OR HAVE THE INTERNET.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

I SAW A BUTTERFLY IN THE INK!

IT'S A BUTTERFLY!

WELCOME TO YOUR NEW OFFICE.

IT ISN'T MUCH, BUT... WELL, IT ISN'T MUCH.

HOW'D IT GO?

OH, JUST LIKE I SAID.

HERE'S YOUR CHECK, MINUS MY HALF.

THANK YOU.

AND I THINK YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT BELONGS TO ME.

OH, YEAH. THANKS FOR THE CHAIR.

UH, YOU KNOW, THE RIGHT WHEEL STICKS A BIT.

IT PINCHED MY THUMB.

SO SUE ME.

OH, SHARON, YOU CAN USE THAT CHAIR,

AND I'LL GET YOU A DESK LATER.

MR. BRESLIN, I'M NOT QUITE SURE HOW TO SAY THIS, BUT, UH,

I DON'T THINK THIS JOB IS FOR ME.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU CAN GET A LOT OF PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE.

HELL, I'LL EVEN LET YOU DO LEGAL WORK,

WHICH IS TECHNICALLY ILLEGAL.

NO, SIR, I'M QUITTING BECAUSE I THINK

YOU'RE THE WORLD'S WORST LAWYER.

SHARON, I DO NOT CHOOSE MY CLIENTS.

YES, BUT YOU HELP THEM BREAK THE LAW.

BEND. BEND. THAT'S WHAT WE LAWYERS DO.

NOT THIS LAWYER.

OH, SHARON, DON'T BE SO NAIVE.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIRST STARTED PRACTICE,

IT WAS TO DEFEND THE RIGHTS

OF THOSE WHO COULD NOT DEFEND THEMSELVES,

AND YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE THEY WERE GUILTY AS SIN.

SO I DECIDED

THAT IF I'M GOING TO REPRESENT SCUM,

I MIGHT AS WELL REPRESENT SCUM WHO CAN PAY ME.

OH, OKAY, SO YOU JUST GAVE UP.

NO, I WISED UP, AND YOU WILL, TOO, SOMEDAY.

I-I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, SIR.

OH, NOW YOU SOUND JUST LIKE MY SON.

HE'S A JUDGE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? OKAY, I MIGHT BE NAIVE,

BUT AT LEAST I NEVER STOP TRYING.

WELL, I KNEW THAT THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU.

WELL, GOODBYE.

GOODBYE.

OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GETS ME?

HERE I AM ACCUSING YOU OF BEING A QUITTER,

AND THEN I GO AND QUIT.

HYPOCRITE.

WELL, I AM NOT QUITTING.

I AM STICKING AROUND UNTIL YOU CLEAN UP YOUR ACT.

BY THE TIME I AM FINISHED WITH YOU,

YOU WILL HAVE A RESPECTABLE LAW PRACTICE.

YEAH? WELL, THAT'S ASSUMING THAT I HIRE YOU.

TOO LATE. I'M HIRED,

BUT I'M EXPENSIVE, SO LET ME SEE YOUR BOOKS.

OKAY.

I GOT TWO SETS.

WHICH ONE WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE?

PETE, I AM SO SORRY.

I COULDN'T FIND IT.

YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS.

I CHECKED THE CAB COMPANY, THE POLICE, EVERYWHERE.

I, UH, I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR FINGER IS.

I, UH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

I-I'M SORRY. I LOST IT.

ISN'T THAT FUNNY? WE BOTH LOST A FINGER TODAY.

YOU IDIOT!

I'M... I CAN GET YOU A TOE.

CAN YOU EVER... EVER FORGIVE ME?

WAIT, YOU WOULDN'T FORGIVE ME FOR BEING WITH YOUR MOTHER?

YOU SEE, HERE'S THE THING...

YOU STILL HAVE YOUR MOTHER.

ALL I HAVE IS A BLOODY NUB.

OKAY, LOOK, OBVIOUSLY, PETE...

OH, WAIT, WHAT,

YOU'RE GOING TO SAY SOMETHING NOW

TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT NOT HAVING A FINGER?

OH, WELL, THIS SHOULD BE GOOD.

I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR IT. OKAY, BERG, GO.

OKAY, I SEE YOUR POINT.

AND?

AND I FORGIVE YOU FOR SEEING MY MOTHER.

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY.

WAS THAT THAT HARD?

DO YOU FORGIVE ME FOR LOSING YOUR FINGER?

NO.

SEE, IT JUST SO HAPPENS YOU DIDN'T LOSE MY FINGER.

THEY SEWED IT ON WHILE YOU WERE GONE.

AND I GOT A SUCKER.

WHAT? I THOUGHT I LEFT IT IN THE CAB.

YOU DID, BUT I GRABBED IT BEFORE YOU NOTICED.

SEE, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS CHECK A CAB FOR YOUR BELONGINGS

BEFORE YOU GET OUT.

HOLD IT.

YOU MADE ME GO THROUGH ALL THIS FOR NOTHING?

NO, NO, NOT FOR NOTHING.

YOU HAD TO BE TAUGHT THE LESSON OF FORGIVENESS.

I TAKE IT BACK. YOU CAN'T.

IT'S ALREADY OUT THERE. I ALREADY ACCEPTED IT.

OH, YEAH?

WELL, THOSE STITCHES ARE STILL FRESH, YOU KNOW.

ONE LITTLE TUG

AND THAT LITTLE PIGGY COMES RIGHT OFF!

HEY, THANKS FOR THE KNIFE, MAN.

YOU KNOW, YOU WERE RIGHT.

ALL I NEEDED WAS A HOBBY TO TAKE MY MIND OFF MY FINGER.

IT GETS A LITTLE SLIPPERY FROM THE SOAP.

YOU KNOW, I THINK WE BOTH LEARNED

A PRETTY VALUABLE LESSON ABOUT SAFETY HERE.

DAMN, THIS STUPID THING IS STUCK AGAIN.

BERG, DON'T PUT YOUR FINGERS IN THERE.

HERE... USE MY KNIFE.

THANKS.

THERE WE GO.

HEY, YOU WANT TO MAKE A CHOPPED SALAD?

YEAH, RIGHT. WHAT, ARE WE BOTH IDIOTS?

HERE'S YOUR KNIFE BACK, BUDDY.

THANKS.

AAH! JUST KIDDING.