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1
00:00:49,101 --> 00:00:50,352
All right. All set?
2
00:00:50,394 --> 00:00:51,562
Right.
Yes, sir.
3
00:00:51,604 --> 00:00:53,189
Now you know
what you're looking for.
4
00:00:53,230 --> 00:00:54,773
Avoid the patrols.
5
00:00:54,815 --> 00:00:57,151
In exactly 13 minutes,
you'll rendezvous with a guide
6
00:00:57,151 --> 00:00:58,360
from the underground.
7
00:00:58,402 --> 00:00:59,653
Her name is Lili.
8
00:00:59,653 --> 00:01:01,530
Lili? Joli fille.
9
00:01:01,572 --> 00:01:02,907
All of a sudden,
he's alert.
10
00:01:02,948 --> 00:01:04,116
Well, it's been
a long time,
11
00:01:04,158 --> 00:01:05,284
especially
for a Frenchman.
12
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:06,494
Take him
away.
13
00:01:06,494 --> 00:01:08,162
Come on.
14
00:01:08,204 --> 00:01:09,371
Good luck.
15
00:01:09,413 --> 00:01:10,664
Right.
16
00:01:53,749 --> 00:01:55,960
Lili?
17
00:01:56,001 --> 00:01:57,294
Yes.
I'm Kinchloe.
18
00:01:57,336 --> 00:01:58,712
This is Carter.
And I'm LeBeau.
19
00:01:58,712 --> 00:01:59,880
Hi.
How are you?
20
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:01,048
You must
be quiet.
21
00:02:01,048 --> 00:02:02,883
Follow me.
22
00:02:02,925 --> 00:02:04,885
To the ends
of the earth.
23
00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:19,817
Just beyond the trees.
24
00:02:21,735 --> 00:02:24,405
Yeah, that's a radio
tower, all right.
25
00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:27,032
And that looks like
some kind of control unit.
26
00:02:27,074 --> 00:02:28,575
Yeah. They moved
it through the town
27
00:02:28,575 --> 00:02:29,743
early this morning.
28
00:02:29,785 --> 00:02:32,579
The tower has been completed
several days.
29
00:02:32,621 --> 00:02:34,081
Boy, that's quite a structure.
30
00:02:34,081 --> 00:02:35,457
Yes.
31
00:02:35,499 --> 00:02:37,960
I like it better
than the Eiffel Tower.
32
00:02:38,002 --> 00:02:39,253
Our underground reported
33
00:02:39,294 --> 00:02:41,213
a courier carried
some dispatches
34
00:02:41,255 --> 00:02:43,424
from the tower
to your commandant.
35
00:02:43,465 --> 00:02:45,759
We'll notify
Colonel Hogan.
36
00:02:45,759 --> 00:02:47,761
You finished,
Carter?
37
00:02:47,761 --> 00:02:48,887
Yeah.
38
00:02:48,929 --> 00:02:50,097
Okay, let's get
back to camp.
39
00:02:50,139 --> 00:02:51,265
Uh, you guys run along.
40
00:02:51,306 --> 00:02:52,933
Lili and I will do
some more exploring.
41
00:02:52,975 --> 00:02:54,476
I must leave now.
42
00:02:54,518 --> 00:02:56,562
My father
will be worried.
43
00:02:56,603 --> 00:02:58,188
Good-bye.
44
00:02:58,230 --> 00:02:59,690
Uh, Lili!
45
00:02:59,732 --> 00:03:01,066
Mon ami,
46
00:03:01,108 --> 00:03:03,318
you still wish to do a
little exploring, huh?
47
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,320
Well, I hope the next war
will be friendlier
48
00:03:05,362 --> 00:03:07,281
than this one.
49
00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:19,960
There's nobody
in Klink's office.
50
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,420
If Klink received any
important information
51
00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:23,422
from the courier,
it'll be in the safe.
52
00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:25,007
Look for an envelope
marked "Top Secret."
53
00:03:25,048 --> 00:03:26,091
Right.
54
00:03:26,133 --> 00:03:27,134
Go find Lightfingers
Newkirk
55
00:03:27,134 --> 00:03:28,302
and get in there. Okay.
56
00:03:28,302 --> 00:03:29,636
How do you figure it, Colonel?
57
00:03:29,678 --> 00:03:31,430
I don't know. Either it's
a transmitting station,
58
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:33,390
or receiving, or both.
59
00:03:33,432 --> 00:03:34,975
Oh, well,
it's pretty close to camp.
60
00:03:34,975 --> 00:03:36,935
We made a big detour
to stay undercover,
61
00:03:36,977 --> 00:03:38,520
but it's right over that hill.
62
00:03:38,562 --> 00:03:40,773
Why'd the Krauts put it there
all of a sudden?
63
00:03:40,814 --> 00:03:41,940
We gonna
blow it up?
64
00:03:41,982 --> 00:03:43,484
It's nice to know
what something is
65
00:03:43,525 --> 00:03:44,485
before you destroy it, Carter.
66
00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:45,652
Why?
67
00:03:45,652 --> 00:03:47,154
Well, I mean,
after the war,
68
00:03:47,154 --> 00:03:50,240
you can tell your children
we blew up a this or a that.
69
00:03:50,282 --> 00:03:51,408
Children? I'm
not even married.
70
00:03:51,450 --> 00:03:52,659
Don't worry, Carter.
71
00:03:52,701 --> 00:03:54,745
Somewhere there's a wife,
even for you.
72
00:04:03,086 --> 00:04:04,546
Hurry it up, will you?
Vite!
73
00:04:04,588 --> 00:04:06,507
Stop your
narrating, will you?
74
00:04:06,548 --> 00:04:08,842
I can't listen to you
and the tumblers.
75
00:04:12,179 --> 00:04:14,056
A-ha. There we are.
76
00:04:14,097 --> 00:04:16,225
Ah, marvelous
fingers, these.
77
00:04:16,266 --> 00:04:17,893
Got ears of their own.
78
00:04:17,935 --> 00:04:19,853
Will you stop admiring
yourself and start looking?
79
00:04:19,853 --> 00:04:22,189
Oh, we are jumpy
today, aren't we?
80
00:04:22,189 --> 00:04:24,358
Wait, hello.
81
00:04:24,358 --> 00:04:26,693
"Luftwaffe Code Book."
Top Secret.
82
00:04:26,735 --> 00:04:28,529
Ah, we've got a copy of that.
83
00:04:31,073 --> 00:04:33,659
"Prisoner of War
Regulations."
84
00:04:35,369 --> 00:04:37,746
I like a camp that's
run by the book.
85
00:04:37,788 --> 00:04:39,331
Hey, hey, look out.
86
00:04:39,373 --> 00:04:40,874
This looks a
bit official.
87
00:04:40,874 --> 00:04:43,460
Yeah, official, all right.
88
00:04:43,502 --> 00:04:45,712
Postcards from Paris.
89
00:04:45,712 --> 00:04:47,381
Ooh, blimey.
90
00:04:47,422 --> 00:04:49,341
And no views
of the Eiffel Tower.
91
00:04:49,383 --> 00:04:51,051
Hey, I think
we ought to, uh,
92
00:04:51,093 --> 00:04:53,303
visit Klink's safe
a bit more often.
93
00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:01,979
What's going on in here?
94
00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:04,648
We were just robbing
the commandant's safe, Schultz.
95
00:05:04,690 --> 00:05:06,316
Jolly joker.
96
00:05:06,358 --> 00:05:07,651
He never believes
anything.
97
00:05:07,693 --> 00:05:09,152
I'm asking you again.
98
00:05:09,194 --> 00:05:11,571
What are you doing in here?
99
00:05:11,613 --> 00:05:12,739
Cleaning the office.
100
00:05:12,739 --> 00:05:13,991
Who told you to?
101
00:05:14,032 --> 00:05:15,200
You did yesterday.
102
00:05:15,242 --> 00:05:17,244
Impossible.
I was off duty.
103
00:05:17,286 --> 00:05:18,578
Uh, the day before?
104
00:05:18,578 --> 00:05:19,955
Impossible.
105
00:05:19,997 --> 00:05:22,416
I was on duty
but sleeping.
106
00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:24,918
What's the
difference?
107
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,586
We're here and
doing a great job.
108
00:05:26,586 --> 00:05:28,505
Also impossible.
109
00:05:28,547 --> 00:05:32,217
There is some monkey business
going on here.
110
00:05:32,259 --> 00:05:34,177
You know, Schultz,
as a people,
111
00:05:34,219 --> 00:05:36,513
you Germans are
terribly suspicious.
112
00:05:36,555 --> 00:05:38,557
You want me
to believe you?
113
00:05:38,598 --> 00:05:40,225
He's got a point there.
114
00:05:40,267 --> 00:05:43,270
Now I know
that I did not ask you
115
00:05:43,270 --> 00:05:44,730
to clean this room.
116
00:05:44,771 --> 00:05:46,106
Oh, then it
must have been
117
00:05:46,106 --> 00:05:47,399
Corporal Nick
in charge.
118
00:05:47,441 --> 00:05:49,109
Yeah, that's right,
it must have been...
119
00:05:49,109 --> 00:05:50,277
Achtung!
120
00:05:50,318 --> 00:05:52,404
Schultz, what's going on here?
121
00:05:52,446 --> 00:05:53,572
Herr Kommandant,
122
00:05:53,613 --> 00:05:55,073
they are cleaning
the office.
123
00:05:55,115 --> 00:05:56,283
I told them
to do it.
124
00:05:56,324 --> 00:05:57,868
Get these men
out of here at once!
125
00:05:57,909 --> 00:05:59,161
Jawohl, Herr
Kommandant.
126
00:05:59,202 --> 00:06:00,746
Raus! Everybody,
out, out, out, out,
127
00:06:00,787 --> 00:06:01,788
out, out,
out, out.
128
00:06:01,913 --> 00:06:03,040
Mach schnell!
129
00:06:03,081 --> 00:06:04,666
Hurry, hurry!
130
00:06:04,708 --> 00:06:05,834
Raus...
131
00:06:05,876 --> 00:06:07,002
Oh, Schultz,
Schultz?
132
00:06:07,044 --> 00:06:08,462
Double the guards
at all the exits.
133
00:06:08,503 --> 00:06:09,921
No one is allowed
in this building
134
00:06:09,963 --> 00:06:11,089
for one hour.
135
00:06:11,131 --> 00:06:12,340
Jawohl, Herr Commandant.
136
00:06:12,382 --> 00:06:14,051
General Burkhalter
will have a conference
137
00:06:14,092 --> 00:06:15,844
with Captain Berger
and myself, understood?
138
00:06:15,886 --> 00:06:17,012
Understood, Herr Kommandant.
139
00:06:17,054 --> 00:06:18,263
Out!
Out! Out...!
140
00:06:18,305 --> 00:06:19,514
Get out of my sight...
141
00:06:19,556 --> 00:06:20,474
Right.
142
00:06:22,225 --> 00:06:24,186
Now, uh, before we start, uh,
143
00:06:24,227 --> 00:06:26,646
shall we have a little
refreshment, Herr General?
144
00:06:26,688 --> 00:06:28,315
I don't want
anything.
145
00:06:28,315 --> 00:06:29,816
Neither does
Berger.
146
00:06:29,858 --> 00:06:31,318
Well, I'll just have
a little...
147
00:06:31,359 --> 00:06:32,736
Neither do you.
148
00:06:32,778 --> 00:06:33,779
That's right, I don't.
149
00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:35,030
I just thought I did.
150
00:06:35,071 --> 00:06:38,325
Now, Klink, this
matter is top secret.
151
00:06:38,366 --> 00:06:40,368
General Burkhalter,
I assure you
152
00:06:40,410 --> 00:06:42,871
that this room
is absolutely secure.
153
00:06:42,913 --> 00:06:45,123
Nobody can hear a single word.
154
00:06:45,165 --> 00:06:46,917
Nobody.
155
00:06:49,044 --> 00:06:50,295
We're nobody, aren't we?
156
00:06:50,337 --> 00:06:51,671
Nobody.
Nobody.
157
00:06:51,713 --> 00:06:53,256
We promise not
to tell a soul, right?
158
00:06:53,298 --> 00:06:54,424
Right.
Right.
159
00:06:54,466 --> 00:06:55,842
Satisfied?
I am.
160
00:06:55,884 --> 00:06:57,844
That's good enough for me.
161
00:06:57,886 --> 00:07:00,180
Do you have the
papers and the map?
162
00:07:00,222 --> 00:07:01,515
Yes, sir.
163
00:07:01,515 --> 00:07:02,724
I have it right here.
164
00:07:02,766 --> 00:07:05,185
I have kept it with me
all this time.
165
00:07:05,185 --> 00:07:06,853
I can assure,
Herr General,
166
00:07:06,853 --> 00:07:10,357
we have needed something
like this for a long time.
167
00:07:10,357 --> 00:07:12,526
Something like what?
168
00:07:12,526 --> 00:07:13,819
Whatever it is.
169
00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:16,154
Like me to explain it to him,
Herr General?
170
00:07:16,196 --> 00:07:18,657
You may have to
use baby talk.
171
00:07:18,698 --> 00:07:20,075
Carry on.
172
00:07:20,116 --> 00:07:21,368
Colonel Klink,
173
00:07:21,409 --> 00:07:23,370
this is a type
of radio station
174
00:07:23,411 --> 00:07:26,081
that can send information
to our fighter squadrons
175
00:07:26,122 --> 00:07:27,415
earlier than before
176
00:07:27,457 --> 00:07:29,209
so that they may get
into the air
177
00:07:29,209 --> 00:07:32,879
and knock down
some enemy bombers much quicker.
178
00:07:32,921 --> 00:07:34,256
I'm all for that.
179
00:07:34,297 --> 00:07:35,549
I'm glad.
180
00:07:35,590 --> 00:07:37,008
Thank you, sir.
181
00:07:37,050 --> 00:07:40,470
Now, may I ask, how do I fit
into this operation?
182
00:07:40,512 --> 00:07:42,264
Well, fortunately,
183
00:07:42,305 --> 00:07:44,724
the ideal location
for this is here,
184
00:07:44,724 --> 00:07:46,393
right close to Stalag 13.
185
00:07:46,518 --> 00:07:47,978
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
186
00:07:48,019 --> 00:07:50,313
The enemy will not bomb it,
because even a near miss,
187
00:07:50,355 --> 00:07:52,357
they might kill some
of their own men here.
188
00:07:52,399 --> 00:07:55,318
It is relatively safe
from enemy bombing,
189
00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,696
but there is the
problem of sabotage.
190
00:07:57,737 --> 00:07:59,030
That's where
you come in.
191
00:07:59,072 --> 00:08:00,740
General Burkhalter,
I assure you
192
00:08:00,782 --> 00:08:02,617
I would never sabotage
our own men.
193
00:08:02,659 --> 00:08:04,160
I am placing
you in command
194
00:08:04,202 --> 00:08:07,497
of all security measures
for the radio station.
195
00:08:07,539 --> 00:08:08,957
Your men will guard it.
196
00:08:08,999 --> 00:08:10,250
You can depend on me, sir.
197
00:08:10,292 --> 00:08:12,919
And I will hold you
personally responsible
198
00:08:12,961 --> 00:08:14,421
if anything goes wrong.
199
00:08:14,462 --> 00:08:15,589
Rest easy.
200
00:08:15,630 --> 00:08:16,840
Put it out of your mind.
201
00:08:16,881 --> 00:08:19,050
We have great experience
in such matters.
202
00:08:19,092 --> 00:08:20,343
You see,
we've never had
203
00:08:20,385 --> 00:08:21,886
a successful escape
from Stalag 13.
204
00:08:21,928 --> 00:08:24,681
But if there is
the slightest difficulty,
205
00:08:24,723 --> 00:08:27,392
there will be one.
Sir?
206
00:08:27,434 --> 00:08:31,271
I will arrange for you
to escape from Stalag 13...
207
00:08:31,313 --> 00:08:32,480
to the Russian front.
208
00:08:34,065 --> 00:08:36,443
Disguised as a private
in the infantry.
209
00:08:39,612 --> 00:08:41,114
An advance warning system.
210
00:08:41,114 --> 00:08:42,115
Murder.
211
00:08:42,115 --> 00:08:43,283
Exactly.
212
00:08:43,283 --> 00:08:44,826
Krauts could knock down
more bombers
213
00:08:44,868 --> 00:08:46,036
than we could send over.
214
00:08:46,077 --> 00:08:47,329
Well, let's blow it up.
215
00:08:47,370 --> 00:08:49,372
Sure. We blow it up,
Klink takes the rap
216
00:08:49,414 --> 00:08:50,999
and gets sent
to the Russian front.
217
00:08:51,041 --> 00:08:53,251
Well, it couldn't happen
to a nicer guy.
218
00:08:53,293 --> 00:08:55,962
We get a new commandant
who puts us out of business.
219
00:08:56,004 --> 00:08:58,673
We got to blow it up
and protect Klink, too.
220
00:08:58,715 --> 00:08:59,674
Burkhalter's the man.
221
00:08:59,716 --> 00:09:00,675
His orders count.
222
00:09:00,717 --> 00:09:01,593
What are Burkhalter's
weaknesses?
223
00:09:03,345 --> 00:09:04,637
And Wienerschnitzel.
224
00:09:04,637 --> 00:09:06,097
And frauleins.
What good is that?
225
00:09:06,139 --> 00:09:07,182
That's everybody's
weakness.
226
00:09:07,223 --> 00:09:08,641
I just thought
I'd mention it.
227
00:09:08,641 --> 00:09:10,185
Well...
Hold it, hold it.
228
00:09:10,393 --> 00:09:11,811
That's it.
229
00:09:11,853 --> 00:09:13,480
We get at Burkhalter
through a fraulein.
230
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,148
Kinch, get a message
to the underground.
231
00:09:15,148 --> 00:09:16,983
I want to talk
to the girl, Lili.
232
00:09:16,983 --> 00:09:18,026
All right,
Colonel.
233
00:09:18,068 --> 00:09:20,195
LeBeau, you go out
and bring her in
234
00:09:20,236 --> 00:09:21,279
through the emergency tunnel.
235
00:09:21,321 --> 00:09:22,363
Yes, Colonel.
236
00:09:22,405 --> 00:09:23,740
He made a pass
at her.
237
00:09:23,782 --> 00:09:25,408
Who made a
pass at her?
238
00:09:25,450 --> 00:09:26,951
LeBeau, but it didn't work.
239
00:09:26,993 --> 00:09:27,952
Good.
240
00:09:27,994 --> 00:09:30,413
It means she's also got brains.
241
00:09:49,265 --> 00:09:52,060
Write a letter to a German
officer, me?
242
00:09:52,102 --> 00:09:53,686
That's right, a fan letter.
243
00:09:53,728 --> 00:09:55,188
I'd rather die first.
244
00:09:55,188 --> 00:09:57,315
A lot of the guys
flying the bombers
245
00:09:57,357 --> 00:09:58,691
just might
if you don't.
246
00:09:58,733 --> 00:10:00,068
Colonel, I don't
understand your plan.
247
00:10:00,109 --> 00:10:01,402
You will.
248
00:10:01,444 --> 00:10:02,695
We get to Burkhalter
through Klink.
249
00:10:02,695 --> 00:10:04,364
This is the first step.
250
00:10:04,405 --> 00:10:06,533
He might take
the letter seriously.
251
00:10:06,574 --> 00:10:07,951
Then we're halfway home.
252
00:10:07,992 --> 00:10:09,994
Look, I volunteered
to work in the underground.
253
00:10:10,036 --> 00:10:12,789
I have cheated, stolen, lied
for the cause I believe in...
254
00:10:12,831 --> 00:10:15,083
And now we're offering
a chance to put out
255
00:10:15,124 --> 00:10:17,043
the biggest lie
of them all.
256
00:10:17,043 --> 00:10:20,171
You write and tell Klink
what a great guy he is.
257
00:10:20,213 --> 00:10:24,342
You want to build
a bowling alley?
258
00:10:24,384 --> 00:10:25,510
In the rec hall, sir.
259
00:10:25,552 --> 00:10:26,886
The Red Cross will
supply the equipment,
260
00:10:26,928 --> 00:10:29,097
if you give your permission
and have tools issued to us.
261
00:10:29,138 --> 00:10:32,892
And you expect that that's
necessary for morale?
262
00:10:32,892 --> 00:10:35,603
Commandant, it's inspiring
the way you grasp these things.
263
00:10:35,645 --> 00:10:38,898
So, you want me
to issue tools to your men?
264
00:10:38,940 --> 00:10:41,734
That means you will start out
by building a bowling alley
265
00:10:41,734 --> 00:10:44,654
and wind up
digging tunnels.
266
00:10:44,696 --> 00:10:46,281
You have my word
as an officer
267
00:10:46,322 --> 00:10:47,282
there will be no...
268
00:10:47,323 --> 00:10:48,700
Permission denied.
Dismissed.
269
00:10:48,741 --> 00:10:50,410
What harm can a
bowling alley possibly do?
270
00:10:50,451 --> 00:10:51,911
Hogan,
I said dismissed.
271
00:10:51,953 --> 00:10:53,288
Thanks a lot.
272
00:10:53,329 --> 00:10:55,123
You're a great
humanitarian.
273
00:10:55,164 --> 00:10:56,541
Uh, Hogan, just a moment.
274
00:10:56,583 --> 00:10:59,752
So, you really think
I'm a monster, don't you?
275
00:10:59,752 --> 00:11:00,753
Not just a monster, sir.
276
00:11:01,254 --> 00:11:02,297
You're a genius at it.
277
00:11:02,338 --> 00:11:03,798
Insolence.
278
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,383
Not bad at that, either.
279
00:11:05,425 --> 00:11:07,885
There are some people
who don't agree with you.
280
00:11:07,927 --> 00:11:10,096
People who think
I'm not so bad after all.
281
00:11:10,138 --> 00:11:12,181
There are all kind of nuts
in this world.
282
00:11:12,223 --> 00:11:15,393
I, uh, received a letter
from a lady in town.
283
00:11:15,435 --> 00:11:16,769
She doesn't even know me.
284
00:11:16,811 --> 00:11:18,771
She, uh, has
great admiration for me.
285
00:11:18,813 --> 00:11:20,398
I don't believe it.
286
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:22,108
"Dear Colonel Klink,
287
00:11:22,108 --> 00:11:23,359
"I shouldn't be writing
to you
288
00:11:23,401 --> 00:11:25,612
"because we have never
been properly introduced,
289
00:11:25,612 --> 00:11:28,573
"but I have seen you in town
many times
290
00:11:28,615 --> 00:11:30,533
"and admired you
at a distance.
291
00:11:30,575 --> 00:11:32,577
"I have also heard
from many people
292
00:11:32,619 --> 00:11:36,789
"that you are a fine officer
and a credit to the Fatherland.
293
00:11:36,831 --> 00:11:39,042
"I hope we can meet
sometime in the future.
294
00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:40,877
Sincerely,
Fraulein Weske."
295
00:11:40,918 --> 00:11:42,754
Oh, "P.S. Heil Hitler."
296
00:11:42,795 --> 00:11:44,922
It's a very romantic
touch at the end.
297
00:11:44,964 --> 00:11:46,341
That's not your
own handwriting?
298
00:11:46,382 --> 00:11:48,092
Of course not.
299
00:11:48,134 --> 00:11:50,303
Ah, it's probably
some old maid battle-ax.
300
00:11:50,345 --> 00:11:53,514
I have also made
some discreet telephone calls,
301
00:11:53,556 --> 00:11:56,017
and it so happens
that Fräulein Weske
302
00:11:56,059 --> 00:11:58,728
is a very intelligent
and attractive girl.
303
00:11:58,770 --> 00:11:59,979
Maybe I'm wrong, then.
304
00:12:00,021 --> 00:12:01,939
Women have an instinct
about things like this.
305
00:12:01,981 --> 00:12:03,900
At least
you're man enough to admit it.
306
00:12:03,941 --> 00:12:05,526
Well, now, I suppose,
you're going to invite her here
307
00:12:05,568 --> 00:12:06,569
for a little intimate dinner?
308
00:12:06,611 --> 00:12:08,446
No, I hadn't thought I...
309
00:12:08,488 --> 00:12:10,239
You'll also invite Burkhalter
so you can show off.
310
00:12:10,281 --> 00:12:11,366
Burkhalter?
311
00:12:11,407 --> 00:12:12,742
Well, don't think I'm going
312
00:12:12,784 --> 00:12:14,494
to ask Corporal LeBeau
to cook you
313
00:12:14,494 --> 00:12:15,828
a real French dinner.
No, no, no.
314
00:12:15,828 --> 00:12:17,914
Unless you give us
an extra hour of electricity.
315
00:12:17,955 --> 00:12:19,999
I'll do it.
316
00:12:21,959 --> 00:12:23,669
I got to hand it to you.
317
00:12:23,711 --> 00:12:24,587
What do you mean, Hogan?
318
00:12:24,629 --> 00:12:26,297
When it comes to the ladies,
319
00:12:26,339 --> 00:12:27,715
you sure move fast.
320
00:12:35,723 --> 00:12:36,849
That's marvelous.
321
00:12:36,891 --> 00:12:39,477
A pleasant evening
with a pleasant company.
322
00:12:39,519 --> 00:12:40,520
Oh...
323
00:12:40,561 --> 00:12:42,021
Prosit.
Prosit.
324
00:12:42,021 --> 00:12:44,023
Mm, wonderful.
325
00:12:44,023 --> 00:12:45,608
Now, may I propose
a toast?
326
00:12:45,650 --> 00:12:48,528
To strong men
and weak women.
327
00:12:48,569 --> 00:12:51,656
The Colonel is so
clever at parties.
328
00:12:51,697 --> 00:12:54,033
Shall we sit down?
329
00:12:54,075 --> 00:12:55,535
Yes, sir.
Fräulein.
330
00:13:05,878 --> 00:13:07,088
Any action?
331
00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:08,214
We can't get started
332
00:13:08,214 --> 00:13:09,799
until you get rid of
Schultz... do something.
333
00:13:09,841 --> 00:13:10,550
Oui, right away.
334
00:13:13,803 --> 00:13:15,346
Hey, Schultzy. Look.
335
00:13:15,388 --> 00:13:16,389
Come on, come on.
336
00:13:16,430 --> 00:13:17,682
Mm...
337
00:13:17,723 --> 00:13:19,767
Come on,
it's delicious.
338
00:13:19,809 --> 00:13:21,060
Come on.
339
00:13:23,729 --> 00:13:25,064
Mm...
340
00:13:25,064 --> 00:13:25,731
Good, huh?
341
00:13:26,065 --> 00:13:28,067
Mm...
342
00:13:44,834 --> 00:13:48,004
And when Colonel
Klink invited me here,
343
00:13:48,045 --> 00:13:51,048
why, I had no idea
I would be meeting a general.
344
00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:54,427
Well, that's one of
our little surprises.
345
00:13:54,468 --> 00:13:55,970
A little surprise,
Klink?
346
00:13:56,012 --> 00:13:58,472
No, sir, a big one,
a very... a big one.
347
00:13:58,514 --> 00:14:00,266
And a very
nice one, too.
348
00:14:00,266 --> 00:14:01,434
Thank you.
349
00:14:01,434 --> 00:14:04,312
And may I say, Fräulein,
that meeting you
350
00:14:04,353 --> 00:14:06,647
has been
one of the nicest things
351
00:14:06,689 --> 00:14:09,233
that has happened to me
in this war.
352
00:14:09,275 --> 00:14:10,693
Oh, General!
353
00:14:10,735 --> 00:14:13,779
What a sweet
thing to say.
354
00:14:13,779 --> 00:14:16,324
I could just kiss you.
355
00:14:16,365 --> 00:14:17,867
You could?
356
00:14:17,992 --> 00:14:21,454
Well, why not?
357
00:14:22,705 --> 00:14:24,123
Mmm.
358
00:14:24,165 --> 00:14:26,500
You see
what can happen to you
359
00:14:26,542 --> 00:14:28,836
when you are a general,
Klink?
360
00:14:28,878 --> 00:14:31,631
Well, sir, I have something
to look forward to.
361
00:14:31,631 --> 00:14:33,424
Maybe in the next war.
362
00:14:34,842 --> 00:14:36,218
I guess it's all right
363
00:14:36,260 --> 00:14:37,887
for me to be
here with you.
364
00:14:37,928 --> 00:14:40,056
I can always say
I am guarding you.
365
00:14:40,097 --> 00:14:42,308
And you're doing
a good job, Schultz.
366
00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:43,976
You want
some more chicken?
367
00:14:44,018 --> 00:14:45,645
Oh, ja!
368
00:14:45,686 --> 00:14:47,313
Danke.
369
00:14:47,313 --> 00:14:48,856
You're welcome.
370
00:14:48,898 --> 00:14:51,484
Guard duty
is such hard work.
371
00:14:53,903 --> 00:14:56,030
And Iassigned
Colonel Klink
372
00:14:56,072 --> 00:14:58,699
to be the security
officer in this area.
373
00:14:58,741 --> 00:15:01,494
I'm sure he'll do
a very good job for you.
374
00:15:01,535 --> 00:15:03,037
He better.
375
00:15:03,079 --> 00:15:05,373
More champagne all around.
376
00:15:05,414 --> 00:15:07,249
Champagne all around.
377
00:15:07,291 --> 00:15:09,210
Yes, sir.
378
00:15:09,251 --> 00:15:10,586
Yes, ma'am.
379
00:15:10,628 --> 00:15:11,837
Here you are, sir.
380
00:15:11,837 --> 00:15:13,923
Thank you.
381
00:15:13,964 --> 00:15:15,007
Dinner's almost ready.
382
00:15:17,218 --> 00:15:18,594
Oh, you fool!
383
00:15:18,636 --> 00:15:21,097
I apologize, Herr
General, I apologize.
384
00:15:21,138 --> 00:15:22,598
Please allow me.
385
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,183
Thank you, Fraulein.
386
00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:25,393
Oh...
387
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,897
Mmm...
388
00:15:29,939 --> 00:15:32,525
I hope the big shots
are enjoying themselves.
389
00:15:32,525 --> 00:15:35,069
You're doing
pretty good yourself, Schultzy.
390
00:15:35,111 --> 00:15:37,196
Why don't they invite
me to a party?
391
00:15:37,196 --> 00:15:39,281
Schultz, if you
were giving a party,
392
00:15:39,323 --> 00:15:42,284
would you invite you?
393
00:15:42,326 --> 00:15:43,411
Mmm, et voila.
394
00:15:43,452 --> 00:15:44,745
Your dinner is ready.
395
00:15:44,787 --> 00:15:46,205
Go ahead, announce it.
396
00:15:46,205 --> 00:15:47,498
Okay.
397
00:15:50,042 --> 00:15:54,505
Would I invite me? No.
398
00:15:54,547 --> 00:15:56,715
Huh. Why should I?
399
00:15:56,715 --> 00:15:59,135
Herr Kommandant...
Yes, yes?
400
00:15:59,176 --> 00:16:00,302
Dinner is served!
401
00:16:00,344 --> 00:16:01,554
Thank you, Schultz.
402
00:16:01,554 --> 00:16:03,556
Fräulein, General, shall we?
403
00:16:03,597 --> 00:16:04,890
Oh!
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
404
00:16:05,015 --> 00:16:06,058
Oh, I'm sorry.
405
00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:07,560
My foot went to sleep.
406
00:16:07,601 --> 00:16:09,436
Oh, my dear,
may I help you?
407
00:16:09,478 --> 00:16:11,522
I have the situation
well in hand.
408
00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:16,402
I feel much better.
409
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:18,195
Oh, that's good.
Excuse me, Schultz.
410
00:16:18,237 --> 00:16:20,072
I've got to get
these glasses out of...
411
00:16:20,114 --> 00:16:23,159
Oh, yes.
412
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,286
Much better.
413
00:16:25,327 --> 00:16:27,037
Uh, shall we, shall we?
414
00:16:27,079 --> 00:16:28,581
Uh, please, allow me.
415
00:16:28,622 --> 00:16:30,082
May I?
416
00:16:30,124 --> 00:16:31,584
There. Well,
here we are,
417
00:16:31,625 --> 00:16:33,460
the three of us
having dinner.
418
00:16:33,502 --> 00:16:35,171
Everything looks so pretty,
419
00:16:35,212 --> 00:16:37,339
it's a shame
we didn't get a chance
420
00:16:37,381 --> 00:16:39,383
to take some pictures.
421
00:16:42,094 --> 00:16:43,345
Very good.
422
00:16:43,387 --> 00:16:45,764
Looks like fun and games
in Klink's quarters.
423
00:16:45,764 --> 00:16:48,434
Ha. Get a load of the expression
424
00:16:48,434 --> 00:16:50,686
on Burkhalter's face
in this one.
425
00:16:50,728 --> 00:16:52,813
And with him, you can't tell
426
00:16:52,855 --> 00:16:54,857
whether it's love
or indigestion.
427
00:16:54,899 --> 00:16:56,400
What's our next
move, Colonel?
428
00:16:56,442 --> 00:16:58,777
Tonight, we'll go out
and blow up that tower.
429
00:16:58,819 --> 00:17:00,237
And then?
430
00:17:00,279 --> 00:17:02,615
Immediately following that,
we'll blow up Burkhalter.
431
00:17:02,656 --> 00:17:03,866
Just like that, huh?
432
00:17:03,908 --> 00:17:06,118
Let's just say it's
double or nothing.
433
00:17:20,716 --> 00:17:22,301
That's it, Colonel.
434
00:17:27,765 --> 00:17:28,891
All right,
don't make a move
435
00:17:28,933 --> 00:17:30,309
till we get them
out of there.
436
00:17:30,351 --> 00:17:31,477
And make it fast.
437
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:32,937
We're only going
to have one chance.
438
00:17:32,978 --> 00:17:33,937
Right, Colonel.
Right.
439
00:17:33,979 --> 00:17:35,689
Good luck.
Let's go, Kinch.
440
00:17:39,693 --> 00:17:41,403
This looks
like a good place.
441
00:17:41,445 --> 00:17:42,613
Start the hog calling.
442
00:17:44,865 --> 00:17:46,867
Achtung! Achtung!
443
00:17:46,909 --> 00:17:49,536
This is Captain Berger!
444
00:17:49,578 --> 00:17:50,829
Sergeant Schultz,
445
00:17:50,829 --> 00:17:53,499
you will report
to me at once!
446
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,000
Sergeant Schultz!
447
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,795
Sergeant Schultz!
448
00:17:57,836 --> 00:17:59,338
Was ist los?
449
00:17:59,338 --> 00:18:01,006
This is Captain Berger!
450
00:18:01,006 --> 00:18:03,092
You will report
to me at once!
451
00:18:04,301 --> 00:18:05,719
Jawohl!
452
00:18:08,347 --> 00:18:09,723
Where is he?
453
00:18:19,316 --> 00:18:21,235
Sergeant Schultz,
this is Berger!
454
00:18:21,276 --> 00:18:22,903
What are you waiting for?!
455
00:18:22,945 --> 00:18:25,656
Yes, Captain Berger,
at your service, Captain Berger!
456
00:18:25,697 --> 00:18:26,657
Here I am, Captain Berger!
457
00:18:31,662 --> 00:18:32,704
Where is he?!
458
00:18:37,418 --> 00:18:39,878
Captain Berger?!
459
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,130
Schultz!
460
00:18:41,171 --> 00:18:42,214
Captain Berger!
461
00:18:42,256 --> 00:18:43,882
Yes, Captain Berger,
at your service!
462
00:18:43,924 --> 00:18:44,633
Here I am!
463
00:18:47,469 --> 00:18:49,012
Captain Berger!
464
00:18:50,889 --> 00:18:52,891
Here I am, Captain Berger,
at your service!
465
00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:55,018
Captain Berger!
466
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:03,902
I'm coming, Captain Berger!
467
00:19:03,944 --> 00:19:05,904
I'm coming, Captain Berger.
468
00:19:05,946 --> 00:19:07,239
Captain Berger...
469
00:19:07,239 --> 00:19:08,740
I'm coming.
470
00:19:08,782 --> 00:19:11,076
Captain Berger?
471
00:19:12,202 --> 00:19:14,580
Captain Berger, here I come!
472
00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:17,082
Captain Berger? Captain Berger?
473
00:19:27,301 --> 00:19:29,052
Captain Berger?
474
00:19:29,094 --> 00:19:30,512
Captain Berger?
475
00:19:35,767 --> 00:19:36,727
All set?
476
00:19:36,768 --> 00:19:37,936
Ready.
477
00:19:37,936 --> 00:19:39,188
Yeah, the stuff
is all planted.
478
00:19:39,229 --> 00:19:40,355
Okay, up she goes.
479
00:19:40,397 --> 00:19:42,441
Wait a minute.
What's the matter?
480
00:19:42,441 --> 00:19:45,152
Colonel, do you
mind if, uh...?
481
00:19:45,194 --> 00:19:47,279
Could I...?
482
00:19:47,321 --> 00:19:49,281
Oh, of course, Carter.
483
00:19:49,281 --> 00:19:51,325
Terribly selfish of me.
484
00:19:51,366 --> 00:19:54,036
Pyromaniacs
are so sensitive. Go.
485
00:20:12,095 --> 00:20:13,764
You Dummkopf!
486
00:20:13,805 --> 00:20:16,642
I should have known better
than to rely on you!
487
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:18,852
But I assure you, Herr General,
I was asleep in bed
488
00:20:18,894 --> 00:20:20,479
at the time it happened
right here!
489
00:20:20,479 --> 00:20:23,148
At least you could have had
the decency to sleep there.
490
00:20:23,190 --> 00:20:24,816
I assure you, Herr General,
the next time...
491
00:20:24,858 --> 00:20:27,653
There will be no next
time for you, Klink.
492
00:20:27,653 --> 00:20:30,155
I won't sleep at all,
ever, anywhere.
493
00:20:30,197 --> 00:20:31,657
I'm relieving you
of command.
494
00:20:31,657 --> 00:20:33,325
But Herr General, I...
Silence!
495
00:20:33,325 --> 00:20:34,493
I'm not finished!
496
00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:36,995
You are under arrest
for criminal inefficiency.
497
00:20:37,037 --> 00:20:39,623
Me?
Are you questioning me, Klink?
498
00:20:39,665 --> 00:20:40,999
Of course not,
Herr General.
499
00:20:41,041 --> 00:20:42,125
A very wise decision.
500
00:20:42,167 --> 00:20:44,544
But if the General would
possibly reconsider...
501
00:20:44,586 --> 00:20:46,004
Hate to break in
on two old friends.
502
00:20:46,296 --> 00:20:47,547
Hogan...
503
00:20:47,589 --> 00:20:49,675
Thought we might discuss
the bowling alley idea
504
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:51,468
while you're both
in such a good mood.
505
00:20:51,510 --> 00:20:52,636
"Bowling alley"?
Get out, Hogan!
506
00:20:52,678 --> 00:20:53,804
Oh, you want
to think about it?
507
00:20:53,845 --> 00:20:55,389
Hogan, you are dismissed.
508
00:20:55,430 --> 00:20:58,183
Yes, sir.
509
00:20:58,225 --> 00:20:59,518
Oh, this envelope's
for you.
510
00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:02,104
Hilda must have dropped it
when she brought in the mail.
511
00:21:02,145 --> 00:21:03,689
Sorry. Clumsy of me.
512
00:21:06,650 --> 00:21:08,735
It's a picture
of you, sir.
513
00:21:08,777 --> 00:21:10,195
Very natural, too.
514
00:21:10,195 --> 00:21:11,405
I hate pictures
515
00:21:11,446 --> 00:21:12,698
that are posed,
don't you?
516
00:21:12,698 --> 00:21:14,491
Mmm, they do look
very natural.
517
00:21:14,533 --> 00:21:16,034
Of course, some people
take good pictures,
518
00:21:16,034 --> 00:21:17,160
some people take
bad pictures.
519
00:21:17,202 --> 00:21:19,037
Shut up, Klink.
520
00:21:19,037 --> 00:21:20,539
This is a frame-up!
521
00:21:20,539 --> 00:21:23,583
I will have this girl arrested
at once.
522
00:21:23,625 --> 00:21:26,670
What's her name...
Fräulein, uh, Weske.
523
00:21:26,712 --> 00:21:29,506
Right, right,
have her arrested.
524
00:21:29,548 --> 00:21:30,632
Oops. Wrong.
525
00:21:30,674 --> 00:21:31,883
What are you talking about?
526
00:21:31,925 --> 00:21:33,176
Have her arrested,
527
00:21:33,218 --> 00:21:34,720
she sends the pictures
to your wife,
528
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:35,929
your wife has you arrested.
529
00:21:35,971 --> 00:21:37,347
My wife?
Yeah,
530
00:21:37,389 --> 00:21:38,348
you remember her...
531
00:21:38,390 --> 00:21:39,808
The little woman
with the big temper?
532
00:21:39,850 --> 00:21:42,227
This was an innocent party!
533
00:21:42,227 --> 00:21:44,396
It was an innocent party!
534
00:21:44,396 --> 00:21:45,731
Keep out of this.
535
00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:47,399
Yes, sir; it wasn't
innocent at all.
536
00:21:47,399 --> 00:21:48,733
Shut up!
537
00:21:48,733 --> 00:21:51,570
Let me see.
538
00:21:51,570 --> 00:21:54,281
Girl kissing you,
girl sitting on your lap,
539
00:21:54,322 --> 00:21:56,324
you holding girl
in your arms...
540
00:21:56,366 --> 00:21:58,034
Ah, what's to worry about?
541
00:21:58,076 --> 00:21:59,744
Your wife will understand.
542
00:21:59,744 --> 00:22:02,122
I am not afraid of my wife.
543
00:22:02,164 --> 00:22:03,748
Not afraid of your wife.
544
00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:05,709
But then,
there's the Führer.
545
00:22:05,750 --> 00:22:08,753
You know he doesn't like scandal
of any kind.
546
00:22:08,753 --> 00:22:10,046
Oh, here's a note.
547
00:22:10,088 --> 00:22:11,214
"Dear General,
548
00:22:11,256 --> 00:22:14,384
though I find you
a most fascinating man..."
549
00:22:14,426 --> 00:22:16,386
"Fascinating"? Mmm.
550
00:22:16,428 --> 00:22:19,723
We may have misjudged the girl.
551
00:22:19,764 --> 00:22:20,765
A discerning woman.
552
00:22:22,350 --> 00:22:24,978
"Though I find you
a most fascinating man,
553
00:22:25,020 --> 00:22:27,272
I've lost my heart
to Colonel Klink"?
554
00:22:27,314 --> 00:22:29,232
Hmm?
That's incredible!
555
00:22:29,274 --> 00:22:30,358
Ridiculous.
556
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,611
Ridiculous. But in
my lighter moments,
557
00:22:32,652 --> 00:22:35,197
when the burdens of war
were not so heavy...
558
00:22:35,238 --> 00:22:36,531
Go on, Hogan.
559
00:22:36,573 --> 00:22:38,742
He does have
a fascinating smile.
560
00:22:38,783 --> 00:22:40,202
Thank you, Hogan.
561
00:22:41,953 --> 00:22:45,999
She'll return the negatives
if I publicly announce
562
00:22:46,041 --> 00:22:49,461
Klink is not responsible
for the sabotage.
563
00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:50,962
I won't do it.
564
00:22:50,962 --> 00:22:53,131
Can I give you a lift
to the Russian Front?
565
00:22:53,131 --> 00:22:58,261
I must have those negatives.
566
00:22:58,303 --> 00:23:01,640
She says to send
one of the prisoners.
567
00:23:01,681 --> 00:23:04,100
She will trust no one else.
568
00:23:04,267 --> 00:23:05,477
Here, Hogan.
569
00:23:05,518 --> 00:23:07,062
You go.
570
00:23:07,103 --> 00:23:08,605
The instructions
are here.
571
00:23:08,647 --> 00:23:09,522
You trust me?
572
00:23:09,773 --> 00:23:11,107
Of course.
573
00:23:11,149 --> 00:23:13,151
I will have
all the prisoners shot
574
00:23:13,193 --> 00:23:15,320
if you are not back
in three hours.
575
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:16,529
You're a saint.
576
00:23:16,571 --> 00:23:19,282
We will tolerate
no tricks, Hogan.
577
00:23:19,324 --> 00:23:21,117
And I will send a guard
578
00:23:21,159 --> 00:23:23,745
to escort you
to your cell, Klink.
579
00:23:25,997 --> 00:23:27,499
He doesn't mean a thing.
580
00:23:27,499 --> 00:23:29,250
He loves me like a brother.
581
00:23:29,292 --> 00:23:32,337
You know, you'd be better off
without a family.
582
00:23:39,010 --> 00:23:39,970
General.
583
00:23:40,011 --> 00:23:41,513
You've got the negatives?
584
00:23:41,763 --> 00:23:42,514
Yes, sir.
585
00:23:42,764 --> 00:23:44,265
Thank you.
586
00:23:44,307 --> 00:23:45,934
Aren't you going
to release Klink?
587
00:23:45,976 --> 00:23:49,646
Now that I've got
these, what for?
588
00:23:49,688 --> 00:23:50,814
Maybe you better count.
589
00:23:55,694 --> 00:23:57,028
There is one missing.
590
00:23:57,028 --> 00:23:59,030
That little cheat.
591
00:23:59,030 --> 00:24:00,573
Sad world.
592
00:24:00,615 --> 00:24:01,950
You can't trust
anyone anymore.
593
00:24:02,242 --> 00:24:03,743
Guard?
594
00:24:08,707 --> 00:24:10,917
Oh, General Burkhalter,
what a nice surprise.
595
00:24:10,959 --> 00:24:12,252
You've come to see me.
596
00:24:12,293 --> 00:24:14,045
Yeah, and it's not
even visiting day.
597
00:24:14,045 --> 00:24:18,049
I have decided to release you
and restore your command.
598
00:24:18,091 --> 00:24:20,218
All charges will be dropped.
599
00:24:20,260 --> 00:24:22,137
You can't
mean it, sir.
600
00:24:22,178 --> 00:24:24,973
I don't, but I have no choice.
601
00:24:27,851 --> 00:24:29,894
I feel so good, I
want to celebrate.
602
00:24:29,936 --> 00:24:31,146
What have you got
in mind?
603
00:24:31,187 --> 00:24:32,272
A party.
604
00:24:32,313 --> 00:24:33,898
First, I will invite
Fräulein Weske,
605
00:24:33,940 --> 00:24:35,024
then the general...
606
00:24:35,066 --> 00:24:36,693
Commandant,
do me a favor, will you?
607
00:24:36,735 --> 00:24:37,402
What is it?
608
00:24:37,444 --> 00:24:38,903
Go to a movie instead.
40906
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