All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes S02E15 Information Please_iris2.eng

Schnell, Dummkopf!

Can't you do anything
by yourself?

Danke.

What would I do without you?

It looks
like old blood and guts

is leaving us, huh?

We can't be that lucky.

Hey, maybe he's been
invited away for a weekend.

Now, who would have him
for a whole weekend?

We'd better check
with the colonel.

Yeah. Okay.

Hey! Help!

Imbecile, eh?

I'm sorry.

I have enjoyed
this little holiday immensely

since I was shot down.

Good. We aim to please.

But I am anxious
to get back to England.

Well, so am I.

Ah, yes, but in point
of fact,

you're stationed here,
aren't you, actually, Corporal?

Oh, rather.

Look, Lieutenant, our job
is not just to get you

back to England, but safely.

Krauts are still searching
for you.

Soon as the heat's off,
you'll be on your way.

We've got some news.

Our beloved commandant's
leaving camp.

Leaving?

Oui, with suitcases,

like, for a weekend.

You mean you didn't know
he was going?

We're close, but he doesn't
tell me everything.

What do you think
it means, Colonel?

I don't know.
He's never taken a furlough.

Klink's a very dedicated Kraut.

Look here,
if your commandant

is away from camp,
wouldn't this be

an ideal opportunity for me
to, uh, scamper off home?

Escape while he's gone?

- Why not?
- Leftenant,

that would
hardly be cricket.

Oh.

Ah.

So the logical
conclusion must be

that military information
is leaking to the enemy

from the area
around here.

Oh, that's impossible,
Herr General!

In the middle of Germany?

Don't contradict me.

Yes, sir.

I must agree with the
general's conclusions.

But it's impossible.

Don't contradict him, either.

Yes, sir.

In fact, don't
contradict anybody

without permission from me.

You see, Colonel,

our intelligence people

have an agent planted

at military headquarters
in London.

He reports to us
through, uh, certain channels

that there is a flow
of information from this point.

Major, you have your finger
on Stalag 13.

And I have my finger
on you, Klink.

We are going to get
to the bottom of this.

General Burkhalter,
I can assure you

my men and prisoners
are under constant security.

Be quiet, Klink.

Yes, sir.

With your permission, sir.

General Burkhalter
has evolved

what I consider
a simple, brilliant plan.

So do I.

You haven't heard it yet.

Yes, sir,
I haven't heard it yet.

You will plant military
information at Stalag 13.

A fake, of course.

If London acts on it,
we can then be sure

the leak is somehow coming
from the camp.

You will very
carefully put out

the information
we give you.

No one must suspect
it is fraudulent.

Do you think
you can do it properly?

Of course, Herr General.

Now it is my turn
to contradict you.

I doubt it.

And because
of the labor shortage

in Germany at this time,

I have been authorized
to offer any prisoner

who wants to work
a job at civilian wages

in the town of Hammelburg.

Oh, come on.
You're joking.

All right, hold it!
Pipe down!

Colonel, are you offering
my men work in a war plant?

It would be called that, yes.

That's against the Geneva
Prisoner Of War Convention.

Hogan, I have made my offer.

That is all I can do.
Dismissed.

Klink doesn't
realize it,

but he just gave us
some valuable information.

How do you figure that,
Colonel?

A German war plant is
always a good target

once you know
where it is.

And how do we find
that out?

Oh, wait, wait,
wait, don't tell me.

The answer begins
with an "S"

and ends with
a "Z", right?

Right. Put 'em all together,
they spell "Schultz."

Now, go in and get
what's left over

from your last
Red Cross packages.

Oh, we got very
little left...

Aw, come on, fellas,
dig down deep.

Do you realize
the folks back home

are buying war bonds
and they've cut down

to three meals a day?

Now go.

Schultz...

Colonel Hogan,
I know nothing, nothing!

You don't know what
I'm going to ask.

I don't care.

I know nothing
about everything.

All I wanted to say was
the guys are reconsidering

Klink's offer about
working in town.

They'd like to know where
the factory is located

and what they're
making, that's all.

Too much.
Much, too much.

Okay, Schultz, if
that's how you want it.

Oh, thanks, Newkirk.

Eh, let's see
what we got here.

Chocolate-covered nuts,

nut-covered
chocolates...

Oh, some of the guys paid
back some of the candy bars

they borrowed between
Red Cross deliveries.

Hey, look at this.

Licorice. Oh...

Mm, licorice.

Mm... Colonel Hogan, please,

uh, could I make
a little loan from your bank?

The Board of
Directors, Schultz,

would like to know what
kind of security you can put up.

There's a factory
on the outskirts of Hammelburg.

Uh-huh.
They used to make shoes.

Uh-huh.
Now they are converted.

Ah-ah!

Converted to
what, Schultz?

Rockets. They're
assembling them there.

That's interesting,
if true.

Oh, the big shot Klink
told me.

Oh, mm... Shh.

Top secret.

Then don't
tell anybody.

Oh, I won't.

Good.

Wait a minute.

I just told you.

Well, who am I going
to tell it to?

Goldilocks to Papa Bear.

New rocket assembly plant,
outskirts Hammelburg.

Repeat, rocket assembly plant,
outskirts Hammelburg.

The leak must have occurred
right here in this camp, Klink.

But that's hard to believe, sir.

Our agent in
London reports

the British Bomber
Command ordered

an air strike based
on information

received from here.

Fortunately, the attack was
against an abandoned factory.

I knew it.

The whole thing was too easy,
and I fell for it.

Oh, don't blame
yourself, Colonel.

We all got careless.

But who could be sending
this information, Herr General?

It might be anyone.

Even you, Klink.

Me?
I am a loyal officer, sir.

Loyalty counts for nothing
without efficiency.

As of now, Colonel,

you are relieved
of your command.

Relieved of my...

I'm a career officer, sir.

What would become of me?

You may discuss that with
General Godfried personally.

General Godfried?
Who's he?

Another career officer fighting
for his life outside of Moscow.

Major Kohler will take over as
commandant as soon as possible.

You, Klink...
You will stay on

and acquaint him
with camp routine.

Understood?!

I assure you,
Herr General...

Assure me of nothing.

I have a headache that
big with your name on it.

Come with
me, Kohler.

There are a few other
matters I wish to discuss.

Herr General.

There seems to be
some unexpected company.

Heil Hitler.

Boy, they sure put
one over on us.

Those dirty snakes.

There is a war on,
you know.

Well, that's no excuse
for sneaky behavior.

What about that agent
they got planted

in headquarters
in London?

Notify London
and tell them

we're going to
stop transmitting

for a while as
a precaution.

Right.
I'll take care of it.

Hey, Colonel,
that R.A.F. leftenant's

still waiting to escape.

Well, tell him
to go on waiting.

If we make a move now, we
could be in bigger trouble...

if that's possible.

Kohler, I told you
we are going to get

to the bottom of this,
and I meant it.

Yes, sir.

Tomorrow, an
American officer

will be brought
here as a prisoner.

His name is Lieutenant
James Crandal.

His real name
is Schmidt.

An intelligence agent?

One of the best.

Personally recommended
by Himmler.

An excellent plan, General.

Infiltrate the prisoners

to find out what
we want to know.

Exactly.

Schmidt will be able
to discover

how the information
is sent to London.

Oh, uh, Klink is not to know
anything about the spy.

Yes, sir.

If we work hard, we may
be able to win this war

even with Klink on our side.

Uh, sir.

Yes?

May I ask, do you
actually suspect

Colonel Klink
of disloyalty?

Disloyalty?

No! Stupidity?

Yes.

Come on, Carter.

That's gin.

Well, you'd better set another
place for dinner, LeBeau.

We got a new member
of the country club.

LeBEAU: I wonder
where they captured him.

Let's find out.

Give him the routine
check, Colonel?

The works.

Carter, when they take him

to the delousing station,
check his uniform and boots.

Make sure they were made
in the U.S.

Yeah, will do.

The rest of you start
pumping him.

Don't tell him a thing
until we clear him.

Aye, Colonel.

All right,
let's see what we got.

"James Crandal, age 28,
Second Lieutenant."

Home is Enid, Oklahoma.

He's a Bombardier.

He was trained at Westhover
Field, Massachusetts

and assigned
to the 313th wing.

Shot down
over Dusseldorf.

We checked that.

There was a big raid
on Dusseldorf

about four days ago.

The only survivor of his
crew, kept in transit camp,

questioned by
Luftwaffe intelligence

and then sent here.

Doesn't speak any Italian,
French or German.

Right.

What else we got?

Well, his bomb wing

operates out of a field,
uh, Gatwick, in England.

He's got the typical
G.I. view of England.

You know, girls, booze and then
back to the girls again.

That's normal.

Yeah. Man like that
has to be legitimate.

His boots and his uniform
are standard issue.

Nothing phony, Colonel.

No, he sounds straight
to me, Colonel.

Wait a minute.

Did he ask anybody
about the setup here?

No.

No.

Well, what's the verdict,
Colonel?

I'm not sure.

What, do you
want a blood test?

No questions about
the situation here

at Grand Hotel.

Colonel, we didn't have time.

Oh, come on.
Think back.

What's the first thing
a new prisoner does

when he lands in prison?

Try to figure out
how to escape, right?

It's a natural thing
once you've been captured.

All right, assume
he is a plant.

How do we make sure?

There's one
more little test.

We'll work it tonight.

You're a suspicious man.

Look at it this way...

The life I save
might be my own.

Lieutenant.

Lieutenant.

Crandal!

Wake up! Fire!

Schnell! Zum Fenster!
Raus!

Let's get
out of here!

Okay, hold it, hold it!

We got it. It's out.

It's okay.

Come on.

It's out. No sweat.

What happened?

Well, I was smoking.

I guess I fell asleep.

Boy, it's lucky
you weren't burned.

Well, I threw
the blanket off.

Let's be a bit more
careful next time,

shall we, LeBeau?
All right,

the excitement's all over.
Everybody back to bed, huh?

Boy, that
was a close call.

That's dangerous.

LeBEAU:
I love smoking.

So don't do it.

That fake!

What?

He understood when Kinch

told him to go out the window
in German.

He's a Kraut.

The biggest.

I just saw him coming
out of the Rec Hall, Colonel.

He's heading this way.
All right.

This is our chance to use
Crandal for a double play.

You know what to do.
Right, Colonel.

All right, Carter,
you make the goof.

Right.

You picked the right man
for the job, Colonel.

Well, it does take
intelligence to be stupid.

Do you mind

if I have a little time
to think that over?

Well, it does take
intelligence to be stupid.

Sure, sure.

Colonel, men.
Hi, Crandal.

Hi, Crandal.

Hey, that Kraut sergeant just
brazed me outside the Rec Hall.

Not supposed
to be in there.

Only certain hours.

You mean Shultz
pushed you around?

Yeah. You told me
he was dein Kraut.

He was, till that
new major took over.

Yeah, he's worse than Klink.

I didn't think
it was possible.

Guess you guys
had things organized

pretty much your own way, huh?

We were doing all right.

Can't figure what happened
to upset the Krauts.

I think it must have been
that, uh, bombing raid

on the war plant
in Hammelburg, sir.

Well, let's face it.

They bombed the place right
after Klink offered us the jobs.

So what? Coincidence,
that's all.

Yeah, but if those Krauts
ever get wise that

- Major Kohler tipped us...
- Carter!

Keep your big trap shut.

Yes, sir. Sorry sir.

Yackety-yak all the time.

All right, but I said
I was sorry.

Now he's sorry.

Was that something
I wasn't supposed to hear?

Well, you're new here, Crandal.
We can't take chances.

Yeah, I guess the Krauts'd love
to get a plant in here.

They don't trust us at all,

uh, considering how
long we've been here.

You've been cleared, Crandal.

You may as well know
everything we know.

That's a relief.

Kohler's working for our side.

Kraut major?
Shh.

Keep it quiet.

We didn't know it ourselves
until recently.

That bombing raid on
the rocket plant in Hammelburg

gave us the clue.

We told him
about that factory.

And then he passed the
information on to London.

Secret radio or something.

Who knows?

Maybe he just opened a
window and shouted the news.

We have no way of getting in
touch with London to check it.

They may even be paying Kohler.

How do you like that?

Kraut's going along
unsuspecting,

and here's this fellow
right in the middle of 'em,

selling them out.

Yeah.
That's the way it is.

Yeah.

There's always one
in every bunch.

Achtung!

Colonel Hogan, did you
really think you could fool me?

You're always one step
ahead of us, sir.

Newkirk, fix it.

Yes, sir.

Shultz!

You must keep an eye
on them every minute.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Dummkopf!

Keep an eye on them every
minute, did you hear that?

And you have to watch them,
watch them, watch them!

Does it work?

Like a charm.

Klink was right.

You've got to keep
an eye on us every minute.

Colonel.

Colonel Hogan.

Crandal just went
into Klink's office.

Good. Takes care of Kohler.

Will they
believe Crandal?

Let's make sure
they believe him.

What do we have in

our vast storehouse
of treasures

that would incriminate
a German major?

What about a nice autographed
picture of Winston Churchill...

"To my dear friend
Major Kohler"?

I'd believe that.

All right, hold it,
hold it, hold it.

I've got an idea, Kinch.

Send a message to London.

Tell them to drop
the name Kohler

to that spy the Germans
planted in headquarters.

Say that Kohler's the informer.

Okay, will do.

And he send the name
back to Burkhalter, right?

You have five
silver dollars.

Would you like
to try for ten?

Then Kohler's really framed.

Like something hanging
in the Louvre.

We really are a nasty lot,
we are.

Newkirk, I'm so
glad you approve.

General Burkhalter,

what a pleasure
to see you again.

The next sound you hear
will be Kohler yelling,

"I've been framed."

Lies, General, all lies!

The fact is, Major, that you
have had the opportunity

to obtain classified
information.

You're my aide.

And we have been coming
to this area

ever since
Stalag 13 opened.

You were in a position
to observe everything.

Everything!

Stay out of this, Klink.

Yes, sir.

Till you
need me, sir.

You not only
observe everything,

but pass it along
to England.

But why would I do
such a thing?

We are not concerned
with your motives.

The Gestapo will take that up
with you.

General Burkhalter,
you must listen to me, please.

Would it make any sense for me

to pass false information
to London?

You knew we were getting
close to the truth,

so you found a convenient way

to throw suspicion
on someone else.

Those staff officers,
they are so clever.

Klink!

I am a staff officer.

I didn't mean you, sir.
You're not clever.

I... You're clever!
You're clever.

Shut up, Klink.

But General, there is
no proof against me.

Is that so?

Just an hour ago,

I had an urgent message
from Berlin about you.

It seems that
our agent in England

overheard two British officers
in London using your name.

What?

That's impossible!

Don't contradict
the general.

Not without permission.

That enough
proof for you?

You can't condemn
me just like that.

I demand a fair trial.

In Germany?

Mr. Kohler,
you are under arrest.

You are under arrest.
Guard!

I am being destroyed
with false evidence.

He's to be turned
over to the Gestapo.

Schmidt!

You will return to the barracks

as Lieutenant Crandal
and complete your mission.

Dismissed.

Jawohl, General.

We are gradually getting
to the bottom of this,

I am happy to say.

I am very happy,
too, Herr General.

You have no idea how
happy it makes me

that you are happy, Klink.

Why don't you give up?
You never win.

We never play
with my cards.

Why don't you play
tiddledlywinks... Crandal,

got good
news for you.

Yes, sir.

This is your escape map.
Memorize it and destroy it.

And that's enough food
to get you to the coast.

What's this?

You're going out tonight.
To England.

LeBEAU:
Boy, is he lucky.

In a few days, you'll be
at the base at Gatwick

in the pub with all the mob,
telling them all about it.

Hey, Lieutenant, would
you mail a letter for me?

Look, Colonel,

I'm anxious to get
out of here, but...

do you think this
is a good time?

I mean, the Krauts are
a little nervous right now.

You said so yourself.

They're always
like that.

High-strung.

You'll be all right.
Good luck.

Look, Colonel, thanks
for the opportunity,

but I don't think I...
You're escaping tonight.

You can't tell
a man to escape

if he doesn't want to.

What did you say, Fritz?

Leftenant.

What do you
mean, Fritz?!

Yeah, baby, that's you,
Fritz, like in Kraut.

Here's your man.

You, sir, are my prisoner.

Nice touch.

Makes it official.

This is your
escort officer.

He'll get you
back to England.

Nice fellow.

But you try any crazy
moves, he'll kill you.

You can count on me, my boy.

Don't worry,
I won't try anything.

I know when I've had it.

Ah, that's very sensible.

I say, he is
the nervous type.

That's all right.
You can handle it.

Here we go.

Look.

We've called a sub.

They'll meet you
at the rendezvous point.

Oh, good show.

Thanks awfully
for everything.

Be careful if you
meet any patrols.

He speaks German
like a native, which he is.

I believe I
have a solution.

Good show, old boy.

Do carry on.

Yes, General Burkhalter.

Sergeant Schultz
just reported to me.

Lieutenant Crandal...
I mean, Schmidt...

Escaped sometime
during the night.

Now, I suggest that...

Oh, I do not suggest.

I see.

Disregard it.

I understand.

His means of protecting
his cover story

in case we need him again.

He has just completed
his assignment.

Very good, sir.

Oh.

Heil Hitler.

You mean to say Crandal
was really a Schmidt?

Indeed, he was.

Ooh.

That's not very nice.

Schultz, when I want your
opinion, I will ask for it.

Well, Herr Kommandant,
I think if a man...

I do not want it now.

Yes, Hogan,
what is it?

Sir, I'm terribly sorry
to report

that one of the prisoners
escaped during the night.

I know all about it.

Why are you sorry?

There's never been a successful
escape from Stalag 13.

It ruins your record.

I'm not the least bit concerned.

Well, that's a switch.

What's been going on
around here, Colonel?

Hogan, that's
none of your business.

Don't look at me.

I know nothing.

Nothing!

That's fine.

I'm nice enough to report
an escaped prisoner,

and you brush me off.

The matter is closed.
Dismissed.

Nobody ever tells me
anything around here.

And that is the way
it should be.

I know. But it makes
a man feel unloved.