All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes S02E14 Klinks Rocket_iris2.eng

Report!

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

All present
and accounted for.

Prisoners, from
time to time

I bring you news
of the war

of which you are
no longer a part.

Things continue to go well
for our victorious fatherland.

Hah! That's
a laugh!

Our illustrious Luftwaffe

not only controls
the skies of Europe,

but, at this moment,

is introducing London
to our famous blitzkrieg.

What's a famous
blitzkrieg?

What is that?

Silence!

We were forced to take
these extreme measures

in order to crush all Allied
resistance and bring this war

to a successful conclusion

for our glorious
Third Reich.

Dismissed.

Bomb London...
That rotten Kraut.

Hold it, hold it.

Lousy Boche. Someday
we will make them pay.

Someday?
Why not now?

Come on, don't just stand there.

We got work to do
if we're going to help London.

You're forgetting
something, sir.

We're in the
middle of Germany.

No, you're forgetting...
So's Colonel Klink.

It's crazy.

Yesterday you sneak me
into a prison camp,

and today
you sneak me out.

And tomorrow we sneak
you back in again.

Here he comes, LeBeau.

Now don't go away,
will ya, Billy?

All right, all right.

Hold it, hold it.

Make sure the chute's
secure up there.

Whatever you're up to,
I pray it works.

Don't worry, Colonel Hogan
and I know what we're doing.

All right, Billet, we'll
see you tomorrow. Happy dreams.

Good night, sir.

I hope.

Take it easy.

Don't worry.

The Colonel and I know
exactly what we're doing.

Hey, it's stuck.

Open up. It's me.

LeBeau, if that one doesn't
work, try this one here.

You think Billet is
safe hanging there?

Sure.
Old eagle-eye Schultz

will capture him
in the morning.

London just confirmed
your request, sir.

They're going to set up
an abandoned warehouse

in Leedingham and load it
with anti-aircraft,

and also, throw in
a flock of Spitfires.

The trap is set.

Sir? I think
this time

we've bit off more
than we can chew.

All we've got to do
is get Klink to believe

there's a rocket gun
factory in England.

Get him to pry
the location out of Carter,

then he notifies the Luftwaffe,
they send over their bombers,

our anti-aircraft knock them off

and we've relieved
the pressure on London.

Simple.

You know what?

I think we bit off
more than we can chew.

Hi, Schultz.

Good morning,
Colonel Hogan.

What's up?

What do you mean,
what's up?

They're working,
that's what's up.

Come on, Schultz,
I'm surprised at you.

Since when have you
become so suspicious?

Please, Colonel
Hogan, please!

No trouble.

Trouble? Schultz, have we
ever caused you any trouble?

I mean, recently?
Believe me, nothing's up.

Then why are
they working?

Because this is our home.

We believe
in keeping it clean.

"Cleanliness first,"
always been my motto.

Please, Colonel Hogan,
let them stop.

I'd feel so much better.

All right, fellas,
knock it off.

Thank you.

Oh, Schultz.

Can you do us a favor?

I knew it, I knew it.

Relax, relax.

I just wanted to ask
you as a friend

to get us some grapes.

Grapes?

Yeah, they're the last
grapes of the season.

The fellas are having a wine
festival in Barracks Three.

They're right
outside the fence,

right over by those trees.

Absolutely, positively no.

Oh, come on, Schultz.

They're right there.

All right,
all right!

Hold it, fellas. One
thing I've learned,

when Schultz
says no, he means no.

Once his mind's
made up, it's made up.

Carter, you go get
the grapes. Yes, sir.

Hold it, Carter!

Carter, come back!

You know you can't
go out of camp.

But Schultz,
we need the grapes.

I'll get them. I'll...

Well, Schultz
is doing his part.

Now it's Klink's turn
to save London.

You know, Colonel Hogan, I am
amazed at how naive you are

when it comes to
military matters.

How did you ever
become a colonel?

Hard work, sir,
just plain hard work.

Plus the fact my father's

president
of the United States.

Now, that's funny,
very funny, Colonel Hogan,

but jokes don't win wars,

and while you make
the jokes, look

what our glorious
German forces are doing.

Our troops are solidly
entrenched everywhere.

Your troops,
they're retreating,

completely disorganized.

Yeah, well, this, uh, map
does prove one thing, sir.

If we ever start fighting
this war with pins,

your side may win.

Mm-hmm, that's
good, very good.

I'm so glad you still
have your sense of humor.

You know, you are
very good at jokes.

Very good. Only here,
the joke is on you.

It...

Well, now, that's strange.

I didn't realize
the Allied troops

were that close
to Munich...

and to Berlin.

You've got to
watch us, Colonel.

We move pretty fast.

In fact, we're
moving so fast,

this war may be over
before we come out

with our new rocket gun.

Rocket gun?

Oh, maybe I shouldn't
have mentioned this.

It's just a rumor.

I'm sure if it were true,

German intelligence would
have heard of it.

I am very sure
of that, too.

Then, again,
German intelligence

might have missed it.

We all make mistakes.

German intelligence is comprised

of the finest minds
in the world.

They are infallible.

Well, then, I guess

the rocket gun is just a rumor.

Exactly.

But, if true, this weapon
could end the war.

Hogan,
I'm onto your little game.

Little game, sir?

Don't you think I know
what you're doing?

You are making me think that
the Allies have a new weapon,

when, in fact, you're making
the whole thing up.

You're right, sir.
I did just make it up.

You are lying!

Now, I want to know

everything about that
rocket gun. Everything.

H-Herr Kommandant,
I have to report.

Schultz, I...

Schultz, you call yourself
a soldier. Look at you...

Button your collar.

Put on your helmet.

Put it on, put it on.

That's better!

Herr Kommandant, there's,
there's a man in a parachute

hanging from a tree
outside the camp.

Parachute?

Dummkopf,
why didn't you tell me?

Tell the men in Barracks Three,

the grapes for the wine
are already crushed.

You should be ashamed of
yourself, staying up all night.

Hey, look at you.

Billet, I see you're
all in one piece.

That's true, sir,
but I certainly have

spent more
comfortable nights,

and that Schultz...
He's a real beaut.

Don't knock Schultz.

He's one of the best
soldiers in our army.

How'd the
interrogation go?

Name, rank, serial number,

and then I let slip I
was en route to Russia,

like you told me, sir.

Good, good. Sit down.

Sure wish I knew
what was going on.

Forget it.
It's a long story,

and besides, your part's over.

All right, Carter.

Now, this is the
so-called breech plate.

You sure you got
the facts straight?

Yes, sir.

Uh, Billet is ferrying
the parts to Russia.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, it has a range
of a thousand miles,

and it's five times

more powerful than
any other weapon.

All right, now the town in
England where it's manufactured.

That's important. You got it?

Oh, sure. That's, uh, Eldingham.

Uh, uh...

Dingleham.

Leedingham. Leedingham.

That's it, that's it.
Leedingham.

Yes, sir. I've got it now.

Ladinghoo...

Leedingham.

I would also advise you to
inform the new prisoner,

that although I'm
fair but stern,

I can be tough if I have to.

Now, remember, you
will all be here

until Germany
wins this war,

which might be
a lot quicker

than you think.

What's that?

Nothing. It's
just a piece

of a new rocket gun.

Billet gave it to me.

Carter!

I didn't say anything
wrong, Colonel, and

I didn't tell him
anything important,

like where in England this
new rocket gun's being made.

Big mouth.

Schultz, did you say you
searched this man thoroughly

before I interrogated him?

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

And you missed
something this size?

Uh, uh, uh, I, I...

This is very
nicely made.

Very nicely made.

Yeah, and what
a range it has.

Dismissed.

Schultz, I want
to see Carter

in my office right away.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Carter.

The fish are biting today.

Hmm... hmm... hmm... hmm...

Do you hear
what I hear?

Moans...
it sounds like Carter.

Impossible.

Mmm...

It's Carter,
all right.

And he's definitely
moaning.

Bloody beast,
he's torturing him.

Mmm... mmm...

mmm...

mmm...

Oh...
no, no more, please.

I couldn't take anymore.

Poor Carter.

I should have gone
myself.

What's he doing to him?

I don't know.

Why doesn't he give him
the information?

All right, Carter.

We'll take up where we left off
after suppertime.

You are now dismissed.

Schultz!

That belongs
to the prisoner.

Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant!

Herr Kommandant, what about
the secret drumstick...

I mean, the secret
rocket gun?

Now, do not concern
yourself about that.

I have a plan.

A plan?

Yes, I do.

I am going to call
General Rudolf Von Lintzer

on the telephone.

Call General Rudolf Von Lintzer,
Luftwaffe.

You know him?

Ha! Rudy?

Why, in military school,
we were like brothers.

Without my help,

he would not be
where he is now.

Oh, to think that
he is a general now.

Ja, ja, ja,
fortunes of war.

But if he is present

when I get
the information

about this rocket
gun factory...

He will put in a good word
for you in Berlin!

"General Klink."

That sounds just right,
doesn't it?

To me, you always
will be a colonel.

Dismissed.

Schultz!

Lay down...
take it easy.

Sit down,
sit down.

There.

There's not
a mark on him!

There never is.

Those rats know
how to do a job.

Carter, were
does it hurt?

In the stomach?

Don't try
to talk.

Boy, I am full.

What did you
eat? You what?

I never ate so much
in my life.

Carter, what exactly went
on in Klink's office?

Shrimp cocktail,
turkey, potato pancakes,

apple strudel... everything!

Ooh! I just couldn't
take any more.

You mean they
didn't torture you?

Well, I'm gonna.

Hold it. Hold it.

Why didn't
you give him

the location of
the rocket bases?

He never asked.

Oh. Besides,
it's not polite

to talk with
your mouth full.

Or with
an empty head.

Come on.
It wasn't my fault.

Besides, Klink
really sets a table.

Don't you realize

the importance
of this operation?

Oh, I've heard
of eating you

out of house and home,
but out of a war?

It's going
to be all right.

I'm going to go back
there tonight for dinner.

Tell me, Carter, how
do you like it here

at the Savoy Hitler?

You're the only
prisoner I know

on the American plan.

Colonel, I just heard
on the coffeepot

that General Von Lintzer...
Luftwaffe... is on the way.

It's just
like Klink

to try to make points
with the brass.

Klink might
be easy to fool,

but a Luftwaffe general
figures to be pretty sharp.

And tough.

A man like that
could really

give Carter
a going over.

Look, uh... Colonel,
you know,

it's really kind of selfish
of me to go back there

and have another
wonderful meal.

I ought to give one of
the other fellas a chance.

Very noble, Carter,

but you're going
to go to that dinner.

And what you
don't finish,

you'll bring back
in a doggie bag.

But, Colonel, I...

Now, listen to me,
and listen real good.

You don't spill
a thing to Klink.

You wait till the
general interrogates you,

then you stall
a couple of times

before
you break down.

You got it?
Yes, sir.

Now, remember,

everything depends
on the job you do

in front
of that general.

Yes, sir.
One final check.

Do you remember
where you're going

to tell him the rocket gun
factory is located?

Well, come on, Colonel.

What kind of goof
do you think I am?

Colonel, shall I tell him?

Just double-checking.

What's the location?

Well, the rocket gun factory
is two miles due west of...

Uh... It's...
it's two miles due west of...

I got it right here.

I don't want
it right here.

I want it
right here.

It's two miles due west
of Hamleading.

Leadham.

Leedingham.

If it was something to eat,
he'd remember it.

Leedingham,
Leedingham.

I've got it for sure.

It's Leedinghum, ham.
Leedingham.

You didn't finish
your potato soup.

Well-Well, you gave me
so much, Schultz.

You didn't like it?

Oh, I did, I did.

Oh, it was too spicy?

No, no. It wasn't spicy enough?

Schultz!

Mmm. Mmm.

You know, Carter,

it's really a shame

that you and I have never gotten
to know each other better.

How often have I
said to myself...

"Now here's what
I call a fine,

intelligent soldier."

Hmm.

Now, please,
keep on eating.

By the way,

in a few moments,
a, uh, general will join us,

and I'm going to have
to ask you a few questions.

Nothing important.

Just a few
inconsequential questions

to make it look good
for the general.

You know how generals are.

And, uh, I'm sure

that, uh, I can expect
some, uh, intelligent

and accurate
answers, no, hmm?

Anything, Colonel.

Anything you want to know.

Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat!

Herr Kommandant,

General Von Lintzer has arrived.

He came.

Oh, that's marvelous!

Rudy!

How nice to see you!

Just like old times.

Heil Hitler?

I better not be here
on a fool's errand, Flink.

Klink.

Now, your name, I would
be much more interested in.

Uh, her name is Hilda,
and I'm sure that she would...

Hilda? Is that
your name, Hilda?

Ja, Herr General.

Tell me, my dear,

how does a sweet thing
such as you exist

in this oppressive
atmosphere?

I follow orders, Herr General.

Don't be surprised if
these order take you

to Berlin one of
these fine days.

Is that why you
asked me to come?

To watch you stand
like a dummy?

No, no, no, no, no,
Herr General.

I assure you, this is a matter
of the utmost importance.

What is this rubbish
about a rocket gun?

Our intelligence
reports no such weapon.

Mm-hmm. I would not
be surprised.

With the General's
permission...

This is probably
the enemy's

most closely
guarded secret.

As a matter of fact,
uh, I'm most grateful

that fate has chosen
me to discover it.

You have proof
that this gun exists?

Proof positive.

This was found
on an airman

this morning
who was captured.

It is part of
a rocket gun.

Hmm.

You might have something here,
Flink.

Klink.

That's not
all I have.

Right here in my office
is another prisoner

who knows the exact
location of the factory

where this rocket
gun was made.

Excellent.
One precision bombing,

and we could level this factory.

Where is it?

That's the one thing
I haven't found out yet.

Take me to this prisoner.

I'll get it out of him.

With the General's permission,

this prisoner has an
unbelievable will power.

Now I have spent hours

relentlessly beating him down
bit by bit.

I think, in a few more minutes,
we'll have it.

After you,
Herr General.

General.

Is this the way

you relentlessly
beat down a prisoner?

Well, I...

Oh, you see, General,

this is an original
tactic of mine.

You see, ever since I have been
commandant here at Stalag 13,

this has never failed.

Well, now, Carter,

I trust you're
feeling better, huh?

Oh, sure, swell.

Good.

Then I suppose it's, uh,
time for our little talk.

Okay. What do you
want to talk about?

Well, I, uh...

By the way,
I believe, uh,

this is yours,
and you'd like to have it back.

It's a, uh...

Breech plate from
a new rocket gun.

That's right,
that's right.

Comes from a factory in, uh...

In...

Wait a second now.

I... I see
what you're trying to do.

You're trying to trick me.

Come on, Commandant.

You know that's against
the rules and regulations.

Carter.

Sure.

Now I see it.

Boy, what a pal
you turned out to be.

Well, you're not gonna get
anything out of me.

No, sir, not a word.

Oh, by the way,
your sauerbraten was delicious.

Herr General, perhaps
you could wait until tomorrow.

Shut up.

I think it only fair
to tell you

that I employ somewhat
different tactics

than Lieutenant Klink.

Colonel Klink.

Don't bet on it.

Major difference is that
when I want information,

I get it!

You can't frighten me.

I wouldn't dream
of frightening you.

I will leave that
to the Gestapo.

The Gestapo?

You're going
to bring in the Gestapo?!

Okay, Carter,
you can talk now.

All right, I'll talk.

Where is it?

Well, it's...

It's two miles due west of...

It's two miles
due west of, uh...

Don't play games
with me, I warn you!

No. Know what?

I-I knew it just a minute ago.

It's... It's two miles
due west of...

Hamleading.

Inhaming.

Ing, Ing, Ing?

Forgot again.

Where is the rocket factory?!

Would you just quit
staring at me?

You see, I-I can't think
under pressure at all.

I'm losing patience with you!

Carter, tell him,
and I promise you,

tomorrow you'll have schnitzel
and dumplings!

Will you shut up?

What is this?
Who is this man?

Colonel Hogan,
Senior P.O.W. Officer.

How are you, Carter?

Have they broken you yet?

I should have known.

He hasn't talked
yet, Colonel Hogan,

but he will.

Yeah, maybe with other men,
but you don't know Carter.

Go ahead, torture him,
beat him,

break him in two.
He'll never talk.

Colonel Hogan.

Very well. Klink,
get the Gestapo.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute.

I can't let you do that.

I'll take the blame.

I'll tell you
what you want to know.

It's the rocket gun factory,
isn't it?

It's two miles due west
of Leedingham.

Sure, that's it... Leedingham.

Sure, that's what it is.

Now just in case
this is a trick,

I'll send a
reconnaissance flight

to verify
the location.

Sir, I knew we
could break them!

Colonel Hogan?

Colonel, we got
a game going on.

Colonel Hogan, I
must congratulate you

on your honesty.

The reconnaissance flight
verified the new factory

near Leedingham.

You sure know how
to rub it in, General.

And tonight,
the new factory

will be reduced
to rubble.

I personally will lead
the bombing mission.

And, of course,
everyone knows

that the General is one
of our finest pilots.

By the way, General,
when you go to Berlin,

you'll mention my name.

Uh, say a few words
here and there.

Words? Well,
I would be glad

to put in
a few words.

Negligence,
irresponsibility,

inefficiency,
stupidity.

As soon as I get
back from the raid,

I will take
care of you.

Good day.

Hmm.

I heard that in school,

Von Lintzer was
your dearest friend.

Ja, ja, ja.

You would have been better off
with an enemy.

Come in.

You sent for
me, Colonel?

Yes, I did.

Do you know what happened
in that air raid last night?

Well, where would I get
any information from?

62 German bombers shot down.

62, Hogan.

No.

Including General Von Lintzer's.

Your friend.

Yes.

Must have been
those rocket guns.

I told you how deadly they were.

Yes, and you know what I think.

I don't think
there are any rocket guns.

I don't think
there ever were any rocket guns.

I think
the whole thing was a trap.

Shh.

If I were you,
I wouldn't

let that kind of
talk get around.

People might think
you were responsible.

You know what I mean?

Me responsible?

Well, after all,
you were the one

that asked Von
Lintzer to come here,

so if it was a trap...

Well, I-I...

Who said it was a trap?

It was just the possibility
of a trap.

Oh, there never was any trap.

Look.

If this is not part
of rocket gun, what is it?

What else could it be?

Part of a lamp.