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1
00:00:52,905 --> 00:00:55,282
You look authentic enough
to get a punch in the mouth.
2
00:00:55,324 --> 00:00:57,367
Oh, charming.
Thanks a lot.
3
00:00:57,409 --> 00:00:58,535
How about Carter?
4
00:00:58,577 --> 00:00:59,787
Heil Hitler. Heil Hitler.
5
00:00:59,828 --> 00:01:00,871
Another doll.
6
00:01:00,913 --> 00:01:02,664
Heil Hitler.
Heil Hitler.
7
00:01:02,706 --> 00:01:05,000
May I ask
what you're doing?
8
00:01:05,042 --> 00:01:07,711
Uh, just warming up
my Nazi arm.
9
00:01:07,753 --> 00:01:09,254
This is
an important mission.
10
00:01:09,296 --> 00:01:11,673
This guy Becker's been
in the underground a long time.
11
00:01:11,715 --> 00:01:14,134
He's got enough
information to get us all shot.
12
00:01:14,134 --> 00:01:15,344
Right. London wants
us to spring him
13
00:01:15,385 --> 00:01:16,970
before the Gestapo
can work him over.
14
00:01:17,012 --> 00:01:19,306
Yeah, if they get on to
us, we'll be worked over.
15
00:01:19,348 --> 00:01:20,307
Not scared,
are you?
16
00:01:20,349 --> 00:01:21,975
Plenty. Yeah, I'm
a natural coward.
17
00:01:22,017 --> 00:01:23,811
I was born that way.
18
00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:33,946
All right, all clear
outside the wire.
19
00:01:33,987 --> 00:01:36,156
Down periscope.
20
00:01:36,198 --> 00:01:37,491
Question, sir.
21
00:01:37,533 --> 00:01:40,577
What happens if the Gestapo
won't turn over Becker to us?
22
00:01:40,619 --> 00:01:41,620
Back off.
No shooting.
23
00:01:41,662 --> 00:01:42,663
We don't want
the Germans to know
24
00:01:42,663 --> 00:01:43,705
we're trying
to get Becker out.
25
00:01:43,747 --> 00:01:44,873
Then they will
tighten security.
26
00:01:44,915 --> 00:01:45,916
Right.
27
00:01:45,958 --> 00:01:47,000
Kinch, what
about the car?
28
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,460
I borrowed it from
the motor pool.
29
00:01:48,502 --> 00:01:49,670
It's parked on the
Hammelburg Road.
30
00:01:49,711 --> 00:01:51,088
Okay. Let's go.
31
00:01:51,129 --> 00:01:53,173
Now, remember, don't drive it
any more than necessary.
32
00:01:53,215 --> 00:01:55,884
Yes, sir. Well, we hadn't
planned on taking a trip, sir,
33
00:01:55,926 --> 00:01:57,678
but why not? Because we're
paying the Kraut sergeant
34
00:01:57,719 --> 00:01:59,763
in the motor pool
ten cents a mile.
35
00:02:16,697 --> 00:02:18,824
Authorization to remove
the prisoner Becker.
36
00:02:20,242 --> 00:02:22,369
You may stand at ease,
Speketoff.
37
00:02:22,369 --> 00:02:24,288
Jawohl, Captain.
Danke.
38
00:02:24,329 --> 00:02:27,708
Well... this seems
to be in order.
39
00:02:27,749 --> 00:02:28,834
Of course it is.
40
00:02:28,875 --> 00:02:30,669
He's supposed to be brought
to our car at once.
41
00:02:30,711 --> 00:02:32,421
No, no, no, no.
42
00:02:32,462 --> 00:02:34,756
I'm afraid that is impossible.
43
00:02:34,798 --> 00:02:37,009
I have instructions to release
the prisoner Becker
44
00:02:37,050 --> 00:02:39,219
only on the written
personal orders
45
00:02:39,219 --> 00:02:40,804
of Reich's Fuhrer Muller.
46
00:02:40,846 --> 00:02:43,432
Are you aware of whose signature
is on these orders?
47
00:02:43,473 --> 00:02:44,766
Well, I read it.
48
00:02:44,808 --> 00:02:47,894
It's signed by Colonel
Hoganmeyer, Section Three.
49
00:02:47,936 --> 00:02:48,895
Well?
50
00:02:48,895 --> 00:02:50,397
Well, I can do nothing for you.
51
00:02:50,439 --> 00:02:53,567
Becker is a very special case.
52
00:02:53,567 --> 00:02:56,236
As a matter of fact,
we are going to transfer him
53
00:02:56,236 --> 00:02:58,697
to the hotel in town
for better security.
54
00:02:58,739 --> 00:03:01,992
We cannot return
to Berlin without him.
55
00:03:02,034 --> 00:03:04,077
Well, perhaps I could help you
56
00:03:04,077 --> 00:03:07,247
if I called and explained
the situation to your colonel.
57
00:03:07,289 --> 00:03:09,750
Now, what's the number?
58
00:03:09,791 --> 00:03:12,919
You're going to call
Colonel Hoganmeyer?
59
00:03:12,961 --> 00:03:15,505
He's going to call
Colonel Hoganmeyer.
60
00:03:19,593 --> 00:03:20,635
What's the matter?
61
00:03:20,677 --> 00:03:24,097
The last man who called
Colonel Hoganmeyer after hours
62
00:03:24,097 --> 00:03:27,142
is now a straw man
somewhere in Russia.
63
00:03:29,478 --> 00:03:31,021
Oh.
64
00:03:31,063 --> 00:03:32,981
Well, let's avoid that.
65
00:03:33,023 --> 00:03:35,609
Yes, it is better
if we return to Berlin
66
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:38,653
and, uh, let our colonel call
your Reich Fuhrer Muller.
67
00:03:38,695 --> 00:03:40,322
Good idea.
68
00:03:40,363 --> 00:03:42,324
I always say, "When in doubt,
69
00:03:42,365 --> 00:03:45,118
let the big boys fight it out
amongst themselves."
70
00:03:45,118 --> 00:03:46,495
I always say that.
71
00:03:46,536 --> 00:03:47,954
I really do.
72
00:03:47,996 --> 00:03:49,206
Heil Hilter.
73
00:03:49,247 --> 00:03:50,248
Heil Hitler.
74
00:03:50,290 --> 00:03:51,333
Heil Hitler.
75
00:03:52,626 --> 00:03:55,337
Uh, by the way, uh...
76
00:03:56,630 --> 00:04:01,301
Exactly who is this...
Colonel Hoganmeyer?
77
00:04:01,343 --> 00:04:03,303
Who is C...?
78
00:04:03,303 --> 00:04:06,640
He wants to know
who is Colonel Hoganmeyer.
79
00:04:08,308 --> 00:04:09,851
This must be
a new man.
80
00:04:11,102 --> 00:04:12,813
Heil Hitler!
81
00:04:12,813 --> 00:04:15,190
Imagine Hoganmeyer's
face when...
82
00:04:19,319 --> 00:04:20,654
Heil Hitler.
83
00:04:20,654 --> 00:04:21,655
Heil Hitler!
84
00:04:21,655 --> 00:04:23,156
Come along.
85
00:04:26,326 --> 00:04:28,328
Just got this in
from London, Colonel.
86
00:04:28,328 --> 00:04:30,163
Thanks, Kinch.
87
00:04:32,999 --> 00:04:35,335
"Don't understand failure
of Becker rescue.
88
00:04:35,335 --> 00:04:36,837
"Orders are try again.
89
00:04:36,837 --> 00:04:39,005
Will not accept
second failure."
90
00:04:39,005 --> 00:04:40,257
Yeah. How do you like that?
91
00:04:40,298 --> 00:04:41,842
How about those guys?
92
00:04:41,842 --> 00:04:44,511
We risk the firing squad,
and they get nasty.
93
00:04:44,553 --> 00:04:46,513
What do they think this
is, a Boy Scout jamboree?
94
00:04:46,555 --> 00:04:47,681
I mean, don't
they realize
95
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:49,349
we're in a P.O.W.
camp? That's right.
96
00:04:49,391 --> 00:04:51,184
Here I am, sewing
my fingers to the bone.
97
00:04:51,226 --> 00:04:53,395
Yeah, well, don't sew 'em
on my shirt.
98
00:04:53,436 --> 00:04:55,188
It' not very fair
of them in London.
99
00:04:55,188 --> 00:04:56,523
I mean, it's just
not very fair.
100
00:04:56,565 --> 00:04:57,524
Fair, schmair.
101
00:04:57,566 --> 00:04:58,733
We have to get
Becker out of there.
102
00:04:58,775 --> 00:05:00,110
What happens if we fail again?
103
00:05:00,151 --> 00:05:02,279
What can they do,
draft us?
104
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,613
Guten Tag, gentlemen.
105
00:05:03,655 --> 00:05:05,282
Heil Hitler!
Heil Hitler!
106
00:05:05,323 --> 00:05:06,950
What's the matter
with him?
107
00:05:06,992 --> 00:05:07,993
Sorry.
108
00:05:08,034 --> 00:05:10,537
Once I learn something,
I learn it.
109
00:05:10,537 --> 00:05:12,455
What's on your
mind, Schultz,
110
00:05:12,497 --> 00:05:13,790
besides apple
strudel?
111
00:05:13,832 --> 00:05:15,959
I have orders
from Commandant Klink...
112
00:05:16,001 --> 00:05:17,627
Our beloved commandant,
113
00:05:17,669 --> 00:05:19,796
if you will excuse
the expression.
114
00:05:19,838 --> 00:05:20,964
All right, what's
on his mind?
115
00:05:21,006 --> 00:05:22,465
There's a new general
116
00:05:22,507 --> 00:05:24,634
in command
of the military district.
117
00:05:24,676 --> 00:05:26,636
Tomorrow, he will be here
for inspection.
118
00:05:26,678 --> 00:05:27,971
I can hardly wait.
119
00:05:28,013 --> 00:05:31,558
The orders for the prisoners
are to clean up the barracks...
120
00:05:31,558 --> 00:05:34,978
"Clean up the compounds,
and clean up yourselves!"
121
00:05:35,020 --> 00:05:36,646
All right, look, Schultz,
we're not here
122
00:05:36,688 --> 00:05:38,231
to stand inspections
of every Kraut general
123
00:05:38,273 --> 00:05:39,941
in the army, you know.
124
00:05:39,983 --> 00:05:42,944
Wait a minute,
wait a minute!
125
00:05:42,986 --> 00:05:44,821
What do you think
how I feel about it?
126
00:05:44,863 --> 00:05:46,323
Do you think
it is fun for me?
127
00:05:46,364 --> 00:05:48,199
I have to be on my feet
all day long,
128
00:05:48,241 --> 00:05:50,994
and I carry
much more than you do.
129
00:05:51,036 --> 00:05:53,538
This is not exactly
whipped cream.
130
00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:54,998
That's how
it started.
131
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,041
Oh, jolly joke.
132
00:05:56,082 --> 00:05:57,709
Now, you have
your orders!
133
00:05:57,751 --> 00:06:00,045
No wonder
we cannot win a war.
134
00:06:00,086 --> 00:06:02,255
All we do
is inspect each other.
135
00:06:02,297 --> 00:06:03,631
Don't forget,
Schultz...
136
00:06:03,673 --> 00:06:05,800
"Clean up the barracks,
137
00:06:05,842 --> 00:06:10,013
clean up the compound,
clean up yourselves!"
138
00:06:16,019 --> 00:06:18,521
Achtung!
139
00:06:24,152 --> 00:06:26,988
Colonel Franz,
welcome to Stalag 13.
140
00:06:27,030 --> 00:06:29,199
General Kammler,
this is the camp commandant,
141
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:32,118
Colonel Wilhelm Klink.
142
00:06:32,118 --> 00:06:34,412
General Kammler, it is
an honor and a privilege
143
00:06:34,454 --> 00:06:36,122
to have you here
at Stalag 13.
144
00:06:36,122 --> 00:06:38,333
We welcome the opportunity
to offer you
145
00:06:38,374 --> 00:06:41,377
our simple
but sincere hospitality.
146
00:06:41,419 --> 00:06:43,296
Put your cap on straight.
147
00:06:43,338 --> 00:06:46,508
I'll put my cap on straight.
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
148
00:06:46,549 --> 00:06:50,053
In my command,
only active combat officers
149
00:06:50,095 --> 00:06:51,679
may wear their caps
at an angle.
150
00:06:51,721 --> 00:06:54,724
Yes, sir, I agree
with you completely.
151
00:06:54,766 --> 00:06:56,684
Only active combat officers.
152
00:06:56,726 --> 00:06:58,394
Perhaps you would like
a little refreshment?
153
00:06:58,436 --> 00:07:00,146
If you'll kindly step
this way, please.
154
00:07:07,946 --> 00:07:09,531
General, what is it?
155
00:07:09,572 --> 00:07:11,658
Are my eyes deceiving me?
156
00:07:11,658 --> 00:07:13,409
Oh, no, it couldn't be.
157
00:07:13,451 --> 00:07:15,328
That drill sergeant
standing over there.
158
00:07:15,370 --> 00:07:16,538
You mean Schultz?
159
00:07:16,579 --> 00:07:19,666
It is!
160
00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:21,501
Hans!
161
00:07:21,543 --> 00:07:23,419
Can it be?
162
00:07:23,461 --> 00:07:26,005
Ach du liebe!
163
00:07:26,005 --> 00:07:28,341
Lieutenant Kammler!
164
00:07:28,383 --> 00:07:30,301
Oh, my old comrade.
165
00:07:30,343 --> 00:07:31,553
Oh!
166
00:07:31,594 --> 00:07:32,679
Oh, how good
to see you.
167
00:07:32,679 --> 00:07:34,430
Oh, Lieutenant...!
168
00:07:34,472 --> 00:07:36,349
Oh, you are a general.
169
00:07:36,391 --> 00:07:38,935
Oh, yes, yes,
and you are a sergeant.
170
00:07:38,977 --> 00:07:41,062
Well, Germany makes
lots of mistakes.
171
00:07:41,104 --> 00:07:42,438
No mistake.
172
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,357
You were always
a very bright boy.
173
00:07:44,399 --> 00:07:46,693
We fought together
in the first war
174
00:07:46,693 --> 00:07:49,153
in the Ardennes
and at Liège.
175
00:07:49,195 --> 00:07:50,655
I was just
a young lieutenant.
176
00:07:50,697 --> 00:07:52,031
I didn't know
anything at all.
177
00:07:52,073 --> 00:07:53,408
Schultz saved my life.
178
00:07:53,449 --> 00:07:55,285
It was a pleasure,
Herr General.
179
00:07:55,326 --> 00:07:56,536
Charming.
180
00:07:56,536 --> 00:07:58,204
Yes, charming.
181
00:07:58,246 --> 00:08:01,291
Nice to see two old monsters
get together.
182
00:08:01,332 --> 00:08:02,917
And here we are, Hans...
183
00:08:02,959 --> 00:08:05,169
Two German soldiers
fighting another war.
184
00:08:05,211 --> 00:08:08,214
Keeps us out of trouble.
185
00:08:11,301 --> 00:08:12,802
Oh, you look well...
186
00:08:12,844 --> 00:08:15,013
but you've taken on
a little weight.
187
00:08:16,723 --> 00:08:18,641
You know how it is.
188
00:08:18,683 --> 00:08:21,811
I got older, but the
Wiener schnitzel gets younger.
189
00:08:21,853 --> 00:08:25,315
What are you doing
in this rat hole?
190
00:08:25,356 --> 00:08:26,649
Are you happy?
191
00:08:26,691 --> 00:08:28,985
Shall I arrange
a little transfer perhaps?
192
00:08:29,027 --> 00:08:33,114
Danke, Herr General, but it's
not such a bad rat hole.
193
00:08:33,156 --> 00:08:35,658
Better than the
Eastern front, huh?
194
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:36,618
Klink!
195
00:08:36,659 --> 00:08:37,994
Yes, sir?
196
00:08:38,036 --> 00:08:39,329
As you can see,
I have
197
00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:41,331
a very great personal interest
in Sergeant Schultz.
198
00:08:41,372 --> 00:08:44,000
Oh, he's one
of our very good men, sir.
199
00:08:44,042 --> 00:08:45,793
From now on,
he is your best man.
200
00:08:45,877 --> 00:08:47,462
He's my best man.
Yes, sir.
201
00:08:47,503 --> 00:08:49,297
I want regular reports
of his progress
202
00:08:49,339 --> 00:08:50,465
sent to me in Berlin.
203
00:08:50,506 --> 00:08:52,550
He's to have every
consideration
204
00:08:52,592 --> 00:08:53,968
within the limits
of military discipline.
205
00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:54,886
Understood?
Understood, sir.
206
00:08:54,927 --> 00:08:55,970
Good.
207
00:08:56,012 --> 00:08:57,680
Oh, Hans.
208
00:09:00,016 --> 00:09:02,435
Now, that's a surprise.
209
00:09:03,436 --> 00:09:05,438
Imagine a man
like Kammler
210
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,608
showing such affection
for that big tub of lard.
211
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:11,444
Kammler is one of the most
powerful generals we have...
212
00:09:11,486 --> 00:09:14,280
A personal favorite
of the Fuhrer himself.
213
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:15,782
Oh, I had no idea, sir.
214
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,450
Take my advice
and do as he says,
215
00:09:17,450 --> 00:09:18,785
or that big tub of lard
216
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,119
is going to be in command
of this camp,
217
00:09:20,161 --> 00:09:22,205
and you're going to be known
as Sergeant Klink.
218
00:09:23,331 --> 00:09:25,958
Colonel Hogan,
may I ask what's so funny?
219
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,295
It has a good sound to it:
Sergeant Klink.
220
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:33,716
I'm sorry, sir.
Bad taste.
221
00:09:35,593 --> 00:09:36,803
Herr Kommandant,
222
00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:38,554
Sergeant Schultz
reporting as ordered.
223
00:09:38,596 --> 00:09:39,639
Herr Kommandant,
224
00:09:39,639 --> 00:09:41,140
I'm terribly sorry
that the prisoners
225
00:09:41,182 --> 00:09:42,475
didn't make a
better showing
226
00:09:42,475 --> 00:09:43,643
for General Kammler.
227
00:09:43,643 --> 00:09:45,978
I told them
to clean up,
228
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,814
but they wouldn't
listen to me.
229
00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:50,149
Of course, it is
my responsibility, and...
230
00:09:50,191 --> 00:09:52,902
At ease, at ease,
at ease. Relax.
231
00:09:52,944 --> 00:09:54,487
Yes.
232
00:09:54,487 --> 00:09:55,822
You're not angry?
233
00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:56,823
No, of course not.
234
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,491
We all have
our bad days.
235
00:09:58,533 --> 00:10:02,245
Tell me, how are things
going with you, Hans?
236
00:10:03,329 --> 00:10:05,331
What's the matter?
237
00:10:05,373 --> 00:10:07,625
I thought
you called me Hans.
238
00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:09,669
I must have heard wrong.
No, no, no, I did.
239
00:10:09,669 --> 00:10:10,837
I did call you by
your first name,
240
00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:13,131
just like our good
friend General Kammler.
241
00:10:13,172 --> 00:10:14,507
Our good friend?
242
00:10:14,549 --> 00:10:16,008
Well, you know
what I mean.
243
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,344
Here, Hans, sit
down, sit down.
244
00:10:18,344 --> 00:10:20,346
Please.
245
00:10:20,388 --> 00:10:23,683
Now, tell me,
how are you getting along?
246
00:10:23,683 --> 00:10:25,685
Is there anything
you need?
247
00:10:25,685 --> 00:10:28,521
You're asking me
if I need anything?
248
00:10:28,563 --> 00:10:33,693
Yes. As your colonel,
I am here to serve.
249
00:10:33,693 --> 00:10:36,529
Sir, uh... do you
feel all right?
250
00:10:36,529 --> 00:10:38,197
Of course!
251
00:10:38,197 --> 00:10:39,532
You see, Schultz,
252
00:10:39,574 --> 00:10:42,702
I am one of those officers
who recognizes
253
00:10:42,702 --> 00:10:45,037
that the army
could not function
254
00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:46,706
without a sergeant
like you.
255
00:10:46,706 --> 00:10:48,708
It couldn't?
Oh, no.
256
00:10:48,708 --> 00:10:51,294
But, of course,
a sergeant functions best
257
00:10:51,335 --> 00:10:54,672
with an intelligent
and humane commanding officer.
258
00:10:54,797 --> 00:10:55,715
Who is that?
259
00:10:57,633 --> 00:11:00,887
I like an under-officer
with a sense of humor.
260
00:11:00,887 --> 00:11:02,305
Schultz,
what I'm trying to say
261
00:11:02,346 --> 00:11:04,891
is that you and I make
a good team.
262
00:11:04,891 --> 00:11:06,517
We do.
263
00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:07,643
Yes, we do.
264
00:11:07,685 --> 00:11:09,562
And teamwork is...
265
00:11:09,604 --> 00:11:12,565
Oh, please.
266
00:11:12,565 --> 00:11:14,692
Teamwork is everything.
267
00:11:14,734 --> 00:11:15,902
Remember...
268
00:11:15,902 --> 00:11:18,946
we were the men
that took Poland in 23 days.
269
00:11:18,988 --> 00:11:21,115
I was at home with my wife.
270
00:11:21,157 --> 00:11:23,034
It's just a figure of speech.
271
00:11:23,075 --> 00:11:25,411
As a matter of fact, I was
in Berlin at that time myself.
272
00:11:25,453 --> 00:11:27,079
But...
273
00:11:27,079 --> 00:11:28,664
in our spirit,
274
00:11:28,706 --> 00:11:30,666
we marched across Europe.
275
00:11:30,708 --> 00:11:33,085
Now, in the future,
276
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:37,048
I think we should become
even more of a team.
277
00:11:37,089 --> 00:11:40,926
So from now on,
if you have any problems,
278
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:44,138
I want you
to bring them to me.
279
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:52,146
Danke.
Dismissed.
280
00:11:54,899 --> 00:11:56,442
Oh, Schultz, wait.
281
00:11:56,484 --> 00:11:59,111
"Dismissed" seems
such a harsh word.
282
00:11:59,111 --> 00:12:03,824
Let us rather say, uh,
auf Wiedersehen.
283
00:12:03,866 --> 00:12:05,951
Auf Wiedersehen.
284
00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:09,330
Schultz...
285
00:12:11,791 --> 00:12:13,292
Would you care for a cigar?
286
00:12:13,292 --> 00:12:15,461
Ja.
287
00:12:17,296 --> 00:12:19,840
But you wouldn't slam
the cover on my fingers
288
00:12:19,882 --> 00:12:21,467
like the last time?
289
00:12:21,509 --> 00:12:22,927
I promise, I promise.
290
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:37,983
Attention!
291
00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:41,153
Chest out! Stomach in!
292
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,489
It's a good thing
293
00:12:43,531 --> 00:12:45,491
that your uniform
was in order.
294
00:12:45,533 --> 00:12:47,827
Otherwise, I would have
to report you,
295
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:52,331
and believe me,
I would do it if necessary.
296
00:12:52,373 --> 00:12:54,500
As you know,
the army cannot function
297
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:57,670
without sergeants like me.
298
00:12:57,711 --> 00:13:03,634
Of course, I try
to be very humane.
299
00:13:03,676 --> 00:13:06,303
If you have
any personal problems,
300
00:13:06,345 --> 00:13:09,807
please, tell them to me.
301
00:13:09,849 --> 00:13:12,143
Chest out!
Stomach in!
302
00:13:12,184 --> 00:13:13,644
Chin up!
303
00:13:13,686 --> 00:13:15,646
All right, this is it.
You know what to do.
304
00:13:15,688 --> 00:13:16,897
Oui, Colonel.
305
00:13:16,939 --> 00:13:18,315
We'll give it a
good try, sir.
306
00:13:18,357 --> 00:13:19,358
I just hope
those Krauts
307
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,026
up in the towers don't
get their wind up
308
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:22,111
and start shooting.
309
00:13:22,153 --> 00:13:23,737
Be over before they know
what happened.
310
00:13:23,821 --> 00:13:25,281
Schultz is
in the right spot.
311
00:13:25,322 --> 00:13:26,699
Let's go.
All right.
312
00:13:26,699 --> 00:13:27,700
One, two, three,
313
00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:29,368
one, two, three,
one, two, three...
314
00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:30,828
Hey, LeBeau, give
us a cigarette?
315
00:13:30,870 --> 00:13:32,163
I have no cigarettes
for you.
316
00:13:32,204 --> 00:13:33,831
Leave me alone. What's
the matter with you?
317
00:13:33,873 --> 00:13:34,832
All I did was ask.
318
00:13:34,874 --> 00:13:37,042
You're always asking
for things!
319
00:13:37,042 --> 00:13:39,211
Well, I give you
plenty of things, don't I?
320
00:13:39,211 --> 00:13:40,337
I've had it with you,
321
00:13:40,379 --> 00:13:42,047
and I've had it
with this place!
322
00:13:42,047 --> 00:13:43,215
I can't stand it
anymore!
323
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:44,425
I don't care
what they do to me.
324
00:13:44,466 --> 00:13:45,968
I'm going home now!
325
00:13:46,010 --> 00:13:47,344
Take it easy, mon ami.
326
00:13:47,386 --> 00:13:48,512
Take it easy.
327
00:13:48,554 --> 00:13:49,597
Get your hands off me!
328
00:13:49,638 --> 00:13:51,182
I've had it!
Open the gates!
329
00:13:51,223 --> 00:13:52,683
I'm going home now!
330
00:13:59,982 --> 00:14:01,233
Please let me go home,
Schultz.
331
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:02,943
Please let me go home.
I want to go home.
332
00:14:02,985 --> 00:14:04,570
I can't stand it
anymore here. Please...
333
00:14:04,570 --> 00:14:06,906
They waltz together
beautifully.
334
00:14:06,906 --> 00:14:08,365
Please, Schultz.
Schultzy, please.
335
00:14:08,407 --> 00:14:09,700
You know how.
Please let me go home.
336
00:14:09,742 --> 00:14:11,952
I can't stand it anymore.
I want to get out of here.
337
00:14:11,994 --> 00:14:13,120
If it hadn't been
338
00:14:13,162 --> 00:14:14,121
for Sergeant Schultz,
339
00:14:14,163 --> 00:14:15,331
who knows what
might've happened?
340
00:14:15,372 --> 00:14:16,957
Thank you for stopping
the prisoner.
341
00:14:16,999 --> 00:14:18,334
He ran into me.
342
00:14:18,375 --> 00:14:19,543
He's so modest.
343
00:14:19,585 --> 00:14:20,669
How could
he miss me?
344
00:14:20,711 --> 00:14:22,671
You don't realize
that you're a hero.
345
00:14:22,713 --> 00:14:23,672
Me a hero?
346
00:14:23,714 --> 00:14:24,673
That's ridiculous.
347
00:14:24,715 --> 00:14:26,926
Yes, I wouldn't go that far.
348
00:14:26,926 --> 00:14:27,927
Of course you wouldn't,
349
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,303
but if that man
had reached the gates,
350
00:14:29,345 --> 00:14:30,763
your guards might
have opened fire.
351
00:14:30,763 --> 00:14:32,973
Could've been panic
among the prisoners.
352
00:14:33,015 --> 00:14:34,391
Maybe I am a hero.
353
00:14:34,433 --> 00:14:36,769
I want you to make
an official report
354
00:14:36,769 --> 00:14:38,771
of this incident at once!
355
00:14:38,812 --> 00:14:40,189
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
356
00:14:40,230 --> 00:14:42,399
Dismissed!
357
00:14:42,441 --> 00:14:44,944
What happened to
auf Wiedersehen?
358
00:14:44,944 --> 00:14:49,198
I said dismissed.
359
00:14:49,239 --> 00:14:51,867
I wasn't a
hero very long.
360
00:14:54,078 --> 00:14:55,120
Hogan,
361
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,539
in the future,
would you let me deal
362
00:14:57,581 --> 00:15:00,042
with my own men in my own way?
363
00:15:00,084 --> 00:15:01,126
Sorry, sir.
364
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,795
And I will not have you give
365
00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:04,296
Sergeant Schultz
a false impression
366
00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:05,631
of his own importance.
367
00:15:05,631 --> 00:15:06,799
You're absolutely right.
368
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,301
Any commendation should come
from General Kammler.
369
00:15:09,301 --> 00:15:12,054
Yes, and in the future, I...
370
00:15:12,096 --> 00:15:14,306
What has General Kammler
to do with this?
371
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:15,307
It's a cinch
he's going
372
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:16,308
to hear about this.
373
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:17,810
He'll want to reward
his old buddy.
374
00:15:17,810 --> 00:15:18,936
Over my head?
375
00:15:18,977 --> 00:15:19,937
I'm the commanding
officer here.
376
00:15:19,978 --> 00:15:21,313
What's wrong with me?
377
00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:24,483
Sir, I'm not exactly
a psychiatrist, but I'd say...
378
00:15:24,483 --> 00:15:25,943
General Kammler
would never do
379
00:15:25,984 --> 00:15:27,319
a thing like
that to me.
380
00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:28,654
Yes, he would.
381
00:15:28,696 --> 00:15:30,322
Why don't you beat
the general to it
382
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,657
and give the award yourself?
383
00:15:31,699 --> 00:15:32,866
For stopping an escape?
384
00:15:32,908 --> 00:15:33,867
That's his job.
385
00:15:33,909 --> 00:15:36,328
You're absolutely right.
Forget it.
386
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:37,830
And if General Kammler...
As big as he is,
387
00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:39,456
the Fuhrer's
personal favorite...
388
00:15:39,498 --> 00:15:41,792
Thinks he can come
to Stalag 13 and run this camp
389
00:15:41,834 --> 00:15:45,212
and dictate your actions,
he's got another guess coming.
390
00:15:45,254 --> 00:15:47,005
Exactly.
391
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,006
What's the reward?
392
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:50,676
A medal for heroism
and a raise in grade.
393
00:15:50,718 --> 00:15:53,345
A medal for heroism
and a raise in grade.
394
00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:54,847
Invite the general
to come here
395
00:15:54,888 --> 00:15:56,306
to present the
award himself.
396
00:15:56,348 --> 00:15:57,641
Invite the general
to come here
397
00:15:57,683 --> 00:15:58,976
and present the award
himself.
398
00:15:59,017 --> 00:16:00,853
With a nice party
at the hotel in town.
399
00:16:00,853 --> 00:16:02,980
With a nice party
in the hotel in town.
400
00:16:03,021 --> 00:16:04,648
Oh, that's an excellent idea.
401
00:16:04,690 --> 00:16:07,151
I shall get in touch with
Colonel Franz's aide at once.
402
00:16:07,192 --> 00:16:08,777
Oh, Hogan, I'm so glad
I thought of it.
403
00:16:08,819 --> 00:16:10,571
So am I.
404
00:16:11,655 --> 00:16:13,365
How do you explain
that, Colonel?
405
00:16:13,365 --> 00:16:14,533
There's a shortage
of everything
406
00:16:14,533 --> 00:16:16,160
in Germany today,
including waiters.
407
00:16:16,201 --> 00:16:18,078
I go along 'cause I'm
responsible for you.
408
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,538
Very nice,
indeed.
409
00:16:19,538 --> 00:16:20,539
All right,
now, listen.
410
00:16:20,581 --> 00:16:21,790
According to
the underground,
411
00:16:21,832 --> 00:16:23,167
the Krauts are
holding Becker
412
00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:24,877
in one of these
rooms here.
413
00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:26,545
LeBEAU: And the place
is lousy with guards.
414
00:16:26,545 --> 00:16:27,671
Right.
415
00:16:27,713 --> 00:16:29,548
There's one here
at the stairway,
416
00:16:29,548 --> 00:16:31,967
one patrolling the
corridor upstairs here.
417
00:16:32,009 --> 00:16:34,303
Now, Kinch, you'll
be outside here.
418
00:16:34,344 --> 00:16:35,637
As soon as we
snatch Becker,
419
00:16:35,679 --> 00:16:37,014
get him started to the
coast by the usual route.
420
00:16:37,055 --> 00:16:38,348
Right, Colonel.
421
00:16:38,390 --> 00:16:39,475
Carter, what
about you?
422
00:16:39,516 --> 00:16:40,642
Oh, the smoke bombs
are all set,
423
00:16:40,684 --> 00:16:41,643
and they're beauties.
424
00:16:41,685 --> 00:16:43,645
Now, you take your average,
basic smoke bomb...
425
00:16:43,687 --> 00:16:45,522
All right, Carter.
426
00:16:45,564 --> 00:16:47,608
Fellows, let's make
this the nicest party
427
00:16:47,649 --> 00:16:49,067
the Germans
have ever had.
428
00:16:57,367 --> 00:16:59,328
Oh, would you care
for a drink, Herr General?
429
00:16:59,369 --> 00:17:01,246
I never use alcohol
for anything
430
00:17:01,246 --> 00:17:02,623
but medicinal
purposes.
431
00:17:02,664 --> 00:17:04,041
Medicinal, yeah.
432
00:17:09,504 --> 00:17:12,090
I don't feel so good.
433
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:14,760
Feel better
now, Schultz?
434
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,803
Ugh. Tastes terrible,
435
00:17:16,845 --> 00:17:19,097
but-but what do you expect
from medicine?
436
00:17:44,456 --> 00:17:46,124
Cigarette?
437
00:17:56,677 --> 00:17:58,261
Attention, please.
438
00:17:58,303 --> 00:17:59,972
May I have
your attention, please?
439
00:17:59,972 --> 00:18:01,765
Gentlemen...
440
00:18:01,807 --> 00:18:02,766
and ladies...
441
00:18:02,808 --> 00:18:04,267
we are here tonight
442
00:18:04,309 --> 00:18:06,812
for a very special ceremony.
443
00:18:06,812 --> 00:18:10,190
I have the great honor
to present to you
444
00:18:10,232 --> 00:18:14,736
one of the leading military
minds of the Third Reich,
445
00:18:14,778 --> 00:18:16,405
General Kammler.
446
00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:23,412
Thank you.
447
00:18:27,833 --> 00:18:31,169
As, uh, the colonel
has indicated,
448
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,672
we are gathered here
for a very special purpose:
449
00:18:33,672 --> 00:18:38,510
to honor a man who has been my
friend for more than 20 years.
450
00:18:38,510 --> 00:18:40,679
He served the Fatherland
in two wars,
451
00:18:40,721 --> 00:18:43,223
risking his life
on more than one occasion.
452
00:18:43,265 --> 00:18:45,225
In fact, we are
gathered here tonight
453
00:18:45,267 --> 00:18:48,186
to acknowledge
his most recent act of heroism.
454
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,689
At great personal risk,
455
00:18:50,731 --> 00:18:52,816
he stopped what could have been
a mass escape
456
00:18:52,858 --> 00:18:55,694
of prisoners from Stalag 13.
457
00:18:55,694 --> 00:18:56,778
The medal, please.
458
00:19:00,782 --> 00:19:02,242
Sergeant Schultz.
459
00:19:02,284 --> 00:19:04,661
Go ahead, Schultz.
460
00:19:08,749 --> 00:19:10,792
Sergeant Hans Schultz,
461
00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:15,881
it is now my great privilege
to award you the Iron Cross...
462
00:19:15,881 --> 00:19:17,549
Fourth Grade.
463
00:19:23,013 --> 00:19:24,055
Hey, Colonel,
the lights.
464
00:19:24,055 --> 00:19:25,599
Somebody turn on
the lights, please.
465
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:26,933
I don't know!
466
00:19:26,975 --> 00:19:28,977
What's the matter?
467
00:19:29,019 --> 00:19:30,896
What happened?
468
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,231
There's a fire
over by the drapes.
469
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,233
Fire! Fire!
470
00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:37,444
Over here!
The whole place is going up!
471
00:19:37,486 --> 00:19:38,528
The drape's on fire.
472
00:19:38,570 --> 00:19:40,238
Men, put that out quickly
at once, hurry!
473
00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:49,372
There's a fire
right here.
474
00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:54,628
Water. Water!
475
00:19:54,669 --> 00:19:56,546
Get the water carriers, quickly.
476
00:19:56,588 --> 00:19:58,465
Put that fire
out here, Colonel.
477
00:19:58,507 --> 00:20:00,467
Put that fire out
here, Colonel.
478
00:20:00,509 --> 00:20:02,260
Fire over here,
Colonel.
479
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,721
Somebody get
the fire bucket!
480
00:20:09,184 --> 00:20:10,143
Halt!
481
00:20:10,185 --> 00:20:12,145
There's a terrible fire
downstairs.
482
00:20:12,187 --> 00:20:13,271
The hotel is going up!
483
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,314
It is terrible,
the smoke...
484
00:20:20,070 --> 00:20:21,029
Very nice, indeed.
485
00:20:21,071 --> 00:20:22,572
Thank you, sir.
Practice.
486
00:20:22,614 --> 00:20:24,032
Becker?
487
00:20:24,074 --> 00:20:25,992
Becker?
488
00:20:26,034 --> 00:20:27,202
Becker?
489
00:20:28,286 --> 00:20:29,663
Danke.
490
00:20:29,704 --> 00:20:32,082
Here.
Danke.
491
00:20:33,291 --> 00:20:34,542
Danke!
492
00:20:35,794 --> 00:20:38,046
Danke.
493
00:20:38,088 --> 00:20:40,048
Danke.
494
00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:43,468
Danke.
495
00:20:43,468 --> 00:20:46,346
Water! Water!
496
00:20:46,388 --> 00:20:47,597
Right now!
497
00:20:47,639 --> 00:20:49,307
Lots of water!
498
00:20:49,307 --> 00:20:50,058
I said
499
00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:51,059
I want some wa...
500
00:20:54,688 --> 00:20:56,231
Thank you.
501
00:21:02,070 --> 00:21:04,072
That's it! More water
by the drapes.
502
00:21:14,624 --> 00:21:16,793
Ah, I told you it'd
be a nice party.
503
00:21:17,002 --> 00:21:18,545
Wait here.
504
00:21:24,342 --> 00:21:25,635
Come on, Sch...
505
00:21:25,677 --> 00:21:26,928
Oh, now we're
getting it.
506
00:21:38,023 --> 00:21:39,899
Good! Everything
is under control.
507
00:21:42,193 --> 00:21:43,570
Hold it, hold it.
508
00:21:48,867 --> 00:21:50,785
Ah, at last!
It's about time.
509
00:21:50,827 --> 00:21:51,786
Herr Colonel!
510
00:21:51,828 --> 00:21:52,996
Our prisoner
has been kidnapped
511
00:21:53,037 --> 00:21:54,038
by the underground.
512
00:21:54,873 --> 00:21:55,874
The fire.
513
00:21:55,915 --> 00:21:57,041
It must have been
a diversion.
514
00:21:57,041 --> 00:21:58,668
Yes, a diversion,
a diversion.
515
00:21:58,710 --> 00:22:00,336
Brilliant deduction.
516
00:22:00,378 --> 00:22:02,672
And where are the men
from Stalag 13?
517
00:22:02,714 --> 00:22:03,673
Gone!
518
00:22:03,715 --> 00:22:04,674
No one has
ever escaped
519
00:22:04,716 --> 00:22:05,675
from Stalag 13.
520
00:22:05,717 --> 00:22:07,469
Klink, you fool,
this is all your fault
521
00:22:07,510 --> 00:22:08,887
for holding these ceremonies
in a public place
522
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:10,930
and bringing
prisoners of war here.
523
00:22:10,972 --> 00:22:12,932
You are relieved
of your command
524
00:22:12,974 --> 00:22:14,392
on neglect of duty.
525
00:22:14,434 --> 00:22:15,602
But I've done
nothing, sir.
526
00:22:15,643 --> 00:22:16,811
Exactly.
527
00:22:16,853 --> 00:22:17,771
Colonel?
528
00:22:17,812 --> 00:22:18,605
Hogan.
529
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,985
LeBEAU:
Don't shoot!
530
00:22:24,027 --> 00:22:25,737
Don't shoot! Don't
shoot! Schultz.
531
00:22:25,779 --> 00:22:27,947
Schultz.
532
00:22:27,989 --> 00:22:29,324
Who's shooting?
533
00:22:29,365 --> 00:22:30,742
He's too tough.
We give up.
534
00:22:30,742 --> 00:22:32,952
We never had a chance...
Not with him around.
535
00:22:32,994 --> 00:22:35,538
Captured the prisoners.
Good work, Sergeant.
536
00:22:35,580 --> 00:22:37,707
Yes, good work,
Sergeant.
537
00:22:37,749 --> 00:22:40,335
Well, never fear while
Sergeant Schultz is here.
538
00:22:40,376 --> 00:22:43,254
Hans, you really are
a hero.
539
00:22:44,422 --> 00:22:45,757
You know something?
540
00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:49,260
I'm beginning
to believe it myself.
541
00:22:56,601 --> 00:22:58,186
Yes, Herr Colonel,
I understand.
542
00:22:58,228 --> 00:22:59,437
Yes?
543
00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:01,773
What a pity.
544
00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:03,191
Thank you, sir.
545
00:23:03,233 --> 00:23:05,360
Yes, Heil Hitler.
546
00:23:05,401 --> 00:23:07,237
Good news, Colonel?
Yes.
547
00:23:07,278 --> 00:23:09,113
Our friend General Kammler
548
00:23:09,113 --> 00:23:11,032
has been transferred
to the Eastern front.
549
00:23:11,074 --> 00:23:12,617
Well, we all got to go sometime.
550
00:23:13,785 --> 00:23:16,579
Gentlemen...
551
00:23:16,621 --> 00:23:19,749
Ooh... my feet
are killing me.
552
00:23:19,958 --> 00:23:21,084
Schultz, no.
553
00:23:21,125 --> 00:23:23,461
What do you mean, no?
They are my feet.
554
00:23:25,213 --> 00:23:28,633
Valuable man like me
should not be walking a post.
555
00:23:28,633 --> 00:23:32,136
Sergeant Schultz, what exactly
did you have in mind?
556
00:23:32,178 --> 00:23:36,140
An office of my own
where the men can report to me.
557
00:23:36,140 --> 00:23:37,976
Schultz, please.
558
00:23:37,976 --> 00:23:39,644
Stay out of this, Hogan.
559
00:23:39,644 --> 00:23:42,397
Sometimes you forget
you're a prisoner.
560
00:23:42,438 --> 00:23:45,149
And a colonel, like me.
561
00:23:45,191 --> 00:23:47,193
War is crazy.
562
00:23:48,778 --> 00:23:50,780
How is your paperwork
getting along?
563
00:23:50,822 --> 00:23:54,492
Any little problem
I could help you with?
564
00:23:54,492 --> 00:23:55,952
Ow!
565
00:23:57,829 --> 00:24:00,665
Schultz, your friend
and protector, General Kammler,
566
00:24:00,707 --> 00:24:02,709
has been sent
to the Eastern front.
567
00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:05,962
Sergeant Schultz
reporting for duty, sir!
568
00:24:06,004 --> 00:24:07,672
I did not order you to report.
569
00:24:07,672 --> 00:24:09,382
Yes, sir!
570
00:24:09,424 --> 00:24:10,883
Why didn't you tell me?
571
00:24:10,925 --> 00:24:12,176
Silence, Schultz!
572
00:24:12,176 --> 00:24:13,720
You're dismissed.
573
00:24:16,931 --> 00:24:18,391
Schultz...
574
00:24:18,433 --> 00:24:20,351
you can always write
to General Kammler.
575
00:24:20,393 --> 00:24:21,894
He's still a very
big man in Berlin.
576
00:24:21,936 --> 00:24:23,855
Yes, he's still
a very big...
577
00:24:23,855 --> 00:24:27,233
Wait a minute,
Schultz.
578
00:24:27,275 --> 00:24:29,569
Perhaps the word
"dismissed"
579
00:24:29,610 --> 00:24:32,030
is a little harsh.
580
00:24:32,071 --> 00:24:34,198
Sir, I understand.
581
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,700
Auf Wiedersehen.
582
00:24:35,742 --> 00:24:38,202
Auf Wiedersehen.
39803
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