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1
00:00:52,104 --> 00:00:54,398
Nein, nein, nein,
nein, nein, Fraulein.
2
00:00:54,439 --> 00:00:56,233
Oh, but it's
such nice, fresh milk
3
00:00:56,274 --> 00:00:57,234
right from the farm.
4
00:00:57,275 --> 00:00:58,235
And nein, Fraulein.
5
00:00:58,276 --> 00:00:59,736
It is verboten.
6
00:00:59,778 --> 00:01:01,571
Only a few fenigs
a glass.
7
00:01:01,613 --> 00:01:03,240
Hey, what's going on,
Schultz?
8
00:01:03,281 --> 00:01:04,825
She wants to
sell some milk.
9
00:01:05,951 --> 00:01:07,744
No, no, no, no,
back, back, back,
10
00:01:07,786 --> 00:01:09,079
back, back, back!
11
00:01:09,121 --> 00:01:10,580
You know
it's against regulations.
12
00:01:10,622 --> 00:01:12,416
No civilian
is allowed in camp.
13
00:01:12,457 --> 00:01:15,502
She's not a civilian,
Schultz, she's a girl.
14
00:01:15,502 --> 00:01:16,962
They're the best kind, Schultzy.
15
00:01:17,004 --> 00:01:19,172
Yeah, come on, Schultz,
forget the regulations.
16
00:01:19,214 --> 00:01:22,009
Yeah, Sergeant,
what possible harm could I do?
17
00:01:22,009 --> 00:01:25,637
A big strong man like you,
afraid of me?
18
00:01:25,679 --> 00:01:27,681
Oh, shucks.
19
00:01:27,681 --> 00:01:30,142
"Aw, shucks"
from the Kraut?
20
00:01:30,183 --> 00:01:31,476
I-I taught him that.
21
00:01:31,518 --> 00:01:33,520
I also taught him,
"Gee whillikers."
22
00:01:33,562 --> 00:01:35,188
Please?
23
00:01:35,230 --> 00:01:37,524
Come on, Schultz.
24
00:01:37,566 --> 00:01:40,360
All right, ten minutes.
25
00:01:40,402 --> 00:01:42,529
Okay, sir, thank you.
But only ten minutes!
26
00:01:42,571 --> 00:01:44,072
All right, thank you,
Schultzy. Thanks, Schultz.
27
00:01:44,114 --> 00:01:46,074
I don't know what
it is, but, uh...
28
00:01:46,116 --> 00:01:50,454
beautiful girls
cannot resist me.
29
00:01:50,495 --> 00:01:53,707
No, no, no, Schultz, you mean
you just can't resist them.
30
00:01:53,707 --> 00:01:56,251
I like it my
way better.
31
00:02:00,172 --> 00:02:02,424
I have some
for the lot of you.
32
00:02:02,466 --> 00:02:05,135
Here we go, here
we go, have some.
33
00:02:07,888 --> 00:02:08,722
What are you doing?
34
00:02:08,764 --> 00:02:10,390
Give that note to Colonel Hogan.
35
00:02:10,432 --> 00:02:11,892
It's very important.
36
00:02:11,933 --> 00:02:14,102
Why'd you put that note
in my milk for?
37
00:02:14,144 --> 00:02:15,520
Shh, the guards are watching us.
38
00:02:15,562 --> 00:02:16,897
Did you see that?
She put that note right...
39
00:02:16,897 --> 00:02:19,065
Carter, just
don't gripe.
40
00:02:19,107 --> 00:02:20,734
Just give the
note to Hogan.
41
00:02:20,776 --> 00:02:23,361
But she put it right...
Carter.
42
00:02:23,653 --> 00:02:25,113
Okay.
43
00:02:25,155 --> 00:02:28,200
Thanks, Fraulein, ma'am.
44
00:02:30,285 --> 00:02:32,621
"At 10:00 tonight,
woods,
45
00:02:32,662 --> 00:02:34,581
"sector Y-14.
46
00:02:34,581 --> 00:02:36,583
Meet important
contact."
47
00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:39,586
The signature is
Robinson Crusoe.
48
00:02:39,586 --> 00:02:41,296
Hey, that's the code name
for a commando.
49
00:02:41,338 --> 00:02:42,589
If she's a commando,
50
00:02:42,589 --> 00:02:44,424
I like the way
this war is going.
51
00:02:44,424 --> 00:02:47,594
My guess is somebody was dropped
in and got lost on a mission.
52
00:02:47,636 --> 00:02:49,763
So Robinson Crusoe used
the underground
53
00:02:49,763 --> 00:02:50,931
to get in touch with us?
54
00:02:50,931 --> 00:02:53,266
I read Robinson Crusoe
when I was a kid.
55
00:02:53,266 --> 00:02:56,353
There's a fascinating bit
of news.
56
00:02:56,394 --> 00:02:57,646
I don't like it.
57
00:02:57,687 --> 00:03:00,941
London usually notifies us
in advance of commando activity.
58
00:03:00,941 --> 00:03:02,359
I don't like it.
59
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,528
Fine, then let's forget
the rendezvous.
60
00:03:04,569 --> 00:03:06,321
On the other hand,
it could be on the level.
61
00:03:06,363 --> 00:03:07,447
Well, let's
take a vote.
62
00:03:07,447 --> 00:03:08,448
I say no.
63
00:03:08,448 --> 00:03:09,449
Definitely no.
64
00:03:09,449 --> 00:03:10,951
No.
No.
65
00:03:10,992 --> 00:03:12,953
We'll make contact
10:00 tonight.
66
00:03:12,953 --> 00:03:14,663
Hey, I demand a recount.
67
00:03:14,704 --> 00:03:16,623
Write to your congressman.
68
00:03:20,293 --> 00:03:22,963
One, two, three...
69
00:03:22,963 --> 00:03:24,631
Forget it.
70
00:03:49,614 --> 00:03:51,408
What's the
action, Kinch?
71
00:03:51,449 --> 00:03:53,576
Oh, it's all clear
outside the wire, Colonel,
72
00:03:53,618 --> 00:03:55,704
right into the woods,
and Schultz is asleep.
73
00:03:55,745 --> 00:03:58,039
He's sitting against a tree.
74
00:03:58,081 --> 00:03:59,416
Condition normal.
75
00:03:59,457 --> 00:04:00,750
Do you see any dogs?
76
00:04:00,792 --> 00:04:03,670
The dogs are guarding Schultz.
77
00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:06,506
All right, look,
let's play this cozy.
78
00:04:06,506 --> 00:04:08,967
Give me 15 minutes' start,
then follow.
79
00:04:09,009 --> 00:04:10,760
Keep the noise down.
Good luck.
80
00:04:11,011 --> 00:04:12,512
Thank you.
81
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:39,289
Shh.
82
00:04:39,330 --> 00:04:41,791
He's sleeping.
83
00:04:44,127 --> 00:04:46,629
Thank you, liebchen.
84
00:04:46,671 --> 00:04:48,506
Anytime.
85
00:04:53,094 --> 00:04:56,639
No, it couldn't be.
86
00:05:04,022 --> 00:05:05,190
Colonel Hogan.
87
00:05:06,441 --> 00:05:07,233
Myra?
88
00:05:14,574 --> 00:05:15,742
You came alone?
89
00:05:15,784 --> 00:05:17,535
Yeah. Where's
Robinson Crusoe?
90
00:05:17,577 --> 00:05:18,995
Oh, you'll meet him
in due time,
91
00:05:19,037 --> 00:05:21,581
but first, there are certain
precautions we must take.
92
00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:25,460
You're under arrest.
93
00:05:25,502 --> 00:05:26,753
Gestapo.
94
00:05:26,795 --> 00:05:28,671
Some precaution.
95
00:05:28,713 --> 00:05:30,882
Your gun.
96
00:05:32,592 --> 00:05:34,052
My car is parked
on the road.
97
00:05:34,093 --> 00:05:36,387
We walk to it very slowly
and carefully.
98
00:05:36,429 --> 00:05:39,599
Serves me right for
going on a blind date.
99
00:05:42,644 --> 00:05:44,562
Stand still
and don't say a word.
100
00:05:46,773 --> 00:05:48,316
Hey, there's
the colonel.
101
00:05:48,358 --> 00:05:49,776
And the bird
as well.
102
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,611
Boy, I hope she's got
some milk with her.
103
00:05:51,653 --> 00:05:52,820
I'm thirsty.
104
00:05:54,531 --> 00:05:55,907
You did not come alone.
105
00:05:55,949 --> 00:05:57,408
I'm a terrible liar.
106
00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:59,285
Well, tell them
to throw down their weapons,
107
00:05:59,285 --> 00:06:01,913
or my first shot
will be for you in your back.
108
00:06:01,955 --> 00:06:04,123
Make up your mind.
109
00:06:04,123 --> 00:06:06,918
Decisions,
always decisions.
110
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,127
Ah, bonjour,
mademoiselle.
111
00:06:08,127 --> 00:06:09,754
Hi, there, Fraulein.
Guten Abend, my dear.
112
00:06:09,796 --> 00:06:10,880
Hold it right there.
113
00:06:10,922 --> 00:06:11,839
Throw down your guns.
114
00:06:13,633 --> 00:06:15,218
You heard me.
Throw 'em down.
115
00:06:15,260 --> 00:06:16,386
I won't give up my
gun. The whole place
116
00:06:16,427 --> 00:06:17,595
is crawling with Krauts.
What is that?
117
00:06:17,637 --> 00:06:19,472
Throw them down, or
your milkmaid friend
118
00:06:19,472 --> 00:06:21,474
is going to shoot
me in the back.
119
00:06:21,474 --> 00:06:23,518
What good is
half a colonel?
120
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,311
See, it was a trap.
121
00:06:25,353 --> 00:06:27,814
Correction: is a trap,
and we're in it.
122
00:06:27,814 --> 00:06:29,357
Blimey,
we've been shopped.
123
00:06:29,399 --> 00:06:30,775
Get rid of the guns.
124
00:06:33,236 --> 00:06:36,823
Boy, what a war.
You can't trust anybody.
125
00:06:42,912 --> 00:06:45,123
Okay, lady, so far, you've
been a barrel of laughs.
126
00:06:45,164 --> 00:06:46,374
Now what do you
want with us?
127
00:06:46,416 --> 00:06:48,376
Yeah, I'm sleepy.
I want to go back to camp.
128
00:06:48,459 --> 00:06:49,919
All you'll get
out of us
129
00:06:49,961 --> 00:06:51,421
is name, rank
and serial number.
130
00:06:51,462 --> 00:06:52,588
I'll promise you that.
131
00:06:52,630 --> 00:06:54,757
We may not even give you
a serial number.
132
00:06:58,303 --> 00:07:01,723
Good evening, gentlemen.
133
00:07:04,642 --> 00:07:08,146
I'm Major Hegel,
"Robinson Crusoe."
134
00:07:10,064 --> 00:07:12,275
You've done very
well, my dear.
135
00:07:12,525 --> 00:07:13,526
Danke.
136
00:07:13,526 --> 00:07:15,361
Real chummy, ain't we?
137
00:07:15,361 --> 00:07:18,531
Now, Colonel, we're going
to have a nice little talk.
138
00:07:18,573 --> 00:07:21,659
The only talk you'll get is
name, rank and serial number.
139
00:07:21,701 --> 00:07:24,537
You obviously know we're
prisoners in Luft Stalag 13.
140
00:07:24,537 --> 00:07:27,165
Oh, I know a great deal more
than that.
141
00:07:27,206 --> 00:07:30,376
For example, you're running
an underground organization.
142
00:07:30,418 --> 00:07:32,045
What?
143
00:07:32,045 --> 00:07:34,756
You assist allied prisoners
to escape.
144
00:07:34,797 --> 00:07:37,884
You've got
the wrong information somewhere.
145
00:07:37,884 --> 00:07:40,636
You also sabotaged
the German war effort.
146
00:07:40,678 --> 00:07:41,929
Wrong again.
147
00:07:41,971 --> 00:07:44,265
The commandant of Stalag 13,
Colonel Klink,
148
00:07:44,307 --> 00:07:45,933
has no knowledge
of these activities
149
00:07:45,975 --> 00:07:47,560
because he's a fool.
150
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:50,897
That's the first thing
you've gotten right.
151
00:07:50,897 --> 00:07:54,442
You have radio contact
with London.
152
00:07:54,525 --> 00:07:57,236
Your code name is Goldilocks.
153
00:08:00,907 --> 00:08:03,826
You have a network of tunnels
under Stalag 13.
154
00:08:03,868 --> 00:08:06,496
Your men make uniforms.
155
00:08:06,537 --> 00:08:09,457
Sergeant Carter here
is very good with explosives.
156
00:08:09,499 --> 00:08:10,792
Well, thank you, Major.
157
00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:12,877
Actually, it's not so
complicated... Carter.
158
00:08:14,712 --> 00:08:16,631
In addition...
159
00:08:16,672 --> 00:08:19,467
you have wired
Colonel Klink's office
160
00:08:19,509 --> 00:08:22,470
so you can listen
to his conversations.
161
00:08:22,512 --> 00:08:26,599
You have arms, ammunition and
contact with the underground.
162
00:08:26,599 --> 00:08:29,477
He's what I call a nosy-parker.
163
00:08:29,519 --> 00:08:31,145
By the way,
where is your radio man,
164
00:08:31,187 --> 00:08:32,188
Sergeant Kinchloe?
165
00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:33,356
Is he back in the camp?
166
00:08:33,397 --> 00:08:36,108
What is the expression
you Americans use...
167
00:08:36,108 --> 00:08:37,777
watching the business?
168
00:08:37,819 --> 00:08:39,821
Oh, you mean watching the store.
169
00:08:39,862 --> 00:08:40,613
Thank you.
170
00:08:40,613 --> 00:08:41,906
That's all right.
171
00:08:41,948 --> 00:08:42,907
I realize
some of these American...
172
00:08:42,949 --> 00:08:44,909
Carter, shut up.
173
00:08:44,951 --> 00:08:48,037
Carter, will you please
button your big mouth?
174
00:08:48,079 --> 00:08:50,039
Who blew
the whistle?
175
00:08:50,081 --> 00:08:51,874
Do you remember
Sergeant Williams,
176
00:08:51,958 --> 00:08:55,378
the P.O.W. who was transferred
from Stalag 5 to your camp?
177
00:08:55,419 --> 00:08:58,047
Williams. We used him
on a couple of jobs.
178
00:08:58,089 --> 00:08:59,382
That's the one.
179
00:08:59,423 --> 00:09:02,426
Sergeant Williams is really
Lieutenant Kroeger, Gestapo.
180
00:09:02,468 --> 00:09:03,553
One of my officers.
181
00:09:03,594 --> 00:09:06,097
He gave me a full report
on your activities.
182
00:09:06,138 --> 00:09:07,932
Unfortunately,
he's since been transferred
183
00:09:07,974 --> 00:09:08,975
to the Eastern Front...
184
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:10,643
Where he was killed in action.
185
00:09:10,685 --> 00:09:12,812
He volunteered.
I insisted on it.
186
00:09:12,812 --> 00:09:16,482
I find it very difficult
to warm to this person.
187
00:09:16,482 --> 00:09:20,236
Now, I could shoot you
as escaping prisoners.
188
00:09:20,278 --> 00:09:23,281
Or I could report the matter
to Berlin, get a medal,
189
00:09:23,322 --> 00:09:24,657
then have you shot.
190
00:09:24,824 --> 00:09:26,325
It's a choice.
191
00:09:26,325 --> 00:09:28,869
Take all the time you
want to think it over.
192
00:09:28,911 --> 00:09:30,997
Yeah, you know what they say.
193
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:33,833
"Act in haste,
repent in leisure."
194
00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:37,837
Hogan, I know how important
your operation is to London.
195
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:41,173
It's also very important
to me.
196
00:09:41,173 --> 00:09:42,174
What's your angle?
197
00:09:42,216 --> 00:09:44,677
I've been wearing this uniform
for a long time,
198
00:09:44,719 --> 00:09:46,637
waiting for a chance
to make it pay...
199
00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:48,889
and pay big.
200
00:09:48,931 --> 00:09:50,016
What's big?
201
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:53,311
$1 million in diamonds.
202
00:09:53,352 --> 00:09:56,272
Blimey, he knows
how to ask, don't he?
203
00:09:56,314 --> 00:09:59,025
Where would we get a million
dollars worth of diamonds?
204
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,568
Same place you get
everything else you need...
205
00:10:00,609 --> 00:10:02,778
From London,
by air drop.
206
00:10:02,820 --> 00:10:04,530
You'll be taken back
to Stalag 13.
207
00:10:04,572 --> 00:10:05,781
You have one week
to deliver.
208
00:10:05,823 --> 00:10:08,909
All right, let's say we get you
the million dollars in diamonds.
209
00:10:08,951 --> 00:10:10,244
What guarantee do we have
210
00:10:10,286 --> 00:10:12,204
you won't shoot us
to keep us quiet?
211
00:10:12,204 --> 00:10:15,750
My dear Colonel, you have
the best guarantee in the world.
212
00:10:15,791 --> 00:10:17,376
My word of honor.
213
00:10:17,376 --> 00:10:19,170
Serves me right.
214
00:10:19,211 --> 00:10:21,547
Ask a silly question...
215
00:10:23,591 --> 00:10:26,177
I say we do it to him
before he does it to us.
216
00:10:26,218 --> 00:10:27,470
Right, knock him off.
217
00:10:27,511 --> 00:10:29,221
You know,
that seems logical.
218
00:10:29,263 --> 00:10:30,222
Look, you just
can't go around
219
00:10:30,264 --> 00:10:31,390
knocking off
German officers.
220
00:10:31,432 --> 00:10:32,725
The ones that are
left start asking
221
00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:33,893
embarrassing
questions.
222
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,061
Colonel,
it's my considered...
223
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:36,729
Colonel, I just got
an answer from London.
224
00:10:36,729 --> 00:10:37,897
Well?
225
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,982
"Supreme Allied
Headquarters, London,
226
00:10:40,024 --> 00:10:43,611
"to Colonel Robert
Hogan, Stalag 13.
227
00:10:43,652 --> 00:10:45,071
"Regarding your request
228
00:10:45,071 --> 00:10:47,281
for $1 million
in diamonds..."
229
00:10:47,323 --> 00:10:50,534
quote, "Are you
nuts?" unquote.
230
00:10:50,576 --> 00:10:51,702
What kind of an answer
is that?
231
00:10:51,744 --> 00:10:52,912
It makes sense to me.
232
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,955
I mean, the war is costing
a fortune as it is.
233
00:10:54,997 --> 00:10:56,123
Why, the canopy
on a P-51...
234
00:10:56,165 --> 00:10:57,708
That's the answer
I expected.
235
00:10:57,750 --> 00:11:00,377
What do you mean,
that's the answer you expected?
236
00:11:00,419 --> 00:11:01,754
Hegel must have
stolen our code.
237
00:11:01,796 --> 00:11:02,880
It's an even
money bet
238
00:11:02,922 --> 00:11:04,632
he'll be monitoring
our transmissions
239
00:11:04,673 --> 00:11:05,925
to London to
keep tabs on us.
240
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,760
So, now he thinks
we can't get the diamonds, huh?
241
00:11:07,802 --> 00:11:09,512
Right, but it's only
the first round, Kinch.
242
00:11:09,553 --> 00:11:11,097
Now I want you to use
the emergency code.
243
00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,389
Ask London again?
244
00:11:12,431 --> 00:11:14,475
Yeah, but this time
for fake diamonds.
245
00:11:14,517 --> 00:11:17,103
A pile that looks
like a million bucks worth.
246
00:11:17,103 --> 00:11:18,604
That kind they'll send.
247
00:11:18,646 --> 00:11:20,648
Well, sure.
It's much cheaper.
248
00:11:20,689 --> 00:11:22,316
Very clever,
you Americans.
249
00:11:22,358 --> 00:11:23,734
Thanks, Newkirk.
250
00:11:23,776 --> 00:11:26,070
Oh, Colonel, I think you've
got something cooking.
251
00:11:26,112 --> 00:11:30,074
Right... a Nazi fink
named Hegel, I hope.
252
00:11:31,951 --> 00:11:33,577
Now, Hogan,
let me understand this.
253
00:11:33,619 --> 00:11:37,289
A mass escape
in return for diamonds?
254
00:11:37,331 --> 00:11:38,582
That's right, sir.
255
00:11:38,624 --> 00:11:40,960
Only there's a little
clause in fine print.
256
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,711
We make the deal,
try the escape,
257
00:11:42,795 --> 00:11:45,130
they shoot us
and blame you.
258
00:11:45,130 --> 00:11:46,465
I don't believe it.
259
00:11:46,465 --> 00:11:48,300
I didn't think you would.
260
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:51,011
How did you communicate
with this Gestapo man?
261
00:11:51,053 --> 00:11:52,847
He has never been here.
262
00:11:52,888 --> 00:11:54,181
I can't tell you that.
263
00:11:54,223 --> 00:11:55,850
Did he communicate
with you?
264
00:11:55,891 --> 00:11:57,059
Can't tell you that.
265
00:11:57,101 --> 00:11:58,519
Where would you get diamonds?
266
00:11:58,561 --> 00:12:00,020
I can't tell you that either.
267
00:12:00,062 --> 00:12:01,480
What can you tell me?
268
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,482
There's a shortage of colonels
at the Russian front.
269
00:12:04,942 --> 00:12:06,402
Now, I'm going
to call the Gestapo
270
00:12:06,443 --> 00:12:09,071
and have
this traitor arrested. Yes.
271
00:12:09,113 --> 00:12:10,072
No!
272
00:12:10,114 --> 00:12:11,240
No?
273
00:12:11,282 --> 00:12:13,617
No. They'll cover
for their own man
274
00:12:13,659 --> 00:12:14,660
and cut your head off.
275
00:12:16,161 --> 00:12:17,162
It'd be much smarter
276
00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:18,497
to get the evidence
on him yourself,
277
00:12:18,539 --> 00:12:19,582
then turn him in.
278
00:12:19,623 --> 00:12:21,125
It occurs to me
279
00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:24,044
that this is a lie...
Some trick of yours.
280
00:12:24,086 --> 00:12:26,046
Would you like to hear it
direct from the Kraut...
281
00:12:26,088 --> 00:12:28,215
I mean the horse's mouth?
282
00:12:28,257 --> 00:12:28,883
How?
283
00:12:28,924 --> 00:12:30,467
Arrange for a work detail
284
00:12:30,509 --> 00:12:32,469
of P.O.W.s
for the Hammelburg Road,
285
00:12:32,511 --> 00:12:34,013
day after tomorrow.
286
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,723
You come along
as one of the guards.
287
00:12:35,764 --> 00:12:37,558
I'll arrange
for Hegel to be there.
288
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:38,851
We'll talk, you listen.
289
00:12:38,851 --> 00:12:41,312
Me, put on a
guard's uniform?
290
00:12:41,353 --> 00:12:43,397
Hegel has
never seen you.
291
00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:45,941
Would anybody believe
292
00:12:45,983 --> 00:12:48,694
I could be just an
ordinary private?
293
00:12:48,736 --> 00:12:51,030
Why not? I believe.
294
00:13:08,881 --> 00:13:10,716
I just got word
from London, Colonel.
295
00:13:10,716 --> 00:13:12,718
Mm-hmm. Fake
diamonds will be dropped
296
00:13:12,718 --> 00:13:14,887
tomorrow night,
2200 hours.
297
00:13:14,887 --> 00:13:17,556
Send Carter and LeBeau
out to pick 'em up, huh?
298
00:13:17,556 --> 00:13:19,016
Right. Will do.
299
00:13:23,062 --> 00:13:24,730
I gave her the message,
Colonel.
300
00:13:24,730 --> 00:13:26,732
Day after tomorrow,
Hammelburg Road.
301
00:13:26,732 --> 00:13:28,067
Will she get the word
to Hegel in time?
302
00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:30,235
I guess so.
303
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,571
I-I-I don't trust
that dame, Colonel.
304
00:13:32,613 --> 00:13:36,075
Why? She short-changed
me for the milk.
305
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:38,077
Put it on my bill.
306
00:13:42,247 --> 00:13:44,249
Colonel Hogan,
is it true
307
00:13:44,249 --> 00:13:46,251
that Big Shot is going
to be a private?
308
00:13:46,251 --> 00:13:47,753
Yeah, just for a few hours,
Schultz.
309
00:13:47,753 --> 00:13:49,254
It's an intelligence matter.
310
00:13:49,254 --> 00:13:51,590
Under my command?
Right, right.
311
00:13:51,590 --> 00:13:53,759
Oh, it's a trick just
to get me into trouble.
312
00:13:53,759 --> 00:13:55,594
No, no, Schultz,
it's on the level.
313
00:13:55,594 --> 00:13:57,513
Here comes
Private Klink now.
314
00:14:08,774 --> 00:14:12,069
Did you explain
it to him?
315
00:14:12,111 --> 00:14:14,279
Now, Schultz, I want
you to treat me
316
00:14:14,279 --> 00:14:16,448
as you would any private
under your command.
317
00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:17,533
Understood?
318
00:14:17,574 --> 00:14:18,575
Understood.
319
00:14:18,617 --> 00:14:20,410
I don't want any
special favors,
320
00:14:20,452 --> 00:14:21,912
any special
treatment, an...
321
00:14:21,954 --> 00:14:24,414
You-you-you...
you are a private?
322
00:14:24,456 --> 00:14:25,707
Yes, I am.
323
00:14:25,749 --> 00:14:26,875
Shut up!
324
00:14:26,917 --> 00:14:28,585
How dare you
tell me...
325
00:14:28,627 --> 00:14:31,421
Achtung!
326
00:14:31,463 --> 00:14:33,632
Face front!
327
00:14:36,135 --> 00:14:39,471
Put the helmet
straight.
328
00:14:39,471 --> 00:14:42,683
Chest out,
stomach in.
329
00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:48,897
Answer only when
you're spoken to.
330
00:14:48,939 --> 00:14:49,898
Jawohl.
331
00:14:49,940 --> 00:14:50,983
"Jawohl" what?
332
00:14:50,983 --> 00:14:51,942
Jawohl, Herr
Hauptmann.
333
00:14:51,984 --> 00:14:55,279
That's better.
334
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,115
About face!
335
00:14:58,157 --> 00:15:01,535
File in with the rest of them,
you Dummkopf!
336
00:15:01,577 --> 00:15:05,372
Eins, zwei...
The dregs, the dregs...
337
00:15:05,414 --> 00:15:09,251
Oh, it feels so good.
338
00:15:27,477 --> 00:15:29,354
Achtung!
339
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:32,149
Straighten up!
340
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:39,531
Hogan, I still
would like to know
341
00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:41,533
how Major Hegel got
in touch with you.
342
00:15:41,575 --> 00:15:43,243
It's all done with mirrors.
343
00:15:43,285 --> 00:15:45,913
Mir... Ah, the sun.
344
00:15:45,954 --> 00:15:47,080
That's the mirror?
345
00:15:47,122 --> 00:15:48,415
Then you give
him a signal,
346
00:15:48,457 --> 00:15:50,584
and he signals back.
347
00:15:50,626 --> 00:15:53,211
Why don't I keep
my big mouth shut?
348
00:15:56,590 --> 00:15:57,924
There's Hegel.
349
00:15:57,966 --> 00:16:00,135
Get into the woods,
come up behind the car.
350
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:12,272
Herr Major, work detail
from Stalag 13 reporting,
351
00:16:12,314 --> 00:16:14,816
Sergeant Hans Schultz
commanding.
352
00:16:14,858 --> 00:16:16,026
At ease, Sergeant.
353
00:16:16,068 --> 00:16:17,986
Where is the senior
P.O.W. officer?
354
00:16:18,028 --> 00:16:19,655
I wish to talk to him.
355
00:16:19,696 --> 00:16:21,406
Jawohl, Herr Major.
356
00:16:21,406 --> 00:16:22,908
Colonel Hogan.
357
00:16:25,077 --> 00:16:26,912
I will talk
to this man alone.
358
00:16:26,912 --> 00:16:28,372
Carry on, Sergeant.
359
00:16:31,541 --> 00:16:32,793
Well?
360
00:16:32,834 --> 00:16:34,461
Can we talk alone
in the car?
361
00:16:34,503 --> 00:16:35,879
All right.
362
00:16:43,345 --> 00:16:47,057
Now, Hogan, what seems
to be the trouble?
363
00:16:47,099 --> 00:16:48,850
Well, diamonds
don't grow on trees,
364
00:16:48,892 --> 00:16:50,685
especially a million
bucks' worth.
365
00:16:50,727 --> 00:16:51,812
I'm trying.
366
00:16:51,853 --> 00:16:53,271
Yes, I know.
367
00:16:53,271 --> 00:16:55,107
"Are you nuts?"
368
00:16:55,107 --> 00:16:58,151
I don't have to ask
where you heard that.
369
00:16:58,193 --> 00:16:59,694
I'll need more time.
370
00:16:59,736 --> 00:17:01,113
48 hours, no more.
371
00:17:01,113 --> 00:17:04,408
There's a barn on this road
two kilometers beyond the town.
372
00:17:04,449 --> 00:17:07,285
Be there two nights from tonight
with the diamonds.
373
00:17:07,285 --> 00:17:08,537
And if I fail?
374
00:17:08,578 --> 00:17:11,915
I will come to Stalag 13
and shoot you and your men.
375
00:17:11,957 --> 00:17:13,875
How would you justify that?
376
00:17:13,917 --> 00:17:16,253
Oh, I'll think of something
at the last minute.
377
00:17:16,294 --> 00:17:18,713
Hegel, you're a real fun person.
378
00:17:18,755 --> 00:17:21,967
Whether you live or die
is entirely up to you.
379
00:17:21,967 --> 00:17:23,468
And Colonel Klink.
380
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,970
We're still
his prisoners.
381
00:17:24,970 --> 00:17:26,721
You'll have
to shoot him, too,
382
00:17:26,763 --> 00:17:28,056
and take over
the camp.
383
00:17:28,098 --> 00:17:29,975
And take
at least another ten minutes.
384
00:17:31,768 --> 00:17:33,979
I can see you're
terribly worried about Klink.
385
00:17:35,230 --> 00:17:37,190
Hogan, let me
tell you something.
386
00:17:37,232 --> 00:17:39,693
Hitler is trying
to conquer the world.
387
00:17:39,734 --> 00:17:41,695
If he fails,
it will be on account
388
00:17:41,736 --> 00:17:45,282
of bubble-headed fools
like your Colonel Klink.
389
00:17:45,323 --> 00:17:46,825
I thought you said
you didn't know him.
390
00:17:54,499 --> 00:17:56,334
By the way, Mr. Wonderful...
391
00:17:56,334 --> 00:17:57,460
Yes?
392
00:17:57,502 --> 00:17:59,045
We're giving you
a million in diamonds
393
00:17:59,087 --> 00:18:00,422
to keep your mouth shut.
394
00:18:00,463 --> 00:18:03,133
I'll send you a postcard
from Switzerland.
395
00:18:03,175 --> 00:18:05,218
Fine. But if you change
your mind,
396
00:18:05,260 --> 00:18:08,054
we've got as much on you
as you've got on us.
397
00:18:08,096 --> 00:18:09,431
That's true.
398
00:18:09,472 --> 00:18:14,519
For both our sakes,
keep that in mind.
399
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,922
They should have been back
two hours ago, sir, two hours.
400
00:18:41,963 --> 00:18:43,715
Don't worry,
they'll make it.
401
00:18:43,715 --> 00:18:44,883
Oh, they'll make it
all right, sir.
402
00:18:44,925 --> 00:18:45,884
I know they'll make it.
403
00:18:45,926 --> 00:18:47,385
There's no doubt
about 'em making it.
404
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:50,889
It's just I should have gone out
with them, that's all.
405
00:18:52,891 --> 00:18:55,018
What time did
you say it was?
406
00:18:55,060 --> 00:18:56,770
What time is it,
Kinch?
407
00:18:58,939 --> 00:19:01,232
It's 10:00.
408
00:19:02,484 --> 00:19:06,029
Funny, it doesn't
seem like it's 10:00.
409
00:19:08,031 --> 00:19:10,450
Oh, you took your flippin' time
about it, didn't you?
410
00:19:11,493 --> 00:19:13,536
Never mind the French!
English! Speak English!
411
00:19:13,578 --> 00:19:15,455
All we had to do was circle
the whole Kraut division.
412
00:19:15,497 --> 00:19:16,373
If you think that
was easy, boy...
413
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:18,333
You got the stuff?
414
00:19:18,375 --> 00:19:20,752
Yeah, we had to
duck two patrols...
415
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:23,213
We were worried
about you, Andrew.
416
00:19:23,254 --> 00:19:24,839
Sure, you were worried
about us.
417
00:19:24,881 --> 00:19:25,840
We couldn't get back
any faster.
418
00:19:25,882 --> 00:19:26,841
We'd have gotten
here if we could...
419
00:19:26,883 --> 00:19:28,468
That's what
you're getting paid for.
420
00:19:28,510 --> 00:19:29,928
Then I want a raise.
421
00:19:37,018 --> 00:19:38,770
Cor! Blimey.
422
00:19:38,812 --> 00:19:39,771
LeBEAU:
They are beautiful!
423
00:19:39,813 --> 00:19:40,772
Boy, look at that.
424
00:19:40,814 --> 00:19:41,773
Smashing, aren't they?
425
00:19:41,815 --> 00:19:43,566
LeBEAU:
Boy!
426
00:19:43,608 --> 00:19:45,944
Beautiful fakes.
427
00:19:45,944 --> 00:19:47,529
They could fool
an expert.
428
00:19:48,697 --> 00:19:51,282
Oh, magnifique!
429
00:19:56,621 --> 00:19:59,999
Very nice, indeed.
430
00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:01,626
Never tell
they're rubbish.
431
00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,586
Here's your raise.
432
00:20:03,628 --> 00:20:05,046
Merci, mon pote.
433
00:20:05,088 --> 00:20:07,340
You know, Colonel, I
had a bird once in London,
434
00:20:07,382 --> 00:20:08,550
a duchess she was...
435
00:20:08,591 --> 00:20:10,635
Newkirk, save it
for your memoirs.
436
00:20:10,635 --> 00:20:12,262
Listen...
437
00:20:12,303 --> 00:20:13,972
this is our plan
for tomorrow night.
438
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:16,057
Klink has agreed
to let us out of here.
439
00:20:16,099 --> 00:20:17,142
I've sold him on the idea
440
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:18,852
of grabbing Hegel
with this stuff on him.
441
00:20:18,893 --> 00:20:20,478
We go out first,
442
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,605
Klink follows with his men
after the delivery.
443
00:20:22,647 --> 00:20:23,982
Great.
444
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,650
Well, what's to keep
Hegel from talking
445
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:26,734
when Klink arrests him?
446
00:20:26,776 --> 00:20:28,611
If he doesn't try
any fancy footwork,
447
00:20:28,653 --> 00:20:29,946
there won't be an arrest.
448
00:20:29,988 --> 00:20:32,282
We let him get away
with his pound of glass.
449
00:20:32,323 --> 00:20:34,284
Yeah, but suppose he
does try a double cross?
450
00:20:34,325 --> 00:20:35,910
That's why we bought
the policy
451
00:20:35,952 --> 00:20:37,871
from the Klink
Insurance Company.
452
00:20:44,669 --> 00:20:46,421
All clear in the back
of the barn, sir.
453
00:20:46,463 --> 00:20:47,464
Just a guard.
454
00:20:47,505 --> 00:20:48,965
All right, now, look.
455
00:20:49,007 --> 00:20:50,633
When we get
inside the barn,
456
00:20:50,675 --> 00:20:52,427
under no circumstances
go near the door.
457
00:20:52,469 --> 00:20:53,428
Understood?
458
00:20:53,845 --> 00:20:55,346
Let's go.
459
00:21:00,018 --> 00:21:01,686
Achtung!
460
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:05,565
All ready, Schultz?
461
00:21:05,607 --> 00:21:07,775
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant,
at your order.
462
00:21:07,817 --> 00:21:09,402
Good.
463
00:21:09,444 --> 00:21:13,698
Now, men, tonight we are going
on a dangerous mission.
464
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,034
Some of us
may not return,
465
00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:17,577
so I want you to...
466
00:21:17,619 --> 00:21:19,078
Herr Kommandant, please.
467
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:22,916
I just remembered, I have
a little personal problem.
468
00:21:22,957 --> 00:21:24,751
Please, Herr Kommandant,
469
00:21:24,792 --> 00:21:27,754
may I request a
three-day pass?
470
00:21:27,795 --> 00:21:30,215
Schultz, you are
a coward!
471
00:21:30,215 --> 00:21:31,216
Who is arguing?
472
00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:34,219
Silence!
Into the truck.
473
00:21:34,219 --> 00:21:35,845
Into the truck!
474
00:21:38,973 --> 00:21:42,560
So, London decided
to save you after all.
475
00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:45,563
There's not a diamond left
in the British Isles.
476
00:21:45,563 --> 00:21:47,523
Nice lot of merchandise
you got there, Major.
477
00:21:47,565 --> 00:21:51,235
Yeah, they sparkle
just like glass.
478
00:22:04,123 --> 00:22:06,542
Achtung! Achtung!
479
00:22:06,584 --> 00:22:08,503
This is Colonel Klink
speaking!
480
00:22:08,544 --> 00:22:09,963
You're surrounded!
481
00:22:10,004 --> 00:22:11,798
There is no chance to escape!
482
00:22:11,839 --> 00:22:14,133
Come out with your hands up!
483
00:22:14,175 --> 00:22:16,344
I give you two minutes.
484
00:22:16,386 --> 00:22:18,054
Klink must have
followed us here.
485
00:22:18,096 --> 00:22:19,263
Good!
486
00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:21,724
He will save me the trouble
of killing you.
487
00:22:21,766 --> 00:22:23,101
Look, Hegel,
you can still make it
488
00:22:23,101 --> 00:22:23,977
by going out
the back way.
489
00:22:24,185 --> 00:22:26,145
We'll cover for you.
You got your payoff.
490
00:22:26,187 --> 00:22:27,981
You and your girlfriend
can live happily ever after.
491
00:22:28,022 --> 00:22:30,108
Myra? She's dead.
492
00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:32,610
And did you really think
I'd let you live?
493
00:22:32,652 --> 00:22:33,945
Achtung!
494
00:22:33,987 --> 00:22:37,615
Inside the barn!
Your time is up!
495
00:22:37,615 --> 00:22:40,368
I'm going out that door alone,
496
00:22:40,410 --> 00:22:43,663
and order him
to blast this barn to pieces.
497
00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:46,833
Hegel, you're
making a mistake.
498
00:22:46,874 --> 00:22:47,792
Go through
with the deal
499
00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:48,626
and you're
home free.
500
00:22:53,631 --> 00:22:54,966
Colonel Klink!
501
00:22:54,966 --> 00:22:56,426
He has a gun!
Fire!
502
00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:10,815
Go on, Colonel Hogan.
503
00:23:10,815 --> 00:23:12,150
Well, sir, we were
being pursued
504
00:23:12,191 --> 00:23:13,234
by Colonel Klink,
505
00:23:13,276 --> 00:23:14,902
so we broke
into this barn.
506
00:23:14,944 --> 00:23:15,987
No one has ever
escaped from...
507
00:23:15,987 --> 00:23:17,864
You're not testifying.
508
00:23:17,905 --> 00:23:20,158
He really is
a bloodhound, sir.
509
00:23:21,534 --> 00:23:22,493
Silence!
510
00:23:23,619 --> 00:23:26,289
Continue, Colonel.
511
00:23:26,330 --> 00:23:27,957
Well, we figured
we had it made,
512
00:23:27,999 --> 00:23:30,168
then this man walked in
and surprised us.
513
00:23:30,168 --> 00:23:31,294
Major Hegel?
514
00:23:31,335 --> 00:23:32,170
That's right.
515
00:23:32,170 --> 00:23:33,421
He had us cold.
516
00:23:33,463 --> 00:23:35,423
Then Colonel Klink arrived
with his men and opened fire,
517
00:23:35,465 --> 00:23:36,507
not realizing,
of course,
518
00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:38,342
there was a German officer
in the barn.
519
00:23:38,342 --> 00:23:41,804
And Major Hegel was the only one
who was killed?
520
00:23:41,846 --> 00:23:43,890
Yes, sir. Sir, I assure
you, had I known...
521
00:23:43,931 --> 00:23:45,725
Yes, sir.
522
00:23:45,766 --> 00:23:47,310
Accident of war.
523
00:23:47,351 --> 00:23:49,896
Hegel died a hero's death,
524
00:23:49,937 --> 00:23:52,023
and we will see to it
that you and your men
525
00:23:52,023 --> 00:23:53,357
are severely punished.
526
00:23:53,357 --> 00:23:54,734
You will be
taken to Berlin
527
00:23:54,775 --> 00:23:56,777
for further
questioning.
528
00:23:56,819 --> 00:23:59,071
Sir, I must protest.
529
00:23:59,113 --> 00:24:01,073
Colonel Hogan
is my prisoner.
530
00:24:01,115 --> 00:24:04,452
His crime is against
the authority of Stalag 13.
531
00:24:04,494 --> 00:24:06,871
I will see
to his punishment.
532
00:24:09,916 --> 00:24:11,292
Very well, Klink.
533
00:24:11,334 --> 00:24:12,543
Heil Hitler.
534
00:24:12,543 --> 00:24:14,504
Heil Hitler!
535
00:24:18,216 --> 00:24:20,593
Hogan, you are
the biggest liar
536
00:24:20,635 --> 00:24:22,470
I've ever met
in my whole life.
537
00:24:26,766 --> 00:24:31,103
Colonel Hogan, he said
a terrible thing to you.
538
00:24:31,145 --> 00:24:32,271
I know.
539
00:24:32,313 --> 00:24:34,398
He called you a liar.
540
00:24:34,398 --> 00:24:37,526
He really knows
how to hurt a guy.
37625
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