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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:52,104 --> 00:00:54,398 Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, Fraulein. 2 00:00:54,439 --> 00:00:56,233 Oh, but it's such nice, fresh milk 3 00:00:56,274 --> 00:00:57,234 right from the farm. 4 00:00:57,275 --> 00:00:58,235 And nein, Fraulein. 5 00:00:58,276 --> 00:00:59,736 It is verboten. 6 00:00:59,778 --> 00:01:01,571 Only a few fenigs a glass. 7 00:01:01,613 --> 00:01:03,240 Hey, what's going on, Schultz? 8 00:01:03,281 --> 00:01:04,825 She wants to sell some milk. 9 00:01:05,951 --> 00:01:07,744 No, no, no, no, back, back, back, 10 00:01:07,786 --> 00:01:09,079 back, back, back! 11 00:01:09,121 --> 00:01:10,580 You know it's against regulations. 12 00:01:10,622 --> 00:01:12,416 No civilian is allowed in camp. 13 00:01:12,457 --> 00:01:15,502 She's not a civilian, Schultz, she's a girl. 14 00:01:15,502 --> 00:01:16,962 They're the best kind, Schultzy. 15 00:01:17,004 --> 00:01:19,172 Yeah, come on, Schultz, forget the regulations. 16 00:01:19,214 --> 00:01:22,009 Yeah, Sergeant, what possible harm could I do? 17 00:01:22,009 --> 00:01:25,637 A big strong man like you, afraid of me? 18 00:01:25,679 --> 00:01:27,681 Oh, shucks. 19 00:01:27,681 --> 00:01:30,142 "Aw, shucks" from the Kraut? 20 00:01:30,183 --> 00:01:31,476 I-I taught him that. 21 00:01:31,518 --> 00:01:33,520 I also taught him, "Gee whillikers." 22 00:01:33,562 --> 00:01:35,188 Please? 23 00:01:35,230 --> 00:01:37,524 Come on, Schultz. 24 00:01:37,566 --> 00:01:40,360 All right, ten minutes. 25 00:01:40,402 --> 00:01:42,529 Okay, sir, thank you. But only ten minutes! 26 00:01:42,571 --> 00:01:44,072 All right, thank you, Schultzy. Thanks, Schultz. 27 00:01:44,114 --> 00:01:46,074 I don't know what it is, but, uh... 28 00:01:46,116 --> 00:01:50,454 beautiful girls cannot resist me. 29 00:01:50,495 --> 00:01:53,707 No, no, no, Schultz, you mean you just can't resist them. 30 00:01:53,707 --> 00:01:56,251 I like it my way better. 31 00:02:00,172 --> 00:02:02,424 I have some for the lot of you. 32 00:02:02,466 --> 00:02:05,135 Here we go, here we go, have some. 33 00:02:07,888 --> 00:02:08,722 What are you doing? 34 00:02:08,764 --> 00:02:10,390 Give that note to Colonel Hogan. 35 00:02:10,432 --> 00:02:11,892 It's very important. 36 00:02:11,933 --> 00:02:14,102 Why'd you put that note in my milk for? 37 00:02:14,144 --> 00:02:15,520 Shh, the guards are watching us. 38 00:02:15,562 --> 00:02:16,897 Did you see that? She put that note right... 39 00:02:16,897 --> 00:02:19,065 Carter, just don't gripe. 40 00:02:19,107 --> 00:02:20,734 Just give the note to Hogan. 41 00:02:20,776 --> 00:02:23,361 But she put it right... Carter. 42 00:02:23,653 --> 00:02:25,113 Okay. 43 00:02:25,155 --> 00:02:28,200 Thanks, Fraulein, ma'am. 44 00:02:30,285 --> 00:02:32,621 "At 10:00 tonight, woods, 45 00:02:32,662 --> 00:02:34,581 "sector Y-14. 46 00:02:34,581 --> 00:02:36,583 Meet important contact." 47 00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:39,586 The signature is Robinson Crusoe. 48 00:02:39,586 --> 00:02:41,296 Hey, that's the code name for a commando. 49 00:02:41,338 --> 00:02:42,589 If she's a commando, 50 00:02:42,589 --> 00:02:44,424 I like the way this war is going. 51 00:02:44,424 --> 00:02:47,594 My guess is somebody was dropped in and got lost on a mission. 52 00:02:47,636 --> 00:02:49,763 So Robinson Crusoe used the underground 53 00:02:49,763 --> 00:02:50,931 to get in touch with us? 54 00:02:50,931 --> 00:02:53,266 I read Robinson Crusoe when I was a kid. 55 00:02:53,266 --> 00:02:56,353 There's a fascinating bit of news. 56 00:02:56,394 --> 00:02:57,646 I don't like it. 57 00:02:57,687 --> 00:03:00,941 London usually notifies us in advance of commando activity. 58 00:03:00,941 --> 00:03:02,359 I don't like it. 59 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,528 Fine, then let's forget the rendezvous. 60 00:03:04,569 --> 00:03:06,321 On the other hand, it could be on the level. 61 00:03:06,363 --> 00:03:07,447 Well, let's take a vote. 62 00:03:07,447 --> 00:03:08,448 I say no. 63 00:03:08,448 --> 00:03:09,449 Definitely no. 64 00:03:09,449 --> 00:03:10,951 No. No. 65 00:03:10,992 --> 00:03:12,953 We'll make contact 10:00 tonight. 66 00:03:12,953 --> 00:03:14,663 Hey, I demand a recount. 67 00:03:14,704 --> 00:03:16,623 Write to your congressman. 68 00:03:20,293 --> 00:03:22,963 One, two, three... 69 00:03:22,963 --> 00:03:24,631 Forget it. 70 00:03:49,614 --> 00:03:51,408 What's the action, Kinch? 71 00:03:51,449 --> 00:03:53,576 Oh, it's all clear outside the wire, Colonel, 72 00:03:53,618 --> 00:03:55,704 right into the woods, and Schultz is asleep. 73 00:03:55,745 --> 00:03:58,039 He's sitting against a tree. 74 00:03:58,081 --> 00:03:59,416 Condition normal. 75 00:03:59,457 --> 00:04:00,750 Do you see any dogs? 76 00:04:00,792 --> 00:04:03,670 The dogs are guarding Schultz. 77 00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:06,506 All right, look, let's play this cozy. 78 00:04:06,506 --> 00:04:08,967 Give me 15 minutes' start, then follow. 79 00:04:09,009 --> 00:04:10,760 Keep the noise down. Good luck. 80 00:04:11,011 --> 00:04:12,512 Thank you. 81 00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:39,289 Shh. 82 00:04:39,330 --> 00:04:41,791 He's sleeping. 83 00:04:44,127 --> 00:04:46,629 Thank you, liebchen. 84 00:04:46,671 --> 00:04:48,506 Anytime. 85 00:04:53,094 --> 00:04:56,639 No, it couldn't be. 86 00:05:04,022 --> 00:05:05,190 Colonel Hogan. 87 00:05:06,441 --> 00:05:07,233 Myra? 88 00:05:14,574 --> 00:05:15,742 You came alone? 89 00:05:15,784 --> 00:05:17,535 Yeah. Where's Robinson Crusoe? 90 00:05:17,577 --> 00:05:18,995 Oh, you'll meet him in due time, 91 00:05:19,037 --> 00:05:21,581 but first, there are certain precautions we must take. 92 00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:25,460 You're under arrest. 93 00:05:25,502 --> 00:05:26,753 Gestapo. 94 00:05:26,795 --> 00:05:28,671 Some precaution. 95 00:05:28,713 --> 00:05:30,882 Your gun. 96 00:05:32,592 --> 00:05:34,052 My car is parked on the road. 97 00:05:34,093 --> 00:05:36,387 We walk to it very slowly and carefully. 98 00:05:36,429 --> 00:05:39,599 Serves me right for going on a blind date. 99 00:05:42,644 --> 00:05:44,562 Stand still and don't say a word. 100 00:05:46,773 --> 00:05:48,316 Hey, there's the colonel. 101 00:05:48,358 --> 00:05:49,776 And the bird as well. 102 00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,611 Boy, I hope she's got some milk with her. 103 00:05:51,653 --> 00:05:52,820 I'm thirsty. 104 00:05:54,531 --> 00:05:55,907 You did not come alone. 105 00:05:55,949 --> 00:05:57,408 I'm a terrible liar. 106 00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:59,285 Well, tell them to throw down their weapons, 107 00:05:59,285 --> 00:06:01,913 or my first shot will be for you in your back. 108 00:06:01,955 --> 00:06:04,123 Make up your mind. 109 00:06:04,123 --> 00:06:06,918 Decisions, always decisions. 110 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,127 Ah, bonjour, mademoiselle. 111 00:06:08,127 --> 00:06:09,754 Hi, there, Fraulein. Guten Abend, my dear. 112 00:06:09,796 --> 00:06:10,880 Hold it right there. 113 00:06:10,922 --> 00:06:11,839 Throw down your guns. 114 00:06:13,633 --> 00:06:15,218 You heard me. Throw 'em down. 115 00:06:15,260 --> 00:06:16,386 I won't give up my gun. The whole place 116 00:06:16,427 --> 00:06:17,595 is crawling with Krauts. What is that? 117 00:06:17,637 --> 00:06:19,472 Throw them down, or your milkmaid friend 118 00:06:19,472 --> 00:06:21,474 is going to shoot me in the back. 119 00:06:21,474 --> 00:06:23,518 What good is half a colonel? 120 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,311 See, it was a trap. 121 00:06:25,353 --> 00:06:27,814 Correction: is a trap, and we're in it. 122 00:06:27,814 --> 00:06:29,357 Blimey, we've been shopped. 123 00:06:29,399 --> 00:06:30,775 Get rid of the guns. 124 00:06:33,236 --> 00:06:36,823 Boy, what a war. You can't trust anybody. 125 00:06:42,912 --> 00:06:45,123 Okay, lady, so far, you've been a barrel of laughs. 126 00:06:45,164 --> 00:06:46,374 Now what do you want with us? 127 00:06:46,416 --> 00:06:48,376 Yeah, I'm sleepy. I want to go back to camp. 128 00:06:48,459 --> 00:06:49,919 All you'll get out of us 129 00:06:49,961 --> 00:06:51,421 is name, rank and serial number. 130 00:06:51,462 --> 00:06:52,588 I'll promise you that. 131 00:06:52,630 --> 00:06:54,757 We may not even give you a serial number. 132 00:06:58,303 --> 00:07:01,723 Good evening, gentlemen. 133 00:07:04,642 --> 00:07:08,146 I'm Major Hegel, "Robinson Crusoe." 134 00:07:10,064 --> 00:07:12,275 You've done very well, my dear. 135 00:07:12,525 --> 00:07:13,526 Danke. 136 00:07:13,526 --> 00:07:15,361 Real chummy, ain't we? 137 00:07:15,361 --> 00:07:18,531 Now, Colonel, we're going to have a nice little talk. 138 00:07:18,573 --> 00:07:21,659 The only talk you'll get is name, rank and serial number. 139 00:07:21,701 --> 00:07:24,537 You obviously know we're prisoners in Luft Stalag 13. 140 00:07:24,537 --> 00:07:27,165 Oh, I know a great deal more than that. 141 00:07:27,206 --> 00:07:30,376 For example, you're running an underground organization. 142 00:07:30,418 --> 00:07:32,045 What? 143 00:07:32,045 --> 00:07:34,756 You assist allied prisoners to escape. 144 00:07:34,797 --> 00:07:37,884 You've got the wrong information somewhere. 145 00:07:37,884 --> 00:07:40,636 You also sabotaged the German war effort. 146 00:07:40,678 --> 00:07:41,929 Wrong again. 147 00:07:41,971 --> 00:07:44,265 The commandant of Stalag 13, Colonel Klink, 148 00:07:44,307 --> 00:07:45,933 has no knowledge of these activities 149 00:07:45,975 --> 00:07:47,560 because he's a fool. 150 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:50,897 That's the first thing you've gotten right. 151 00:07:50,897 --> 00:07:54,442 You have radio contact with London. 152 00:07:54,525 --> 00:07:57,236 Your code name is Goldilocks. 153 00:08:00,907 --> 00:08:03,826 You have a network of tunnels under Stalag 13. 154 00:08:03,868 --> 00:08:06,496 Your men make uniforms. 155 00:08:06,537 --> 00:08:09,457 Sergeant Carter here is very good with explosives. 156 00:08:09,499 --> 00:08:10,792 Well, thank you, Major. 157 00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:12,877 Actually, it's not so complicated... Carter. 158 00:08:14,712 --> 00:08:16,631 In addition... 159 00:08:16,672 --> 00:08:19,467 you have wired Colonel Klink's office 160 00:08:19,509 --> 00:08:22,470 so you can listen to his conversations. 161 00:08:22,512 --> 00:08:26,599 You have arms, ammunition and contact with the underground. 162 00:08:26,599 --> 00:08:29,477 He's what I call a nosy-parker. 163 00:08:29,519 --> 00:08:31,145 By the way, where is your radio man, 164 00:08:31,187 --> 00:08:32,188 Sergeant Kinchloe? 165 00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:33,356 Is he back in the camp? 166 00:08:33,397 --> 00:08:36,108 What is the expression you Americans use... 167 00:08:36,108 --> 00:08:37,777 watching the business? 168 00:08:37,819 --> 00:08:39,821 Oh, you mean watching the store. 169 00:08:39,862 --> 00:08:40,613 Thank you. 170 00:08:40,613 --> 00:08:41,906 That's all right. 171 00:08:41,948 --> 00:08:42,907 I realize some of these American... 172 00:08:42,949 --> 00:08:44,909 Carter, shut up. 173 00:08:44,951 --> 00:08:48,037 Carter, will you please button your big mouth? 174 00:08:48,079 --> 00:08:50,039 Who blew the whistle? 175 00:08:50,081 --> 00:08:51,874 Do you remember Sergeant Williams, 176 00:08:51,958 --> 00:08:55,378 the P.O.W. who was transferred from Stalag 5 to your camp? 177 00:08:55,419 --> 00:08:58,047 Williams. We used him on a couple of jobs. 178 00:08:58,089 --> 00:08:59,382 That's the one. 179 00:08:59,423 --> 00:09:02,426 Sergeant Williams is really Lieutenant Kroeger, Gestapo. 180 00:09:02,468 --> 00:09:03,553 One of my officers. 181 00:09:03,594 --> 00:09:06,097 He gave me a full report on your activities. 182 00:09:06,138 --> 00:09:07,932 Unfortunately, he's since been transferred 183 00:09:07,974 --> 00:09:08,975 to the Eastern Front... 184 00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:10,643 Where he was killed in action. 185 00:09:10,685 --> 00:09:12,812 He volunteered. I insisted on it. 186 00:09:12,812 --> 00:09:16,482 I find it very difficult to warm to this person. 187 00:09:16,482 --> 00:09:20,236 Now, I could shoot you as escaping prisoners. 188 00:09:20,278 --> 00:09:23,281 Or I could report the matter to Berlin, get a medal, 189 00:09:23,322 --> 00:09:24,657 then have you shot. 190 00:09:24,824 --> 00:09:26,325 It's a choice. 191 00:09:26,325 --> 00:09:28,869 Take all the time you want to think it over. 192 00:09:28,911 --> 00:09:30,997 Yeah, you know what they say. 193 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:33,833 "Act in haste, repent in leisure." 194 00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:37,837 Hogan, I know how important your operation is to London. 195 00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:41,173 It's also very important to me. 196 00:09:41,173 --> 00:09:42,174 What's your angle? 197 00:09:42,216 --> 00:09:44,677 I've been wearing this uniform for a long time, 198 00:09:44,719 --> 00:09:46,637 waiting for a chance to make it pay... 199 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:48,889 and pay big. 200 00:09:48,931 --> 00:09:50,016 What's big? 201 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:53,311 $1 million in diamonds. 202 00:09:53,352 --> 00:09:56,272 Blimey, he knows how to ask, don't he? 203 00:09:56,314 --> 00:09:59,025 Where would we get a million dollars worth of diamonds? 204 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,568 Same place you get everything else you need... 205 00:10:00,609 --> 00:10:02,778 From London, by air drop. 206 00:10:02,820 --> 00:10:04,530 You'll be taken back to Stalag 13. 207 00:10:04,572 --> 00:10:05,781 You have one week to deliver. 208 00:10:05,823 --> 00:10:08,909 All right, let's say we get you the million dollars in diamonds. 209 00:10:08,951 --> 00:10:10,244 What guarantee do we have 210 00:10:10,286 --> 00:10:12,204 you won't shoot us to keep us quiet? 211 00:10:12,204 --> 00:10:15,750 My dear Colonel, you have the best guarantee in the world. 212 00:10:15,791 --> 00:10:17,376 My word of honor. 213 00:10:17,376 --> 00:10:19,170 Serves me right. 214 00:10:19,211 --> 00:10:21,547 Ask a silly question... 215 00:10:23,591 --> 00:10:26,177 I say we do it to him before he does it to us. 216 00:10:26,218 --> 00:10:27,470 Right, knock him off. 217 00:10:27,511 --> 00:10:29,221 You know, that seems logical. 218 00:10:29,263 --> 00:10:30,222 Look, you just can't go around 219 00:10:30,264 --> 00:10:31,390 knocking off German officers. 220 00:10:31,432 --> 00:10:32,725 The ones that are left start asking 221 00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:33,893 embarrassing questions. 222 00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,061 Colonel, it's my considered... 223 00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:36,729 Colonel, I just got an answer from London. 224 00:10:36,729 --> 00:10:37,897 Well? 225 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,982 "Supreme Allied Headquarters, London, 226 00:10:40,024 --> 00:10:43,611 "to Colonel Robert Hogan, Stalag 13. 227 00:10:43,652 --> 00:10:45,071 "Regarding your request 228 00:10:45,071 --> 00:10:47,281 for $1 million in diamonds..." 229 00:10:47,323 --> 00:10:50,534 quote, "Are you nuts?" unquote. 230 00:10:50,576 --> 00:10:51,702 What kind of an answer is that? 231 00:10:51,744 --> 00:10:52,912 It makes sense to me. 232 00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,955 I mean, the war is costing a fortune as it is. 233 00:10:54,997 --> 00:10:56,123 Why, the canopy on a P-51... 234 00:10:56,165 --> 00:10:57,708 That's the answer I expected. 235 00:10:57,750 --> 00:11:00,377 What do you mean, that's the answer you expected? 236 00:11:00,419 --> 00:11:01,754 Hegel must have stolen our code. 237 00:11:01,796 --> 00:11:02,880 It's an even money bet 238 00:11:02,922 --> 00:11:04,632 he'll be monitoring our transmissions 239 00:11:04,673 --> 00:11:05,925 to London to keep tabs on us. 240 00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,760 So, now he thinks we can't get the diamonds, huh? 241 00:11:07,802 --> 00:11:09,512 Right, but it's only the first round, Kinch. 242 00:11:09,553 --> 00:11:11,097 Now I want you to use the emergency code. 243 00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,389 Ask London again? 244 00:11:12,431 --> 00:11:14,475 Yeah, but this time for fake diamonds. 245 00:11:14,517 --> 00:11:17,103 A pile that looks like a million bucks worth. 246 00:11:17,103 --> 00:11:18,604 That kind they'll send. 247 00:11:18,646 --> 00:11:20,648 Well, sure. It's much cheaper. 248 00:11:20,689 --> 00:11:22,316 Very clever, you Americans. 249 00:11:22,358 --> 00:11:23,734 Thanks, Newkirk. 250 00:11:23,776 --> 00:11:26,070 Oh, Colonel, I think you've got something cooking. 251 00:11:26,112 --> 00:11:30,074 Right... a Nazi fink named Hegel, I hope. 252 00:11:31,951 --> 00:11:33,577 Now, Hogan, let me understand this. 253 00:11:33,619 --> 00:11:37,289 A mass escape in return for diamonds? 254 00:11:37,331 --> 00:11:38,582 That's right, sir. 255 00:11:38,624 --> 00:11:40,960 Only there's a little clause in fine print. 256 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,711 We make the deal, try the escape, 257 00:11:42,795 --> 00:11:45,130 they shoot us and blame you. 258 00:11:45,130 --> 00:11:46,465 I don't believe it. 259 00:11:46,465 --> 00:11:48,300 I didn't think you would. 260 00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:51,011 How did you communicate with this Gestapo man? 261 00:11:51,053 --> 00:11:52,847 He has never been here. 262 00:11:52,888 --> 00:11:54,181 I can't tell you that. 263 00:11:54,223 --> 00:11:55,850 Did he communicate with you? 264 00:11:55,891 --> 00:11:57,059 Can't tell you that. 265 00:11:57,101 --> 00:11:58,519 Where would you get diamonds? 266 00:11:58,561 --> 00:12:00,020 I can't tell you that either. 267 00:12:00,062 --> 00:12:01,480 What can you tell me? 268 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,482 There's a shortage of colonels at the Russian front. 269 00:12:04,942 --> 00:12:06,402 Now, I'm going to call the Gestapo 270 00:12:06,443 --> 00:12:09,071 and have this traitor arrested. Yes. 271 00:12:09,113 --> 00:12:10,072 No! 272 00:12:10,114 --> 00:12:11,240 No? 273 00:12:11,282 --> 00:12:13,617 No. They'll cover for their own man 274 00:12:13,659 --> 00:12:14,660 and cut your head off. 275 00:12:16,161 --> 00:12:17,162 It'd be much smarter 276 00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:18,497 to get the evidence on him yourself, 277 00:12:18,539 --> 00:12:19,582 then turn him in. 278 00:12:19,623 --> 00:12:21,125 It occurs to me 279 00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:24,044 that this is a lie... Some trick of yours. 280 00:12:24,086 --> 00:12:26,046 Would you like to hear it direct from the Kraut... 281 00:12:26,088 --> 00:12:28,215 I mean the horse's mouth? 282 00:12:28,257 --> 00:12:28,883 How? 283 00:12:28,924 --> 00:12:30,467 Arrange for a work detail 284 00:12:30,509 --> 00:12:32,469 of P.O.W.s for the Hammelburg Road, 285 00:12:32,511 --> 00:12:34,013 day after tomorrow. 286 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,723 You come along as one of the guards. 287 00:12:35,764 --> 00:12:37,558 I'll arrange for Hegel to be there. 288 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:38,851 We'll talk, you listen. 289 00:12:38,851 --> 00:12:41,312 Me, put on a guard's uniform? 290 00:12:41,353 --> 00:12:43,397 Hegel has never seen you. 291 00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:45,941 Would anybody believe 292 00:12:45,983 --> 00:12:48,694 I could be just an ordinary private? 293 00:12:48,736 --> 00:12:51,030 Why not? I believe. 294 00:13:08,881 --> 00:13:10,716 I just got word from London, Colonel. 295 00:13:10,716 --> 00:13:12,718 Mm-hmm. Fake diamonds will be dropped 296 00:13:12,718 --> 00:13:14,887 tomorrow night, 2200 hours. 297 00:13:14,887 --> 00:13:17,556 Send Carter and LeBeau out to pick 'em up, huh? 298 00:13:17,556 --> 00:13:19,016 Right. Will do. 299 00:13:23,062 --> 00:13:24,730 I gave her the message, Colonel. 300 00:13:24,730 --> 00:13:26,732 Day after tomorrow, Hammelburg Road. 301 00:13:26,732 --> 00:13:28,067 Will she get the word to Hegel in time? 302 00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:30,235 I guess so. 303 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,571 I-I-I don't trust that dame, Colonel. 304 00:13:32,613 --> 00:13:36,075 Why? She short-changed me for the milk. 305 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:38,077 Put it on my bill. 306 00:13:42,247 --> 00:13:44,249 Colonel Hogan, is it true 307 00:13:44,249 --> 00:13:46,251 that Big Shot is going to be a private? 308 00:13:46,251 --> 00:13:47,753 Yeah, just for a few hours, Schultz. 309 00:13:47,753 --> 00:13:49,254 It's an intelligence matter. 310 00:13:49,254 --> 00:13:51,590 Under my command? Right, right. 311 00:13:51,590 --> 00:13:53,759 Oh, it's a trick just to get me into trouble. 312 00:13:53,759 --> 00:13:55,594 No, no, Schultz, it's on the level. 313 00:13:55,594 --> 00:13:57,513 Here comes Private Klink now. 314 00:14:08,774 --> 00:14:12,069 Did you explain it to him? 315 00:14:12,111 --> 00:14:14,279 Now, Schultz, I want you to treat me 316 00:14:14,279 --> 00:14:16,448 as you would any private under your command. 317 00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:17,533 Understood? 318 00:14:17,574 --> 00:14:18,575 Understood. 319 00:14:18,617 --> 00:14:20,410 I don't want any special favors, 320 00:14:20,452 --> 00:14:21,912 any special treatment, an... 321 00:14:21,954 --> 00:14:24,414 You-you-you... you are a private? 322 00:14:24,456 --> 00:14:25,707 Yes, I am. 323 00:14:25,749 --> 00:14:26,875 Shut up! 324 00:14:26,917 --> 00:14:28,585 How dare you tell me... 325 00:14:28,627 --> 00:14:31,421 Achtung! 326 00:14:31,463 --> 00:14:33,632 Face front! 327 00:14:36,135 --> 00:14:39,471 Put the helmet straight. 328 00:14:39,471 --> 00:14:42,683 Chest out, stomach in. 329 00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:48,897 Answer only when you're spoken to. 330 00:14:48,939 --> 00:14:49,898 Jawohl. 331 00:14:49,940 --> 00:14:50,983 "Jawohl" what? 332 00:14:50,983 --> 00:14:51,942 Jawohl, Herr Hauptmann. 333 00:14:51,984 --> 00:14:55,279 That's better. 334 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,115 About face! 335 00:14:58,157 --> 00:15:01,535 File in with the rest of them, you Dummkopf! 336 00:15:01,577 --> 00:15:05,372 Eins, zwei... The dregs, the dregs... 337 00:15:05,414 --> 00:15:09,251 Oh, it feels so good. 338 00:15:27,477 --> 00:15:29,354 Achtung! 339 00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:32,149 Straighten up! 340 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:39,531 Hogan, I still would like to know 341 00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:41,533 how Major Hegel got in touch with you. 342 00:15:41,575 --> 00:15:43,243 It's all done with mirrors. 343 00:15:43,285 --> 00:15:45,913 Mir... Ah, the sun. 344 00:15:45,954 --> 00:15:47,080 That's the mirror? 345 00:15:47,122 --> 00:15:48,415 Then you give him a signal, 346 00:15:48,457 --> 00:15:50,584 and he signals back. 347 00:15:50,626 --> 00:15:53,211 Why don't I keep my big mouth shut? 348 00:15:56,590 --> 00:15:57,924 There's Hegel. 349 00:15:57,966 --> 00:16:00,135 Get into the woods, come up behind the car. 350 00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:12,272 Herr Major, work detail from Stalag 13 reporting, 351 00:16:12,314 --> 00:16:14,816 Sergeant Hans Schultz commanding. 352 00:16:14,858 --> 00:16:16,026 At ease, Sergeant. 353 00:16:16,068 --> 00:16:17,986 Where is the senior P.O.W. officer? 354 00:16:18,028 --> 00:16:19,655 I wish to talk to him. 355 00:16:19,696 --> 00:16:21,406 Jawohl, Herr Major. 356 00:16:21,406 --> 00:16:22,908 Colonel Hogan. 357 00:16:25,077 --> 00:16:26,912 I will talk to this man alone. 358 00:16:26,912 --> 00:16:28,372 Carry on, Sergeant. 359 00:16:31,541 --> 00:16:32,793 Well? 360 00:16:32,834 --> 00:16:34,461 Can we talk alone in the car? 361 00:16:34,503 --> 00:16:35,879 All right. 362 00:16:43,345 --> 00:16:47,057 Now, Hogan, what seems to be the trouble? 363 00:16:47,099 --> 00:16:48,850 Well, diamonds don't grow on trees, 364 00:16:48,892 --> 00:16:50,685 especially a million bucks' worth. 365 00:16:50,727 --> 00:16:51,812 I'm trying. 366 00:16:51,853 --> 00:16:53,271 Yes, I know. 367 00:16:53,271 --> 00:16:55,107 "Are you nuts?" 368 00:16:55,107 --> 00:16:58,151 I don't have to ask where you heard that. 369 00:16:58,193 --> 00:16:59,694 I'll need more time. 370 00:16:59,736 --> 00:17:01,113 48 hours, no more. 371 00:17:01,113 --> 00:17:04,408 There's a barn on this road two kilometers beyond the town. 372 00:17:04,449 --> 00:17:07,285 Be there two nights from tonight with the diamonds. 373 00:17:07,285 --> 00:17:08,537 And if I fail? 374 00:17:08,578 --> 00:17:11,915 I will come to Stalag 13 and shoot you and your men. 375 00:17:11,957 --> 00:17:13,875 How would you justify that? 376 00:17:13,917 --> 00:17:16,253 Oh, I'll think of something at the last minute. 377 00:17:16,294 --> 00:17:18,713 Hegel, you're a real fun person. 378 00:17:18,755 --> 00:17:21,967 Whether you live or die is entirely up to you. 379 00:17:21,967 --> 00:17:23,468 And Colonel Klink. 380 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,970 We're still his prisoners. 381 00:17:24,970 --> 00:17:26,721 You'll have to shoot him, too, 382 00:17:26,763 --> 00:17:28,056 and take over the camp. 383 00:17:28,098 --> 00:17:29,975 And take at least another ten minutes. 384 00:17:31,768 --> 00:17:33,979 I can see you're terribly worried about Klink. 385 00:17:35,230 --> 00:17:37,190 Hogan, let me tell you something. 386 00:17:37,232 --> 00:17:39,693 Hitler is trying to conquer the world. 387 00:17:39,734 --> 00:17:41,695 If he fails, it will be on account 388 00:17:41,736 --> 00:17:45,282 of bubble-headed fools like your Colonel Klink. 389 00:17:45,323 --> 00:17:46,825 I thought you said you didn't know him. 390 00:17:54,499 --> 00:17:56,334 By the way, Mr. Wonderful... 391 00:17:56,334 --> 00:17:57,460 Yes? 392 00:17:57,502 --> 00:17:59,045 We're giving you a million in diamonds 393 00:17:59,087 --> 00:18:00,422 to keep your mouth shut. 394 00:18:00,463 --> 00:18:03,133 I'll send you a postcard from Switzerland. 395 00:18:03,175 --> 00:18:05,218 Fine. But if you change your mind, 396 00:18:05,260 --> 00:18:08,054 we've got as much on you as you've got on us. 397 00:18:08,096 --> 00:18:09,431 That's true. 398 00:18:09,472 --> 00:18:14,519 For both our sakes, keep that in mind. 399 00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,922 They should have been back two hours ago, sir, two hours. 400 00:18:41,963 --> 00:18:43,715 Don't worry, they'll make it. 401 00:18:43,715 --> 00:18:44,883 Oh, they'll make it all right, sir. 402 00:18:44,925 --> 00:18:45,884 I know they'll make it. 403 00:18:45,926 --> 00:18:47,385 There's no doubt about 'em making it. 404 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:50,889 It's just I should have gone out with them, that's all. 405 00:18:52,891 --> 00:18:55,018 What time did you say it was? 406 00:18:55,060 --> 00:18:56,770 What time is it, Kinch? 407 00:18:58,939 --> 00:19:01,232 It's 10:00. 408 00:19:02,484 --> 00:19:06,029 Funny, it doesn't seem like it's 10:00. 409 00:19:08,031 --> 00:19:10,450 Oh, you took your flippin' time about it, didn't you? 410 00:19:11,493 --> 00:19:13,536 Never mind the French! English! Speak English! 411 00:19:13,578 --> 00:19:15,455 All we had to do was circle the whole Kraut division. 412 00:19:15,497 --> 00:19:16,373 If you think that was easy, boy... 413 00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:18,333 You got the stuff? 414 00:19:18,375 --> 00:19:20,752 Yeah, we had to duck two patrols... 415 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:23,213 We were worried about you, Andrew. 416 00:19:23,254 --> 00:19:24,839 Sure, you were worried about us. 417 00:19:24,881 --> 00:19:25,840 We couldn't get back any faster. 418 00:19:25,882 --> 00:19:26,841 We'd have gotten here if we could... 419 00:19:26,883 --> 00:19:28,468 That's what you're getting paid for. 420 00:19:28,510 --> 00:19:29,928 Then I want a raise. 421 00:19:37,018 --> 00:19:38,770 Cor! Blimey. 422 00:19:38,812 --> 00:19:39,771 LeBEAU: They are beautiful! 423 00:19:39,813 --> 00:19:40,772 Boy, look at that. 424 00:19:40,814 --> 00:19:41,773 Smashing, aren't they? 425 00:19:41,815 --> 00:19:43,566 LeBEAU: Boy! 426 00:19:43,608 --> 00:19:45,944 Beautiful fakes. 427 00:19:45,944 --> 00:19:47,529 They could fool an expert. 428 00:19:48,697 --> 00:19:51,282 Oh, magnifique! 429 00:19:56,621 --> 00:19:59,999 Very nice, indeed. 430 00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:01,626 Never tell they're rubbish. 431 00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,586 Here's your raise. 432 00:20:03,628 --> 00:20:05,046 Merci, mon pote. 433 00:20:05,088 --> 00:20:07,340 You know, Colonel, I had a bird once in London, 434 00:20:07,382 --> 00:20:08,550 a duchess she was... 435 00:20:08,591 --> 00:20:10,635 Newkirk, save it for your memoirs. 436 00:20:10,635 --> 00:20:12,262 Listen... 437 00:20:12,303 --> 00:20:13,972 this is our plan for tomorrow night. 438 00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:16,057 Klink has agreed to let us out of here. 439 00:20:16,099 --> 00:20:17,142 I've sold him on the idea 440 00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:18,852 of grabbing Hegel with this stuff on him. 441 00:20:18,893 --> 00:20:20,478 We go out first, 442 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,605 Klink follows with his men after the delivery. 443 00:20:22,647 --> 00:20:23,982 Great. 444 00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,650 Well, what's to keep Hegel from talking 445 00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:26,734 when Klink arrests him? 446 00:20:26,776 --> 00:20:28,611 If he doesn't try any fancy footwork, 447 00:20:28,653 --> 00:20:29,946 there won't be an arrest. 448 00:20:29,988 --> 00:20:32,282 We let him get away with his pound of glass. 449 00:20:32,323 --> 00:20:34,284 Yeah, but suppose he does try a double cross? 450 00:20:34,325 --> 00:20:35,910 That's why we bought the policy 451 00:20:35,952 --> 00:20:37,871 from the Klink Insurance Company. 452 00:20:44,669 --> 00:20:46,421 All clear in the back of the barn, sir. 453 00:20:46,463 --> 00:20:47,464 Just a guard. 454 00:20:47,505 --> 00:20:48,965 All right, now, look. 455 00:20:49,007 --> 00:20:50,633 When we get inside the barn, 456 00:20:50,675 --> 00:20:52,427 under no circumstances go near the door. 457 00:20:52,469 --> 00:20:53,428 Understood? 458 00:20:53,845 --> 00:20:55,346 Let's go. 459 00:21:00,018 --> 00:21:01,686 Achtung! 460 00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:05,565 All ready, Schultz? 461 00:21:05,607 --> 00:21:07,775 Jawohl, Herr Kommandant, at your order. 462 00:21:07,817 --> 00:21:09,402 Good. 463 00:21:09,444 --> 00:21:13,698 Now, men, tonight we are going on a dangerous mission. 464 00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,034 Some of us may not return, 465 00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:17,577 so I want you to... 466 00:21:17,619 --> 00:21:19,078 Herr Kommandant, please. 467 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:22,916 I just remembered, I have a little personal problem. 468 00:21:22,957 --> 00:21:24,751 Please, Herr Kommandant, 469 00:21:24,792 --> 00:21:27,754 may I request a three-day pass? 470 00:21:27,795 --> 00:21:30,215 Schultz, you are a coward! 471 00:21:30,215 --> 00:21:31,216 Who is arguing? 472 00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:34,219 Silence! Into the truck. 473 00:21:34,219 --> 00:21:35,845 Into the truck! 474 00:21:38,973 --> 00:21:42,560 So, London decided to save you after all. 475 00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:45,563 There's not a diamond left in the British Isles. 476 00:21:45,563 --> 00:21:47,523 Nice lot of merchandise you got there, Major. 477 00:21:47,565 --> 00:21:51,235 Yeah, they sparkle just like glass. 478 00:22:04,123 --> 00:22:06,542 Achtung! Achtung! 479 00:22:06,584 --> 00:22:08,503 This is Colonel Klink speaking! 480 00:22:08,544 --> 00:22:09,963 You're surrounded! 481 00:22:10,004 --> 00:22:11,798 There is no chance to escape! 482 00:22:11,839 --> 00:22:14,133 Come out with your hands up! 483 00:22:14,175 --> 00:22:16,344 I give you two minutes. 484 00:22:16,386 --> 00:22:18,054 Klink must have followed us here. 485 00:22:18,096 --> 00:22:19,263 Good! 486 00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:21,724 He will save me the trouble of killing you. 487 00:22:21,766 --> 00:22:23,101 Look, Hegel, you can still make it 488 00:22:23,101 --> 00:22:23,977 by going out the back way. 489 00:22:24,185 --> 00:22:26,145 We'll cover for you. You got your payoff. 490 00:22:26,187 --> 00:22:27,981 You and your girlfriend can live happily ever after. 491 00:22:28,022 --> 00:22:30,108 Myra? She's dead. 492 00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:32,610 And did you really think I'd let you live? 493 00:22:32,652 --> 00:22:33,945 Achtung! 494 00:22:33,987 --> 00:22:37,615 Inside the barn! Your time is up! 495 00:22:37,615 --> 00:22:40,368 I'm going out that door alone, 496 00:22:40,410 --> 00:22:43,663 and order him to blast this barn to pieces. 497 00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:46,833 Hegel, you're making a mistake. 498 00:22:46,874 --> 00:22:47,792 Go through with the deal 499 00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:48,626 and you're home free. 500 00:22:53,631 --> 00:22:54,966 Colonel Klink! 501 00:22:54,966 --> 00:22:56,426 He has a gun! Fire! 502 00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:10,815 Go on, Colonel Hogan. 503 00:23:10,815 --> 00:23:12,150 Well, sir, we were being pursued 504 00:23:12,191 --> 00:23:13,234 by Colonel Klink, 505 00:23:13,276 --> 00:23:14,902 so we broke into this barn. 506 00:23:14,944 --> 00:23:15,987 No one has ever escaped from... 507 00:23:15,987 --> 00:23:17,864 You're not testifying. 508 00:23:17,905 --> 00:23:20,158 He really is a bloodhound, sir. 509 00:23:21,534 --> 00:23:22,493 Silence! 510 00:23:23,619 --> 00:23:26,289 Continue, Colonel. 511 00:23:26,330 --> 00:23:27,957 Well, we figured we had it made, 512 00:23:27,999 --> 00:23:30,168 then this man walked in and surprised us. 513 00:23:30,168 --> 00:23:31,294 Major Hegel? 514 00:23:31,335 --> 00:23:32,170 That's right. 515 00:23:32,170 --> 00:23:33,421 He had us cold. 516 00:23:33,463 --> 00:23:35,423 Then Colonel Klink arrived with his men and opened fire, 517 00:23:35,465 --> 00:23:36,507 not realizing, of course, 518 00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:38,342 there was a German officer in the barn. 519 00:23:38,342 --> 00:23:41,804 And Major Hegel was the only one who was killed? 520 00:23:41,846 --> 00:23:43,890 Yes, sir. Sir, I assure you, had I known... 521 00:23:43,931 --> 00:23:45,725 Yes, sir. 522 00:23:45,766 --> 00:23:47,310 Accident of war. 523 00:23:47,351 --> 00:23:49,896 Hegel died a hero's death, 524 00:23:49,937 --> 00:23:52,023 and we will see to it that you and your men 525 00:23:52,023 --> 00:23:53,357 are severely punished. 526 00:23:53,357 --> 00:23:54,734 You will be taken to Berlin 527 00:23:54,775 --> 00:23:56,777 for further questioning. 528 00:23:56,819 --> 00:23:59,071 Sir, I must protest. 529 00:23:59,113 --> 00:24:01,073 Colonel Hogan is my prisoner. 530 00:24:01,115 --> 00:24:04,452 His crime is against the authority of Stalag 13. 531 00:24:04,494 --> 00:24:06,871 I will see to his punishment. 532 00:24:09,916 --> 00:24:11,292 Very well, Klink. 533 00:24:11,334 --> 00:24:12,543 Heil Hitler. 534 00:24:12,543 --> 00:24:14,504 Heil Hitler! 535 00:24:18,216 --> 00:24:20,593 Hogan, you are the biggest liar 536 00:24:20,635 --> 00:24:22,470 I've ever met in my whole life. 537 00:24:26,766 --> 00:24:31,103 Colonel Hogan, he said a terrible thing to you. 538 00:24:31,145 --> 00:24:32,271 I know. 539 00:24:32,313 --> 00:24:34,398 He called you a liar. 540 00:24:34,398 --> 00:24:37,526 He really knows how to hurt a guy. 37625

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