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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,381 Hey, wouldn't it be cool if our duck and our chick had a little baby? 2 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,675 We could call it Chuck. 3 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,221 Or dick. 4 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,682 Hey. Chandler & Joey: Hey. 5 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,393 Listen, I need a favor. 6 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,730 I was in the shower, and as I was... 7 00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:25,484 Cleansing myself, I, uh... Well, I felt something. 8 00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,862 Was it like a sneeze, only better? 9 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,158 No, no. I mean, like, a thing on my body. 10 00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:34,993 Well, what was it? 11 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:38,956 Well, I don't know. It's kind of in a place that's not... 12 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:43,210 It's not visually accessible to me. And I was hoping maybe you guys... 13 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,628 Could help me out. 14 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,505 - Whoa! - Whoa! No. 15 00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:49,132 Come on, you guys. It's no big deal. 16 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,051 Both: Hey, hey, hey. 17 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,223 Well, what is it? Is it a mole? 18 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,852 No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole. 19 00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,230 Ew. Is it...? What, a pimple? 20 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,151 No, it's... 21 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,654 Fancier than a pimple. 22 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,901 - Look, Ross, just go see a doc... - Guys, what's...? 23 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,081 Okay, well, it's definite. Two more weeks of winter. 24 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,624 - Yeah, right. - Ah. 25 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:18,388 And, um, this is the coffeehouse. This is where I play my music. 26 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,557 - Good deal. - Yeah, and these are my friends. 27 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,976 People? This is Vince. Vince, the people. 28 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,311 Rachel: Hi. 29 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,314 - Hey. - Vince is a fireman. 30 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:30,942 Wow. Have you ever rescued anyone from a burning building before? 31 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,570 Ninety-eight hot saves. Highest on the force. 32 00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,739 Well, you know, if Joey and I play with matches... 33 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:37,824 We could get you up to an even 100. 34 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,537 - Fire safety is not a joke, son. - Ha, ha. Oh. 35 00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:46,708 You're right. I know. 36 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,544 Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. 37 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,672 - See you Saturday. - Okay. 38 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:55,676 Wow, he's cute, pheebs. 39 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,928 But I thought you just started dating that teacher. 40 00:02:58,095 --> 00:02:59,179 Oh, Jason? Rachel: Yeah. 41 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,390 Uh-huh. We're seeing each other tonight. Ahem. 42 00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,225 Well, pheebs? 43 00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:06,061 Two dates in one day? That's so unlike you. 44 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:09,731 I know, I know. I'm, like, playing the field, you know? 45 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:13,819 I'm juggling two guys. I'm sowing my wild oats, you know? 46 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:18,281 You know, this kind of, like, you know, oat-sowing, field-playing juggler. 47 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,283 So, pheebs, do they know about each other? 48 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:23,245 Does a dog's lips move when he reads? 49 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,668 Okay, no, they don't know. 50 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,714 Hey, guys. All: Hi. 51 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,218 - Joey: Well? - How'd it go at the doctor's? 52 00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:42,305 Well, he said there's definitely nothing to worry about. It's totally benign. 53 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,808 - Well, what is it? - He couldn't even tell me. 54 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:50,605 He said it was just some sort of skin abnormality. 55 00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:54,443 And the worse thing is, he said not being able to identify it... 56 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:56,361 He was reluctant to remove it. 57 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,280 You know what? You should go to my guy. 58 00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:00,866 Because when I went in there with my third nipple... 59 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,202 - He just lopped it right off, you know? - Yeah? 60 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,329 - So I guess I'm lucky. - Heh. 61 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:10,542 I mean, not as lucky as people who are born with two nipples. 62 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:14,880 At least they knew what yours was. You know? Yours had a name. 63 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:18,592 Oh. Maybe they'll name yours after you. 64 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,845 You know? They'd call it the Ross. 65 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:25,557 And then people would be, like, "oh, he's got a Ross." 66 00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:29,311 Yeah, that'd be cool. 67 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:32,939 Pete's breaking up with me. 68 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,274 All: What? 69 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,359 Yeah, I just checked my messages. 70 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:39,946 He said that when he gets back from Atlanta, "we need to talk." 71 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:41,865 And? Monica: Well, that's it. 72 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:45,410 People never say, "we need to talk," unless it's something bad. 73 00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:48,497 Whoa. That doesn't necessarily mean he's breaking up with you. 74 00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:49,998 - Phoebe: Yeah. - Really? 75 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,834 Yeah. Maybe he just cheated on you. 76 00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:01,676 And I know I'll never get rich doing it, but I gotta tell you, it's pretty cool... 77 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,387 Knowing you're making a difference in a kid's life. 78 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,556 That is so great. 79 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,434 - Oh, my god. - Oh. 80 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:10,894 - Oh, my god! - Ooh. 81 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:13,396 - Uh, we'd better call the fire department. - No.No. 82 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,566 - No, no? - Well, we don't need a fireman. 83 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,735 We need, like, a good mechanic. 84 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,240 Oh, my god. Here they come. We gotta get out of here. 85 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,491 Vvah. why? 86 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,369 Look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one, okay? 87 00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,123 That's all it is, a third nipple. 88 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:35,919 You know? Just your run-of—the-mill third nipple. Yeah. 89 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:39,631 You can take it off. Just slice that baby right off. 90 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:42,926 Take your shirt off and let's see what we're dealing with here. 91 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,305 What are you doing? 92 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:52,727 Just showing you my run-of-the-mill, slice-it-right-off third nipple. 93 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:55,730 - Well, that's not a third nipple. - Oh? 94 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,191 First of all, it's on your ass. 95 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:00,527 Well, then what is it? 96 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,946 Wait a minute. Hold it. 97 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:08,118 - Jansen, will you come in here a moment? - Jansen: I'm with Hamilton. 98 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,620 He's good with weird things. Bring him in too. 99 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,458 I gotta go water Pete's plants. 100 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:19,796 You know what? If he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants. 101 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:23,884 Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants... 102 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,805 If you know what I mean. 103 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,932 Or, ha, ha... 104 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,435 We could go over there and pee on them. 105 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,064 I can't take it, you know? 106 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,942 I'm always afraid one of them is gonna catch me with the other. 107 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,652 It's making me crazy. 108 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,322 Well, honey, why don't you break up with one of them? 109 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:49,659 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened to playing the field? 110 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,995 Well, it doesn't feel like playing anymore. 111 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:55,332 It's feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field. 112 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:59,169 - So, pheebs, pick one of them. - Yeah, which one do you like more? 113 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:03,673 Well, Vince is great, you know? Because he's, like, a "guy" guy. 114 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:07,969 You know? He's just so burly, so very burly. 115 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,515 Okay, good. So there you go. Go with Vince. 116 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,517 Yeah, but Jason's really sensitive. 117 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,021 - Well, sensitive is important. Pick him. - Yeah. 118 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:20,982 Oh, sure. Go with the sissy. 119 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,319 Jason is not a sissy. 120 00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,696 Oh, no, no, no. I meant Chandler. 121 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:40,710 You know, I have dinner plans. 122 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:45,215 Thank you so much for coming on such a short notice. 123 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:49,469 Ladies and gentlemen, I've been practicing medicine for 23 years... 124 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:52,263 And I'm stumped. 125 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,777 Okay, this is the den. 126 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:08,488 All right, check this out. Lights. 127 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:12,075 Whoa. All right, less lights. Bad lights. 128 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,202 Lights, go away. 129 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,206 Aw, see? You just need to find the right command. 130 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:20,959 Yes. And the dimmer switch. 131 00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:24,504 Whoa. For a rich guy, that's a pretty small TV. 132 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,381 No, no, no. That's the videophone. 133 00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:30,260 But hey, guys, you're not supposed to be here, so please don't touch anything. 134 00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:33,722 Ikea, this is comfortable. 135 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,975 This place is amazing. 136 00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:39,811 - Oh, god. That is the nicest kitchen. - I know. 137 00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:41,521 No, no. It's the nicest kitchen. 138 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,940 The refrigerator told me to have a great day. 139 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,610 Look at this, a millionaire's checkbook. 140 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,154 Joey, put that down. 141 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,949 Oh, my god, that's Pete. Okay, get out. 142 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:56,286 - How the hell do you answer a videophone? - Monica? 143 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,457 I guess that's how. 144 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,250 Hey, Monica, how's it going? 145 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:05,211 Oh, it's good. It's, um... it's good. 146 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,130 Just here, watering the plants. 147 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,466 Well, don't forget that ficus over there by Rachel. 148 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,553 Ha. Chandler's on the couch. 149 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:18,308 Yeah, / see him. You guys are just the worst hiders ever. 150 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:21,561 - Hi, Pete. - How you doing? 151 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,313 Uh, Pete, um... 152 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,565 The other day when you said you needed to talk... 153 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:29,319 Um, just so I know, is it good news or bad news? 154 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,821 Oh, it's good news. No, it's definitely good news. 155 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,574 Hold on a second, I have another call. 156 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,159 Hey, how's it going? 157 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,119 No, no, no, it's still me. 158 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,205 No, it's not. I've got picture-in-picture here. 159 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:45,502 Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'm gonna have to call you back later. 160 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,296 Monica? You. I'm gonna have to call you back. 161 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:51,174 Oh. Oh, okay. Um, so I'll see you soon. 162 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,343 - Okay. [Love you. - I love you. 163 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,887 All: We love you too. 164 00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:58,264 Monica: Okay. 165 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,683 Well, it's good news. It's good news. 166 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:04,062 - So, what do you think the good news is? - Joey: Look at this. 167 00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:08,566 He wrote a check for $50,000 to Hugo lindgren's ring design. 168 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,862 Oh. Sorry. Uh, what do you think the good news is? 169 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,658 Oh, my. 170 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,827 Monica's gonna marry a millionaire. 171 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,705 Hey, you gotta get mom on the phone. Call mom. Call mom. 172 00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,707 Hello? 173 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,210 And that's Pete's mom. Ha, ha. 174 00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,801 No, mon, you have to make it a theme wedding. 175 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,511 And the theme could be: 176 00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,847 "Look how much money we've got." 177 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:43,226 You know? I mean, you could put money in the invitations. 178 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:46,354 You could have, like, little-money place settings. 179 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,565 And, uh, you could start with a money salad. 180 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:52,402 I mean, it'll be dry, but people will like it. 181 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:53,903 Would you stop? 182 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:57,365 We've only gone out a couple of weeks. We don't know if he'll propose. 183 00:10:57,532 --> 00:11:00,118 Yes, but this is Pete, okay? He's not like other people. 184 00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:01,995 On your first date, he took you to Rome. 185 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:06,166 For most guys, that's like a third or fourth date kind of thing. 186 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,128 Well, if that's what it is, then it's crazy. 187 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,256 Monica's right. We're talking about getting married here. 188 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,675 Okay? She can't just rush into this. 189 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:19,220 Oh, what do you know? You married a lesbian. 190 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,520 All right. I gotta go. I have to break up with Vince. 191 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,856 Oh. So you're going with the teacher, huh? 192 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:33,860 Yeah. I like Vince a lot, you know? But Jason is so sensitive, you know? 193 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:37,447 And in the long run, I think sensitive is better than having... 194 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:41,701 Just, like, a really, really, really nice body. 195 00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,207 Jason. Definitely Jason. 196 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,626 Wish me luck. All: Good luck. 197 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:53,504 Oh, my god. 198 00:11:56,132 --> 00:12:00,637 Sorry. I was just imagining what it'd be like to catch the money bouquet. 199 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,853 Excuse me. Um, is Vince here? 200 00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,146 Oh, sure. 201 00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:11,606 Vince. Vince: Yo. 202 00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:17,820 Phoebe: Wow. I didn't know you guys actually used those. 203 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,114 So, what's up? 204 00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,745 This isn't gonna be easy. Um... 205 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,874 I don't think we should see each other anymore. 206 00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,504 Good deal. 207 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:37,674 - I'm sorry. - No, it's okay. 208 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:42,720 It's just that, uh, I thought we had something pretty special here. 209 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:47,100 An you know, I felt like you were someone I could finally open up to. 210 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,770 There's so much in me I haven't shared with you yet. 211 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:54,983 - Oh, my god. I didn't know you were so... - I'm sorry. I can't talk. 212 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,987 I'm gonna go write in my journal. 213 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:03,950 Phoebe: Wait. Wait. Wait. 214 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:10,206 I'm telling you, if you wanna take care of that thing, go see my herbal guy. 215 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:15,044 Thank you, but I wanna remove it, pheebs. I don't wanna make it savory. 216 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:19,966 You know, when girls sleep with guys with weird things on their body... 217 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,302 They tell their friends about it. 218 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,512 Give me that. 219 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:31,394 Hi. Okay, don't be mad at me, but I couldn't resist. 220 00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:32,729 Bride's magazines? 221 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,606 Yes, and I know that you said you'd say no if he asked you... 222 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,943 But I'm sorry, how great would you look walking down the aisle... 223 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,237 In this Donna karan? 224 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:44,324 Oh, you so would. 225 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,117 Oh, you should get that anyway. 226 00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:49,871 Well, for clubbing. 227 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,248 It is so weird. 228 00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:55,585 I know what I said. But, um, this morning... 229 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:59,255 I was lying in bed, I was imagining what it'd be like to say yes. 230 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,428 I know it's a little sudden, and it's rushed... 231 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:08,181 And it's totally not like me to do something like this. 232 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:11,434 But that doesn't mean I can't. Right? 233 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,394 I mean, I'm crazy about Pete. 234 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:16,147 And I know that we want the same things. 235 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,816 And when I thought about saying yes... 236 00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,818 It made me really happy. 237 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,779 Oh, my god. 238 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,990 I know. 239 00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,867 I need more pie. 240 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:33,956 Hey, mon, um, if you do get married, can I bring two guests? 241 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,961 You didn't break up with that fireman? 242 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,047 No, that was my way of telling you. 243 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,634 Well, it turns out he's incredibly sensitive. 244 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:47,053 He keeps a journal and he paints. 245 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,430 He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me. 246 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:54,852 He'd prefer watercolors, but, you know, he has easy access to a lot of charcoal. 247 00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,357 So then are you gonna dump Jason? 248 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:02,819 Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone and... 249 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:06,989 Okay, so Jason is sensitive. But now, so is Vince. 250 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,575 Plus Vince has the body. You know? 251 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:15,373 It's really just about the math. 252 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:25,174 Jason. Jason: Yeah, come on in. 253 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,059 Uh, Phoebe, you sounded serious on the phone. 254 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:37,228 Is, uh, anything wrong? 255 00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:57,165 You must be Ross. 256 00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:01,377 - Hi. - I am guru saj. 257 00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:08,050 Listen, I gotta tell you, I've never been to a guru before, so... 258 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:11,137 Well, relax. If it makes you feel any better, I've attended... 259 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,640 Some of the finest medical schools in Central America. 260 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:18,728 Well, then, let's take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. 261 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,813 Come on, have a seat. 262 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:27,862 Aha. As I suspected, it's a kundus. 263 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,199 What's a "kundus"? 264 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:34,952 I don't know. What's a kundus with you? 265 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,833 Please lie down. 266 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,920 I've got a salve that ought to shrink that right up. 267 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,255 Well, I guess it's worth a try. 268 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,508 Oh, sure. We should see results... 269 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,427 Whoa! Clearly not the way to go. 270 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,514 What? What? 271 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,807 We appear to have angered it. 272 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,227 We? We angered it? 273 00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:03,481 Oh. I think I see the problem. 274 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,610 And I'm afraid we're gonna have to use a much stronger tool. 275 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,780 Love. 276 00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,074 Oh, god. 277 00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:18,704 Ross, there is absolutely no way this is gonna come off... 278 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,581 Unless you start to... —ow. 279 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:23,125 - Oops. - What was that? 280 00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,586 Well, it's gone. 281 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:27,713 How's that? 282 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,924 Got caught in my watch. 283 00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:32,510 Hey, ha, ha. 284 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,722 Lights. 285 00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:40,059 Uh, romantic lights. 286 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,979 Ooh, nice. Ha, ha. 287 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:46,566 So, uh, there was this thing I wanted to talk to you about. 288 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:50,611 Oh, right. I completely forgot about that. 289 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,322 Well, uh... 290 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,658 I've been doing a lot of thinking. 291 00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:57,785 And I look at my life... 292 00:17:57,952 --> 00:17:59,495 Yeah? 293 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:02,999 And I feel like I've conquered the business world. 294 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:06,877 And I feel like I've conquered the intellectual world. 295 00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:10,631 And now I have the most beautiful woman in the world. 296 00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,387 But there's one thing missing. 297 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,931 What's that? 298 00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:23,561 It's time for me to conquer the physical world. 299 00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:27,565 Okay. 300 00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:32,403 Monica? I wanna become... 301 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:35,364 The ultimate fighting champion. 302 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,242 You wanna what? 303 00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:41,287 I wanna become the ultimate fighting champion. 304 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,081 It's the most intense physical competition in the world. 305 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,958 It's banned in 49 states. 306 00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:48,377 What are you talking about? 307 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,224 Okay, my trainer, hoshi, is teaching me... 308 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:53,049 A combination of jeet kune do and Brazilian street-fighting. 309 00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:56,594 I even had my own octagon training ring designed. 310 00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:59,680 And I suppose you used a ring designer for that. 311 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:05,811 Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. 312 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,481 I want you close enough to smell the blood. 313 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,151 What do you think? 314 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,655 My parents will be so happy. 315 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,829 Crazy underwear creeping up my butt 316 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:29,502 crazy underwear always in a rut 317 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,338 crazy underwear 318 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:37,093 Phoebe: Oh, no. What is he doing here? 319 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,178 All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. 320 00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:42,014 You'll get through this. You'll be fine. 321 00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,859 Okay, thank you. 322 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:58,155 And as always, no one talk to me after the show. 323 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,202 Hey. 324 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:05,705 I just was passing by and saw you were playing. 325 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,540 This is kind of cool, seeing you up there. 326 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,166 Well, hey. 327 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,127 Vvhoa, hey, hey. 328 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,379 What's going on here? Who's this guy? 329 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:18,050 I don't know. He just started kissing me. Get him, Vince. 330 00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:21,262 Both: What? 331 00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:24,724 Yeah, okay, I've been dating both of you. 332 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:29,311 And it's been really horrible, because, you know, it's been... 333 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,731 A lot of fun for me. 334 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:37,361 But I like you both... 335 00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,989 And I didn't know how to choose. 336 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:43,951 So I'm sorry. I'm terrible. I'm a terrible person. I'm terrible. 337 00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:47,621 Phoebe, Phoebe. Relax. It's okay. I mean... 338 00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:49,832 We never said this was exclusive. 339 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:53,085 Yeah, neither did we. So give yourself a break. 340 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:55,045 Really? 341 00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:58,340 Yeah, I mean, you know, we haven't been going out that long. 342 00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:02,052 Come on, we haven't even slept together yet. Ha, ha. 343 00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:03,721 You haven't? 344 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:09,935 - You have? - Okay, well, this is none of my business. 345 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:15,858 I can't believe this. You slept with him? 346 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,819 Well, I made you a candlelight dinner in the park. 347 00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:22,990 You know, Phoebe, I'm gonna make this real easy for you. 348 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:32,124 Well, that could've been really awkward. 349 00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:38,130 You made him a candlelight dinner in the park? 350 00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:42,134 Yeah, but I can do that for you. I'm gonna do that for you. 351 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,553 You know, I can't believe I went out with somebody... 352 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,599 Who'd actually have an open flame in the middle of a wooded area. 353 00:21:57,691 --> 00:22:00,402 Everything's gonna be all right. 354 00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:03,239 Okay, dick? 355 00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:07,785 Hello. I am guru saj. 356 00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:13,488 He's supposed to be a duck, right? Because othen/vise... 357 00:22:13,624 --> 00:22:16,001 This is way out of my league. 358 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:20,840 Yeah, yeah. He's got a really bad cough, and our vet, he can't do anything about it. 359 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,133 - Is there something you can do? - Hmm. 360 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:25,302 Let me see. 361 00:22:25,636 --> 00:22:27,888 Let me see. 362 00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,684 Do you think you could get him to eat a bat? 26965

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