All language subtitles for Big.Trouble.1986

[♪♪]

[HARMONIZING]

People...

People, no humming
with your mouths full.

Boys, eat the protein
and get the hell out.

Come on.

Joshua, Peter, Michael,
move it, now.

Come on.

Come on. Hey.

[WHISTLES]

Get the hell to school.
You're very late.

Sandwiches.
Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.
Love you.

I love you,
Mom.

Goodbye, Pop.

Bye.

[HARMONIZING]

Mother?

Bye.

Sorry about the mess
in there.

I'm going to be late,
so have a good day.

Tell Peter
to drive carefully.

Is Peter driving?

Yeah, he's driving.

Peter,
drive carefully.

Talk to you later.

Bye, Dad.
See you later.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Honey, can you get that?

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

[HOOTING AND HONKING]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Get that, honey.

Hello?

Doris, don't start.
I can't talk.

Yeah, a lot of dishes, okay?
I'll talk to you later.

Okay. Bye-bye.

Okay.

I go to bed
at 10:00 at night.

I'm up at midnight.

I'm out here, figuring,
looking, hoping, searching--

nothing.

I go to bed at 1:00.

I sleep for
an hour and a half,

I come back here,

I'm here till 4:30
in the morning,

looking, hoping, praying,
searching--nothing.

I shave at 5:00
in the morning.

I'm ready for work
at 6:00,

and I come back here,

and then I'm late for work
every day for two weeks in a row

so don't, please,
don't give me any pressure.

Well, we have to do it.
We have to do it.

We can't do it.

Leonard, honey,
today is Tuesday,

so that means the kids'
tuition has to be in when?

It has to be in on Monday.
Monday.

I was up all night
trying to figure it out.

Even with mortgaging
the house, second mortgages,

my mother dying suddenly...

they can't go to Yale.

They have to--
What do you mean, they can't go?

Scholarship didn't come through.
What can I do?

Leonard, I can't believe Yale
would accept triplets

and not understand.

Yale just doesn't understand.
They have to go to Yale.

Yale has to understand
that they have to go there.

If they don't make any money
in their lives as musicians,

do you know what that does?

Do you know what it does?

How are they going to--
how are they going to

make any connections at,
I'll say, UCLA or CCNY?

They won't.

They'll meet basketball players,
Leonard, that's it. No help.

So Yale is the only place.

We know that.
We've talked about this,

the connections they'll make,
people with checkbooks.

Big people will say,
"You want to put on a concert?

Yeah, okay, I'll write a check.
What do you need?"

That's what will happen.

That's why
they will be going to Yale.

Okay, Seiji Ozawa, Mueller,
all of those people.

Do you know
who they are?

I don't know who they are,
but they're huge, Leonard.

They're huge.
One of them is a conductor.

Let me explain
something to you.

Yeah.

I've been through this
all night long.

I know, sweetheart.

Here. Look at this.

Tuition--$14,000--
$14,000 a year.

Multiply that by three.
That's $42,000 a year.

Add incidentals.

What happens if,
God forbid, a string breaks,

or they want to
go out to dinner

or make a phone call home?

$50,000 a year,
for one year.

They want $200,000

to send three kids to Yale
for four years.

The scholarship
didn't come through.

What can I do?

You don't have to
say anything, honey.

I'm not asking you
to say anything.

I'm just saying that
the kids are going to Yale.

They are, Leonard. Sweetheart?

Don't forget
your shirt.

The kids washing dishes,
they can't end up that way.

They're classic musicians.

I mean, we're preserving
their souls, Leonard.

Yale. Sweetheart?

Think in capital letters,
okay?

Lunch, honey.

Lunch--
have something hot.

Have something hot.
It'll do you good.

Morning, Mr. Hoffman.

This is for you.

Thank you.

Hi, Helen.

Len. Did you, by any chance,
watch Nova last night?

No.

There was a show about
twins and triplets.

I was thinking of those
wonderful boys of yours.

When do they
start Yale?

Right.

Good morning, Len.
Congratulations.

-Heard about the boys.
-Good.

Whole school's talking
about them.

Get out.

Scram.

Morning, Len.
I'd like to talk to you.

Hey, I'm going to appeal.

Be my guest.
Just get lost.

Come here.

Hey, a man has a family,
sometimes you have to do things.

You can't treat people
like they're criminals.

Man has a family.

They think
I'm an idiot.

What's his story?

Reports his car stolen,
a '78 Bonneville.

I check it out.

I find the car in a chop shop.

No forced entry.
Ignition intact.

Open and shut.
I throw the claim out.

Len, want to congratulate you.
Heard the boys made Yale.

Right.

No way you can
afford it, am I right?

I don't want
to talk about it.

Why don't you
talk to Winslow?

Winslow?

Yeah. His whole family
went to Yale.

Grandfather,
all the kids.

Maybe he'd help.

I can't talk
to Winslow.

Len, no harm trying,
right?

So he puts
his arm around her,

and she grabbed him,

did an airplane spin,

and threw him
out the window.

Mr. Hoffman's here.

Send him in.

Mr. Hoffman?

It turns out that--
Come in, come in, Hoffman.

Come in.

You're busy.

No, please,
come in, come in.

[GENTLEMEN LAUGHING]

Hoffman.

Good to see you, sir.

You came
to talk about Yale.

Yeah, not for myself.

I have three boys
and, uh...

Mr. Johnson, Mr. Samson.
Mr. Hoffman.

How do you do?

Why don't you come in here
and we can talk?

Fine.

Let's walk.
What do you say, Hoffman?

Yes. Every time I laugh,

I get upset
for the rest of the day.

I'd like to get away
from all these people.

Open the door,
will you, please?

Open it, Jim.

Yale, huh?

Yes.

I have three sons--

Is this thing open or not?

Here we go.

My wife wants me
to pick something up.

Come on in.

Thank you.

Anyway, I have three sons
and they're all--

Whoa.

I have three sons.

They're all
brilliant students,

wonderful musicians,
and terrific kids,

and they've been
accepted into Yale,

but the economic situation
being what it is--

We can't overreach
ourselves, can we, Hoffman?

No, no, that's why
I'm asking you, since--

So many people
in this country

overreach themselves
and get into debts.

It's a national tragedy.

My wife wants me
to pick this up.

What the hell is it?
You put nuts in it?

Jujubes?

Well, anyway, I thought,
your having been there,

perhaps you could call
the scholarship committee.

You know,
I graduated in 1950,

and my son Edward
graduated in '74.

My younger son, St. Clair
graduates this year.

St. Clair
graduates this year?

My God,
how time flies.

Yes, he'll be coming
to work here soon,

as the vice president.

Boy, that's a very good
head start.

Ah, he's a bright boy.

Very proud of my family,
Hoffman.

I'm sure you are of yours.

Yeah, well, that's why
I was wondering, sir,

if you might perhaps
intercede on my behalf

and call
the scholarship committee.

It'd be unfair of me
to do that, Hoffman.

Unfair?

To use my influence
in that way.

We make our own way
in this world, Hoffman.

I'm sure your boys
understand.

It wouldn't be the same
if they got scholarships

because somebody
made a phone call.

Morning,
Mr. Hoffman.

Morning.

Congratulations--
all three.

Please, please!
Any phone calls?

Yes. A Mrs. Blanche Rickey
called from Great Hills.

This lady's desperate.

She's called three times
this morning.

Blanche Rickey?

It's about
a homeowner's policy,

but she says she must speak
with you, face to face.

Doesn't live
too far from you,

so I told her you could
stop by on your way home.

Okay.

[DOORBELL CHIMING]

Yes?

Hello. I'm Leonard Hoffman,
United Marine Insurance.

Oh. The insurance
person?

Mm-hm.

The insurance
person's here.

Well, come on in.

Thank you.

Forgive me,
but I can read minds,

not that I can
really read minds,

but I think
you're an honest person.

-Thank you.
-I'm an honest person.

Good.

I think you're very anxious
about this sale.

You need money badly.

Do you feel that
I'm trying to oversell you?

I'm an honest person. Yes.

Uh, lady,
forgive my bluntness,

but selling you
an insurance policy

is about as far
from my mind

as anything
I can think of.

Would you like a drink?

No thank you.

Do you mind if I do?

Nope.

Come on.

I'll tell you how much
this policy means to me--

Oh, that's all right.

In order for me to earn
the kind of money

you're talking about
when you say I need money,

I would have to sell
about 250 of these babies

in the next week or two.

I don't usually drink...

but my husband's
going to die.

He's a sweet guy.

It got to me

because I could never
give him children.

I don't know
if you know what I mean,

but I think
I'm killing him

by not giving him
children.

The doctor said

he doesn't expect him
to live out the week.

Oh, my God.

Listen,
forgive my asking,

but you do have
life insurance on him,

don't you?

No.

You don't have any
life insurance on him?

No.

Well, why are you
fooling around

with a homeowner's
policy, then?

Well, because--

because he's worried
about it, that's why.

He's worried
about his home.

He's worried
about my security.

He's not himself
anymore, at all.

Now he's in
with the Chinese.

I don't know what
he's doing.

He's in
with the Chinese?

Oh, never mind.

No, tell me, tell me.

Well, he has
all these debts.

I don't even know
how much.

Maybe a million.

He gambles.
He's an adventurer.

I'm not complaining--

he's a lot of fun.

I've had my share
of the heyday.

Listen, this
is none of my business,

but why haven't you ever gotten
a life insurance policy?

That's what I thought
I was doing with you.

No, no, no, no.

This is
a homeowner's policy.

That just covers the house,
the liability on the house,

things like fire.

What you needed
all this time

was a life insurance
policy.

Oh, I don't know.
You do it.

I do it?
What am I supposed to do?

Fill out a policy and
forge the doctor's name?

No.

Look, I wish you'd leave.

I wish you'd leave,

because I'm trying to

tell you something
about reality,

and you're talking
about stealing,

because that's what
that would be.

That would be stealing,
so I wish you'd just leave.

Does he know
he's going to die?

Yes.

Is he afraid?

I--I--

I don't understand.

He wants me to kill him.

I want to do it

because his pain
is so great.

I need to do it, but I can't.

He doesn't want to know
when it's going to happen,

when I'm going
to do it.

I can't contend
with that.

I just can't contend
with that.

You wanted me
to come over here

so I would figure out

some way of writing out
some insurance on him?

No. Oh, no, no, no.

Let's just not
talk about it anymore.

Okay.

I'll, uh...

I'll think about it.

I'll think.

Oh, I know
that'll never happen,

but it was sweet of you
to suggest.

I don't know
what I can do,

but I'll think about it
and you think about it,

and if somebody
thinks of something,

then I don't know,
I don't know.

That's my husband.

His heart
is surrounded by fat.

He looks like
a beautiful soul.

Okay.

All right, all right,
all right.

I'll get you
out of the truck.

Come over here
to the back of the truck.

Come on. That's right.

Here. I got something
for you.

Now, look.

I can't pay you now, fellas,

because, you see, in America,
we don't always pay with money,

but I got these--
these are your W-2s.

Government, important.

The blue ones

are individual
retirement accounts.

There's plenty
for everybody.

Hey, anybody interested
in a Mobil credit card?

In case you get a car,
this is for the gas.

Yeah, you can hang on
to the applications.

Oh. Be a winner.

This is the Publisher's
Clearing House sweepstakes.

Here's your chance
to make a quick buck.

And here, oh, boy,
American Express Gold Card.

Now, fellows, are you hungry?
Hungry?

Yeah? All right.

Now, there's
a McDonald's down the way.

No, no.

No McDonald's.

Look, just hold on
a second,

and I'll speak
to my wife,

and I'm going to ask my wife

if she can rustle up something
in the kitchen.

Okay? All right.

Darling, you're home early.

I'm in transit, sweetie.

I got to sell these Chinese
to the Hotel Sheridan.

Oh, oh. This is
Mr. Hoffman

from the insurance.

Oh.

You're the man
that's going to help me

with my homeowner's policy?

That's right.

Ooh, ooh, the Chinese.

The Chinese, darling.
The Chinese are hungry.

Do you think Wanda could
serve something for them?

Of course, darling.

You know, make them feel
nice and comfortable?

No problem.

Okay.

Wanda!

Would you care
to join us, Mr., uh...

Hoffman.

In the house,
to eat.

Mr. Hoffman.
It would be very nice.

They don't speak English,
but they're lovely people.

No. Thank you very much.

6:30 with the family,
every night, like a clock.

Oh...

Okay, come on.

Come on, come on.

All right,
move it.

[GARGLES]

What? What is that?

Oh, uh...No, it's all right.

It's all right.

No, nothing.

What?

All right.

I'm fine.

You call me
or I call you, okay?

Yeah, we'll talk.

Oh.

Thank you so much.

Sorry.

I thought you
handled it perfectly.

Well, he seemed
like a very nice man.

Steve, you know
we don't really have

anything to
feed the Chinese.

Oh, darling, everything's
going to be fine.

[♪♪]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Hello?

I'm sorry, who?

Leonard?

Okay. Hold on
just a second, please.

Some woman.

Hello?

Have I caught you
at a bad time?

Who is it?

It's Blanche.

The woman who doesn't lie
calling the man who doesn't lie.

Leonard?

Hello.

Leon...nard.

Leonard?

I want you to meet me
tomorrow morning at 10:00

at the Rexall drugstore
in Canoga Park.

Who was it?

Wrong number.

Huh.

We understand, Dad.

Sure. I mean,

we could always
go to Polytech.

They have
a pretty good

music department,
don't they?

Listen. Let's
not talk about this.

Yeah, Dad, don't
let it bother you.

We don't want you
to go broke for us.

You did
the best you could.

We still love you.

We know you're not
a Rockefeller.

I want to make something
very clear to you.

I am not a criminal.

Do you think that
I'm a criminal?

Do I look
like a criminal?

Need some cards, honey?

Yes.

Perfect.
We needed these.

I want you
to swear to me

that he's going to die
in six weeks.

I'm going to
give you the number

of our doctor,
Dr. Lopez.

I want you to call him.

I want you to
check me out with him.

Swear to me.

Swear to me.

Mr. Hoffman,
I asked you

to meet me at
the Rexall drugstore,

and you said yes
or something.

There's a deluxe
accident policy.

It pays $2.5 million
for catastrophic accidents,

and there's something
in the fine print.

What?

There's
a double-indemnity kicker.

It pays $5 million

if the insured

happens to fall off a train
and get killed.

Want some candy?
What do you think, huh?

How about some candy?

We need
a lot of stuff,

but we don't
have any candy.

You want candy?

No thank you.

We need Corn Nuts?

No, not this week.

Okay, well,
how about down here?

WOMAN OVER SPEAKER:
Mr. Sorenson.

Mr. Sorenson,
counter one.

First we have to--

First we have to--

Kill him.

Okay. First we have to--

Have to
do that thing...

Then I get on the train.

I'm dressed
exactly like him.

Everybody sees me.

At a specific point,
I jump off the train.

You're there.

We drag his...b-b-b--

Corpse.

Corpse...

I have two copies
of the policy.

The second one

is the accident policy.

That's it.

Oh, honey, hi.

He's here?
Are you crazy?

I just asked him
to come and pick me up.

Don't be so jumpy,
Leonard.

Oh, darling,
what a surprise.

Well, not really a surprise.
I knew you were coming.

Do you remember Mr. Hoffman
from the insurance?

You won't believe this.

Mr. Hoffman?

I'm just so happy
to see you.

Oh, yeah?

You know, I was up
half the night

thinking about you.

I trust you.

Thank you.

I trust your eyes.

You know, my health,
it's...

It ain't that good.

I've heard.
I've heard.

Um...

Len?

I'm going to have
a heart attack.

You have any idea
when that might be?

Now.

I'm having one right now.

I don't like people to see me
when I'm like this,

because when I get in pain,
my face contorts,

and when I'm in pain,
it's embarrassing.

Would you do
something for me?

Yes.

Would you stand
between me and Blanche

or anybody else
that might see me?

Sure, sure.

So they can't see me?
Would you do that?

Yeah, I'll do that.

Would you take off
my hat?

Yes.

Oh, God.
Oh, my God.

[CRASHING]

Steve!

Don't get near.
Don't get near.

What did you say
to him?

What did you do
to him?

Steve, darling.

Steve,
are you all right?

Steve!

What'd you do?

I didn't do anything.
He wants help.

What did you say?

Steve!

Talk to me.
Talk to me.

I'm here, I'm here.

I'm here, darling.
I'm here.

[GROANS]

Steve...

Steve....

I'm feeling better.

I'm feeling much better.

Oh, darling.

I'm much better.

Yes?

I'm going to get
some fresh air.

Of course you are,
darling.

I'm feeling better.

I'm fine.

Uh, Leonard, would you take care
of these things here?

Honey, I'm going to go out
and get some fresh air.

Of course.

Mr. Hoffman,
Mr. Hoffman,

thank you very much
for everything.

I'd like to give--

Honey, I don't have
a lot of time.

We'll see you tomorrow?

Everything's fine.

He said
he'd see us tomorrow.

[GUNS FIRING ON TELEVISION]

Troops, people would like to
get some sleep here.

Out!

[DOORBELL CHIMING]

Well, hello again.
Come on in.

Leonard!

There he is.

How wonderful.

Leonard.

Leonard.

Oh, I thought of you
so often.

It's so good
to see you.

Oh, what a pleasure.

Come on in. My goodness.

Oh, that face.

I love that face.

Thank you.

I have papers here in case
you'd like to look at them.

Oh. Oh, oh, very important.

Very important.

Business.

Uh, I think we should
go in the solarium.

Right.
The solarium.

There's more light.

Mm-hm.

The papers--

[BIRD CAWS]

Papers...

Okay...

See, my wife tells me

you're a wonderful
conversationalist,

that you're virtually

on the genius level
of intelligence.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Oh, my goodness.

I would love to talk
philosophy with you some time.

I'd like that.
I'd like that very much.

Now, what kind of philosophy
do you like, Leonard?

I like simple philosophy.

I'd love to be able
to work with Leonard together.

Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Wonderful.

Make a lot of money, Leonard,

but the only problem
is that

we do have, uh--well,

we lose a lot of people
on the boat

because of the malaria
and the beriberi,

so sometimes the boats come in
and they're full of dead people,

and then, of course,

you've got real trouble
with the customs,

and it doesn't
make any difference

how good a bullshitter
you are.

Well, I'll...
I'll stick to insurance.

Okay...

Here's the copies
of the policy.

You do have two copies,
don't you, Mr. Hoffman?

Yeah, two copies.

Yes.

Two? Why two?

Oh, one is just
an office copy.

Well, why do I have to sign
an office copy?

Procedure.

Well, maybe I ought to see
what I'm signing.

I might be signing
my life away.

Yes, we encourage people to look
at what they're signing.

Aw, it's just a little joke,
Leonard.

[CHUCKLING]

Okay, here's the pen here.

And here's...the copy.

Boy, you ought to
do something

about that tremor, Len.

Yes, it's too much coffee
in the morning.

Have you ever tried Brim?

No.

You know, it's
the same as coffee,

only without
the caffeine.

I've heard that.
I've heard that.

All right, here we are.

Steve...

Rickey.

All right?

Okay.

And here...

Steve...R-I-

C-K-E-Y.

Well, that's done.

Well, I guess
the old homestead's safe

for another year.

Yeah, I think
that calls for a drink.

Leonard?

I don't drink.

No, no, no, no, no.

I've got something
that you must taste.

Uh, this is a sardine liqueur.

It's from Norway. Have ever
you had this, Leonard?

No.

Fabulous.
Almost impossible to find.

Honey?

No, thank you, dear.

No. Well, she doesn't
touch the stuff.

You know, it's really

a man's drink.

Uh, say when, Len.

When.

[STEVE CHUCKLES]

You know, in Norway,

the new sardine liqueur
is released

on Vaevunstaedter's day,
they say,

on November 1st
each year.

There are lines
around the block.

Leonard, to us,
to the future,

to the house.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, no.

Oh, oh,
it's my mistake.

[RETCHING]

I have something
else here.

[RETCHING]

I know you'll like this.
This is a brandy.

It's Mexican, but it's
surprisingly smooth.

[RETCHING]

I know you'll like this.

I'm sorry.
That was my mistake.

I'll try this myself,

and I'm not supposed to
drink this.

I'll just try this.
Try it out.

Excuse me.

[RETCHING]

No, thank you very much.

I have an 11:30
I ought to get to.

That's delicious. Blanche.

I'll see you guys.

Blanche, you try this.

LEONARD: Excuse me.

Blanche, try this.
You know, you must.

I beg you.

LEONARD: I really
have had plenty. Thank you.

I'm going to
have some more.

[CLEARING THROAT]

I'll pour some in a glass
for you, Leonard.

This was fine.
This was plenty.

I'll just pour. Here.

Sustaining substantial damage
to bumpers, headlights,

and deluxe wheel covers.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Congratulations.

On what?

On what?

I heard you sold some dodo
our deluxe accident policy

on Tuesday.

-Oh.
-Oh?

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

That's the world's
worst policy.

You must have
some line of bullshit.

Pays double
for falling off a choo-choo.

Doesn't pay
for plane accidents.

You must've sold it
to a half-wit.

A Mrs. Rex All

on the line.

Who?

Rex All?

Rexall, the drugstore?

Well, that's what
she said her name was.

Oh, no, no.
Man, that's a lie.

Nobody has a name
like that.

She said
she knew you.

Oh...

Not Mr. Hoffman.

Well, he's a man,
ain't he?

Go on. Hurry up.

Hello?

Yes, this is he.

He broke his foot, Leonard.

He's going to the Army reunion
tomorrow night on the 7:01.

He suggested you drive him.

Well, he was so impressed
by you--

Leonard this, Leonard that--
he constantly refers to you--

and he hates the way I drive.

I guess it's perfect.

I'll sit in the back,
and then, at the right moment,

I'll put him
out of his misery.

A tan suit? I don't--

Yes, yes, I'll have
those papers for you tomorrow.

Goodbye.

Dr. Lopez, please.

My name is Insurance.
Mr. Insurance.

Hold on, please.

Doctor?

Doctor?

Yes?

Yeah, hi, Dr. Lopez.

I'm with
Safe and Sound Casualty.

We have a Mr. Steve Rickey

that's applying
for life insurance,

and we need information.

Ah, si, si, si.

Yes, sir, I would like
to recommend,

but it is impossible.

Señor Rickey
has very bad condition.

Around the heart,
the arteries have a hard-on.

Well, that's very bad for him,
but good to know.

Doctor, thank you very much
for your honesty.

[HORN HONKING]

Hello, Leonard.

Hi. Everything
all right?

Ah, don't worry about me,
darling.

Leonard's here to help.

Please let me
help you, darling.

STEVE: You're so sweet.
I'm fine.

Leonard's here.

What happened?

What?

Your foot?

I tripped
putting on my pants.

And you're wearing
the same suit as I am.

Oh, ho, ho.

Can you put this
in the trunk, Mr. Hoffman?

Can I help you
with this here?

Why don't you
get in back?

Thank you.

I don't even know
why the hell

I'm going on this foot.

Now, Len, if you
were coming with me,

then I'd have fun.

I'm sure you'll have
a wonderful time.

I'm sorry I said that.

The foot's killing me.

He's been a terror
all day.

Well, you all set there?
You all organized?

Oh.

What the hell was that?

What?

Did you make a noise?

No, I didn't.

You're hearing things,
darling.

We'd better get started.
I'll go put this in the trunk.

You're going
the wrong way.

Leonard, look at me,
turn around.

The station's
the other way.

Leonard, look,

we're passing
a cemetery.

It's deserted here.

I don't know.
I give up.

I'm lost.

Now!

Now what?

[SCREAMING]

Is it over yet?

[GAGGING]

No. Jesus!

Just get it
over with!

Goddamn it.

Get it over!

I don't want
to hear it.

It's a mercy killing.

It's all right.
It's euthanasia. Euthanasia.

We're all
better off.

Oh, God...
Oh, God.

He's better off.
He's in a better place.

I swear to God.
He's in a better place.

[SNIFFLING]

There's no reason
to cry.

He didn't suffer.
He went right out.

I just--I didn't even
hear him make a sound.

I did.

It was kind of
like a--

[GAGGING]

Stop that!

Okay, let's go through
the plan again.

Get on the train.

Get on the train.

Two miles past
Windsor Heights station,

-you jump off.
-2.1 miles!

2.1 miles past
the Windsor Heights station.

Take this key.

Right.

Open car 12.
Jump out.

You'll be there
with the car.

I'll flash the lights twice
if everything's okay.

Check.

What check?

Check, check.
It means "yes."

All aboard!

Everything's going to be
just fine.

Big kiss, darling.

And your bag.

Do you need
some help?

Whoa!

Upsy-daisy.

Thank you.

He won't take help
from anyone.

That's just
the kind of man he is.

Come on,
get on the train.

Everything all right,
darling?

Yes.

Now, have a wonderful time
at that Army reunion,

and give my best
to all the old Army buddies.

It's a beautiful night,
isn't it?

Rickey. Steve Rickey.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

What's the matter?
Forget something?

[IMITATING STEVE]:
Valium.

My pills.

Oh, your pills.
Where are they?

Three cars back.

Oh, it's
back there?

Yeah.

Oh, certainly.

I'll get it for you.
You stay here.

I don't mind
helping out at all.

All right.

Three cars back?

Third seat on the right.

You know, you have

an interesting way
of talking.

You sound kind of
like an engine.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'll go get
that pill case.

I always feel sorry
for a guy on sticks.

I'm happy to do it.
I'll get your pills.

Oh, yeah.
Thank you very much.

Okay, three cars back.

[YELLING]

Blanche? Blanche?

[WOLVES HOWLING]

[CAR HORN HONKING]

Who is it?

Blanche?

Blanche, is that you?

Of course it's me.

Are you alone?

No. No,
I'm not alone!

I've got a dead body
with me, Leonard. Honestly.

Blanche?

Oh, God, it was terrible.

The man on the train
wouldn't leave me alone.

What are you doing?

Wouldn't stop talking.

Wouldn't leave me alone.
Almost drove me crazy.

I couldn't
get away from him.

Damn it, Steve.

Look at what you
made me do to you!

Let's go.

Wait a minute.

No, you can't
leave him here.

You do it. I can't.
I've done enough.

I jumped off about
200 yards down--

it's the wrong place,

and you can't leave him
with a blanket on him!

Leonard, hurry up.

Wait, I said. Jesus Christ!

Can't leave the blanket
on him.

Nobody jumps off trains
with blankets on them.

Why didn't you just roll him
in the damn thing?

There's a million safety pins.

[HORN HONKING]

All right, I'm coming!
Goddamn it.

Okay.

[LEONARD GASPING]

Okay, okay, okay.

You're going to Yale.

It's good, it's good.

TV ANNOUNCER:
...Resting in the weeds nearby,

clothes battered and dusty.

He asked for his Valium
and then death.

Losing his balance,
the police think,

and tumbling from the train.

Steve Rickey...

-Leonard?
-Shh...

"A nice fella," George Noozel,
a passing stranger, calls him.

A man of few words.

Tonight...

-Leonard?
-I've got to hear this!

Jesus, Leonard. I'm sorry.

A man whose face
is virtually unrecognizable.

Ripped to shreds,
the police say,

by the force of the fall.

The last person
to see Rickey alive,

a salesman
of decorative poodles,

George Noozel.

Do we have cream soda
in the house?

Nobody has cream soda
in their house.

I'm going to go get
some cream soda.

Leonard,
at 10 past 11:00?

Yeah, I got the urge.

Nothing's open.

7-Eleven.

Leonard,
not dressed like that!

They don't care.

This is crazy!

You're moaning
in the hallway,

now you're running off
half-naked to buy cream soda.

There's someone else!

No, no.
There's nobody else.

What am I doing wrong?

What am I doing wrong,
Leonard?

I'm doing something
for the boys.

In your robe?

Listen to me.
It's complicated.

It's very unusual.

It's extremely unusual,
but I can't talk.

I'm coming in--

I'll be right in a bit.

I'm coming back.

Leonard? Leonard?

Get me something crunchy
to eat!

RECORDING: Hi.
This is Blanche Rickey.

What did you do to his face?

Hi. I'm Steve Rickey.

What did you do to his face?

If you have a message
for either--

Christ, I feel terrible
about this thing.

Oh, no, no.
I'm not blaming you.

It could've happened
to anyone.

How could you know?
Some coincidence, Len.

Two days after
they buy the policy.

Really, I feel terrible
about this.

Yeah, well,
you tell him.

[KNOCKING]

Mr. O'Mara's here
for his appointment.

Yes, yes, send him in.

Well, gentlemen.

Morning.

-Morning.
-Morning, sir.

Come in, come in.
We've been waiting for you.

This is the grieving widow,
Mrs. Blanche Rickey.

Mrs. Rickey,
this is Mr. O'Mara,

head of
our claims division.

Mm.

Ma'am,
my condolences.

[WHIMPERING]

I'd like to introduce
Mrs. Rickey's attorney,

Mr. Lloyd Nagle.

[SPEAKING IN STEVE'S VOICE]:
Gentlemen, my pleasure.

One of these mornings

that makes you feel glad
to be alive.

[LEONARD CLEARING THROAT]

You all right,
Hoffman?

Your wife's cooking, eh?

Mr. Nagle,
why don't you join us?

Get things underway.

Fabulous coffee.
That real Colombian flavor.

Yes, really starts
the day off right.

As an attorney,
that's extremely important.

I'm sure it is.

Mr. Nagle, Mr. O'Mara,
Mr. Hoffman.

My pleasure, gentlemen.

I only wish the circumstances
were more pleasant.

No, stay there,
Mr. Nagle.

We'll join you.

Mrs. Rickey,

we're going
to join Mr. Nagle,

your attorney.

Are you all right?

Is there anything
I can get for you?

BLANCHE: I'm fine.

So ironic, isn't it,
Mr. Hoffman?

Just a couple of days ago
we were all together,

laughing, alive.

Well, it's been
a very disturbing time

for all of us.

One thing
I am grateful for,

they were able
to restore Steve's face

just like new.

Pretty ripped up,
the cops said.

STEVE: It wasn't nice.

We viewed the remains
last night.

He looked like
linguine with red clam sauce.

I just looked at him
and said...

Be ye, my bonnie, bonnie lad.

STEVE:
Be ye my bonnie, bonnie lad

When the heather is yorn

And the calves go free
to Loch Lomond

Oh.

And be ye,
my bonnie, bonnie lad

When the lard
goes twinkle, twinkle

We to purse

Sometime in late August

It's Robert Burns.

Mr. Rickey's favorite poet
in Tiparillo.

Yes, yes, yes.

WINSLOW:
Mrs. Rickey, we understand

the unfortunate circumstances
that bring us together today,

but due to the bizarre
and grotesque nature

of your husband's death, we--

we must ask you
a few questions.

Of course.

Mr. O'Mara, would you, uh?

[CLEARING THROAT]

Mrs. Rickey, I know this has
been a pretty rough day for you,

so I'll be as brief
as possible.

STEVE: We would
appreciate that.

Thank you.

Mrs. Rickey,

do you have any idea
what the odds are

of someone dying
by falling off a train?

No, I don't.

I've always been so lucky.

What could it be?
Uh, 5-to-1? 10-to-1?

Approximately a billion-to-1.

No kidding? Really?

Ooh, I never knew that.

Uh, Mr. Hoffman,
did you know that?

No.

Do you know the odds are

of someone falling off a train
and dying

48 hours after he takes out

an accident policy
worth five million bucks?

It's off the charts.

Statistically impossible.
Never happened. Never will.

Why don't you say
what you really mean?

You think I killed my husband
for the insurance.

STEVE: Oh,
Mrs. Rickey, no.

What about
Mr. Hoffman?

Maybe he's in on it.
He sold me the policy.

Maybe it's all a conspiracy.

LEONARD: Mrs. Rickey,
I promise you--

How dare you treat me
like some hussy?

Mr. Nagle, please?

Don't let them treat me
like a hussy.

Gentlemen,
Mrs. Rickey's

on the verge
of a nervous collapse.

May I recommend
an intermission?

O'MARA: You're both full of
shit and I'm going to prove it.

Is that language
necessary?

There's a widow
in the room.

O'Mara, O'Mara,
that's enough.

Now, sir,

in the interest of fair play,

I would appreciate
that check for $5 million

as soon as possible.

We won't pay you

till we've completed
our investigation.

Well, that's fair.

That's right. I, uh...

Well, as a matter of fact,

I was going to demand
an investigation

in order to clear
Mrs. Rickey's name.

Thank you.

Has to be an autopsy.
Right, Len?

Yes. In cases like these,
an autopsy is usually required.

Oh, Steve.

Rickey, got to
slice him open.

Right, Len?

I understand.

Well, I'm all for it.

Now what we're going to
have to do

is agree upon a doctor.

Now, Mr. O'Mara, uh...

you have on your list
a Dr. Lopez.

I'll take him.

If it's all right with Len,
it's all right with me.

Mr. Hoffman?

Fine with me.

My God.

Oh...

[SOBBING]

Gentlemen,
she's emotionally overcome.

Thank you very much for
your time and your patience.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

There we go.

I'm sorry.

There you go.
There you are.

Want a bowl
of soup?

Well done, O'Mara.

Break them in two days, sir.

Lunch, Len?

No, I have things
on my desk.

Thank you, Hoffman.
Nice work.

You ought to be
on antibiotics, Len.

[LEONARD BREATHING HEAVILY]

Sweetie, I'll be
in the bathroom.

You were marvelous,
Leonard.

We were all good.

Hey, Len.

I want to know
who was murdered.

Nobody.

Nobody was murdered?

No.

She didn't kill you?

No.

Did she kill anybody?

No, dear.

Did I kill anybody?

No.

Did anybody
kill anybody?

No.

Oh. Oh...oh.

This is the happiest
moment of my life.

Here, get you a towel.

My goodness.

Leonard?

I'm Steve Rickey.
You remember me?

Who's the man
by the railroad tracks?

The man with his face
ripped off?

That was a homeless
individual.

I don't know
his name, Len.

No family ties.

Where did you get him?

From the county morgue.

You stole him
from the county morgue?

Where am I going
to get a body, Len?

What? Did you escape
from a mental institution?

Len, can't seem
to please you.

In order to collect,
you've got to have a body.

Now, I couldn't think of a way
to do it without a body.

If you know a way,
I wish you'd tell me.

Leonard?
You all right?

If you don't do
anything else,

get yourself
some Pepto-Bismol.

[LEONARD RETCHING]

[TOILET FLUSHING]

Blanche just peeked in.
She said hello.

Oh, good. Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Now, Len, now, the idea is
to settle the autopsy.

Well, I'm not going to
be at the autopsy.

Leonard, we're this close
to the money.

You're the broker
on the case.

You going to go like this,
with the wig?

No, Leonard,
that was just...

that was a crazy impulse.

I had to be there
to see peoples' faces.

Look, I'll never
do that again.

We'll get the money.

All good thoughts.

That's already
out there, dear.

Come on. Let's go.

This rental place is going to
murder us if we're late.

They're going to
charge us an extra day.

How much
for the birds?

High. Wildlife is high.
$50 a day.

Ah, that's
not too bad.

Not too bad?

How much was
my Frank Buck suit,

the one with those pants
that stick out?

The safari outfit.
To die.

Steve, you in jodhpurs.

Romantic, huh?

Took my breath away.

I'm keeping the hat.
How much?

A lot. That
and the widow's piece were $75.

Aw, that's not to worry.

Not to worry?

We don't have it.

I'll get it from Len.
He seems like a nice guy.

What about
the big-ticket items?

Like the truck
and the car?

We leave them in the field,
pay later.

I love your attitude.
You're so confident.

What can go wrong?

It's all in the planning,
cookie.

We did our homework,
case closed.

Pick up the money.

Okay. Okay,
anything you say.

What about Leonard?

Oh, Len?

He's like a dog with a bone.

Really? After all that vomiting?

Yeah, must've been something
he ate,

because when he gave it up,
man, he snapped right back.

Happy about the kids?
Ecstatic.

He's a little gun-shy
about the autopsy tonight,

but underneath,
seventh heaven.

Still like to
get it over with.

I'd like to--

Len, come on.

Let's go, let's go.

Well, you know,
you work on a case,

you want to get it
over with.

Yeah, up or down,
up or down.

Hey, wait a minute.
It's not that easy, Len.

Up or down,
up or down.

We just can't pay out

a check for
five million bucks, Len.

You know?
We've got to study this.

I keep asking myself,

a guy falls off a train
going 20 miles an hour...

[CHUCKLING]

how the hell
does he lose his face?

Oh, you know, maybe
he's got a weak face.

Doesn't make any sense.

Well, that's your field
of expertise, not mine.

You really ought to be
on antibiotics, Len.

I never saw anybody
sweat like that.

Swine flu.
Swine flu, John.

That lawyer of hers.
Nagle?

How are you?

What about him?

No record of him

either at the county clerk
or the county bar.

Well, yeah, maybe
he just passed the bar.

Maybe he just
passed the bar.

Maybe he ain't a lawyer.

From the insurance, yes?

Yes, I'm John O'Mara.
This is Len Hoffman.

Very nice.

Hope we're not
intruding.

Oh. No, no, no.
Everything is all ready.

Please.

Great, great.
In there?

To the right.

I love morgues.

In here?

This way.
This way.

Hey, where's Len?

Oh, I thought
he was here.

Let me go.

No, no, I will go.

No, he's sick--

You wait.
We'll be a minute.

Yeah, but he's sick.

Hey, take it easy with him.

Mr. Hoffman?
You must come downstairs.

No, no,
we have a slight problem.

It's all right.

Problem?

The man with no face.
There was a mix-up.

A mix-up?

He was buried this morning,
so we have to improvise.

[LEONARD MOOS]

No, it's nothing
to moo about.

It will be fine,
you'll be fine. Come.

Beautiful weather.

Course,
they say it might rain.

What the hell's
going on?

But then they revised it.
He's fine. He's fine.

Yeah? Sure? Sure?

Yeah, I'm good.

You've got the flu.
You can go home.

I can finish this
if you want, you know.

No, I'm here.
Might as well.

-You sure?
-Yeah.

Down here.
Take it easy, now.

Okay. Through here?

Yes, yes, yes.

This--this is where...

where my little friends
are all asleep.

It's a little joke we make.
They're all dead.

You will find
too cold in here?

No. Fine with me.
Len?

Fine, fine.

You've been
in morgues before?

Aw, sure,
a lot of times.

I like morgues.

Not me, no, not me.

I could show
a short film.

Hey, doc, let's get
the show on the road.

Where is he?

The late Señor Rickey?

Yeah, yeah,
the late.

[SNAPPING FINGERS]

You eat yet, Len?

I had
a little goulash.

Yeah? I love goulash.

Yeah?

That him, doc?

Si, si. The moment
of truth, yes?

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, come on, Len,
let's go.

Now...

[CLEARING THROAT]

I was able to perform

a radical
reconstructive surgery

on Señor Rickey.

How the hell
can you restore

a face that was
completely ripped off?

Ah, that is not easy,
my friend.

It's impossible.

Ah, no, nothing
is impossible

if you believe
with the heart.

Is true, yes,
Señor Hoffman?

I don't know these things.

El corazon.

Hey, doc, cut the shit.
Let's go.

Presenting...

the late Señor Rickey.

Is that him, Len?

That's him,
all right.

Tremendous job, doc,
got to say.

Started with nothing,
huh?

LOPEZ: Oh,
it's tremendous work.

In order to reconstruct
the nose, for example,

I was forced to use
a portion of his penis.

You used part of his pecker?

-Si, si.
-That's amazing.

Oh, yes.

Just don't rub the nose.

Don't rub his nose?

Very good, doc.

Like Pinocchio, huh?
You hear that, Len?

Very funny joke.

Don't rub his nose.

That's a hell of a job, doc.
Hell of a job.

Can't even see the scar.

Careful, don't touch,

because the cosmetic has not
quite finished the process,

you know, it's...

Um, you did an autopsy
this afternoon?

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

And?

The cause of death
is the broken neck.

Broken neck.
Son of a bitch.

Broken neck's a broken neck.

No, no, Len. Broken neck--
you've got to pay for that.

You have to pay,
you have to pay.

I'll tell you
something, doc.

Si?

I have
a different theory.

You don't like
the broken neck?

My theory is, um...

My theory is...
this bastard's still alive.

[STEVE YELLS]

Oh, we lost
this one.

What'd I tell you, Len?
The whole thing was screwy.

Face ripped off.

You're all under arrest,
every one of you.

All right, fellas,
get some tape, tie him up.

We're going to kidnap you.
You're going to come with us.

Len, will you help me
over here?

LOPEZ: Mr. O'Mara,

remember where you are,
please.

Get him out of here.
Where's my clothes?

Get away from me.
Leonard.

Shh, shh, shh.
Shh, shh, shh.

Who's got my pants?

All right,
over here.

Señor Rickey,
here's your pants.

There is no problem.

Leonard,
get in the car.

Leonard!

We just chalk that up
to experience, Leonard.

You can't win
them all, kid.

Get in the car.

Well, we blew it,
doc.

Could've been
the makeup.

What happened?

Oh, nothing to be
alarmed at, sweetie.

Couple loose ends
we've got to pick up.

We're still on track.

What happened?

Does anybody want
air conditioning?

How about you, Len?

Len's not talking.

He's out to lunch,
which is good.

Is this over?

Are we still
getting the money?

Sure, we're going
to get the money.

"Congratulations,"
said the doctor.

"You're the father
of three fine boys,

and they all look
exactly like you."

Who looks like who?

Who looks
like who, Leonard?

Honey, he's not
actually talking.

He's just
reminiscing.

Just let him
enjoy himself.

I think I'd like to go
to the bus station.

You're probably right.

We'll use them
for middle names.

That sounds more...

Things are going
good, sweetie.

I'm not saying
perfect--

I wanted to be
a musician.

The bus station, now.
Leonard, can you hear me?

I understand, sir...

I'm off to San Jose.

I'm Blanche Linoor,
the actress.

Sweetie...

I'll be appearing
in Man of La Mancha

with Dick Cavett.

All right, that's it! That's it.

-What?
-Finished.

Steve...

are you crazy?

What are you doing?

Out, Blanche.

What?

Let's go. Out.

What did I do?

Blanche.

[CAR HORN HONKING]

I don't expect
bouquets, Blanche,

but a little
understanding--

Steve...

we kidnapped
the insurance investigator.

I put a lot of thought
into this scheme,

stayed awake nights.

Rented the birds.

Nagle, the bald guy.

Hey, this is all good stuff.

Sardine liqueur,
wildlife motif.

I'm not saying it wasn't
brilliant, Steve.

I'm just saying
it didn't work.

Didn't work? Why? Just because

we hit one little snag
and lost the body?

Steve, we've kidnapped
the insurance investigator.

Two little snags.

He knows you're alive.
He sees you walking.

He sees you talking.

Honey, listen,

you know,
I can't deal with this,

because you take
the heart out of me.

Everything you say
is negative.

Who can function
in this atmosphere?

I don't think
you're hearing me, Steve.

We are on the verge
of millions,

and you want to take
a bus to San Jose

so you can act
with Dick Cavett.

What verge?
What millions?

Did you see that?

[MUFFLED]: Len!

We almost lost Leonard.

Did you see that?

What, it's my fault?

Well, whose fault is it? Mine?

Yes.

My fault?

I believe so, yes.

My fault?

[LAUGHING]

Everything is my fault.

Inflation is my fault.

Your father's snoring,
that's my fault.

Everything is my fault.

All afflictions--

baldness, heartburn,
that's me, Blanche.

Khomeini?
I'm in back of Khomeini.

Everything. Steve Rickey.

I don't care what
Glenn Gould did, boys.

Strabovich says
that if you dip your fingers

into bowls of hot water,
they get all electric.

I'm writing to my family.

A statement of principles
and a statement of philosophy.

Good.
Do that on the side, Len.

Look, I'm tired.

I've got to take
a break now.

A short break.

He's a brilliant guy,

but sometimes
I just can't get through.

So don't talk
to yourself anymore.

Don't get nervous.

Now, I'd love
to go on with you,

you know, together.

We could go up to Winslow's,

and we'll make
that settlement,

get the money,

and if we don't make it,
we'll both grab him--

grab him by the throat,
turn him upside down,

and we'll kidnap him.

What do you say?

I'm going to bend over.

If you agree, touch my back.

If you don't agree,
don't touch me.

All right.
I'll go in.

I'm going to ask him
for $4 million tonight.

Now, he's going to
offer two.

We'll settle for three.

A million
and a half each.

Is that all right?

Sounds right.

You've got to go for it.

The house is dark.

It's completely
deserted.

There's nobody home.

Let's just
get out of here now.

Perfect. We'll go
rob the place.

-Good idea!
-Right?

They've probably
got dogs.

They're rich.
They've got dogs.

Dogs? What are you
talking, dogs?

Alarm systems.

Dogs love me.

-Alarms? Forget the alarms.
-Don't be an idiot!

Two minutes,
we're in and out.

We're not going to
take anything heavy.

Light stuff
that travels.

You want light stuff,
heavy stuff?

You going to
listen to her or what?

I want to go in
and rob.

We can stay
as long as we want.

Good enthusiasm.
Let's go.

She's an odd person.
She's theatrical...

and she's frightened
for me.

I think I'd miss that
if that wasn't there.

I don't want
to hear about this.

I want to concentrate
on the robbing.

Heart of gold, though.
Heart of gold.

Family's
from New Jersey,

so you know
she's well brought up.

That's it.
There you go.

As long as you do it
with style,

then nothing else
matters.

What do we do now?

Well, now we go around
to different rooms,

you know, and you see
what you like,

and if you like it,
you take it,

and if you don't
like it, don't take it.

Right.

Be discriminating.

Don't take
what you don't like.

Right.

Steve...

Steve.

Come here.
Come here.

That's what I want.

That's a very good choice,
Leonard.

Thank you.

A Michelangelo.

I had a feeling.

That's the pick of the litter,
Leonard.

Thank you very much.

What do we do?
Break the glass?

Jimmy it.

-In here?
-In there.

-Jimmy it.
-Pry that.

Yeah, okay.

Okay.

Wonderful.

Now we take it
and we get out of here.

-Big piece.
-Oh, boy.

But it's
a beautiful piece.

It's a good choice.

Thank you.

Did you see The Agony
and the Ecstasy?

Many years ago.

Charlton Heston?

Not bad.

I must admit,
that was a boring party.

♪♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪

♪♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪

♪♪ Happy birthday,
dear Graham ♪♪

♪♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪

Dear friends,
I am truly surprised.

You know, when we came up
to the house tonight,

it was all dark.

I turned to Millie
and said,

"My God, we must've
lost our power."

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, Fred,
you dirty rat.

You're the one
responsible.

I can tell by
that look in your eye.

Millie,
you look beautiful.

Harriet, you came
all the way down for this.

Thank you, Julie.
Back from the Bahamas.

Look at you all.

Dorothy, thanks
for being here.

No, no. No cake.
Just a big drink.

A double, double.
Thank you.

One for me,
one for my lady.

There we go.

Who's that
over there?

Hoffman?

Hoffman,
what are you doing here?

Why are you walking around
with my Michelangelo?

Yeah...

Oh, this is
a Michelangelo?

Oh, I thought it was.
I mentioned that to Leonard.

Yes, he did.

This is
a beautiful piece.

Get out.
Or I'll call the police.

People must've been
much shorter in those days.

We were actually
on our way out anyway.

Well, we had that business
that we wanted to discuss.

I want you
out of my house.

I'd like to thank you
for sharing your birthday.

Lovely party.

Now. Both of you.
Out. Get out.

Enjoy, everyone.

-We'll talk Monday.
-Right.

Len, you want
to take this?

Nah.

Beautiful home.

If you ever want
to rent it...

I didn't feel
welcome there.

I don't know about you.

18 years
I worked for that man.

18 years.

Len, I didn't
pursue the settlement.

I just didn't think
the timing was right.

He kicks me
out of his house.

I'd kick him
out of my house.

Leonard,
they're snobs.

They're just
not our kind of people.

To hell with him.
If we can't rob his house,

we'll go rob him
in the office.

I just don't want us
to run off like crazy people.

No.

[♪♪]

You'd think they'd
keep the place up, Len.

I'll check the log,

make sure
no one's upstairs.

Davis, out. Leon, out.

Perfect. So far, so good.

You don't want
to sign in.

You're the best.

Okay.
There's a switch under here.

I saw him hit it
when I was in the office.

I notice everything.

Through here?

Of course.

There it is.

Huh?

This is the safe,

the one that I was
telling you about.

Everything we want
is in there.

There's no tumblers.

No, that's right.

This is electronic.

That's right.

Jim pushed a button over here.

Yeah. The guy told him
to press something,

so he pushed it.

Here.

[BEEPING]

[BEEPING]

What are you doing?
The safe is over here.

Why don't we
do this together?

Yeah, let me do it.
I'll do it.

Boy, this is working
like a charm.

Okay, now you can
hold the light.

Let's see, now,
two lights.

Okay.

Okay.

Where there's a will,
there's a way.

Where there's a will,
there's a way.

This is
what I call pleasure.

This is fun.

Now, Leonard,
don't be disappointed

if we get back there,
you know,

and--and--
because, uh, you know,

I just don't want you
to be disappointed.

We'll find
another way.

No, no, nothing worthwhile
ever comes easily.

Hey, you see
The Great Escape?

Steve McQueen?
Boy, those guys work.

Oh, lookie here.

Leonard. Leonard,
you hear how thin that is?

It's going to go easy.

Listen, Leonard. It's like
an eighth of an inch.

Leonard, get the stuff.
This is going to work.

The briquettes?

Yes, Leonard,
everything.

We're going to blow it.
This is going to work.

Hurry up!

-Steve?
-What?

Want to come here
for a minute?

What? What's
the problem?

There's somebody here
and he's looking at me.

Well, ask him
what he wants.

I don't want to.

You ask him
what he wants.

Hey, how you doing?
Bear with me a little minute.

Be right out.

Get out of here.

You're cramping my style.

Hey, what do you say?

Steve, what's happening
out there? Everything all right?

So, what's up?

What's happening out there?
Who is that?

If you're a crook,
we beat you to it.

If you're a cop, no harm done.
Yeah, a little hole in the wall.

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

[CHUCKLING]

Yeah, French? Bonjour.

Oui, si.

[CHUCKLING]

Leonard? Leonard, uh,
you speak French, Len?

What is that, the authorities?
What is it?

[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]

[CHUCKLING]

Italian, huh? No.

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

Un poco. Little bit.

Que?

We don't like
to speak in English.

It's against
what we stand for.

Are we going to get
incarcerated?

Are you in the process
of robbing this place?

Yes, as a matter of fact,
we are.

We are in the process
of blowing it up.

What's getting blown up?

What time is that
going to take place? This--

[MAN SHOUTING IN SPANISH]

What are you
shooting for?

We've got gold in here.
Are you crazy?

Hit him.

On the head, Leonard.
Hit him.

Beautiful.

[SHOUTING IN SPANISH]

Don't understand gold.
They must be very ignorant.

Don't worry.
I'll make a deal.

Hello?
Listen, fellas?

We don't want to
do anything to you.

We want to make
a deal for gold.

Five minutes. This whole place
is going to blow up.

God almighty.

[SHOUTING]

STEVE: Anybody hurt?

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

Why don't
we make a deal?

We've got gold in here.

Capisce gold?

Comprendo gold?

And, you,
I don't speak English.

[BOMB TICKING]

[MUFFLED SPEAKING]

Oh.

You've got to untie me.

We're dealing with one of the
biggest companies in the world.

They have as much money
as an oil company,

and these people can be very
dangerous if you get them angry.

We're not talking about a light
jail sentence for these boys.

We're talking about them being
mm-mm-mm--blown away.

They haven't done any damage.
Everything'll be all right.

Don't let anything
happen to them.

They don't mean any harm.
They're cute.

Hurry.

I promise nothing
is going to happen to them.

Say it again.

Nothing is going
to happen to them.

They'll be all right.
Nothing's going to happen.

They'll be all right.

You said
you promised!

I promise!

They're going to be
all right.

Nothing
will happen to them.

What the hell's going on here?
Frank?

[SIRENS]

Hey, lady?

Hey, lady.

There are terrorists

about to blow
the building there.

What are you doing here?

We know there
are terrorists up there

trying to blow up
the building,

so Mr. Leonard Hoffman,

who works
for United Marine,

Mr. O'Mara,
who's the head of security,

who works directly
with Mr. Winslow,

and Steve Rickey,
my husband,

have just gone up there
to try and stop them.

Would you mind giving me
those names again?

Not at all.

What the hell is this?
What's going on here?

Hey, who are you?

What are you
doing here?

Who are you?

I asked you,
who are you?

Who are you?

You don't ask me who I am.

Who are you
and what are you doing here?

Who are you?

Who are you
and what are you doing here?

Who are you?

Who the fuck are you?
Tell me now.

Don't fuck me, fuck you.

You tell me who you are,
and you tell me right now.

I'm with security.
Who are you?

This is who I am--

All right,
take it easy.

Take it easy.

I've got dynamite here.
That's dynamite.

Damn gun jammed.

Help! Help!

Help!

I shoot you.
I shoot you.

I can shoot.
I'll shoot you.

I'd better go out there
and see what's going on.

You're not going.

I've got to go
see what's happening!

You don't know
what you're doing.

What's going on, John?

Oh...

[LEONARD WHIMPERING]

Drop it!

[KNIFE DROPPING]

Oh, the wires.

I've got to get
my building back.

This is my home.

I've worked here for 20 years.

It's too late!

In 25 seconds, the whole place
is going to blow up.

The whole place.

Everybody I know
has worked here.

You bastards, this is
the executive bathroom!

It's in here, guys.

The timing device is here.
I got it. I got it.

I got it.

Oh, God.
Oh, God, it's still ticking.

Get back.
Get back, Steve.

God damn, it's ticking.
It's ticking.

Len?

It's ticking.
It's ticking!

We're not
in the clear yet, guys.

It's ticking, guys. Look out!
Run for your lives!

Help me break it.
Help me break it.

Get him up.

I got it.
Nothing to fear now.

Thank God for you police.
You really saved our lives.

What are you
talking about?

I'm a civilian.

Look, I'm not looking
for any glory here,

but I rounded up, single-handed,
about 10 guys with a weapon.

No, I'm just going to stay...
I'm just going to stay here.

You don't know
what the hell's going on here.

He's Len Hoffman.
He saved the whole thing.

Yeah, he's
a little panicky now.

What do you think you're...

You think he needs
some medical treatment?

Well, I can understand.
What he went through.

Unbelievable.

I said, do you think

he might need
some medical treatment?

No, we'll take care of him.
He'll be fine.

Yeah, sure.

I'm just going to sit down.

What is your name, sir?

You don't know how close
we all came, fellas. Oh.

The terrorists here
in the building

came all the way down,
followed--

Your name. Your name, sir.

-Huh?
-Your name?

I'm Steve.

Steve?

Just plain Steve?

Steve Rickey. Nice to see you.

Oh, right, Rickey, Rickey.
Right.

The blonde lady downstairs
told us about you.

-These guys are clear.
-Blanche?

Yeah. She's okay.
Everything's okay.

You don't know
how close we all came.

Well, we'll read about it
in the paper.

Okay,
these are all terrorists.

Okay, let us through,
let us through.

Oh, my God.

You shouldn't be here,
sir. Still very dangerous.

We're not sure
of anything yet.

I know who did this.

Yeah, we have them
around the corner, sir.

They're still
up against the wall.

I hope you throw
the book at these people.

You know them?

Yes, I know these people.

You do know
these people?

I think so, yes.

Okay, let's take a look.

Get out of the way.
Coming through.

How dangerous
are these people?

A bunch of bums.
Good job, men.

Okay, turn them around.

Hey, turn around.

Okay, Winslow.

You want to look
at these people?

Oh, my God.
Is that them?

I don't know them.

My God, chief, thank you.
Thank you.

You saved the company.
Literally saved the company.

We didn't do nothing.

It was all over
when we got here,

but your security man,
Mr. O'Mara, saved the day here.

-O'Mara?
-That's right.

Who the hell
is O'Mara?

Where is he?

He's in charge
of security.

Right this way, sir.
I'll show you.

Are you all right?
You had a full night.

Soon you'll be
in a nice bed.

Here's Mr. O'Mara, sir.

O'Mara...

I just don't know
how to thank you.

Don't thank me, sir.
Thank him.

He did it.

I think we're all
entitled to a reward.

Leonard?

Hoffman.

I'll do anything.

WINSLOW: Ladies and gentlemen,

would you kindly join us
at the seats, please?

The concert is about to begin.

I'm very happy to be a part
of this little send-off

for Len Hoffman's boys.

Tomorrow, they'll be on a plane
for New Haven, Connecticut,

and four years of Yale.

You know, I've always felt,

in America,
that cream rises to the top,

whether it's already the top,
in the case of my own family,

or from our great middle class,
as represented by Len Hoffman.

This guy
will say anything.

These fine boys prove

that hard work, determination,
and integrity

always reap rewards,

so, boys...

if music be
the food of love...

play on.

Hard work.

[PLAYING MOZART'S
"EINE KLEINE NACHTMUSIK"]

Sometimes things--
Sweetheart?

Sometimes things
just work out right.

Leonard,
may I ask you something?

Not now.

Do you regret
meeting me?

Leonard, what I'm really
asking you, Leonard,

are we going to be together
after the concert?

Please, please,

let me just hear
what's going on.

Leonard, are we
going to go on

and do something together,

or are you
going back to her?

Steve, just the way
things have been,

right along,

things are going to
stay the way they are.

I look back on this week

as a psychotic episode
in my life.

Shh!

Psychotic episode?

Psychotic episode.

Steve, I'm envious
of the boys.

That should be me
up there.

Was this
a psychotic episode?

I mean, I can understand

that you enjoy sending
the boys to college,

but how long
can that enjoyment last?

I mean,
what about tomorrow?

We're going to New York.

I've got an idea
for a Broadway show.

We're going to use the boys
playing Mozart.

If you please,
we're trying to listen.

No, see,
this is what we do.

We go to Graham,
we get more money,

then we'll open
five or six shows.

I'm not going to
tell you again.

Oh, Steve,
it's wonderful.

Broadway.

Broadway!

No problem,
no problem.

All right,
everybody down.

Down, sweetheart.
Down.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Keep playing, fellas.

That's it.
Sit down. Sorry.

You sit down.
You just sit down.

You too.
Sit down.

Evidence of this day.

No problem.
Leonard's back.

Shh...

Evidence.
Evidence.

Shut up.

[PLAYING MOZART'S
"EINE KLEINE NACHTMUSIK"]

I understand.
I understand, Len.

I understand.

Len's back.
Leonard's back.

This is a hell of a party.