All language subtitles for Ali3 127

May I go out now, Miss Simpson?

Has it stopped snowing?

Not quite.

If it has stopped
when your sister returns,
perhaps she will take you out.

Oh, dear.

Here, kitty.

Suppose it never stops?

Suppose the man
in charge of the snow
has forgotten how to stop it?

Don't you think you had better
work a while at your sampler?

No, thank you.

Oh, dear.

Hello, Sir Turtle.

You really must stop that,
Your Majesty.

Stop it, I say!

Stop what?

The white queen
just knocked over
the white king.

She never does look
where she's going.

Alice, you know
you are not supposed to play
with your father's chessmen.

But I wasn't playing.

She deliberately bumped
into His Majesty and
knocked him off his feet.

Alice, are you sure
that that is true?

Well, I saw it.
Alice.

Yes, Miss Simpson.

At any rate, Your Majesty,

stop bumping into your husband,
and you might tidy up a bit.

A white rabbit.

All dressed up
in a muffler and overcoat
and big woolly shoes.

There, it's gone into
its nice, warm rabbit hole.

It looked so funny
all dressed up.

Alice, I am sure
you know that there
is no such thing...

as a rabbit dressed up
in a muffler
and an overcoat.

You must not say
what is not true.

Well, it...
It wasn't untrue exactly.

I think you had better
finish your tea.

There is another egg
for you to eat.

Oh, I did eat both eggs,
but I put one of them
all back together again.

Alice!

Yes, Miss Simpson?

The looking-glass room.

You see, Dinah,
as soon as I hold you up,

the little girl
in the looking-glass room...

holds up another cat
just like you.

Oh, Dinah,
wouldn't you like to see what
the looking-glass house is like?

You know, Dinah,
there is a looking-glass house.

First there's the room
you can see through the glass.

That's just the same
as our sitting room,

only the things
go the other way.

You'd love living there.

But of course, I don't know
whether looking-glass milk
is good to drink.

Well, anyway,
then we would come
to the hallway.

It is very like our own hallway
as far as you can see.

Only it may be
quite different beyond that.

Oh, Dinah,

wouldn't it be nice
if we could get through to...

I can see all
of the looking-glass room
from here,

all but a bit.

I would so like
to see that little bit
just behind the fireplace.

Do you think, Dinah,
that if I pressed
very, very hard...

and tried to look straight down,
that I might...

Why... Why...

Well, I knew this part
of the room would be different.

But I do wish
the looking-glass chair
had moved when I moved ours.

There seems no other way.

If I could only fall
like that all the time.

"Aideapolcycne Acinnatirb."

Can't be English.

Of course.
It's the looking-glass room.

Why, it's Uncle and Aunt!

I knew that if you could
really get behind a picture,
you'd see the backs of people.

Poor Uncle Gilbert.
His trousers are all patched.

My dear niece,
how would you like being framed
in one pair of trousers...

for 20 years
without being patched?

It must be very difficult.
It is.

But after all, it's only
the front of the picture
that counts really.

Of course.

That is all.

Bong, bong, bong, bong.
8:00.

What did you say?
Bong, bong, bong, bong.
8:00.

But your hands say
20 minutes to 4:00.

I never let my left hand know
what my right hand is doing.

This side
of the looking-glass
has me all confused.

That's because everything
is backward on your side.

Why, I never...

Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!

What's that?
It's the voice of my child!

- Your child!
- Oh!

Mama!

Oh, my precious lily!
My imperial kitten!

Oh. I must be
with my child!

Let me help you.

Mama!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!
Mama! Ma...

Dear me.
Mama!

There, there,
my royal pawn.

Oh, poor thing.

Oh!

Watch out for the volcano!

It blew me up!
Be sure you come up
the regular way.

Don't get blown up.

Oh.

You'll be hours and hours
getting to the table
at that rate.

I'd far better help you.

No. No!

The king's men!
Somebody call out
the king's men!

I assure you, my dear,
I shall never, never forget
the horror of this moment.

Well, you will forget
unless you make
a memorandum of it.

I shall be very happy
to remind you.

We will not be reminded
by a volcano.

I'm not a volcano,
and I'm not a cyclone either.

Then you're either
a cyclano or a volcone.

Bong, bong, bong, bong,
bong, bong, bong, bong,

bong, bong and bong.

Well, what time was that?

I really haven't any idea,
but it's very late.

Oh! I must hurry,
or I shall have to go back
through the looking-glass...

before I've seen
what the rest
of the house is like.

My! What a strange way
to walk about the garden.

The duchess! The duchess!
Oh, won't she be savage
if I've kept her waiting!

Oh, dear! Oh, dear!
I shall be too late!

Oh, my ears and whiskers!
How late it is getting!

Well, after
such a fall as this,

I shall think nothing
of tumbling down stairs.

♪♪

I wish Dinah were here.
That's such pretty music.

Oh, dear.

Ouch!

Ooh!

Good-bye, dear feet.

Oh!

How will I ever get
to the beautiful garden?

Oh!

Mouse!

Do you know the way
out of this pool,
mouse?

I'm very tired
of swimming about here.

Perhaps you don't
understand English.

I daresay
you're a French mouse.

O est ma chatte?
That's French for
"Where is my cat?"

I beg your pardon.

I quite forgot
you didn't like cats.

Wait, mouse!

Mouse!

Not like cats?

Would you like cats
if you were me?

Don't be angry.

I wish I could show you
our cat Dinah.

You'd take quite
a fancy to her.

She's such a dear quiet thing
and so good at catching mice.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

I hate you!
I hate cats!

My whole family hates cats.
Nasty, low, vulgar things!

Oh, dear!

Wait, mouse!

Cats!

Cats!

William the Conqueror,
whose cause was favored
by the pope,

was soon submitted to
by the English,
who wanted leaders...

and had been of late
much accustomed
to usurpation and conquest.

Who are you, please?

I am a dodo.

How do you do?
My name is Alice.

And you are very wet.

I'm afraid I am,
but there isn't much
I can do about getting dry.

History is the driest thing
I know.

Shall we dry you with history?

I'd be much obliged
if you could.

Listen well.

Edwin and Morcar,
the earls of Mercia
and Northumbria,

found it advisable to go
with Edgar Atheling...

to meet William
and offer him the crown.

William's conduct at first
was moderate,

but the insolence
of his Normans...

How are you
getting on, my dear?

Beautifully, thank you.

Shall I put you
to sleep now?

No, thank you!

Then you'd best
run along.

I'm about to recite
some dates.

Yes, sir.
Thank you.

Good-bye.

1585, Shakespeare was born.
1616, Shakespeare died.

Who are you?

I hardly know, sir,
just at present.

At least, I know who I was
when I got up this morning,

but I must have changed
several times since then.

What do you mean by that?
Explain yourself.

I can't explain myself
because I'm not myself,
you see.

I don't see!

I can't put it more clearly,

for I can't
understand it myself
to begin with,

and being so many
different sizes
in one day is confusing.

It isn't.

Well, when some day you
turn into a chrysalis...

and after that
into a butterfly,

you'll find it
a bit queer, won't you?
Not a bit.

Well, maybe you wouldn't,
but it would certainly
feel very queer to me.

You? Who are you?

I think you ought to tell me
who you are first.
Why?

Good day, sir.
Come back. I have something
important to say.

Yes?
Keep your temper.

Is that all?
No.

So you think you've changed,
do you?

I'm afraid I have, sir.

What size do you want to be?

I should like to be
a little larger, sir,
if you wouldn't mind.

Three inches is such
a horrid height to be.

I am three inches high!

It's a very good height to be.

I'm sure it must be,
sir, but, you see,
I'm not used to it.

You'll get used to it
in time.

One side will make you
grow taller.

The other side will
make you grow shorter.

One side of...
Of what?

The mushroom.

Which side will make me
grow larger?

The large-making side,
of course.

I'll take a little
of both to make sure.

Oh, dear.
Now I'm too big again,
caterpillar.

Mr. Caterpillar, sir,
where are you?

Whoever lives here,
it would never do
to come upon them this size.

Why, I should frighten them
out of their wits.

For the d-d-d-duchess.

An invitation from the queen
to play croquet.

My compliments to the queen.

My compliments
to the d-d-d-d-duchess.

There's no sort of use
in your knocking.

Please, sir,
how am I to get in?

I shall sit here
till tomorrow.

I'm sorry you were hit,
but how am I to get in?

I shall sit here
for days and days.

But what am I to do?

Anything you like.

Please watch out
for the baby!

She nearly killed
the poor little thing.

If everybody minded
their own business,

the world would go round
much faster than it does.

♪ Speak roughly
to your little boy ♪

♪ And beat him
when he sneezes ♪

♪ He only does it to annoy ♪

♪ Because he knows it teases ♪

♪ Wow! Wow! Wow! ♪

- Wow!
- Wow!
- Wow!

♪ He only does it to annoy ♪

♪ Because he knows it teases ♪♪

Here, you can nurse it
a bit, if you like.

Now I must go and get ready
to play croquet with the queen.

Don't grunt.

That's not at all
a proper way
of expressing yourself.

What am I going to do
with this creature
when I get it home?

If you're going to turn
into a pig, my dear,

I'll have nothing
more to do with you.
Mind now!

There's no mistake
about you now.

You're a pig!

Oh!

You would have grown up
to be a dreadfully ugly child,

but you do make
a handsome pig, I think.

Meow!

Why do you grin,
cat?

Because I'm a Cheshire cat.
That's why.

Well, then, Cheshire puss,
would you tell me, please,

which way I ought
to go from here?

That depends a good deal
on where you want to get to.

I don't care much where.

Then it doesn't matter
which way you go.

So long as I get somewhere.

Oh, you're sure to do that
if you only walk long enough.

Do you play croquet
with the queen today?

I should like it
very much,

but I haven't been
invited yet.

You'll see me there.

Must you go so soon?

By the by,
what became of the baby?

Hmm. I'd nearly
forgotten to ask.

It turned into a pig.

I thought it would.

Did you say "pig" or "fig"?

I said "pig," and I wish you
wouldn't keep appearing
and vanishing so suddenly.

You make one quite giddy.

All right.

Don't you wish
you could do this?

Well, I've often seen
a cat without a grin,

but a grin
without a cat...

No room! No room!
No room! No room!

No room! No room!
No room!

There's plenty of room.

Have some wine?

I don't see any wine.

Ha! There isn't any.

It wasn't very civil
of you to offer it.

Your hair
needs cutting.

You should not
make personal remarks.
It's very rude.

Why is a raven
like a writing desk?

I believe
I can answer that.

Do you mean you can find
the answer to it?
Exactly so.

You should say
what you mean.

- What day of the month is it?
- Fourth.

Ah! Two days wrong.

I told you all butter
wouldn't suit the works.
Oh!

Some crumbs must have
got in it as well.

Mm-hmm.
I put it in
with a bread knife.

It was the best butter,
you know.

What a funny watch.

It tells the days of the month
but doesn't tell
what o'clock it is.

- Have you guessed
the riddle yet?
- Why... Why, no. I give it up.

- What is the answer?
- I haven't the slightest idea.

Nor I.

I think you might
do something better
with time...

than wasting it
asking a lot of riddles
that have no answers.

Don't you speak about Time.

I daresay you've never even
spoken to him.
Perhaps not.

Time and I quarreled last March,
just before he went mad,
you know.

It was at a great concert
given by the Queen of Hearts,

and I had to sing,
"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat,
how I wonder what you're at."

You know the song, perhaps?
I've heard
something like it.

It goes on, you know, like this.

♪ Twinkle, twinkle,
little bat ♪

♪ How I wonder
what you're at ♪

♪ Up above
the world you fly ♪

♪ Like a tea tray
in the sky ♪

♪ Up above
the world you fly ♪

♪ Like a tea tray
in the sky ♪

♪ Twinkle, twinkle,
twinkle, twink... ♪

♪ Twinkle, twinkle,
little bat ♪

♪ How I wonder
what you're at ♪

♪ Up above
the world you fly ♪

♪ Like a tea tray
in the sky ♪

♪ Up above
the world you fly ♪

♪ Like a tea tray
in the sky ♪

♪ Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle,
twinkle, twinkle, twinkle ♪

♪ Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle,
twinkle, twinkle, twinkle ♪♪

Well, I'd hardly
finished the first verse
when the queen bawled,

"He's murdering the time.
Off with his head!"

And ever since that,
he won't do a thing I ask.

It's always 6:00 now.

Oh, is that why
all the tea things
are out here?

Yes, that's it.
It's always tea time,

and we have no time
to wash the tea things
in between.

Take some more tea.

I haven't had any yet,
so I can't take more.

You mean you can't take less.
It is very easy to take more
than nothing.

I want a clean cup.

It's the stupidest tea party
I ever was at in all my life.

Very curious!

Would you please tell me why
are you painting those roses?

Uh...

Well, as a matter
of fact, miss,

this tree should have
been a red rose tree,

and we put in
a white one by mistake.

And if the queen should
find out, we'll all have
our heads cut off.

So you see, miss, we're doing
our best, before she
comes back, to paint...

♪♪ The queen!
The queen!

♪♪ The queen!

Come, come.
Get up!

Her Majesty,
the Queen of Hearts.

♪♪

Her Majesty the Queen!

♪♪

Off with his head!

♪♪ Off with his head!

What is your name, child?

My name is Alice,
so please Your Majesty.

Off with her head!
Off with her head!

Nonsense!

Off with her head!

Off with her head!
Oh, con-consider,
my dear.

She's only a child.
Off with her head!

Off with her head!

And besides, this is
the executioners'
day off.

Oh, it is, is it?

Well, they shall lose
their heads for this!

Can you play croquet?
Yes.

Then let the game
begin at once.

Hurry! Hurry!
Hurry! Hurry!

Must I behead you all?

Here, take it! Play!

Off with some heads!

You're pointing the wrong way
for a mallet.

Pardon me.
My back hurts.

Well.

Don't look at me.
I'm as mixed-up
as you are.

This game's slowing up.

Off with some heads!
Where are my victims?

Search the hedges!

Thrash the bushes!

Shake the trees!

How glad I am
to see you again,

you dear old thing.

How did you like
your game?

Well, it was very exciting.

Of course it is.

And the moral
of that is,

be what you would
like to be.

Or to put it
more simply,

never imagine yourself
not to be otherwise...

than what it might
appear to others...

that what you were
or might have been...

wasn't otherwise than
what you had been...

would have
appeared to them
to be otherwise.

I should understand that better
if it were written down.

I can't quite follow it
as you say it.

That's nothing to what
I could say if I chose.

And the moral
of that is... Oh!

It's a...
It's a fine day,
Your Majesty.

I give you fair warning.

Either you or your head
must be off at once!

Please, Your Majesty,
could you make it go away?

Queen? Queen?
Where are you, Queen?

What fun!

What is the fun?
The queen.

They never really execute
anybody she condemns,
you know.

The king...

The king pardons everybody.

I'm very happy
to know that,
I'm sure.

Have you seen
the mock turtle yet?

Why... Why, no.

I don't even know
what a mock turtle is.

It's what mock turtle soup's
made from.

Oh! Come here, will you,
Mock Turtle, old thing.

What is his sorrow?

It's all his fancy.

He hasn't got no sorrow.

No sorrow, indeed.

Mine are the sorrows
of a sorrowful sorrow.

Mine are the woes
of a woeful woe.

Mine are the...
This here young lady,

she wants for to know
your history, she do.

I'll tell it her.

Sit down,
both of you.

And don't speak a word
till I've finished.

Once, I was
a real turtle.

Oh, dear!

Oh, dear.

When we were little,
we went to school
in the sea.

The master
was an old turtle.

We used to call him Tortoise.

Why did you
call him Tortoise
if he wasn't one?

We called him Tortoise
because he taught us.

You ought to be ashamed
of yourself for asking
such a simple question.

We went to school
in the sea,

though you
mayn't believe it.

I never said I didn't.

- You did.
- Hold your tongue.

We had the best
of educations.

In fact, we went
to school every day.

I've been
to a day school too.

We learned French
and music.

I only took
the regular course.

What was that?

Reeling and writhing,
to begin with.

And then the different
branches of arithmetic...

Ambition, distraction,

uglification
and derision.

And how many hours a day
did you do lessons?

Ten hours the first day...

and nine the next,
and so on.

That's why
they're called lessons...

Because they lessen
from day to day.

Then the 11th day
must have been
a holiday.

Of course.

And how did you manage
on the 12th day?

- Oh, well.
- That's enough about lessons.

Shall we play games,

or shall the mock turtle sing?

Oh, a song please,
if the mock turtle
would be so kind.

Hmm. No accounting for tastes.

Sing her "Turtle Soup,"
will you, old fellow?

In a moment.

♪ Beautiful soup ♪

♪ Who cares for fish ♪

♪ Game or any other dish? ♪

♪ Who would not give
all else for two... ♪

♪ Pennyworth's only
of beautiful soup? ♪

♪ Beautiful soup
Beautiful soup ♪

♪ Soup of the evening ♪

♪ Beautiful soup ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Beau... ♪♪

Faster! Faster!

Faster! Faster!
Faster!

Much faster!

Are we nearly there?
Nearly there?

Why, we passed it
10 minutes ago.

Faster!

It's all marked out
like a chessboard.

Of course it's a chessboard.

And life is a chessboard,

and you are a queen's pawn.

You will go immediately
to the fourth square,

which you should reach
in exactly no time.

Did you remark something?

I didn't know I had
to make one just then.

You should have told me
how kind it is of me
to tell you all this.

No questions?

Very well then.
No answers.

Open your mouth wide
when you speak...

and always speak
in French...

if you can't think
of the English
for something.

Turn out your toes
as you walk...

and always say Your Majesty,
and so forth.

If you think we're waxworks,
you ought to pay, you know.

Waxworks weren't made to be
looked at for nothin' nohow.

Contrariwise, if you
think we're alive,
you ought to speak.

I'm sure I'm very sorry.

I was wondering
which is the best way
out of this wood.

Would you tell me,
please?

You've begun wrong.

The first thing in a visit
is to say "How do you do?"...

and shake hands.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

I hope you're not much tired.

Why, nohow, but thank you
very much for asking.

So much obliged.
You like poetry?

- Yes, pretty well.
- Some poetry.

But would you
tell me first...

which road leads
out of the wood?

♪♪ What shall I
repeat to her?

"The Walrus
and the Carpenter"
is the longest.

"The sun was shining on the sea,
shining with all his might."

He did his very best to make
the billows smooth and bright.

And this was odd because it was
the middle of the night.

The walrus and the carpenter
were walking close at hand.

They wept like anything to see
such quantities of sand.

'If this were only
cleared away, '
they said, 'it would be grand.'

'If seven maids with seven mops
swept it for half a year,

do you suppose, '
the walrus said,
'that they could get it clear?'

'I doubt it, '
said the carpenter
and shed a bitter tear.

'O oyster,
come and walk with us, '
the walrus did beseech.

'A pleasant walk,
a pleasant talk
along the briny beach.'

They could not do
with more than four
to give a hand to each.

The eldest oyster looked at him,
but never a word he said.

The eldest oyster winked his eye
and shook his heavy head.

Meaning to say,
he did not choose
to leave the oyster bed.

But younger oysters hurried up,
all eager for the treat.

Their coats were brushed,
their faces washed.

Their shoes were clean and neat.

"And this was odd
because, you know,
they hadn't any feet."

♪♪

"'The time has come, '
the walrus said,
'to talk of many things."

Of shoes and ships
and sealing wax,
of cabbages and kings.

And why the sea is boiling hot
and whether pigs have wings.'

'A loaf of bread, '
the walrus said,
'is what we chiefly need.

Pepper and vinegar besides
are very good indeed.

Now, if you're ready,
oysters dear,
we can begin to feed.'

'But not on us!'
the oysters cried,
turning a little blue.

'After such kindness,
that would be
a dismal thing to do.'

'The night is fine, '
the walrus said.
'Do you admire the view?'

'I weep for you, '
the walrus said.
'I deeply sympathize.'

With sobs and tears,
he sorted out
those of the largest size,

holding his pocket handkerchief
before his streaming eyes.

'O oysters, '
said the carpenter,
'you've had a pleasant run.

Shall we be
trotting home again?'
But answer came there none.

"And this was scarcely odd,
because they'd eaten every one."

Well, they were both
very unpleasant
characters.

But at any rate,
I'd better be
leaving the wood,

because it's really
getting very dark.

Well, good-bye.

Look!

Do you see that?

It's only a rattle.

Oh!

Only an old rattle.
Quite old and broken.

I knew it was.

It's spoiled,
of course.

My nice new rattle!

Of course, you agree
to have a battle?

I suppose so.

Only she must help us
to dress up, you know.

Of course.

"Tweedledee and Tweedledum
agreed to have a battle,"

for Tweedledee said Tweedledum
had spoiled his nice new rattle.

Just then, down flew
a monstrous crow
as black as a tar barrel,

"which frightened
both the heroes so, they
quite forgot their quarrel."

I hope you're good
at pinning and tying
string.

All this has
got to go on
somehow or other.

This is to keep my head
from being cut off.

One of the most serious things
that can happen to one
in a battle...

is to get one's head cut off.

Do I look very pale?

Well, yes, a little.

I'm-I'm very brave
generally.

Only today I happen
to have a headache.

Well, I've got a toothache.

I'm far worse than you.

Then you'd both
better not fight today.

Oh, we must have
a bit of a fight.

Let's fight till 6:00
and then have dinner.

There's only one sword,
but you can have
the umbrella.

It's sharper.

Only we must begin quick.
It's getting very, very dark.

And darker and darker.

What a thick,
black cloud that is,

and how fast it comes.

Why, I do believe
it's got wings.

It's the crow! Oh!
It's the crow!

May I put your shawl
straight for you?

I don't know
what's the matter with it.

It's out of temper, I think.

I've pinned it here
and I've pinned it there,

but there's no pleasing it.

It can't go on straight,
you know,

if you put all the pins
on one side.

And, dear me,
what a state
your hair is in.

Oh.

The brush has got...
entangled in it.

And I lost the comb
yesterday.

There, now you look better.

Oh! My finger's
bleeding.

Oh! Oh!

What's the matter?
Have you pricked
your finger?

I haven't pricked it yet,
but I soon shall.

When do you expect to do it?

Well, when I fasten
my shawl again,

the brooch will come undone.

Watch out.
You're holding it all wrong.

Now you understand
the way things happen here.

But why don't you scream now?

Why, I've done all
the screaming already.

Now, what would be the good
of doing it all over again?

I suppose so.

Well, it's a bit lighter now.

I'm glad that crow is gone.

I hope your finger's
better now.

Much better.

Better.

Beh-ter.

Baa-ter.

Baa.

What is it
you want to buy?

I should like
to buy an egg, please.

I never put things
into people's hands.

That would never do.

You must get it
for yourself.

What a strange egg.

It keeps growing much faster
than it should.

Curiouser and curiouser.

It's bigger than a chicken.

Why, it's...
It's Humpty-Dumpty!

Don't stand there staring at me
as if I were an egg.

Tell me your name
and your business.

My name is Alice.

It's a stupid enough name.
What does it mean?

Must a name
mean something?
Of course it must.

My name means
the shape I am,

and a right handsome
shape it is.

With your name,
you might be any shape.

Why do you sit out here
all alone?

Because there's nobody with me.

Did you think
I couldn't answer that?

Ask another.

Don't you think you'd
be safer on the ground?

That wall
is so very narrow.

Of course I don't think so.

Why, if I ever
did fall off,

which there's no chance of...

But if I did...

If I did fall,
the king has promised me...

To send all his horses
and all his men.

Ah, so you know.

All his horses
and all his men.

They'd pick me up again
in a minute, they would.

However, this conversation
is going on a little too fast.

Let's go back
to the last remark but one.

I'm afraid I can't quite
remember it.

In that case,
we start afresh,

and it's my turn
to choose a subject.

How old did you say
you were?

Twelve years
and four months.

Wrong. You never said
a word like it.

I thought you meant,
"How old are you?"

If I'd meant that,
I'd have said that.

Twelve years
and four months.

An uncomfortable sort of age.

Now, my advice would have been
to leave off at 12,

but it's too late now.

What a beautiful belt.

Or is it a beautiful collar?

It is a most provoking thing
when a person doesn't know
a collar from a belt.

I know it's very ignorant of me.

It's a collar, child,
and a beautiful one,
as you say.

It's a present from
the white king and queen.

Is it really?

They gave it to me for
an un-birthday present.

I beg your pardon?

I am not offended,
and it isn't respectable to beg.

I mean, what is
an un-birthday present?

A present given when it isn't
your birthday, of course.

I like birthday presents best.

You don't know what
you're talking about.

How many days
are there in a year?

365.

And how many birthdays
have you?

One.

And if you take that from 365,
what remains?

364, of course.

Well, then there are 364 days
when you might get
un-birthday presents.

Certainly.
And only one
for birthday presents.

That's glory for you.

I don't know what
you mean by "glory."

Of course you don't
till I tell you.

I meant there's a nice
knockdown argument for you.

But "glory"
doesn't mean that.

When I use a word, it means
what I choose it to mean,

neither more or less.

The question is whether
you can make words mean
different things.

The question is,

which is to be the master...
You or the word?

That's all.

However, I can manage
the whole lot.

Impenetrability.
That's what I say.

Would you tell me, please,
what that means?

I meant by "impenetrability"
that we've had enough
of the subject...

and it would be just as well
if you'd mention what
you mean to do next,

as I suppose
you don't mean to stop here
all the rest of your life.

Fancy it meaning
all that.

You seem very clever
at explaining words, sir.

Would you kindly tell me
the meaning of a poem
called "Jabberwocky"?

I read it a long time ago.

I can, but I won't.
That's all.
Good-bye.

Good-bye till we meet again.

I shouldn't know you
if we did meet.

You're so exactly
like other people.

The face is what one
generally goes by.

That's just it.
Your face is the same
as everybody's,

with two eyes, so.

Nose in the middle,
mouth under.

Now, if your two eyes were on
the same side of your nose...

or your mouth on the top,
that would be some help.

It wouldn't look nice.

Wait till you've tried.

Watch out! Oh!

Help! Help!
I'm falling.
Tell the king.

Tell him to bring
his horses and his men.

Help!

Oh. Oh.

What happened?

We ran into each other,
Your Majesty.

Good. I rather fancied
something like that
had happened.

Oh, Your Majesty,
Humpty-Dumpty fell off the wall.

I know, I know.

4,207 of my soldiers
are on the way.

Two without horses.

If all this king's
horses and men...

can't put him
back together again,
nobody can.

I'm glad Humpty
will be all right.
I was worried.

Well, don't be.

Uh, look along the road
and tell me...

if you can see either
of my three messengers.

I see nobody on the road.

Oh, I only wish
I had such eyes...

To be able to see nobody,
and at that distance.

Oh!

Oh.

It's too, too bad.

Can I help you, sir?
On or off?

You are on.

Oh, in a short time,
I shall be off again.

I'm so sorry.

Are you the king's
messenger?

I'm the white knight.

I see you're admiring
my little box.

It's my own invention,

to keep... to keep clothes
and sandwiches in.

You see, I carry it upside down
so-so the rain can't come in.

But the things
can get out.

Do you know
the lid is open?

Then if all the things
have fallen out,

the box is no use
without them.

- Can you guess why I did that?
- I can't imagine.

In hopes some bees
may make a nest in it.

Then I shall get the honey.

But you've got a beehive,
or something like one,
fastened to the saddle.

It's a very good beehive too,
one of the best kind.

But not a single bee
has come near it yet.

That other thing's
a mousetrap.

I suppose the mice
keep the bees out,

or the bees keep the mice out.

I don't know which.

It isn't very likely there would
be any mice on a horse's back.

Not very likely, perhaps,

but I don't choose
to have them
running all about.

You see, I'm well provided
for everything.

That's the reason the horse has
those anklets around his feet.

What are they for?

To guard against
the bites of sharks.

It's my own invention.

But let's go on.

I'll go with you
to the edge of the wood.

I hope you've got your hair
well fastened on.

Only the usual way.
That's hardly enough.

You see, the wind
is so strong here.

As strong as soup.

Have you invented a plan
for keeping the hair
from being blown off?

Not yet.

But I have a plan for keeping
the hair from falling off.

I should like
to hear it very much.

First, you take
an upright stick.

Then you make your hair
creep up it like a vine.

Now, the reason
hair falls off...

is because it hangs down.

Things never fall upward,
you know.

It's my own invention.
You may try it if you like.

I'm a great hand
at inventing things.

Now, I daresay you noticed
the last time you picked me up,

I was looking
rather thoughtful.

You were
a little grave.

Well, just then,
I was inventing a new way
of getting over a gate.

Would you like to hear it?

Very much indeed.

Well, I'll tell you how
I came to think of it.

I said to myself, "The only
difficulty is with the feet."

The head's high enough
already."

Now, first, I put my head
on top of the gate.

Then my head's high enough.

Then I stand on my head.

Then my feet
are high enough.

Then I'm over.

Oh, Sir Knight.

If there were only
a gate down here,

I'd be in excellent position
to cross it.

How can you go on
talking so quietly
with your head in a ditch?

What does it matter
where my body happens to be?

My mind goes on working
all the same.

In fact, I once
invented a new pudding
during the meat course.

In time to have it cooked
for the next course?

Mmm! That was quick work.

Well, not the next course.

In fact, I don't believe
that pudding ever was cooked.

What did you mean it
to be made of?

Well, it began
with blotting paper.

That wouldn't
be very nice,
I'm afraid.

Not very nice alone,

but imagine how good it would be
mixed with other things...

such as gunpowder
and sealing wax.

And here I must leave you.

This is the end of the wood.

You've only a few yards to go...

Down the hill,
across that little brook,

and then you'll be a queen.

At last.

But you'll stay
and see me off first?

I shan't be long.
You'll wait?

Of course I'll wait.

I think it'll encourage me.

Thank you very much for coming
so far out of your way.

For that, I shall expect you
to cry a good deal as I go.

The poor, dear knight.

He's the nicest person yet.

Oh! Ow!

Oh.

Well, here I am.

What's this?

A crown.

A golden crown.

I'm a queen.
I'm a queen!

How dare you say
that you're a queen?

What right have you
to call yourself so?

You can't be a queen,
you know,

till you've passed
the proper examination.

And the sooner
we begin it,
the better.

Be seated.

Yes, Your Majesty.

Oh.

I'm ready, Your Majesties.

Can you do addition?

Now, what's one and one
and one and one and one...

and one and one and one...
and one.

I don't know.
I lost count.

She can't do addition.

Can you answer any
useful questions?

How is bread made?

I know that.
You take some flour...

Where do you pick the flower...
In a garden or in the hedges?

It isn't picked at all.
It's ground.

But how many acres of ground?

I wish you wouldn't
leave out so many things.

Oh, dear.

You know any languages?

What's the French
for "fiddle-de-dee"?

"Fiddle-de-dee's"
not English.

Who ever said it was?

Well, if you'll tell me what
language "fiddle-de-dee" is,

I'll tell you
the French for it.

Queens never
make bargains.

I'm so sleepy.

Oh, she's tired,
poor thing.

So smooth her hair,

lend her
your nightcap...

and sing her
a soothing lullaby.

I haven't any nightcap,

and I don't know
any soothing lullabies.

I'll have to do it
myself.

♪ Hush-a-bye lady
in Alice's lap ♪

♪ When the feast's ready,
we've time for a nap ♪

♪ When the feast's over,
we'll go to the ball ♪

♪ Red queen and white queen
and Alice and all ♪♪

Now that
you know the words,
sing it through to me.

I'm sleepy too.

Now what am I to do?
Do wake up.

♪ To the looking-glass world ♪

♪ It was Alice that said ♪

♪ "I've a scepter in hand ♪

♪ I've a crown on my head ♪

"♪ Let the looking-glass
creatures..." ♪♪

No admittance until
week after next.

Why... Why, how dare you.

♪ Then fill up the glasses
as quick as you can ♪

♪ And sprinkle the table
with buttons and bran ♪

♪ Put cats in the coffee
and mice in the tea ♪

♪ And welcome Queen Alice
with 30 times three ♪

♪ Put cats in the coffee
and mice in the tea ♪

♪ And welcome Queen Alice
with 30 times three ♪

♪ Then put in the glasses
molasses and ink ♪

♪ And anything else
that is pleasant to drink ♪

♪ Mix sand with the cider
and wool with the wine ♪

♪ And welcome Queen Alice
with 90 times nine ♪

♪ Mix sand with the cider
and wool with the wine ♪

♪ And welcome Queen Alice
with 90 times 90 ♪

♪ Times 90 times nine ♪♪

You've missed
the soup and fish.

Serve the roast.

You seem a little shy.

Let me introduce you
to that leg of mutton.

Alice, Leg of Mutton.
Leg of Mutton, Alice.

How d'you do?

May I give you a slice?
Certainly not.

It isn't etiquette
to cut somebody
you've been introduced to.

Remove the roast.
♪ Will you, won't you?
Will you, won't you? ♪

♪ Will you, won't you
join the dance? ♪

♪♪

Please don't introduce
the pudding, or we shall
get no dinner at all.

May I give you some?

Pudding, Alice.
Alice, Pudding.

What impertinence.

How would you like it if I were
to cut a slice out of you,
you creature?

Make a remark.

It's ridiculous to leave
all the conversation
to the pudding.

- Well...
- You'd better prepare.

We're about to drink
to your health.

Queen Alice's health!

- Queen Alice!
- Queen Alice!

- Queen Alice!
- Queen Alice!

Queen Alice!

She ought to
make a speech.
A speech.

So she ought.
A speech.
A speech.

A speech.
A speech.

Speech! Queen Alice!

Queen Alice! Speech!

I rise to return thanks...

- Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
- Take care.

Something's going to happen.
Something's going to happen!

Here I am!

There was
a looking-glass room.

And you were the red queen.

There was a whole
looking-glass country.