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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:00:49,312 --> 00:00:52,384
With this ring be thou consecrated
unto me as my wife.
3
00:00:52,672 --> 00:00:55,140
According to the law of Moses
and faith of Israel.
4
00:00:55,552 --> 00:00:58,066
According to the law of Moses
and faith of Israel.
5
00:00:58,312 --> 00:01:01,145
And you, Judy,
say to Yale these words.
6
00:01:01,392 --> 00:01:02,745
Take the ring.
7
00:01:05,472 --> 00:01:08,464
This ring is a symbol
that you are my husband.
8
00:01:08,712 --> 00:01:10,987
This ring is a symbol
that you are my husband.
9
00:01:11,232 --> 00:01:13,302
And a sign of my love and devotion.
10
00:01:13,552 --> 00:01:15,349
And a sign of my love and devotion.
11
00:01:15,952 --> 00:01:17,829
In the presence of these witnesses...
12
00:01:18,072 --> 00:01:20,267
...you spoke words
and performed the rites...
13
00:01:20,512 --> 00:01:22,548
...which unite your lives.
14
00:01:22,792 --> 00:01:25,181
I therefore declare you,
Yale and Judy...
15
00:01:25,512 --> 00:01:27,582
...husband and wife.
16
00:01:29,032 --> 00:01:30,306
Step on it.
17
00:01:33,152 --> 00:01:34,062
Mazel tov!
18
00:03:21,712 --> 00:03:24,465
But I only have eyes
19
00:03:25,392 --> 00:03:27,303
For you
20
00:03:27,752 --> 00:03:30,346
Judy Goodman
21
00:03:30,992 --> 00:03:31,981
Do you have a date?
22
00:03:32,232 --> 00:03:35,941
No, I told your Uncle Phil
I'd meet him to look at his lease.
23
00:03:36,192 --> 00:03:39,150
- You're not going to work now?
- No, I'm not going to work.
24
00:03:39,392 --> 00:03:42,270
He thinks he's getting evicted.
Let me just talk to him.
25
00:03:42,512 --> 00:03:43,740
Okay?
26
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:47,310
- Thanks for marrying me.
- You're welcome.
27
00:03:48,392 --> 00:03:50,144
Get me a Perrier with a twist?
28
00:03:56,912 --> 00:03:59,551
- Arnie!
- So you did it, huh?
29
00:04:00,832 --> 00:04:03,187
I can't believe you married Goodman...
30
00:04:03,432 --> 00:04:05,229
...when you could've had me.
31
00:04:05,552 --> 00:04:07,782
I could have lived with you, Arnie.
32
00:04:08,072 --> 00:04:09,824
Big difference.
33
00:04:12,392 --> 00:04:13,461
Judy!
34
00:04:14,912 --> 00:04:18,461
Look who I found!
Mr. Waxman, the upholsterer.
35
00:04:18,712 --> 00:04:22,785
I didn't recognize you
without nails in your mouth.
36
00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:27,308
I brought a little something
I think you're going to love.
37
00:04:35,872 --> 00:04:38,909
Mr. Waxman, you finished the ottoman!
38
00:04:39,152 --> 00:04:41,541
Yale will be thrilled.
39
00:04:42,312 --> 00:04:45,145
Wait a minute!
Is this mushroom piping?
40
00:04:45,392 --> 00:04:48,145
Looks beige-y to me, Ma.
This isn't the right color, is it?
41
00:04:48,392 --> 00:04:49,461
Ben...
42
00:04:49,712 --> 00:04:51,509
...what happened to the mushroom?
43
00:04:51,752 --> 00:04:55,188
That's as close as you're going
to get to mushroom in Philadelphia.
44
00:04:55,432 --> 00:04:58,265
Mr. Waxman, we've been
through this a zillion times.
45
00:04:58,512 --> 00:05:01,504
I told you I'm doing Yale's study
in mushroom.
46
00:05:02,472 --> 00:05:05,623
I'm sure you could've found
a yard of mushroom fabric.
47
00:05:06,912 --> 00:05:09,267
You want it, I'll get it.
48
00:05:09,672 --> 00:05:11,742
This is your night!
49
00:05:13,832 --> 00:05:15,060
Wheels?!
50
00:05:15,312 --> 00:05:17,746
Mr. Waxman, I wanted upholstered balls.
51
00:05:19,752 --> 00:05:21,583
Upholstered balls?
52
00:05:32,192 --> 00:05:33,989
- Come on, Peanut.
- Where're we going?
53
00:05:34,232 --> 00:05:36,109
- My feet hurt.
- Your feet will be fine.
54
00:05:36,352 --> 00:05:37,580
I just want to talk to you.
55
00:05:45,832 --> 00:05:48,062
What? Want a divorce already?
56
00:05:48,312 --> 00:05:50,348
Darling, I have a very bad headache.
57
00:05:50,592 --> 00:05:54,585
No wonder, you've danced all night.
I'll get some Tylenol from Mom.
58
00:05:54,872 --> 00:05:55,748
Sweetheart...
59
00:05:55,992 --> 00:05:58,028
...it's not a Tylenol headache.
60
00:05:58,952 --> 00:06:00,590
- Honey!
- Please?
61
00:06:00,872 --> 00:06:03,830
- Honey, not here!
- Please, why not? Come on!
62
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,745
Why? Because everybody
I know is ten feet away.
63
00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:10,064
- They're having a good time. Please?
- No, I'll ruin my dress.
64
00:06:10,312 --> 00:06:13,827
- Your dress is fine. Come on!
- Honey, please? I don't want to.
65
00:06:17,552 --> 00:06:19,224
Kiss me first.
66
00:06:34,312 --> 00:06:35,745
I love you so much.
67
00:06:35,992 --> 00:06:37,311
Hi, Yale.
68
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,710
Judy's always been
a good girl. Always!
69
00:06:42,072 --> 00:06:44,381
She made a mistake
with the first husband.
70
00:06:44,632 --> 00:06:48,545
That's ancient history. The smartest
thing she ever did was to marry you.
71
00:06:48,792 --> 00:06:49,622
That's nice, Teddy.
72
00:06:49,872 --> 00:06:52,102
It's very important
for a father to know...
73
00:06:52,352 --> 00:06:55,583
...his daughter's going to be
well taken care of. Don't laugh!
74
00:06:56,032 --> 00:06:58,944
You'll know what I mean
when your daughter gets married.
75
00:06:59,192 --> 00:07:00,989
Anyway, that's number one.
76
00:07:01,232 --> 00:07:02,506
Number two!
77
00:07:02,792 --> 00:07:04,464
We'll still have Sunday breakfasts?
78
00:07:04,832 --> 00:07:06,424
- Of course, Daddy.
- Good.
79
00:07:06,672 --> 00:07:08,981
You can get the whitefish
on your way over.
80
00:07:09,432 --> 00:07:13,391
I want to give you two
a little something from mother and me...
81
00:07:13,632 --> 00:07:15,031
...a little extra happiness.
82
00:07:17,912 --> 00:07:20,551
I guess it's not
carpeting for the living room.
83
00:07:23,112 --> 00:07:26,787
That's for the future, not
Lord and Taylor, you little jerk!
84
00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:32,302
Teddy, you're amazing!
85
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:35,624
It's my pleasure.
Just use it in good health.
86
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,225
Thanks, Mom.
87
00:07:37,592 --> 00:07:39,548
I'll show my mother,
she'll go crazy!
88
00:07:40,232 --> 00:07:41,950
I can't believe it!
89
00:07:44,192 --> 00:07:45,784
Jude, get me a cigarette.
90
00:07:51,312 --> 00:07:52,506
Coming back inside, Daddy?
91
00:07:52,912 --> 00:07:55,745
I just want to see the recap
of tonight's game.
92
00:07:56,592 --> 00:07:58,264
Should I wait for you here?
93
00:08:02,832 --> 00:08:04,026
Dad?
94
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:07,149
Get me a match, doll.
95
00:08:20,072 --> 00:08:23,587
Jerry, if you call her you'll
screw it up. That's my job, all right?
96
00:08:23,832 --> 00:08:24,662
No, to call her.
97
00:08:24,912 --> 00:08:28,871
How long you married? Anything more
than 15 years, you lose the house.
98
00:08:29,152 --> 00:08:31,871
It's not my rule,
that's just the way it is.
99
00:08:32,352 --> 00:08:34,024
Keep the boat, it's a male item.
100
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:39,027
Prenups is the only way
to get around this and it's too late.
101
00:08:39,872 --> 00:08:42,102
Give her the microwave,
it's a built-in!
102
00:08:42,592 --> 00:08:45,265
It comes with the house.
What'll you do with one oven?
103
00:08:46,512 --> 00:08:48,548
It's late now.
6:30 a.m. Monday...
104
00:08:48,792 --> 00:08:52,421
...we'll play racquetball. We'll
figure it out then. Can you wait?
105
00:08:52,672 --> 00:08:54,902
We'll be in Jamaica
6:30 Monday.
106
00:08:55,152 --> 00:08:56,744
I'll be on my honeymoon Monday.
107
00:08:56,992 --> 00:08:58,630
I'll call you from Jamaica.
108
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,544
I don't know, from the hotel.
109
00:09:01,512 --> 00:09:04,231
No, you'll be halved at worst.
You're okay.
110
00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:06,151
Prenups, babe!
111
00:09:09,392 --> 00:09:11,860
- That'll never happen to us.
- I know.
112
00:09:12,232 --> 00:09:15,941
- Did this bathroom turn out gorgeous?
- This ass is gorgeous.
113
00:09:16,192 --> 00:09:17,625
Come here.
114
00:09:19,752 --> 00:09:21,868
- What?
- Wait, honey.
115
00:09:22,432 --> 00:09:23,945
Wait just one second.
116
00:09:24,192 --> 00:09:26,501
- Lift your back leg.
- I don't have a back leg.
117
00:09:26,752 --> 00:09:31,223
It's our wedding night. It's not
real romantic making love in the sink.
118
00:09:31,472 --> 00:09:34,703
- It's romantic making love anywhere.
- I know. I love you.
119
00:09:34,952 --> 00:09:39,104
- Let's go into the bedroom.
- We're going into the bedroom next.
120
00:09:39,992 --> 00:09:42,108
Just here. Good, sweetie!
121
00:09:42,752 --> 00:09:43,901
Honey, good!
122
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:48,222
You're on my hair,
get off my hair.
123
00:09:49,512 --> 00:09:50,467
How's that?
124
00:10:00,472 --> 00:10:02,622
- Oh, honey!
- What?
125
00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:07,583
- Oh, sweetie!
- What?
126
00:10:08,672 --> 00:10:09,741
I'm coming!
127
00:10:21,712 --> 00:10:23,828
Why don't we go and get in bed?
128
00:10:39,752 --> 00:10:43,984
Oh, God, full of compassion,
thou who dwellest on high.
129
00:10:44,472 --> 00:10:48,101
Grant perfect rest unto
the soul of Yale Goodman...
130
00:10:48,352 --> 00:10:50,547
...who has departed from this world.
131
00:10:50,992 --> 00:10:53,711
Lord of mercy, bring him
into Thy presence...
132
00:10:53,952 --> 00:10:58,707
...and let his soul be bound up
in the bond of eternal life.
133
00:10:59,872 --> 00:11:01,100
Amen.
134
00:11:02,312 --> 00:11:03,904
I can't try to console you...
135
00:11:04,152 --> 00:11:06,666
...by saying there is
any justice in this world.
136
00:11:06,912 --> 00:11:09,187
Just be thankful for the friendship...
137
00:11:09,432 --> 00:11:13,391
...and tenderness you and Yale
had the opportunity to share.
138
00:11:14,832 --> 00:11:19,667
My philosophy of life has gotten me
through some very rough times.
139
00:11:20,152 --> 00:11:21,949
Let me share it with you.
140
00:11:24,432 --> 00:11:26,309
Que ser� ser�.
141
00:11:27,112 --> 00:11:29,307
I got it from the song.
142
00:11:40,472 --> 00:11:41,666
Judith?
143
00:11:43,632 --> 00:11:45,224
Just one thing.
144
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:47,549
If you can remember...
145
00:11:47,952 --> 00:11:51,547
...what were Yale's last words?
146
00:11:54,192 --> 00:11:55,989
"I'm coming."
147
00:11:58,232 --> 00:12:00,109
I know you don't want to hear this...
148
00:12:01,232 --> 00:12:04,349
...but you got to get
right back into circulation.
149
00:12:04,672 --> 00:12:08,221
When you fall off the horse,
you got to climb right back on.
150
00:12:08,472 --> 00:12:10,747
Aunt Kissy, please!
151
00:12:11,992 --> 00:12:14,506
Could I be alone now?
152
00:12:15,112 --> 00:12:16,591
I'm sorry.
153
00:12:23,072 --> 00:12:24,107
She wants to be alone.
154
00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:26,343
She wants to be alone.
155
00:12:26,992 --> 00:12:30,109
She doesn't want to live in their place.
I can't blame her.
156
00:12:30,352 --> 00:12:34,630
- Sell everything and buy her new.
- Buy her new? She'll live with us.
157
00:12:34,912 --> 00:12:38,268
- What if she doesn't want to?
- She doesn't know what she wants.
158
00:12:38,512 --> 00:12:41,743
And what's she going to do now?
Be my secretary again?
159
00:12:42,032 --> 00:12:46,469
The girl's 29 years old
and trained to do nothing.
160
00:12:46,872 --> 00:12:48,544
I'm 28.
161
00:13:00,592 --> 00:13:02,583
Look what we got!
162
00:13:34,992 --> 00:13:37,222
I've never not belonged to somebody.
163
00:13:37,472 --> 00:13:38,507
Never.
164
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:41,664
My first boyfriend was
in nursery school. I was two...
165
00:13:41,912 --> 00:13:43,709
...and he was three and since then...
166
00:13:43,952 --> 00:13:48,025
...I've been pinned,
lavaliered, engaged...
167
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:50,383
...married twice.
168
00:13:51,672 --> 00:13:53,902
The first time, I was twenty.
169
00:13:55,232 --> 00:13:57,951
See, I've been in this room
eight days...
170
00:13:58,192 --> 00:14:02,743
...and it's really the first eight days
I've ever been alone in my life.
171
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,191
If I'm not going to be married...
172
00:14:05,432 --> 00:14:08,822
...I don't know what I'm
supposed to do with myself.
173
00:14:10,352 --> 00:14:13,150
Did you happen to see
that movie Unmarried Woman?
174
00:14:14,512 --> 00:14:16,389
Well, I didn't get it.
175
00:14:16,712 --> 00:14:19,180
I would've been
Mrs. Alan Bates so fast...
176
00:14:19,432 --> 00:14:21,741
...that guy wouldn't have
known what hit him.
177
00:14:22,352 --> 00:14:24,422
The thing is, and then I'll shut up...
178
00:14:27,072 --> 00:14:29,745
...I haven't done anything wrong.
179
00:14:29,992 --> 00:14:32,984
And I feel like I'm being punished!
180
00:14:35,312 --> 00:14:38,065
I thought I'd be
filling up my freezer...
181
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:42,828
...and be getting this new
pine sideboard that I ordered and...
182
00:14:50,712 --> 00:14:52,543
Jessica, I do hate...
183
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,750
...to stop your free association,
but our switchboard's flooded.
184
00:14:56,392 --> 00:14:59,782
So set your phone down
and turn your radio up, okay?
185
00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:01,624
Hello, Night Owl,
you're on the air.
186
00:15:02,552 --> 00:15:05,669
You lucked out. I read in
the Enquirer this morning...
187
00:15:05,912 --> 00:15:07,425
...that marriage causes cancer.
188
00:15:07,672 --> 00:15:09,867
Philadelphia Night Owl,
you're on the air.
189
00:15:10,112 --> 00:15:13,263
About that Palestinian homeland.
In your Bible you'll see...
190
00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:16,185
...that the Arabs had first dibs
on the West Bank.
191
00:15:16,432 --> 00:15:17,547
Not tonight, Del, thanks.
192
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,862
Line 4, have you
got advice for Jessica?
193
00:15:20,112 --> 00:15:22,103
Yes, I do. Hi, Jessica.
194
00:15:22,392 --> 00:15:23,347
My name is Jim.
195
00:15:23,592 --> 00:15:25,708
First let me say
how terribly sorry I am...
196
00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:27,948
...about your misfortune.
197
00:15:28,192 --> 00:15:31,901
And nobody knows better than you
that things can 't get much worse.
198
00:15:32,552 --> 00:15:35,988
It's also pretty obvious that
you need guidance, security...
199
00:15:36,232 --> 00:15:40,020
...good friends and a healthy dose
of self-confidence, Jessica.
200
00:15:41,392 --> 00:15:45,180
What I'm saying is,
I think I can help you find a new life.
201
00:16:07,992 --> 00:16:09,789
- Are you Jessica?
- Jim?
202
00:16:10,032 --> 00:16:11,226
Yeah, hi.
203
00:16:12,032 --> 00:16:13,545
Am I late or you early?
204
00:16:13,792 --> 00:16:15,703
I'm just a few hours early.
205
00:16:15,952 --> 00:16:17,146
Come on.
206
00:16:21,952 --> 00:16:24,227
I should tell you,
my name is really Judy.
207
00:16:24,472 --> 00:16:27,782
I just didn't want anybody I knew
to hear me on the radio.
208
00:16:28,032 --> 00:16:30,341
- Macht nichts.
- What?
209
00:16:30,752 --> 00:16:33,312
It means,
"It makes no difference" in German.
210
00:16:33,592 --> 00:16:35,822
I was stationed over there
for 26 months.
211
00:16:36,072 --> 00:16:38,506
UNITED STATES ARMY
RECRUITING STATION
212
00:16:39,352 --> 00:16:40,990
What does that look like to you?
213
00:16:41,392 --> 00:16:42,825
What? Club Med?
214
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:46,510
It's the Fort Ord Army
Base in Monterey, California.
215
00:16:47,232 --> 00:16:48,984
Those look like condos.
216
00:16:49,992 --> 00:16:53,871
And every soldier gets
his or her own private room.
217
00:16:54,392 --> 00:16:55,620
What are these, yachts?
218
00:16:56,712 --> 00:16:59,590
The Army is the best-kept secret
in the world, Judy.
219
00:16:59,832 --> 00:17:02,665
Looks great, but you don't know me.
220
00:17:02,912 --> 00:17:04,789
I'm not the Army type.
221
00:17:05,032 --> 00:17:07,466
Forget that old brown boot
image of the Army.
222
00:17:07,712 --> 00:17:11,910
It's the 80s Army, all the ladies love
it. All 89,000 of them.
223
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,587
Check out this list of jobs.
224
00:17:14,872 --> 00:17:19,104
There's over 300 jobs, and only
a couple of them not offered to ladies.
225
00:17:19,352 --> 00:17:21,468
Trained killers, stuff like that.
226
00:17:22,232 --> 00:17:25,065
- How much do you earn per month now?
- Now?
227
00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:26,942
Nothing.
228
00:17:27,192 --> 00:17:28,420
Nothing?
229
00:17:32,632 --> 00:17:33,906
Thanks.
230
00:17:35,432 --> 00:17:36,865
What are you thinking?
231
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,789
I'm thinking about...
232
00:17:43,432 --> 00:17:45,343
...my family...
233
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,663
...and my house...
234
00:17:49,312 --> 00:17:51,872
...and all the gifts I have to return.
235
00:17:54,992 --> 00:17:59,508
You shouldn't be saddled with a lot of
responsibilities and decisions now.
236
00:17:59,832 --> 00:18:04,667
I'm prepared to offer you $458 a month,
train you in the job of your choice...
237
00:18:05,112 --> 00:18:07,831
...pay for your food, your housing,
all your medical...
238
00:18:08,072 --> 00:18:11,621
...and give you a 30-day paid vacation.
I'll tell you something...
239
00:18:11,872 --> 00:18:13,749
...with your education and background...
240
00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:16,506
...you could easily land an assignment
in Europe.
241
00:18:16,752 --> 00:18:18,026
Europe?
242
00:18:18,672 --> 00:18:21,140
I do need to get away.
243
00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:24,862
I promise, you'll be in the best
physical shape you've ever been in.
244
00:18:25,912 --> 00:18:28,426
It will be like 3 years at La Costa.
245
00:18:29,352 --> 00:18:31,229
La Costa. That's good!
246
00:18:34,792 --> 00:18:37,022
What if I hate it once I get there?
247
00:18:37,272 --> 00:18:38,261
Quit.
248
00:18:38,472 --> 00:18:40,542
It's a job, like anything else.
249
00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:49,622
I...
250
00:18:49,992 --> 00:18:51,141
State your full name.
251
00:18:52,592 --> 00:18:54,583
Do solemnly swear or affirm...
252
00:18:56,152 --> 00:18:57,949
...I will support and defend...
253
00:18:59,432 --> 00:19:01,627
...the Constitution
of the United States...
254
00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:06,306
...from all enemies,
foreign and domestic.
255
00:19:08,032 --> 00:19:10,466
That I will bear true faith
and allegiance...
256
00:19:12,032 --> 00:19:12,862
...to the same...
257
00:19:14,192 --> 00:19:15,989
...and will obey the orders...
258
00:19:17,512 --> 00:19:19,707
...of the President
of the United States...
259
00:19:21,232 --> 00:19:23,792
...and the orders of
the officers over me...
260
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:27,750
...according to regulations.
261
00:19:35,432 --> 00:19:36,660
All right.
262
00:19:37,152 --> 00:19:40,462
My name is Sergeant L.C. Ross.
263
00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:44,625
And I'll be your drill sergeant
for your 6 weeks basic training.
264
00:19:44,992 --> 00:19:47,825
My job is to turn you
lovely ladies and gentlemen...
265
00:19:48,072 --> 00:19:50,063
...into United States soldiers.
266
00:19:50,632 --> 00:19:53,988
The first thing we'll do is put you
through your in-processing.
267
00:19:54,232 --> 00:19:58,828
While you are waiting in line for your
processing, you will not, I repeat...
268
00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:02,428
...you will not be flapping your lips.
269
00:20:02,872 --> 00:20:05,306
You'll be filling out these forms.
270
00:20:06,512 --> 00:20:10,221
I'm going to call out your names
and I want you to line up behind me.
271
00:20:13,752 --> 00:20:14,662
Abbott.
272
00:20:14,912 --> 00:20:15,981
Barnett.
273
00:20:17,432 --> 00:20:18,626
Benjamin.
274
00:20:19,912 --> 00:20:20,901
Benjamin!
275
00:20:21,152 --> 00:20:22,346
- Sir.
- Fall in, Benjamin.
276
00:20:22,592 --> 00:20:23,707
I'm Private Winter...
277
00:20:23,952 --> 00:20:27,661
...but I think I can be of assistance
in locating Private Benjamin.
278
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:29,467
Sir.
279
00:20:40,792 --> 00:20:42,862
- Are we at the fort?
- Yes we are.
280
00:20:43,192 --> 00:20:45,148
Time to wake up now.
281
00:20:46,472 --> 00:20:47,382
In a sec.
282
00:20:47,712 --> 00:20:49,430
Get your ass up
and out on the company street!
283
00:20:54,112 --> 00:20:55,306
I never!
284
00:20:55,552 --> 00:20:57,668
Give me 10 pushups!
Knock them out!
285
00:20:57,912 --> 00:20:59,948
You mind if I check into
my room first?
286
00:21:00,232 --> 00:21:02,302
Assume the position and hit it!
287
00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:03,667
Now!
288
00:21:13,952 --> 00:21:15,305
Up! Down!
289
00:21:19,832 --> 00:21:21,390
What is this, hell week?
290
00:21:21,632 --> 00:21:22,621
No, Benjamin...
291
00:21:22,872 --> 00:21:24,703
...this is the Army!
292
00:21:33,232 --> 00:21:36,349
Excuse me, sir, is green
the only color these come in?
293
00:21:37,912 --> 00:21:40,984
Close it up back there,
you meatheads. Go!
294
00:21:41,352 --> 00:21:43,582
Pick it up! Pick it up!
Close it up!
295
00:21:43,832 --> 00:21:46,869
Close up that field back there!
Come on, move it!
296
00:21:48,392 --> 00:21:50,462
Where are the yachts?
297
00:21:57,912 --> 00:22:00,984
- Excuse me, are you a reporter?
- Who, me?
298
00:22:01,632 --> 00:22:02,542
No.
299
00:22:03,232 --> 00:22:06,668
I joined up, but I'm not staying.
There's been a mistake.
300
00:22:06,912 --> 00:22:08,903
I'll straighten it out
when the manager gets here.
301
00:22:09,152 --> 00:22:12,110
Man on the floor! In front
of your cots at attention!
302
00:22:16,832 --> 00:22:19,062
Barracks ready for inspection, Captain.
303
00:22:29,592 --> 00:22:33,062
What's the matter, honey?
Are you a crybaby?
304
00:22:33,312 --> 00:22:34,142
No, sir.
305
00:22:34,392 --> 00:22:35,381
Ma'am!
306
00:22:39,312 --> 00:22:42,065
I know how all you ladies
drool over this...
307
00:22:42,312 --> 00:22:44,780
...this Fonzie character...
308
00:22:45,112 --> 00:22:46,386
...but not in my outfit.
309
00:22:46,632 --> 00:22:47,508
Burn it.
310
00:22:59,432 --> 00:23:01,741
- Your name, soldier?
- Private Winter, ma'am.
311
00:23:13,512 --> 00:23:16,345
Outstanding, Winter. Outstanding.
312
00:23:16,992 --> 00:23:18,107
Ladies!
313
00:23:18,352 --> 00:23:20,149
Examine Private Winter's locker.
314
00:23:20,392 --> 00:23:21,507
Learn from it.
315
00:23:23,432 --> 00:23:26,788
You keep this up and we'll talk
officer's candidate school.
316
00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:29,063
Thank you, ma'am!
317
00:23:39,912 --> 00:23:42,631
This brassiere isn't regulation, Ross.
318
00:23:42,872 --> 00:23:44,669
And neither is this face.
319
00:23:44,912 --> 00:23:47,904
And you look like a clown, soldier.
Clean up your act.
320
00:23:51,872 --> 00:23:54,306
Gianelli's a 308, ma'am.
321
00:23:58,032 --> 00:24:00,546
So it was the Army or jail?
322
00:24:01,832 --> 00:24:04,790
After 6 weeks with me,
you're going to wish you chose Attica.
323
00:24:05,032 --> 00:24:07,023
Don't push me, punk.
324
00:24:07,552 --> 00:24:12,023
This is the most pathetic group
of trainees I have ever laid my eyes on.
325
00:24:13,872 --> 00:24:15,783
My companies are the best-trained...
326
00:24:16,032 --> 00:24:18,865
...the best-disciplined
soldiers on this base.
327
00:24:22,352 --> 00:24:25,901
I hate to interrupt you,
but could I speak to you for a sec?
328
00:24:26,152 --> 00:24:29,542
My Lord! Sergeant,
would you look at this!
329
00:24:29,792 --> 00:24:31,544
I've seen it, ma'am.
330
00:24:32,792 --> 00:24:34,908
What's your name, Princess?
331
00:24:35,152 --> 00:24:36,187
Judy.
332
00:24:37,112 --> 00:24:39,626
Judy Benjamin.
333
00:24:41,872 --> 00:24:44,989
I think they sent me to the wrong...
334
00:24:45,592 --> 00:24:47,025
...place.
335
00:24:47,872 --> 00:24:52,309
You see, I did join the Army,
but I joined a different Army.
336
00:24:52,552 --> 00:24:56,943
I joined the one with the condos
and the private rooms.
337
00:24:59,912 --> 00:25:03,143
No, really! My recruiter,
Jim Ballard, told me that...
338
00:25:03,392 --> 00:25:07,180
I don't care what your lousy recruiter
told you, Benjamin.
339
00:25:07,432 --> 00:25:09,502
I'm telling you, there is no other Army.
340
00:25:10,232 --> 00:25:11,506
Wait a minute.
341
00:25:11,752 --> 00:25:14,141
I don't want to have to
go to your boss, okay?
342
00:25:16,632 --> 00:25:21,183
To be truthful with you, I can't
sleep in a room with 20 strangers.
343
00:25:21,512 --> 00:25:22,467
Oh, dear!
344
00:25:22,712 --> 00:25:25,385
Look at this place.
The Army couldn't afford drapes?
345
00:25:25,632 --> 00:25:28,226
I'll be up at the crack of dawn here.
346
00:25:29,632 --> 00:25:33,068
And I have to tell you,
I am frankly a little shocked.
347
00:25:33,872 --> 00:25:35,225
You're shocked?
348
00:25:35,552 --> 00:25:36,462
Why?
349
00:25:36,712 --> 00:25:39,624
This place is a sty.
350
00:25:42,312 --> 00:25:45,349
Look at these stains.
God knows where this has been.
351
00:25:46,912 --> 00:25:48,903
And have you seen the bathroom?
352
00:25:54,072 --> 00:25:57,462
Do you think that
the latrine is unsanitary?
353
00:25:58,352 --> 00:25:59,580
It's disgusting!
354
00:26:00,832 --> 00:26:03,141
There are urinals in there.
355
00:26:04,432 --> 00:26:06,787
That's because this is the Army...
356
00:26:08,032 --> 00:26:09,863
...it's not a sorority house.
357
00:26:13,032 --> 00:26:16,308
May I see your toothbrush?
Please?
358
00:26:35,512 --> 00:26:38,629
Yale, how could you do this to me?
359
00:26:58,672 --> 00:27:00,390
You could eat off that floor.
360
00:27:00,632 --> 00:27:02,304
Why don't you.
361
00:27:14,752 --> 00:27:16,424
Reveille! Let's go!
362
00:27:16,672 --> 00:27:18,264
Everybody up!
363
00:27:18,512 --> 00:27:19,706
Move it!
364
00:27:20,072 --> 00:27:22,142
Everybody up! Everybody move!
365
00:27:23,072 --> 00:27:24,869
Everybody, Benjamin!
366
00:27:25,112 --> 00:27:28,388
You can't mean me.
I worked the night shift.
367
00:27:28,672 --> 00:27:30,981
Go check out the bathroom,
it's fabulous.
368
00:27:45,712 --> 00:27:46,986
Alpha Company...
369
00:27:47,232 --> 00:27:48,870
...attention!
370
00:27:49,152 --> 00:27:51,985
Bravo Company, attention!
371
00:28:07,472 --> 00:28:08,541
At ease, gentlemen...
372
00:28:08,952 --> 00:28:09,907
...and ladies.
373
00:28:12,632 --> 00:28:14,304
I'm your post commander.
374
00:28:15,072 --> 00:28:16,585
Colonel Clay Thornbush.
375
00:28:16,872 --> 00:28:17,861
Welcome...
376
00:28:18,152 --> 00:28:21,189
...to the Biloxi, Mississippi
Basic Training Center.
377
00:28:21,432 --> 00:28:23,229
The backbone of the U.S. Army.
378
00:28:23,472 --> 00:28:26,464
You have two company commanders
to lead you through basic.
379
00:28:26,712 --> 00:28:28,543
Capt. Doreen Lewis,
a 5-year veteran...
380
00:28:28,792 --> 00:28:30,748
...here at Fort Biloxi,
of Alpha Company.
381
00:28:30,992 --> 00:28:32,471
And a newcomer to the family...
382
00:28:32,712 --> 00:28:35,351
...Captain William Wooldridge,
Bravo Company.
383
00:28:35,592 --> 00:28:38,311
Here, we turn out
the best-fed, best-trained...
384
00:28:38,552 --> 00:28:40,782
...soldiers, but it doesn't come easy.
385
00:28:41,192 --> 00:28:44,309
It does not happen overnight.
You must have the strength...
386
00:28:45,512 --> 00:28:48,345
...the self-discipline,
and mental stamina necessary...
387
00:28:48,592 --> 00:28:51,390
...to meet the standards
of the United States Army.
388
00:28:51,632 --> 00:28:53,623
The next 6 weeks will be the test.
389
00:28:54,432 --> 00:28:55,751
It'll be hell...
390
00:28:57,592 --> 00:28:59,389
...but you'll be glad you did it.
391
00:29:02,112 --> 00:29:03,670
Move it!
392
00:29:05,712 --> 00:29:06,906
Left, right! Left!
393
00:29:15,992 --> 00:29:19,348
I thought it would be
a few leg lifts, a little stretching...
394
00:29:19,592 --> 00:29:21,867
...maybe a disco class, you know.
395
00:29:22,112 --> 00:29:24,706
You're not real talkative,
are you, Soyer?
396
00:29:25,512 --> 00:29:26,627
We run them out...
397
00:29:26,912 --> 00:29:28,470
...and we march them back.
398
00:29:29,392 --> 00:29:33,670
Then about twice a week,
I spring a surprise inspection on them.
399
00:29:33,912 --> 00:29:35,504
That's good Army.
400
00:29:36,752 --> 00:29:38,470
Keeps them on their toes.
401
00:29:40,232 --> 00:29:42,621
- Got one more question.
- Shoot.
402
00:29:44,192 --> 00:29:45,102
Are you busy Friday?
403
00:31:12,832 --> 00:31:14,424
Look out, Gianelli!
404
00:31:23,112 --> 00:31:24,989
I can't take anymore.
They've broken me.
405
00:31:25,232 --> 00:31:27,700
- I'm quitting.
- Girl, you can't quit this Army.
406
00:31:27,952 --> 00:31:31,069
I can. The recruiter told me
quit anytime I want.
407
00:31:31,312 --> 00:31:33,906
Jesus, you still believe
your recruiter?
408
00:31:34,152 --> 00:31:35,949
It's only for 3 years.
409
00:31:36,192 --> 00:31:38,308
Company halt!
410
00:31:43,992 --> 00:31:44,981
Move it, Benjamin!
411
00:31:45,232 --> 00:31:49,111
I don't want to see you stop running
unless you collapse, faint or puke!
412
00:32:00,912 --> 00:32:04,188
I have never looked
worse in my life!
413
00:32:05,512 --> 00:32:08,072
Has anybody ever died from basic?
414
00:32:41,352 --> 00:32:42,751
Excuse me.
415
00:32:50,712 --> 00:32:52,828
I think you took my blanket.
416
00:32:53,312 --> 00:32:56,668
This is my blanket.
You gave it to me.
417
00:32:58,632 --> 00:33:01,624
- I don't think I did.
- Maybe you just forgot.
418
00:33:01,872 --> 00:33:03,590
Maybe you got brain damage.
419
00:33:06,512 --> 00:33:08,184
Okay, I gave it to you.
420
00:33:08,432 --> 00:33:09,865
By mistake.
421
00:33:10,632 --> 00:33:12,827
- I want it back, okay?
- Take it.
422
00:34:03,072 --> 00:34:04,585
Where are you going?
423
00:34:06,232 --> 00:34:07,506
Home.
424
00:34:15,032 --> 00:34:17,500
We're going to have to
do this again real soon.
425
00:34:18,672 --> 00:34:20,663
How about every Friday night?
426
00:34:22,672 --> 00:34:25,106
I'm going to set you free, Doreen.
427
00:34:47,952 --> 00:34:50,102
Captain Lewis, ma'am,
we've got trouble.
428
00:34:54,032 --> 00:34:55,465
My hair!
429
00:35:03,912 --> 00:35:06,631
Benjamin, you are not fit
to wear that uniform!
430
00:35:06,872 --> 00:35:08,464
No shit!
431
00:35:11,472 --> 00:35:15,465
What do you want from me?
I didn't ask her to punish everybody!
432
00:35:15,712 --> 00:35:18,306
You think I like schlepping
in rain all day and night?
433
00:35:18,552 --> 00:35:20,588
Just keep marching, Benjamin!
434
00:35:20,832 --> 00:35:23,824
My name is Judy! J-U-D-Y...
435
00:35:24,072 --> 00:35:26,586
...and I'd like somebody
to call me by my name.
436
00:35:27,192 --> 00:35:28,511
Hey, Judy!
437
00:35:29,792 --> 00:35:32,306
I took my life in my own hands.
I made a mistake.
438
00:35:32,552 --> 00:35:35,783
I'm sorry. I'll never do it again!
I want to wear my sandals!
439
00:35:37,352 --> 00:35:39,422
I want to go out to lunch.
440
00:35:39,672 --> 00:35:41,469
I want to be normal again.
441
00:35:41,752 --> 00:35:44,505
Would you please
just shut up, Benjamin!
442
00:35:44,752 --> 00:35:48,062
God! Never in all my born days
met such a whiny...
443
00:35:48,392 --> 00:35:50,189
...candy-ass as you!
444
00:35:50,432 --> 00:35:53,583
I don't want to be in the Army!
445
00:35:58,712 --> 00:36:00,225
But we do, okay?
446
00:36:00,472 --> 00:36:02,781
We can't afford any more trouble
on account of you.
447
00:36:04,432 --> 00:36:06,787
I thought you and I
could be friends, but you're...
448
00:36:07,032 --> 00:36:09,705
- Forget it!
- What? I'm what?
449
00:36:10,472 --> 00:36:13,589
You're the most
insensitive person I've ever met.
450
00:36:13,912 --> 00:36:15,823
That is so untrue!
451
00:36:16,072 --> 00:36:19,985
I never go to someone's
home empty-handed!
452
00:36:20,432 --> 00:36:22,104
People love me!
453
00:36:22,352 --> 00:36:23,307
Platoon, halt!
454
00:36:24,472 --> 00:36:25,825
Fall out!
455
00:36:33,392 --> 00:36:34,541
To the day room...
456
00:36:34,792 --> 00:36:35,907
...on the double!
457
00:36:53,952 --> 00:36:55,704
They didn't tell me it was you.
458
00:37:05,392 --> 00:37:06,541
Hi, Mom.
459
00:37:14,792 --> 00:37:16,305
Hi, Daddy.
460
00:37:23,072 --> 00:37:24,551
Sit down, Judy.
461
00:37:26,232 --> 00:37:27,506
I was...
462
00:37:27,752 --> 00:37:30,949
...going to call, but I wasn't
feeling very good.
463
00:37:34,232 --> 00:37:35,745
Eight days.
464
00:37:36,712 --> 00:37:38,703
Our daughter disappears...
465
00:37:38,952 --> 00:37:41,591
...for eight days without a single word.
466
00:37:43,352 --> 00:37:47,425
We thought you were kidnapped.
The FBI was looking for you...
467
00:37:47,672 --> 00:37:49,628
...when some stranger calls...
468
00:37:49,872 --> 00:37:53,706
...telling us how fine you are
and that you'd enlisted in the Army.
469
00:37:54,992 --> 00:37:56,869
We tried to figure out why.
470
00:37:57,952 --> 00:38:00,864
Personally, I think you've gone
temporarily insane.
471
00:38:01,432 --> 00:38:03,582
That's what we told everyone.
472
00:38:04,072 --> 00:38:06,506
We said that you had a collapse...
473
00:38:06,752 --> 00:38:08,708
...and that you were in a mental home.
474
00:38:09,992 --> 00:38:11,550
People think I'm in a mental home?
475
00:38:12,632 --> 00:38:13,621
What should we say?
476
00:38:13,872 --> 00:38:17,547
That you're in an Army barracks
in Mississippi with a bunch of...
477
00:38:17,792 --> 00:38:20,067
- What?
- I don't know what!
478
00:38:21,712 --> 00:38:23,464
That's why I don't like it.
479
00:38:25,392 --> 00:38:28,702
How could you do this to your parents?
480
00:38:29,232 --> 00:38:33,589
Haven't we done enough for you?
Given you everything you wanted?
481
00:38:33,832 --> 00:38:38,144
Did I get you a car on your sixteenth
birthday? Did I get you into college?
482
00:38:38,392 --> 00:38:41,748
Did I bail you out of your first
marriage to that schmuck? Did I?
483
00:38:41,992 --> 00:38:42,822
Relax.
484
00:38:43,072 --> 00:38:44,790
I am relaxed!
485
00:38:49,272 --> 00:38:51,911
Why are you punishing us?
486
00:38:56,632 --> 00:38:58,429
Maybe you hate us.
487
00:39:01,032 --> 00:39:02,829
I don't hate you,
I love you.
488
00:39:05,032 --> 00:39:07,626
You know your Aunt Kissy
is living with us now.
489
00:39:08,872 --> 00:39:09,702
Why?
490
00:39:10,032 --> 00:39:12,626
Because you mother's had a
nervous breakdown, that's why!
491
00:39:17,432 --> 00:39:21,630
You were never a smart girl.
We're all going to stop pretending now.
492
00:39:24,072 --> 00:39:28,190
You are obviously incapable
of making your own decisions.
493
00:39:28,792 --> 00:39:32,387
Starting tomorrow,
I do not let you out of my sight.
494
00:39:32,632 --> 00:39:34,031
I don't care how much you cry.
495
00:39:34,592 --> 00:39:36,423
The Benjamins!
496
00:39:37,392 --> 00:39:38,905
Captain Lewis.
497
00:39:43,392 --> 00:39:45,383
It is so good to meet you in person.
498
00:39:46,072 --> 00:39:46,948
Thank you.
499
00:39:48,512 --> 00:39:50,742
Captain Lewis said we could
take you home, darling.
500
00:39:51,352 --> 00:39:55,425
I'm sorry that things just
didn't work out here for Judy.
501
00:39:56,392 --> 00:39:58,428
She's a hard worker.
502
00:39:58,672 --> 00:40:00,822
She's very... popular...
503
00:40:01,072 --> 00:40:03,267
...with all the other girls.
504
00:40:03,912 --> 00:40:06,301
We are sad to see her go.
505
00:40:08,832 --> 00:40:12,666
If you sign here on the dotted line,
you're as good as home, young lady.
506
00:40:13,752 --> 00:40:14,980
Right there.
507
00:40:18,192 --> 00:40:19,625
Here, darling. Here you are.
508
00:40:21,112 --> 00:40:23,467
Come on, take it.
509
00:40:26,192 --> 00:40:27,671
No, thanks.
510
00:40:28,992 --> 00:40:30,664
Think I'll stay.
511
00:40:43,272 --> 00:40:44,102
Mom.
512
00:40:44,752 --> 00:40:45,582
Daddy.
513
00:41:40,952 --> 00:41:42,271
All right, knock it off!
514
00:41:42,512 --> 00:41:43,945
Break it! Let's go!
515
00:42:12,872 --> 00:42:17,024
Welcome to the Biloxi War Games,
the Super Bowl of Basic Training.
516
00:42:17,312 --> 00:42:20,110
Simulated combat will test
your skills and courage.
517
00:42:20,352 --> 00:42:23,628
Captain Wooldridge will lead
the red team. Captain Lewis...
518
00:42:23,872 --> 00:42:27,581
...the blue team. I will be observing
the exercises from the air.
519
00:42:28,432 --> 00:42:30,423
Good luck.
And fight proud!
520
00:42:32,472 --> 00:42:33,666
Fight proud!
521
00:42:43,672 --> 00:42:45,071
Thompson, Hike...
522
00:42:45,312 --> 00:42:47,268
...Katz, Byron...
523
00:42:47,512 --> 00:42:48,501
...Richter!
524
00:42:49,232 --> 00:42:53,191
Your objective is to capture and blow
up Red Team's communication center.
525
00:42:53,432 --> 00:42:55,309
Beware, mine-fields are out there.
526
00:42:55,552 --> 00:42:57,224
Most of them are inert...
527
00:42:57,472 --> 00:42:58,666
...but some are ert.
528
00:42:59,192 --> 00:43:00,466
Take off!
529
00:43:00,712 --> 00:43:01,781
Private Winter!
530
00:43:04,392 --> 00:43:06,667
You'll serve as Captain Lewis'
aide-de-camp.
531
00:43:07,832 --> 00:43:09,584
Sir. Yes, sir!
532
00:43:10,632 --> 00:43:11,462
Team "C"!
533
00:43:11,992 --> 00:43:13,869
Gianelli, Glass...
534
00:43:14,112 --> 00:43:16,023
...Moe, Benjamin...
535
00:43:16,272 --> 00:43:17,387
...Soyer!
536
00:43:18,392 --> 00:43:21,225
Your objective is to
guard this area here.
537
00:43:21,472 --> 00:43:23,827
Excuse me, Drill Sergeant,
what is that area?
538
00:43:24,912 --> 00:43:26,265
That's the swamp.
539
00:43:26,872 --> 00:43:27,782
Swamp?
540
00:43:30,352 --> 00:43:31,705
Take off!
541
00:43:47,592 --> 00:43:50,629
If you can't read that map,
why don't you just say it?
542
00:43:50,872 --> 00:43:52,988
You're supposed
to be the point man!
543
00:43:53,232 --> 00:43:55,143
Benj pointed me in the wrong direction!
544
00:43:55,432 --> 00:43:58,742
- What am I, Magellan?
- What are we going to guard, algae?
545
00:44:00,552 --> 00:44:02,383
Let's just go straight north.
546
00:44:02,632 --> 00:44:04,668
- We came from the north!
- Let's go south.
547
00:44:04,912 --> 00:44:06,265
Wait! Relax.
548
00:44:06,512 --> 00:44:08,389
If we can't get back by tomorrow...
549
00:44:08,752 --> 00:44:10,185
...they'll send a search plane.
550
00:44:10,432 --> 00:44:12,582
We have enough bodies
to spell "help"?
551
00:44:13,072 --> 00:44:13,982
Let's go.
552
00:44:20,632 --> 00:44:23,465
The first time I ever did it...
553
00:44:30,832 --> 00:44:34,347
...was on an overnight hike
with my Bible class.
554
00:44:36,672 --> 00:44:40,745
We're talking Laemil Lefebvre,
my preacher's son.
555
00:44:46,312 --> 00:44:50,590
I'd never done nothing
in my life before. Nothing!
556
00:44:50,832 --> 00:44:53,300
And he just climbed right smack-dab...
557
00:44:53,552 --> 00:44:56,225
...in the middle of my sleeping bag,
and I was scared.
558
00:44:58,152 --> 00:45:01,224
Not to mention the fact
that his daddy, the preacher...
559
00:45:01,472 --> 00:45:04,032
...was right over there,
just about ten feet away.
560
00:45:04,272 --> 00:45:05,102
How was it?
561
00:45:06,272 --> 00:45:07,625
Quiet...
562
00:45:08,152 --> 00:45:11,030
...but very nice. Very nice!
563
00:45:14,432 --> 00:45:16,343
I had an orgasm once.
564
00:45:19,192 --> 00:45:20,910
But I was alone.
565
00:45:23,192 --> 00:45:26,070
I guess you must have been alone.
566
00:45:33,152 --> 00:45:34,631
Once...
567
00:45:35,352 --> 00:45:39,709
...when I was with my first husband,
I got to this place...
568
00:45:39,992 --> 00:45:42,825
...that was kind of nice and tingly.
569
00:45:47,992 --> 00:45:50,028
I don't know if it was official.
570
00:45:50,272 --> 00:45:52,991
I mean, I don't know
if this was an official...
571
00:45:53,232 --> 00:45:55,143
...orgasm, you know.
572
00:45:57,632 --> 00:46:01,545
But I counted it as one for five years.
573
00:46:04,592 --> 00:46:06,423
How many times
have you been married?
574
00:46:09,392 --> 00:46:10,711
Twice.
575
00:46:13,272 --> 00:46:15,991
The first time for six weeks...
576
00:46:16,312 --> 00:46:17,984
...and the second time...
577
00:46:18,232 --> 00:46:19,551
...for six hours.
578
00:46:19,792 --> 00:46:20,622
Six hours?
579
00:46:21,352 --> 00:46:23,547
My husband had a heart attack and died.
580
00:46:23,792 --> 00:46:24,702
What?!
581
00:46:26,632 --> 00:46:29,021
My husband had a heart attack...
582
00:46:29,272 --> 00:46:32,309
...and died on our wedding night.
583
00:46:33,912 --> 00:46:35,868
While we were making love.
584
00:46:36,992 --> 00:46:38,471
Holy shit!
585
00:46:38,712 --> 00:46:40,589
Jesus, Benjamin!
586
00:46:40,912 --> 00:46:43,551
I don't get it. What do you do
after a thing like that?
587
00:46:47,752 --> 00:46:49,390
Join the Army.
588
00:47:10,672 --> 00:47:14,460
We're lost. We've passed
that same alligator 7 times.
589
00:47:14,712 --> 00:47:16,430
I bet the war games are over by now.
590
00:47:16,672 --> 00:47:19,709
- Lewis is going to just kill us!
- There's a plane!
591
00:47:19,952 --> 00:47:22,420
I bet that's headed back to base.
Let's follow it.
592
00:47:22,672 --> 00:47:25,106
I hope it's not Delta to Miami.
593
00:47:26,232 --> 00:47:28,746
Look, it's the Red Army headquarters.
594
00:47:31,632 --> 00:47:32,781
Quiet!
595
00:47:38,752 --> 00:47:39,787
Great.
596
00:47:40,152 --> 00:47:43,508
- You owe me $6.95.
- You got it!
597
00:47:54,992 --> 00:47:58,621
Hey, blood, how you doing?
All right, looking good!
598
00:47:58,872 --> 00:48:01,466
- What's happening, girl?
- What can I tell you?
599
00:48:02,192 --> 00:48:04,422
You're my prisoner of war,
that's what's happening!
600
00:48:04,672 --> 00:48:08,347
- I ain't your nothing. Get that...
- I mean what I say!
601
00:48:11,792 --> 00:48:12,907
Drop it!
602
00:48:16,072 --> 00:48:16,948
No, you drop it.
603
00:48:18,512 --> 00:48:19,991
I said, drop it!
604
00:48:22,152 --> 00:48:25,588
- Where's Captain Wooldridge?
- In the tent interrogating a P.O.W.
605
00:48:26,432 --> 00:48:27,785
Get the keys to the truck.
606
00:48:28,312 --> 00:48:29,427
Come on.
607
00:48:32,752 --> 00:48:34,310
- Oh, shit!
- Don't worry.
608
00:48:34,552 --> 00:48:36,622
- I'll hot-wire it.
- You know how?
609
00:48:37,112 --> 00:48:38,625
That's my former career.
610
00:48:38,872 --> 00:48:39,941
Excellent!
611
00:48:56,952 --> 00:48:58,101
What?
612
00:49:00,472 --> 00:49:01,302
Freeze!
613
00:49:02,112 --> 00:49:03,943
Private Winter!
614
00:49:05,992 --> 00:49:07,471
Well, lookee here!
615
00:49:07,712 --> 00:49:11,182
- Look what we got.
- Listen, Captain Lewis...
616
00:49:11,872 --> 00:49:14,147
She sent me out to find you guys and...
617
00:49:15,392 --> 00:49:16,620
...I got captured.
618
00:49:17,872 --> 00:49:20,386
He promised me he'd put in
a good word with Captain Lewis.
619
00:49:20,632 --> 00:49:22,224
And I really don't like him.
620
00:49:22,952 --> 00:49:24,624
Take the prisoners.
621
00:49:26,152 --> 00:49:28,746
Attention all Red Team personnel.
622
00:49:28,992 --> 00:49:31,984
The Blue Team has surrendered.
The Red Team has won.
623
00:49:32,232 --> 00:49:33,711
So follow us.
624
00:49:34,592 --> 00:49:36,708
Attention all Red Team personnel.
625
00:49:37,112 --> 00:49:38,625
The Blue Team has surrendered.
626
00:49:38,872 --> 00:49:41,306
The Red Team has won, so follow us.
627
00:49:46,832 --> 00:49:48,743
Red Team captured!
628
00:49:49,792 --> 00:49:51,783
Ross, take the platoon...
629
00:49:52,912 --> 00:49:53,981
...head due west.
630
00:49:55,592 --> 00:49:58,982
I'll lead the remaining troops
to the east.
631
00:50:06,592 --> 00:50:07,786
What now?
632
00:50:08,192 --> 00:50:09,341
Got any ideas?
633
00:50:15,672 --> 00:50:18,061
Off your asses!
On your feet!
634
00:50:22,392 --> 00:50:25,190
Overwhelming enemy forces approaching.
635
00:50:25,872 --> 00:50:30,388
Blue Team Company Commander
requests permission to surrender, sir.
636
00:50:30,832 --> 00:50:32,788
Do you accept
surrender of Blue Team?
637
00:50:33,032 --> 00:50:36,308
No, sir. We do not, because
we are also the Blue Team, sir.
638
00:50:36,552 --> 00:50:38,031
Identify yourself, soldier!
639
00:50:38,272 --> 00:50:40,581
Sir, Private Benjamin, sir!
640
00:50:53,552 --> 00:50:54,826
At ease!
641
00:50:55,072 --> 00:50:56,903
Which one of you is Private Benjamin?
642
00:50:57,152 --> 00:50:58,267
Sir, I am, sir.
643
00:51:00,072 --> 00:51:02,188
- Outstanding!
- Thank you, sir!
644
00:51:02,432 --> 00:51:05,344
Here's the rest of the squad.
Privates Glass, Gianelli...
645
00:51:05,592 --> 00:51:07,822
...Private Moe and Private Soyer, sir.
646
00:51:09,272 --> 00:51:11,024
Where is the Red Team Commander?
647
00:51:41,072 --> 00:51:43,745
Captain Lewis, you are lucky
to have troopers like this!
648
00:51:44,072 --> 00:51:45,346
Congratulations!
649
00:51:45,792 --> 00:51:48,750
Next time don't be so quick
to raise the white flag.
650
00:51:49,472 --> 00:51:51,781
- Yes, sir.
- The war games are concluded.
651
00:51:52,032 --> 00:51:55,149
Troops are dismissed.
I will see you tomorrow at graduation.
652
00:52:01,592 --> 00:52:03,867
- Yes, sir!
- Can I offer your team a lift?
653
00:52:19,912 --> 00:52:24,110
Meet two of our Thornbirds!
Lieutenant Gomez and Sergeant Gates.
654
00:52:26,792 --> 00:52:29,590
Fabulous uniforms!
What's a Thornbird, sir?
655
00:52:29,832 --> 00:52:34,223
An elite airborne corp. We recruit
them from the best bases in the country.
656
00:52:34,832 --> 00:52:37,471
I'm damn proud of them,
like I'm proud of you girls.
657
00:52:37,712 --> 00:52:39,748
It's a hell of a job you did today!
658
00:52:41,072 --> 00:52:42,471
Where do you hail from?
659
00:52:43,632 --> 00:52:45,270
Philadelphia, sir.
660
00:52:46,592 --> 00:52:50,426
It's the seat of our democracy!
Thornie Two is from Philadelphia.
661
00:52:50,832 --> 00:52:51,821
Thornie Two, sir?
662
00:52:52,232 --> 00:52:53,426
My wife.
663
00:52:54,232 --> 00:52:57,269
After 20 years watching us crazy guys
jump out of airplanes...
664
00:52:57,632 --> 00:53:00,305
...she decided she wanted to try it.
Remember, Ed?
665
00:53:01,392 --> 00:53:03,428
We took her up,
almost had to shove her out!
666
00:53:03,832 --> 00:53:05,902
She had a good time,
but she landed wrong.
667
00:53:06,272 --> 00:53:09,947
Broke her arm in 3 places. Lucky
we didn't have to shoot her, right?
668
00:53:11,312 --> 00:53:12,586
We're approaching, sir.
669
00:53:12,952 --> 00:53:15,307
I'll take her down.
You trust me, don't you?
670
00:53:15,552 --> 00:53:16,587
Oh, yes, sir!
671
00:53:16,952 --> 00:53:19,512
Then let's do it to it!
672
00:53:20,112 --> 00:53:24,105
- Tell your men to hang on, Benjamin!
- Hang on, men.
673
00:54:30,312 --> 00:54:32,303
Whoop-de-do!
674
00:54:34,832 --> 00:54:37,790
Inspection, ladies!
675
00:54:50,712 --> 00:54:52,350
Lady Luck!
676
00:54:57,072 --> 00:54:59,745
Don't you look at me
with those baby blues.
677
00:55:01,552 --> 00:55:04,112
I'm not the great Thornie.
678
00:55:06,792 --> 00:55:11,422
You finally succeeded in making
a fool out of me, didn't you?
679
00:55:13,112 --> 00:55:14,465
Ma'am. Yes, ma'am.
680
00:55:14,912 --> 00:55:18,382
I've got a reward for you,
my little hero.
681
00:55:19,632 --> 00:55:23,147
You're all going to scour
every inch of this rat's nest!
682
00:55:23,952 --> 00:55:25,704
Inside and out.
683
00:55:27,672 --> 00:55:30,709
I mean the bed frames,
the window ledges...
684
00:55:30,952 --> 00:55:32,943
...the linoleum...
685
00:55:34,752 --> 00:55:36,390
...the toilet seats.
686
00:55:38,472 --> 00:55:40,064
You understand me?
687
00:55:40,512 --> 00:55:42,503
Ma'am. Yes, ma'am.
688
00:55:43,232 --> 00:55:44,551
I can't hear you.
689
00:55:46,712 --> 00:55:48,907
I can't hear you!
690
00:55:57,392 --> 00:55:58,541
Thank you.
691
00:56:02,312 --> 00:56:05,110
It breaks my little old heart...
692
00:56:05,352 --> 00:56:07,547
...to have to bust up
our winning team...
693
00:56:07,792 --> 00:56:10,670
...but I have been assigned
to a new post.
694
00:56:10,912 --> 00:56:12,504
A good post!
695
00:56:13,952 --> 00:56:16,591
Let's not keep in touch, shall we!
696
00:56:57,152 --> 00:56:59,586
Busted up, the whole team.
697
00:56:59,832 --> 00:57:01,265
Busted up.
698
00:57:02,552 --> 00:57:05,225
I have been assigned to a new post.
699
00:57:11,952 --> 00:57:13,067
Come on.
700
00:57:50,312 --> 00:57:51,745
Good post!
701
00:58:21,752 --> 00:58:23,151
That was nice.
702
00:58:24,312 --> 00:58:26,428
Keep in touch, shall we?
703
00:59:44,952 --> 00:59:46,021
At ease!
704
00:59:50,032 --> 00:59:51,750
Didn't think you'd make it, did you?
705
00:59:53,952 --> 00:59:56,750
You will no longer
be known as trainees.
706
00:59:59,072 --> 01:00:01,427
You have earned the right
to call yourselves...
707
01:00:01,712 --> 01:00:04,784
...United States soldiers,
and I'm proud of each of you.
708
01:00:07,352 --> 01:00:08,990
On Monday you will receive...
709
01:00:09,232 --> 01:00:12,110
...your advanced individual
training assignments.
710
01:00:12,712 --> 01:00:13,781
Each of you...
711
01:00:20,512 --> 01:00:21,547
...will be given...
712
01:00:22,072 --> 01:00:24,586
...a special responsibility
which will play...
713
01:00:24,832 --> 01:00:27,790
...a key role in the
defense of the free world.
714
01:00:28,112 --> 01:00:30,262
My heartfelt congratulations
and best wishes.
715
01:00:32,632 --> 01:00:34,224
I almost forgot.
716
01:00:36,352 --> 01:00:38,820
Dismissed till 0800 Monday morning.
Have a good one!
717
01:01:06,312 --> 01:01:07,142
Evening, ladies.
718
01:01:07,392 --> 01:01:08,871
We're not interested.
719
01:01:09,112 --> 01:01:10,864
Sorry.
720
01:01:12,312 --> 01:01:14,064
All right, I'm uptight, okay?
721
01:01:14,312 --> 01:01:17,588
Get yourself a drink,
we're going to cruise.
722
01:01:45,152 --> 01:01:48,383
Judy Benjamin, this is Johnny Rourke.
723
01:01:48,632 --> 01:01:50,907
And Kim... I forget your last name.
724
01:01:51,152 --> 01:01:52,221
Osaka.
725
01:01:53,552 --> 01:01:56,191
Come on, sweetheart, let's go.
726
01:01:59,112 --> 01:02:01,262
What's happening, Judy?
727
01:02:03,872 --> 01:02:05,100
Bourbon, no ice.
728
01:02:07,192 --> 01:02:09,342
I'm with Olivetti of Tokyo.
729
01:02:09,592 --> 01:02:11,947
Johnny is my southeastern
U.S. Sales manager.
730
01:02:12,192 --> 01:02:14,865
He always shows me a hip time.
731
01:02:18,872 --> 01:02:20,464
What time is it?
732
01:02:22,792 --> 01:02:24,669
I just took your picture, mama!
733
01:02:26,792 --> 01:02:28,703
Very hip.
734
01:02:29,112 --> 01:02:31,785
Look, I've got to go back to the base.
735
01:02:32,032 --> 01:02:34,387
Where's the fire? Come on.
736
01:02:35,032 --> 01:02:37,705
This could be a big night for you.
737
01:02:39,232 --> 01:02:40,870
Sincerely.
738
01:02:43,032 --> 01:02:44,624
Liz?
739
01:02:45,112 --> 01:02:46,465
- How are you?
- God, I'm fine.
740
01:02:46,712 --> 01:02:48,907
I can't believe this!
741
01:02:49,872 --> 01:02:53,228
Listen, thanks,
but I don't need the loan.
742
01:02:53,472 --> 01:02:55,110
What are you doing in New Orleans?
743
01:02:55,352 --> 01:02:57,866
My dad's here on a medical
conference and we all came.
744
01:02:58,112 --> 01:02:59,670
Come and see them, they'll die!
745
01:02:59,912 --> 01:03:02,301
Wait a minute.
Who is that with your parents?
746
01:03:03,872 --> 01:03:07,626
A French gynecologist. He and Dad
spoke on the Lamaze panel together.
747
01:03:08,072 --> 01:03:10,028
- Isn't he totally gorgeous?
- Totally.
748
01:03:10,272 --> 01:03:12,467
If it weren't for Jeffrey,
I'd go for him myself.
749
01:03:12,712 --> 01:03:14,543
Look who I found!
750
01:03:16,272 --> 01:03:18,183
My God, how are you, darling?
751
01:03:18,432 --> 01:03:22,141
Kid, you look wonderful!
Please give me a hug.
752
01:03:25,912 --> 01:03:27,231
Sit down.
753
01:03:29,992 --> 01:03:32,267
- Henri Tremont.
- Benjamin, Judy.
754
01:03:32,512 --> 01:03:35,151
Will you you look at this?
GI Judy!
755
01:03:35,392 --> 01:03:37,269
We'll call your parents.
756
01:03:37,512 --> 01:03:39,389
They'll be so thrilled we saw you.
757
01:03:39,632 --> 01:03:42,021
Your mother's coming along very nicely.
758
01:03:42,312 --> 01:03:44,109
She gained back some of the weight.
759
01:03:45,592 --> 01:03:46,581
Champagne?
760
01:03:46,872 --> 01:03:48,100
I'd love some, thank you.
761
01:03:48,352 --> 01:03:49,671
Since Yale's fu...
762
01:03:51,032 --> 01:03:54,661
By the way, I can't get over you
in this Army outfit.
763
01:03:54,912 --> 01:03:57,506
She didn't swim because
she didn't want her hair wet.
764
01:03:57,752 --> 01:03:58,901
This is true.
765
01:03:59,152 --> 01:04:00,471
What it's like to be a WAC?
766
01:04:00,752 --> 01:04:03,220
- I'm not a WAC.
- How often do you talk to your folks?
767
01:04:03,472 --> 01:04:06,111
Tell Henri how long
we've known your parents.
768
01:04:06,392 --> 01:04:08,906
Shall I make a long story short?
769
01:04:09,712 --> 01:04:11,350
Leo and I and Judy's parents...
770
01:04:11,592 --> 01:04:15,631
...double-dated in Atlantic City,
before even any one of us was married.
771
01:04:15,872 --> 01:04:18,989
It wasn't Atlantic City.
It was Asbury Park, but it's all right.
772
01:04:19,232 --> 01:04:22,508
I've never been to
Asbury Park in my life.
773
01:04:25,312 --> 01:04:26,381
Would you like to dance?
774
01:04:26,872 --> 01:04:28,510
I'd love to dance.
775
01:04:41,832 --> 01:04:43,424
The Lemishes are terrific people...
776
01:04:43,672 --> 01:04:47,062
...but 4 hours of making long stories
short was driving me crazy.
777
01:04:47,312 --> 01:04:50,031
4 hours? Try 28 years.
778
01:04:53,832 --> 01:04:56,505
I've never danced with a soldier before.
779
01:04:56,752 --> 01:04:59,505
I've never danced as a soldier before.
780
01:05:02,392 --> 01:05:04,508
- I kind of like it.
- So do I.
781
01:05:09,992 --> 01:05:12,142
Do you have a boyfriend in this Army?
782
01:05:12,392 --> 01:05:13,586
No.
783
01:05:15,592 --> 01:05:17,469
Don't you get lonely?
784
01:05:18,472 --> 01:05:22,067
- How'd you get to speak English so well?
- Baltimore.
785
01:05:22,312 --> 01:05:25,224
- Maryland?
- I went to med school at Johns Hopkins.
786
01:05:43,232 --> 01:05:46,827
I just can't believe
that you're in this Army.
787
01:05:49,432 --> 01:05:51,741
If I knew you better,
I'd show you my dog tags.
788
01:05:53,392 --> 01:05:54,507
How much better?
789
01:06:13,952 --> 01:06:15,829
Let's go to my room.
790
01:06:20,792 --> 01:06:23,147
I'm really attracted to you.
791
01:06:24,112 --> 01:06:28,344
But I'm not ready to make love to a
man I just met an hour and a half ago.
792
01:06:29,192 --> 01:06:30,830
I'm sorry.
793
01:06:31,232 --> 01:06:33,268
That's just the way I am.
794
01:06:34,952 --> 01:06:39,389
Usually, by the time I kiss a guy, I
already know his mother's maiden name.
795
01:06:41,992 --> 01:06:43,664
I wish I knew you better.
796
01:06:44,232 --> 01:06:45,904
I'm thirty-four...
797
01:06:46,192 --> 01:06:49,104
...and I live alone in Neuilly,
on the outskirts of Paris.
798
01:06:50,432 --> 01:06:52,821
I'm the only child...
799
01:06:53,312 --> 01:06:55,542
...and my father is also a doctor.
800
01:06:56,792 --> 01:06:58,020
What else?
801
01:06:59,192 --> 01:07:01,581
When I'm not working I play soccer.
802
01:07:03,232 --> 01:07:05,143
Let's see...
803
01:07:06,272 --> 01:07:07,785
I'm Jewish.
804
01:07:30,392 --> 01:07:33,782
Now I know what I've been
faking all these years.
805
01:07:43,352 --> 01:07:44,785
That was your first?
806
01:07:46,712 --> 01:07:48,270
And second.
807
01:08:00,312 --> 01:08:01,791
Where are you going?
808
01:08:02,032 --> 01:08:05,104
- Just to get a sip of champagne.
- I want to go with you.
809
01:08:19,472 --> 01:08:20,905
I'm sorry.
810
01:08:24,952 --> 01:08:26,180
No I'm not.
811
01:08:29,392 --> 01:08:30,745
What?
812
01:08:32,112 --> 01:08:33,750
Private Benjamin.
813
01:08:36,632 --> 01:08:38,987
Meeting you tonight was...
814
01:08:42,112 --> 01:08:44,262
It was just what I needed.
815
01:08:53,912 --> 01:08:55,948
What you needed?
816
01:09:03,832 --> 01:09:05,504
If you're ever in Paris...
817
01:09:06,632 --> 01:09:08,350
If you're ever in Biloxi.
818
01:09:12,872 --> 01:09:14,544
It was nice meeting you.
819
01:09:34,552 --> 01:09:35,621
What did you get?
820
01:09:35,872 --> 01:09:39,660
- MP School.
- You can put your violence to good use.
821
01:09:39,952 --> 01:09:42,102
- Smoke and flame specialist.
- What's that?
822
01:09:42,352 --> 01:09:43,262
A fireman.
823
01:09:43,512 --> 01:09:45,980
I got transferred to
Fort Ord, California.
824
01:09:46,232 --> 01:09:48,905
You got the yachts, honey!
You got the yachts!
825
01:09:49,472 --> 01:09:51,588
- What?
- OCS.
826
01:09:51,832 --> 01:09:53,424
Can you believe it?!
827
01:09:53,672 --> 01:09:58,268
- Honey, you're going to be an officer.
- There goes a beautiful friendship.
828
01:09:58,512 --> 01:09:59,388
What did you get?
829
01:09:59,672 --> 01:10:01,867
I don't know. I'm petrified.
830
01:10:02,232 --> 01:10:03,665
Excuse me!
831
01:10:04,032 --> 01:10:05,863
- Where's Benjamin?
- Right there.
832
01:10:06,832 --> 01:10:07,787
Thornbirds?
833
01:10:08,712 --> 01:10:09,906
Me?
834
01:10:10,392 --> 01:10:11,984
They don't have women Thornbirds.
835
01:10:12,232 --> 01:10:13,585
They do now.
836
01:10:18,592 --> 01:10:22,221
I was a skinny fighting lad
No more than seventeen
837
01:10:22,472 --> 01:10:26,385
The sorriest excuse for a man
That you have ever seen
838
01:10:26,632 --> 01:10:30,147
But now I am a Thornbird
And as proud as I can be
839
01:10:30,392 --> 01:10:34,271
Colonel Thornbush
Made a man out of me
840
01:10:38,992 --> 01:10:42,780
Glory, glory
I'll be falling through the sky
841
01:10:43,032 --> 01:10:46,741
Glory, glory
I am not afraid to die
842
01:10:46,992 --> 01:10:50,302
Glory, glory
I'm as proud as I can be
843
01:10:50,552 --> 01:10:54,465
Colonel Thornbush
Made a man out of me
844
01:11:46,672 --> 01:11:48,583
Good morning, sir.
845
01:11:48,832 --> 01:11:50,345
I'd like you to meet my wife.
846
01:11:51,232 --> 01:11:54,907
- Good to meet you, Mrs. Thornbush.
- Good to meet you, Miss Lady Thornbird.
847
01:11:55,152 --> 01:11:57,950
- I've heard a lot about you.
- Thank you.
848
01:11:58,272 --> 01:12:00,149
I guess this is the Thorndog.
849
01:12:00,472 --> 01:12:01,666
Shake, Scrabble!
850
01:12:03,672 --> 01:12:06,982
You must be nervous
about the big jump tomorrow.
851
01:12:07,232 --> 01:12:09,621
The Colonel says I can do it.
I guess I can.
852
01:12:09,872 --> 01:12:12,340
The Colonel's motto is,
"Life is a series...
853
01:12:12,592 --> 01:12:15,948
...of challenges to be
met and mastered."
854
01:12:16,232 --> 01:12:20,191
I hope you catch a cloud, Benjamin.
Not a feeling like it in the world.
855
01:12:20,632 --> 01:12:24,181
You're in a veil of white,
not a sound except your beating heart.
856
01:12:24,992 --> 01:12:26,550
It's godlike.
857
01:12:31,592 --> 01:12:34,550
You must be very special.
858
01:12:34,872 --> 01:12:36,908
The "Big T" is a
great judge of character.
859
01:12:37,152 --> 01:12:38,949
Stop gabbing and let this soldier...
860
01:12:39,192 --> 01:12:40,147
...get some chow.
861
01:12:40,392 --> 01:12:41,745
Goodbye, sir.
862
01:12:44,152 --> 01:12:47,144
I really appreciate
your confidence in me.
863
01:12:47,392 --> 01:12:49,189
I'm not going to let you down.
864
01:12:50,432 --> 01:12:53,026
See you at 13,000 feet, okay?
865
01:13:00,152 --> 01:13:01,983
Oy vey!
866
01:13:13,392 --> 01:13:15,303
Go with it!
Soar! You're a Thornbird!
867
01:13:17,472 --> 01:13:19,667
Come on, Benjamin,
let's go! All right?
868
01:13:24,752 --> 01:13:26,788
- You can do it! Trust me!
- I can't!
869
01:13:27,912 --> 01:13:30,028
I'm ashamed, but I'm afraid to die.
870
01:13:30,272 --> 01:13:33,423
- I'm afraid, Colonel. I'm not brave.
- Take it easy!
871
01:13:33,672 --> 01:13:34,900
I can't. I'm afraid...
872
01:13:35,152 --> 01:13:36,904
...my chute won't open.
873
01:13:37,152 --> 01:13:39,541
- Calm down, Benjamin!
- What if I fall upside down?
874
01:13:39,792 --> 01:13:42,989
- I could vomit in midair!
- Take it easy!
875
01:13:43,232 --> 01:13:46,986
I tried to be macho, but those guys
are better at being men than I am!
876
01:13:47,272 --> 01:13:49,183
Relax, Benjamin,
you don't have to jump!
877
01:13:49,752 --> 01:13:51,344
- I don't?
- No!
878
01:13:51,592 --> 01:13:53,662
Take it easy, girl! Shape up!
879
01:13:54,392 --> 01:13:55,666
You better?
880
01:13:56,112 --> 01:13:57,864
I feel better now.
881
01:13:58,112 --> 01:14:00,626
You don't have to jump.
882
01:14:00,992 --> 01:14:02,903
You're a good man.
883
01:14:03,192 --> 01:14:04,750
There are other ways you can serve.
884
01:14:10,992 --> 01:14:11,902
Happy, darling?
885
01:14:12,592 --> 01:14:14,583
- You want it!
- What are you doing?
886
01:14:14,832 --> 01:14:17,221
I can smell fear in any man
and passion in any woman!
887
01:14:17,472 --> 01:14:18,461
You want it!
888
01:14:20,312 --> 01:14:22,985
My God, this isn't happening to me!
889
01:14:24,112 --> 01:14:25,261
I'm going to take you.
890
01:14:25,592 --> 01:14:28,186
I'm not in the mood.
Suddenly I feel nauseous.
891
01:14:28,432 --> 01:14:30,024
Come to papa.
892
01:14:30,752 --> 01:14:33,744
I don't think so, sir,
but thanks anyway.
893
01:14:37,432 --> 01:14:39,821
My God! Open, please!
894
01:14:48,152 --> 01:14:49,267
At ease.
895
01:14:51,912 --> 01:14:53,743
I'm glad you're back in one piece.
896
01:14:55,232 --> 01:14:59,464
I apologize for yesterday's indiscretion.
An unforgivable breach of discipline.
897
01:15:00,152 --> 01:15:01,665
And taste, sir.
898
01:15:04,592 --> 01:15:06,867
I hope it hasn't soured you
on the military.
899
01:15:07,232 --> 01:15:09,871
The question is how long
you'll continue as a Thornbird.
900
01:15:10,112 --> 01:15:11,989
Hopefully not too long, sir.
901
01:15:14,032 --> 01:15:15,181
Understood.
902
01:15:15,432 --> 01:15:19,141
That's why I've put you on special
assignment, transferred to another post.
903
01:15:20,272 --> 01:15:22,467
A special assignment
on the ground, I hope.
904
01:15:23,312 --> 01:15:25,189
- A job in procurement.
- Procurement?
905
01:15:25,432 --> 01:15:28,390
That's purchasing. I've cut
your orders, you leave at 1500.
906
01:15:30,432 --> 01:15:31,501
Greenland?
907
01:15:31,752 --> 01:15:33,629
What, penguins? Forget it!
908
01:15:34,352 --> 01:15:35,421
Forget it!
909
01:15:36,552 --> 01:15:39,464
I was in the first wave of the Rangers
at Normandy on D-day.
910
01:15:39,712 --> 01:15:44,024
In 1952 I was standing with my troops
on the banks of the Yalu River, waiting.
911
01:15:44,272 --> 01:15:46,467
MacArthur phoned.
"Come home, Thornie...
912
01:15:46,792 --> 01:15:48,987
...it's not our year."
I am a good leader.
913
01:15:49,232 --> 01:15:51,143
No, I am a great leader!
914
01:15:51,592 --> 01:15:53,867
Your ass is going to
Greenland for a reason.
915
01:15:54,112 --> 01:15:58,628
I won't let you shoot your mouth off,
blemishing my record with innuendo.
916
01:15:58,952 --> 01:16:00,624
Innuendo? Try rape.
917
01:16:03,512 --> 01:16:04,342
How about Guam?
918
01:16:05,352 --> 01:16:06,751
My hair will frizz.
919
01:16:08,032 --> 01:16:08,862
Okinawa?
920
01:16:09,272 --> 01:16:12,184
Malaria? Pass.
921
01:16:12,832 --> 01:16:15,107
We have bases all over the world.
922
01:16:44,952 --> 01:16:47,546
Dear Glass, hello from Belgium.
923
01:16:47,792 --> 01:16:51,341
Sorry it's taken me so long to write,
but I've been very busy.
924
01:16:51,592 --> 01:16:53,344
S.H.A.P.E. Is an amazing place.
925
01:16:53,632 --> 01:16:56,351
The top military headquarters
in Europe.
926
01:16:56,592 --> 01:16:59,504
Definitely the most exciting duty
a soldier could pull.
927
01:16:59,752 --> 01:17:02,027
My M. O. S. Is Purchasing Specialist...
928
01:17:02,272 --> 01:17:04,991
...the one job I've
trained for all my life.
929
01:17:05,792 --> 01:17:07,464
My superior is a terrific guy...
930
01:17:08,232 --> 01:17:10,905
...a Turkish officer
named Lieutenant Rahmi.
931
01:17:11,152 --> 01:17:15,111
But the best one can say of his English
is that it's better than my Turkish.
932
01:17:16,032 --> 01:17:17,590
Benyameen, ka'.
933
01:17:18,872 --> 01:17:19,941
Sate.
934
01:17:21,352 --> 01:17:25,231
Benyameen, I need the inpoormation
on the drying caruses.
935
01:17:25,632 --> 01:17:26,587
Driving courses?
936
01:17:26,832 --> 01:17:28,948
Yes, sir. I'm working on that now.
937
01:17:29,192 --> 01:17:32,946
Excellent. I want you
to rye-eed it to the counsule.
938
01:17:33,752 --> 01:17:35,583
Me? Read it to the council?
939
01:17:36,032 --> 01:17:37,988
Do want me to rye-eed it?
940
01:17:41,632 --> 01:17:43,588
Private Benyameen... Benjamin!
941
01:17:43,832 --> 01:17:46,869
I got a charming apartment
through an ad in Stars and Stripes.
942
01:17:47,112 --> 01:17:50,422
It's right over a bakery,
has a hot plate, running water...
943
01:17:50,672 --> 01:17:52,549
...and all the croissants I can eat.
944
01:17:52,792 --> 01:17:55,431
It's not exactly Versailles,
but it's home.
945
01:17:55,672 --> 01:17:59,631
For the first time in months, I feel
that things are really going my way.
946
01:18:14,592 --> 01:18:17,311
I finally got the nerve
to pay Henri a surprise visit.
947
01:18:17,552 --> 01:18:21,261
I'll let you know how it turns out.
I hope he remembers me.
948
01:18:21,512 --> 01:18:25,710
My love to Moe and Gianelli.
Votre amie, Private B.
949
01:18:26,312 --> 01:18:29,349
Let's see... just got into town.
950
01:18:30,872 --> 01:18:34,581
And feeling kind of lonely.
No, don't say lonely.
951
01:18:34,832 --> 01:18:35,981
Oh, God!
952
01:19:01,352 --> 01:19:04,981
It's a great house, but don't be
impressed. It's a hand-me-down.
953
01:19:23,352 --> 01:19:24,910
- Morning.
- Nine o'clock?
954
01:19:25,152 --> 01:19:27,825
I haven't slept this late in 3 months.
955
01:19:33,152 --> 01:19:35,302
- Where are you going?
- Sunday soccer.
956
01:19:36,552 --> 01:19:37,871
Merde! I'm late.
957
01:19:38,152 --> 01:19:39,949
I have to go anyway.
958
01:19:40,232 --> 01:19:41,870
Don't be ridiculous, please!
959
01:19:42,112 --> 01:19:45,309
Stay. I want you to be here when
I get back at three o'clock.
960
01:19:45,552 --> 01:19:49,830
I'm going to make love to you,
and I'll take you to my favorite bistro.
961
01:19:50,592 --> 01:19:53,152
And we'll listen to
some nice Italian jazz.
962
01:19:54,472 --> 01:19:55,348
Max!
963
01:20:05,352 --> 01:20:07,343
Hello, baby!
964
01:20:09,592 --> 01:20:11,184
He's beautiful.
965
01:20:11,432 --> 01:20:12,421
Sit!
966
01:20:17,192 --> 01:20:18,830
The dog is deaf.
967
01:20:25,152 --> 01:20:27,347
Wait for me, please.
968
01:20:32,192 --> 01:20:34,148
I could get used to you.
969
01:20:55,912 --> 01:20:58,665
I paid 8,000 francs for this rug.
970
01:20:59,672 --> 01:21:03,870
I'm sorry. He gets nervous
around new people.
971
01:21:04,112 --> 01:21:05,864
He's not the only one.
972
01:21:10,112 --> 01:21:13,070
- I have to clean this up.
- You go play. I'll clean up.
973
01:21:13,312 --> 01:21:15,701
No, I'll clean it.
Go play.
974
01:21:27,352 --> 01:21:28,580
I adore you.
975
01:21:35,792 --> 01:21:40,343
There are two bids we recommend:
Sergio Devoto's Driving Academy...
976
01:21:40,672 --> 01:21:43,266
...which teaches evasive driving
to the chauffeurs...
977
01:21:43,512 --> 01:21:46,709
...of such dignitaries as
General Alexander Haig...
978
01:21:46,952 --> 01:21:50,501
...President Giscard d'Estaing,
Mick Jagger...
979
01:21:50,792 --> 01:21:53,022
Excuse me, Private Benjamin...
980
01:21:53,272 --> 01:21:56,264
...I'm afraid I missed
the security data on these drivers.
981
01:21:56,512 --> 01:21:58,980
The security data was
unavailable to me, sir.
982
01:21:59,632 --> 01:22:01,987
Who's here from security?
983
01:22:03,752 --> 01:22:04,582
I am, sir.
984
01:22:08,232 --> 01:22:10,792
That material is highly classified, sir.
985
01:22:11,032 --> 01:22:14,342
I am certain this soldier
is not cleared for that level.
986
01:22:14,592 --> 01:22:16,583
Then clear her, Captain.
987
01:22:18,192 --> 01:22:19,102
Is there a problem?
988
01:22:22,152 --> 01:22:23,028
No, sir.
989
01:22:23,272 --> 01:22:26,309
Then we'll expect a revised report
by the next council session.
990
01:22:26,552 --> 01:22:27,541
Gentlemen...
991
01:22:27,872 --> 01:22:28,861
...chow time.
992
01:22:33,152 --> 01:22:34,141
Good job.
993
01:22:53,192 --> 01:22:54,910
Behave yourself, Judy Benjamin...
994
01:22:55,152 --> 01:22:59,623
...or I'll drum your ass out of S.H.A.P.E.
So fast it'll make your head spin.
995
01:23:06,832 --> 01:23:08,390
Sorry, Helga.
996
01:23:08,672 --> 01:23:10,503
Who is your friend, Doreen?
997
01:23:10,752 --> 01:23:12,982
She's no fwiend... friend.
998
01:23:13,752 --> 01:23:15,868
Listen, the bags are packed.
999
01:23:20,952 --> 01:23:22,988
My ex-girlfriend, Claire, painted it.
1000
01:23:23,232 --> 01:23:26,861
- What's it supposed to be, death?
- No, it's a self-portrait.
1001
01:23:27,712 --> 01:23:29,703
How long ago did you and this...
1002
01:23:30,552 --> 01:23:32,270
...painter break up?
1003
01:23:33,032 --> 01:23:37,105
- 14 weeks ago, Monday.
- You're still counting it in weeks?
1004
01:23:38,872 --> 01:23:42,626
How come you broke up?
Or is that too personal?
1005
01:23:44,272 --> 01:23:45,830
Claire is a brilliant woman.
1006
01:23:46,072 --> 01:23:50,224
I even joined the Communist Party
for her for a week.
1007
01:23:50,872 --> 01:23:54,501
Not romantic though,
much too independent.
1008
01:23:58,192 --> 01:24:00,308
Do you know a lot of tortured artists?
1009
01:24:00,872 --> 01:24:03,067
Only tortured lawyers.
1010
01:24:04,432 --> 01:24:06,662
Your first husband was a lawyer?
1011
01:24:06,912 --> 01:24:10,188
No, Rick was a tennis pro
at the El San Juan.
1012
01:24:10,672 --> 01:24:14,347
My therapist said that I had
a neurotic need to find a father figure.
1013
01:24:14,592 --> 01:24:18,346
And he had a neurotic need to find
a father-in-law who had a lot of money.
1014
01:24:27,592 --> 01:24:32,268
You know, I've been married to men
I haven't felt this comfortable with.
1015
01:25:42,952 --> 01:25:46,342
What's the story with you
and this Tremont character?
1016
01:25:47,192 --> 01:25:48,910
Why are you spying on me?
1017
01:26:01,632 --> 01:26:05,227
- Your lover-boy's a Red!
- Don't be ridiculous!
1018
01:26:05,472 --> 01:26:08,305
He was a Red for about five seconds.
1019
01:26:08,552 --> 01:26:10,349
Because of a woman he used to date.
1020
01:26:10,792 --> 01:26:14,671
Nobody stops being a Communist.
It's a terminal disease.
1021
01:26:14,912 --> 01:26:18,541
And I am not going to sit around
with my thumb up my ass...
1022
01:26:18,792 --> 01:26:21,181
...while you divulge
classified information...
1023
01:26:21,432 --> 01:26:23,582
...during the throes of passion.
1024
01:26:23,832 --> 01:26:26,949
Please! I can barely speak
during the throes of passion.
1025
01:26:27,352 --> 01:26:30,549
Believe me, Henri Tremont is
as much a Communist as me.
1026
01:26:30,912 --> 01:26:31,981
Or you!
1027
01:26:33,512 --> 01:26:36,663
If Patton were alive,
he would slap your face.
1028
01:26:39,912 --> 01:26:41,106
As you were.
1029
01:26:45,512 --> 01:26:46,831
Captain Lewis.
1030
01:26:48,872 --> 01:26:52,387
Private Benjamin has made herself
vulnerable to a Red, sir.
1031
01:26:52,632 --> 01:26:53,781
I read the report.
1032
01:26:54,032 --> 01:26:54,987
It's not true, sir.
1033
01:26:55,232 --> 01:26:59,510
We're not blind to the fact
that half of Europe is Communistic.
1034
01:27:00,632 --> 01:27:02,862
But here at S.H.A.P.E.
They're still the enemy.
1035
01:27:03,552 --> 01:27:05,110
General Foley, Henri Tremont...
1036
01:27:05,352 --> 01:27:08,628
...is not a Communist.
He's a gynecologist.
1037
01:27:09,632 --> 01:27:11,862
Captain Lewis is hung up
on a technicality.
1038
01:27:12,192 --> 01:27:16,310
I'm sorry, but it's against regulations
for you to associate with this man.
1039
01:27:17,272 --> 01:27:19,547
You're up for a promotion.
1040
01:27:19,792 --> 01:27:22,943
I'd hate to see this incident
jeopardize your career.
1041
01:27:24,112 --> 01:27:26,068
What are you trying to tell me, sir?
1042
01:27:27,632 --> 01:27:29,270
It's either him...
1043
01:27:29,552 --> 01:27:30,541
...or us.
1044
01:27:54,832 --> 01:27:56,868
- Can't you hear?
- Can't you move?
1045
01:28:03,112 --> 01:28:04,511
It's Judy.
1046
01:28:04,752 --> 01:28:05,707
Judy who?
1047
01:28:06,552 --> 01:28:08,782
Darling, how are you?
1048
01:28:10,072 --> 01:28:10,902
What?
1049
01:28:17,192 --> 01:28:18,750
She's getting married.
1050
01:28:34,272 --> 01:28:37,423
Monsieur Shiffman!
Thank God!
1051
01:28:42,672 --> 01:28:45,140
Listen, the tablecloths...
1052
01:28:49,352 --> 01:28:53,231
...they're terrible.
The color, la couleur, is all wrong.
1053
01:28:56,512 --> 01:28:59,584
The wedding is in yellow...
1054
01:29:00,152 --> 01:29:02,347
...and butterscotch.
1055
01:29:03,432 --> 01:29:06,265
And right now I'm looking at
something entre...
1056
01:29:06,512 --> 01:29:09,106
...canari et banane.
1057
01:29:09,512 --> 01:29:10,388
Gabby!
1058
01:29:12,712 --> 01:29:13,861
Pardon, Madame!
1059
01:29:14,912 --> 01:29:17,346
I get the Hoover.
1060
01:29:22,312 --> 01:29:24,906
Was she a good maid
before she met me?
1061
01:29:26,872 --> 01:29:29,784
Is it smart to fire the maid
just before the wedding?
1062
01:29:30,232 --> 01:29:32,268
Especially with your parents coming.
1063
01:29:32,632 --> 01:29:35,988
Okay, she stays until after the wedding.
1064
01:29:38,272 --> 01:29:40,228
You look very beautiful today.
1065
01:29:41,272 --> 01:29:42,591
So do you.
1066
01:29:43,312 --> 01:29:45,462
What did your friends say
when they called?
1067
01:29:45,712 --> 01:29:48,431
They're coming over on
Army Transport next week.
1068
01:29:48,672 --> 01:29:51,470
I can't wait to see them.
It's going to be so much fun.
1069
01:29:51,712 --> 01:29:53,987
And Glass is learning French!
1070
01:30:02,872 --> 01:30:04,703
Honey, who was that?
1071
01:30:06,312 --> 01:30:08,143
It was Claire.
1072
01:30:11,712 --> 01:30:12,940
Claire?
1073
01:30:25,112 --> 01:30:27,148
Get over this obsession with Claire.
1074
01:30:27,472 --> 01:30:29,508
You stood with your tongue hanging out.
1075
01:30:29,832 --> 01:30:31,550
I was surprised to see her.
1076
01:30:31,792 --> 01:30:34,864
Surprised?
I'd call it catatonic.
1077
01:30:35,112 --> 01:30:38,707
You don't see me getting hung up on your
old boyfriends and husbands.
1078
01:30:38,952 --> 01:30:40,305
Do you?
1079
01:30:42,072 --> 01:30:43,471
Listen to me.
1080
01:30:43,752 --> 01:30:44,787
Come here.
1081
01:30:46,992 --> 01:30:47,868
I love you.
1082
01:30:48,472 --> 01:30:50,463
We're getting married in a week.
1083
01:30:57,952 --> 01:30:59,544
I want to have a baby with you.
1084
01:31:02,192 --> 01:31:03,261
You do?
1085
01:31:04,912 --> 01:31:06,584
Oh, honey!
1086
01:31:07,792 --> 01:31:09,350
I'd love to have a baby.
1087
01:31:10,792 --> 01:31:12,430
I thought I was getting too old.
1088
01:31:16,432 --> 01:31:18,070
A baby!
1089
01:31:21,352 --> 01:31:24,230
- I want us to be together always.
- We will!
1090
01:31:30,512 --> 01:31:32,468
It's the reality of things sometimes...
1091
01:31:32,712 --> 01:31:36,421
...they don't always work out
exactly as they are planned, so...
1092
01:31:37,672 --> 01:31:39,185
What are you saying?
1093
01:31:41,992 --> 01:31:44,062
- I want you to sign this.
- What is it?
1094
01:31:44,312 --> 01:31:46,189
Contrat de mariage.
1095
01:31:47,152 --> 01:31:49,791
A letter of financial agreement.
1096
01:31:50,432 --> 01:31:54,710
God forbid something should happen
to us. It just helps us stay friends.
1097
01:31:56,392 --> 01:31:58,747
I want to be your wife, not your friend.
1098
01:31:59,032 --> 01:32:02,820
It's fair. I allocated for myself
what was mine before our marriage.
1099
01:32:03,392 --> 01:32:05,462
You cannot expect me to give you...
1100
01:32:05,712 --> 01:32:09,546
...half of a house that's been
in my family for centuries.
1101
01:32:13,272 --> 01:32:16,548
We don't need this kind of thing
between us. We'll make it.
1102
01:32:17,472 --> 01:32:19,349
I can't get married without it.
1103
01:32:28,992 --> 01:32:30,823
It's in French.
1104
01:32:31,072 --> 01:32:32,471
Please.
1105
01:32:50,352 --> 01:32:52,422
Private Benjamin?
1106
01:32:52,672 --> 01:32:55,027
Did I write that? I'm sorry.
1107
01:32:55,272 --> 01:32:56,864
I'll just cross it out.
1108
01:33:01,912 --> 01:33:03,550
Initial it.
1109
01:33:17,272 --> 01:33:19,627
Where shall we go tonight?
Regine's?
1110
01:33:34,352 --> 01:33:37,822
Took Henri's car to the shop.
Made Henri's hair appointment.
1111
01:33:38,072 --> 01:33:39,869
Took Max to the vet.
1112
01:33:40,112 --> 01:33:42,467
Picked up Henri's soccer uniform.
1113
01:33:48,992 --> 01:33:52,223
You've got to remember that
I used to be a very active person.
1114
01:33:52,472 --> 01:33:54,622
I was jumping out of airplanes...
1115
01:33:54,872 --> 01:33:57,830
...and at S.H.A.P.E. It was
like nonstop chaos.
1116
01:33:58,072 --> 01:34:00,347
You're not thinking about
opening a store?
1117
01:34:00,592 --> 01:34:02,423
No, you were right about that.
1118
01:34:02,672 --> 01:34:06,062
It would've been too much
of a hassle to do. It was a bad idea.
1119
01:34:06,312 --> 01:34:09,861
But there have to be other choices.
1120
01:34:10,112 --> 01:34:12,421
Do you know what I did today?
1121
01:34:13,592 --> 01:34:15,583
I rearranged my closet.
1122
01:34:15,832 --> 01:34:17,185
For three hours.
1123
01:34:17,432 --> 01:34:20,583
There's definitely something wrong
with that, isn't there?
1124
01:34:22,552 --> 01:34:24,907
- Am I making sense?
- No.
1125
01:34:25,792 --> 01:34:27,544
And that's what I love about you.
1126
01:34:30,752 --> 01:34:33,107
This is the color of hair
I was talking about.
1127
01:34:34,712 --> 01:34:36,703
I don't know. Maybe.
1128
01:34:38,672 --> 01:34:39,991
I love it.
1129
01:35:06,672 --> 01:35:08,708
Rita Hayworth, I swear to God!
1130
01:35:08,952 --> 01:35:11,864
- I wouldn't have recognized you.
- You look stunning!
1131
01:35:12,112 --> 01:35:15,388
Turn around, let me see the outfit.
Oh God, doll! Gorgeous!
1132
01:35:15,632 --> 01:35:17,065
It's an absolute vision.
1133
01:35:17,312 --> 01:35:19,348
Her hair is the worst!
1134
01:35:19,592 --> 01:35:23,631
To see you looking like your
old self again, you have no idea!
1135
01:35:23,872 --> 01:35:25,669
Who knows what we'd do
in her place.
1136
01:35:26,752 --> 01:35:29,505
The important thing is,
Judy's Judy again.
1137
01:35:29,752 --> 01:35:34,143
- Truthfully, you don't miss the Army?
- What's to miss? $400 a month?
1138
01:35:34,392 --> 01:35:37,270
The only good thing about it
was that what's-her-name.
1139
01:35:37,512 --> 01:35:38,831
Captain Lewis?
1140
01:35:39,392 --> 01:35:42,543
I hope her coat's good enough.
I had no idea it'd be so chilly.
1141
01:35:42,792 --> 01:35:47,422
- It's November here, Kissy.
- It's November everywhere, genius!
1142
01:35:55,952 --> 01:35:57,101
Sit!
1143
01:35:58,672 --> 01:36:00,822
I was talking to Max.
1144
01:36:03,232 --> 01:36:05,223
It's good to see you up.
1145
01:36:06,472 --> 01:36:08,588
Excuse me for interrupting.
1146
01:36:09,632 --> 01:36:11,224
Does this belong to anyone?
1147
01:36:11,472 --> 01:36:14,111
Because I'm positive it isn't mine.
1148
01:36:14,352 --> 01:36:16,104
Oui, Madame.
Where did you find it?
1149
01:36:16,352 --> 01:36:17,865
Where you left eet!
1150
01:36:18,192 --> 01:36:20,911
May I ask what you were doing
in my bed?!
1151
01:36:21,152 --> 01:36:23,746
I was not in your bed, madame.
I make your bed.
1152
01:36:25,272 --> 01:36:26,751
It must have fallen.
1153
01:36:27,832 --> 01:36:28,742
What are you doing?
1154
01:36:28,992 --> 01:36:31,790
I would like to know how
this item got into my bed.
1155
01:36:36,072 --> 01:36:39,587
This is too much!
Judy, give Gabrielle back the cross.
1156
01:36:46,432 --> 01:36:48,821
What should I think?
She's the world's worst maid!
1157
01:36:49,072 --> 01:36:50,664
Enough! Please!
1158
01:36:54,232 --> 01:36:58,464
What's gotten into you lately? It's like
I live with the kid from the Exorcist!
1159
01:36:59,632 --> 01:37:01,987
Two weeks ago I was like a god to you!
1160
01:37:02,272 --> 01:37:03,830
Now you show me no respect.
1161
01:37:04,512 --> 01:37:05,991
I respect you.
1162
01:37:06,312 --> 01:37:10,624
Accusing me of sleeping with Gabrielle!
You think I'm so low I'd seduce a child?
1163
01:37:13,352 --> 01:37:14,262
Do you?
1164
01:37:19,312 --> 01:37:21,462
Honey, I'm nervous.
1165
01:37:22,192 --> 01:37:24,262
I'm very nervous.
1166
01:37:24,512 --> 01:37:28,585
And I know that once we get married
everything is going to be fine.
1167
01:37:28,832 --> 01:37:30,424
I'm sorry.
1168
01:37:39,352 --> 01:37:42,947
I fly 6,000 miles to attend
my daughter's wedding...
1169
01:37:43,192 --> 01:37:44,989
...and the groom is playing soccer!
1170
01:37:45,232 --> 01:37:48,349
Daddy, he'll be here any minute.
He probably went into overtime.
1171
01:37:48,672 --> 01:37:50,822
Monsieur, my son is very reliable.
1172
01:37:51,072 --> 01:37:53,825
- He will be here shortly.
- It just isn't right!
1173
01:37:58,872 --> 01:38:00,351
Jean-Paul!
1174
01:38:05,112 --> 01:38:06,511
Where is Henri?
1175
01:38:07,152 --> 01:38:09,985
The bum never showed up
for the game. Isn't he here?
1176
01:38:11,112 --> 01:38:12,181
No.
1177
01:38:12,512 --> 01:38:13,547
He never showed up?
1178
01:38:16,872 --> 01:38:20,103
Judy, don't hate me
for saying this or nothing...
1179
01:38:20,352 --> 01:38:24,504
...but you really might be better-off.
1180
01:38:24,752 --> 01:38:26,583
Don't be ridiculous!
1181
01:38:28,272 --> 01:38:32,743
I don't know how to say this, but you
were starting to act a bit weird again.
1182
01:38:32,992 --> 01:38:35,062
What am I going to do?
I'm a wreck.
1183
01:38:35,792 --> 01:38:37,111
He's back!
1184
01:38:41,792 --> 01:38:43,305
You look perfect.
1185
01:38:43,552 --> 01:38:45,110
- Where were you?
- I'm fine.
1186
01:38:45,352 --> 01:38:48,025
No, where were you?
I was so scared.
1187
01:38:48,272 --> 01:38:51,469
- You don't want to know this.
- I do want to know.
1188
01:38:53,992 --> 01:38:55,789
I had to see Claire.
1189
01:38:58,432 --> 01:38:59,387
You were with Claire?
1190
01:38:59,632 --> 01:39:03,227
She is in so much trouble.
You've no idea what I've been through.
1191
01:39:03,472 --> 01:39:07,226
There are 75 people waiting for you.
Couldn't you have phoned?
1192
01:39:07,472 --> 01:39:10,942
- Don't bad French artists have phones?
- She was overwrought.
1193
01:39:11,272 --> 01:39:15,151
Her boyfriend beat her up.
I prescribed a sedative for her to sleep.
1194
01:39:15,392 --> 01:39:17,826
That takes 2 minutes,
you were gone 4 hours.
1195
01:39:18,072 --> 01:39:20,586
The place was a mess.
I hung up clothes and did dishes.
1196
01:39:20,832 --> 01:39:22,948
You did Claire's dishes?
1197
01:39:24,752 --> 01:39:27,425
Shall I stop being nice to people
because we're marrying?
1198
01:39:27,952 --> 01:39:31,103
I just don't understand
how you could be with Claire...
1199
01:39:31,552 --> 01:39:32,382
...today.
1200
01:39:32,632 --> 01:39:35,100
You want to walk down the aisle
with me or not?
1201
01:41:09,392 --> 01:41:11,701
Not so fast.
1202
01:41:13,912 --> 01:41:17,666
I know this is a very
awkward time to do this...
1203
01:41:18,832 --> 01:41:20,106
...but I want to break up.
1204
01:41:20,392 --> 01:41:22,064
She's crazy again.
1205
01:41:22,792 --> 01:41:23,941
Listen to me.
1206
01:41:24,232 --> 01:41:28,748
You're having an anxiety attack.
I'll give you a shot to calm down.
1207
01:41:28,992 --> 01:41:31,984
No, I want to be perfectly conscious
when I call a cab.
1208
01:41:32,232 --> 01:41:35,622
What are you doing to me?
What is this about? Gabrielle?
1209
01:41:36,312 --> 01:41:38,906
I slept with her one night
when you were acting crazy.
1210
01:41:40,192 --> 01:41:42,547
We'll fire her after the wedding.
1211
01:41:45,952 --> 01:41:47,305
You're such a schmuck!
1212
01:41:49,592 --> 01:41:50,422
Daddy...
1213
01:41:50,672 --> 01:41:52,822
...Mom just fainted.
1214
01:41:54,192 --> 01:41:55,511
Schmuck?!
1215
01:41:56,592 --> 01:41:58,947
When I met you,
you were in the Army.
1216
01:41:59,312 --> 01:42:01,621
You were nothing,
picking up strangers in bars!
1217
01:42:01,872 --> 01:42:03,942
- Now just a minute!
- She was.
1218
01:42:04,432 --> 01:42:07,902
I'll give you a future, a home, a name.
For once don't be stupid!
1219
01:42:09,232 --> 01:42:10,585
- There's Claire.
- Where?
1220
01:42:17,392 --> 01:42:18,427
Don't call me stupid.
1221
01:42:19,305 --> 01:42:25,669
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