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1
00:00:16,618 --> 00:00:21,618
Subtitles by explosiveskull
2
00:00:31,473 --> 00:00:33,473
Dr Schwiman
was so right.
3
00:00:33,475 --> 00:00:34,939
Isn't this romantic?
4
00:00:36,308 --> 00:00:40,040
This bike weigh's
as much as a dead cow.
5
00:00:40,042 --> 00:00:41,909
Who designed
these bikes, Hitler?
6
00:00:42,475 --> 00:00:43,475
My God!
7
00:00:44,807 --> 00:00:46,339
They use these
in the Tour de France?
8
00:00:46,341 --> 00:00:48,373
Well, everything is old here,
it's part of the charm.
9
00:00:48,375 --> 00:00:49,876
Mine's broken I think.
10
00:00:54,107 --> 00:00:55,372
And I think it's going
to rain.
11
00:00:55,374 --> 00:00:56,939
Why do you have to be
so pessimistic?
12
00:00:56,941 --> 00:00:58,641
I'm not pessimistic.
13
00:00:59,742 --> 00:01:01,372
I'm realistic.
14
00:01:01,374 --> 00:01:03,206
Exact same thing for you.
15
00:01:03,208 --> 00:01:05,372
Where are we?
What arrondissement is this?
16
00:01:05,374 --> 00:01:07,640
Why don't you ride next to me
instead of behind me because
17
00:01:07,642 --> 00:01:09,040
I may as well be
riding alone.
18
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,207
Suit yourself.
I'm tired anyway.
19
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:15,408
Suit yourself.
20
00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:19,442
Ole!
21
00:03:35,807 --> 00:03:37,139
Is my husband here?
22
00:03:37,141 --> 00:03:38,538
No, madam.
23
00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:40,038
We were worrying
about you.
24
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,106
No, no harm done.
What about Jacques?
25
00:03:42,108 --> 00:03:43,642
Ready and waiting!
26
00:03:44,707 --> 00:03:46,006
Brace yourself, pal.
27
00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:49,206
Look at that. Madam,
I'm doubling my fee.
28
00:03:56,374 --> 00:03:59,071
The security man
out there, didn't let me in.
29
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:01,406
Of course not. We have the
Lord Mayor of London coming.
30
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,971
Really? Sexy!
Can I say hello?
31
00:04:04,973 --> 00:04:07,406
- Well, he's coming with his husband.
- Too bad.
32
00:04:07,408 --> 00:04:08,742
Today's mail, madam.
33
00:04:10,241 --> 00:04:11,809
And this came by messenger.
34
00:04:46,307 --> 00:04:48,472
I want some
chocolate milk.
35
00:04:48,474 --> 00:04:50,872
And I'll have a double vodka
on the rocks.
36
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,239
Steven!
37
00:04:52,241 --> 00:04:53,775
How are you,
silly monkeys?
38
00:04:54,475 --> 00:04:55,475
Sean.
39
00:04:56,641 --> 00:04:57,839
How are you, Maria?
40
00:04:57,841 --> 00:04:59,540
Mr. Stevens,
when did you get here?
41
00:04:59,542 --> 00:05:01,706
Just this afternoon.
42
00:05:01,708 --> 00:05:03,804
What's happening here? Is it
someone's birthday or something?
43
00:05:03,806 --> 00:05:04,972
Nothing like that.
44
00:05:04,974 --> 00:05:06,605
Just a small dinner
for twelve.
45
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:07,608
Ah...
46
00:05:10,108 --> 00:05:11,108
Thank you.
47
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:13,972
Come on Rose, you need
to eat something.
48
00:05:13,974 --> 00:05:15,272
No.
49
00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:17,305
Please Mr. Steven,
tell her.
50
00:05:17,307 --> 00:05:18,773
What are you doing,
Rose,
51
00:05:18,775 --> 00:05:20,406
starving yourself
like Mommy?
52
00:05:20,408 --> 00:05:21,575
Skinny Mommy, yes!
53
00:05:22,108 --> 00:05:23,871
Well, don't.
54
00:05:23,873 --> 00:05:25,374
No one likes
a human toothpick.
55
00:05:26,774 --> 00:05:28,040
I'm going to find our dad.
56
00:05:30,273 --> 00:05:33,875
Listen to your big brother and
finish those potatoes, please.
57
00:05:36,538 --> 00:05:37,538
Okay. Try that.
58
00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:40,353
Aren't you
going to miss it?
59
00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:43,039
Of course,
I'm going to miss it.
60
00:05:43,041 --> 00:05:45,207
This was your grandfather's
greatest acquisition.
61
00:05:46,108 --> 00:05:47,475
He'd cut
my balls off.
62
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,138
Why don't you sell
something else?
63
00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:52,304
You still don't get. I'm hanging
by my fingernails here.
64
00:05:52,306 --> 00:05:53,539
I need the money.
65
00:05:53,541 --> 00:05:55,075
Anne's costing you
that much?
66
00:05:56,074 --> 00:05:57,108
Sell her jewels.
67
00:05:58,206 --> 00:05:59,208
You're not funny.
68
00:06:01,741 --> 00:06:03,272
Do you want me to
lend you something?
69
00:06:03,274 --> 00:06:04,706
Could you?
70
00:06:04,708 --> 00:06:06,239
Fifty-thousand,
just for a few days,
71
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,573
until the sale goes through?
72
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:08,639
I'll call Mom.
73
00:06:08,641 --> 00:06:09,873
Don't do that.
74
00:06:09,875 --> 00:06:11,407
Don't give her
the satisfaction.
75
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,872
How is she, anyway?
76
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,305
Getting older and
heavier by the day.
77
00:06:17,307 --> 00:06:18,375
Richer, too.
78
00:06:19,541 --> 00:06:20,941
Middle East foggy London.
79
00:06:21,973 --> 00:06:23,208
She voted Brexit.
80
00:06:24,241 --> 00:06:25,804
Makes sense.
81
00:06:25,806 --> 00:06:28,938
When you were born she was
nuts about Margaret Thatcher.
82
00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:31,039
She said I had to
vote for Reagan.
83
00:06:31,041 --> 00:06:32,105
Did you?
84
00:06:32,107 --> 00:06:35,071
No.
We were in Athens.
85
00:06:35,073 --> 00:06:36,975
Our last horrible year.
86
00:06:40,542 --> 00:06:41,542
How's the writing going?
87
00:06:42,741 --> 00:06:45,372
Yeah, my publisher's
coming to Paris.
88
00:06:45,374 --> 00:06:46,574
I've got nothing
to show him.
89
00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:48,308
He knows it.
90
00:06:49,374 --> 00:06:50,772
So, why is he coming?
91
00:06:50,774 --> 00:06:52,740
When he writes off
the Eurostar trip,
92
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:55,808
I'm one of his best assets.
93
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,804
Go on, sir, take one.
94
00:07:32,806 --> 00:07:35,273
In my country,
we call it mektoub.
95
00:07:35,275 --> 00:07:36,541
Your future.
96
00:07:42,574 --> 00:07:44,807
Tonight you will meet
someone special.
97
00:07:46,375 --> 00:07:48,106
It's not very original.
98
00:07:48,108 --> 00:07:51,272
No? And what if
that someone special
99
00:07:51,274 --> 00:07:54,474
is a mysterious,
beautiful lady.
100
00:08:14,541 --> 00:08:15,542
Zip me up.
101
00:08:19,807 --> 00:08:21,308
I'd rather undress you.
102
00:08:23,806 --> 00:08:26,574
Well,
you had your chance.
103
00:08:32,940 --> 00:08:36,405
Ten, eleven, twelve.
Thirteen?
104
00:08:37,474 --> 00:08:39,238
Exactly.
Who did this?
105
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,273
I did.
106
00:08:41,275 --> 00:08:42,471
- Hello, Anne.
- Hmm.
107
00:08:42,473 --> 00:08:43,938
Welcome to Paris,
Steven,
108
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,204
please make yourself
at home.
109
00:08:45,206 --> 00:08:46,539
Yes and invite yourself
to dinner.
110
00:08:46,541 --> 00:08:48,471
No, Bob invited me.
111
00:08:48,473 --> 00:08:50,871
He didn't say a word.
Typical.
112
00:08:50,873 --> 00:08:53,637
Well, I am not having thirteen at my table.
It is bad luck.
113
00:08:53,639 --> 00:08:55,506
And what's worse,
it's me.
114
00:08:55,508 --> 00:08:57,705
Sorry about that, Anne, but my
father is really excited to see me.
115
00:08:57,707 --> 00:08:59,305
Especially now as it happens.
116
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,638
Oh my God. Get rid of those.
117
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:03,905
Anne,
be proud of them.
118
00:09:03,907 --> 00:09:05,971
How about I kill you?
119
00:09:05,973 --> 00:09:09,405
Head down.
Rotate for a single axis.
120
00:09:09,407 --> 00:09:11,072
See. I remember every word.
121
00:09:11,074 --> 00:09:14,041
Admit it. I'm a fast learner.
And so is my father.
122
00:09:15,273 --> 00:09:16,604
Add another place setting.
123
00:09:16,606 --> 00:09:18,608
There's one more chair
in the corner. And hurry.
124
00:09:19,574 --> 00:09:20,741
You look beautiful, Anne.
125
00:09:31,974 --> 00:09:32,975
This one's fine.
126
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,874
Hey stop. All of you.
Turn around. Look at me.
127
00:09:40,807 --> 00:09:41,807
I need another woman.
128
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:45,438
Madam? No.
129
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:46,573
There's no other
solution.
130
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,472
Madam,
I am the maid.
131
00:09:49,474 --> 00:09:51,439
Maid's don't have dinner
with the bosses.
132
00:09:51,441 --> 00:09:53,904
Oh, nonsense.
You're part of this family.
133
00:09:53,906 --> 00:09:55,138
I have
a terrible accent.
134
00:09:55,140 --> 00:09:56,907
Your accent is charming.
135
00:09:58,041 --> 00:09:59,604
But what will I say?
136
00:09:59,606 --> 00:10:01,473
Well, it's not about talking.
It's about sitting.
137
00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:02,938
You know how to sit,
don't you?
138
00:10:02,940 --> 00:10:04,474
Now come, we have
no time to argue.
139
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:09,604
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Come on.
140
00:10:09,606 --> 00:10:12,105
Which? No, no.
Oh my God.
141
00:10:12,107 --> 00:10:14,138
Here. See if
this one fits.
142
00:10:14,140 --> 00:10:15,704
We're not the
same size, madam.
143
00:10:15,706 --> 00:10:17,372
What about Mandy?
Mandy can do this.
144
00:10:17,374 --> 00:10:19,637
Maria, be serious.
Mandy is a Filipino.
145
00:10:19,639 --> 00:10:21,771
Nobody invites a Filipino
to a dinner party.
146
00:10:21,773 --> 00:10:24,273
Maybe Aung San Suu Kyi because
she won a Nobel peace Prize.
147
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,939
And she's from Burma,
that's different.
148
00:10:25,941 --> 00:10:28,139
Mandy, she speaks terrible
English and terrible French.
149
00:10:28,141 --> 00:10:30,138
I'm not even sure she
knows how to speak Filipino.
150
00:10:30,140 --> 00:10:32,105
No, no. We will be
found out in a second!
151
00:10:32,107 --> 00:10:33,470
Found out?
152
00:10:33,472 --> 00:10:35,737
Yes. We're not going to
tell them you're the maid.
153
00:10:35,739 --> 00:10:37,739
So what are we
going to say, madam?
154
00:10:37,741 --> 00:10:38,806
Nothing.
155
00:10:38,808 --> 00:10:40,771
Just act like a friend.
156
00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:43,604
I think I'm going to faint, madam.
I'm unable to lie.
157
00:10:43,606 --> 00:10:44,872
No, no, it's okay.
158
00:10:44,874 --> 00:10:46,871
All women can lie.
It's all about smiling.
159
00:10:46,873 --> 00:10:48,472
- Like this?
- Mmm.
160
00:10:48,474 --> 00:10:50,073
And Josiane?
What about Josiane?
161
00:10:50,075 --> 00:10:52,071
She just started here.
I don't know her.
162
00:10:52,073 --> 00:10:53,972
Josiane is very funny,
madam.
163
00:10:53,974 --> 00:10:55,405
She know how to
make jokes.
164
00:10:55,407 --> 00:10:57,470
She even imitates Sarkozy.
165
00:10:57,472 --> 00:10:58,872
She could be
the perfect guest.
166
00:10:58,874 --> 00:11:00,372
Josiane is at least a 12.
167
00:11:00,374 --> 00:11:02,437
You're pear-shaped
but you're not fat.
168
00:11:02,439 --> 00:11:04,372
Okay, so we'll go with
the pants you have on.
169
00:11:04,374 --> 00:11:05,605
It's not a good idea.
170
00:11:05,607 --> 00:11:07,538
Yes. Yes.
It is a good idea.
171
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,771
Come on, Maria.
Come on.
172
00:11:09,773 --> 00:11:11,705
We'll look back on this
and laugh one day.
173
00:11:11,707 --> 00:11:13,805
It's going to be like that time
in the chalet when Rose was two
174
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:14,972
and you dressed up
like Santa.
175
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:16,072
Remember that?
With the beard.
176
00:11:16,074 --> 00:11:17,074
Jacques!
177
00:11:17,740 --> 00:11:19,106
Okay, there you are.
178
00:11:19,108 --> 00:11:20,971
Know listen, make it not
to big and not too showy.
179
00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,272
Just make it quick.
180
00:11:22,274 --> 00:11:23,441
What about her shoes?
181
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:25,871
What size are you?
182
00:11:25,873 --> 00:11:26,939
I'm an eight, madam.
183
00:11:26,941 --> 00:11:28,737
Oh, my God.
184
00:11:28,739 --> 00:11:31,206
Just hide them.
185
00:11:31,208 --> 00:11:32,537
No rich woman
wears an eight.
186
00:11:32,539 --> 00:11:34,707
Louboutin doesn't even
make an eight. Stay.
187
00:11:39,473 --> 00:11:42,239
Toby! Welcome to Paris.
188
00:11:42,241 --> 00:11:43,904
Glad they didn't
stop you at the border.
189
00:11:43,906 --> 00:11:46,570
Well, as Lord Mayor
I'm issuing visas for London.
190
00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:48,404
You say the word,
Bob, I'll give you one.
191
00:11:48,406 --> 00:11:50,738
London?
Where is that anyhow?
192
00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:52,572
Little England.
Former Empire.
193
00:11:52,574 --> 00:11:56,405
- I remember now. Rue Bretagna.
- That's the one.
194
00:11:56,407 --> 00:11:58,804
You must be Michael.
Bob Fredericks.
195
00:11:58,806 --> 00:12:00,373
Pleased to meet you.
196
00:12:00,375 --> 00:12:02,039
Nice little place you've have here.
197
00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:04,437
Family pied de terre.
Small but cozy.
198
00:12:04,439 --> 00:12:05,640
Hi, Toby!
199
00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:07,740
Fabulous.
200
00:12:08,806 --> 00:12:09,874
Hello, Michael.
201
00:12:11,041 --> 00:12:13,106
My dears!
202
00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:15,038
I'm sorry about
the security detail.
203
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,938
It's Toby's favorite
style statement.
204
00:12:16,940 --> 00:12:18,370
Did you bring
your food taster?
205
00:12:18,372 --> 00:12:20,274
What if we're serving
poison tonight?
206
00:12:24,073 --> 00:12:25,305
I have no news, Bob.
207
00:12:25,307 --> 00:12:27,239
But calm down,
it's okay. It's okay.
208
00:12:27,241 --> 00:12:29,041
Just give them another week.
It'll be fine.
209
00:12:32,907 --> 00:12:35,040
- Antoine! Helene! Bonsoir.- Bonsoir.
210
00:12:36,307 --> 00:12:37,607
So nice to
see you again.
211
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:42,638
This place is so amazing.
212
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:44,405
Only you Americans
can come to this...
213
00:12:44,407 --> 00:12:46,905
Ah! Steven!
I read your book.
214
00:12:46,907 --> 00:12:48,371
Really?
215
00:12:48,373 --> 00:12:50,271
It's so very funny. Your
father's making hole-in-one.
216
00:12:50,273 --> 00:12:52,705
Anne taking all the credit.
Firing all the sexy girls.
217
00:12:52,707 --> 00:12:55,272
Nothing changed. They're
still Punch and Judy.
218
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:56,904
Congratulations on the
re-election, by the way.
219
00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,239
Yes, thank you.
220
00:12:58,241 --> 00:12:59,538
Keep going, you'll be
England's first family.
221
00:12:59,540 --> 00:13:01,239
Well, don't you
write about us.
222
00:13:01,241 --> 00:13:03,472
Don't want the entire world knowing
about our every little secret.
223
00:13:03,474 --> 00:13:07,105
Don't worry. I couldn't be more blocked
if I'd eaten a pound of cement.
224
00:13:07,107 --> 00:13:08,205
Put me somewhere nice.
225
00:13:08,207 --> 00:13:10,206
I have.
In the corner.
226
00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:12,071
Look at that.
Homemade.
227
00:13:12,073 --> 00:13:13,607
Lovely.
228
00:13:16,141 --> 00:13:19,940
The trick is to pretend you're
carrying a Chinese vase on your head.
229
00:13:20,506 --> 00:13:22,038
Steven!
230
00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,538
You walk tall and slow.
231
00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:25,441
And you shine, Maria.
232
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,707
You shine.
233
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,072
This is not going to work.
234
00:13:31,407 --> 00:13:32,906
You know baby,
it's cold outside so
235
00:13:32,908 --> 00:13:34,741
I think you're going to
need an extra layer.
236
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:37,805
Mr. Steven, it's summertime.
237
00:13:37,807 --> 00:13:40,072
Exactly.
It's party time.
238
00:13:40,074 --> 00:13:42,238
Antoine, you still haven't told
me how you want to deal the press.
239
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,571
It's not every day
a Caravaggio changes hands.
240
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,939
There's
no rush, is there?
241
00:13:46,941 --> 00:13:51,539
Of course not. We both have to
be satisfied with the results.
242
00:13:51,541 --> 00:13:54,272
The X-ray team were asking for
another ten thousand euros.
243
00:13:54,274 --> 00:13:56,737
They're sending their best
people over from New York.
244
00:13:56,739 --> 00:13:59,139
Bob, let me split
the fee with you.
245
00:13:59,141 --> 00:14:01,906
Absolutely not.
I wouldn't hear of it.
246
00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:05,105
Just give me an invitation
once it's on your wall.
247
00:14:05,107 --> 00:14:07,073
I won't keep it
at home.
248
00:14:07,075 --> 00:14:09,141
It will have a pride
of place at my museum.
249
00:14:10,740 --> 00:14:11,807
Once we know
it's real.
250
00:14:14,073 --> 00:14:15,074
Maria?
251
00:14:16,073 --> 00:14:17,338
What is this nonsense?
252
00:14:17,340 --> 00:14:19,271
It's not
going to work, madam.
253
00:14:19,273 --> 00:14:21,270
Your friends, the Bernards. They have been
here before, they would have seen her.
254
00:14:21,272 --> 00:14:23,437
They haven't seen her.
Nobody looks at a maid.
255
00:14:23,439 --> 00:14:25,738
Now come on out here,
Maria, right this minute.
256
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:27,237
They will recognize me, madam.
257
00:14:27,239 --> 00:14:29,805
Well, if they find
your face familiar,
258
00:14:29,807 --> 00:14:31,572
they'll just think they
saw you at a fashion show.
259
00:14:31,574 --> 00:14:33,538
Madam, you know
it's a sin to lie?
260
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,304
You're not lying,
you're not hurting anybody.
261
00:14:35,306 --> 00:14:37,304
It's like a part in
our own little play.
262
00:14:37,306 --> 00:14:39,105
It's fun. It's like
being in a movie.
263
00:14:39,107 --> 00:14:41,605
Except you're changing your life
from ABC to HBO, you get it?
264
00:14:41,607 --> 00:14:43,038
Not really.
265
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,138
I'll make it
simple, avoid them.
266
00:14:45,140 --> 00:14:47,370
You're at the far end
of the table anyway.
267
00:14:47,372 --> 00:14:50,804
What about Jacques? Jacques would
make a perfect guest, madam.
268
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:53,304
Steven, you have
a dress I can wear?
269
00:14:53,306 --> 00:14:55,271
No, no, no.
Forget it. Okay.
270
00:14:55,273 --> 00:14:57,538
This is Bob's fault and
I want him to suffer.
271
00:14:57,540 --> 00:15:00,538
Now, Maria let me
look at you.
272
00:15:00,540 --> 00:15:02,973
Oh my God.
She's not even dressed.
273
00:15:02,975 --> 00:15:05,406
Will you get her pulled together, please.
And listen to me.
274
00:15:06,074 --> 00:15:07,370
Don't speak to much.
275
00:15:07,372 --> 00:15:10,638
Don't smile too much
and don't eat too much.
276
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,105
Yes, madam.
277
00:15:12,107 --> 00:15:16,904
Don't drink too much either.
Nobody likes that. Trust me.
278
00:15:16,906 --> 00:15:19,237
How do I rate amongst
your students?
279
00:15:19,239 --> 00:15:21,537
You're definitely not
the most disciplined one.
280
00:15:21,539 --> 00:15:23,738
You're the most studious.
You're the most studious one.
281
00:15:23,740 --> 00:15:25,605
- The most studious one?
- Yes.
282
00:15:25,607 --> 00:15:27,939
I wish I could think of something
to say now in French but
283
00:15:27,941 --> 00:15:29,370
now I'm baffled.
284
00:15:29,372 --> 00:15:31,138
You're always baffled.
285
00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:33,039
Anne! Not always.
286
00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:34,471
You remember
my French teacher?
287
00:15:34,473 --> 00:15:35,772
Ah! Yes, Melanie.
288
00:15:35,774 --> 00:15:37,104
Fanny. I'm Fanny.
289
00:15:37,106 --> 00:15:39,471
Of course.
How silly of me.
290
00:15:39,473 --> 00:15:41,640
Don't worry about it. I'll
answer to almost anything.
291
00:15:43,773 --> 00:15:44,773
Ah.
292
00:15:56,941 --> 00:15:58,207
Don't speak to much.
293
00:15:58,973 --> 00:16:01,105
Don't eat too much.
294
00:16:01,107 --> 00:16:02,474
Don't smile to much.
295
00:16:34,407 --> 00:16:35,407
Who is that?
296
00:16:38,140 --> 00:16:41,138
What's her name.
Who is she really?
297
00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:42,937
What are you
talking about?
298
00:16:42,939 --> 00:16:45,972
She'll claim she's Maria
Escalante but the truth is she's
299
00:16:45,974 --> 00:16:48,241
Maria Immaculata
of the Two Sicilies.
300
00:16:49,307 --> 00:16:50,538
You're not serious?
301
00:16:50,540 --> 00:16:54,604
Countess of Asturias,
the House of Bourbon,
302
00:16:54,606 --> 00:16:56,572
second cousin of
Juan Carlos.
303
00:16:56,574 --> 00:16:57,774
She'll deny it.
304
00:16:59,073 --> 00:17:00,139
And I never told you.
305
00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:13,038
Are you a fan
of Caravaggio?
306
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:14,941
I love the holy family.
307
00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:16,941
Oh. Good for you.
308
00:17:18,739 --> 00:17:22,205
I keep a portrait of the
baby Jesus by my bed.
309
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,605
Oh, by whom? I'm a big
fan of the masters.
310
00:17:24,607 --> 00:17:25,607
Let me guess.
311
00:17:26,539 --> 00:17:27,539
- El Greco.
- No.
312
00:17:28,073 --> 00:17:29,271
- Goya.
- No.
313
00:17:29,273 --> 00:17:30,805
No, I've got it.
314
00:17:30,807 --> 00:17:32,704
Dali.
I'm right, yes?
315
00:17:32,706 --> 00:17:34,873
The artist doesn't
matter so much.
316
00:17:34,875 --> 00:17:37,040
It's the expression
on the baby's face.
317
00:17:38,239 --> 00:17:40,071
Yes. We musn't
take that for granted.
318
00:17:40,073 --> 00:17:44,238
And the holy mother.
How she loves him.
319
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,607
Madame,
The dinner is served.
320
00:17:50,873 --> 00:17:56,138
So, tonight's a sort of
last supper in a way.
321
00:17:56,140 --> 00:17:58,472
This maybe the last time
you see this painting.
322
00:17:58,474 --> 00:18:01,304
I'm brokering this sale
to Antoine Bernard.
323
00:18:01,306 --> 00:18:02,771
Oh, Monsieur Antoine.
324
00:18:02,773 --> 00:18:04,372
He's a friend
of the family.
325
00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:05,939
Ah, excellent.
326
00:18:05,941 --> 00:18:07,240
Let me introduce myself.
327
00:18:10,072 --> 00:18:11,940
I am David Morgan.
I live in London.
328
00:18:12,473 --> 00:18:13,473
I am Maria.
329
00:18:14,706 --> 00:18:16,237
No second name?
330
00:18:16,239 --> 00:18:17,604
No, no. Not tonight.
331
00:18:17,606 --> 00:18:20,039
I'm a friend of madam.
A friend of a friend.
332
00:18:21,907 --> 00:18:23,441
HBO, not ABC.
333
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:28,373
Oh, thank you.
334
00:18:32,106 --> 00:18:33,204
Bon Appetit.
335
00:18:33,206 --> 00:18:34,406
Bon Appetit, darling.
336
00:18:44,307 --> 00:18:47,472
So being married to the
mayor of London makes you what?
337
00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:49,370
Everybody's asking.
338
00:18:49,372 --> 00:18:51,271
Just another
queen I guess.
339
00:18:51,273 --> 00:18:53,538
Wow. That's great.
You should carry a purse.
340
00:18:53,540 --> 00:18:54,805
And what do you do
for a living?
341
00:18:54,807 --> 00:18:55,904
I'm a hairdresser.
342
00:18:55,906 --> 00:18:56,907
Oh great.
343
00:18:57,806 --> 00:18:59,105
No, I'm joking.
344
00:18:59,107 --> 00:19:00,538
I used to be.
345
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,572
Then I thought I can't
be gay and a hairdresser.
346
00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:05,371
- Too much of a cliché. So I changed everthing.
- Oh. And you became?
347
00:19:05,373 --> 00:19:06,571
- Butcher.
- Oh.
348
00:19:06,573 --> 00:19:07,638
I'm joking.
349
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:08,737
He's a shrink...
350
00:19:08,739 --> 00:19:10,104
He let you
run for office?
351
00:19:10,106 --> 00:19:11,704
I know.
Malpractice.
352
00:19:11,706 --> 00:19:13,471
I'll say.
353
00:19:13,473 --> 00:19:16,604
So, France, Paris.
Why did you come here?
354
00:19:16,606 --> 00:19:17,937
This house
for one thing.
355
00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:20,471
- And my grandfather was French.
- Oh.
356
00:19:20,473 --> 00:19:25,304
And to keep a woman, at some point
you have to satisfy their neurosis.
357
00:19:25,306 --> 00:19:26,937
They are all satisfied
analyst in New York.
358
00:19:26,939 --> 00:19:28,038
She talks about him?
359
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,704
Oh, not of everyone.
360
00:19:29,706 --> 00:19:31,704
I think the good doctor Schwiman
can teach Michael a thing or two.
361
00:19:31,706 --> 00:19:33,737
About billing, no question.
362
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:35,205
Did you rehearse?
363
00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:36,772
Or do you always
speak this fast?
364
00:19:36,774 --> 00:19:38,905
Yes. In such a brilliant
and sarcastic way.
365
00:19:38,907 --> 00:19:40,704
- Years of training, my dear.
- Oh.
366
00:19:40,706 --> 00:19:43,871
It's harder to lie when
you speak faster.
367
00:19:43,873 --> 00:19:47,105
I guess that's why my
husband speaks so slowly.
368
00:19:47,107 --> 00:19:50,441
The Eiffel Tower has a sexual symbol
supposed to save your marriage.
369
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,537
I will ask him.
370
00:19:53,539 --> 00:19:55,638
Do you really think
that love can last?
371
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,071
I mean,
you're so smart.
372
00:19:57,073 --> 00:19:59,070
Could you still be
one of those?
373
00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:00,206
You have to let go.
374
00:20:01,307 --> 00:20:03,774
Well, flowers freeze
and blossom again.
375
00:20:05,306 --> 00:20:06,807
Don't be so cynical.
376
00:20:10,773 --> 00:20:12,470
Oh. And what do
you suggest?
377
00:20:12,472 --> 00:20:14,905
Adultery, darling.
378
00:20:14,907 --> 00:20:17,936
You're just taking the problem
with you wherever you go.
379
00:20:17,938 --> 00:20:21,106
Make a best friend of your husband
and have lunch with me tomorrow.
380
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:23,907
Oh. You're evil.
381
00:20:25,273 --> 00:20:26,372
No, I'm French.
382
00:20:43,073 --> 00:20:44,073
Oh, oh!
383
00:20:46,573 --> 00:20:48,404
Go. Go.
Let me help.
384
00:20:48,406 --> 00:20:49,406
It's only water.
385
00:20:51,207 --> 00:20:54,104
I like to pour water on
myself so women can help me.
386
00:20:54,106 --> 00:20:55,305
Looks like fun.
387
00:20:55,307 --> 00:20:56,638
It's generic.
388
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,470
When women sees a stain,
she must come and rub.
389
00:20:59,472 --> 00:21:02,271
You're funny. I mean,
for an American, obviously.
390
00:21:02,273 --> 00:21:05,638
Wow. Every guy from Cambridge
knows how to judge funny.
391
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:09,037
All the English men I know think
they're funny but they never laugh.
392
00:21:09,039 --> 00:21:11,272
I hate them.
393
00:21:11,274 --> 00:21:12,371
So do I.
394
00:21:12,373 --> 00:21:13,407
What do you think, Maria?
395
00:21:15,406 --> 00:21:17,738
I don't like
English people.
396
00:21:17,740 --> 00:21:20,271
But I do like Hugh Grant.
You know Hugh Grant?
397
00:21:20,273 --> 00:21:21,671
In Bridget Jones.
398
00:21:21,673 --> 00:21:24,871
He's also the one dancing
in Love Actually.
399
00:21:24,873 --> 00:21:29,103
Like this. ♪ I take
it down ♪ I take it down
400
00:21:29,105 --> 00:21:34,437
♪ You're more more more
♪ Jump, Jumping
401
00:21:34,439 --> 00:21:36,537
You know Hugh Grant?
The beautiful one.
402
00:21:36,539 --> 00:21:38,737
He also had an
affair with...
403
00:21:41,540 --> 00:21:43,071
The prostitute.
404
00:21:43,073 --> 00:21:46,137
Well, Of course we all
know who Hugh Grant is.
405
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:47,970
You were just saying
about knowing who laugh...
406
00:21:47,972 --> 00:21:49,806
You look like him.
Like Hugh Grant.
407
00:21:52,072 --> 00:21:54,238
We all look the same from the
same part of the world. You know.
408
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:58,205
Same face. Same blue eyes.
Same same funny teeth.
409
00:21:58,207 --> 00:22:00,538
That's beautiful.
Very beautiful.
410
00:22:00,540 --> 00:22:02,638
But I don't like the stupid
films he is in though.
411
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,805
Always happy endings
and kisses in the rain.
412
00:22:04,807 --> 00:22:06,274
You should not
despise people.
413
00:22:07,274 --> 00:22:09,539
People love
happy endings, you know.
414
00:22:09,541 --> 00:22:11,105
They can't fight it.
415
00:22:11,107 --> 00:22:14,204
The hero runs.
He kisses her in the rain.
416
00:22:14,206 --> 00:22:15,307
People love that.
417
00:22:16,606 --> 00:22:18,004
Well...
418
00:22:18,006 --> 00:22:19,803
Would you ever consider
running for prime minister?
419
00:22:19,805 --> 00:22:20,972
I thought supreme leader.
420
00:22:20,974 --> 00:22:22,871
Would you ever
run for president?
421
00:22:22,873 --> 00:22:24,137
If you were
my first lady.
422
00:22:24,139 --> 00:22:25,540
Are you in politics?
423
00:22:26,239 --> 00:22:28,803
No. I'm a musician.
424
00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:30,737
A classical pianist
to be precise.
425
00:22:30,739 --> 00:22:32,571
Great.
How old are you?
426
00:22:32,573 --> 00:22:34,470
Nine and a half.
And you?
427
00:22:34,472 --> 00:22:36,538
Thirty two and a half.
428
00:22:36,540 --> 00:22:38,604
Is that your father
sitting next to you?
429
00:22:38,606 --> 00:22:41,271
Oh no. That's Fedore.
The Master.
430
00:22:41,273 --> 00:22:42,404
Oh.
431
00:22:42,406 --> 00:22:44,104
Well. I hope
you enjoy dinner.
432
00:22:44,106 --> 00:22:45,307
I'm so glad
you could come.
433
00:22:46,140 --> 00:22:47,207
Does he speak English?
434
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,238
Oh, no.
He never speaks.
435
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:52,372
Yeah. So there's
our Franck and Robin.
436
00:22:52,374 --> 00:22:55,205
Oh, they're beautiful.
Just like their mother.
437
00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:58,138
Oh, thank you.
438
00:22:58,140 --> 00:23:02,904
You know, it is so hard to keep being
sexy when you're a single mom.
439
00:23:02,906 --> 00:23:04,572
It's a constant battle.
440
00:23:04,574 --> 00:23:07,971
I went to this great seminar about
fighting for yourself last month,
441
00:23:07,973 --> 00:23:09,570
Justin Tender.
Do you know him?
442
00:23:09,572 --> 00:23:12,637
It was in London. Oh, my God.
He is so spiritual.
443
00:23:12,639 --> 00:23:13,904
Amazing. Anyway...
444
00:23:13,906 --> 00:23:17,071
He says that it all
starts with food.
445
00:23:17,073 --> 00:23:18,904
He also recommends
that you drink less.
446
00:23:18,906 --> 00:23:20,071
What? Water?
447
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:23,871
Anne told me
you were funny.
448
00:23:23,873 --> 00:23:26,639
You know, she's been wanting
us to meet for a long time.
449
00:23:26,641 --> 00:23:29,539
Yes. She's
a force of nature, Anne.
450
00:23:29,541 --> 00:23:32,271
Talk to me. This
woman's a nightmare.
451
00:23:32,273 --> 00:23:34,471
How do you know
she's not my friend?
452
00:23:34,473 --> 00:23:35,639
Well, if
that's the truth
453
00:23:35,641 --> 00:23:37,038
I'm going to fake
a heart attack
454
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:38,804
and get dragged out
of here by my ankles.
455
00:23:38,806 --> 00:23:40,137
Say something to me.
Talk to me.
456
00:23:40,139 --> 00:23:41,337
Tell me a joke
or something.
457
00:23:41,339 --> 00:23:43,304
She's all over me
like a bad suit.
458
00:23:43,306 --> 00:23:45,304
I don't know any joke.
459
00:23:45,306 --> 00:23:46,540
Well,
make something up.
460
00:23:48,307 --> 00:23:50,040
You're putting a lot of
pressure on me.
461
00:23:52,706 --> 00:23:54,407
Where's that
charming accent from?
462
00:23:55,939 --> 00:23:57,737
I'm a Spanish.
463
00:23:57,739 --> 00:23:59,203
I was born in Majorca.
464
00:23:59,205 --> 00:24:02,537
Asturias. I thought
it was Asturias.
465
00:24:02,539 --> 00:24:05,471
My ancestors were
from Asturias.
466
00:24:05,473 --> 00:24:07,608
See, I'm Celtic like you.
467
00:24:08,406 --> 00:24:10,238
Where is your family from?
468
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:14,138
Oh, well my family is from a
very lovely county called Downe.
469
00:24:14,140 --> 00:24:16,905
My father owns
most of it. You know.
470
00:24:16,907 --> 00:24:19,304
He always wants me
to get my art hobby
471
00:24:19,306 --> 00:24:22,640
out of my system and come back
and run the family estate.
472
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,805
You came here to
escape your father.
473
00:24:26,807 --> 00:24:29,404
Well, I came to London
to be an artist.
474
00:24:29,406 --> 00:24:31,103
But I wind up
being a consultant.
475
00:24:31,105 --> 00:24:33,370
So I spend my life
now flying between
476
00:24:33,372 --> 00:24:37,371
hotels and New York
and Paris and London.
477
00:24:37,373 --> 00:24:40,305
To be fair I don't know
where my real home is.
478
00:24:40,307 --> 00:24:42,804
Probably because
it's still in Dine.
479
00:24:42,806 --> 00:24:44,736
- Dine? Downe.
- Dan.
480
00:24:44,738 --> 00:24:45,971
- Downe.
- Dine. Downe.
481
00:24:45,973 --> 00:24:47,371
Dine. Downe.
Up down.
482
00:24:47,373 --> 00:24:49,373
Maria? Sorry, David. I'm
stealing her for a minute.
483
00:24:51,206 --> 00:24:52,940
Don't drink too much.
484
00:24:53,706 --> 00:24:54,771
No, sir.
485
00:24:54,773 --> 00:24:56,305
Madam told me
what to do.
486
00:24:56,307 --> 00:24:57,473
And what not to do.
487
00:24:58,473 --> 00:25:00,471
What's with
this silly idea.
488
00:25:00,473 --> 00:25:02,472
You must be dying here.
489
00:25:02,474 --> 00:25:05,770
It's like me sitting in
a plumber meeting.
490
00:25:05,772 --> 00:25:08,371
I was supposed to
sit close to madam.
491
00:25:08,373 --> 00:25:11,771
But I think somebody
mixed up the place cards.
492
00:25:11,773 --> 00:25:13,971
This scary fashion lady
must be here.
493
00:25:13,973 --> 00:25:16,570
Don't talk like a maid.
494
00:25:16,572 --> 00:25:18,374
Just yes or no
at the end.
495
00:25:19,539 --> 00:25:23,506
Be really impossible.
496
00:25:23,973 --> 00:25:25,171
Unpleasant.
497
00:25:25,173 --> 00:25:26,903
- Yes, sir.
- Hey, Bob!
498
00:25:26,905 --> 00:25:29,138
Maria's got some great jokes.
I bet you didn't know that?
499
00:25:29,140 --> 00:25:30,637
No. I did.
500
00:25:30,639 --> 00:25:32,704
Yes. She was just
about to tell me one.
501
00:25:32,706 --> 00:25:35,204
Madam Bernard, would you like
to hear one of Maria's jokes?
502
00:25:35,206 --> 00:25:37,036
Yes. Of course.
503
00:25:37,038 --> 00:25:39,707
Don't force her.
She's embarrassed.
504
00:25:40,340 --> 00:25:41,541
And very shy.
505
00:25:42,439 --> 00:25:43,770
I'm very unpleasant.
506
00:25:43,772 --> 00:25:44,904
Oh, come on.
507
00:25:44,906 --> 00:25:46,372
You're very funny.
508
00:25:46,374 --> 00:25:47,603
We're all friends here.
Who'd like to hear a joke.
509
00:25:47,605 --> 00:25:48,771
- Oh, no.
- Come on love.
510
00:25:48,773 --> 00:25:51,204
Everyone's funny with
a Spanish accent.
511
00:25:51,206 --> 00:25:54,104
The only joke I know
is very vulgar.
512
00:25:54,106 --> 00:25:57,205
My uncle, Pedro, used to
tell it when he was drunk.
513
00:25:57,207 --> 00:25:58,537
I don't think
it's appropriated.
514
00:25:58,539 --> 00:25:59,803
Oh, no, don't bother.
515
00:25:59,805 --> 00:26:01,105
Don't force yourself.
516
00:26:01,107 --> 00:26:02,627
Come on. Live a little.
Tell us a joke.
517
00:26:03,940 --> 00:26:05,974
Okay. You want it.
You have it.
518
00:26:07,239 --> 00:26:09,071
A family's at
the dinner table.
519
00:26:09,073 --> 00:26:14,570
The son asks the father, "Dad, how
many kinds of boobs are there?"
520
00:26:14,572 --> 00:26:16,603
The father surprised,
answer.
521
00:26:16,605 --> 00:26:20,407
"Well my son, a woman
goes through three phases:
522
00:26:21,906 --> 00:26:25,573
"In her twenties, a woman's
breast are like melons.
523
00:26:26,572 --> 00:26:28,870
"Round and firm.
524
00:26:28,872 --> 00:26:32,405
"In her thirties and forties
they are like pears.
525
00:26:32,407 --> 00:26:34,874
"Still nice but
hanging a bit.
526
00:26:36,105 --> 00:26:38,505
"In her fifties,
they are like onions."
527
00:26:39,073 --> 00:26:40,371
"Onions, Dad?"
528
00:26:40,373 --> 00:26:43,569
"Yes. You see them
and they make you cry."
529
00:26:46,472 --> 00:26:48,071
Hilarious.
530
00:26:48,073 --> 00:26:50,870
Wait. I didn't finish yet
because I'm translating
531
00:26:50,872 --> 00:26:52,503
straight from the Spanish
in my head.
532
00:26:52,505 --> 00:26:54,970
This one's amusing. She just
like Google translator.
533
00:26:54,972 --> 00:26:57,138
The daughter asks
the mother:
534
00:26:57,140 --> 00:27:00,206
"Mom, how many kinds of
willies are there?"
535
00:27:01,307 --> 00:27:02,938
The mother answers.
536
00:27:02,940 --> 00:27:06,804
"Well my dear, a man goes
through three phases too..."
537
00:27:06,806 --> 00:27:08,326
Love the voice of
the wife. Keep going.
538
00:27:09,939 --> 00:27:16,205
"In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree.
Mighty and hard.
539
00:27:16,207 --> 00:27:22,406
"In his 30s and 40s, it's like a
birch tree, flexible but reliable.
540
00:27:24,239 --> 00:27:27,304
"After 50, it's like
a Christmas tree."
541
00:27:27,306 --> 00:27:29,703
"A Christmas tree, Mommy?"
"Yes.
542
00:27:29,705 --> 00:27:33,871
"Dead from the root up and the
balls are just for decoration."
543
00:27:38,072 --> 00:27:40,038
That's a rude joke.
544
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:41,737
It's not even funny.
545
00:27:41,739 --> 00:27:43,470
I have a better one about
Do you want to hear it?
546
00:27:43,472 --> 00:27:45,436
No, that will be fine.
Thank you.
547
00:27:45,438 --> 00:27:47,773
I think that's plenty.
Thank you. You're so...
548
00:27:48,305 --> 00:27:49,439
She's so funny.
549
00:27:53,106 --> 00:27:57,570
I can understand now why my dad
is making so much progress in french.
550
00:27:57,572 --> 00:28:01,039
Bet he took one look at you and said
I want to learn French immediately.
551
00:28:02,106 --> 00:28:03,106
No.
552
00:28:04,540 --> 00:28:07,436
His wife forced him
to learn
553
00:28:07,438 --> 00:28:09,105
la langue de Moliere.
554
00:28:09,107 --> 00:28:10,271
Thank you for this.
555
00:28:10,273 --> 00:28:11,637
It's become my
instant favorite.
556
00:28:11,639 --> 00:28:13,707
So you're the revenge.
557
00:28:14,473 --> 00:28:15,607
I don't get it.
558
00:28:17,406 --> 00:28:19,606
She used to
be his golf teacher.
559
00:28:43,706 --> 00:28:47,105
So, what do I need to wear
to look more Parisian?
560
00:28:47,107 --> 00:28:48,970
Women are
always asking me that.
561
00:28:48,972 --> 00:28:51,037
No one can buy that.
562
00:28:51,039 --> 00:28:54,237
That's why I'm asking
for your advice.
563
00:28:54,239 --> 00:28:56,470
Oh, I love what you
did with the issue by the way.
564
00:28:56,472 --> 00:28:58,402
Oh, I try my best.
565
00:28:58,404 --> 00:29:02,704
As my grandmother always say,
tell the truth it's easy to remember.
566
00:29:02,706 --> 00:29:07,104
You know, in therapy I hear so
many lies, contradictions...
567
00:29:07,106 --> 00:29:09,603
But even your lies say
something about you...
568
00:29:09,605 --> 00:29:11,870
Um, yeah.
I'm going to marry you.
569
00:29:11,872 --> 00:29:14,073
And what makes you
think I'd say yes.
570
00:29:15,107 --> 00:29:17,307
Are all women
mad about you?
571
00:29:18,772 --> 00:29:19,772
The night is young.
572
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,570
So sorry for
ignoring you buddy
573
00:29:24,572 --> 00:29:26,737
but this girl next to me
is really sexy.
574
00:29:26,739 --> 00:29:27,938
It's okay.
575
00:29:27,940 --> 00:29:29,403
I'm used to
not talking.
576
00:29:29,405 --> 00:29:30,806
You know,
with Fedor.
577
00:29:31,572 --> 00:29:33,369
Go and get her.
578
00:29:33,371 --> 00:29:35,105
Cheers, buddy.
High five.
579
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:36,903
I'm not insured
for high fives.
580
00:29:36,905 --> 00:29:37,906
No?
581
00:29:39,405 --> 00:29:40,706
Are you allowed
to touch boobs?
582
00:29:42,207 --> 00:29:44,438
I guess so but I've never
had the opportunity.
583
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:46,370
I hope I'm not
being to forward.
584
00:29:46,372 --> 00:29:47,739
I'd just like to say,
585
00:29:48,806 --> 00:29:50,806
you look absolutely
beautiful tonight.
586
00:29:51,805 --> 00:29:52,972
Thank you.
587
00:29:52,974 --> 00:29:54,214
How long have you
been in Paris?
588
00:29:55,905 --> 00:29:58,570
How long have you been
sleeping with my dad?
589
00:29:58,572 --> 00:30:02,074
Are you crazy?
I'm just his teacher.
590
00:30:02,973 --> 00:30:04,936
Look at you.
Your dad.
591
00:30:04,938 --> 00:30:06,371
Makes you sound
so childish.
592
00:30:06,373 --> 00:30:08,303
You look like a child.
593
00:30:08,305 --> 00:30:09,870
I'd really like to
spank you.
594
00:30:13,873 --> 00:30:19,904
But your dad warned me that you were
rude, alcoholic and unemployed.
595
00:30:19,906 --> 00:30:22,971
Yeah, but I also have some really bad
points. Did he tell you what those were?
596
00:30:22,973 --> 00:30:24,804
You look very elegant too.
597
00:30:24,806 --> 00:30:28,870
Well, I'm the best in my price range.
598
00:30:28,872 --> 00:30:31,137
- Fanny you're going to be my new mother in law.
- Shhh!
599
00:30:31,139 --> 00:30:33,772
It's like you and your dad are
the only two men on the planet.
600
00:30:34,373 --> 00:30:36,536
Oh, I see.
601
00:30:36,538 --> 00:30:38,937
Why would you want the egg when
you've already got the goose.
602
00:30:38,939 --> 00:30:40,404
I don't want the goose
603
00:30:40,406 --> 00:30:42,906
and I don't like the rotten egg.
Actually.
604
00:30:51,272 --> 00:30:52,572
Dearest darling Daddy,
605
00:30:53,639 --> 00:30:59,637
and his ageless,
gorgeous concubine.
606
00:30:59,639 --> 00:31:00,974
- Steven.
- Sorry. Sorry.
607
00:31:02,539 --> 00:31:04,537
Step-mom, Anne
608
00:31:04,539 --> 00:31:10,204
Thank you so much for inviting me
tonight to this amazing place.
609
00:31:10,206 --> 00:31:12,737
Where generosity
holds no bounds.
610
00:31:12,739 --> 00:31:14,603
Actually that's
who's getting the tab.
611
00:31:14,605 --> 00:31:16,305
Anyway. Not important.
612
00:31:17,706 --> 00:31:18,972
I digress.
613
00:31:18,974 --> 00:31:20,971
I'd just like to make
an announcement.
614
00:31:20,973 --> 00:31:27,271
My engagement to this amazing,
beautiful, talented creature.
615
00:31:27,273 --> 00:31:28,369
What's your name again?
616
00:31:28,371 --> 00:31:29,870
Fuck you.
617
00:31:29,872 --> 00:31:31,992
Fuck you. That's an unusual name.
Don't be shy, honey.
618
00:31:35,140 --> 00:31:36,436
Don Maria.
619
00:31:36,438 --> 00:31:38,078
Your Highness, I would
like your blessing.
620
00:31:47,606 --> 00:31:49,070
Congratulations.
621
00:31:49,072 --> 00:31:50,537
Thank you.
622
00:31:50,539 --> 00:31:52,805
Well, dear guests,
623
00:31:52,807 --> 00:31:55,904
we have the great honor
of sharing the table tonight
624
00:31:55,906 --> 00:31:58,038
with a very young,
talented prodigy:
625
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:02,437
Gilles Durand and his
master Fedor Krachinsky.
626
00:32:02,439 --> 00:32:05,303
Gilles is only nine years old and needs
to get some sleep because he's playing
627
00:32:05,305 --> 00:32:07,437
a very special concert
in Vienna tomorrow night.
628
00:32:07,439 --> 00:32:11,402
So, we will have dessert in the
music room after we hear some...
629
00:32:11,404 --> 00:32:13,571
Songs my mother
taught me.
630
00:32:13,573 --> 00:32:14,707
Arranged by the master.
631
00:32:15,572 --> 00:32:16,572
There you have it.
632
00:32:16,973 --> 00:32:17,974
Please.
633
00:33:11,205 --> 00:33:12,270
Clean this.
634
00:33:12,272 --> 00:33:13,773
Rub, rub, rub...
635
00:33:14,872 --> 00:33:16,436
You did for
a long time.
636
00:33:16,438 --> 00:33:17,539
Not true, Mandy.
637
00:33:26,873 --> 00:33:27,874
We said hardly speak.
638
00:33:28,905 --> 00:33:30,370
I made them laugh,
madam.
639
00:33:30,372 --> 00:33:33,270
Yeah. Even the scary,
fashion woman.
640
00:33:33,272 --> 00:33:36,106
Madam, you heard that from
the other side of the table?
641
00:33:37,072 --> 00:33:38,970
Dinners are my job.
642
00:33:38,972 --> 00:33:42,537
I can follow five conversations
at the same time.
643
00:33:42,539 --> 00:33:44,406
And do you know what
your job is, Maria?
644
00:33:48,239 --> 00:33:51,771
You don't even know how
to recognize laughter.
645
00:33:51,773 --> 00:33:55,136
You don't know if you're
making people laugh
646
00:33:55,138 --> 00:33:57,737
or if they're
laughing at you.
647
00:33:57,739 --> 00:34:01,939
I mean can you tell the difference
between Hahaha and ohhohohoh.
648
00:34:03,371 --> 00:34:06,870
So actually you
never really laugh?
649
00:34:06,872 --> 00:34:09,038
You were supposed to play the
part of the missing guest.
650
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:10,703
Silent. Forgettable.
651
00:34:10,705 --> 00:34:13,102
If someone finds out about
this, I will be embarrassed.
652
00:34:13,104 --> 00:34:14,871
And so will they.
653
00:34:14,873 --> 00:34:17,573
That they laughed
at my joke?
654
00:34:18,706 --> 00:34:20,638
Don't you play
the victim.
655
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,436
You know I'm
a life-long democrat.
656
00:34:23,438 --> 00:34:26,036
It's about their mindset.
Not mine.
657
00:34:26,038 --> 00:34:27,371
I'm so sorry, madam.
658
00:34:27,373 --> 00:34:29,370
I had to much to drink.
659
00:34:29,372 --> 00:34:32,603
Wine is so delicious. I've
been drinking it like juice.
660
00:34:32,605 --> 00:34:36,405
Oh, Haut Brion 82 is an
incredible expensive juice.
661
00:34:38,139 --> 00:34:41,302
We should go back before the music
ends, don't you think, madam?
662
00:34:41,304 --> 00:34:44,404
No. No. I think that's
enough for tonight.
663
00:34:44,406 --> 00:34:46,571
You just...
You just go to bed.
664
00:34:46,573 --> 00:34:48,069
Won't they wonder
what happened to me?
665
00:34:48,071 --> 00:34:49,470
Oh, let me
take care of that.
666
00:34:49,472 --> 00:34:50,871
Well, see you tomorrow.
667
00:34:50,873 --> 00:34:53,236
Thank you for
everything, Maria.
668
00:34:53,238 --> 00:34:54,239
Okay, madam.
669
00:34:56,572 --> 00:34:58,439
You don't want me help
the others clean up?
670
00:34:59,071 --> 00:35:00,205
No. Not tonight.
671
00:35:01,973 --> 00:35:02,973
See you tomorrow, madam.
672
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:07,240
Maria?
673
00:35:08,873 --> 00:35:09,874
Yes, madam?
674
00:35:11,305 --> 00:35:12,973
You look beautiful
with lipstick on.
675
00:35:14,371 --> 00:35:15,372
Thank you, madam.
676
00:35:59,306 --> 00:36:00,403
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
677
00:36:00,405 --> 00:36:01,470
Hit harder.
678
00:36:02,705 --> 00:36:03,771
Come on.
Upsy daisy.
679
00:36:03,773 --> 00:36:04,973
- I can't.
- Upsy daisy.
680
00:36:07,805 --> 00:36:08,906
God you stink.
681
00:36:10,139 --> 00:36:12,202
This is
outrageous behavior.
682
00:36:12,204 --> 00:36:13,370
Okay. Okay.
683
00:36:13,372 --> 00:36:14,873
Hey, hey,
look. Look.
684
00:36:15,806 --> 00:36:18,037
Thirteen at the table.
And...
685
00:36:18,039 --> 00:36:19,336
Yes.
686
00:36:19,338 --> 00:36:21,403
Because of Judas.
Thirteen... That's...
687
00:36:21,405 --> 00:36:22,772
That's way it's bad luck.
688
00:36:23,472 --> 00:36:24,473
Where's Maria?
689
00:36:25,539 --> 00:36:27,069
Gone to bed.
690
00:36:27,071 --> 00:36:28,806
She was the belle of the ball.
691
00:36:36,273 --> 00:36:37,603
I want him
out of here.
692
00:36:37,605 --> 00:36:38,936
He almost ruined
the whole evening.
693
00:36:38,938 --> 00:36:40,404
But he didn't.
694
00:36:40,406 --> 00:36:42,404
And Maria. God,
I was a nervous wreck.
695
00:36:42,406 --> 00:36:43,540
Did you see
those shoes?
696
00:36:45,104 --> 00:36:48,436
You know what?
Everyone loved her.
697
00:36:48,438 --> 00:36:50,202
Don't ever do that
to me again, okay?
698
00:36:50,204 --> 00:36:51,636
You put me in
a horrible position...
699
00:36:51,638 --> 00:36:54,370
Hey. You improvised.
700
00:36:54,372 --> 00:36:56,638
You pulled it off.
Congratulations.
701
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,070
David Morgan was
flat-out flirting with her.
702
00:36:59,072 --> 00:37:00,370
What's up with that?
703
00:37:00,372 --> 00:37:03,437
Chill. Chill.
Congratulations, I said.
704
00:37:03,439 --> 00:37:04,440
Hey!
705
00:38:13,306 --> 00:38:14,636
Hello?
706
00:38:14,638 --> 00:38:16,370
Hi Steven,
it's David Morgan.
707
00:38:16,372 --> 00:38:17,939
Sorry, bonjour.
708
00:38:19,572 --> 00:38:21,204
I think.
709
00:38:21,206 --> 00:38:23,326
You couldn't give me
Maria's number, could you?
710
00:38:27,372 --> 00:38:28,372
Um...
711
00:38:30,372 --> 00:38:31,773
Yeah, yes sure.
712
00:38:32,472 --> 00:38:34,104
Stay on the phone.
713
00:38:34,106 --> 00:38:36,270
I just get her number
for you now.
714
00:38:36,272 --> 00:38:39,037
Okay. Hold on.
Hang on. Yeah.
715
00:38:39,039 --> 00:38:42,803
Maria? Note down your
phone number for me.
716
00:38:42,805 --> 00:38:43,905
Note it down quick.
717
00:38:45,938 --> 00:38:47,239
I'll pay you extra.
718
00:38:53,371 --> 00:38:54,372
Thank you.
719
00:38:55,271 --> 00:38:56,272
Hello?
720
00:38:57,904 --> 00:38:59,869
Yeah, I have it here. Yeah.
721
00:38:59,871 --> 00:39:07,571
689-139-134.
722
00:39:07,573 --> 00:39:10,703
Yeah. Yeah, I will. I'll
tell him you said thank you.
723
00:39:10,705 --> 00:39:11,970
Yeah. Okay. Bye bye.
724
00:39:11,972 --> 00:39:12,972
Hey, Dad,
725
00:39:13,772 --> 00:39:14,869
guess what?
726
00:39:14,871 --> 00:39:15,872
What?
727
00:39:17,305 --> 00:39:18,473
Ah... Nothing.
728
00:39:19,971 --> 00:39:22,305
I just had a bad dream.
That's all.
729
00:39:32,871 --> 00:39:34,303
What about
your French lesson?
730
00:39:43,038 --> 00:39:44,472
Stop it, okay?
731
00:39:45,805 --> 00:39:47,270
I'm doing this
for you, remember?
732
00:39:47,272 --> 00:39:49,036
You're not learning
French for me anymore.
733
00:39:49,038 --> 00:39:51,539
That's plain enough. Sean!
Give Maria back her phone.
734
00:39:52,638 --> 00:39:54,538
"Let me be direct.
735
00:39:54,540 --> 00:39:56,103
"You are amazing.
736
00:39:56,105 --> 00:39:58,637
"Very cool but
red hot too.
737
00:39:58,639 --> 00:40:01,772
"May I see you again?
Text yes or yes. David M."
738
00:40:02,572 --> 00:40:03,573
What?
739
00:40:05,138 --> 00:40:07,872
It's a wrong number, madam,
no one ever text me.
740
00:40:10,205 --> 00:40:11,770
It's David Morgan.
741
00:40:11,772 --> 00:40:12,772
You're kidding?
742
00:40:13,472 --> 00:40:15,037
He's kidding.
743
00:40:15,039 --> 00:40:17,037
"Excellent. I felt something
the moment we met."
744
00:40:17,039 --> 00:40:19,136
My God!
I knew it.
745
00:40:19,138 --> 00:40:21,437
This is because
of you. And you.
746
00:40:21,439 --> 00:40:23,103
The Oscar
goes to Maria.
747
00:40:23,105 --> 00:40:25,136
Here somebody take this I
think I'm going to throw up.
748
00:40:25,138 --> 00:40:26,606
Good luck, Maria.
749
00:40:28,739 --> 00:40:30,203
Maria...
750
00:40:30,205 --> 00:40:31,639
This is not funny,
Bob. Shut up.
751
00:40:35,039 --> 00:40:38,637
Did something happen at the dinner?
Something specific?
752
00:40:38,639 --> 00:40:40,539
No, madam.
Nothing specific.
753
00:40:41,605 --> 00:40:43,538
He didn't play
footsie with you?
754
00:40:43,540 --> 00:40:45,237
Footsie?
What is that?
755
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:46,640
What?
You know. Like...
756
00:40:48,039 --> 00:40:51,204
No, madam.
757
00:40:51,206 --> 00:40:53,403
He didn't touch you somewhere?
Or make you touch him?
758
00:40:53,405 --> 00:40:54,636
No, madam.
759
00:40:54,638 --> 00:40:55,998
Oh, God, So what is
this all about?
760
00:40:56,805 --> 00:40:59,373
What? There was
something I must say.
761
00:40:59,938 --> 00:41:01,736
What thing?
762
00:41:01,738 --> 00:41:03,778
I don't know. I felt something
when he looked at me.
763
00:41:04,472 --> 00:41:05,970
Yes,
the Haut Brion.
764
00:41:05,972 --> 00:41:09,537
The thing you felt inside was drunk, Maria.
Nothing else.
765
00:41:09,539 --> 00:41:11,179
Here I'm going to help
you get rid of him.
766
00:41:11,739 --> 00:41:13,303
What is this cell?
Nokia?
767
00:41:13,305 --> 00:41:15,136
You keep it for
sentimental reasons?
768
00:41:15,138 --> 00:41:16,971
I'm going to get you
a new iPhone
769
00:41:16,973 --> 00:41:18,939
for putting up with
David's insanity.
770
00:41:20,373 --> 00:41:23,373
Be kind please, do not insist.
There.
771
00:41:25,072 --> 00:41:26,769
I beat Rose.
772
00:41:26,771 --> 00:41:28,936
Yeah, barely,
I got an eight.
773
00:41:28,938 --> 00:41:31,102
Oh, how great you
are my little stars.
774
00:41:31,104 --> 00:41:33,770
But you weren't even watching
me, you were talking to Maria.
775
00:41:33,772 --> 00:41:35,737
Look I tagged you
all over my Instagram.
776
00:41:35,739 --> 00:41:36,970
How many likes
did I get?
777
00:41:36,972 --> 00:41:38,605
Now go collect
your clubs. Go on now.
778
00:41:40,739 --> 00:41:42,537
Oh!
779
00:41:42,539 --> 00:41:44,739
Meet me at the
Georges V at 9:00.
780
00:41:45,738 --> 00:41:47,237
Oh, my God.
I am an idiot.
781
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:50,136
He's excited
by your resistance.
782
00:41:50,138 --> 00:41:52,103
He wants you
in his bed.
783
00:41:52,105 --> 00:41:54,636
But I thought the Georges
V was the movie theater
784
00:41:54,638 --> 00:41:56,137
on the Champs Elysees,
madam?
785
00:41:56,139 --> 00:41:57,972
No, no. Not in this context.
It's a hotel.
786
00:41:58,971 --> 00:42:00,869
Georges V hotel.
787
00:42:00,871 --> 00:42:01,872
A hotel.
788
00:42:03,738 --> 00:42:06,873
Steven! Steven!
Stop fucking around, Steven.
789
00:42:11,206 --> 00:42:13,037
I'll turn you
into a frog.
790
00:42:13,039 --> 00:42:14,803
Oh, no!
791
00:42:14,805 --> 00:42:17,936
Okay. I'll turn you into a
princess but only until midnight.
792
00:42:17,938 --> 00:42:18,939
Then poof!
793
00:42:20,039 --> 00:42:21,406
Abracadabra!
794
00:42:26,604 --> 00:42:29,340
I don't trust her. I think we
should tell David the truth.
795
00:42:29,938 --> 00:42:32,404
No. Not yet anyways.
796
00:42:32,406 --> 00:42:34,070
What do you mean
not yet?
797
00:42:34,072 --> 00:42:36,569
Wait until he
verified the painting.
798
00:42:36,571 --> 00:42:38,905
I don't want him thinking
we're a house full of liars.
799
00:42:39,538 --> 00:42:40,538
God forbid.
800
00:42:41,704 --> 00:42:43,472
It's a real
Caravaggio, Anne.
801
00:42:44,439 --> 00:42:45,771
Don't muddy the waters.
802
00:43:21,905 --> 00:43:23,535
What are
we going to see?
803
00:43:23,537 --> 00:43:25,239
A horror movie,
of course,
804
00:43:26,138 --> 00:43:27,738
so you jump
into my arms.
805
00:43:29,405 --> 00:43:32,070
Madam. Anne,
our friend
806
00:43:32,072 --> 00:43:34,873
she thought it was
the Georges V hotel.
807
00:43:37,373 --> 00:43:39,772
Anne does not know the
first thing about romance.
808
00:43:43,605 --> 00:43:46,539
Listen, Maria, there's something I
must tell you straight off the bat.
809
00:43:48,038 --> 00:43:49,039
I know who you are.
810
00:43:50,939 --> 00:43:54,273
What I mean is I know
who you really are.
811
00:43:57,638 --> 00:43:59,470
Somebody told me
at the party.
812
00:43:59,472 --> 00:44:01,269
I promised
I wouldn't say who.
813
00:44:01,271 --> 00:44:02,936
Oh, my God.
It was Steven.
814
00:44:02,938 --> 00:44:04,103
He wasn't supposed...
815
00:44:04,105 --> 00:44:05,538
Listen.
It's all right.
816
00:44:07,139 --> 00:44:08,139
I don't care.
817
00:44:10,038 --> 00:44:11,571
It makes
no difference to me.
818
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:13,239
Really?
819
00:44:13,737 --> 00:44:14,738
Yeah.
820
00:44:16,705 --> 00:44:17,972
You honestly
feel that way?
821
00:44:20,972 --> 00:44:24,036
And I have a daughter.
Did he tell you that?
822
00:44:24,038 --> 00:44:25,438
A princess,
I'm sure.
823
00:44:27,438 --> 00:44:31,138
The topic, mi amor,
is closed.
824
00:44:51,406 --> 00:44:53,273
You know they were
supposed to destroy them?
825
00:44:54,938 --> 00:44:56,404
It was a big scandal
at the time.
826
00:44:58,305 --> 00:45:00,570
Like everything new.
827
00:45:00,572 --> 00:45:03,605
People are afraid when they can't
link a feeling with another one.
828
00:45:05,438 --> 00:45:07,270
And how do you
feel right now?
829
00:45:07,272 --> 00:45:08,273
Empty.
830
00:45:09,905 --> 00:45:10,906
Let's make a wish.
831
00:45:39,204 --> 00:45:41,269
Are you okay?
You look sad?
832
00:45:44,638 --> 00:45:47,371
Your mother's never been
so happy in all her life.
833
00:45:47,871 --> 00:45:49,403
Okay.
834
00:45:49,405 --> 00:45:53,070
Now, I will pop this in FedEx.
You will have it by Thursday.
835
00:45:53,072 --> 00:45:54,873
I wish you could
come and see me.
836
00:45:58,371 --> 00:45:59,372
Look.
837
00:46:06,404 --> 00:46:07,802
Ah.
838
00:46:07,804 --> 00:46:09,403
Where were you?
839
00:46:09,405 --> 00:46:11,937
Oh, you know, doing a little
shopping at the Galerie Lafayette.
840
00:46:11,939 --> 00:46:13,304
Are you okay?
841
00:46:13,306 --> 00:46:16,570
I'm fine. Just
starving, that's all.
842
00:46:16,572 --> 00:46:19,371
Maria just asked me if she could go.
She just left.
843
00:46:20,805 --> 00:46:23,069
Mandy is with the kids.
844
00:46:23,071 --> 00:46:24,870
Did she have
make up on?
845
00:46:24,872 --> 00:46:26,404
Lipstick? A skirt?
846
00:46:26,904 --> 00:46:28,502
Excuse me?
847
00:46:28,504 --> 00:46:30,904
There's something very strange
going on with Maria. Trust me.
848
00:46:31,972 --> 00:46:34,270
Okay, can you tell me
about it over steak?
849
00:46:34,272 --> 00:46:35,803
There's this nice bistro
on the corner.
850
00:46:35,805 --> 00:46:36,970
She is seeing him, Bob.
851
00:46:36,972 --> 00:46:38,270
This morning
she came late
852
00:46:38,272 --> 00:46:39,569
and she looked like
she'd been fucking.
853
00:46:39,571 --> 00:46:41,137
Oh, my God!
854
00:46:42,705 --> 00:46:44,271
- I'm coming!
- Come on, Bob.
855
00:46:44,273 --> 00:46:46,237
Oh, my God. I'd hate to
see if there was a fire.
856
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:48,102
- You move like a tortoise.
- Yeah.
857
00:46:48,104 --> 00:46:50,471
Oh, my God!
Okay. Let's follow her.
858
00:46:52,771 --> 00:46:55,770
Come on. Turn it on.
Let's go now. Drive fast.
859
00:46:55,772 --> 00:46:59,302
Be like the French. Go!
Go! Go! Go! Oh, my God!
860
00:46:59,304 --> 00:47:00,403
Shut up.
861
00:47:00,405 --> 00:47:01,806
Do not talk to me
that way.
862
00:47:11,805 --> 00:47:14,905
You're parking. Go
around the block. Fast. Go.
863
00:47:22,072 --> 00:47:24,039
- Bonsoir, Monsieur Morgan.
- Bonsoir.
864
00:47:34,771 --> 00:47:35,872
It's nice, no?
865
00:47:41,471 --> 00:47:45,468
Oh, please, he can't be serious.
Look, Bob, he's taking her to
866
00:47:45,470 --> 00:47:46,869
the Petit Bistro d'Auteuil.
867
00:47:46,871 --> 00:47:49,636
Obviously.
I'm not blind.
868
00:47:49,638 --> 00:47:52,903
- That's one of my favorite restaurants.
- I mean...
869
00:47:52,905 --> 00:47:54,039
At least it's food.
870
00:47:56,537 --> 00:47:59,369
Can we go back home now?
You can fire her tomorrow.
871
00:47:59,371 --> 00:48:02,202
I can't fire her. She run's
the house like clockwork.
872
00:48:02,204 --> 00:48:04,569
Well, you trained her.
873
00:48:04,571 --> 00:48:08,104
She's not a biochemist.
She's just a housemaid.
874
00:48:08,106 --> 00:48:10,936
Look. You don't get it. It takes,
you know, at least half a day
875
00:48:10,938 --> 00:48:12,903
to learn how to fold
my skirts alone,
876
00:48:12,905 --> 00:48:14,635
you know, I mean,
it's a mess.
877
00:48:14,637 --> 00:48:16,103
It's a total
fucking mess.
878
00:48:16,105 --> 00:48:17,636
I think you're
overreacting.
879
00:48:17,638 --> 00:48:19,202
But I'll talk to her.
880
00:48:19,204 --> 00:48:21,635
Could he be in love with her?
Is that possible?
881
00:48:21,637 --> 00:48:23,304
Well admit it,
she's got a great ass.
882
00:48:24,705 --> 00:48:26,936
Maybe vacuum cleaning's
the new Pilates.
883
00:48:26,938 --> 00:48:28,138
She's terribly ugly.
Right?
884
00:48:29,139 --> 00:48:30,269
I don't know.
885
00:48:30,271 --> 00:48:32,602
She's got
a kind of charm.
886
00:48:32,604 --> 00:48:35,802
Oh, my God.
Now you too.
887
00:48:35,804 --> 00:48:37,969
How about we both go in
there and have our dinner?
888
00:48:37,971 --> 00:48:39,039
Because they would see us.
889
00:48:40,537 --> 00:48:42,201
She's the guilty one,
not us.
890
00:48:42,203 --> 00:48:43,204
Bob.
891
00:48:45,570 --> 00:48:46,571
It's good.
892
00:48:47,905 --> 00:48:49,303
You see.
893
00:48:49,305 --> 00:48:50,606
Everything's new to you.
894
00:48:52,138 --> 00:48:53,538
You're like
a kid, Maria.
895
00:48:55,039 --> 00:48:59,470
And you have
a play date after dinner
896
00:48:59,472 --> 00:49:02,073
You realize I'm a fervent
believer, David?
897
00:49:02,872 --> 00:49:04,737
Oh, I know.
898
00:49:04,739 --> 00:49:07,470
I hear you calling for God
when you're in bed with me.
899
00:49:07,472 --> 00:49:11,571
Maybe, yeah, I am a kid.
But you, you're a teenager.
900
00:49:12,872 --> 00:49:13,906
Oversexed.
901
00:49:14,604 --> 00:49:15,772
In the worst way.
902
00:49:17,237 --> 00:49:18,703
I'll have you know,
903
00:49:18,705 --> 00:49:21,568
when I was a teenager,
I was going to be a priest.
904
00:49:21,570 --> 00:49:23,403
- Oh, my God.
- You see.
905
00:49:23,405 --> 00:49:26,369
You're doing it again.
Calling his name.
906
00:49:26,371 --> 00:49:27,738
I'm starting to
get jealous, Maria.
907
00:49:29,939 --> 00:49:33,037
It's like
a slow motion car crash.
908
00:49:33,039 --> 00:49:34,803
I've never seen you
this way.
909
00:49:34,805 --> 00:49:37,470
Well, it's like my own
little catastrophe.
910
00:49:37,472 --> 00:49:40,236
She know the color of our underwear.
She cleans our sheets.
911
00:49:40,238 --> 00:49:42,973
She knows when we have sex.
She knows when I throw up.
912
00:49:44,371 --> 00:49:45,636
You're still
throwing up?
913
00:49:45,638 --> 00:49:47,236
Well, not in a major way.
914
00:49:47,238 --> 00:49:50,105
I just want to stay,
you know, sexy.
915
00:49:51,938 --> 00:49:53,302
Hang on.
916
00:49:53,304 --> 00:49:54,305
What are you doing?
917
00:49:54,805 --> 00:49:56,368
Hunting.
918
00:49:56,370 --> 00:49:57,739
Hunting for what?
919
00:49:58,404 --> 00:50:00,906
God, it's not 1878.
920
00:50:07,872 --> 00:50:09,301
I wanted to
send you flowers.
921
00:50:09,303 --> 00:50:11,302
What kind of flowers?
922
00:50:11,304 --> 00:50:13,205
Well, give me an address
and you'll find out.
923
00:50:16,205 --> 00:50:17,472
Don't be afraid
of me, Maria.
924
00:50:19,405 --> 00:50:21,105
You and your family,
I give you my word.
925
00:50:22,605 --> 00:50:24,572
Complete and
utter discretion.
926
00:50:26,304 --> 00:50:30,805
Meanwhile...
A gift for you.
927
00:50:38,404 --> 00:50:39,938
Oh, my God.
928
00:50:41,472 --> 00:50:43,069
I can't accept.
They are...
929
00:50:43,071 --> 00:50:45,805
Perfect.
For your hair.
930
00:50:47,105 --> 00:50:48,105
For your eyes.
931
00:50:50,070 --> 00:50:52,137
For your tattoo
my white princess.
932
00:50:56,370 --> 00:50:58,738
That's it. I'm going to
have to tell him the truth.
933
00:50:59,405 --> 00:51:00,869
Don't.
934
00:51:00,871 --> 00:51:02,902
He'll think we were
making fun of him.
935
00:51:02,904 --> 00:51:04,070
I can not afford that.
936
00:51:04,072 --> 00:51:05,706
Come on. Do we have
any money problems?
937
00:51:06,304 --> 00:51:08,870
Absolutely not.
938
00:51:08,872 --> 00:51:13,802
But Monsieur Antoine Bernard and
his museum must have a Caravaggio.
939
00:51:13,804 --> 00:51:15,635
I'm only
too happy to oblige.
940
00:51:15,637 --> 00:51:16,877
That is if it is
the real thing.
941
00:51:21,104 --> 00:51:23,870
We pocket
a kings ransom.
942
00:51:23,872 --> 00:51:25,372
So keep your mouth shout.
943
00:51:44,371 --> 00:51:46,470
Finally,
Doctor Schwiman.
944
00:51:46,472 --> 00:51:49,536
Are you all right? I saw your
text about an emergency.
945
00:51:49,538 --> 00:51:51,802
No, I'm not all right.
I'm about to kill that woman.
946
00:51:51,804 --> 00:51:53,769
What's happening?
You in bed?
947
00:51:53,771 --> 00:51:54,969
Yes, I am.
948
00:51:54,971 --> 00:51:56,737
Well, it's the middle of
the night for you.
949
00:51:56,739 --> 00:51:58,902
Are you going to listen or
just make stupid remarks?
950
00:51:58,904 --> 00:52:00,235
It's the middle
of the night.
951
00:52:00,237 --> 00:52:01,535
See.
952
00:52:01,537 --> 00:52:02,938
Well, if you'd
call back sooner.
953
00:52:04,037 --> 00:52:05,235
Hello, doctor.
954
00:52:05,237 --> 00:52:06,468
Hello, Bob.
955
00:52:06,470 --> 00:52:08,638
Bob, this is
a private consultation.
956
00:52:09,938 --> 00:52:10,939
Please.
957
00:52:14,739 --> 00:52:18,036
Okay. I just...
958
00:52:18,038 --> 00:52:24,302
I mean, you know, I've had to fight my whole
entire life for everything, even men.
959
00:52:24,304 --> 00:52:29,204
How can this woman, this this
maid inspire such feelings?
960
00:52:30,470 --> 00:52:31,735
Go on.
961
00:52:31,737 --> 00:52:32,805
I feel so alone.
962
00:52:34,638 --> 00:52:38,536
You know, even in a crowded room.
I fell lonely, doctor.
963
00:52:38,538 --> 00:52:40,572
Are you serious?
964
00:52:56,739 --> 00:52:58,072
Tell me the truth, Maria.
965
00:53:00,971 --> 00:53:03,069
What is your secret dream?
966
00:53:03,071 --> 00:53:04,271
Everyone's got
a secret dream.
967
00:53:05,572 --> 00:53:07,239
I gave up on dreams you know.
968
00:53:08,138 --> 00:53:09,572
I have simple desires.
969
00:53:11,371 --> 00:53:13,135
I want my daughter
to be happy.
970
00:53:13,137 --> 00:53:15,202
Oh, tell the truth come on.
971
00:53:15,204 --> 00:53:17,803
Everyone's got a project.
You must have a plan.
972
00:53:17,805 --> 00:53:18,806
Well,
973
00:53:21,270 --> 00:53:23,205
it will sound
ridiculous to you.
974
00:53:24,470 --> 00:53:27,068
Sweetheart,
975
00:53:27,070 --> 00:53:30,770
anything you would say to me will
never ever sound ridiculous.
976
00:53:30,772 --> 00:53:32,304
Come on.
What is it?
977
00:53:33,771 --> 00:53:37,305
I would like to invent the
half pack of baking powder.
978
00:53:39,437 --> 00:53:40,535
Baking powder?
979
00:53:40,537 --> 00:53:42,870
Yes. I cook
a lot, you see
980
00:53:42,872 --> 00:53:47,135
and no recipe uses the whole
packet of baking powder. None.
981
00:53:47,137 --> 00:53:49,269
It's always half
of the packet.
982
00:53:49,271 --> 00:53:51,403
Then you leave
the rest in the cupboard.
983
00:53:51,405 --> 00:53:53,537
But you don't use it
never again
984
00:53:53,539 --> 00:53:56,202
because you're afraid
it got spoiled.
985
00:53:56,204 --> 00:53:58,935
Or you're not sure if it's
a real half remaining there,
986
00:53:58,937 --> 00:54:01,368
perhaps more, perhaps it's
less, you know what I mean?
987
00:54:01,370 --> 00:54:03,271
Yeah, yeah, I get
the point. It's...
988
00:54:04,437 --> 00:54:05,536
It's very smart.
989
00:54:05,538 --> 00:54:06,606
Very smart.
990
00:54:07,937 --> 00:54:09,602
You're a very
unusual woman, Maria.
991
00:54:09,604 --> 00:54:11,537
Yes, I am.
992
00:54:11,539 --> 00:54:13,269
Maybe you could
cook for me sometime?
993
00:54:13,271 --> 00:54:14,905
Invite me back
to your place.
994
00:54:15,938 --> 00:54:18,035
You have
that Velazquez.
995
00:54:18,037 --> 00:54:19,605
I could come and
prize it for you.
996
00:54:22,037 --> 00:54:23,935
You could take me
to Madrid.
997
00:54:23,937 --> 00:54:26,069
I could meet
your family.
998
00:54:26,071 --> 00:54:27,570
I'm brilliant
at graveling.
999
00:54:29,104 --> 00:54:32,069
Buenos noches.
1000
00:54:59,970 --> 00:55:02,269
Bonsoir, monsier.
1001
00:55:02,271 --> 00:55:05,438
Bonsoir. Bonsoir.
1002
00:55:14,704 --> 00:55:15,705
Wow.
1003
00:55:19,038 --> 00:55:20,269
What's with the outfit?
1004
00:55:20,271 --> 00:55:22,201
Well, it was
doctor Schwiman's idea.
1005
00:55:22,203 --> 00:55:25,539
It's an exercise to expunge my anger.
Against Maria.
1006
00:55:28,936 --> 00:55:29,937
Are you jealous?
1007
00:55:30,638 --> 00:55:32,072
Oh, God, stop it.
1008
00:55:36,037 --> 00:55:38,137
Anne, you're
a beautiful woman
1009
00:55:39,471 --> 00:55:41,103
but that's not why
I married you.
1010
00:55:41,105 --> 00:55:43,369
Am I not pretty anymore?
1011
00:55:43,371 --> 00:55:47,403
I think you're jealous
because you're insecure.
1012
00:55:47,405 --> 00:55:49,736
Of course, I am.
We never have sex.
1013
00:55:49,738 --> 00:55:51,869
The world is full of
young pretty women.
1014
00:55:51,871 --> 00:55:53,072
And Paris is the worst.
1015
00:55:53,970 --> 00:55:55,069
Shhh...
1016
00:55:55,071 --> 00:55:56,238
Don't shush me.
1017
00:55:57,437 --> 00:55:59,471
We have doctors
orders don't we?
1018
00:56:21,405 --> 00:56:23,635
I must get this.
1019
00:56:31,769 --> 00:56:34,303
Bob, the bank is
breathing down my neck.
1020
00:56:34,305 --> 00:56:36,236
Their accounts are running low.
This is it.
1021
00:56:36,238 --> 00:56:38,604
We really need
the money from the painting.
1022
00:56:38,606 --> 00:56:42,069
How much time do I have?
1023
00:56:42,071 --> 00:56:44,435
A month maybe before
the foreclosure begins.
1024
00:56:44,437 --> 00:56:46,235
I can't do anything else
without you here.
1025
00:57:40,203 --> 00:57:41,204
How was your evening?
1026
00:57:42,270 --> 00:57:43,969
You scared me, madam.
1027
00:57:43,971 --> 00:57:45,370
Is everyone okay?
1028
00:57:45,372 --> 00:57:46,603
You're never up
so early.
1029
00:57:46,605 --> 00:57:47,936
How would you know?
1030
00:57:47,938 --> 00:57:50,868
Well... Sorry. I'm going
to get breakfast ready.
1031
00:57:50,870 --> 00:57:52,204
What's in that bag,
Maria?
1032
00:57:53,138 --> 00:57:54,138
In this one, madam?
1033
00:57:54,670 --> 00:57:55,868
Exactly.
1034
00:57:55,870 --> 00:57:58,435
It's a dress from
the dry cleaners, madam.
1035
00:57:58,437 --> 00:58:00,236
Mmm.
1036
00:58:00,238 --> 00:58:02,101
They gave it back to you like
that with no hanger, no plastic?
1037
00:58:02,103 --> 00:58:04,935
It's for the dry cleaner. I wanted to
take it yesterday but it was closed.
1038
00:58:04,937 --> 00:58:06,603
Really?
1039
00:58:06,605 --> 00:58:08,470
You just said you picked it
up from the dry cleaners.
1040
00:58:08,472 --> 00:58:10,735
Sometimes I get confused
because of my English, madam.
1041
00:58:10,737 --> 00:58:12,236
Oh, no.
1042
00:58:12,238 --> 00:58:13,771
Your English is perfect.
1043
00:58:14,804 --> 00:58:15,901
Let me see the dress.
1044
00:58:15,903 --> 00:58:16,969
This is the one...
1045
00:58:16,971 --> 00:58:17,971
Give me the dress, Maria.
1046
00:58:19,770 --> 00:58:20,771
Yes, madam.
1047
00:58:23,071 --> 00:58:24,436
It's dirty, madam.
1048
00:58:24,438 --> 00:58:26,036
It belongs at
the dry cleaners.
1049
00:58:26,038 --> 00:58:27,635
No.
1050
00:58:27,637 --> 00:58:29,805
It belongs to me. But I
haven't worn it in months.
1051
00:58:31,272 --> 00:58:33,872
And it smells like you with
your cheap vanilla perfume.
1052
00:58:35,572 --> 00:58:36,802
I don't smell anything.
1053
00:58:39,537 --> 00:58:40,905
I trusted you, Maria.
1054
00:58:41,703 --> 00:58:42,935
I sat you at my table.
1055
00:58:42,937 --> 00:58:44,105
I thought you
were honest.
1056
00:58:47,238 --> 00:58:50,068
Just so I know, do you wear my underwear
when he takes you to the hotel?
1057
00:58:50,070 --> 00:58:51,903
I don't understand,
madam.
1058
00:58:51,905 --> 00:58:53,868
You know I hate it
when people cry.
1059
00:58:53,870 --> 00:58:55,734
I'm so sorry.
1060
00:58:55,736 --> 00:58:58,802
Just hurry up. The kids are
going to be late for school.
1061
00:58:58,804 --> 00:59:00,136
I'm so sorry, madam.
1062
00:59:00,138 --> 00:59:01,637
I don't know
what to say.
1063
00:59:02,771 --> 00:59:04,801
I'm in love. And...
1064
00:59:04,803 --> 00:59:06,538
Please just stop it!
1065
00:59:07,570 --> 00:59:10,269
Okay. I am not
your friend.
1066
00:59:10,271 --> 00:59:13,402
Try to put an end
to this nonsense.
1067
00:59:13,404 --> 00:59:17,637
I'm advising you to think of what's
important for you and your daughter.
1068
00:59:18,905 --> 00:59:19,905
Yes, madam.
1069
00:59:20,937 --> 00:59:21,938
How is she by the way?
1070
00:59:23,071 --> 00:59:24,605
Still very well.
Thanks, madam.
1071
00:59:26,371 --> 00:59:29,369
She's got the free style
finals coming up.
1072
00:59:29,371 --> 00:59:32,872
Good. Well, I'm really proud to
pay for such a nice girl study.
1073
00:59:36,637 --> 00:59:37,638
Really.
1074
00:59:39,305 --> 00:59:41,105
I'd hate to have to
be forced to stop.
1075
00:59:44,070 --> 00:59:45,071
Yes, madam.
1076
01:00:00,105 --> 01:00:03,568
Stop with this phone.
He will not call.
1077
01:00:03,570 --> 01:00:05,903
We do not belong
to this world.
1078
01:00:05,905 --> 01:00:07,268
He knows who I am.
1079
01:00:07,270 --> 01:00:11,569
He doesn't know.
But the world does.
1080
01:00:11,571 --> 01:00:13,103
Is that a Filipino saying?
1081
01:00:13,105 --> 01:00:16,235
Maria, we serve,
they eat.
1082
01:00:16,237 --> 01:00:19,102
They don't love
people like you or me.
1083
01:00:19,104 --> 01:00:21,370
We're slaves.
Same as slaves.
1084
01:00:21,372 --> 01:00:23,702
How can you say
such things, Mandy?
1085
01:00:23,704 --> 01:00:25,402
Are you crazy?
1086
01:00:25,404 --> 01:00:27,201
I'm worth as
much as madam.
1087
01:00:27,203 --> 01:00:29,569
Even if I bring
her tea on a tray.
1088
01:00:29,571 --> 01:00:31,068
We are human beings.
1089
01:00:31,070 --> 01:00:32,368
You better
respect yourself.
1090
01:00:32,370 --> 01:00:34,934
We work
for our kids.
1091
01:00:34,936 --> 01:00:36,702
They will be
strong at study.
1092
01:00:36,704 --> 01:00:38,736
But what does
this have to do with love?
1093
01:00:38,738 --> 01:00:40,103
Everything.
1094
01:00:40,105 --> 01:00:42,403
There's no such
thing as love.
1095
01:00:42,405 --> 01:00:43,535
Clean.
1096
01:01:14,370 --> 01:01:18,868
You're showing me the best baker in
Paris as if you know better than I would.
1097
01:01:21,871 --> 01:01:24,035
- Is that right?
- Perfect.
1098
01:01:24,037 --> 01:01:25,371
Let me order
something else.
1099
01:01:32,970 --> 01:01:34,968
How do you say
Lemon tart?
1100
01:01:36,738 --> 01:01:38,468
Non, non, non, non.
We don't, we stop.
1101
01:02:09,103 --> 01:02:14,036
♪ Happy birthday to you
1102
01:02:14,038 --> 01:02:15,272
Happy birthday sweetie.
1103
01:02:17,138 --> 01:02:18,602
Bravo!
Let's play kids.
1104
01:02:18,604 --> 01:02:19,905
Yeah!
1105
01:02:21,803 --> 01:02:23,903
So...
1106
01:02:23,905 --> 01:02:25,634
What do you think?
Boy or a girl?
1107
01:02:25,636 --> 01:02:27,135
Well,
Let me see.
1108
01:02:27,137 --> 01:02:29,104
You're trying to play
a trick on me here.
1109
01:02:31,137 --> 01:02:33,135
I can feel.
1110
01:02:33,137 --> 01:02:34,801
There's twins
in there, no?
1111
01:02:34,803 --> 01:02:35,969
Oh, my God!
1112
01:02:35,971 --> 01:02:37,069
It's unbelievable.
1113
01:02:37,071 --> 01:02:38,636
I told you she was amazing.
1114
01:02:38,638 --> 01:02:40,469
When there is two I can not
tell if there is boy or a girl.
1115
01:02:40,471 --> 01:02:42,303
Isn't it better
than ultrasound.
1116
01:02:42,305 --> 01:02:44,138
One of you is worried.
1117
01:02:45,304 --> 01:02:46,804
One of you is in love.
1118
01:02:47,703 --> 01:02:49,303
You don't have to worry.
1119
01:02:49,305 --> 01:02:51,735
He's going to call and ask
you away for the weekend.
1120
01:02:51,737 --> 01:02:53,704
Finally, Georges Clooney
is going to call me.
1121
01:02:54,537 --> 01:02:55,836
What else?
1122
01:02:55,838 --> 01:02:58,467
Well, you should go.
You should say yes.
1123
01:02:58,469 --> 01:03:02,601
Life wasn't always nice to you and
will not always be so enjoy now.
1124
01:03:02,603 --> 01:03:04,236
I don't know who
she's talking to
1125
01:03:04,238 --> 01:03:05,469
but one of you is going
to have a nice weekend.
1126
01:03:05,471 --> 01:03:07,135
Maybe it's you.
1127
01:03:07,137 --> 01:03:10,435
The woman I'm talking about
knows exactly who she is.
1128
01:03:10,437 --> 01:03:12,702
Should we open
the presents, madam?
1129
01:03:12,704 --> 01:03:14,204
Are you drunk, Maria?
1130
01:04:46,704 --> 01:04:48,638
You Americans and guns.
We can't fight it.
1131
01:04:50,638 --> 01:04:52,202
Well,
1132
01:04:52,204 --> 01:04:54,935
they give us guns at ten so
we're not tempted to play with
1133
01:04:54,937 --> 01:04:56,537
the toy pistol
between our legs.
1134
01:04:57,204 --> 01:04:58,204
And does it work?
1135
01:04:59,636 --> 01:05:00,637
The guilt works.
1136
01:05:02,138 --> 01:05:04,705
I always have a little
guilt when I'm having sex.
1137
01:05:05,904 --> 01:05:07,404
How delicious
that must be.
1138
01:05:09,037 --> 01:05:10,270
You must tell me
all about it.
1139
01:05:33,403 --> 01:05:34,538
Et voila.
1140
01:05:36,904 --> 01:05:38,371
Oh, it's so beautiful.
1141
01:05:39,370 --> 01:05:40,470
Is it a hotel?
1142
01:05:41,236 --> 01:05:42,637
No, my dear.
It is not.
1143
01:05:47,536 --> 01:05:49,470
I want you to witness
my big announcement.
1144
01:05:50,404 --> 01:05:51,802
Check.
1145
01:05:51,804 --> 01:05:52,871
I'm going
to get you.
1146
01:05:57,403 --> 01:05:58,869
What has got
into you?
1147
01:05:58,871 --> 01:06:02,036
Let's have sex.
Or let's run away.
1148
01:06:02,038 --> 01:06:03,502
We can have
sex tonight.
1149
01:06:03,504 --> 01:06:05,770
And we can run away tomorrow.
Now, come on.
1150
01:06:07,438 --> 01:06:09,468
What I like about
chess is the vision.
1151
01:06:09,470 --> 01:06:12,404
You know where you're going.
But nobody else has a clue.
1152
01:06:14,104 --> 01:06:16,471
There is no such thing
as vision in chess.
1153
01:06:17,471 --> 01:06:18,638
Only options.
1154
01:06:20,403 --> 01:06:24,567
Well, I have my own little
shortcuts, my little lucky tricks.
1155
01:06:24,569 --> 01:06:26,134
Lay there for a minute
and smell the flowers.
1156
01:06:26,136 --> 01:06:27,271
What is going on?
1157
01:06:28,604 --> 01:06:29,871
I can't go in there.
1158
01:06:32,938 --> 01:06:34,135
Are you ashamed of me?
1159
01:06:34,137 --> 01:06:35,203
Of course not.
1160
01:06:35,903 --> 01:06:37,868
David,
you know me.
1161
01:06:37,870 --> 01:06:39,768
You know who I am.
1162
01:06:39,770 --> 01:06:42,237
I can not mix with these people.
I can't.
1163
01:06:44,537 --> 01:06:45,538
Darling, Maria.
1164
01:06:46,638 --> 01:06:49,069
It is the 21st century,
1165
01:06:49,071 --> 01:06:51,704
Queen Elizabeth has
dinner with Jay Z.
1166
01:06:53,135 --> 01:06:54,601
Come on, let's go.
1167
01:06:54,603 --> 01:06:59,302
Stefan Zweig said that
he loved chess because
1168
01:06:59,304 --> 01:07:01,905
it had nothing
to do with luck.
1169
01:07:04,136 --> 01:07:05,971
Maria! Maria!
1170
01:07:07,938 --> 01:07:10,701
They're going to be caught
believe me.
1171
01:07:10,703 --> 01:07:12,237
- Maria!
- Maria!
1172
01:07:13,303 --> 01:07:15,201
Ah!
1173
01:07:15,203 --> 01:07:17,363
You're amazing. Does every
child in the world love you?
1174
01:07:18,269 --> 01:07:20,070
Let's play.
1175
01:07:23,304 --> 01:07:25,769
Gentlemen, if I can have
your attention please,
1176
01:07:25,771 --> 01:07:27,434
I bring news
from London.
1177
01:07:27,436 --> 01:07:29,968
Your painting has
been authentified.
1178
01:07:29,970 --> 01:07:31,435
Hallelujah.
1179
01:07:31,437 --> 01:07:32,972
Congratulations,
mon vieux.
1180
01:07:34,070 --> 01:07:35,071
Thank you.
1181
01:07:44,437 --> 01:07:46,404
We have many things
to celebrate today.
1182
01:07:48,904 --> 01:07:50,204
First, our friendship.
1183
01:07:51,069 --> 01:07:52,103
To our wives.
1184
01:07:53,102 --> 01:07:54,702
To our families.
1185
01:07:54,704 --> 01:07:56,568
And let's not forget,
1186
01:07:56,570 --> 01:07:58,903
Michelangelo
Merisi da Caravaggio.
1187
01:07:58,905 --> 01:08:00,234
That rogue.
1188
01:08:00,236 --> 01:08:01,871
A master fornicator.
1189
01:08:02,870 --> 01:08:03,904
At least he had fun.
1190
01:08:06,203 --> 01:08:07,736
Taste it.
1191
01:08:07,738 --> 01:08:11,104
It's one of the greatest wines
in the world. Bourgogne.
1192
01:08:12,404 --> 01:08:15,938
To life.
1193
01:08:16,737 --> 01:08:18,969
Thank you.
1194
01:08:18,971 --> 01:08:22,969
They are both with the nice Portuguese
nanny going down for a nap.
1195
01:08:22,971 --> 01:08:24,571
Thank you so much.
1196
01:08:25,103 --> 01:08:26,301
Oh, my gosh,
1197
01:08:26,303 --> 01:08:28,768
you must have the magic touch.
Shazam.
1198
01:08:28,770 --> 01:08:31,201
Maria,
tell us about yourself.
1199
01:08:31,203 --> 01:08:33,571
The mysterious woman
who stole David's heart.
1200
01:08:34,937 --> 01:08:36,568
Or his liver.
1201
01:08:36,570 --> 01:08:38,368
His heart is
difficult to steal.
1202
01:08:40,236 --> 01:08:43,033
Yeah, my heart is easy to
steal but it's hard to hold.
1203
01:08:43,035 --> 01:08:44,769
I'm Irish, after all.
1204
01:08:44,771 --> 01:08:47,601
When did the Irish become experts
in the affairs of heart?
1205
01:08:47,603 --> 01:08:49,437
They're supposed
to be happy drunks.
1206
01:08:50,738 --> 01:08:52,202
The French do adultery.
1207
01:08:52,204 --> 01:08:54,367
And the English do
spanky, spanky.
1208
01:08:54,369 --> 01:08:56,068
And the Americans,
1209
01:08:56,070 --> 01:08:58,201
they have sex like they're
invading a third world country
1210
01:08:58,203 --> 01:08:59,602
and didn't have to
pay for it afterwords.
1211
01:08:59,604 --> 01:09:01,401
I can explain it.
1212
01:09:01,403 --> 01:09:05,235
In France we choose adultery so we can
stay married to our beloved wives.
1213
01:09:05,237 --> 01:09:09,369
The English, well, after 20
years of getting punished
1214
01:09:09,371 --> 01:09:11,234
in boarding schools,
1215
01:09:11,236 --> 01:09:13,735
fighting their
homosexual feelings,
1216
01:09:13,737 --> 01:09:15,902
they only have the guts
to speak to one girl.
1217
01:09:15,904 --> 01:09:18,104
That's it. They're
settled for life.
1218
01:09:19,471 --> 01:09:20,872
What do you think, Maria?
1219
01:09:22,037 --> 01:09:24,868
Oh, well, I am an
old fashion Spanish.
1220
01:09:24,870 --> 01:09:28,469
I do believe marriage is
an important matter.
1221
01:09:28,471 --> 01:09:30,367
So you don't lie to anyone?
1222
01:09:30,369 --> 01:09:31,634
Interesting.
1223
01:09:31,636 --> 01:09:33,269
She's adorable.
1224
01:09:33,271 --> 01:09:34,768
It's like you're from the
19th century or something.
1225
01:09:34,770 --> 01:09:37,069
Because you think women
were pure back then?
1226
01:09:37,071 --> 01:09:38,368
Did you ever read
a book, David?
1227
01:09:38,370 --> 01:09:40,267
Yes, I'm nearly finished
coloring it in.
1228
01:09:40,269 --> 01:09:42,737
Seriously. Vice has
been around since,
1229
01:09:43,538 --> 01:09:45,202
human beings themselves.
1230
01:09:45,204 --> 01:09:47,605
And made it an excuse
to invent virtue.
1231
01:09:48,804 --> 01:09:51,538
So, Anne, tell me.
1232
01:09:52,270 --> 01:09:53,636
How did you meet Maria?
1233
01:09:53,638 --> 01:09:54,735
She won't tell me.
1234
01:09:54,737 --> 01:09:56,635
Oh, no.
1235
01:09:56,637 --> 01:09:59,435
These two are very secretive
about their friendship.
1236
01:09:59,437 --> 01:10:01,102
I don't even
know when they met.
1237
01:10:01,104 --> 01:10:02,805
Why such a mystery?
1238
01:10:06,203 --> 01:10:07,203
I am their maid.
1239
01:10:09,936 --> 01:10:13,237
I have been cleaning their
underwear and their toilets.
1240
01:10:14,404 --> 01:10:18,471
For about, what,
ten years now, madam?
1241
01:10:21,902 --> 01:10:25,067
No, no. We traveled when
we were young together.
1242
01:10:25,069 --> 01:10:27,300
And we ate at all the
finest restaurants.
1243
01:10:27,302 --> 01:10:31,568
Tell me, did you eat at Alain Ducasse's
new restaurant in Italy yet, L'Andana?
1244
01:10:31,570 --> 01:10:35,867
Oh, my God, you must absolutely go there.
The meat is amazing.
1245
01:10:35,869 --> 01:10:40,469
How can you eat so much
and stay that thin?
1246
01:10:40,471 --> 01:10:42,104
She was
always like that.
1247
01:10:42,937 --> 01:10:44,402
She was born like that.
1248
01:10:44,404 --> 01:10:46,203
Beautiful. Never ages.
1249
01:10:47,303 --> 01:10:48,900
She's a mystery.
1250
01:10:48,902 --> 01:10:51,602
Thank you, darling.
1251
01:10:51,604 --> 01:10:53,371
When are you going
back to New York?
1252
01:10:53,803 --> 01:10:54,805
Soon.
1253
01:10:56,703 --> 01:10:58,103
Are we...
Are you leaving?
1254
01:10:59,604 --> 01:11:00,605
Yes.
1255
01:11:01,737 --> 01:11:03,435
Fun's over.
1256
01:11:03,437 --> 01:11:05,535
There's an investment bank
in New York I have to kill.
1257
01:11:05,537 --> 01:11:06,967
And I'm going
back to packing.
1258
01:11:06,969 --> 01:11:10,267
I'm taking the kids,
the staff and heading home.
1259
01:11:10,269 --> 01:11:11,749
But that doesn't
change your feelings?
1260
01:11:13,770 --> 01:11:15,471
What's a few miles
between friends.
1261
01:11:28,936 --> 01:11:29,937
Oh, Maria.
1262
01:11:33,370 --> 01:11:35,968
Do you realize what a mess we're
in because of your behavior?
1263
01:11:35,970 --> 01:11:37,605
I've never asked
for anything, madam.
1264
01:11:39,869 --> 01:11:40,871
He just...
1265
01:11:41,971 --> 01:11:43,603
Well, it's good
you didn't ask.
1266
01:11:43,605 --> 01:11:46,535
You're a housekeeper,
not a prostitute.
1267
01:11:46,537 --> 01:11:49,602
It's not what you
think it is, madam.
1268
01:11:49,604 --> 01:11:51,801
He's deeply
in love with me.
1269
01:11:51,803 --> 01:11:53,637
True love.
He told me.
1270
01:11:54,970 --> 01:11:56,904
The way he holds me
during the night.
1271
01:11:57,903 --> 01:11:59,601
The way he
looks at me.
1272
01:11:59,603 --> 01:12:00,934
Maria,
just listen to me.
1273
01:12:00,936 --> 01:12:02,201
Anne,
I beg you.
1274
01:12:02,203 --> 01:12:04,135
Don't call me Anne.
1275
01:12:04,137 --> 01:12:07,102
You abused my kindness.
And you lied to me.
1276
01:12:07,104 --> 01:12:10,134
I just did what you
asked me to do, madam.
1277
01:12:10,136 --> 01:12:11,767
I sat at
that table.
1278
01:12:11,769 --> 01:12:12,935
Because you
asked me to.
1279
01:12:12,937 --> 01:12:14,535
Look, I don't
want to hurt you.
1280
01:12:14,537 --> 01:12:16,868
I know your life is hard.
1281
01:12:16,870 --> 01:12:18,435
But you're playing
out of your league.
1282
01:12:18,437 --> 01:12:20,434
How do you know?
1283
01:12:20,436 --> 01:12:22,571
How can I explain this without
hurting your feelings.
1284
01:12:24,738 --> 01:12:27,402
This is not your world.
1285
01:12:27,404 --> 01:12:31,135
If your opinions were really
interesting, substantial,
1286
01:12:31,137 --> 01:12:33,804
if they had any impact
or real interest,
1287
01:12:34,703 --> 01:12:35,870
why would you be a maid?
1288
01:12:37,471 --> 01:12:38,967
Because I am a
Spanish immigrant.
1289
01:12:38,969 --> 01:12:40,702
I had no options,
madam.
1290
01:12:40,704 --> 01:12:42,801
Cervantes, El Bulli,
1291
01:12:42,803 --> 01:12:45,100
Almodovar,
Antonio Banderas.
1292
01:12:45,102 --> 01:12:47,142
They're all Spanish and
they're not maids, are they?
1293
01:12:47,803 --> 01:12:49,438
He loves me, madam.
1294
01:12:51,237 --> 01:12:53,403
Perhaps you should
believe in love too.
1295
01:14:21,371 --> 01:14:23,568
You in love.
1296
01:14:23,570 --> 01:14:26,235
You sing and
you don't eat.
1297
01:14:26,237 --> 01:14:27,536
I eat.
1298
01:14:27,538 --> 01:14:28,538
Just not so much.
1299
01:14:29,369 --> 01:14:31,437
That's how it starts.
1300
01:14:46,369 --> 01:14:48,535
Filthy genius.
I read it.
1301
01:14:48,537 --> 01:14:49,734
- Uh, ha.
- Tell me it's true?
1302
01:14:49,736 --> 01:14:50,867
It's all true.
1303
01:14:50,869 --> 01:14:52,367
Just like the first one.
1304
01:14:52,369 --> 01:14:54,068
Only this time, it's not
Anne and my father.
1305
01:14:54,070 --> 01:14:55,301
It's Anne and the maid.
1306
01:14:55,303 --> 01:14:56,802
Totally cool.
1307
01:14:56,804 --> 01:14:58,104
And you know what?
Political.
1308
01:14:58,802 --> 01:14:59,803
How does it end?
1309
01:15:01,104 --> 01:15:02,104
Who knows?
1310
01:15:02,736 --> 01:15:03,770
Badly.
1311
01:15:04,370 --> 01:15:05,371
Join me.
1312
01:15:23,103 --> 01:15:24,104
David!
1313
01:15:26,603 --> 01:15:27,700
How are you?
1314
01:15:27,702 --> 01:15:28,704
Hello, Anne.
1315
01:15:30,904 --> 01:15:34,934
This is so funny because I wanted to
organize a double date with my friend.
1316
01:15:34,936 --> 01:15:37,302
Remember the pretty brunette
from our dinner party? Jane.
1317
01:15:37,304 --> 01:15:38,734
Oh, yeah.
1318
01:15:38,736 --> 01:15:40,701
I know. She can seem a little
boring at the beginning
1319
01:15:40,703 --> 01:15:42,202
but she's just
a little lonely.
1320
01:15:42,204 --> 01:15:43,867
What with her divorce
and trying to figure out
1321
01:15:43,869 --> 01:15:46,201
what to do with
all her millions.
1322
01:15:46,203 --> 01:15:48,034
I hear she's
a real tornado in bed.
1323
01:15:49,869 --> 01:15:52,635
Anne, I think you're getting me confused
with, with some sort of gigolo.
1324
01:15:52,637 --> 01:15:54,067
I'm just a humble academic.
1325
01:15:54,069 --> 01:15:56,135
I hear you have
other talents.
1326
01:15:56,137 --> 01:15:57,734
Maybe I could take
you out some night.
1327
01:15:57,736 --> 01:16:01,234
Why not, when my beloved
husband is out of town.
1328
01:16:01,236 --> 01:16:03,700
But in the meantime, I'll
get the details from Jane.
1329
01:16:03,702 --> 01:16:05,234
Maria hasn't
already told you?
1330
01:16:05,236 --> 01:16:06,300
Maria?
1331
01:16:06,302 --> 01:16:07,501
Oh, my God.
1332
01:16:07,503 --> 01:16:08,767
I thought that
nightmare was over.
1333
01:16:08,769 --> 01:16:10,234
I feel terrible.
I wanted to call you.
1334
01:16:10,236 --> 01:16:12,901
I just... I thought
things would end quickly.
1335
01:16:12,903 --> 01:16:14,701
I surprised myself
to be honest.
1336
01:16:14,703 --> 01:16:18,600
But what can I say.
She beguiles me.
1337
01:16:18,602 --> 01:16:21,633
Look. I held back because
I'm a nice person.
1338
01:16:21,635 --> 01:16:23,202
There's something
I have to tell you.
1339
01:16:23,204 --> 01:16:25,201
But should remain
between us.
1340
01:16:25,203 --> 01:16:27,101
Nobody should
be embarrassed.
1341
01:16:33,936 --> 01:16:35,035
I'm so sorry.
1342
01:16:35,037 --> 01:16:36,600
It's so good
to see you.
1343
01:16:36,602 --> 01:16:38,067
I'll call you. Okay.
1344
01:16:38,069 --> 01:16:39,070
Okay.
1345
01:16:43,270 --> 01:16:44,936
No!
1346
01:16:50,471 --> 01:16:51,471
Not too tight.
1347
01:16:57,902 --> 01:16:59,003
All done.
1348
01:16:59,437 --> 01:17:00,534
Okay.
1349
01:17:05,371 --> 01:17:06,371
No, I'm fine.
1350
01:17:08,370 --> 01:17:09,469
Oh, God.
1351
01:17:40,802 --> 01:17:43,770
Hello, you've reached David Morgan.
Please leave a message.
1352
01:17:45,936 --> 01:17:48,370
Hi David.
It's me Maria.
1353
01:17:50,737 --> 01:17:52,937
Nothing.
I hope you're doing well.
1354
01:17:53,735 --> 01:17:55,103
I sent you a message.
1355
01:17:58,970 --> 01:18:00,371
I hope you received them.
1356
01:18:01,236 --> 01:18:02,237
And nothing...
1357
01:18:04,136 --> 01:18:05,137
Call me back.
1358
01:18:08,203 --> 01:18:09,203
Take care.
1359
01:18:44,371 --> 01:18:46,234
Maybe something
bad happen to him.
1360
01:18:46,236 --> 01:18:48,235
I don't know,
an accident.
1361
01:18:48,237 --> 01:18:49,635
I know what kind
of accident
1362
01:18:49,637 --> 01:18:51,701
happened to man
that never call back.
1363
01:18:51,703 --> 01:18:53,267
It's an accident
with boobs.
1364
01:18:53,269 --> 01:18:55,034
But it's not possible.
1365
01:18:55,036 --> 01:18:56,733
He was so
in love with me.
1366
01:18:56,735 --> 01:18:59,204
You don't send text.
You wait.
1367
01:19:00,137 --> 01:19:02,300
She's right.
In French we say
1368
01:19:03,570 --> 01:19:04,968
Make him run.
1369
01:19:06,969 --> 01:19:07,970
Which means...
1370
01:19:09,736 --> 01:19:10,737
I don't know.
1371
01:20:06,271 --> 01:20:09,568
No, Bob it's not
very professional.
1372
01:20:09,570 --> 01:20:11,237
Quasimodo's not watching.
1373
01:20:12,970 --> 01:20:14,467
Quasimodo would
like this.
1374
01:20:33,204 --> 01:20:34,968
You know, Maria,
1375
01:20:34,970 --> 01:20:38,867
I can feel you're embarrassed
with everything that's happened
1376
01:20:38,869 --> 01:20:41,302
but I want you to know you're
still important in this house.
1377
01:20:43,301 --> 01:20:47,068
I've spoken with Bob and we're
giving you a raise for Christmas.
1378
01:20:47,070 --> 01:20:49,400
Thank you, madam. But it
will not be unnecessary.
1379
01:20:49,402 --> 01:20:51,167
Oh, nonsense.
1380
01:20:51,169 --> 01:20:53,734
Now will you bring tea and cake
for two in the salon, please.
1381
01:20:53,736 --> 01:20:54,737
Yes, madam.
1382
01:22:01,870 --> 01:22:04,901
After all, you've suddenly
got all that wall space.
1383
01:22:04,903 --> 01:22:07,934
I was thinking if you wanted
to stick to the 17th century.
1384
01:22:07,936 --> 01:22:09,437
There is this.
1385
01:22:10,469 --> 01:22:11,967
Oh, it's stunning.
1386
01:22:11,969 --> 01:22:13,067
Yeah?
1387
01:22:13,069 --> 01:22:14,968
Oh, it really is.
1388
01:22:14,970 --> 01:22:18,633
But Christie's are having a sale in
London in a couple of weeks time.
1389
01:22:18,635 --> 01:22:21,135
You can go modern maybe
pick up a Delacroix.
1390
01:22:26,235 --> 01:22:28,801
- Oh, my God. It's beautiful.
- Isn't it.
1391
01:22:28,803 --> 01:22:30,468
I don't even
know what to say.
1392
01:22:30,470 --> 01:22:32,368
I have to show Bob.
1393
01:22:32,370 --> 01:22:33,868
Oh, is he not here?
Is he away?
1394
01:22:33,870 --> 01:22:35,934
He's at his
French lesson.
1395
01:22:35,936 --> 01:22:38,934
His accent
is hilarious.
1396
01:22:38,936 --> 01:22:42,533
Oh, yeah. Paris has
been great for us.
1397
01:22:42,535 --> 01:22:44,603
We walk like we were
when we first met.
1398
01:22:46,303 --> 01:22:47,403
Congratulations.
1399
01:23:59,069 --> 01:24:00,202
Bye, Steven.
1400
01:24:01,870 --> 01:24:02,871
Bye, Maria.
1401
01:24:04,136 --> 01:24:05,136
Take care.
1402
01:24:27,903 --> 01:24:29,103
Did you find
your ending?
1403
01:24:30,869 --> 01:24:32,102
I'm not sure yet.
1404
01:24:35,270 --> 01:24:36,270
You know something?
1405
01:24:38,637 --> 01:24:40,036
A woman I was
fond of once,
1406
01:24:41,236 --> 01:24:43,102
told me not to
despise people.
1407
01:24:45,469 --> 01:24:47,770
That people love
happy endings.
1408
01:24:49,702 --> 01:24:50,703
They can't fight it.
1409
01:24:52,570 --> 01:24:54,467
The hero runs.
1410
01:24:54,469 --> 01:24:55,871
He kisses her
in the rain.
1411
01:24:59,236 --> 01:25:00,237
People love it.
1412
01:25:05,736 --> 01:25:06,736
Really?
1413
01:25:11,537 --> 01:25:12,537
People.
1414
01:26:16,677 --> 01:26:21,677
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