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♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
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(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)
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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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Careful.
5
00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:13,303
Ryan.
6
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,128
I don't think I know how to French kiss
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and I need you to teach me.
8
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Okay.
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Teach you how?
10
00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:23,838
Well, demonstrate.
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Kiss me and show me how it's done.
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00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:26,688
Okay.
13
00:00:26,690 --> 00:00:29,578
Wait, shouldn't you be doing
this with your girlfriend?
14
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Oh, Evan?
15
00:00:31,210 --> 00:00:32,888
She's too polite to tell me
16
00:00:32,890 --> 00:00:34,808
that my kissing skills could improve
17
00:00:34,810 --> 00:00:36,941
but I know she wants me to be better.
18
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Yeah.
19
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:39,188
Did she say something to you?
20
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What?
21
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:41,078
No.
22
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:41,911
No.
23
00:00:41,913 --> 00:00:43,848
She said nothing to be about
you being a bad kisser.
24
00:00:43,850 --> 00:00:45,228
She said I was a bad kisser?
25
00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:46,680
She didn't but
26
00:00:47,610 --> 00:00:49,468
okay, let's practice.
27
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Kiss me like you kiss her.
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(MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC)
29
00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:00,327
How was I?
30
00:01:00,329 --> 00:01:01,162
Great.
31
00:01:02,989 --> 00:01:04,517
I am a bad kisser.
32
00:01:04,519 --> 00:01:07,447
Maybe you should open
your mouth a little.
33
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Relax your lips.
34
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You wanna go from here to here.
35
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Okay.
36
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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
37
00:01:22,059 --> 00:01:23,187
Okay, it's like you're pecking
38
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Like, "mwuah, mwuah," little kisses.
39
00:01:25,939 --> 00:01:30,027
Which is super sweet if
that's what you're into.
40
00:01:30,029 --> 00:01:31,887
But that's no good.
41
00:01:31,889 --> 00:01:33,797
It's sort of like an extended version
42
00:01:33,799 --> 00:01:35,262
of kissing your sister.
43
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Ew.
44
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Yeah, it's not hot.
45
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Listen,
46
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open your mouth, relax your lips,
47
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follow my lead.
48
00:01:55,268 --> 00:01:58,268
(SOMBER BEAT MUSIC)
49
00:02:07,196 --> 00:02:09,837
Wow, that was amazing, is
that how it's supposed to be?
50
00:02:09,839 --> 00:02:10,757
Yes.
51
00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:11,947
You probably should've figured that out
52
00:02:11,949 --> 00:02:13,157
when you were like 13.
53
00:02:13,159 --> 00:02:16,227
I wasn't kissing a lot
of girls when I was 13.
54
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That's what boys are for.
55
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Lifting heavy boxes and
practicing making out.
56
00:02:20,229 --> 00:02:22,287
Oh, you're a wizard, I
can't wait to show Evan.
57
00:02:22,289 --> 00:02:23,817
Or is that too much?
58
00:02:23,819 --> 00:02:25,777
Definitely try it on Evan.
59
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:26,612
She'll love it.
60
00:02:29,139 --> 00:02:33,057
So, this has been super
fun and not at all boring
61
00:02:33,059 --> 00:02:35,332
but I'm gonna go mingle.
62
00:02:36,293 --> 00:02:37,507
Why don't you go find Evan
63
00:02:37,509 --> 00:02:39,487
and show her all this fun
stuff I just taught you.
64
00:02:39,489 --> 00:02:40,320
Are you kidding?
65
00:02:40,322 --> 00:02:41,552
I have so many questions.
66
00:02:43,959 --> 00:02:45,263
Oh, look, my drink is almost gone.
67
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:46,327
Why don't you get me another one
68
00:02:46,329 --> 00:02:49,786
and I'll go talk to people who aren't you.
69
00:02:51,579 --> 00:02:52,412
Ryan,
70
00:02:54,459 --> 00:02:56,697
you're the best friend a girl could have.
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Thanks.
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00:02:58,219 --> 00:02:59,052
I know.
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(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)
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00:03:20,728 --> 00:03:22,728
Why are we hiding away from the world?
75
00:03:25,686 --> 00:03:27,346
Because I have the good shit.
76
00:03:27,348 --> 00:03:29,116
Out there, they have snickelfritz,
77
00:03:29,118 --> 00:03:33,246
and this, this is 27 year old
small batch Kentucky bourbon.
78
00:03:33,248 --> 00:03:34,866
And I don't like to share.
79
00:03:34,868 --> 00:03:35,986
Ever.
80
00:03:35,988 --> 00:03:37,238
You're sharing with me.
81
00:03:38,506 --> 00:03:40,876
That's because I'm one
generous motherfucker.
82
00:03:40,878 --> 00:03:42,671
I'm a god unto my people.
83
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:46,746
This is older than I am.
84
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:47,966
How expensive is this?
85
00:03:47,968 --> 00:03:48,799
Very.
86
00:03:48,801 --> 00:03:50,509
Costs more than your dignity.
87
00:03:50,511 --> 00:03:51,926
Well that's not saying much.
88
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Skol.
89
00:03:53,121 --> 00:03:56,288
Of course it is, it's got ice in it.
90
00:03:57,398 --> 00:03:58,466
Hey, lezlords.
91
00:03:58,468 --> 00:03:59,836
Hate to break up the gay-gay meeting
92
00:03:59,838 --> 00:04:02,611
but your girlfriend is out
there making out with Ryan.
93
00:04:03,478 --> 00:04:04,766
Really?
94
00:04:04,768 --> 00:04:07,386
I think she's giving her
kissing lessons out of pity.
95
00:04:07,388 --> 00:04:08,936
Good, let's hope it works.
96
00:04:08,938 --> 00:04:10,426
It's really sad though.
97
00:04:10,428 --> 00:04:11,886
You might wanna get out there and stop her
98
00:04:11,888 --> 00:04:14,406
before she embarrasses herself anymore.
99
00:04:14,408 --> 00:04:15,241
Okay.
100
00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:22,960
Listen, my dad gave this
to me when I quit smoking.
101
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:24,646
Very expensive.
102
00:04:24,648 --> 00:04:26,648
Guard it with your life.
103
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Evan, you never quit smoking.
104
00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:32,888
He doesn't know that.
105
00:04:35,312 --> 00:04:36,472
You're beautiful.
106
00:04:36,474 --> 00:04:37,557
Never change.
107
00:04:39,018 --> 00:04:40,611
Hey, you wanna get fucked up?
108
00:04:41,526 --> 00:04:43,087
Yeah.
109
00:04:43,089 --> 00:04:44,901
TRISTA: Cool.
110
00:04:44,903 --> 00:04:45,736
Have fun.
111
00:04:50,118 --> 00:04:52,109
(THUDDING)
112
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(UPBEAT MUSIC)
113
00:05:12,029 --> 00:05:17,029
♪ Make your feelings lie like a feather ♪
114
00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:25,561
♪ Don't let it harden
in this cold weather ♪
115
00:05:27,521 --> 00:05:31,427
♪ We can be better friends ♪
116
00:05:31,429 --> 00:05:33,457
♪ I'm falling ♪
117
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:36,075
♪ It's not our end ♪
118
00:05:36,077 --> 00:05:40,895
♪ You will see when we leave ♪
119
00:05:40,897 --> 00:05:44,829
♪ Together ♪
120
00:05:44,831 --> 00:05:47,914
(MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC)
121
00:05:52,289 --> 00:05:53,120
Hi.
122
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Excuse me.
(GASPING)
123
00:05:54,726 --> 00:05:56,976
(LAUGHING)
124
00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:58,690
Excuse me, miss.
125
00:06:00,687 --> 00:06:03,625
I'd be careful walking around
with two premium beverages
126
00:06:03,627 --> 00:06:05,325
when this party's down to
six-pack of wine coolers
127
00:06:05,327 --> 00:06:06,565
and a bottle of Maneschewitz.
128
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:09,050
We could attract some
unsavory characters.
129
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:13,515
Whose premium cocktail am I drinking?
130
00:06:13,517 --> 00:06:14,810
Let me guess.
131
00:06:15,956 --> 00:06:16,787
The spoiled little rich girl
132
00:06:16,789 --> 00:06:20,195
whose external locus of identity
needs constant validation?
133
00:06:20,197 --> 00:06:22,995
BRIDGET: Validation is
for parking, not people.
134
00:06:22,997 --> 00:06:24,728
Maybe the nurse practitioner
and soon-to-be divorcee
135
00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:28,205
who readily expounds upon the
virtues of anarcho-capitalism.
136
00:06:28,207 --> 00:06:29,855
I once dabbled in anarchism myself.
137
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,445
Bear in mind I was 15
and obsessed with Crass.
138
00:06:32,447 --> 00:06:34,365
Say what you will about the
convenience of its tenets,
139
00:06:34,367 --> 00:06:35,720
but at least it's an ethos.
140
00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:38,192
Perhaps you'd go for
the very emo Jewish girl
141
00:06:38,194 --> 00:06:40,965
in the back room who's in
dire need of companionship.
142
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:43,735
At least now we know who
brought the Manischewitz.
143
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:44,568
What type are you?
144
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,207
I hate to break it to you, miss,
145
00:06:47,077 --> 00:06:49,695
but I am completely unavailable.
146
00:06:49,697 --> 00:06:50,585
How unfortunate.
147
00:06:50,587 --> 00:06:51,875
Who is the lucky lady?
148
00:06:51,877 --> 00:06:52,708
Forgive me,
149
00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:55,910
I assume it's a women of
whom you are speaking.
150
00:06:56,977 --> 00:06:58,305
No apology necessary.
151
00:06:58,307 --> 00:07:02,244
And yes it is a beautiful,
brilliant, remarkable woman.
152
00:07:02,246 --> 00:07:03,077
Tell me more.
153
00:07:03,079 --> 00:07:04,484
Blonde hair, blue eyes,
154
00:07:04,486 --> 00:07:06,794
about yeah high.
155
00:07:06,796 --> 00:07:10,144
She's a medieval scholar
specializing in Dark Ages weaponry.
156
00:07:10,146 --> 00:07:11,924
She does sound remarkable
157
00:07:11,926 --> 00:07:13,574
and also very familiar.
158
00:07:13,576 --> 00:07:14,407
Maybe you know her.
159
00:07:14,409 --> 00:07:15,724
Her name is Bridget.
160
00:07:15,726 --> 00:07:16,814
That's my name.
161
00:07:16,816 --> 00:07:17,814
She's supposed to be here tonight
162
00:07:17,816 --> 00:07:19,704
but I can't seem to find her.
163
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:20,914
Oh, this could be dangerous.
164
00:07:20,916 --> 00:07:22,304
She might see me flirting with you.
165
00:07:22,306 --> 00:07:23,874
Then what?
166
00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:26,154
Well, I'm sure she wouldn't
want me taking what's hers.
167
00:07:26,156 --> 00:07:28,094
I suppose I should seize
the opportunity now
168
00:07:28,096 --> 00:07:29,233
and kiss you while I can.
169
00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:31,574
I wouldn't want to
put you in harm's way.
170
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:34,163
I think you're worth the risk.
171
00:07:34,165 --> 00:07:37,415
(MUFFLED UPBEAT MUSIC)
172
00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:45,465
Yes, yes.
173
00:07:46,602 --> 00:07:50,167
♪ A future far away ♪
174
00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:53,654
♪ I'm traveling to the unknown ♪
175
00:07:53,656 --> 00:07:57,587
♪ To make sure you will see another day ♪
176
00:07:57,589 --> 00:08:00,869
(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)
177
00:08:00,871 --> 00:08:05,871
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
178
00:08:07,985 --> 00:08:12,985
♪ I would pave new frontiers for you ♪
179
00:08:15,111 --> 00:08:20,111
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
180
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:27,250
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
181
00:08:27,346 --> 00:08:30,256
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
182
00:08:30,258 --> 00:08:34,227
♪ Through complication ♪
183
00:08:34,229 --> 00:08:37,050
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
184
00:08:37,052 --> 00:08:41,341
♪ Through the unknown ♪
185
00:08:41,343 --> 00:08:44,130
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
186
00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:47,859
♪ With determination ♪
187
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,052
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
188
00:08:51,054 --> 00:08:56,054
♪ I'll make sure you never be alone ♪
189
00:08:57,810 --> 00:09:02,809
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
190
00:09:04,910 --> 00:09:09,910
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
191
00:09:12,087 --> 00:09:17,087
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
192
00:09:19,175 --> 00:09:24,064
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
193
00:09:24,066 --> 00:09:26,184
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
194
00:09:26,186 --> 00:09:31,114
♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪
195
00:09:31,116 --> 00:09:33,438
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
196
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:38,283
♪ I would brave a thousand years ♪
197
00:09:38,285 --> 00:09:40,684
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
198
00:09:40,686 --> 00:09:41,583
(GLASS SHATTERING)
199
00:09:41,585 --> 00:09:43,752
(MOANING)
200
00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:50,467
(WHIMPERING)
201
00:09:53,064 --> 00:09:53,897
Evan?
202
00:09:58,086 --> 00:09:59,274
Evan.
203
00:09:59,276 --> 00:10:00,295
What?
204
00:10:00,297 --> 00:10:03,565
I think there's someone in the kitchen.
205
00:10:03,567 --> 00:10:04,949
I think there's someone in the kitchen.
206
00:10:04,951 --> 00:10:05,784
Huh?
207
00:10:07,556 --> 00:10:08,939
Get my ax.
208
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:09,774
Help me get my ax.
209
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,090
(GROANING)
210
00:10:20,511 --> 00:10:21,876
(SCREAMING)
211
00:10:21,878 --> 00:10:22,709
Ryan!
212
00:10:22,711 --> 00:10:23,542
Oh my God.
213
00:10:23,544 --> 00:10:25,273
I didn't mean to wake you guys up.
214
00:10:25,275 --> 00:10:27,553
How is she in here?
215
00:10:27,555 --> 00:10:32,503
I gave her a key and a code
to the alarm system, sorry.
216
00:10:32,505 --> 00:10:35,095
RYAN: Bridget, you look hot.
217
00:10:35,097 --> 00:10:36,385
Is that La Perla?
218
00:10:36,387 --> 00:10:38,703
No, I'd rather have Victoria Secret
219
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:41,163
and an extra five hundred
bucks in my pocket.
220
00:10:41,165 --> 00:10:43,023
To what do we owe the
honor of your home invasion?
221
00:10:43,025 --> 00:10:45,318
Guys, this is intense.
222
00:10:46,245 --> 00:10:47,093
I've been poisoned.
223
00:10:47,095 --> 00:10:47,926
BRIDGET: What?
224
00:10:47,928 --> 00:10:49,309
Yeah, someone tried to dose me.
225
00:10:49,311 --> 00:10:50,142
BRIDGET: Who?
226
00:10:50,144 --> 00:10:52,823
I don't know but my
drink tasted really funny
227
00:10:52,825 --> 00:10:55,283
and I felt really weird,
so I left and came here.
228
00:10:55,285 --> 00:10:57,133
Do we need to take you to the hospital?
229
00:10:57,135 --> 00:10:58,364
No.
230
00:10:58,366 --> 00:10:59,532
I only had one sip.
231
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,434
I just feel way drunker than I should.
232
00:11:02,404 --> 00:11:06,062
Okay, well what did you do
with the rest of the drink?
233
00:11:06,064 --> 00:11:09,042
I gave it to Dov and told
her to take care of it.
234
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:11,172
Ryan, this is very important.
235
00:11:11,174 --> 00:11:14,642
Now what exactly did you say to Dov?
236
00:11:14,644 --> 00:11:16,537
I told her to take care of it.
237
00:11:17,924 --> 00:11:18,757
Oh no.
238
00:11:20,684 --> 00:11:23,183
We're leaving, now!
239
00:11:23,185 --> 00:11:25,602
(BEAT MUSIC)
240
00:11:34,437 --> 00:11:35,268
BRIDGET: What's happening?
241
00:11:35,270 --> 00:11:36,101
She's fucked up.
242
00:11:36,103 --> 00:11:36,934
Who knows?
243
00:11:36,936 --> 00:11:38,762
Rope, G, K.
244
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:39,750
DOV: L-M-N-O-P.
245
00:11:39,752 --> 00:11:41,295
Oh my God, it's all my fault.
246
00:11:41,297 --> 00:11:42,128
(LAUGHING)
247
00:11:42,130 --> 00:11:43,862
TRISTA: I knew you
idiots had a hand in this.
248
00:11:43,864 --> 00:11:44,762
I didn't know.
249
00:11:44,764 --> 00:11:47,299
Someone roofied me and I gave it to Dov
250
00:11:47,301 --> 00:11:48,942
and I guess I didn't make it clear.
251
00:11:48,944 --> 00:11:51,222
Trista, you're a nurse,
what's the prognosis?
252
00:11:51,224 --> 00:11:53,192
TRISTA: It depends on how much she had.
253
00:11:53,194 --> 00:11:54,025
Just one drink.
254
00:11:54,027 --> 00:11:55,572
Shouldn't we call the police?
255
00:11:55,574 --> 00:11:57,182
I mean, we need to
figure out who did this.
256
00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,742
TRISTA: The police
don't give a shit about us.
257
00:11:58,744 --> 00:11:59,780
Is that true?
258
00:11:59,782 --> 00:12:02,132
EVAN: Will she be
needing medical attention?
259
00:12:03,554 --> 00:12:04,672
Just keep an eye on her.
260
00:12:04,674 --> 00:12:07,392
DOV: You know, I can hear
everything you're saying.
261
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,363
How is she still conscience?
262
00:12:09,365 --> 00:12:11,689
She must've not had enough to pass out.
263
00:12:11,691 --> 00:12:13,572
I have a strong constitution.
264
00:12:13,574 --> 00:12:15,772
I've built up a really high tolerance
265
00:12:15,774 --> 00:12:17,247
to controlled substances.
266
00:12:18,664 --> 00:12:20,214
Get those people out of here.
267
00:12:24,484 --> 00:12:25,315
RYAN: Party's over!
268
00:12:25,317 --> 00:12:26,208
TRISTA: Everybody get out!
269
00:12:26,210 --> 00:12:27,041
WOMAN: What?
270
00:12:27,043 --> 00:12:27,874
RYAN: Get out!
271
00:12:27,876 --> 00:12:28,707
WOMAN: Why?
272
00:12:28,709 --> 00:12:30,068
(PARTY MEMBERS GROANING)
273
00:12:30,070 --> 00:12:31,766
RYAN: Out, come on, get out!
274
00:12:31,768 --> 00:12:32,635
Out!
275
00:12:32,637 --> 00:12:33,541
Everybody get out!
276
00:12:33,543 --> 00:12:34,772
We have to, now!
277
00:12:34,774 --> 00:12:36,405
No, no, it's too much.
278
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:38,487
RYAN: Out, out, now, come on!
279
00:12:41,753 --> 00:12:42,586
Come on!
280
00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:46,416
(LAUGHING)
281
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:52,662
I don't know if I'm laughing
so much because I'm so high
282
00:12:52,664 --> 00:12:55,642
or because I'm dying.
283
00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:56,917
You're not dying.
284
00:12:58,114 --> 00:12:59,861
We're all dying.
285
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:02,113
She's being fatalistic,
that's a good sign.
286
00:13:04,403 --> 00:13:05,236
That's it.
287
00:13:07,294 --> 00:13:08,786
Don't worry, girl.
288
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:09,621
I got you.
289
00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:12,206
Evan?
290
00:13:13,453 --> 00:13:16,406
There's something really major
I wanna tell you right now.
291
00:13:21,853 --> 00:13:24,020
(GAGGING)
292
00:13:26,693 --> 00:13:29,466
Did you know they had
bras in the 14th Century?
293
00:13:31,433 --> 00:13:33,779
Does that mean they
also had a second base?
294
00:13:33,781 --> 00:13:36,031
(GIGGLING)
295
00:13:40,115 --> 00:13:41,532
I have some news.
296
00:13:42,503 --> 00:13:43,366
My father,
297
00:13:44,293 --> 00:13:46,681
my father is running for Senate.
298
00:13:46,683 --> 00:13:47,911
State or?
299
00:13:47,913 --> 00:13:49,341
US Senate.
300
00:13:49,343 --> 00:13:51,091
And he wants me to be campaign chair.
301
00:13:51,093 --> 00:13:52,191
Governor wasn't enough?
302
00:13:52,193 --> 00:13:54,791
For my father, nothing is ever enough.
303
00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:56,651
Must run in the family.
304
00:13:56,653 --> 00:13:58,131
You have to do it.
305
00:13:58,133 --> 00:13:59,131
I will.
306
00:13:59,133 --> 00:14:00,741
There's one catch.
307
00:14:00,743 --> 00:14:02,801
He can't win as a Democrat again.
308
00:14:02,803 --> 00:14:04,401
This time he has to run as...
309
00:14:04,403 --> 00:14:05,651
A Libertarian?
310
00:14:05,653 --> 00:14:06,726
As a Republican.
311
00:14:08,383 --> 00:14:10,931
You can't support a
Republican candidate.
312
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,161
I can if he's my dad.
313
00:14:12,163 --> 00:14:14,611
He'll be Republican in name only.
314
00:14:14,613 --> 00:14:16,001
He's a huge supporter of gay rights
315
00:14:16,003 --> 00:14:17,651
and everyone knows his daughter's a homo.
316
00:14:17,653 --> 00:14:18,566
A major one.
317
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:22,831
What about women's rights
and abortion rights?
318
00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:24,348
And immigrants' rights?
319
00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:25,581
I'm not an immigrant.
320
00:14:25,583 --> 00:14:26,921
Your grandparents were.
321
00:14:26,923 --> 00:14:28,161
Someone's gonna chair his campaign,
322
00:14:28,163 --> 00:14:29,313
it might as well be me.
323
00:14:32,643 --> 00:14:34,031
I just don't want you to do something
324
00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:35,660
you're later going to regret.
325
00:14:35,662 --> 00:14:37,729
Regret it my favorite pastime.
326
00:14:37,731 --> 00:14:39,571
Every day I can pass along to him
327
00:14:39,573 --> 00:14:41,031
your Marxist feminist dialectic.
328
00:14:41,033 --> 00:14:44,638
Oh, I love it when you talk nerdy to me.
329
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,758
(CHUCKLING)
330
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,927
(MOANING)
331
00:14:53,133 --> 00:14:53,966
Marry me.
332
00:14:54,943 --> 00:14:57,805
I have other plans for today.
333
00:14:57,807 --> 00:15:00,056
(LAUGHING)
334
00:15:01,829 --> 00:15:02,861
(MOANING)
335
00:15:02,863 --> 00:15:04,090
Oh, you taste so sweet.
336
00:15:04,092 --> 00:15:06,460
You taste better than being thin feels.
337
00:15:06,462 --> 00:15:08,712
(GIGGLING)
338
00:15:09,882 --> 00:15:12,550
Is there another intruder in the house?
339
00:15:12,552 --> 00:15:13,730
The very same one.
340
00:15:13,732 --> 00:15:15,670
I let Ryan in after
you crashed last night.
341
00:15:15,672 --> 00:15:18,010
She didn't want to sleep
alone in her new apartment.
342
00:15:18,012 --> 00:15:20,305
We're not running a
social services agency.
343
00:15:22,694 --> 00:15:25,920
I don't know about you guys
but I am ready for some vodka.
344
00:15:25,922 --> 00:15:27,175
Morning.
345
00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:30,344
(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)
346
00:15:34,862 --> 00:15:38,660
So I get some phone call
from England, collect,
347
00:15:38,662 --> 00:15:40,980
and it's some nurse from some hospital
348
00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:43,960
informing me that my
father is on his deathbed.
349
00:15:43,962 --> 00:15:45,897
Oh, Ryan, I'm so sorry.
350
00:15:45,899 --> 00:15:47,460
I'm not.
351
00:15:47,462 --> 00:15:49,920
The old bastard has
been alive long enough.
352
00:15:49,922 --> 00:15:51,060
I'm ready for him to kick the bucket
353
00:15:51,062 --> 00:15:52,400
so I can collect my inheritance.
354
00:15:52,402 --> 00:15:53,600
I thought you guys
got along pretty well.
355
00:15:53,602 --> 00:15:55,690
We had a fabulous arrangement.
356
00:15:55,692 --> 00:15:57,740
He pays me five grand a month
357
00:15:57,742 --> 00:16:00,220
and his embarrassment
of a homosexual daughter
358
00:16:00,222 --> 00:16:02,678
stays on a different
continent and out of his life.
359
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,550
Oh, I didn't know it was that bad.
360
00:16:04,552 --> 00:16:05,884
It could be worse.
361
00:16:05,886 --> 00:16:09,325
When I graduated, his initial
offer was three thousand.
362
00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:11,585
Hey, babe.
363
00:16:14,209 --> 00:16:16,440
Have a nice day, ladies.
364
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:17,895
Where's my kiss?
365
00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:22,070
(LAUGHING)
366
00:16:22,072 --> 00:16:24,060
Hey, is Evan going to work?
367
00:16:24,062 --> 00:16:25,660
But it's Saturday.
368
00:16:25,662 --> 00:16:28,340
Wait, sorry, since when
has Evan had a job?
369
00:16:28,342 --> 00:16:30,299
Since her dad's running for Senate.
370
00:16:31,622 --> 00:16:33,215
And now,
371
00:16:34,712 --> 00:16:36,440
she's a Republican.
372
00:16:36,442 --> 00:16:38,230
Oh my God.
373
00:16:38,232 --> 00:16:39,780
She's a sellout.
374
00:16:39,782 --> 00:16:42,500
What happened to our
dead-dog-dyke-Democrat?
375
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,320
She's rolling over and
playing conservative.
376
00:16:45,322 --> 00:16:48,600
And she keeps pushing me to marry her.
377
00:16:48,602 --> 00:16:49,740
I know.
378
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:52,060
She won't stop taking about it.
379
00:16:52,062 --> 00:16:53,730
Don't you want to?
380
00:16:53,732 --> 00:16:54,950
Yeah.
381
00:16:54,952 --> 00:16:55,785
Just
382
00:16:57,052 --> 00:16:58,830
not now.
383
00:16:58,832 --> 00:17:00,489
You're gonna need some of this.
384
00:17:00,491 --> 00:17:03,309
Glad to see last night
didn't put you off your game.
385
00:17:03,311 --> 00:17:04,261
What do you mean?
386
00:17:06,751 --> 00:17:08,084
You got roofied.
387
00:17:10,281 --> 00:17:11,114
Oh, right.
388
00:17:12,871 --> 00:17:14,079
Yeah.
389
00:17:14,081 --> 00:17:14,914
Well,
390
00:17:15,861 --> 00:17:17,855
so here's to getting married, then.
391
00:17:17,857 --> 00:17:18,688
And selling out.
392
00:17:18,690 --> 00:17:20,188
Aren't those the same thing?
393
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:29,259
DOV: Why does the universe go through
394
00:17:29,261 --> 00:17:30,924
all bother of existing at all?
395
00:17:31,761 --> 00:17:34,552
Having a bout of
existential despair, I see.
396
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,184
What's the purpose of life?
397
00:17:38,281 --> 00:17:39,789
That's a yes.
398
00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:40,999
Well,
399
00:17:41,001 --> 00:17:43,529
most losers, present company included,
400
00:17:43,531 --> 00:17:44,971
would say it's
401
00:17:46,401 --> 00:17:47,839
love.
402
00:17:47,841 --> 00:17:48,672
Wrong.
403
00:17:48,674 --> 00:17:51,169
Love is a capitalist
scheme that is pre-packaged
404
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,059
and peddled to the masses.
405
00:17:53,061 --> 00:17:54,329
It's the perfect racket.
406
00:17:54,331 --> 00:17:56,404
It's selling dreams for cash.
407
00:17:57,301 --> 00:17:58,159
I thought you'd be happy
408
00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:00,361
once Evan got you that
job at the newspaper.
409
00:18:01,441 --> 00:18:04,049
Typing up engagement
announcements isn't writing.
410
00:18:04,051 --> 00:18:05,394
Although,
411
00:18:05,396 --> 00:18:09,009
I would recommend it to our
government as a form of torture.
412
00:18:09,011 --> 00:18:10,709
You are so emo.
413
00:18:10,711 --> 00:18:12,011
You just need to get laid.
414
00:18:13,931 --> 00:18:15,031
Love is an illusion.
415
00:18:18,501 --> 00:18:19,551
So what is it then?
416
00:18:21,241 --> 00:18:22,072
What's what?
417
00:18:22,074 --> 00:18:23,759
TRISTA: Your original question.
418
00:18:23,761 --> 00:18:24,761
The purpose of life.
419
00:18:26,201 --> 00:18:27,099
I don't know.
420
00:18:27,101 --> 00:18:27,934
I do.
421
00:18:29,751 --> 00:18:31,239
It's to have as much fun as we can
422
00:18:31,241 --> 00:18:33,141
before we're all sent to burn in Hell.
423
00:18:39,807 --> 00:18:42,890
(MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC)
424
00:18:46,844 --> 00:18:49,094
(KNOCKING)
425
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,259
Up for some divorce proceedings?
426
00:18:55,261 --> 00:18:56,361
Nice to see you too.
427
00:18:58,291 --> 00:19:00,028
Good to be back.
428
00:19:00,030 --> 00:19:02,108
I like what you've done with the place.
429
00:19:02,110 --> 00:19:02,953
I guess.
430
00:19:05,808 --> 00:19:08,391
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
431
00:19:14,790 --> 00:19:18,043
And here I thought this wasn't
gonna be an amicable divorce.
432
00:19:23,738 --> 00:19:26,321
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
433
00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,965
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
434
00:19:38,915 --> 00:19:41,165
(KNOCKING)
435
00:19:45,378 --> 00:19:47,453
Come in, come in.
436
00:19:48,902 --> 00:19:51,858
I don't think you've seen this
place since I've moved here.
437
00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:54,628
Business must be booming
in the tattoo industry.
438
00:19:54,630 --> 00:19:56,915
This world is full of un-inked flesh.
439
00:19:56,917 --> 00:19:59,368
I'm going to change real fast.
440
00:19:59,370 --> 00:20:00,698
Make us a drink.
441
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,808
Or one for each of us.
442
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:04,413
You know what I'm saying.
443
00:20:12,230 --> 00:20:13,808
Ryan!
444
00:20:13,810 --> 00:20:15,888
How are you affording all this?
445
00:20:15,890 --> 00:20:16,988
RYAN: Oh, you now,
446
00:20:16,990 --> 00:20:18,638
things are going really well at the shop
447
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:22,558
and my dad helps me financially.
448
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,478
Bridget was telling me about that.
449
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:25,748
She's worried about you.
450
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:27,008
RYAN: Why?
451
00:20:27,010 --> 00:20:28,383
I'm doing fabulously.
452
00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:44,023
Would you like to mix
that with something?
453
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,170
I like it straight.
454
00:20:49,130 --> 00:20:51,113
Pretty much the only
thing I like straight.
455
00:20:53,810 --> 00:20:55,435
Have a seat.
456
00:20:55,437 --> 00:20:56,368
(CHUCKLING)
457
00:20:56,370 --> 00:20:57,738
Tell me why I suddenly feel
458
00:20:57,740 --> 00:20:58,708
like I need to have a cigarette.
459
00:20:58,710 --> 00:21:00,359
I'm about to drop a truth bomb.
460
00:21:01,783 --> 00:21:02,677
In your own home?
461
00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:04,612
That's an act of domestic terrorism.
462
00:21:09,249 --> 00:21:10,162
Bombs away.
463
00:21:15,889 --> 00:21:18,172
Dov, you have a major problem.
464
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:21,047
Why do I feel like
I'm at an intervention?
465
00:21:21,049 --> 00:21:22,749
Because I'm interventioning you.
466
00:21:24,439 --> 00:21:25,307
Okay.
467
00:21:25,309 --> 00:21:28,077
What's my drug of choice?
468
00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:29,657
I want you to know that I understand you
469
00:21:29,659 --> 00:21:31,637
better than you realize.
470
00:21:31,639 --> 00:21:33,827
I think about you all the time,
471
00:21:33,829 --> 00:21:36,367
about what your life must be like
472
00:21:36,369 --> 00:21:37,969
and I know what your problem is.
473
00:21:38,889 --> 00:21:40,617
This should be spectacular.
474
00:21:40,619 --> 00:21:42,380
You're madly in love with Evan.
475
00:21:42,382 --> 00:21:44,632
(COUGHING)
476
00:21:46,609 --> 00:21:47,440
Evan?
477
00:21:47,442 --> 00:21:48,273
Yes.
478
00:21:48,275 --> 00:21:49,219
You're in love with her.
479
00:21:50,419 --> 00:21:53,017
I'm sorry, did someone just
turn on the batshit signal?
480
00:21:53,019 --> 00:21:53,850
It's like I've said.
481
00:21:53,852 --> 00:21:55,777
I've given a lot of thought
to your life situation
482
00:21:55,779 --> 00:21:58,257
and I've had some major insights.
483
00:21:58,259 --> 00:21:59,787
Enlighten me.
484
00:21:59,789 --> 00:22:02,937
You need a girl who's
gonna treat you like a lady.
485
00:22:02,939 --> 00:22:03,947
As apposed to...
486
00:22:03,949 --> 00:22:06,567
As apposed to most
girls who take one look
487
00:22:06,569 --> 00:22:09,907
at your bad girl persona
and immediately turn into
488
00:22:09,909 --> 00:22:12,277
pillow princesses and starfish.
489
00:22:12,279 --> 00:22:13,967
Starfish?
490
00:22:13,969 --> 00:22:16,847
They take their arms and their legs
491
00:22:16,849 --> 00:22:18,549
and they make you do all the work.
492
00:22:23,049 --> 00:22:25,757
You need someone who
will open doors for you.
493
00:22:25,759 --> 00:22:28,987
Put her hand on the small of your back,
494
00:22:28,989 --> 00:22:33,057
grab you by the back of
your head and kiss you.
495
00:22:33,059 --> 00:22:35,487
All the things a girl needs
to make her feel like a woman.
496
00:22:35,489 --> 00:22:39,677
And you know that Evan
can do that for you.
497
00:22:39,679 --> 00:22:41,437
Sounds like you're the
one that's in love with her.
498
00:22:41,439 --> 00:22:43,427
Please, me?
499
00:22:43,429 --> 00:22:47,047
If I wanted Evan, I'd
have had her already.
500
00:22:47,049 --> 00:22:50,287
Look, I get it, Evan is
our fearless leader but
501
00:22:50,289 --> 00:22:52,747
she's also in a serious
longest of terms relationship
502
00:22:52,749 --> 00:22:53,607
with my best friend.
503
00:22:53,609 --> 00:22:55,987
Ryan, there are delusional states
504
00:22:55,989 --> 00:22:57,207
and there's full on psychosis.
505
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:58,042
Prove it.
506
00:22:59,108 --> 00:23:00,566
Kiss me.
507
00:23:00,568 --> 00:23:02,126
No, I'm not Bridget.
508
00:23:02,128 --> 00:23:03,366
You heard about that?
509
00:23:03,368 --> 00:23:05,236
Kissing lessons out of pity?
510
00:23:05,238 --> 00:23:06,386
It got around.
511
00:23:06,388 --> 00:23:08,066
A concept I'm sure you're familiar with.
512
00:23:08,068 --> 00:23:09,566
Come on.
513
00:23:09,568 --> 00:23:11,926
Everyone wants to kiss me.
514
00:23:11,928 --> 00:23:13,751
Unless they're in love with Evan.
515
00:23:16,368 --> 00:23:18,966
Once again, you've taken this too far.
516
00:23:18,968 --> 00:23:20,546
Let's take it farther.
517
00:23:20,548 --> 00:23:22,336
This is the kind of
initiative you need to show
518
00:23:22,338 --> 00:23:23,688
when you're pursuing women.
519
00:23:25,651 --> 00:23:27,716
(YELPING)
520
00:23:27,718 --> 00:23:29,726
Oh my God, if you weren't you,
521
00:23:29,728 --> 00:23:31,646
I'd be totally turned on right now.
522
00:23:31,648 --> 00:23:34,461
Please, cancel my
subscription to your issues.
523
00:23:36,058 --> 00:23:37,558
You're not leaving, are you?
524
00:23:39,571 --> 00:23:42,516
Well, I appreciate your
attempted analysis of my psyche.
525
00:23:42,518 --> 00:23:44,968
Your conclusion couldn't
be further from reality.
526
00:23:46,468 --> 00:23:48,336
I know you're not telling the truth.
527
00:23:48,338 --> 00:23:50,196
You can lie to me and you
can lie to the whole world
528
00:23:50,198 --> 00:23:52,486
but the one person you
can't lie to is yourself.
529
00:23:52,488 --> 00:23:54,946
On the contrary, I
exile in that department.
530
00:23:54,948 --> 00:23:57,241
And, on that note, I bid you adieu.
531
00:24:01,538 --> 00:24:04,841
Apparently Cleopatra wasn't
the only queen of denial.
532
00:24:11,369 --> 00:24:14,526
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
533
00:24:14,528 --> 00:24:15,391
I miss this.
534
00:24:16,468 --> 00:24:18,576
Yeah, don't get any ideas.
535
00:24:18,578 --> 00:24:19,409
Huh?
536
00:24:19,411 --> 00:24:20,668
This is a one time thing.
537
00:24:21,708 --> 00:24:22,809
A one night stand.
538
00:24:22,811 --> 00:24:25,356
How do you have a one
night stand with your wife?
539
00:24:25,358 --> 00:24:28,446
Until this divorce is final,
we are married in name only.
540
00:24:28,448 --> 00:24:29,553
Wait,
541
00:24:29,555 --> 00:24:31,846
you didn't think we were
getting back together, did you?
542
00:24:31,848 --> 00:24:33,976
Gee, Paige, when you attacked
me when I walked in the door
543
00:24:33,978 --> 00:24:35,786
and we made mad, passionate love.
544
00:24:35,788 --> 00:24:38,806
Yes, I thought maybe our
relationship status was changing.
545
00:24:38,808 --> 00:24:39,916
So immature.
546
00:24:39,918 --> 00:24:41,818
This is exactly why I'm divorcing you.
547
00:24:42,893 --> 00:24:44,016
What the fuck?
548
00:24:44,018 --> 00:24:45,956
Grow up.
549
00:24:45,958 --> 00:24:46,916
You know better.
550
00:24:46,918 --> 00:24:48,746
No, Paige, tell me.
551
00:24:48,748 --> 00:24:50,386
Why am I divorcing you?
552
00:24:50,388 --> 00:24:52,586
Maybe it's because you're
never awake before noon.
553
00:24:52,588 --> 00:24:54,426
Or the constant partying.
554
00:24:54,428 --> 00:24:55,976
Or maybe it's the white stuff
555
00:24:55,978 --> 00:24:57,386
you're constantly shoving up your nose.
556
00:24:57,388 --> 00:24:58,509
I'm a nurse.
557
00:24:58,511 --> 00:25:00,075
I have to stay alert.
558
00:25:00,077 --> 00:25:01,985
I keep kids alive.
559
00:25:01,987 --> 00:25:04,137
Don't hide behind
the pillar of altruism.
560
00:25:05,947 --> 00:25:07,768
You just stand there and criticize me.
561
00:25:07,770 --> 00:25:08,601
Easy for you,
562
00:25:08,603 --> 00:25:10,195
you've never experienced
that kind of pressure.
563
00:25:10,197 --> 00:25:12,065
Yeah, I like nose candy.
564
00:25:12,067 --> 00:25:13,435
I should've been a bigger priority.
565
00:25:13,437 --> 00:25:15,225
Than the kids dying
in the pediatric ward?
566
00:25:15,227 --> 00:25:17,205
Yeah, like when I
asked you to quit blow.
567
00:25:17,207 --> 00:25:19,025
You should have for us.
568
00:25:19,027 --> 00:25:20,295
For you.
569
00:25:20,297 --> 00:25:22,005
Fuck, Paige, you are so selfish.
570
00:25:22,007 --> 00:25:23,435
Why am I still in love with you?
571
00:25:23,437 --> 00:25:26,337
Don't ask me because I'm
certainly not in love with you.
572
00:25:29,567 --> 00:25:31,221
This is heavier than
I thought it would be.
573
00:25:31,223 --> 00:25:32,293
(LAUGHING)
574
00:25:32,295 --> 00:25:33,583
Oh yeah.
575
00:25:33,585 --> 00:25:36,283
They didn't have refined steal yet, duh.
576
00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:38,235
(GIGGLING)
577
00:25:38,237 --> 00:25:39,965
By the late 12th Century,
578
00:25:39,967 --> 00:25:42,655
so the swords in western
Europe had evolved
579
00:25:42,657 --> 00:25:47,515
into cruciform weapons with
circular wheel pommels, usually,
580
00:25:47,517 --> 00:25:49,825
and normally with a fuller or bloodgroove
581
00:25:49,827 --> 00:25:51,027
running down the center.
582
00:25:52,357 --> 00:25:54,469
I feel like Wonder Woman.
583
00:25:54,471 --> 00:25:55,775
(LAUGHING)
584
00:25:55,777 --> 00:25:56,627
Coffee's ready.
585
00:25:57,787 --> 00:25:59,755
Can I set this down?
586
00:25:59,757 --> 00:26:01,435
BRIDGET: Only with great caution.
587
00:26:01,437 --> 00:26:02,270
Okay.
588
00:26:07,857 --> 00:26:09,690
Do I act like I'm attracted to Evan?
589
00:26:10,567 --> 00:26:11,695
What? No.
590
00:26:11,697 --> 00:26:13,725
Where'd you even get that idea?
591
00:26:13,727 --> 00:26:16,365
Yeah, Ryan believes I'm
secretly in love with her.
592
00:26:16,367 --> 00:26:17,575
Oh, Ryan.
593
00:26:17,577 --> 00:26:20,265
She certainly has a flair for
the dramatic, doesn't she?
594
00:26:20,267 --> 00:26:22,890
I mean, she should be
writing episodes for Dynasty.
595
00:26:23,849 --> 00:26:25,418
(LAUGHING)
596
00:26:25,420 --> 00:26:28,747
Unless, there's something
you're not telling me.
597
00:26:32,357 --> 00:26:34,755
Ryan, I worry about her.
598
00:26:34,757 --> 00:26:37,785
I mean, the situation with her father.
599
00:26:37,787 --> 00:26:40,705
It's like everyone's
got something to hide,
600
00:26:40,707 --> 00:26:43,585
like we're all keeping a secret
601
00:26:43,587 --> 00:26:46,110
we desperately need to stay concealed.
602
00:26:47,057 --> 00:26:48,950
I wouldn't know anything about that.
603
00:26:50,252 --> 00:26:52,153
(YELPING)
604
00:26:52,155 --> 00:26:53,165
(GROANING)
605
00:26:53,167 --> 00:26:56,025
How is it that I can
restore ancient weaponry
606
00:26:56,027 --> 00:26:58,704
but I can't make a cup of
coffee without injuring myself?
607
00:26:58,706 --> 00:27:00,834
Because you focus on
the things you love,
608
00:27:00,836 --> 00:27:02,734
like weapons and friends,
with such intensity
609
00:27:02,736 --> 00:27:05,274
that not pouring scolding
hot water on yourself
610
00:27:05,276 --> 00:27:07,304
just simply fades into the background.
611
00:27:07,306 --> 00:27:08,951
Well maybe I'm just clumsy.
612
00:27:08,953 --> 00:27:13,217
Clumsy on you is adorable.
613
00:27:13,219 --> 00:27:16,429
You would be such a good girlfriend.
614
00:27:17,476 --> 00:27:20,164
Why don't you start dating,
put yourself out there?
615
00:27:20,166 --> 00:27:23,294
I don't believe in the
grand idea of romance.
616
00:27:23,296 --> 00:27:25,396
Well, surely you've been in love before.
617
00:27:26,616 --> 00:27:28,684
Do you know how to make
the coffee with the foam or...
618
00:27:28,686 --> 00:27:30,489
Don't evade the topic.
619
00:27:32,968 --> 00:27:33,801
Ugh.
620
00:27:34,956 --> 00:27:37,614
When I was in high school
621
00:27:37,616 --> 00:27:39,304
there was a girl, Whitney Merritt,
622
00:27:39,306 --> 00:27:40,994
she was a senior, I was a sophomore
623
00:27:40,996 --> 00:27:43,474
and she would drive me
home everyday from school
624
00:27:43,476 --> 00:27:46,026
in a red Mustang, so I
didn't have to take the bus.
625
00:27:47,396 --> 00:27:49,774
She was the most beautiful
thing I'd ever seen
626
00:27:49,776 --> 00:27:52,394
and I convinced myself that we
were destined to be together
627
00:27:52,396 --> 00:27:55,339
and at the end of the school
year, I professed my love.
628
00:27:57,066 --> 00:27:58,634
And?
629
00:27:58,636 --> 00:28:00,462
Well, I never heard from her again.
630
00:28:00,464 --> 00:28:02,634
She went to the Hamptons for the summer
631
00:28:02,636 --> 00:28:04,986
and then straight to a
private woman's college.
632
00:28:05,826 --> 00:28:06,854
I'm still looking for her.
633
00:28:06,856 --> 00:28:09,999
But not her, specifically,
because that would be creepy.
634
00:28:11,036 --> 00:28:13,134
But I'm looking to feel
that way, I felt about her,
635
00:28:13,136 --> 00:28:14,259
with someone else.
636
00:28:15,373 --> 00:28:18,484
In that sense, I guess, I'll
always be chasing Whitney.
637
00:28:18,486 --> 00:28:19,319
So,
638
00:28:20,616 --> 00:28:23,004
this is there you got all the angst
639
00:28:23,006 --> 00:28:24,899
that inspired you to become a writer.
640
00:28:25,743 --> 00:28:26,949
I'm afraid it did.
641
00:28:28,676 --> 00:28:31,264
Yeah, my mom could tell I was
really emotionally devastated
642
00:28:31,266 --> 00:28:33,644
and we didn't have much
643
00:28:33,646 --> 00:28:35,664
but she bought me this
used lime green iBook
644
00:28:35,666 --> 00:28:38,374
into which I just poured by soul.
645
00:28:38,376 --> 00:28:40,514
And through which you began your journey
646
00:28:40,516 --> 00:28:43,084
to becoming one of the
great novelists of our time.
647
00:28:43,086 --> 00:28:44,975
More like my journey to
writing engagement announcements
648
00:28:44,977 --> 00:28:46,519
and other forms of drivel.
649
00:28:48,066 --> 00:28:48,899
What I need
650
00:28:50,146 --> 00:28:51,129
is inspiration.
651
00:28:52,064 --> 00:28:54,099
I'm currently stuck in writers' gridlock.
652
00:28:55,046 --> 00:28:56,824
Maybe
653
00:28:56,826 --> 00:28:59,735
what you need is to, you know.
654
00:29:02,185 --> 00:29:03,128
Get laid?
655
00:29:04,112 --> 00:29:06,998
Yeah, that seems to be the consensus.
656
00:29:10,175 --> 00:29:11,008
Hello, ladies.
657
00:29:11,991 --> 00:29:13,058
Aww.
658
00:29:13,060 --> 00:29:15,393
(CHUCKLING)
659
00:29:16,795 --> 00:29:18,373
Hello, dear.
660
00:29:18,375 --> 00:29:20,075
Productive day in zee noo Germany?
661
00:29:21,881 --> 00:29:24,497
(LAUGHING)
662
00:29:24,499 --> 00:29:25,330
What is it?
663
00:29:25,332 --> 00:29:26,295
Something medieval.
664
00:29:28,689 --> 00:29:30,856
(GASPING)
665
00:29:33,525 --> 00:29:35,753
Time for Middle East peace conference.
666
00:29:35,755 --> 00:29:36,598
Oh, okay.
667
00:29:39,842 --> 00:29:41,603
I have to marry Bridget, now.
668
00:29:41,605 --> 00:29:42,723
Why?
669
00:29:42,725 --> 00:29:44,075
Did you get her knocked up?
670
00:29:45,125 --> 00:29:46,133
Kidding.
671
00:29:46,135 --> 00:29:47,443
What's the rush?
672
00:29:47,445 --> 00:29:48,993
Dov, when you meet
the girl of your dreams
673
00:29:48,995 --> 00:29:50,193
and you look into her eyes,
674
00:29:50,195 --> 00:29:51,853
you'll understand that
the most important thing
675
00:29:51,855 --> 00:29:53,498
is never letting her go.
676
00:29:55,249 --> 00:29:57,998
I wouldn't know anything
about that either.
677
00:29:59,445 --> 00:30:01,301
I'm gonna kill myself.
678
00:30:01,303 --> 00:30:02,553
It's only coffee, Evan.
679
00:30:05,305 --> 00:30:07,443
Oops, you did it again.
680
00:30:07,445 --> 00:30:08,276
Who is she?
681
00:30:08,278 --> 00:30:11,223
An intern at my father's
campaign headquarters.
682
00:30:11,225 --> 00:30:13,003
I hate cliches.
683
00:30:13,005 --> 00:30:13,903
How old?
684
00:30:13,905 --> 00:30:15,113
She's in college.
685
00:30:15,115 --> 00:30:15,946
Not what I asked.
686
00:30:15,948 --> 00:30:17,411
19.
687
00:30:17,413 --> 00:30:18,320
Whoa, you like to play low numbers.
688
00:30:18,322 --> 00:30:19,973
I like to win.
689
00:30:19,975 --> 00:30:21,089
It's not a casino.
690
00:30:21,091 --> 00:30:23,533
It's a game, it's all a game.
691
00:30:23,535 --> 00:30:26,943
I'm just thinking that if
you can't stop screwing around,
692
00:30:26,945 --> 00:30:29,773
you should probably let Bridget
go and find someone else.
693
00:30:29,775 --> 00:30:32,025
(GROANING)
694
00:30:34,375 --> 00:30:36,657
I just need her to marry me.
695
00:30:36,659 --> 00:30:38,783
DOV: Do you really feel that marriage
696
00:30:38,785 --> 00:30:40,608
is gonna make you stop
cheating on Bridget?
697
00:30:40,610 --> 00:30:41,763
Yes.
698
00:30:41,765 --> 00:30:43,460
Hey, this girl, she didn't touch me.
699
00:30:43,462 --> 00:30:45,372
It' a one way street, you understand?
700
00:30:45,374 --> 00:30:47,023
Well you're driving down
it in the wrong direction.
701
00:30:47,025 --> 00:30:49,568
What's your philosophy,
Evan, eating isn't cheating?
702
00:30:56,791 --> 00:31:00,123
It's entirely historically inaccurate.
703
00:31:01,244 --> 00:31:02,369
And I love it.
704
00:31:02,371 --> 00:31:04,349
(GIGGLING)
705
00:31:04,351 --> 00:31:05,184
My baby.
706
00:31:07,518 --> 00:31:12,518
I guess I'll wear it all the time.
707
00:31:14,759 --> 00:31:17,937
(SOMBER BEAT MUSIC)
708
00:31:17,939 --> 00:31:22,939
♪ Float around in silence ♪
709
00:31:23,035 --> 00:31:28,035
♪ Hanging on a dream up here ♪
710
00:31:28,182 --> 00:31:33,182
♪ Float around in silence ♪
711
00:31:33,277 --> 00:31:38,277
♪ Hanging on a dream up here ♪
712
00:31:38,424 --> 00:31:43,424
♪ Float around in silence ♪
713
00:31:43,545 --> 00:31:46,979
♪ Hanging on a dream up here ♪
714
00:31:46,981 --> 00:31:47,812
Hey.
715
00:31:47,814 --> 00:31:49,772
BRIDGET: Hey, did Dov leave?
716
00:31:49,774 --> 00:31:51,912
No, she left right after we ate.
717
00:31:51,914 --> 00:31:53,292
I didn't notice.
718
00:31:53,294 --> 00:31:54,127
Thank you.
719
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,509
(CHUCKLING)
720
00:31:58,511 --> 00:32:00,867
"Your eyes are blue torch light.
721
00:32:02,041 --> 00:32:03,827
"Ice-kissed frost fire.
722
00:32:04,951 --> 00:32:06,902
"My wasted heart melts there."
723
00:32:06,904 --> 00:32:08,262
You know, it's cute,
724
00:32:08,264 --> 00:32:11,389
like a middle school
love note or something.
725
00:32:11,391 --> 00:32:13,642
"Ice-kissed frost fire?"
726
00:32:13,644 --> 00:32:15,101
You wrote this for me?
727
00:32:15,103 --> 00:32:17,629
No, you wrote it for me.
728
00:32:17,631 --> 00:32:19,736
Oh shit, or didn't you?
729
00:32:19,738 --> 00:32:21,722
Evan, that's not even my handwriting.
730
00:32:21,724 --> 00:32:23,387
You're saying you didn't write that.
731
00:32:25,584 --> 00:32:27,172
Where did you find that?
732
00:32:27,174 --> 00:32:29,692
Just in the kitchen, just over there.
733
00:32:29,694 --> 00:32:31,792
Somebody wrote it.
734
00:32:31,794 --> 00:32:34,157
Looks like you have a secret admirer.
735
00:32:35,284 --> 00:32:39,123
They're out of luck because
I have eyes only for you.
736
00:32:39,125 --> 00:32:42,292
(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)
737
00:33:23,118 --> 00:33:25,285
(MOANING)
738
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:29,195
(PHONE RINGING)
739
00:33:29,197 --> 00:33:32,541
No, no, no.
740
00:33:32,543 --> 00:33:35,471
(PHONE RINGING)
741
00:33:35,473 --> 00:33:36,851
But.
742
00:33:36,853 --> 00:33:39,131
The answering machine is full.
743
00:33:39,133 --> 00:33:41,800
(PHONE RINGING)
744
00:33:42,673 --> 00:33:44,111
Hello.
745
00:33:44,113 --> 00:33:45,891
Hey, Bridget.
746
00:33:45,893 --> 00:33:46,796
Is Evan there?
747
00:33:49,823 --> 00:33:50,983
Evan Dever.
748
00:33:50,985 --> 00:33:52,491
Evan.
749
00:33:52,493 --> 00:33:53,901
It's Ryan.
750
00:33:53,903 --> 00:33:55,311
I'm locked out of my house.
751
00:33:55,313 --> 00:33:57,511
What time is it?
752
00:33:57,513 --> 00:33:58,811
Please.
753
00:33:58,813 --> 00:34:01,461
I was out partying with
these Iranian guys.
754
00:34:01,463 --> 00:34:02,551
No offense.
755
00:34:02,553 --> 00:34:03,541
None taken.
756
00:34:03,543 --> 00:34:05,171
And we were doing blow all night
757
00:34:05,173 --> 00:34:08,951
and I got that feeling, you know?
758
00:34:08,953 --> 00:34:10,791
The one that says "leave now."
759
00:34:10,793 --> 00:34:13,460
So I got out of there but
my keys aren't in my clutch
760
00:34:13,462 --> 00:34:15,899
and I don't wanna go back alone.
761
00:34:15,901 --> 00:34:18,630
I thought maybe since you're Arab...
762
00:34:19,593 --> 00:34:21,751
Iranians are Persian, not Arab.
763
00:34:21,753 --> 00:34:23,166
Oh.
764
00:34:23,168 --> 00:34:25,596
Oh, right.
765
00:34:26,563 --> 00:34:27,616
Don't worry about it.
766
00:34:29,163 --> 00:34:32,041
I think you can reason
with them since you're,
767
00:34:32,043 --> 00:34:32,886
you know,
768
00:34:34,303 --> 00:34:35,436
Middle Eastern.
769
00:34:36,623 --> 00:34:38,331
Please come get me.
770
00:34:38,333 --> 00:34:39,701
I'm on my way.
771
00:34:39,703 --> 00:34:41,227
Do you speak Arabic?
772
00:34:41,229 --> 00:34:42,414
No.
773
00:34:42,416 --> 00:34:44,583
(MOANING)
774
00:34:48,403 --> 00:34:49,236
Hello?
775
00:34:50,449 --> 00:34:52,616
(MOANING)
776
00:35:02,377 --> 00:35:05,377
(SOMBER BEAT MUSIC)
777
00:35:13,462 --> 00:35:15,710
You were so good at reasoning with them.
778
00:35:15,712 --> 00:35:17,635
Evan Dever, you're my hero.
779
00:35:23,842 --> 00:35:24,940
Do you wanna come inside?
780
00:35:24,942 --> 00:35:26,437
Stay up and party all
night like the old days?
781
00:35:26,439 --> 00:35:28,755
I have to be at work in three hours.
782
00:35:30,162 --> 00:35:31,460
How'd you afford this?
783
00:35:31,462 --> 00:35:32,635
My daddy hates me.
784
00:35:39,432 --> 00:35:40,988
Hey.
785
00:35:40,990 --> 00:35:41,971
Hey.
786
00:35:41,973 --> 00:35:44,295
I live next door, I'm Misha.
787
00:35:44,297 --> 00:35:45,450
Evan.
788
00:35:45,452 --> 00:35:47,780
Are you Ryan's new girl?
789
00:35:47,782 --> 00:35:49,730
Oh no, we're good friends.
790
00:35:49,732 --> 00:35:51,320
That's what they all say.
791
00:35:51,322 --> 00:35:54,095
Can you light me one of those, cowboy?
792
00:35:56,352 --> 00:35:58,345
How about I give you this one, cowgirl?
793
00:36:03,912 --> 00:36:05,010
Thanks.
794
00:36:05,012 --> 00:36:06,112
Think nothing of it.
795
00:36:07,002 --> 00:36:08,864
You're up late.
796
00:36:08,866 --> 00:36:10,949
Oh yeah, we were just...
797
00:36:11,822 --> 00:36:14,711
Wanna come over to my place, hang out?
798
00:36:14,713 --> 00:36:16,450
I have to be up early.
799
00:36:16,452 --> 00:36:18,795
Okay, well, you know where to find me.
800
00:36:21,379 --> 00:36:22,412
Hey!
801
00:36:22,414 --> 00:36:23,247
Come on!
802
00:36:33,696 --> 00:36:37,142
(FAINT BEAT MUSIC)
803
00:36:37,144 --> 00:36:39,477
(SNIFFLING)
804
00:36:40,352 --> 00:36:41,570
You know, cocaine is
God's way of telling you
805
00:36:41,572 --> 00:36:43,150
you have too much money.
806
00:36:43,152 --> 00:36:45,102
I don't need God to tell me I'm rich.
807
00:36:46,467 --> 00:36:47,717
You need to be careful.
808
00:36:48,552 --> 00:36:49,460
I've seen a lot of pretty girls
809
00:36:49,462 --> 00:36:51,380
ruin their looks with this stuff.
810
00:36:51,382 --> 00:36:54,664
Well it's a lucky thing I
don't plan on living past 30.
811
00:36:54,666 --> 00:36:55,497
You have some on your nose.
812
00:36:55,499 --> 00:36:57,295
It's okay, I'm gonna keep doing it.
813
00:37:00,381 --> 00:37:02,929
God blessed me with
good looks and cursed me
814
00:37:02,931 --> 00:37:05,199
with the knowledge that
they would one day fade.
815
00:37:05,201 --> 00:37:06,994
There's no reason to rush prophecy.
816
00:37:08,541 --> 00:37:10,119
How come you and I never got together?
817
00:37:10,121 --> 00:37:11,789
We've been over this.
818
00:37:11,791 --> 00:37:13,069
Come on.
819
00:37:13,071 --> 00:37:14,344
We'd be so cute.
820
00:37:15,751 --> 00:37:17,564
Because a player can't get played.
821
00:37:19,267 --> 00:37:21,517
(GROANING)
822
00:37:24,431 --> 00:37:26,839
Which one of us is the
play in this scenario?
823
00:37:26,841 --> 00:37:27,724
We both are.
824
00:37:30,871 --> 00:37:32,459
Additionally, I happen to be madly in love
825
00:37:32,461 --> 00:37:35,579
with you best friend, whom
I also plan on marrying.
826
00:37:35,581 --> 00:37:38,129
What's with you saying
"whom" all the time?
827
00:37:38,131 --> 00:37:40,092
I went to the same school
as you and I can't do that.
828
00:37:40,094 --> 00:37:41,382
I was paying attention in class.
829
00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:43,249
I doubt you even showed up.
830
00:37:43,251 --> 00:37:44,319
I finished four years in three
831
00:37:44,321 --> 00:37:46,649
and never even cracked the text book.
832
00:37:46,651 --> 00:37:47,514
Show-off.
833
00:37:49,841 --> 00:37:50,674
I'm cold.
834
00:37:51,701 --> 00:37:52,544
Get on the bed.
835
00:37:59,493 --> 00:38:01,356
(CHUCKLING)
836
00:38:01,358 --> 00:38:03,275
I don't know, it's just
837
00:38:04,671 --> 00:38:08,109
nice having someone like me for me.
838
00:38:08,111 --> 00:38:09,511
Bridget likes you for you.
839
00:38:10,741 --> 00:38:11,691
That's different.
840
00:38:13,261 --> 00:38:14,304
She's not a boy.
841
00:38:15,521 --> 00:38:16,524
You're a boy, Evan.
842
00:38:17,381 --> 00:38:19,059
That's why I called you.
843
00:38:19,061 --> 00:38:20,761
I wanted a boy to take care of me.
844
00:38:26,890 --> 00:38:29,640
We have the best group, don't we?
845
00:38:30,517 --> 00:38:34,038
You're the king, Bridget's the queen.
846
00:38:35,791 --> 00:38:37,869
I'm definitely the princess.
847
00:38:37,871 --> 00:38:39,171
What are Dov and Trista?
848
00:38:41,351 --> 00:38:42,351
The court jesters.
849
00:38:47,311 --> 00:38:48,231
Hey, Evan?
850
00:38:48,233 --> 00:38:49,066
Mhmm?
851
00:38:50,051 --> 00:38:50,999
There's something I need to tell you.
852
00:38:51,001 --> 00:38:53,034
You can tell me anything.
853
00:38:54,424 --> 00:38:55,674
You're right.
854
00:38:56,594 --> 00:38:57,913
I can always count on you.
855
00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:08,898
Hey,
856
00:39:08,900 --> 00:39:09,793
can you stay?
857
00:39:11,590 --> 00:39:13,178
At least until I'm asleep?
858
00:39:13,180 --> 00:39:14,730
That won't be for a few days.
859
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:16,873
Fair point.
860
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,230
Do you think you could at
least sleep here tonight?
861
00:39:22,461 --> 00:39:24,068
I'd feel a lot safer.
862
00:39:24,070 --> 00:39:26,638
You're paranoid from all the coke.
863
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:27,571
Do you think Bridget will mind?
864
00:39:27,573 --> 00:39:29,978
Because I could call her
right now and tell her.
865
00:39:29,980 --> 00:39:31,798
Bridget forced you to
give her kissing lessons.
866
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:32,663
She'll be fine.
867
00:39:39,100 --> 00:39:40,133
Hey, Evan?
868
00:39:40,991 --> 00:39:41,824
Mhmm?
869
00:39:43,730 --> 00:39:44,995
I love you.
870
00:39:44,997 --> 00:39:46,633
You too, sweetheart.
871
00:39:48,705 --> 00:39:50,727
And not in a gay way.
872
00:40:02,446 --> 00:40:04,513
(HUFFING)
873
00:40:04,515 --> 00:40:07,098
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
874
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:20,679
No.
875
00:40:20,681 --> 00:40:22,326
No, no.
876
00:40:22,328 --> 00:40:23,655
No, no.
877
00:40:23,657 --> 00:40:25,990
(SCREAMING)
878
00:40:28,268 --> 00:40:30,168
(SIGHING)
879
00:40:30,170 --> 00:40:33,234
(MUFFLED YELLING)
880
00:40:33,236 --> 00:40:35,903
(PHONE RINGING)
881
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:43,298
Dov isn't here right now,
882
00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:44,918
would you like to leave a message?
883
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:45,898
Where the fuck are you?
884
00:40:45,900 --> 00:40:48,618
You know how much this
party means to Bridget.
885
00:40:48,620 --> 00:40:49,928
What time is it?
886
00:40:49,930 --> 00:40:51,418
Were you asleep?
887
00:40:51,420 --> 00:40:52,720
Were you dreaming of Evan?
888
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:55,028
I hate myself.
889
00:40:55,030 --> 00:40:57,787
You love someone who doesn't love you.
890
00:40:57,789 --> 00:41:00,137
And I thought writers didn't like cliches.
891
00:41:00,139 --> 00:41:02,567
It's not so cliche that I hate myself.
892
00:41:02,569 --> 00:41:03,927
Hang on.
893
00:41:03,929 --> 00:41:06,207
Dov, you know how much
this party means to Bridget.
894
00:41:06,209 --> 00:41:07,609
RYAN: That's what I said.
895
00:41:08,449 --> 00:41:09,417
I'm dying.
896
00:41:09,419 --> 00:41:10,284
You're not dying.
897
00:41:10,286 --> 00:41:11,717
You just can't think of
anything better to do.
898
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:13,877
Tell her to take some Gas-X.
899
00:41:13,879 --> 00:41:16,062
Get dressed and get the fuck over here.
900
00:41:18,429 --> 00:41:19,652
The king has spoken.
901
00:41:25,685 --> 00:41:28,268
(SOMBER MUSIC)
902
00:41:31,752 --> 00:41:36,752
Hello?
903
00:41:36,937 --> 00:41:40,437
(EXCITING NEW WAVE MUSIC)
904
00:41:50,257 --> 00:41:51,326
Oh!
905
00:41:51,328 --> 00:41:52,159
You look amazing!
906
00:41:52,161 --> 00:41:54,260
This is hilarious!
907
00:41:54,262 --> 00:41:56,512
(LAUGHING)
908
00:41:58,080 --> 00:41:59,611
Where's your costume?
909
00:41:59,613 --> 00:42:01,034
This is not good enough.
910
00:42:01,036 --> 00:42:01,953
Whatever.
911
00:42:03,181 --> 00:42:04,012
Oh, Ryan.
912
00:42:04,014 --> 00:42:06,168
You need to wear your glasses.
913
00:42:06,170 --> 00:42:08,337
Oh, they make me look like a nerd
914
00:42:08,339 --> 00:42:10,899
and they're historically inaccurate.
915
00:42:10,901 --> 00:42:12,587
(LAUGHING)
916
00:42:12,589 --> 00:42:13,827
Dov is coming.
917
00:42:13,829 --> 00:42:14,767
Oh, thanks for calling her.
918
00:42:14,769 --> 00:42:16,797
I didn't realize she wasn't here.
919
00:42:16,799 --> 00:42:17,847
So, apparently my dad
920
00:42:17,849 --> 00:42:20,357
is in some kind of induced-coma state.
921
00:42:20,359 --> 00:42:22,117
I don't get it, I thought
in Europe they had laws
922
00:42:22,119 --> 00:42:24,287
where they let people die.
923
00:42:24,289 --> 00:42:25,887
He wants that?
924
00:42:25,889 --> 00:42:27,307
Euthanasia?
925
00:42:27,309 --> 00:42:28,757
Youth in Asia?
926
00:42:28,759 --> 00:42:30,332
What do they have to do with it?
927
00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:44,851
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
928
00:42:50,518 --> 00:42:51,351
Hi.
929
00:42:57,899 --> 00:42:58,732
Dov.
930
00:43:02,871 --> 00:43:04,956
Time for a Mid-East summit?
931
00:43:04,958 --> 00:43:06,946
I need to unburden my conscience.
932
00:43:06,948 --> 00:43:08,148
Do you take confessions?
933
00:43:09,028 --> 00:43:10,936
Do I look like a priest?
934
00:43:10,938 --> 00:43:12,665
You look poor and celibate.
935
00:43:14,488 --> 00:43:16,076
Close enough, what's up?
936
00:43:16,078 --> 00:43:19,156
My intern, now she says
she's in love with me.
937
00:43:19,158 --> 00:43:21,261
I have to see her every day.
938
00:43:22,768 --> 00:43:23,736
I don't know how to handle it.
939
00:43:23,738 --> 00:43:26,056
Why don't you be a big boy
and stop committing adultery
940
00:43:26,058 --> 00:43:28,226
with your teenage subordinate?
941
00:43:28,228 --> 00:43:30,396
It's not adultery unless you're married.
942
00:43:30,398 --> 00:43:31,966
Until Bridget accepts my offer,
943
00:43:31,968 --> 00:43:34,021
I have no reason to decline any others.
944
00:43:35,318 --> 00:43:36,466
I'll tell you what.
945
00:43:36,468 --> 00:43:38,736
Say three Hail Mary's, four Our Father's
946
00:43:38,738 --> 00:43:39,569
and pray that there's a God
947
00:43:39,571 --> 00:43:42,021
that will absolve you of your sins.
948
00:43:42,023 --> 00:43:43,896
You know what I like about you?
949
00:43:43,898 --> 00:43:44,766
Can't wait.
950
00:43:44,768 --> 00:43:46,416
You always tell it like it is.
951
00:43:46,418 --> 00:43:48,116
You never lie.
952
00:43:48,118 --> 00:43:49,276
You're a straight shooter.
953
00:43:49,278 --> 00:43:51,585
Not so sure about the
"straight" part but.
954
00:43:57,889 --> 00:44:01,389
(EXCITING NEW WAVE MUSIC)
955
00:44:46,248 --> 00:44:47,596
Hey, over here!
956
00:44:47,598 --> 00:44:49,216
I want you to meet my neighbor's daughter.
957
00:44:49,218 --> 00:44:50,396
She's Jewish too.
958
00:44:50,398 --> 00:44:51,386
Misha!
959
00:44:51,388 --> 00:44:52,926
Misha!
960
00:44:52,928 --> 00:44:54,666
Misha,
961
00:44:54,668 --> 00:44:57,450
this is Dov, I was telling you about her.
962
00:44:58,327 --> 00:44:59,970
I like your haircut.
963
00:45:01,737 --> 00:45:02,568
Thanks.
964
00:45:02,570 --> 00:45:03,725
No one ever says that.
965
00:45:03,727 --> 00:45:04,565
Really?
966
00:45:04,567 --> 00:45:06,420
That's the first thing I noticed.
967
00:45:11,427 --> 00:45:12,330
Spectacular.
968
00:45:15,257 --> 00:45:17,120
I like your bonnet.
969
00:45:18,946 --> 00:45:19,779
Ummm.
970
00:45:22,447 --> 00:45:23,682
Truth.
971
00:45:23,684 --> 00:45:24,517
Hmmmmm.
972
00:45:25,737 --> 00:45:26,837
What are your numbers?
973
00:45:28,267 --> 00:45:29,865
Well,
974
00:45:29,867 --> 00:45:31,725
I knew I was a lesbian in high school
975
00:45:31,727 --> 00:45:33,415
but I didn't come out until college,
976
00:45:33,417 --> 00:45:35,320
which is where I met Evan.
977
00:45:36,390 --> 00:45:39,245
But then I Puerto Rico to live
with my dad for a few years
978
00:45:39,247 --> 00:45:40,895
and they're really conservative there,
979
00:45:40,897 --> 00:45:42,820
but I kept in touch with Evan,
980
00:45:45,329 --> 00:45:48,625
so eventually she offered
to pay for grad school
981
00:45:48,627 --> 00:45:49,560
if I came back.
982
00:45:51,689 --> 00:45:53,720
So, what's your answer?
983
00:45:55,627 --> 00:45:57,105
Just Evan.
984
00:45:57,107 --> 00:45:58,149
Just one.
985
00:45:58,151 --> 00:45:59,135
TRISTA: Uh-uh.
986
00:45:59,137 --> 00:46:00,065
No, you're lying.
987
00:46:00,067 --> 00:46:01,325
RYAN: She's not.
988
00:46:01,327 --> 00:46:03,331
She would've told me.
989
00:46:03,333 --> 00:46:05,035
TRISTA: Do you think about other women?
990
00:46:05,037 --> 00:46:07,165
Well, I mean yeah, I
think about other women
991
00:46:07,167 --> 00:46:08,140
but I love Evan.
992
00:46:09,207 --> 00:46:10,884
Wow, that's super deep.
993
00:46:10,886 --> 00:46:13,275
(CHUCKLING)
994
00:46:13,277 --> 00:46:14,677
Okay, so...
995
00:46:16,837 --> 00:46:17,670
Who's next?
996
00:46:19,667 --> 00:46:20,805
Ryan.
997
00:46:20,807 --> 00:46:21,665
Yes?
998
00:46:21,667 --> 00:46:22,500
Dare.
999
00:46:25,827 --> 00:46:27,165
Kiss Evan.
1000
00:46:27,167 --> 00:46:28,000
Fuck yeah.
1001
00:46:36,229 --> 00:46:38,479
(LAUGHING)
1002
00:46:40,957 --> 00:46:41,860
My turn.
1003
00:46:45,267 --> 00:46:46,970
Dov, truth or dare?
1004
00:46:48,557 --> 00:46:49,388
Truth.
1005
00:46:49,390 --> 00:46:50,520
RYAN: You sure about that?
1006
00:46:52,787 --> 00:46:53,620
No.
1007
00:46:54,547 --> 00:46:55,380
Dare.
1008
00:46:56,647 --> 00:46:57,519
I choose dare.
1009
00:47:06,606 --> 00:47:08,013
RYAN: Kiss Evan.
1010
00:47:08,015 --> 00:47:10,261
(LAUGHING)
1011
00:47:10,263 --> 00:47:11,094
DOV: No.
1012
00:47:11,096 --> 00:47:11,927
Kiss Evan.
1013
00:47:11,929 --> 00:47:12,760
Nope.
1014
00:47:12,762 --> 00:47:13,644
RYAN: That's your
dare, you have to do it.
1015
00:47:13,646 --> 00:47:14,554
I'm not.
1016
00:47:14,556 --> 00:47:15,387
Why?
1017
00:47:15,389 --> 00:47:17,594
Is there something wrong with Evan?
1018
00:47:17,596 --> 00:47:18,884
DOV: I just don't want to.
1019
00:47:18,886 --> 00:47:19,724
Give me another dare.
1020
00:47:19,726 --> 00:47:20,924
That's not how it works.
1021
00:47:20,926 --> 00:47:22,454
Do you think I wanted to kiss Evan?
1022
00:47:22,456 --> 00:47:23,634
DOV: Yeah, I think you did.
1023
00:47:23,636 --> 00:47:25,064
Poor example.
1024
00:47:25,066 --> 00:47:27,254
Oh, come on, you're
gonna make her feel bad.
1025
00:47:27,256 --> 00:47:29,454
Stop, she doesn't have to kiss me.
1026
00:47:29,456 --> 00:47:30,944
Yes she does.
1027
00:47:30,946 --> 00:47:33,264
If I'd welched on every
dare I got in high school,
1028
00:47:33,266 --> 00:47:34,947
I wouldn't be the woman I am today.
1029
00:47:34,949 --> 00:47:35,780
(LAUGHING)
1030
00:47:35,782 --> 00:47:37,989
I think you're arguing
against your own point.
1031
00:47:39,432 --> 00:47:43,159
(FAINT BEAT MUSIC)
1032
00:47:43,161 --> 00:47:43,994
Awwww.
1033
00:47:46,354 --> 00:47:48,166
RYAN: Good job, Evan.
1034
00:47:48,168 --> 00:47:49,719
Was that so bad?
1035
00:47:50,658 --> 00:47:52,158
TRISTA: Oooooh.
1036
00:47:57,266 --> 00:47:59,516
(LAUGHING)
1037
00:48:02,693 --> 00:48:03,526
There.
1038
00:48:04,796 --> 00:48:06,919
Bridget, Evan, thank you for having me.
1039
00:48:06,921 --> 00:48:07,944
Come on!
1040
00:48:07,946 --> 00:48:09,009
You're not leaving!
1041
00:48:10,113 --> 00:48:11,363
Come back!
1042
00:48:11,365 --> 00:48:12,895
Come back!
1043
00:48:12,897 --> 00:48:14,300
Awww.
1044
00:48:14,302 --> 00:48:15,705
Bye, Felicia.
1045
00:48:15,707 --> 00:48:17,957
(LAUGHING)
1046
00:48:19,786 --> 00:48:21,171
Well, that was a play full of awkwardness.
1047
00:48:21,173 --> 00:48:22,584
It was like being kissed
1048
00:48:22,586 --> 00:48:24,619
by a 12 year old virgin of myself.
1049
00:48:24,621 --> 00:48:25,804
(LAUGHING)
1050
00:48:25,806 --> 00:48:27,404
Gotta disinfect.
1051
00:48:27,406 --> 00:48:29,347
Drink it, drink all of it.
1052
00:48:29,349 --> 00:48:31,173
Kill the bottle, kill it.
1053
00:48:31,175 --> 00:48:32,554
(LAUGHING)
1054
00:48:32,556 --> 00:48:34,443
Here, here, I got you.
1055
00:48:34,445 --> 00:48:35,605
(LAUGHING)
1056
00:48:35,607 --> 00:48:36,907
I'm just gonna lick it up.
1057
00:48:42,166 --> 00:48:43,429
Hey, wait up!
1058
00:48:44,406 --> 00:48:45,701
What were you thinking?
1059
00:48:45,703 --> 00:48:47,159
I did you a favor.
1060
00:48:48,327 --> 00:48:49,158
You humiliated me.
1061
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:50,859
I'm not in love with Evan!
1062
00:48:51,906 --> 00:48:52,794
What's it gonna take to get that through
1063
00:48:52,796 --> 00:48:54,194
your pretty, little skull?!
1064
00:48:54,196 --> 00:48:56,504
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
1065
00:48:56,506 --> 00:48:58,433
Maybe one kiss from your
lips is all it would take
1066
00:48:58,435 --> 00:49:01,373
and Evan would decide to
leave Bridget forever.
1067
00:49:01,375 --> 00:49:02,653
If only.
1068
00:49:02,655 --> 00:49:03,973
Aren't you the one who's
supposed to be looking out
1069
00:49:03,975 --> 00:49:05,373
for her best interests?
1070
00:49:05,375 --> 00:49:06,925
What makes you think I'm not?
1071
00:49:08,275 --> 00:49:10,113
Where'd that come from?
1072
00:49:10,115 --> 00:49:12,313
I had lunch at Evan's office last week.
1073
00:49:12,315 --> 00:49:14,263
I got a look at Evan's intern.
1074
00:49:14,265 --> 00:49:16,303
More specifically, I got a look at the way
1075
00:49:16,305 --> 00:49:18,193
Evan looks at her intern.
1076
00:49:18,195 --> 00:49:20,323
I don't know if she's done anything or not
1077
00:49:20,325 --> 00:49:23,053
but I know Evan and I know people
1078
00:49:23,055 --> 00:49:24,463
and I know that the one thing
1079
00:49:24,465 --> 00:49:26,508
that people never, ever do is change.
1080
00:49:29,295 --> 00:49:31,343
Listen, this had been a
little too much reality
1081
00:49:31,345 --> 00:49:32,283
for one night.
1082
00:49:32,285 --> 00:49:35,203
I like substances and I like abusing them.
1083
00:49:35,205 --> 00:49:36,168
I don't know, Ry.
1084
00:49:37,155 --> 00:49:41,043
Some dweezoid left a mondo
of Purple Urkel at my place.
1085
00:49:41,045 --> 00:49:42,473
It's yours for the taking.
1086
00:49:42,475 --> 00:49:44,273
As am I.
1087
00:49:44,275 --> 00:49:45,288
Purple Urkel?
1088
00:49:46,185 --> 00:49:48,933
I cordially invite you
to night of bad decisions
1089
00:49:48,935 --> 00:49:51,196
and debauchery at my apartment.
1090
00:49:51,198 --> 00:49:53,365
(SIGHING)
1091
00:49:54,995 --> 00:49:57,233
Then I cordially
accept but I'm still mad.
1092
00:49:57,235 --> 00:49:59,003
I can live with that.
1093
00:49:59,005 --> 00:50:00,443
Are you gonna try to seduce me again?
1094
00:50:00,445 --> 00:50:02,913
Depends, do you want me to?
1095
00:50:02,915 --> 00:50:03,778
Yeah
1096
00:50:03,780 --> 00:50:04,938
(LAUGHING)
1097
00:50:04,940 --> 00:50:08,857
(EXCITING NEW WAVE BEAT MUSIC)
1098
00:50:14,582 --> 00:50:17,165
(GONG RINGING)
1099
00:50:22,215 --> 00:50:23,893
Hey, Jew bu.
1100
00:50:23,895 --> 00:50:26,053
This isn't Buddha, this is Shiva.
1101
00:50:26,055 --> 00:50:28,003
I thought you were in
an exclusive relationship
1102
00:50:28,005 --> 00:50:29,205
with the God of Abraham.
1103
00:50:30,295 --> 00:50:32,423
I took an Asian
Philosophy class in college.
1104
00:50:32,425 --> 00:50:34,673
I didn't understand a word of it but
1105
00:50:34,675 --> 00:50:36,223
it was graded on a curve so,
1106
00:50:36,225 --> 00:50:37,625
I passed with flying colors.
1107
00:50:38,615 --> 00:50:43,615
And what brought on this
bout of religious bi curiosity?
1108
00:50:43,625 --> 00:50:45,823
Trying, again, to write my novel
1109
00:50:45,825 --> 00:50:48,325
and failing, again, to
come up with a single word.
1110
00:50:49,735 --> 00:50:51,943
And how's this ritual helping you?
1111
00:50:51,945 --> 00:50:54,808
Clearly, you understand nothing
about the writing process.
1112
00:50:57,764 --> 00:50:58,977
I saw Paige yesterday.
1113
00:51:00,034 --> 00:51:00,887
How'd it go?
1114
00:51:01,907 --> 00:51:03,057
I didn't talk to her.
1115
00:51:04,276 --> 00:51:05,982
You can't keep standing
outside your old house
1116
00:51:05,984 --> 00:51:07,422
and spying on her.
1117
00:51:07,424 --> 00:51:08,472
Why not?
1118
00:51:08,474 --> 00:51:09,674
What are yo afraid of?
1119
00:51:10,864 --> 00:51:11,697
Dying alone.
1120
00:51:13,003 --> 00:51:14,497
I think we're in the same boat.
1121
00:51:15,519 --> 00:51:17,719
More like a sinking ship.
1122
00:51:17,721 --> 00:51:19,445
Except, I've long accepted the fact
1123
00:51:19,447 --> 00:51:20,882
that the woman who owns my heart
1124
00:51:20,884 --> 00:51:23,132
will never return my feelings.
1125
00:51:23,134 --> 00:51:24,884
Which bitch are you in love with?
1126
00:51:25,824 --> 00:51:27,312
That's between me and my God.
1127
00:51:27,314 --> 00:51:29,847
Which God, I haven't decided yet.
1128
00:51:31,284 --> 00:51:33,202
If you're obsessed with
some unobtainable girl,
1129
00:51:33,204 --> 00:51:35,232
you have to profess to her your love.
1130
00:51:35,234 --> 00:51:36,982
I'd rather keep writing
engagement announcements
1131
00:51:36,984 --> 00:51:38,992
for the rest of my natural born life.
1132
00:51:38,994 --> 00:51:40,347
So much irony in that.
1133
00:51:41,564 --> 00:51:43,762
You could offer me a million
dollars to write a book,
1134
00:51:43,764 --> 00:51:44,595
right now,
1135
00:51:44,597 --> 00:51:47,292
I wouldn't be able to come
up with a single thing.
1136
00:51:47,294 --> 00:51:49,302
I know what you need
to write a book about.
1137
00:51:49,304 --> 00:51:51,272
Write a book about a group of lesbians
1138
00:51:51,274 --> 00:51:52,832
who are constantly creating
1139
00:51:52,834 --> 00:51:54,722
unnecessary and neuritic problems
1140
00:51:54,724 --> 00:51:58,452
to keep them from dealing with
their terrifying problems,
1141
00:51:58,454 --> 00:52:00,012
like reality.
1142
00:52:00,014 --> 00:52:01,162
Come on.
1143
00:52:01,164 --> 00:52:02,417
No one would read that.
1144
00:52:08,924 --> 00:52:10,862
I'm getting a promotion at the museum.
1145
00:52:10,864 --> 00:52:12,795
That's so great.
1146
00:52:12,797 --> 00:52:16,522
And I might even be getting
a fellowship in Romania.
1147
00:52:16,524 --> 00:52:19,197
Are you still gonna have a
big, gay Republican wedding?
1148
00:52:20,529 --> 00:52:22,122
I don't even wanna think about it.
1149
00:52:22,124 --> 00:52:24,042
Can I be a bridesmaid?
1150
00:52:24,044 --> 00:52:26,892
No one's ever asked me to be a bridesmaid.
1151
00:52:26,894 --> 00:52:28,104
I'm just so
1152
00:52:29,774 --> 00:52:30,912
unsure.
1153
00:52:30,914 --> 00:52:33,747
But you and Evan have
a fairytale romance.
1154
00:52:34,940 --> 00:52:36,737
I love Evan, I do.
1155
00:52:38,961 --> 00:52:41,181
"Ice-kissed frost fire."
1156
00:52:42,314 --> 00:52:43,147
What?
1157
00:52:44,914 --> 00:52:45,747
Nothing.
1158
00:52:49,834 --> 00:52:51,482
Okay.
1159
00:52:51,484 --> 00:52:55,729
Someone wrote Evan an anonymous love note.
1160
00:52:55,731 --> 00:52:57,171
Oh my God.
1161
00:52:57,173 --> 00:52:58,476
That's so pathetic.
1162
00:52:59,603 --> 00:53:02,254
You don't know anything
about it, do you?
1163
00:53:02,256 --> 00:53:05,339
(MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC)
1164
00:53:06,953 --> 00:53:08,311
So good.
1165
00:53:08,313 --> 00:53:09,901
Where'd you learn to
make coffee like this?
1166
00:53:09,903 --> 00:53:11,561
Late nights in stuffy museums,
1167
00:53:11,563 --> 00:53:13,611
a person will resort
to desperate measures.
1168
00:53:13,613 --> 00:53:15,866
Desperate measures is
my area of expertise.
1169
00:53:17,453 --> 00:53:18,853
Hey, Ryan, how's your dad?
1170
00:53:20,143 --> 00:53:21,943
Still hanging on, the old bastard.
1171
00:53:23,543 --> 00:53:25,818
I'm worried about you.
1172
00:53:25,820 --> 00:53:29,831
You don't seem bothered that
your dad is going to die.
1173
00:53:29,833 --> 00:53:31,631
I'm very bothered.
1174
00:53:31,633 --> 00:53:33,351
Once I collect inheritance,
it's gonna put me
1175
00:53:33,353 --> 00:53:35,737
in an entirely new tax bracket.
1176
00:53:35,739 --> 00:53:36,570
That's the other thing.
1177
00:53:36,572 --> 00:53:38,886
You seem obsessed with getting his money.
1178
00:53:40,243 --> 00:53:41,906
Once I become rich,
1179
00:53:43,023 --> 00:53:44,256
I mean, rich rich,
1180
00:53:45,583 --> 00:53:47,933
I'll never have to work
another day of my life.
1181
00:53:49,463 --> 00:53:51,713
I'll just be tattooing
for shits and giggles.
1182
00:53:54,653 --> 00:53:57,901
Evan's paying your tuition
for grad school, right?
1183
00:53:57,903 --> 00:54:00,002
Yeah, but it's just temporary.
1184
00:54:00,004 --> 00:54:02,581
When I get my career going,
I'm gonna pay her back.
1185
00:54:02,583 --> 00:54:05,983
And you're not paying
rent to live with her?
1186
00:54:06,853 --> 00:54:07,684
I try.
1187
00:54:07,686 --> 00:54:11,391
I insisted, actually, but
she wouldn't hear of it.
1188
00:54:11,393 --> 00:54:13,481
She refused to take anything from me
1189
00:54:13,483 --> 00:54:16,036
because we're in love.
1190
00:54:19,313 --> 00:54:20,146
What a world.
1191
00:54:21,163 --> 00:54:21,994
Yeah.
1192
00:54:21,996 --> 00:54:24,541
The world is crazy, right?
1193
00:54:24,543 --> 00:54:25,376
No.
1194
00:54:27,053 --> 00:54:28,000
I meant, yours.
1195
00:54:36,547 --> 00:54:39,994
(VIDEO CASSETTE PLAYER BUZZING)
1196
00:54:39,996 --> 00:54:42,579
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
1197
00:54:49,804 --> 00:54:51,401
I'm thinking June 1st.
1198
00:54:51,403 --> 00:54:53,261
That'll give you enough time to prepare.
1199
00:54:53,263 --> 00:54:55,751
You'll have a wedding planner
to assist you, of course.
1200
00:54:55,753 --> 00:54:58,452
I just got a promotion, I
barely have time as it is.
1201
00:54:59,302 --> 00:55:01,120
I'm thinking a garden wedding.
1202
00:55:01,122 --> 00:55:02,080
I can see it now.
1203
00:55:02,082 --> 00:55:03,290
Our lesbian nuptials will be
1204
00:55:03,292 --> 00:55:05,590
the Republican social
gathering of the year.
1205
00:55:05,592 --> 00:55:07,290
Do you want a wedding ceremony
1206
00:55:07,292 --> 00:55:10,495
or a political gathering
worthy of CNN coverage?
1207
00:55:10,497 --> 00:55:11,620
I can see it now.
1208
00:55:11,622 --> 00:55:13,780
The Republicans can sit
on my side of the isle
1209
00:55:13,782 --> 00:55:16,549
and since your family isn't coming, sorry,
1210
00:55:16,551 --> 00:55:19,095
anyone who are Democrats
appear can sit on yours.
1211
00:55:22,582 --> 00:55:23,415
Ugh.
1212
00:55:24,512 --> 00:55:27,490
I've been, okay, do you
mind if I say something?
1213
00:55:27,492 --> 00:55:28,750
Offensive?
1214
00:55:28,752 --> 00:55:29,989
Just when I thought this conversation
1215
00:55:29,991 --> 00:55:32,090
couldn't get any more interesting.
1216
00:55:32,092 --> 00:55:33,720
Okay.
1217
00:55:33,722 --> 00:55:34,555
Okay.
1218
00:55:36,162 --> 00:55:39,600
Look, I've never seen
a white Arab than you.
1219
00:55:39,602 --> 00:55:41,820
I've never seen a whiter person than you.
1220
00:55:41,822 --> 00:55:44,560
I mean, it's all too easy
with your golden locks
1221
00:55:44,562 --> 00:55:48,145
and your fair skin to
avoid discrimination.
1222
00:55:49,512 --> 00:55:50,362
What about you?
1223
00:55:51,477 --> 00:55:53,540
You think in a million years
anyone would think you were gay
1224
00:55:53,542 --> 00:55:55,090
from looking at you?
1225
00:55:55,092 --> 00:55:57,150
Because that's what I have to live with.
1226
00:55:57,152 --> 00:56:00,630
Every person who sees me sees a dyke.
1227
00:56:00,632 --> 00:56:02,000
It's not a competition.
1228
00:56:02,002 --> 00:56:03,370
My point is that this is a case
1229
00:56:03,372 --> 00:56:05,172
of the pot calling the kettle white.
1230
00:56:06,162 --> 00:56:08,040
As sure is the day is long,
1231
00:56:08,042 --> 00:56:10,070
they will fuck you.
1232
00:56:10,072 --> 00:56:12,290
They will fuck you and me
1233
00:56:12,292 --> 00:56:16,470
and every gay and lesbian
and brown and black person.
1234
00:56:16,472 --> 00:56:19,180
You are delusional if you think
1235
00:56:19,182 --> 00:56:21,000
you're gonna come out ahead on this.
1236
00:56:21,002 --> 00:56:22,702
Now tell me how you really feel.
1237
00:56:24,324 --> 00:56:25,157
Come on.
1238
00:56:27,832 --> 00:56:30,970
Bridget, this is just background noise.
1239
00:56:30,972 --> 00:56:31,803
Let's get married and start
1240
00:56:31,805 --> 00:56:33,615
an exciting new chapter in our lives.
1241
00:56:34,802 --> 00:56:37,780
Do you know many happily
married people, Evan?
1242
00:56:37,782 --> 00:56:38,715
Because I don't.
1243
00:56:41,443 --> 00:56:42,740
(SIGHING)
1244
00:56:42,742 --> 00:56:44,378
This house is falling apart.
1245
00:56:44,380 --> 00:56:46,400
You know, I think you
wanted to redo the house
1246
00:56:46,402 --> 00:56:47,686
so you threw that Halloween party
1247
00:56:47,688 --> 00:56:49,588
knowing how much damage it would make.
1248
00:56:49,590 --> 00:56:51,840
(LAUGHING)
1249
00:56:53,026 --> 00:56:55,144
We need to redo the carpets.
1250
00:56:55,146 --> 00:56:56,989
The walls need new paint.
1251
00:56:56,991 --> 00:56:59,374
I need to get an
estimate on the foundation.
1252
00:57:01,151 --> 00:57:01,984
Yeah.
1253
00:57:03,091 --> 00:57:04,641
Let's fix the foundation first.
1254
00:57:08,233 --> 00:57:09,853
♪ Play the movie ♪
1255
00:57:09,855 --> 00:57:11,755
♪ I want you to smile ♪
1256
00:57:11,757 --> 00:57:13,250
♪ Shut out all the worries ♪
1257
00:57:13,252 --> 00:57:15,612
♪ Dream away for awhile ♪
1258
00:57:15,614 --> 00:57:19,083
♪ The look you had in
your eyes back then ♪
1259
00:57:19,085 --> 00:57:21,242
♪ We'll pretend ♪
1260
00:57:21,244 --> 00:57:23,362
♪ It's 85 again ♪
1261
00:57:23,364 --> 00:57:25,086
♪ Play the tape ♪
1262
00:57:25,088 --> 00:57:27,168
♪ Make me feel like I'm whole ♪
1263
00:57:27,170 --> 00:57:30,973
♪ Take me back again to
see the look of that crow ♪
1264
00:57:30,975 --> 00:57:34,332
♪ The power of love is
back on the screen ♪
1265
00:57:34,334 --> 00:57:36,644
♪ I will have ♪
1266
00:57:36,646 --> 00:57:39,300
♪ 85 again ♪
1267
00:57:39,302 --> 00:57:42,469
(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)
1268
00:58:06,719 --> 00:58:08,679
Ryan, your hands are shaking.
1269
00:58:08,681 --> 00:58:09,739
It's freezing in here.
1270
00:58:09,741 --> 00:58:11,029
Would it kill you to
pay your heating bill?
1271
00:58:11,031 --> 00:58:12,099
Just.
1272
00:58:12,101 --> 00:58:13,729
No, don't stab out my eye.
1273
00:58:13,731 --> 00:58:15,729
My insurance plan sucks!
1274
00:58:15,731 --> 00:58:16,564
RYAN: Damn!
1275
00:58:19,071 --> 00:58:20,221
DOV: How's your dad?
1276
00:58:21,270 --> 00:58:23,689
Ugh, he won't die.
1277
00:58:23,691 --> 00:58:26,999
Did I tell you why I
became a tattoo artist?
1278
00:58:27,001 --> 00:58:28,469
It was to punish him.
1279
00:58:28,471 --> 00:58:31,199
I got this fancy degree in art history
1280
00:58:31,201 --> 00:58:33,079
that cost him a fortune and now I use it
1281
00:58:33,081 --> 00:58:34,759
to give people something they're regret
1282
00:58:34,761 --> 00:58:36,049
for the rest of their lives.
1283
00:58:36,051 --> 00:58:37,351
Like he regrets having me.
1284
00:58:39,501 --> 00:58:42,509
Bridget, you are so beautiful.
1285
00:58:42,511 --> 00:58:44,139
If I were you, I wouldn't
give a second thought
1286
00:58:44,141 --> 00:58:46,089
to the intern at Evan's office.
1287
00:58:46,091 --> 00:58:47,854
You're much prettier than she is.
1288
00:58:48,901 --> 00:58:50,184
Oh, excuse me.
1289
00:58:52,311 --> 00:58:55,671
It's like a "don't do drugs, kids" PSA.
1290
00:58:56,696 --> 00:58:59,863
(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)
1291
00:59:17,630 --> 00:59:19,237
Attention!
1292
00:59:19,239 --> 00:59:20,527
Attention!
1293
00:59:20,529 --> 00:59:22,196
Ladies and gentlemen
1294
00:59:23,057 --> 00:59:25,073
and everyone else.
1295
00:59:25,075 --> 00:59:27,628
I have an announcement!
1296
00:59:27,630 --> 00:59:28,758
Bridget!
1297
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:29,658
Bridget!
1298
00:59:29,660 --> 00:59:30,803
Where are you, baby?
1299
00:59:33,180 --> 00:59:35,478
I know most girls,
1300
00:59:35,480 --> 00:59:38,748
I know most girls lose their
virginity on prom night
1301
00:59:38,750 --> 00:59:42,018
but tonight, I'm hoping that my true love
1302
00:59:42,020 --> 00:59:44,658
will make an honest fella out of me.
1303
00:59:44,660 --> 00:59:46,278
She's wasted.
1304
00:59:46,280 --> 00:59:49,603
This has been burning a
whole in my pocket for weeks.
1305
00:59:50,710 --> 00:59:55,130
Bridget, will you do me
the extraordinary honor
1306
00:59:56,090 --> 00:59:57,653
of becoming my bride?
1307
00:59:59,830 --> 01:00:01,013
Evan, you're drunk.
1308
01:00:02,420 --> 01:00:03,920
Sapphire to match your eyes.
1309
01:00:06,100 --> 01:00:08,243
There's something we
need to talk about first.
1310
01:00:13,310 --> 01:00:14,478
What are we gonna do about
1311
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:16,230
all your late nights at the office?
1312
01:00:17,260 --> 01:00:18,283
What do you mean?
1313
01:00:19,780 --> 01:00:21,938
I'm talking about all
the special attention
1314
01:00:21,940 --> 01:00:23,490
you've been giving your intern.
1315
01:00:33,696 --> 01:00:34,563
(GROANING)
1316
01:00:34,565 --> 01:00:35,648
You told her!
1317
01:00:35,650 --> 01:00:36,488
Why would you tell her?!
1318
01:00:36,490 --> 01:00:38,578
BRIDGET: Evan, stop, let her go!
1319
01:00:38,580 --> 01:00:39,801
Tell me what?
1320
01:00:39,803 --> 01:00:41,023
I wasn't me!
1321
01:00:46,060 --> 01:00:48,523
She didn't tell me anything.
1322
01:00:50,310 --> 01:00:52,460
You just told me everything.
1323
01:00:57,360 --> 01:00:58,191
It's all right.
1324
01:00:58,193 --> 01:01:01,186
She's always like playing hard to get.
1325
01:01:04,703 --> 01:01:06,937
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
1326
01:01:06,939 --> 01:01:08,877
Hey, it's all right.
1327
01:01:08,879 --> 01:01:11,857
It's not a party until
something gets broken.
1328
01:01:11,859 --> 01:01:13,159
Yeah, like my neck.
1329
01:01:14,279 --> 01:01:17,362
(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC)
1330
01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:41,767
Thanks for letting me stay here.
1331
01:01:41,769 --> 01:01:45,227
I really didn't wanna go home tonight.
1332
01:01:45,229 --> 01:01:46,627
Are you sure you wanna stay here?
1333
01:01:46,629 --> 01:01:48,447
I can take the sofa, no problem.
1334
01:01:48,449 --> 01:01:49,280
I don't wanna do that to you.
1335
01:01:49,282 --> 01:01:50,837
I don't wanna kick you out of your bed.
1336
01:01:50,839 --> 01:01:53,062
I mean, it's actually totally okay.
1337
01:01:54,179 --> 01:01:55,332
What is that?
1338
01:01:56,689 --> 01:01:57,767
Oh.
1339
01:01:57,769 --> 01:01:58,600
That.
1340
01:01:58,602 --> 01:01:59,569
That's a long story.
1341
01:02:00,989 --> 01:02:03,537
Also the closest thing I've
had to a woman in my bedroom
1342
01:02:03,539 --> 01:02:04,489
in a long time.
1343
01:02:04,491 --> 01:02:07,477
Well, in this house in forever.
1344
01:02:07,479 --> 01:02:09,878
As long as it's not a sex doll.
1345
01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:10,711
What?
1346
01:02:10,713 --> 01:02:11,987
Oh no, that would be weird.
1347
01:02:11,989 --> 01:02:14,821
Weirder than having a
mannequin in you bedroom?
1348
01:02:14,823 --> 01:02:17,617
(LAUGHING)
1349
01:02:17,619 --> 01:02:20,087
When I was in college, I
was a creative writing major
1350
01:02:20,089 --> 01:02:22,727
who was thoroughly invested in her art
1351
01:02:22,729 --> 01:02:24,999
and in hopes of attracting young ladies
1352
01:02:25,001 --> 01:02:27,086
I came up with this backstory
1353
01:02:27,088 --> 01:02:29,697
that the reason my dad
spiraled into alcoholism
1354
01:02:29,699 --> 01:02:33,747
was because he lost his
job in a mannequin factory.
1355
01:02:33,749 --> 01:02:37,012
I bet the ladies couldn't resist.
1356
01:02:39,089 --> 01:02:40,197
Was any of that true?
1357
01:02:40,199 --> 01:02:41,692
Only the alcoholism part.
1358
01:02:42,579 --> 01:02:43,767
Oh.
1359
01:02:43,769 --> 01:02:45,069
I didn't mean to go there.
1360
01:02:46,969 --> 01:02:48,477
While we're on the topic,
1361
01:02:48,479 --> 01:02:49,929
would you care for a bourbon?
1362
01:02:50,879 --> 01:02:51,712
Sure.
1363
01:02:56,328 --> 01:02:59,216
Oh, "A The Dummies'
Guide to the Dark Ages."
1364
01:02:59,218 --> 01:03:01,368
I didn't know you were
into medieval stuff.
1365
01:03:02,318 --> 01:03:03,151
Yeah, that's.
1366
01:03:05,295 --> 01:03:08,305
"Let me show you how
a kiss should taste."
1367
01:03:10,318 --> 01:03:11,706
Not ready for anyone to see that.
1368
01:03:11,708 --> 01:03:12,843
Ah, still in utero?
1369
01:03:12,845 --> 01:03:15,095
(GIGGLING)
1370
01:03:26,778 --> 01:03:31,376
Do you have a book full of
photos or Ryan somewhere
1371
01:03:31,378 --> 01:03:34,916
or maybe a secret stash of photos
1372
01:03:34,918 --> 01:03:36,836
on each one of your friends?
1373
01:03:36,838 --> 01:03:38,581
No, you're my one and only.
1374
01:03:44,935 --> 01:03:46,785
"Your eyes are blue-torched light."
1375
01:03:53,135 --> 01:03:54,795
"Ice-kissed frost fire."
1376
01:03:55,915 --> 01:03:58,085
BOTH: "My wasted heart melts there."
1377
01:04:00,488 --> 01:04:01,321
It was you?
1378
01:04:03,298 --> 01:04:04,131
Yeah.
1379
01:04:08,998 --> 01:04:11,662
You wrote that for Evan.
1380
01:04:11,664 --> 01:04:13,776
No, no.
1381
01:04:13,778 --> 01:04:15,766
I wrote that for you.
1382
01:04:15,768 --> 01:04:18,181
For you to find.
1383
01:04:22,688 --> 01:04:24,446
When you're alone and you
think no one's watching,
1384
01:04:24,448 --> 01:04:27,166
you get this look on your face
1385
01:04:27,168 --> 01:04:28,404
and I always wonder what you're thinking
1386
01:04:28,406 --> 01:04:30,856
because you look so sad
1387
01:04:30,858 --> 01:04:32,651
but your eyes, they just,
1388
01:04:33,796 --> 01:04:36,241
they turn the most
remarkable shade of blue.
1389
01:04:38,818 --> 01:04:39,911
You notice that?
1390
01:04:41,088 --> 01:04:44,581
Bridget, nothing about you
has ever escaped my attention.
1391
01:04:51,078 --> 01:04:52,756
Maybe if you stare at
her house long enough,
1392
01:04:52,758 --> 01:04:55,083
she'll decide she doesn't
want to divorce you anymore.
1393
01:04:55,085 --> 01:04:56,334
That's what I'm hoping.
1394
01:04:57,887 --> 01:04:59,875
This is technically trespassing.
1395
01:04:59,877 --> 01:05:03,195
If we end up in jail, I'm
gonna miss Black Friday.
1396
01:05:03,197 --> 01:05:05,725
TRISTA: Calm down, you'll
be out by Cyber Monday.
1397
01:05:05,727 --> 01:05:06,560
What's that?
1398
01:05:09,367 --> 01:05:10,935
Hey, Trista?
1399
01:05:10,937 --> 01:05:12,285
Can you spend the night at my house?
1400
01:05:12,287 --> 01:05:14,455
What's up with you being
afraid of your apartment?
1401
01:05:14,457 --> 01:05:18,055
Evan says it's because I'm
paranoid from all the coke.
1402
01:05:18,057 --> 01:05:19,935
Hey, can we talk about something?
1403
01:05:19,937 --> 01:05:20,820
Shit.
1404
01:05:22,552 --> 01:05:23,763
RYAN: What's going on?
1405
01:05:23,765 --> 01:05:25,488
(TRISTA LAUGHING)
1406
01:05:25,490 --> 01:05:26,407
Oh, look.
1407
01:05:28,317 --> 01:05:29,148
Oh no.
1408
01:05:29,150 --> 01:05:29,983
No, no, no, no.
1409
01:05:31,367 --> 01:05:32,535
She's with someone.
1410
01:05:32,537 --> 01:05:33,370
No way.
1411
01:05:35,272 --> 01:05:37,085
That bitch.
1412
01:05:37,087 --> 01:05:38,387
Maybe that's her sister.
1413
01:05:42,067 --> 01:05:43,990
I really hope that's not her sister.
1414
01:05:45,877 --> 01:05:46,708
I've had enough.
1415
01:05:46,710 --> 01:05:48,021
Trista, no!
1416
01:05:48,023 --> 01:05:49,273
Let go of me.
1417
01:05:50,314 --> 01:05:53,332
(GROANING)
1418
01:05:53,334 --> 01:05:55,334
I want to go fight her.
1419
01:05:57,926 --> 01:06:00,105
I'm gonna fight her.
1420
01:06:00,107 --> 01:06:02,760
Jesus Christ, you've got
freakish coke strength.
1421
01:06:03,928 --> 01:06:06,178
(GROANING)
1422
01:06:09,937 --> 01:06:12,725
Here we go, you're coming with me.
1423
01:06:12,727 --> 01:06:14,977
(GROANING)
1424
01:06:16,009 --> 01:06:17,706
I gotta go.
1425
01:06:17,708 --> 01:06:20,145
(SHUSHING)
1426
01:06:20,147 --> 01:06:20,980
Oh my God.
1427
01:06:23,621 --> 01:06:25,335
I'm performing an intervention.
1428
01:06:25,337 --> 01:06:26,170
Jesus.
1429
01:06:27,925 --> 01:06:29,008
Don't move.
1430
01:06:39,227 --> 01:06:41,115
TRISTA: Get off me!
1431
01:06:41,117 --> 01:06:42,875
You may be stronger than me
1432
01:06:42,877 --> 01:06:44,195
but I am meaner.
1433
01:06:44,197 --> 01:06:46,441
And you are not going into that house.
1434
01:06:46,443 --> 01:06:48,610
(SIGHING)
1435
01:06:56,196 --> 01:06:58,675
Evan's always been the one, you know?
1436
01:06:58,677 --> 01:07:02,714
I never even had any other
girlfriends in high school.
1437
01:07:02,716 --> 01:07:04,124
Believe it or not,
1438
01:07:04,126 --> 01:07:05,507
I was kinda of a geek.
1439
01:07:05,509 --> 01:07:08,023
(GIGGLING)
1440
01:07:08,025 --> 01:07:09,779
Sometimes I do wonder,
1441
01:07:10,796 --> 01:07:12,181
I think to myself,
1442
01:07:12,183 --> 01:07:14,970
"What if Evan hadn't
picked me up that night?"
1443
01:07:14,972 --> 01:07:19,114
I don't necessarily subscribe
to M-Theory or String Theory
1444
01:07:19,116 --> 01:07:21,139
but the very possibility of a multiverse
1445
01:07:21,141 --> 01:07:22,633
has got to make you wonder.
1446
01:07:22,635 --> 01:07:26,469
Well, if you hadn't been with
Evan, we never would've met.
1447
01:07:27,586 --> 01:07:30,689
I thought I'd be angry, furious, upset.
1448
01:07:32,026 --> 01:07:33,856
Instead, I just feel...
1449
01:07:35,386 --> 01:07:36,509
Emptiness.
1450
01:07:38,829 --> 01:07:43,169
Speaking of emptiness.
1451
01:07:43,171 --> 01:07:45,338
(SIGHING)
1452
01:07:47,756 --> 01:07:51,094
The reason I spend so
much time around Evan
1453
01:07:51,096 --> 01:07:53,076
is because wherever she is
1454
01:07:54,936 --> 01:07:56,684
you are there too.
1455
01:07:56,686 --> 01:07:57,517
Huh?
1456
01:07:57,519 --> 01:08:00,384
And I think the reason
I'm not seeing anyone
1457
01:08:00,386 --> 01:08:02,726
or looking to meet anyone is because
1458
01:08:04,366 --> 01:08:06,036
to me you are perfect.
1459
01:08:08,086 --> 01:08:09,584
Oh my God.
1460
01:08:09,586 --> 01:08:10,986
Since the moment I met you
1461
01:08:12,087 --> 01:08:12,920
I've been
1462
01:08:14,346 --> 01:08:15,239
secretly,
1463
01:08:16,206 --> 01:08:17,179
madly,
1464
01:08:19,496 --> 01:08:20,529
in love with you.
1465
01:08:24,836 --> 01:08:26,676
How could I not have seen this?
1466
01:08:31,466 --> 01:08:33,324
How could I not have seen you?
1467
01:08:33,326 --> 01:08:35,076
I wish I could just
1468
01:08:36,148 --> 01:08:39,824
cut you into a million pieces
and scatter you across the sky
1469
01:08:39,826 --> 01:08:41,439
and count you like stars.
1470
01:08:42,926 --> 01:08:44,556
I think that
1471
01:08:45,626 --> 01:08:49,899
is the most romantic thing
anyone has ever said to me.
1472
01:08:50,784 --> 01:08:54,701
(EXCITING NEW WAVE BEAT MUSIC)
1473
01:09:19,005 --> 01:09:21,895
I've loved you since
the moment I saw you.
1474
01:09:21,897 --> 01:09:26,897
Not a day's gone by I
haven't dreamed of this!
1475
01:09:31,769 --> 01:09:33,608
(SMACKING)
1476
01:09:33,610 --> 01:09:35,743
(GASPING)
1477
01:09:35,745 --> 01:09:36,578
I'm sorry.
1478
01:09:37,425 --> 01:09:38,808
I don't know why I did that.
1479
01:09:40,532 --> 01:09:42,471
You're a goddess.
1480
01:09:42,473 --> 01:09:46,609
(EXCITING NEW WAVE BEAT MUSIC)
1481
01:09:46,611 --> 01:09:48,778
(HUFFING)
1482
01:10:02,125 --> 01:10:04,292
(HUFFING)
1483
01:10:16,364 --> 01:10:18,614
(LAUGHING)
1484
01:10:27,329 --> 01:10:29,399
My bra.
(GIGGLING)
1485
01:10:29,401 --> 01:10:33,318
(EXCITING NEW WAVE BEAT MUSIC)
1486
01:10:44,308 --> 01:10:46,475
(MOANING)
1487
01:11:01,225 --> 01:11:05,308
You're the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
1488
01:11:10,118 --> 01:11:13,285
(DRAMATIC BEAT MUSIC)
1489
01:11:17,087 --> 01:11:19,754
(AMBIENT MUSIC)
1490
01:11:29,462 --> 01:11:31,082
Hey.
1491
01:11:31,084 --> 01:11:31,917
Hey.
1492
01:11:38,951 --> 01:11:40,315
Wait.
1493
01:11:40,317 --> 01:11:41,650
I wanna see you.
1494
01:11:47,354 --> 01:11:48,514
There you are.
1495
01:11:48,516 --> 01:11:50,766
(GIGGLING)
1496
01:11:55,157 --> 01:11:57,324
(MOANING)
1497
01:12:01,964 --> 01:12:04,491
(KNOCKING)
1498
01:12:04,493 --> 01:12:05,564
Trista?
1499
01:12:05,566 --> 01:12:06,397
EVAN: It's Evan.
1500
01:12:06,399 --> 01:12:08,013
(GASPING)
1501
01:12:08,015 --> 01:12:10,120
How is she here?
1502
01:12:10,122 --> 01:12:12,483
No one locked the door!
1503
01:12:12,485 --> 01:12:13,316
Hold on.
1504
01:12:13,318 --> 01:12:14,751
(THUDDING)
Shit!
1505
01:12:14,753 --> 01:12:15,824
(GROANING)
1506
01:12:15,826 --> 01:12:17,409
Hold on one minute.
1507
01:12:22,427 --> 01:12:23,972
A thousand pardons
1508
01:12:23,974 --> 01:12:26,697
for my behavior last night.
1509
01:12:28,464 --> 01:12:31,162
I know you are not the
one who told Bridget.
1510
01:12:31,164 --> 01:12:33,352
I know you wouldn't do that.
1511
01:12:33,354 --> 01:12:34,592
Hey.
1512
01:12:34,594 --> 01:12:37,282
Now is not the best time right now.
1513
01:12:37,284 --> 01:12:38,817
If you know what I mean.
1514
01:12:41,079 --> 01:12:42,972
Oh shit.
1515
01:12:42,974 --> 01:12:44,858
You have a girl back there?
1516
01:12:44,860 --> 01:12:46,502
(LAUGHING)
1517
01:12:46,504 --> 01:12:48,547
Yeah, I can't wait to
tell you all about it.
1518
01:12:48,549 --> 01:12:50,242
I gotta tell you, I
always wondered about you.
1519
01:12:50,244 --> 01:12:52,202
I thought maybe you were
one of those straight girls
1520
01:12:52,204 --> 01:12:53,252
who pretends to be gay
1521
01:12:53,254 --> 01:12:55,572
because she thinks it
makes her more interesting.
1522
01:12:55,574 --> 01:12:57,411
Evan, you have no idea.
1523
01:12:57,413 --> 01:12:58,541
Oh.
1524
01:12:58,543 --> 01:13:01,296
Hey, just confirm for me
that it's a woman in there.
1525
01:13:10,183 --> 01:13:11,783
This isn't what it looks like.
1526
01:13:12,693 --> 01:13:14,743
It looks like you fucked my girlfriend.
1527
01:13:16,813 --> 01:13:19,846
That's exactly what it looks like.
1528
01:13:21,323 --> 01:13:23,316
You know it wasn't her idea, Evan.
1529
01:13:26,833 --> 01:13:28,761
I know that if we fight, you'll win,
1530
01:13:28,763 --> 01:13:31,391
but I will inflict as much
damage on you as possible
1531
01:13:31,393 --> 01:13:32,311
before you bring me down.
1532
01:13:32,313 --> 01:13:33,731
And you will have to kill me
1533
01:13:33,733 --> 01:13:35,633
before I let you go anywhere near her.
1534
01:13:39,013 --> 01:13:41,806
You got a lot of, what is
that word you people use?
1535
01:13:42,873 --> 01:13:44,531
Chutzpah?
1536
01:13:44,533 --> 01:13:45,930
Yeah, chutzpah.
1537
01:13:47,363 --> 01:13:48,581
Stop it, Evan.
1538
01:13:48,583 --> 01:13:50,436
Do not speak to me!
1539
01:13:55,213 --> 01:13:57,876
Do not ever come back to my house again.
1540
01:13:59,663 --> 01:14:01,446
I don't ever wanna see your face.
1541
01:14:29,634 --> 01:14:32,634
(SOMBER BEAT MUSIC)
1542
01:14:56,422 --> 01:14:57,255
Hey.
1543
01:14:58,642 --> 01:15:00,190
Hey!
1544
01:15:00,192 --> 01:15:01,565
Hey, sleepyhead.
1545
01:15:02,545 --> 01:15:03,505
What time is it?
1546
01:15:04,652 --> 01:15:06,310
Time for me to go to work.
1547
01:15:06,312 --> 01:15:09,100
I'll be in so much
trouble if I'm late again.
1548
01:15:09,102 --> 01:15:10,640
How long have I been here?
1549
01:15:10,642 --> 01:15:12,585
Hello, since we got back.
1550
01:15:13,592 --> 01:15:14,940
Wait.
1551
01:15:14,942 --> 01:15:18,060
We went to Paige's, you tackled me
1552
01:15:18,062 --> 01:15:22,057
and why don't I remember
anything after that?
1553
01:15:22,059 --> 01:15:25,260
We came back here and
you were super upset
1554
01:15:25,262 --> 01:15:27,560
and I have some diazepam, so...
1555
01:15:27,562 --> 01:15:29,130
How much did you give me?
1556
01:15:29,132 --> 01:15:30,850
You asked for a loading dose.
1557
01:15:30,852 --> 01:15:32,170
Fuck.
1558
01:15:32,172 --> 01:15:34,720
And I don't play so I got out
these old pharmacy textbooks
1559
01:15:34,722 --> 01:15:38,121
and I asked you your weight
and I added 20 pounds
1560
01:15:38,123 --> 01:15:42,258
because I know I always take
off 20 when anyone asks me.
1561
01:15:42,260 --> 01:15:43,420
I gotta get out of here.
1562
01:15:43,422 --> 01:15:44,472
I wouldn't do that.
1563
01:15:46,632 --> 01:15:47,465
Oh no.
1564
01:15:55,612 --> 01:15:57,735
Like I said, a loading dose.
1565
01:15:58,792 --> 01:15:59,725
Up we go.
1566
01:16:01,149 --> 01:16:02,590
(GROANING)
1567
01:16:02,592 --> 01:16:04,145
This is why my wife left me.
1568
01:16:06,682 --> 01:16:09,463
No one should have to live like this.
1569
01:16:09,465 --> 01:16:11,715
I decline my invitation
to your pity party.
1570
01:16:14,962 --> 01:16:18,519
This is like "Whatever
Happened to Baby Jane."
1571
01:16:19,644 --> 01:16:20,990
And I'm baby Jane.
(LAUGHING)
1572
01:16:20,992 --> 01:16:22,820
If the rule that you
followed led you here,
1573
01:16:22,822 --> 01:16:24,425
of what use was the rule?
1574
01:16:25,294 --> 01:16:27,544
(GROANING)
1575
01:16:28,614 --> 01:16:30,387
(LAUGHING)
1576
01:16:30,389 --> 01:16:33,040
You dare get existential on me now.
1577
01:16:33,042 --> 01:16:36,045
You're Monday-morning
quarterbacking your entire life.
1578
01:17:02,811 --> 01:17:03,644
Shoot.
1579
01:17:07,956 --> 01:17:08,802
(EVAN GRUNTING)
1580
01:17:08,804 --> 01:17:10,159
(GASPING)
1581
01:17:10,161 --> 01:17:11,698
You scared me.
1582
01:17:11,700 --> 01:17:13,374
I had your things sent to you.
1583
01:17:14,401 --> 01:17:17,301
Yeah, well, you forgot some
of my weapons, so here I am.
1584
01:17:18,411 --> 01:17:19,969
I thought you'd be sleeping.
1585
01:17:19,971 --> 01:17:22,529
I've reverted to my old schedule.
1586
01:17:22,531 --> 01:17:25,324
Sleep by day, live by night.
1587
01:17:27,661 --> 01:17:28,979
What about your job?
1588
01:17:28,981 --> 01:17:30,581
Oh yeah, I haven't been going.
1589
01:17:31,731 --> 01:17:32,564
Why?
1590
01:17:35,231 --> 01:17:37,999
My dad took a contribution
from an organization
1591
01:17:38,001 --> 01:17:41,109
whose leader once said that
gays should be rounded up
1592
01:17:41,111 --> 01:17:42,334
and thrown off cliffs.
1593
01:17:43,391 --> 01:17:44,341
Are you quitting?
1594
01:17:52,821 --> 01:17:54,449
I moved in with Ryan.
1595
01:17:54,451 --> 01:17:55,284
I heard.
1596
01:17:56,241 --> 01:17:57,096
Will I also be footing the bill
1597
01:17:57,098 --> 01:17:58,764
for your share of Ryan's rent?
1598
01:17:59,730 --> 01:18:01,589
I don't have to listen to this.
1599
01:18:01,591 --> 01:18:02,424
Sweets,
1600
01:18:04,241 --> 01:18:05,941
you couldn't ignore me if you try.
1601
01:18:07,111 --> 01:18:08,819
Don't throw that in my face!
1602
01:18:08,821 --> 01:18:09,652
What?
1603
01:18:09,654 --> 01:18:11,779
That I've been paying for
your Ivy League education?
1604
01:18:11,781 --> 01:18:13,249
Or that I have supported you for years
1605
01:18:13,251 --> 01:18:18,251
and I've only asked you for
one, one thing, in return?!
1606
01:18:18,711 --> 01:18:21,739
How could I marry someone
who did what you did to me?
1607
01:18:21,741 --> 01:18:22,809
I did nothing to you!
1608
01:18:22,811 --> 01:18:23,729
Yeah, that's right,
1609
01:18:23,731 --> 01:18:25,289
you were too busy doing
it to someone else!
1610
01:18:25,291 --> 01:18:26,649
You let Dov fuck you!
1611
01:18:26,651 --> 01:18:29,529
I know it wasn't the other
way around, pillow princess.
1612
01:18:29,531 --> 01:18:31,614
You've always been more of a taker.
1613
01:18:33,211 --> 01:18:37,089
You have fucked everyone and everything
1614
01:18:37,091 --> 01:18:39,391
and you've been doing
it since the day we met!
1615
01:18:40,711 --> 01:18:41,544
And I,
1616
01:18:43,531 --> 01:18:45,509
I loved you too much to admit to myself
1617
01:18:45,511 --> 01:18:46,342
what I knew to be true.
1618
01:18:46,344 --> 01:18:48,399
Love me or you needed me?
1619
01:18:48,401 --> 01:18:50,159
Which one, Bridget?
1620
01:18:50,161 --> 01:18:50,994
You love me?
1621
01:18:51,861 --> 01:18:54,489
It's very easy to be
taken care of, isn't it?
1622
01:18:54,491 --> 01:18:56,988
Makes it so much easier
not to see the things
1623
01:18:56,990 --> 01:18:58,420
you don't want to.
1624
01:19:00,500 --> 01:19:01,331
What changed it for you?
1625
01:19:01,333 --> 01:19:03,600
What made you go, "You know,
I've had a really great time
1626
01:19:03,602 --> 01:19:05,185
"not having to work for anything
1627
01:19:05,187 --> 01:19:06,515
"but now I think I'm gonna get rid of
1628
01:19:06,517 --> 01:19:08,007
"good old reliable Evan."
1629
01:19:10,400 --> 01:19:12,373
I fucking love you!
1630
01:19:13,333 --> 01:19:16,718
I've loved you since I was 18 years old.
1631
01:19:16,720 --> 01:19:18,528
Not a day has gone by since
1632
01:19:18,530 --> 01:19:21,328
that you haven't been the
love of my fucking life!
1633
01:19:21,330 --> 01:19:23,918
I know you're a cheater,
I know you screw around.
1634
01:19:23,920 --> 01:19:26,321
That is why I wouldn't marry you!
1635
01:19:26,323 --> 01:19:29,058
I will stop fucking around
when I have tangible proof
1636
01:19:29,060 --> 01:19:30,221
that you're not in this for a free ride.
1637
01:19:30,223 --> 01:19:32,278
You had something better than tangible,
1638
01:19:32,280 --> 01:19:34,698
you had something real!
1639
01:19:34,700 --> 01:19:36,550
You're discussing us in past tense.
1640
01:19:37,630 --> 01:19:39,447
Doesn't get any more real than that.
1641
01:19:42,168 --> 01:19:43,941
Shut up for a second.
1642
01:19:43,943 --> 01:19:45,360
Shut the fuck up.
1643
01:19:47,410 --> 01:19:49,460
Or maybe it was your guilt that was real.
1644
01:19:51,980 --> 01:19:54,858
And why would I feel guilty, Evan?
1645
01:19:54,860 --> 01:19:57,578
I've always been there for
you when no one else was.
1646
01:19:57,580 --> 01:19:59,963
Maybe you were guilting
yourself into staying with me.
1647
01:20:02,921 --> 01:20:04,451
Stupid.
1648
01:20:04,453 --> 01:20:06,003
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
1649
01:20:09,190 --> 01:20:11,218
You are telling me that
you've been fucking around
1650
01:20:11,220 --> 01:20:13,555
this whole time because you thought
1651
01:20:13,557 --> 01:20:15,988
I felt I owed you something?!
1652
01:20:15,990 --> 01:20:18,152
That I was using you?!
1653
01:20:18,154 --> 01:20:21,388
And all you had to do was
ask me and I woulda told you
1654
01:20:21,390 --> 01:20:22,933
that none of that was true!
1655
01:20:28,020 --> 01:20:28,953
I love you.
1656
01:20:31,070 --> 01:20:32,448
I love you! I love you!
1657
01:20:32,450 --> 01:20:33,413
I love you!
1658
01:20:39,690 --> 01:20:41,228
Say
1659
01:20:41,230 --> 01:20:42,063
something.
1660
01:20:47,513 --> 01:20:49,013
Good luck in the real world.
1661
01:20:52,421 --> 01:20:54,671
(SMACKING)
1662
01:20:55,651 --> 01:20:57,984
(CHUCKLING)
1663
01:21:07,289 --> 01:21:09,139
This is the part where I leave you.
1664
01:21:34,220 --> 01:21:37,137
(FAINT BEAT MUSIC)
1665
01:21:55,616 --> 01:21:58,224
"The Shipwreck Diaries.
1666
01:21:58,226 --> 01:22:01,359
"A Novel by Dov Dolenz."
1667
01:22:03,489 --> 01:22:04,792
You wrote a book?
1668
01:22:07,221 --> 01:22:08,517
(LAUGHING)
1669
01:22:08,519 --> 01:22:09,352
Yeah.
1670
01:22:11,459 --> 01:22:12,377
Let's go read it.
1671
01:22:12,379 --> 01:22:13,212
Okay.
1672
01:22:26,352 --> 01:22:27,497
Dov.
1673
01:22:27,499 --> 01:22:28,332
Yeah?
1674
01:22:30,149 --> 01:22:31,292
This is amazing.
1675
01:22:32,919 --> 01:22:34,117
Are you sure?
1676
01:22:34,119 --> 01:22:35,987
I mean, I've had women say that before
1677
01:22:35,989 --> 01:22:38,942
but I haven't always
trusted their sincerity.
1678
01:22:38,944 --> 01:22:39,777
Yes.
1679
01:22:40,729 --> 01:22:43,717
This is so exciting, I
mean, you wrote a book.
1680
01:22:43,719 --> 01:22:45,937
I'll be back to writing
engagement announcements tomorrow.
1681
01:22:45,939 --> 01:22:48,722
Yeah, maybe, but this
book is gonna be big.
1682
01:22:50,189 --> 01:22:51,922
When did you do this?
1683
01:22:52,809 --> 01:22:54,407
The last three nights I just stayed up.
1684
01:22:54,409 --> 01:22:55,731
It was pouring out of me.
1685
01:22:56,798 --> 01:22:57,631
It was you.
1686
01:22:59,428 --> 01:23:02,378
Bridget, I couldn't have written
this if it wasn't for you.
1687
01:23:08,488 --> 01:23:09,321
Dov.
1688
01:23:12,294 --> 01:23:14,461
(MOANING)
1689
01:23:23,963 --> 01:23:26,130
(HUFFING)
1690
01:23:44,908 --> 01:23:47,081
Can I be godmother
to your finger babies?
1691
01:23:49,768 --> 01:23:50,601
Very funny.
1692
01:23:52,065 --> 01:23:54,232
(MOANING)
1693
01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:03,769
I need to share this book with Ryan.
1694
01:24:03,771 --> 01:24:04,602
No
1695
01:24:04,604 --> 01:24:05,437
I gotta show her.
1696
01:24:07,968 --> 01:24:10,098
Yeah, yes, yes, yes.
1697
01:24:20,261 --> 01:24:22,428
(SIGHING)
1698
01:24:25,618 --> 01:24:26,781
I'll be back.
1699
01:24:31,372 --> 01:24:33,959
(SIGHING)
1700
01:24:33,961 --> 01:24:37,711
Ryan, Dov wrote a novel
and it's really good.
1701
01:24:38,934 --> 01:24:40,506
"The Shipwreck Diaries."
1702
01:24:40,508 --> 01:24:42,008
I loved that when I was a kid.
1703
01:24:42,848 --> 01:24:45,531
This is Dov's book.
1704
01:24:46,828 --> 01:24:47,766
Gotta split.
1705
01:24:47,768 --> 01:24:49,639
One of my friends is waiting on me.
1706
01:24:49,641 --> 01:24:51,786
Have I got any messages?
1707
01:24:51,788 --> 01:24:53,057
Is my dad dead?
1708
01:24:53,059 --> 01:24:53,890
(GIGGLING)
Dad-dead.
1709
01:24:53,892 --> 01:24:54,945
Ryan, are these the new friends
1710
01:24:54,947 --> 01:24:56,525
that Evan had to save you from?
1711
01:24:56,527 --> 01:24:59,130
Oh, that Evan, telling
tales out of school.
1712
01:25:05,927 --> 01:25:07,460
She's falling apart.
1713
01:25:08,337 --> 01:25:10,537
Hey, even the Sistine
Chapel is crumbling.
1714
01:25:12,197 --> 01:25:13,030
Yeah.
1715
01:25:14,577 --> 01:25:15,410
Dov,
1716
01:25:17,447 --> 01:25:18,350
your book.
1717
01:25:19,577 --> 01:25:20,935
Second thoughts.
1718
01:25:20,937 --> 01:25:22,875
Not as great as you thought
it was five minutes ago?
1719
01:25:22,877 --> 01:25:23,915
It's amazing.
1720
01:25:23,917 --> 01:25:26,950
It's just the characters,
1721
01:25:28,417 --> 01:25:30,265
it's us, right, the gang?
1722
01:25:30,267 --> 01:25:32,745
You, me, Trista,
1723
01:25:32,747 --> 01:25:34,085
Evan, Ryan?
1724
01:25:34,087 --> 01:25:36,640
Yeah but I'm not
anticipating any lawsuits.
1725
01:25:39,387 --> 01:25:40,722
And I'm Kahlan
1726
01:25:40,724 --> 01:25:41,760
and you're Cara?
1727
01:25:43,127 --> 01:25:44,856
Pretty obvious, huh?
1728
01:25:44,858 --> 01:25:46,025
And Kahlan and Cara,
1729
01:25:46,027 --> 01:25:48,135
they wind up together in the end, right?
1730
01:25:48,137 --> 01:25:50,495
Specifically moving in
together and getting married.
1731
01:25:50,497 --> 01:25:54,015
Oh, right, but Bridget,
it's just a book.
1732
01:25:54,017 --> 01:25:57,100
I've been up the past
two days, three days.
1733
01:25:59,034 --> 01:26:01,394
It's all artistic license.
1734
01:26:01,396 --> 01:26:02,229
I know.
1735
01:26:04,817 --> 01:26:06,540
I just need you to understand,
1736
01:26:08,497 --> 01:26:10,630
I just got out of a really bad situation.
1737
01:26:12,307 --> 01:26:14,705
Is this what you think
this is, a bad situation?
1738
01:26:14,707 --> 01:26:15,710
No, no.
1739
01:26:18,675 --> 01:26:19,990
It's wonderful.
1740
01:26:21,567 --> 01:26:24,010
But it's still a situation.
1741
01:26:25,654 --> 01:26:26,487
Oh.
1742
01:26:27,827 --> 01:26:28,660
Okay.
1743
01:26:30,177 --> 01:26:32,122
That night, when I
found out you'd written
1744
01:26:32,124 --> 01:26:33,510
"blue torch light" for me,
1745
01:26:34,397 --> 01:26:36,607
and then you wrote
another poem on the spot
1746
01:26:38,007 --> 01:26:41,465
and beautiful words were
just coming out of you.
1747
01:26:41,467 --> 01:26:43,700
Beautiful words always come out of you.
1748
01:26:44,717 --> 01:26:49,405
I just got so lost in
everything that you were saying
1749
01:26:49,407 --> 01:26:51,905
and in everything that you are.
1750
01:26:51,907 --> 01:26:53,400
And I'm really good in bed.
1751
01:27:00,089 --> 01:27:02,139
It's easy to fall in love with someone.
1752
01:27:04,926 --> 01:27:06,949
Falling out of love,
1753
01:27:07,816 --> 01:27:10,139
that is a lot harder.
1754
01:27:12,266 --> 01:27:14,416
It always comes back
to Evan, doesn't it?
1755
01:27:17,236 --> 01:27:18,256
I wish...
1756
01:27:19,826 --> 01:27:20,659
I...
1757
01:27:23,446 --> 01:27:25,919
I wish I could forget.
1758
01:27:26,876 --> 01:27:27,709
But...
1759
01:27:29,996 --> 01:27:31,546
She's been the love of my life.
1760
01:27:39,206 --> 01:27:40,405
Okay.
1761
01:27:40,407 --> 01:27:41,779
I understand.
1762
01:27:43,976 --> 01:27:45,389
You gave me the inspiration.
1763
01:27:46,966 --> 01:27:49,799
I got the book but I lost the girl.
1764
01:27:50,976 --> 01:27:55,604
You are gonna get so
much more out of this book
1765
01:27:55,606 --> 01:27:57,179
than you ever would me.
1766
01:27:58,716 --> 01:28:00,229
I respectfully disagree.
1767
01:28:07,306 --> 01:28:08,659
I don't wanna lose you.
1768
01:28:12,283 --> 01:28:13,116
I need you.
1769
01:28:15,106 --> 01:28:17,189
(CRYING)
1770
01:28:19,916 --> 01:28:20,766
I need you too.
1771
01:28:22,641 --> 01:28:26,308
(FAINT DRAMATIC BEAT MUSIC)
1772
01:28:31,046 --> 01:28:33,224
Nobody understands the
rules for the Brat Pack.
1773
01:28:33,226 --> 01:28:36,024
The rules for the Brat Pack are, A,
1774
01:28:36,026 --> 01:28:38,304
starring in either "St. Elmo's Fire"
1775
01:28:38,306 --> 01:28:39,464
or "The Breakfast Club,"
1776
01:28:39,466 --> 01:28:41,374
and B, being in at least one other movie
1777
01:28:41,376 --> 01:28:43,044
with anther Brat Packer.
1778
01:28:43,046 --> 01:28:45,314
So that's eight people.
1779
01:28:45,316 --> 01:28:47,104
Judd Nelson,
1780
01:28:47,106 --> 01:28:48,604
Rob Lowe,
1781
01:28:48,606 --> 01:28:50,214
Molly Ringwald,
1782
01:28:50,216 --> 01:28:52,154
Anthony Michael Hall, Emilio Estevez,
1783
01:28:52,156 --> 01:28:54,574
Ally Sheedy, Andrew McCarthy,
1784
01:28:54,576 --> 01:28:57,023
and last but certainly not least,
1785
01:28:57,025 --> 01:28:58,083
Demi Moore.
1786
01:28:58,085 --> 01:28:59,053
Who didn't make the cut?
1787
01:28:59,055 --> 01:29:00,473
Mare Winningham.
1788
01:29:00,475 --> 01:29:02,803
Mare was in "St. Elmo's Fire"
1789
01:29:02,805 --> 01:29:05,405
but never in another movie
with another Brat Packer.
1790
01:29:10,524 --> 01:29:11,863
Mare Winningham.
1791
01:29:11,865 --> 01:29:12,793
Who is he?
1792
01:29:12,795 --> 01:29:16,008
Oh my God, I don't even
know why I talk to you.
1793
01:29:17,190 --> 01:29:20,283
Whenever you start talking
about pistachios and inter...
1794
01:29:20,285 --> 01:29:22,303
Pastiche and intertertextuality.
1795
01:29:22,305 --> 01:29:24,013
Right, intertertextuality.
1796
01:29:24,015 --> 01:29:27,113
It sounds like a new sexual orientation.
1797
01:29:27,115 --> 01:29:29,865
If you were on the Table
of Elements, you'd be moron.
1798
01:29:36,405 --> 01:29:37,438
Yeah, it's me!
1799
01:29:44,622 --> 01:29:46,705
(CRYING)
1800
01:29:48,467 --> 01:29:50,217
Is your phone hot?
1801
01:30:06,568 --> 01:30:07,401
Evan?
1802
01:30:13,451 --> 01:30:14,284
Evan?
1803
01:30:18,611 --> 01:30:19,444
Evan?
1804
01:30:26,733 --> 01:30:27,566
Evan.
1805
01:30:29,671 --> 01:30:30,668
Evan.
1806
01:30:33,305 --> 01:30:34,883
Hey.
1807
01:30:34,885 --> 01:30:35,716
Evan!
1808
01:30:35,718 --> 01:30:36,558
Come on, wake up!
1809
01:30:40,255 --> 01:30:41,088
Evan.
1810
01:30:42,467 --> 01:30:44,634
(SIGHING)
1811
01:30:52,314 --> 01:30:54,481
(GASPING)
1812
01:30:56,454 --> 01:30:57,592
I had to.
1813
01:30:57,594 --> 01:30:59,987
Why are you here?
1814
01:31:01,044 --> 01:31:01,877
Again!
1815
01:31:03,173 --> 01:31:04,117
Fuck!
1816
01:31:05,864 --> 01:31:07,442
Nice, She-Ra.
1817
01:31:07,444 --> 01:31:08,855
It's invaluable, okay?
1818
01:31:08,857 --> 01:31:10,432
I couldn't leave it in the car.
1819
01:31:10,434 --> 01:31:12,712
It's nice to know you
cherish something so dearly.
1820
01:31:12,714 --> 01:31:14,402
Why haven't you been taking my calls?
1821
01:31:14,404 --> 01:31:15,682
I'm focused on the future.
1822
01:31:15,684 --> 01:31:18,062
Not the past.
1823
01:31:18,064 --> 01:31:21,572
This isn't about me and
you, Evan, this is about Ryan.
1824
01:31:21,574 --> 01:31:23,702
She called me while I was
at the museum, crying.
1825
01:31:23,704 --> 01:31:25,019
She said the debt collectors
are coming to take away
1826
01:31:25,021 --> 01:31:27,161
all of her stuff tomorrow.
1827
01:31:27,163 --> 01:31:28,272
I thought she was loaded.
1828
01:31:28,274 --> 01:31:31,222
I don't understand it
anymore than you do but
1829
01:31:31,224 --> 01:31:33,502
she said she's gonna lock
herself in her bathroom
1830
01:31:33,504 --> 01:31:35,962
and drown herself in the bathtub.
1831
01:31:35,964 --> 01:31:38,264
That is literally an
impossible thing to do.
1832
01:31:40,044 --> 01:31:42,262
Well we have to do something.
1833
01:31:42,264 --> 01:31:44,192
This is not am MP.
1834
01:31:44,194 --> 01:31:45,027
It's a YP.
1835
01:31:46,474 --> 01:31:48,152
Your problem.
1836
01:31:48,154 --> 01:31:49,232
Evan, what's wrong with you?
1837
01:31:49,234 --> 01:31:50,757
This is Ryan.
1838
01:31:52,014 --> 01:31:53,327
She needs our help.
1839
01:32:17,725 --> 01:32:19,975
(JIGGLING)
1840
01:32:25,694 --> 01:32:27,651
Oh, I gotta get this off.
1841
01:32:34,192 --> 01:32:35,275
Get this off.
1842
01:32:36,683 --> 01:32:41,023
Oh, my baby.
1843
01:32:41,025 --> 01:32:41,858
Thank you.
1844
01:32:47,129 --> 01:32:48,111
Bridget.
1845
01:32:48,113 --> 01:32:48,946
What?
1846
01:32:52,984 --> 01:32:54,172
Ryan?
1847
01:32:54,174 --> 01:32:55,501
Stay away!
1848
01:32:55,503 --> 01:32:57,201
If you come any closer, I'll jump.
1849
01:32:57,203 --> 01:32:59,241
Oh, for the love of.
1850
01:32:59,243 --> 01:33:01,171
Ryan, sweetheart,
1851
01:33:01,173 --> 01:33:02,611
we've all been there.
1852
01:33:02,613 --> 01:33:04,681
Remember that time I
crashed my dad's Delorean
1853
01:33:04,683 --> 01:33:06,851
and decided to drink myself to death?
1854
01:33:06,853 --> 01:33:09,403
You stayed up all night
with me feeding me edamame.
1855
01:33:11,033 --> 01:33:12,524
We're gonna call the police
if you don't stop this.
1856
01:33:12,526 --> 01:33:14,431
I'll throw myself over the railing
1857
01:33:14,433 --> 01:33:15,761
before you even get to the phone.
1858
01:33:15,763 --> 01:33:17,806
Maybe threatening her
wasn't the best idea.
1859
01:33:18,709 --> 01:33:20,648
(DOORKNOB JIGGLING)
1860
01:33:20,650 --> 01:33:22,193
What the fuck is it now?
1861
01:33:22,195 --> 01:33:23,612
Oh, Jesus Christ.
1862
01:33:28,693 --> 01:33:31,031
You invite Dov to
Ryan's nervous breakdown?
1863
01:33:31,033 --> 01:33:31,864
BRIDGET: I called everyone.
1864
01:33:31,866 --> 01:33:33,186
It's a real party.
1865
01:33:38,373 --> 01:33:39,981
How is she?
1866
01:33:39,983 --> 01:33:42,541
Ryan, you're scaring us.
1867
01:33:42,543 --> 01:33:44,141
Leave me alone.
1868
01:33:44,143 --> 01:33:46,241
Honey, look,
1869
01:33:46,243 --> 01:33:48,921
at that distance, with your
weight at that velocity,
1870
01:33:48,923 --> 01:33:52,131
you'd be more likely to
break your legs than die.
1871
01:33:52,133 --> 01:33:53,171
EVAN: Keep talking to her like that
1872
01:33:53,173 --> 01:33:55,341
and she'll definitely
decide to kill herself.
1873
01:33:55,343 --> 01:33:56,565
Honey, why don't you let us just,
1874
01:33:56,567 --> 01:33:59,540
you look so tired, we'll come
up there and talk to you.
1875
01:34:00,999 --> 01:34:02,281
I heard you wrote a book.
1876
01:34:02,283 --> 01:34:03,116
Yeah.
1877
01:34:04,383 --> 01:34:05,216
Wanna read it?
1878
01:34:14,562 --> 01:34:16,111
Evan, don't mess around!
1879
01:34:16,113 --> 01:34:17,521
Evan, stop it, that's priceless.
1880
01:34:17,523 --> 01:34:18,751
I mean, invaluable.
1881
01:34:18,753 --> 01:34:21,131
Me or the sword?
1882
01:34:21,133 --> 01:34:23,900
Fuck, it's turning into Hamlet in here.
1883
01:34:23,902 --> 01:34:28,902
I hope they all die in the end.
1884
01:34:29,593 --> 01:34:31,581
You stole the thing I love most.
1885
01:34:31,583 --> 01:34:33,321
Maybe if you hadn't
treated her like a thing,
1886
01:34:33,323 --> 01:34:34,773
I wouldn't have been able to.
1887
01:34:35,723 --> 01:34:37,941
Evan, you can do tens
of thousands of dollars
1888
01:34:37,943 --> 01:34:39,341
worth of damage to that sword.
1889
01:34:39,343 --> 01:34:40,958
Okay, she's worried about the sword.
1890
01:34:40,960 --> 01:34:43,091
I'm not concerned with
consequences anymore.
1891
01:34:43,093 --> 01:34:44,801
Thanks to your little pep talk.
1892
01:34:44,803 --> 01:34:46,103
What did you say to her?
1893
01:34:47,633 --> 01:34:50,951
Maybe I told her I
was leaving her for good
1894
01:34:50,953 --> 01:34:52,741
and then maybe I hit her?
1895
01:34:52,743 --> 01:34:53,921
Okay, okay.
1896
01:34:53,923 --> 01:34:55,650
She's armed like a knife
and pushed to the brink
1897
01:34:55,652 --> 01:34:57,420
and I fucked her girlfriend.
1898
01:34:57,422 --> 01:34:59,245
Any last words, Dov Dolenz?
1899
01:35:01,672 --> 01:35:02,505
I love her.
1900
01:35:08,197 --> 01:35:09,114
I love her.
1901
01:35:10,612 --> 01:35:11,445
I love her.
1902
01:35:13,765 --> 01:35:15,576
(GASPING)
1903
01:35:15,578 --> 01:35:17,535
There is no peace in the Middle East.
1904
01:35:17,537 --> 01:35:19,820
This could technically be
construed as a hate crime.
1905
01:35:19,822 --> 01:35:22,516
This is an act of war!
1906
01:35:22,518 --> 01:35:24,685
(YELLING)
1907
01:35:30,531 --> 01:35:32,560
(GASPING)
1908
01:35:32,562 --> 01:35:34,310
I think you may have anger issues.
1909
01:35:34,312 --> 01:35:36,200
You don't need to worry about anything.
1910
01:35:36,202 --> 01:35:37,772
Not where you're going.
1911
01:35:37,774 --> 01:35:39,540
(YELPING)
1912
01:35:39,542 --> 01:35:42,362
(SCREAMING)
1913
01:35:42,364 --> 01:35:44,781
(WHIMPERING)
1914
01:35:48,418 --> 01:35:50,408
Fuck!
1915
01:35:50,410 --> 01:35:51,639
Fuck!
1916
01:35:51,641 --> 01:35:54,666
(EVAN GASPING)
1917
01:35:54,668 --> 01:35:56,990
(SCREAMING)
1918
01:35:56,992 --> 01:35:59,159
(GASPING)
1919
01:36:03,582 --> 01:36:05,672
Oh my God! Oh my God!
Oh my God! Oh my God!
1920
01:36:05,674 --> 01:36:07,294
Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
1921
01:36:07,296 --> 01:36:08,129
Oh my God!
1922
01:36:24,626 --> 01:36:25,910
Just...
1923
01:36:25,912 --> 01:36:27,114
Just let me have a look at it.
1924
01:36:27,116 --> 01:36:28,430
No!
1925
01:36:28,432 --> 01:36:31,895
None of you bitches touches me!
1926
01:36:34,600 --> 01:36:35,433
Evan?
1927
01:36:37,372 --> 01:36:38,770
Are you okay?
1928
01:36:38,772 --> 01:36:39,603
Me?
1929
01:36:39,605 --> 01:36:41,185
I'm fit as fucking fiddle.
1930
01:36:42,522 --> 01:36:43,800
BRIDGET: You have a knife in your back.
1931
01:36:43,802 --> 01:36:45,065
Yeah, I gathered.
1932
01:36:48,932 --> 01:36:50,460
Dov, call an ambulance.
1933
01:36:50,462 --> 01:36:52,010
Where's the phone?
1934
01:36:52,012 --> 01:36:53,275
Should we pull it out?
1935
01:36:53,277 --> 01:36:54,110
No!
1936
01:36:58,703 --> 01:37:01,620
BRIDGET: What have I done, Evan?
1937
01:37:09,721 --> 01:37:10,664
Oh, shit.
1938
01:37:14,591 --> 01:37:17,341
(BRIDGET CRYING)
1939
01:37:20,235 --> 01:37:22,652
(WHIMPERING)
1940
01:37:26,404 --> 01:37:28,654
(GROANING)
1941
01:37:47,751 --> 01:37:49,349
That's better.
1942
01:37:49,351 --> 01:37:50,289
What's wrong?
1943
01:37:50,291 --> 01:37:52,539
Did you run out of money?
1944
01:37:52,541 --> 01:37:53,374
We can help you.
1945
01:37:54,420 --> 01:37:56,069
It's not that.
1946
01:37:56,071 --> 01:37:57,034
It's my dad.
1947
01:37:58,511 --> 01:37:59,342
Did he die?
1948
01:37:59,344 --> 01:38:00,175
I'm so sorry.
1949
01:38:00,177 --> 01:38:01,884
No, that fucker's alive and well.
1950
01:38:02,941 --> 01:38:04,191
He was never really sick.
1951
01:38:05,251 --> 01:38:06,784
I made the whole thing up.
1952
01:38:08,211 --> 01:38:09,411
Why would you do that?
1953
01:38:10,333 --> 01:38:12,174
He cut me out of his life.
1954
01:38:13,251 --> 01:38:15,219
Not just financially.
1955
01:38:15,221 --> 01:38:16,054
Completely.
1956
01:38:19,101 --> 01:38:19,934
What happened?
1957
01:38:20,921 --> 01:38:23,059
His daughter is a lesbian.
1958
01:38:23,061 --> 01:38:26,714
I fuck women and that is
enough to make him hate me.
1959
01:38:27,721 --> 01:38:28,964
He disposed of me.
1960
01:38:31,611 --> 01:38:32,444
He's not dead.
1961
01:38:33,441 --> 01:38:34,641
I'm the one that's dead.
1962
01:38:35,491 --> 01:38:37,089
Dead to him.
1963
01:38:37,091 --> 01:38:39,105
Honey, you could've told us.
1964
01:38:39,107 --> 01:38:40,307
I was too embarrassed.
1965
01:38:42,461 --> 01:38:43,611
So I said he was dying.
1966
01:38:45,251 --> 01:38:46,544
It seemed easier.
1967
01:38:48,921 --> 01:38:51,631
I was just so ashamed
1968
01:38:53,471 --> 01:38:56,458
and now I'm angry at myself
1969
01:38:56,460 --> 01:38:59,203
for feeling ashamed.
1970
01:39:00,840 --> 01:39:01,690
It should be him.
1971
01:39:04,070 --> 01:39:06,088
He should be the one who hates himself.
1972
01:39:06,090 --> 01:39:06,921
Not me.
1973
01:39:06,923 --> 01:39:07,756
You know,
1974
01:39:09,070 --> 01:39:10,668
when we're growing up,
1975
01:39:10,670 --> 01:39:11,808
when we're kids,
1976
01:39:11,810 --> 01:39:13,758
we know there's something
different about us.
1977
01:39:13,760 --> 01:39:16,633
Yeah, I knew I liked
girls from the age of five.
1978
01:39:17,483 --> 01:39:18,748
I've always been ahead of the curve.
1979
01:39:18,750 --> 01:39:19,948
When we know there's something different
1980
01:39:19,950 --> 01:39:21,728
and we can't put words to it.
1981
01:39:21,730 --> 01:39:23,853
That turns into self-loathing.
1982
01:39:25,550 --> 01:39:26,798
Then we get a little older
1983
01:39:26,800 --> 01:39:29,108
and we realize that society doesn't accept
1984
01:39:29,110 --> 01:39:30,868
the parts of us that make us different
1985
01:39:30,870 --> 01:39:34,823
and that self-loathing turns in to shame.
1986
01:39:36,510 --> 01:39:37,768
I'm stronger than that.
1987
01:39:37,770 --> 01:39:38,928
I know you are.
1988
01:39:38,930 --> 01:39:40,428
You're a tough cookie but
1989
01:39:40,430 --> 01:39:43,188
you can't fix what your
family and society did to you.
1990
01:39:43,190 --> 01:39:45,183
You can't un-fuck up a kid.
1991
01:39:47,470 --> 01:39:50,437
I'm not getting five
thousand a month anymore.
1992
01:39:50,439 --> 01:39:52,568
I had some money saved up.
1993
01:39:52,570 --> 01:39:54,963
I spent it all.
1994
01:39:55,880 --> 01:39:58,503
I just wanted the hurt to go away.
1995
01:40:00,590 --> 01:40:01,493
Who does that?
1996
01:40:02,430 --> 01:40:04,668
What kind of man turns
his back on his daughter
1997
01:40:04,670 --> 01:40:05,888
just because she's gay?
1998
01:40:05,890 --> 01:40:07,768
You don't need him.
1999
01:40:07,770 --> 01:40:10,498
Okay, you have me and those
three losers downstairs
2000
01:40:10,500 --> 01:40:12,998
who would do anything for you.
2001
01:40:13,000 --> 01:40:16,328
Ryan, the four of us would die for you.
2002
01:40:16,330 --> 01:40:18,668
Fuck your dad, he's not your dad.
2003
01:40:18,670 --> 01:40:19,838
Evan's your dad.
2004
01:40:19,840 --> 01:40:23,528
And us, we're the rest
of your fucked up family.
2005
01:40:23,530 --> 01:40:26,263
I'm just so confused.
2006
01:40:27,730 --> 01:40:29,113
Everything hurts.
2007
01:40:30,610 --> 01:40:31,443
I'm so
2008
01:40:33,070 --> 01:40:33,903
totally
2009
01:40:35,040 --> 01:40:35,873
lost.
2010
01:40:36,750 --> 01:40:38,158
Well,
2011
01:40:38,160 --> 01:40:39,258
with those words,
2012
01:40:39,260 --> 01:40:42,158
I officially pronounce you
2013
01:40:42,160 --> 01:40:43,203
a grownup.
2014
01:40:48,170 --> 01:40:50,588
Did you know I always
wanted to make you coffee?
2015
01:40:50,590 --> 01:40:52,190
The way you do it with the foam.
2016
01:40:53,170 --> 01:40:54,977
I was gonna surprise you
once, you were at the museum,
2017
01:40:54,979 --> 01:40:57,477
you were gonna come home and find it.
2018
01:40:57,479 --> 01:40:59,202
I tried but I failed.
2019
01:41:00,211 --> 01:41:02,525
I threw it all out and never told you.
2020
01:41:02,527 --> 01:41:03,952
I called an ambulance.
2021
01:41:06,857 --> 01:41:08,197
Oh, shit.
2022
01:41:08,199 --> 01:41:10,399
I don't like doing
things I'm not good at.
2023
01:41:12,668 --> 01:41:14,017
Evan,
2024
01:41:14,019 --> 01:41:17,382
this is for the pain.
2025
01:41:22,348 --> 01:41:23,496
Okay.
2026
01:41:23,498 --> 01:41:26,907
Fuck, this jacket is vintage.
2027
01:41:26,909 --> 01:41:28,807
TRISTA: What the fuck happened here?
2028
01:41:28,809 --> 01:41:30,647
EVAN: Bridget stabbed me in the back.
2029
01:41:30,649 --> 01:41:31,987
I know, sweetie.
2030
01:41:31,989 --> 01:41:34,162
No, this time,
2031
01:41:35,269 --> 01:41:36,777
I really did stab her.
2032
01:41:36,779 --> 01:41:38,757
(LAUGHING)
2033
01:41:38,759 --> 01:41:39,590
Jesus.
2034
01:41:39,592 --> 01:41:41,107
Dov called an ambulance.
2035
01:41:41,109 --> 01:41:42,539
It should be here soon.
2036
01:41:44,029 --> 01:41:46,037
So, Ryan tries to commit suicide
2037
01:41:46,039 --> 01:41:47,677
and you three bitches find a way
2038
01:41:47,679 --> 01:41:49,322
to make it all about yourselves.
2039
01:41:50,437 --> 01:41:52,964
Is that one of
Bridget's ancient daggers?
2040
01:41:52,966 --> 01:41:54,237
I believe so.
2041
01:41:54,239 --> 01:41:56,447
If that thing is 500 years old,
2042
01:41:56,449 --> 01:41:59,687
you're gonna have one
hell of an infection.
2043
01:41:59,689 --> 01:42:01,452
Do not forget your dying king.
2044
01:42:02,429 --> 01:42:03,557
Is she gonna die?
2045
01:42:03,559 --> 01:42:06,159
No, baby, but I'm about
to pass out from the pain.
2046
01:42:07,229 --> 01:42:08,682
Goodnight, sweet prince.
2047
01:42:10,155 --> 01:42:13,262
May flights of angels
sing thee to thy rest.
2048
01:42:14,239 --> 01:42:17,165
So what have I learned
after all this time?
2049
01:42:17,167 --> 01:42:19,917
After all the fucking and partying.
2050
01:42:19,919 --> 01:42:22,669
Lying to friends, lovers, myself.
2051
01:42:22,671 --> 01:42:26,066
Playing this sick game in this sick world,
2052
01:42:26,068 --> 01:42:29,812
filled with liars and cheaters
and depraved miscreants.
2053
01:42:32,069 --> 01:42:34,117
I'll tell you what I've learned.
2054
01:42:34,119 --> 01:42:36,789
One thing, and one thing only...
2055
01:42:38,189 --> 01:42:41,372
I fucking love being gay!
2056
01:42:44,239 --> 01:42:47,067
Hey, Evan, are you still there?
2057
01:42:47,069 --> 01:42:48,547
Yeah.
2058
01:42:48,549 --> 01:42:50,625
I thought you were about
to pass out right then.
2059
01:42:50,627 --> 01:42:52,822
Yeah, that would've been
the perfect place to do it.
2060
01:42:52,824 --> 01:42:55,681
Yeah, yeah, right at
the end of that speech.
2061
01:42:56,539 --> 01:42:58,156
(GROANING)
2062
01:42:58,158 --> 01:42:59,601
TRISTA: Now she's passed out.
2063
01:43:00,618 --> 01:43:02,061
It's true what they say.
2064
01:43:02,958 --> 01:43:05,451
Timing really is everything.
2065
01:43:06,548 --> 01:43:08,081
Oh, the ambulance is here.
2066
01:43:09,358 --> 01:43:11,116
Yay.
2067
01:43:11,118 --> 01:43:12,021
Evan won't die.
2068
01:43:13,818 --> 01:43:16,376
Can I ride with her to the hospital?
2069
01:43:16,378 --> 01:43:18,711
I should probably get my stomach pumped.
2070
01:43:19,978 --> 01:43:20,917
Can I take out the knife now?
2071
01:43:20,919 --> 01:43:21,836
ALL: No!
2072
01:43:29,368 --> 01:43:30,526
BRIDGET: Where's your coffee machine?
2073
01:43:30,528 --> 01:43:33,261
Does anyone want some coffee?
2074
01:43:47,864 --> 01:43:49,256
Bye, losers.
2075
01:43:49,258 --> 01:43:50,461
Good to see you.
2076
01:43:54,804 --> 01:43:58,166
(FAINT BEAT MUSIC)
2077
01:43:58,168 --> 01:43:59,936
How's the shoulder?
2078
01:43:59,938 --> 01:44:00,896
Still sore?
2079
01:44:00,898 --> 01:44:02,366
Nothing that copious amounts of alcohol
2080
01:44:02,368 --> 01:44:03,518
and Vicodin can't cure.
2081
01:44:05,608 --> 01:44:06,441
Same old Evan.
2082
01:44:07,856 --> 01:44:09,351
I quit my father's campaign.
2083
01:44:11,758 --> 01:44:13,258
When were you gonna tell me?
2084
01:44:14,128 --> 01:44:16,978
When I finally mustered
the ability to say
2085
01:44:19,138 --> 01:44:20,031
you were right.
2086
01:44:23,118 --> 01:44:23,949
You remember when I told you
2087
01:44:23,951 --> 01:44:27,003
about not liking not being good at things
2088
01:44:27,005 --> 01:44:28,655
like making coffee and saying I'm sorry?
2089
01:44:31,781 --> 01:44:35,864
But as for the coffee, I
came up with a solution.
2090
01:44:37,388 --> 01:44:39,008
Instant coffee.
2091
01:44:39,010 --> 01:44:42,093
(MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC)
2092
01:44:52,332 --> 01:44:53,165
Bridget,
2093
01:44:57,018 --> 01:44:57,851
I'm sorry.
2094
01:45:13,608 --> 01:45:14,441
Evan,
2095
01:45:18,410 --> 01:45:19,743
this is oatmeal.
2096
01:45:21,730 --> 01:45:22,563
What?
2097
01:45:23,684 --> 01:45:25,381
(GIGGLING)
2098
01:45:25,383 --> 01:45:27,230
You made me oatmeal.
2099
01:45:28,223 --> 01:45:30,124
This is instant oatmeal.
2100
01:45:30,126 --> 01:45:32,376
(LAUGHING)
2101
01:45:48,458 --> 01:45:50,875
I'll never stop loving you.
2102
01:45:53,375 --> 01:45:54,208
Ditto.
2103
01:45:59,237 --> 01:46:02,920
Things are looking up for me.
2104
01:46:04,357 --> 01:46:07,257
I got promoted from writing
engagement announcements
2105
01:46:08,138 --> 01:46:09,238
to writing obituaries.
2106
01:46:10,267 --> 01:46:12,105
That's super.
2107
01:46:12,107 --> 01:46:13,865
That's like the best news ever.
2108
01:46:13,867 --> 01:46:14,700
So great.
2109
01:46:16,837 --> 01:46:20,085
So, tell me more about
the newspaper, please.
2110
01:46:20,087 --> 01:46:21,137
Where's Trista?
2111
01:46:21,139 --> 01:46:23,735
BRIDGET: Dov, come over here.
2112
01:46:23,737 --> 01:46:26,145
Oh my God, this conversation has to end.
2113
01:46:26,147 --> 01:46:28,251
So much suck.
2114
01:46:28,253 --> 01:46:31,336
(MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC)
2115
01:46:34,887 --> 01:46:36,665
So, I couldn't help but notice
2116
01:46:36,667 --> 01:46:39,820
you to have been avoiding
each other all night.
2117
01:46:41,577 --> 01:46:42,772
My parents pulled the same act for years.
2118
01:46:42,774 --> 01:46:46,305
You're taking a position
at a museum in Romania.
2119
01:46:46,307 --> 01:46:47,803
Seems like you're the
one going to extremes
2120
01:46:47,805 --> 01:46:49,305
to avoid conflict.
2121
01:46:51,752 --> 01:46:52,585
True.
2122
01:46:54,486 --> 01:46:56,579
But I am confused.
2123
01:46:57,896 --> 01:46:58,979
I love you both.
2124
01:47:03,377 --> 01:47:04,727
But I need time for myself.
2125
01:47:06,836 --> 01:47:07,669
Cliche?
2126
01:47:09,290 --> 01:47:10,123
A little.
2127
01:47:15,186 --> 01:47:16,708
So,
2128
01:47:16,710 --> 01:47:17,543
friends?
2129
01:47:18,984 --> 01:47:19,817
Eh.
2130
01:47:20,810 --> 01:47:21,791
DOV: Okay.
2131
01:47:21,793 --> 01:47:22,624
Fine.
2132
01:47:22,626 --> 01:47:24,209
TRISTA: Bridget?
2133
01:47:29,688 --> 01:47:30,771
Crazy fuck!
2134
01:47:31,799 --> 01:47:33,709
Republican bitch!
2135
01:47:33,711 --> 01:47:35,809
Jesus Christ.
2136
01:47:42,116 --> 01:47:43,554
Well, fags, I'd stay
2137
01:47:43,556 --> 01:47:46,493
but I'm afraid you'd
as me to help clean up.
2138
01:47:46,495 --> 01:47:47,434
I'll miss you, kid.
2139
01:47:47,436 --> 01:47:48,804
No you won't.
2140
01:47:48,806 --> 01:47:51,449
I'll miss the excessive
drama you bring to my life.
2141
01:47:54,226 --> 01:47:56,194
Next week, Hanukkah party, my place.
2142
01:47:56,196 --> 01:47:58,504
I'm gonna bust out the Bong Mitzvah.
2143
01:47:58,506 --> 01:47:59,403
Goodnight, homos.
2144
01:48:02,476 --> 01:48:04,744
I should probably be going too.
2145
01:48:04,746 --> 01:48:07,204
Early flight, long flight.
2146
01:48:07,206 --> 01:48:08,114
You coming, Ry?
2147
01:48:08,116 --> 01:48:09,504
I wish I was coming?
2148
01:48:09,506 --> 01:48:10,744
Get it?
2149
01:48:10,746 --> 01:48:12,024
No?
2150
01:48:12,026 --> 01:48:13,654
No, I'm gonna stay up.
2151
01:48:13,656 --> 01:48:14,706
I'll take her back.
2152
01:48:15,676 --> 01:48:16,507
Okay, well,
2153
01:48:16,509 --> 01:48:20,079
I am going to go Benadryl myself to sleep.
2154
01:48:21,396 --> 01:48:22,254
See you in the morning.
2155
01:48:22,256 --> 01:48:23,306
- Bye, babe.
- Yeah.
2156
01:48:24,396 --> 01:48:27,704
- I'll walk you out.
- I'll walk you out.
2157
01:48:27,706 --> 01:48:29,056
You did try to behead me.
2158
01:48:33,826 --> 01:48:36,114
I'll see you in half a year.
2159
01:48:36,116 --> 01:48:38,299
Just try to stay out of trouble.
2160
01:48:39,155 --> 01:48:44,155
What's the fun in that?
2161
01:49:13,319 --> 01:49:15,693
I know you have something to say.
2162
01:49:15,695 --> 01:49:16,708
Cheeky monkey.
2163
01:49:21,518 --> 01:49:24,185
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!
2164
01:49:32,135 --> 01:49:34,773
So not to sound arrogant
or anything, you know,
2165
01:49:34,775 --> 01:49:37,788
but I am gonna be gone for six months.
2166
01:49:39,225 --> 01:49:40,308
What I'm saying is,
2167
01:49:41,475 --> 01:49:42,808
if you meet someone.
2168
01:49:44,655 --> 01:49:45,842
No, I get it.
2169
01:49:48,545 --> 01:49:49,738
I packed your poem.
2170
01:49:50,735 --> 01:49:51,685
It's in my carryon.
2171
01:49:55,282 --> 01:49:57,252
"Ice-kissed frost fire."
2172
01:50:00,675 --> 01:50:02,065
I wish I could be like you
2173
01:50:03,547 --> 01:50:05,348
and have the right words.
2174
01:50:09,920 --> 01:50:13,015
I wish I had the right words right now.
2175
01:50:52,190 --> 01:50:55,022
(ENGINE RUMBLING)
2176
01:51:02,510 --> 01:51:04,760
(GROANING)
2177
01:51:06,280 --> 01:51:07,589
(SIGHING)
2178
01:51:07,591 --> 01:51:09,662
So I have this friend
2179
01:51:09,664 --> 01:51:12,424
and she really liked her
best friend's girlfriend
2180
01:51:13,264 --> 01:51:15,152
and she thought she'd be a much better fit
2181
01:51:15,154 --> 01:51:17,922
for her friend's girlfriends
2182
01:51:17,924 --> 01:51:19,564
than her friend
2183
01:51:20,414 --> 01:51:23,262
and so she set into motion
2184
01:51:23,264 --> 01:51:27,714
a series of events that would
lead to them breaking up
2185
01:51:29,089 --> 01:51:32,412
and it took a really long time
2186
01:51:32,414 --> 01:51:37,122
and a lot of really manipulative behavior
2187
01:51:37,124 --> 01:51:39,707
but eventually this girl's plan worked.
2188
01:51:40,824 --> 01:51:42,002
What happened?
2189
01:51:42,004 --> 01:51:42,918
What do you mean?
2190
01:51:42,920 --> 01:51:44,002
What happened?
2191
01:51:44,004 --> 01:51:45,142
What do you mean?
2192
01:51:45,144 --> 01:51:48,162
Did your friend end up with
her best friend's girlfriend?
2193
01:51:48,164 --> 01:51:49,452
I don't know.
2194
01:51:49,454 --> 01:51:51,227
That remains to be seen.
2195
01:51:53,184 --> 01:51:54,017
So,
2196
01:51:55,944 --> 01:51:58,202
what do you think of all that?
2197
01:51:58,204 --> 01:52:00,867
Do you think my friend is a bad person?
2198
01:52:23,824 --> 01:52:24,657
What?
2199
01:52:26,184 --> 01:52:27,533
Survival of the fittest, right?
2200
01:52:27,535 --> 01:52:29,402
(LAUGHING)
2201
01:52:29,404 --> 01:52:31,062
Yeah.
2202
01:52:31,064 --> 01:52:31,897
Totally.
2203
01:53:20,138 --> 01:53:22,305
(SIGHING)
2204
01:53:26,833 --> 01:53:29,011
Is there someplace you'd rather be?
2205
01:53:29,013 --> 01:53:30,063
Than here with you?
2206
01:53:31,483 --> 01:53:32,316
Never.
2207
01:53:48,352 --> 01:53:50,019
Why'd you do that?
2208
01:53:51,059 --> 01:53:54,288
Because I knew you wouldn't.
2209
01:53:54,290 --> 01:53:56,486
I imagine you want to
get back at your father.
2210
01:53:58,423 --> 01:54:00,596
I would excel in that capacity.
2211
01:54:19,756 --> 01:54:23,089
(UPBEAT NEW WAVE MUSIC)
2212
01:54:25,822 --> 01:54:28,072
(KNOCKING)
2213
01:54:45,144 --> 01:54:46,641
Do you love me?
2214
01:54:46,643 --> 01:54:49,906
I know you'll say yes and I'll
take you at your word but I...
2215
01:54:49,908 --> 01:54:51,816
With every beat of my wasted heart.
2216
01:54:53,215 --> 01:54:56,104
I see it now, it's true.
2217
01:54:56,106 --> 01:54:56,939
Yes.
2218
01:54:58,928 --> 01:55:03,230
♪ Our bodies intertwined ♪
2219
01:55:03,232 --> 01:55:05,925
♪ You're doing that thing you do ♪
2220
01:55:05,927 --> 01:55:09,769
♪ Something's on your mind ♪
2221
01:55:09,771 --> 01:55:12,975
♪ Restlessness and worries for ♪
2222
01:55:12,977 --> 01:55:16,410
♪ A future that's unknown ♪
2223
01:55:16,412 --> 01:55:19,922
♪ But I traveled through
both space and time ♪
2224
01:55:19,924 --> 01:55:24,924
♪ To make sure you will never be alone ♪
2225
01:55:27,293 --> 01:55:32,293
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2226
01:55:34,470 --> 01:55:39,470
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
2227
01:55:41,509 --> 01:55:46,509
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
2228
01:55:48,448 --> 01:55:53,427
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
2229
01:55:53,429 --> 01:55:55,736
♪ We head into the night ♪
2230
01:55:55,738 --> 01:55:59,887
♪ And fade into the streets ♪
2231
01:55:59,889 --> 01:56:02,785
♪ As rain on the city falls ♪
2232
01:56:02,787 --> 01:56:06,618
♪ The taste is bitter sweet ♪
2233
01:56:06,620 --> 01:56:09,863
♪ Restlessness and worries for ♪
2234
01:56:09,865 --> 01:56:13,320
♪ A future far away ♪
2235
01:56:13,322 --> 01:56:16,957
♪ I'm traveling to the unknown ♪
2236
01:56:16,959 --> 01:56:21,959
♪ To make sure you will see another day ♪
2237
01:56:24,083 --> 01:56:29,083
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2238
01:56:31,297 --> 01:56:36,297
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
2239
01:56:38,376 --> 01:56:43,376
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
2240
01:56:45,666 --> 01:56:50,358
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
2241
01:56:50,360 --> 01:56:53,292
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2242
01:56:53,294 --> 01:56:57,548
♪ Through complication ♪
2243
01:56:57,550 --> 01:57:00,386
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2244
01:57:00,388 --> 01:57:04,672
♪ Through the unknown ♪
2245
01:57:04,674 --> 01:57:07,480
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2246
01:57:07,482 --> 01:57:11,026
♪ Determination ♪
2247
01:57:11,028 --> 01:57:14,407
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2248
01:57:14,409 --> 01:57:19,409
♪ I'll make sure you'll never be alone ♪
2249
01:57:21,141 --> 01:57:26,141
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2250
01:57:28,235 --> 01:57:33,235
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
2251
01:57:35,449 --> 01:57:40,449
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
2252
01:57:42,497 --> 01:57:47,053
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
2253
01:57:47,055 --> 01:57:49,589
(GIGGLING)
2254
01:57:49,591 --> 01:57:54,585
♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪
2255
01:57:54,587 --> 01:57:56,804
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2256
01:57:56,806 --> 01:58:01,573
♪ I would brave a thousand years ♪
2257
01:58:01,575 --> 01:58:03,792
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2258
01:58:03,794 --> 01:58:07,950
♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪
2259
01:58:07,952 --> 01:58:10,953
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2260
01:58:10,955 --> 01:58:15,955
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2261
01:58:51,152 --> 01:58:54,484
(SOMBER NEW WAVE MUSIC)
2262
01:59:11,049 --> 01:59:13,716
I'm laughing already, I can't.
2263
01:59:14,957 --> 01:59:16,768
(LAUGHING)
2264
01:59:16,770 --> 01:59:18,377
Turn around, Mike!
2265
01:59:18,379 --> 01:59:20,293
(LAUGHING)
2266
01:59:20,295 --> 01:59:22,176
I think but I can see.
2267
01:59:22,178 --> 01:59:25,508
WOMAN: It looks like you're just crazy.
2268
01:59:25,510 --> 01:59:27,078
Sweet prince
2269
01:59:27,080 --> 01:59:28,438
and flights of angels.
2270
01:59:28,440 --> 01:59:30,690
(LAUGHING)
2271
01:59:31,730 --> 01:59:33,333
WOMAN: Welcome to Girl-Girl Scene.
2272
01:59:34,780 --> 01:59:36,906
I just want to make
sure I'm holding it right.
2273
01:59:36,908 --> 01:59:39,158
(LAUGHING)
2274
01:59:41,035 --> 01:59:43,285
(COUGHING)
2275
01:59:44,150 --> 01:59:46,238
- You're up late.
- Thanks.
2276
01:59:46,240 --> 01:59:48,288
TRISTA: My mom's freaking
out about the body slam.
2277
01:59:48,290 --> 01:59:49,640
I know we're being careful.
2278
01:59:52,299 --> 01:59:55,937
♪ There's one thing ♪
2279
01:59:55,939 --> 02:00:00,292
♪ That makes me come alive
when you're by my side ♪
2280
02:00:00,294 --> 02:00:01,127
Fuck!
2281
02:00:03,614 --> 02:00:08,614
♪ Together with me ♪
2282
02:00:09,821 --> 02:00:11,518
♪ We don't sleep ♪
2283
02:00:11,520 --> 02:00:13,408
♪ I want you to smile ♪
2284
02:00:13,410 --> 02:00:14,826
♪ Shut out all the worries ♪
2285
02:00:14,828 --> 02:00:17,060
♪ Keep away for awhile ♪
2286
02:00:17,062 --> 02:00:19,771
♪ The look you have ♪
2287
02:00:19,773 --> 02:00:22,194
As long as you literally
don't see my ass.
2288
02:00:22,196 --> 02:00:23,143
My ass is out.
2289
02:00:26,858 --> 02:00:28,720
♪ Make me feel like I'm whole ♪
2290
02:00:28,722 --> 02:00:32,488
♪ Take me back again to
see the look at that crow ♪
2291
02:00:32,490 --> 02:00:34,554
♪ The power of love ♪
2292
02:00:34,556 --> 02:00:36,000
♪ Is the back on the screen ♪
2293
02:00:36,002 --> 02:00:38,235
♪ I will have ♪
2294
02:00:38,237 --> 02:00:42,070
♪ 85 again ♪
2295
02:00:45,938 --> 02:00:46,769
(MAN LAUGHING)
2296
02:00:46,771 --> 02:00:47,602
EVAN: What? Let me see.
2297
02:00:47,604 --> 02:00:49,149
MAN: I was just filming Jerry.
2298
02:00:49,151 --> 02:00:51,401
(MUMBLING)
2299
02:00:52,994 --> 02:00:55,262
We got the tools and we got the knowhow.
2300
02:00:56,199 --> 02:00:58,247
MAN: Okay, what was the next scene?
2301
02:00:58,249 --> 02:00:59,457
BRIDGET: Bedroom.
2302
02:00:59,459 --> 02:01:00,290
Me waking up.
2303
02:01:00,292 --> 02:01:01,204
(LAUGHING)
2304
02:01:01,206 --> 02:01:02,657
RYAN: I got it too late.
2305
02:01:02,659 --> 02:01:05,099
Like I couldn't debut it
earlier in a different scene
2306
02:01:05,101 --> 02:01:06,956
but now it's in the movie.
2307
02:01:08,996 --> 02:01:11,246
(LAUGHING)
2308
02:01:13,147 --> 02:01:16,314
(EXCITING BEAT MUSIC)
2309
02:01:42,032 --> 02:01:43,562
♪ Play the movie ♪
2310
02:01:43,564 --> 02:01:45,491
♪ I want you to smile ♪
2311
02:01:45,493 --> 02:01:49,258
♪ Shut out all the worries,
keep away for awhile. ♪
2312
02:01:49,260 --> 02:01:51,085
♪ The look you had ♪
2313
02:01:51,087 --> 02:01:52,337
MAN: Action.
2314
02:01:58,609 --> 02:01:59,702
You're still here?
2315
02:02:01,799 --> 02:02:03,182
It's over.
2316
02:02:05,189 --> 02:02:06,022
Go home?
2317
02:02:12,539 --> 02:02:13,372
Shoo.
2318
02:02:13,374 --> 02:02:14,437
Subtitles by explosiveskull
2318
02:02:15,305 --> 02:02:21,691
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