Original subtitles

[Button Clicks]

[Man On Tape] Les, I'll tape a memo for you on the Bronson matter tomorrow

As far as that Delthorne Corporation suit is concerned, they've got me

As far as I can see, they're holding flrm

They want $300,000, and they want delivery tomorrow night

[Tape Rewinds, Stops]

They've got me

[Sighs]

Oh, Leslie, I thought...

[No Audible Sounds]

[Trunk Lid Slams]

[Footsteps Departing]

[Engine Starts]

[Motor Whirring]

[Body Continues Tumbling]

[Vehicle Approaching]

[Sighs]

Hello, Pat? Leslie

Uh, listen, about our tennis date...

[Laughs] Yeah No, I know I've been very forgetful lately

Uh, Pat, please, call me at the offlce tomorrow at 12:15, sharp

j-Just say "tennis," and I'll remember to put it on my offlce calendar

All right, Pat Good-bye

[Sighs]

[Man] When did you sustain these injuries, Mr Crowell?

This September 16, Friday, 8.30 in the evening

You were admitted to a hospital for emergency care on that night?

Yes, I was StJohn's Hospital, Santa Monica

Your Honor, I'd like to introduce these hospital records as Exhibit "A"

Mr Crowell, what was the extent of your injuries due to your fall?

- My back was hurt real bad... - Objection, Your Honor

The plaintiff is not competent to give expert medical testimony

Sustained

[Man] I would like to introduce Exhibit "B, "

a full doctor's report on the plaintiff's condition

showing damage to the lumbar region of the spine with concomitant nerve damage,

resulting in partial paralysis to the left side ofhis body

Did you flnd out anything? No one's seen or heard from him since he left Phoenix

Did you check the hospitals? I've had Nancy calling all morning Not a thing

What about the police? Zero Shall we...

Let me think about it for a while Objection... irrelevant and immaterial

Sustained The answer may go out

Shall we put out a missing persons report?

I'll do it myself after lunch

How goes it here? We have a nice middle-class jury

They dislike the insurance companies second only to their distaste for working-class people Your witness

[Clears Throat]

- Mr Crowell, you are a punch press operator, is that correct? - Yes

Have you ever been on welfare before?

- Objection - Sustained

That night that you fell down the stairs in the defendant's apartment house,

where had you been prior to your accident?

At a caf� across the street

In point of fact, Mr Crowell, according to the bartender there, you had

at least three drinks and no dinner before you left the caf� and returned to your apartment

And not being able to see the stairwell steps properly, you fell

Objection, Your Honor Counsel is testifying and assuming facts not in evidence

- The plaintiff alleges the stairs were improperly lit - Although the plaintiff may well have been

- Objection, Your Honor - [Laughing]

Sustained

- [Gavel Raps] - Court will be recessed until 1.00

I've convinced my client to discuss a possible settlement I'm sure you have

My offlce, 1 O minutes? Mine, at 12:3O

It looks good Very good

I'll get your insurance company off the hook cheaply this time

I've been all over that building of yours,

and you better start maintaining minimum safety standards, or, the next time, somebody may get killed

Thank you Hi, Mrs Williams Michael

Have you heard anything? There's still no word from Mr Williams I've tried everywhere

Thank you, Nancy Bring in your pad

[Leslie] We'd better outline a settlement He'll be here soon

[Sighs] What time do you have, Michael? 12:15

Uh, Les, they're asking a hundred and flfty thousand

My guess is he'll say his client is ill and needs cash and offer to settle for half

We'll tell him that his client is losing and that he'll take what he can get... which is nuisance value at $1 O, OOO

- That's hitting him pretty hard - [Phone Rings]

I'll get it Yes?

Les? One word: tennis

- Yes - Don't forget

What? Who is this? Hello?

Hello?

- What is it? - You'd better call the police

That man on the phone said he's got my husband

[Man] I want men posted here and here But keep them out of sight

I don't want a lot of worried neighbors calling the police every flve minutes

Mr Carlson

Hoffman, this is Carlson We don't want any press leaks on this

I don't want to have to add up all the favors you owe me,

and I'm sure you don't want me to either

Right

We'll stay out of the papers for the time being, Mrs Williams Thank you

Is that tap-in ready? No Not quite yet, sir

We'll be able to monitor any phone calls that come in through this, Mrs Williams

Will you be able to trace the calls?

Maybe Unfortunately, the kidnapper is usually smart enough to keep the call short so we won't have the time

But with this tape, we can make voiceprints at the lab

That sometimes gives us a lead on making identiflcations

There's something I have to ask you I want you to be completely honest with me Of course

After I pay the ransom, what are the chances of my getting my husband back?

All right, I'll be honest with you, Mrs Williams There's no way of knowing

All we can do is hope for the best

We'll do everything we possibly can Oh, of course you will I know that

Look, Mrs Williams Let's try to take an optimistic point of view on this, hmm?

He's probably just flne You'll have him with you in another 24 hours

That's... That's all I want

[Phone Rings] Excuse me

Carlson Yes, I'll hold

[Doorbell Chimes]

[Sighs]

Uh, Mrs Williams? Yes?

Uh, Lieutenant Columbo, local police

I, uh, seem to have dropped my pen out here somewhere

just a minute

[Sighs] Would you like some help?

Oh, no, that won't be necessary Thank you very much I'll-I'll just take another quick look, uh...

- I can get a flashlight - Oh, really, don't bother It's all right

I, uh... I've got some matches

It's no trouble Oh, really, it's really not that important It's just a pen

You see, it was engraved That was the only reason

But I'll buy another one, and I'll have that one engraved

You see, the pen itself was worthless, uh...

- Is that it? - Where?

- There - Oh

No No?

[Man] Is everything all right, Mrs Williams? Lt Columbo's lost his pen

Oh, listen, don't bother him about it, uh...

Lt Columbo? Oh, yes How do you do? How are you?

Uh, Mrs Williams, I think that, uh, we can forget about the pen now

Would you like me to get you a flashlight? I offered him...

No, really, it's not that important That last call was from the police

They found your husband's car

Was there any sign of violence? None whatsoever

[Leslie] How do you suppose they stopped it?

The car was found near a stop sign

So we assume that when your husband pulled up to the intersection,

- the kidnappers found the opportunity... - Um, Mr Carlson, there's a gentleman here to see you

Oh, Lieutenant Yes, gentlemen, this is Lt Columbo, our local police liaison

- How do you do? - As I was saying, the stop sign suggests that...

Is there something we can do for you, Lieutenant?

Uh, well, I dropped by to tell you that they found the car...

- We already have that information - I can see that

How's the tap-in coming? Not yet

- Feel perfectly free to stay if you like, Lieutenant - Oh, thank you very much

jerry, I'd like you to get a man, check out the houses in the area where the car was found

Somebody may have seen something or heard something last night

Start from Sunset and work your way up

Hammond, be sure to get the lab report on the briefcase and the luggage found in the car

Mr Carlson, do you suppose that the kidnappers followed him all the way from Phoenix?

Well, I doubt that, Mrs Williams

But they must have known when he left Phoenix

Was there a ransom note? That's what makes us think they may have had someone there

checking out the time of departure [Clears Throat]

You see, if that's true, they could notify their confederates there... Sir?

Hmm? Uh, the lieutenant would like to see the ransom note

Oh-Oh, certainly

Do you know exactly what time your husband would have left Phoenix?

I, um... Excuse me May I see the envelope, please?

Oh, surely No, no

[Leslie] I-I-I didn't Neither did anyone in my offlce

Hammond, which police garage would they have taken the car to? Downtown

I'll arrange for our people to run a set of flngerprints

[Carlson] You know, strange thing, Mrs Williams When you look at the route that your husband must have taken,

- the best place would've been here, - What is that, an aerial map?

Mm-hmm in your own neighborhood Oh, I see

The streets are dark, secluded What's it for?

Excuse me Well, it came with the instructions from the kidnappers

Oh, they sent instructions? Oh, yeah

[Columbo] What were they? Well, Mrs Williams is to fly alone, north along this highway

- Once she reaches this point on the map, she takes a heading out across the desert - Exactly

There'll be a flashing light signal right about there, and the money is to be dropped in a bag

The usual warnings... no cops

Right When is the drop?

Well, that we don't know

But like it says, they'll call us tonight

- [Carlson] Now, listen, Miller The victim's car has been picked up by the LAPD - [Muttering]

They've got it in the downtown garage

That's right I want you to run a flngerprint check on it, will ya?

You fly a plane? Yes

By yourself? Yes

No kidding? No kidding

[Carlson] Yeah, they'll probably give you a little static, but [Door Closes]

we're going on the basis that the victim crossed the state line

Excuse me How's it goin'?

Fine Fine Be through in a few minutes Working out of Phoenix as well as here

We'll have to wait till he gets off the phone before we can check it out

- Fascinating - Right Well, you let me know if you have any problems

Right

Can I help you, Lieutenant?

Oh No, just browsing

For anything in particular? No

Because if there's anything you'd like, I'd be only too happy to help

Oh Thank you very much

Uh, Mrs Williams... Yes?

Uh... Uh, men's room?

Oh, the powder room is up those steps, down the hall and flrst door on your right

Have you got that? [Mumbling] Yeah, I got it

First door on your right

- [Hammond] lt'll be ready in a minute, Mr Carlson - Good

One, two, three, four One, two, three, four Perfect

[Exhales] House is cold [Sniffles]

[Sighs] I must say, Mrs Williams, you're bearing up through this very well indeed

Oh

It may seem like it, but if it weren't for you...

Well, that's very kind of you, Mrs Williams, but we just do what we can That's all

You're very modest

Tell me Do you think that you'll flnd any trace of... of flngerprints in the car?

Frankly, I doubt it

Well, it's a very professional, well-planned operation

See, they knew what time your husband was coming from out of town

They know about your flying a plane

No No, I think the only flngerprints we'll flnd will be your husband's

and yours, of course

[Door Opens]

[Clears Throat]

Did you flnd it, Lieutenant?

Oh, yes, very well Thank you Mm-hmm

Listen, I've got to tell ya, Mrs Williams, that, uh, you've got some beautiful place here

You just make yourself at home

Say, you know the soap you have in the bathroom, the ones shaped like little lemons

Yes Well, I was almost afraid to use 'em

But that's what they're there for, Lieutenant, to be used

Well, if you don't mind my asking, when you use one and you put it back in the plate,

how do you keep it from sticking to the others?

- It's a problem - That's what I flgured

Think of that... [Leslie] Do you know what I think?

I think since we're all going to be waiting here, I'm going to flx us all dinner

That won't be necessary, Mrs Williams We can have something sent in

Oh, please, let me do it It will keep me busy [Laughs]

[Chuckles] All right Thank you

- Uh, Mrs Williams... - Yes?

- Don't you have any live-in servants? - Yes

Oh Why, it must be the same problem everywhere

If you want something done, you gotta do it yourself

- How is that, Lieutenant? - Huh? Oh, I was just saying,

you know, you pay a lot of money for help, and you end up doin' the cookin'

Well, you see, my housekeeper's been on vacation for the last week, so...

Oh Oh, I see then So you've been here alone?

Well, if there's, uh, I mean, anything I can do to help...

peel potatoes, whatever... you just feel free

Oh... Oh, you'll-you'll be the flrst to know

[Device Clicking]

[Ringing]

- [Man On Tape] Les? - Mrs Williams

- Hello? - Les?

[Leslie] Paul? They've got me They want $3OO, OOO

- When? - Tomorrow night just follow instructions

Paul? Paul! [Repeatedly Presses On Cradle]

Play it back Make sure we got all of it

- That's the spot - [Sighs] From this point on the highway to here

it's over a hundred and flfty miles of desert

There's no way we can cover it

- Hello? - Les?

Paul? They've got me They want $3OO, OOO

When? Tomorrow night Just follow instructions

- I not going to take any chances with my husband's life! - Well, there's nothing to worry about

We'll arrange to have you followed by a helicopter Give you plenty of room

Oh I know you will I'm sorry

I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound like that

[Carlson] It's quite all right, Mrs Williams We understand how you feel

I think I'll go upstairs I'll be in my room if you want me

That's a good idea We'll be covering the place all night, so you rest easy

[Carlson] All right That's it for tonight, fellas

Let's wrap it up and go home, huh?

I'll get this tape to the lab right away

Good night, sir Good night

Good night Good night Check with you in the morning

All right [Door Opens]

Well, Lieutenant, I guess that's it for tonight [Door Closes]

Lieutenant?

Let's call it a night, huh? Oh

Hey, sorry l... Thinking and...

Unique woman What's that?

Oh, you see, uh... She's an exceptional woman Oh

What do you mean?

Well, when the phone rang, you know, she ran to the phone, she picked up the receiver, and, uh...

She never asked her-her-her... her husband if he was all right

I don't see anything strange about that The woman was frightened She was under stress...

That's right, yes She... She was She was under stress Right

See, I just can't help thinkin' though, but...

If I was in the hands of kidnappers and my wife didn't ask me if I was okay, uh...

I'd think about that

What's your point, Lieutenant? Point? No, no, no No point

just that, uh, she's a unique person

Good night, Lieutenant Yeah, good night Good night [Mumbles]

[Door Opens, Closes]

Now, if you'll just initial here and sign here on all three copies

$3OO, OOO All yours

We got all the serial numbers? Yes, sir

The bank was very cooperative in helping us mark the money

- Well, we certainly appreciate your help - You're welcome

Apart from your savings, trust accounts and municipal bonds,

we naturally were forced to sell all of your stocks at a considerable loss

I'm sorry, but there was no other alternative

I know that, Mr Perkins, but this is no time to worry about money

[Mr Perkins] Of course, Mrs Williams I brought a bag, Mrs Williams

Oh, thank you That won't be necessary I have a bag All right

This should do it If you don't need me any longer... Gentlemen

Thanks again

Mrs Williams We've got a priority clearance on that air corridor marked on the map

You'll be all by yourself What about you?

Well, we'll be holding a position about two miles behind you

You promised to keep your people clear of the area

The highway patrol units all have their instructions

If they spot a car picking up the money, they just make an identiflcation and then let it pass

Chances are they'll get the money and clear out before anyone gets a chance to get near them,

so I wouldn't worry too much, Mrs Williams I'm concerned about my husband's life

Oh, of course If you gentlemen will excuse me, I'll change

[Sighs]

[Engine Idling] [Carlson] All set, Mrs Williams?

I'm ready All right Let's go

[Engine Grows Louder]

You ride in the rear Oh Certainly Certainly

[Propellers Whirring]

You wanna talk, press this button Wanna listen, release it

8-3-5-Romeo, takeoff

[Man] You're clear, 8-3-5-Romeo

[No Audible Dialogue]

[Clattering] What was that?

What was what? I think there's something wrong with the motor

Take it easy, Lieutenant Everything's just flne

- This is 8-3-5-Romeo 3-5-Romeo - We read you, 8-3-5-Romeo

Am approaching northbound freeway and descending to 1,OOO feet

Airspeed at one-flve-oh

We're holding a position on your heading, airspeed one-flve-oh

Right

How much further is it?

[Over Radio] How much further is it?

How much further is it? She'll notify us as she approaches the Palmdale turnoff

- Is that near? - Well, do you see that highway down there to your right?

Yes, I do Well, she'll be heading off across the desert from the next coordinates

Oh, good

This is 3-5-Romeo Approaching coordinates Begin new heading 2O degrees northwest

- We read you - Airspeed at one-flve-oh

This is 33-Foxtrot to all ground units We're approaching the Palmdale turnoff

- Maintain radio silence until visual contact is established - Right

[Button Clicks] [Beeping]

[Beeping Continues]

[Beeping Continues]

[Beeping Continues]

[Beeping Fades]

This is 8-3-5-Romeo 3-5-Romeo

Have established visual contact with light at spot access road by coordinates 28

- We read you - Circling now to make drop

This is 33-Foxtrot to special highway patrol units 12 and 22

Move toward access road near map coordinates 28

Drop completed Over and out

They got it Any sign of them?

No, sir There's a highway only a half mile that way with a lot of heavy trafflc

They must have gotten lost in that before we got here

Well, we knew that going in, didn't we? Mr Carlson?

Wanna look at this?

[Police Radio Chatter]

[Carlson] All right Let's go home

Lieutenant? Lt Columbo!

Let's go!

Hey, Lieutenant Lieutenant, I'll take that

[Doors Closing]

[Engine Starts]

[Door Closes]

[Engine Starts]

[Door Closes]

Are you coming, Lieutenant?

Uh, no Why don't you go ahead? Uh... I'm gonna take a little walk, clear my head

You know what I mean All right

[Engines Start]

[Police Radio Chatter]

[Unlocks]

[Rustling]

[Gasps]

- How is my father? - [Exhales]

What are you doing here?

How is he? Have you heard from him?

No, not yet

But you paid the kidnappers the ransom money

When will they bring him back?

We don't know

I, uh... [Key Clatters]

I wasn't expecting you

After I got your cable, I caught the flrst plane out of Zurich

There was only a 3O-minute layover

You didn't have to come What you mean is, you didn't want me to

What I mean is that there's nothing for you to do here

Let's drop the polite charade, Leslie

I hate you as much as you hate me Maybe more

And you don't have to play the martyred stepmother to me anymore I've outgrown that

So you see, all the expensive education in Switzerland isn't a total loss

Margaret, we're both tired, and we're both upset

I'm sure neither of us wants to say anything they don't mean,

or that we may be sorry for later

Why don't we get some sleep?

Tomorrow may be a long day

Margaret, I'm worried

I love him too

I haven't been able to sleep

I'm terribly nervous

[Exhales] Margaret, I'm afraid

I don't want anything to happen to him

I know I know

Don't worry Don't worry

[Woman On Television] What kind of insurance could he have?

[Man On Television] Enough to cover doctors'and hospital bills

Say, 125 a week cash beneflt Around 50,000 capital sum

Capital sum? What's that? In case he gets killed

- Maybe I shouldn't have said that - [Sighs]

I suppose you have to think of everything in your business

Well, your husband would understand

I'm sure I could sell him on the idea of some accident protection

Why don't I talk to him about it? You could try, but he's pretty tough going

Oh, they're all tough at flrst

He has a lot on his mind He doesn't want to listen to anything

except maybe the baseball game on the radio A little early for the late show?

[Woman] Sometimes we sit here all evening and never say a word to each other

[Man] Sounds pretty dull

[Woman] So I just sit and knit

[Man] Is that what you're waiting for? No calls?

Except to say they haven't heard anything

- They've got fuzz of some kind out on the street, watching the house - Federal agents

And there's nothing in the paper about Daddy or the kidnappers

No We've kept it out of the press and off the radio and the television

I was waiting for the news

- Where are you going? - I have a date in court

How can you do that? I mean, how can you function?

Seems like a strange time to play lady lawyer

Someday, when you take on responsibilities, you'll flnd out that you don't always have a choice...

that you have to function, no matter what

I guess I'm lucky I'm still irresponsible,

because all I can think about is my father

No more than I

Why don't you try to occupy yourself with something, Margaret?

I mean something besides television and running up overseas telephone bills

You might flnd that it'll pass the time more quickly

I'll call you the moment I hear anything

Leslie! Good luck

- With your case - Thank you, Margaret

[Man] Good afternoon I sell accident insurance on husbands

You got one that's been around too long? One you'd like to turn into cash?

just give me a smile and I'll help you collect? [Chuckles] Boy, what a dope you must think I am

I think you're rotten

I think you're swell, so long as I'm not your husband

- Get out of here - You bet I'll get out ofhere, baby

I'll get out ofhere, but quick

[Movie Sound Track. Orchestral]

Now, when their attorney cross-examines you about the accident, cry

About what? Everything

Especially when he asks you how fast you were going when you hit their car

Excuse me just sit down there

Give me the brief, Michael

[Sighs] Ah Les

Can we talk... Have you found my husband?

Can we talk privately? You can tell me here

- I think we'd better speak privately - Just tell me, did you flnd my husband?

- Please, Mrs Williams - Will you tell me? Is he all right?

Your husband is dead, Mrs Williams

[Exhales] Oh

[Breathing Deeply] Are you all right, Mrs Williams?

Give me a moment [Continues Breathing Deeply]

[Carlson] Can we get you a doctor? [Leslie] Yes

I'll arrange to have you driven home

Get my bag and things

[Sighs] [Columbo] I'm very sorry...

[Leslie] I know

[Carlson] Lieutenant Uh,

did she ask where the body was? No

I didn't think so Oh, listen, one more thing, Mr Carlson

She didn't, uh, ask how her husband was killed, did she? No

That's what I thought All right, Lieutenant, what's bothering you now?

No, nothing No, come on Something's bothering you

No, it's just that up until now,

you know, she was very cool and she was very composed,

and she suddenly fell apart in front of other people

I don't see anything so strange about that No? Convenient maybe?

Conven... Look, Columbo

If you think she had something to do with the kidnapping, just say so

Look, I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you

You asked me what was botherin' me, and I told you

Let's understand this one thing... If you start harassing this woman, I'm going to take it upstairs

Uh, just one minute, uh, Mr Carlson You see, it's like this

This is not just a kidnapping This is a murder now,

and I kinda flgure that's my department

I'll see you around

I gave Margaret an injection, put her to bed She'll be asleep soon

[Leslie] Oh, good

Take two of those before bed They'll put you out all night long

Thank you I can't thank you enough Really All of you l...

We'll let you get some rest now [Sighs]

You're so brave Thank you

Call me if you need me I will I will

Good night, darling See you tomorrow Good night Thank you

Take care of yourself Bye [Door Closes]

Mrs Williams, we'll be keeping a man on the house for the next few days

Is there anything else we can do? No, thank you

Good night Good night

[Sighs]

[Humming]

[Continues]

[Man] Let us pray O Lord, we implore you to grant this mercy to your dead servant,

that he who held fast to your will by his intentions may not receive punishment in return for his deeds,

so has the true faith united him with the throng with the faithful on earth,

Your mercy may unite him with the company of the choirs of angels in heaven through Christ our Lord

Eternal rest grant upon him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him

May he rest in peace

May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God,

rest in peace

My deepest sympathy to you, Mrs Williams Thank you

I pray you be comforted Thank you

God's peace be with you

[Engine Starts]

Leslie Yes, Margaret

- This is what you wanted, isn't it? - [Gasps]

Are you all right?

[Exhales] I'm all right

I'm all right It's nothing

[Door Closes]

I'm all right

[Doors Closing] [Engine Starts]

- Are you all right? - Yes Thank you

Who are you? I'm Lt Columbo I'm from the local police

It there's ever anything you want,

you're not alone Margaret

Remember, I'm always available

You'd better come They're waiting for you

[Woman] I see now what you mean about her, Les She's spoiled and completely selflsh

No, Pat You can't blame her

Paul and I both indulged her too much, I guess It was our fault really

If she were mine, stepdaughter or not, I would kick her out right now without a dime

Oh Uh, Pat, I think Les should get some rest

Yes, I think so too

[Chattering]

[Leslie] Too much money... So sad

You've got to make her grow up, Les Are you all right?

Yes, I am Thank you very much

Good-bye, Leslie Good-bye

Oh, I have to tell you how much I appreciate everything

You have been such good friends

[Kisses] Paul loved you He loved you all So do I

Good-bye, Leslie We love you

I'll call tomorrow Okay

[Door Closes]

Margaret!

Margaret, come down, please I know you're up there listening, so you might as well come down

You called, Mother dear? I think we'd better have a talk

Of course, Mother dear

Margaret, I'm willing to overlook the incident at the cemetery

I'll write it off to adolescent hysteria

But I'm in no mood to tolerate any further outbursts, sarcasm, anything

Of course

You're making it very difflcult for us to live together

I think you should go back to school this weekend

The school doesn't open for another month There's nobody there

- You have friends in Paris Visit them - Leslie, I'm not going anywhere I'm staying right here

- Why? - It's my home too!

Margaret, while we're on the subject of school,

I think we better talk about something else

Like what? Finances

Your father... Your father and I have kept you very sheltered from our flnancial affairs,

but now I think that you are ready to face certain realities

I have my own trust account

You did I won't bore you with the details,

but, since you're a minor, your father and I had joint control of that account

- What happened to it? - In order to pay the ransom, I was forced to close that account out

along with everything else that we had

You're trying to tell me that we're broke Is that it?

No It's not as bad as all that My law practice and the flrm will provide us with enough

to keep us off the streets of Beverly Hills

But there will have to be certain readjustments

You mean my allowance That's a very good example

How much of a "readjustment"?

I don't know I'll have to see what I can come up with

I'll let you know

In the meantime, while you're here for the next couple of weeks,

why don't you try to flnd yourself a job, pick up some extra cash?

Might come in handy

May I help you?

Uh, Lt Columbo I had an appointment

Oh, of course My goodness, you're early

I know How'd you get in?

Oh, the janitor was nice enough to let me in

Ms Williams should be here in a moment She's never late for an appointment

Oh, really? Me, I got this terrible habit... I'm always early

Whenever I have to be anywhere, I get there ahead of time

What, you a legal secretary? Believe it or not, I'm an attorney

I'm called an associate which means that, since the secretary phoned in sick, I have to fl/I in

- I don't know how you do it - Do what?

- Work for a woman - Oh, it doesn't bother me

It just so happens that she's one of the best trial attorneys in this state

Good morning

Good morning Have I kept you waiting?

Uh, no I was early Oh, good

[Door Opens] Well, won't you come in?

Shall I hold the calls? Please, Michael

I'm sorry to bother you your flrst day back and all, but...

Oh, that's all right, Lieutenant

I understand the federal people haven't come up with anything

No, nothing Not a word, not a clue

Say,

that's some telephone

Yes

What-What are you, uh... You big on gadgets, are you?

No I just happen to flnd that one a great help

You see, say that I want to get in touch with a client

to be in court, say, Monday for example

I just tape a message,

and this machine calls my client and does it for me

Oh, that's...

That's really somethin' Hmm

You know, today they can do everything electronically, I mean, if they wanted to

I'd bet on that

You don't mind if I take down the name of this, do you?

I mean, maybe I could con the department into getting one for my offlce

You have a pen? Oh, thank you

These things, they really fascinate me

They got a new thing today, uh, like if I wanna take my wife to the ball game,

uh, I just dial this service, uh, for the tickets

And it's all done by the computer

It's really, uh... It's unbelievable

Hmm What did you want to see me about, Lieutenant, exactly?

Uh, you see, Mrs Williams,

now that, uh, a murder has been committed, it's, uh...

It's my job to look at this case from all possible angles

I would think it would be your job to catch the kidnapper

Oh, well, the federal agents are on that, and, of course, we have our men on it too

- Very reassuring - Yes, it is, 'cause they do a flne job

But, uh, you see, the thing is with me, uh,

I'm a strange guy

Really? Yeah I worry

I mean, little things bother me I'm a worrier

I mean, little insigniflcant details...

I lose my appetite, I can't eat

My wife, she says to me, "You know, you can really be a pain "

- You know what I mean? - Yeah, I get the general picture

Why don't you get on with...

Oh, yeah Sure, right

You see, there are certain things here about your husband's kidnapping that, uh...

Certain details that, uh...

- Does this lighter work? - Yes

- Boy, they really nag me - Such as?

- The bag for instance - Which bag?

The one you dropped from the plane, the one with the ransom money in it

- Oh, didn't I say which bag it was? - No, you didn't

- I'm sorry I thought I did - What about the bag?

Well, I just thought it's funny that whoever took the money out of the bag,

they didn't take the bag with them

- Well, what's so funny about that? - You flgure a kidnapper, he's afraid to get caught, right?

So he's not likely to stop, open a bag, take the money out

then run away and leave the bag behind

[Inhales] Well, of course, you know more than I do, Lieutenant,

but don't people under stress act more out of

immediate emotion than logic?

That's absolutely true

In fact, I'll go even further

That's what does most criminals in eventually

Well, then isn't it safe to assume that, uh,

that they would open the bag to see if the money was there?

And then, after they saw it, out of fear or panic,

take the money out of the bag and run

Yeah, that's probably right That's probably right

I'm sure that it's right I mean, I don't mean to defend my point about the bag, but...

I was just using that as an example to show you the kind of person I am

You understand how details bother me

In other words, I'm trying to show you a whatchamacallit of mine,

a, uh... An idiosyncrasy

Right Idiosyncrasy

- Gee, that's, uh... That's a good word - Oh, one of the best

- Anything else? - Uh, no

No, I guess that's it

Listen, I, uh... I wanna thank you for taking the time to talk to me

I really appreciate that It certainly helped straighten things out in my mind

Mm Anytime, Lieutenant Thank you again

Oh What, something else?

I don't know what's the matter with me

- One other thing... the angle of the bullet - What about it?

The bullet entered your husband's body at a 45-degree angle

What's the signiflcance in that?

Well, that means that your husband was standing, and...

See the way you're standing?

- Oh, Leslie, I thought... - Just the way you're standing

[Echoing] You seejust the way you're standing

And the killer was sitting just the way I am [Echoing]

And from this position,

the killer shot him [Echoing]

I'm sorry l...

[Exhales] Uh, would you, uh...

A little water on the table

Thank you I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you

That's all right That's all right Please, go on with what you were saying

Listen, I can come back another time Mm-mmm No

Really, I'm all right I want to hear

Are you sure you're all right? Mm-hmm

There's not much else to say about it It's just...

It's just another one of those things that bothers me

Uh, I mean, what was your husband doin'?

Was he just standing there

while some guy sitting down shot him?

Well, at this point, uh, there's no way of really knowing what happened, is there?

Right You're right about that

Right That's...

But the other thing, now, is peculiar Something else?

Your husband, he was shot with a 22-caliber revolver So?

Well, most criminals, they use a 32, maybe a 38

But this one was different? He sure was

And I tried to flgure it Why a 22?

Hmm That's interesting

Yes, you see, that is interesting

What if he wanted to flre into someone

and be reasonably certain that the bullet didn't have the velocity to go through the body?

- But why? - Because he didn't want any trace of the crime

in the room where he shot him

Well, you've given these details of yours a lot of thought, Lieutenant

Listen, I know all these things don't seem like much

Put 'em all together, one of top of the other,

and, I'm telling you, that kidnapping just doesn't add up

Let me understand you correctly Are you implying that this was perhaps not an ordinary kidnapping?

That's right That's interesting, isn't it?

Now, what if someone set out to murder your husband,

and he only made it look like a kidnapping?

And so the ransom money... all that was a setup

Yes! That's possible

Look how that throws us off

We're looking for kidnappers that don't exist,

and, in the meantime, the real killer is so close by we can't even see him

And all these little details of yours fall into place

The angle of the gun Exactly

Shot by someone he knew while the murderer was sitting down

Caliber of the bullet Right

Killed in a room where he didn't wanna leave any traces

No bullet holes in the wall, for example

The empty bag? That's a puzzler I can't flgure that one out yet

Lieutenant, in all honesty, I must tell you you have collected

one of the most absurd hypotheses I have ever heard

Nothing that you said proves anything one way or another

I know that I'm not a lawyer,

and maybe my theories are not as good as they should be

But, Mrs Williams, I've been a cop for a long, long time,

and after a few years, believe me, the old nose gets to be pretty good

What do you want from me? You know how you could help?

If you would just talk to me about your husband yourself,

then maybe I can come up with somebody...

a business associate, a friend, who knows...

but somebody who might have a motive to kill him

And if you can't? Federal men are working on the kidnapping

There's no harm done

Lieutenant, I don't hold with this murder theory of yours...

Mrs Williams, you're perfectly within your rights

Lieutenant, let me flnish But I will do whatever I can to help you

Whoever it was killed my husband, for whatever reason, I want him found

I was hopin' you'd say that

Michael, Lt Columbo and I will be at the airport if you need us

[Phone Handset Clatters In Cradle] Why will we be there?

I try to get a few hours flying at least two days a week, and this is one of those days

Besides, I feel as if I want to get away from here Come with me We'll talk

Where, in a plane?

Lieutenant, are you afraid of flying?

Well, it's, uh... It's not one of my favorite pastimes

[Engine Accelerates]

It's a great release for me being up here, Lieutenant

All alone, totally free

I do some of my best thinking up here

No kidding? No kidding [Chuckles]

[Sighs]

Uh, Mrs Williams? Hmm?

Would you not do that? You're nervous

No offense I'm like this in a car

I'm always nervous when I'm not driving

Would you like to take over? I beg your pardon?

I could teach you how to handle the plane in an hour

Oh, yes, well, really, that would be wasted on me

I don't intend to fly again

You make me feel terrible Flying is a wonderful experience I've ruined it for you

No, you haven't I've never been crazy about flying actually

But that's because you've never done it What we don't know, we fear

Take the controls No, I'd rather not, thank you

Try it I want you to feel what happens

Really, that's very, very kind of you, and I appreciate that

Why don't you just describe it to me?

I want to show you how easy it is, Lieutenant Are you ready?

Ready for what? Here we go

Here You take the controls

That's a mountain up ahead

What do I do? Turn the wheel to the left

Keep your feet off the rudder pedal Pull back on the wheel, Lieutenant

No, no Not too much Not too much

You've overcorrected Keep the plane's nose up

You have to treat the plane like a woman You have to treat her gently

You have to treat her very gently

See? Watch out for that peak Pull it up Pull it up

Come on, Lieutenant Up, up!

Up Pull it up

That was brilliant, Lieutenant

You're gonna make an ace pilot

There

Like it?

I'd appreciate it if we didn't talk for a while

Sure

[Breathes Deeply]

Can you talk yet? Not yet

[Breathes Deeply]

Ready? Okay

Ask me anything I'll try to help you any way I can

Did you ever teach your husband how to fly?

Ah, no He wouldn't learn

- Any other questions? - Um, well, Mrs Williams,

did your husband have any personal enemies?

He didn't have any personal enemies Everyone admired my husband

And he was respected by his fellow attorneys

They elected him president of the local bar association for flve consecutive years

But, you know, sometimes behind the applause,

there might be somebody who's envious, somebody resents all that success

If there was such a person, I never met him What else?

Yes?

Um, this is not an easy question

- You understand that? - Go on

Did your husband ever have any relationships with any other women?

My husband was never unfaithful to me

How do you know that? How can you be sure?

Because he had a rigid code of ethics from which he never deviated

- Must have been quite a man - There was nobody like him

I'm sorry I can't be of more help to you No, it's all right

You've been ofhelp This is a process of elimination You understand that?

- No other questions? - No No, I guess not

[Inhales] Then we'll head back

You all right?

Oh, yeah

Yeah Yeah, I'm flne

Did you enjoy yourself?

Well, it was, uh... It was quite an experience Mm-hmm?

I mean, I know what you mean now about relaxing up there

Because when I flrst started out, I was very tense, but now... [Chuckles]

Anytime Anytime, Lieutenant Yeah

Uh, say, uh...

You know, I have this cousin, Ralph His name is Ralph

Anyway, Ralph was the greatest at everything, you know?

He thought better, he talked better, he made out better

Ralph was the greatest But I mean, Ralph...

Boy, that Ralph was somethin', I'll tell you that I'll never forget him

Ah, is there a point to this story, Lieutenant?

A point? A point

No, I don't think there's a point, except... Well, maybe...

Maybe what it was is that when you were talking about your husband in the plane,

I guess that reminded me of Ralph

You see, because Ralph, he was a bore

I mean, he was so perfect, there were times I felt like killin' him

[Inhales] Yes, well,

I have to change now, Lieutenant

[Radio. Jazz]

That's all, fellas My mind is someplace else

[Ashtray Clatters]

Hey, Lieutenant What do you say, Bert?

Aw, what's the use of kickin'?

You know what's your trouble? You don't have much imagination

What do you mean by that? You always look at the menu, and you always order chili

By God, you know that's true

What'll it be? I'll have the chili, Bert

[Chuckling] See what I mean?

Well, look at it this way You'll never be disappointed

Hey, you got somethin' there

All right Bowl of chili

For the lieutenant Make it special

Lt Columbo?

Oh, yes? I'm Margaret Williams

You remember me? Oh, yes, of course

Yes Uh, I just didn't expect to see you here

Listen, try the chili You won't be sorry

Lieutenant, I came to see you

Well, what-what about? My father's murder

Listen, I'm terribly sorry about that

We just haven't been able to come up with anything on that

[Utensils Clatter]

Well, I may have something Are you sure you won't have something to eat?

Lieutenant, this is very important

Oh, I'm sorry Go ahead

I'm listening

Could we move to that booth over there? Oh, certainly

You see, it's, uh... It's the crackers that make the dish

I think my stepmother may have had something to do with it

Now, you realize what you're saying?

Yes Then tell me

She never loved him

She used him to get what she wanted for herself... a career

She used his name, his influence,

so that she could become the famous lady lawyer

And to be a partner with my father was instant stature,

instant success

Well, uh, when did all this start?

Did this start while your mother was still alive?

Yes, but he didn't have an affair with her

How can you be sure of that? I knew him

He was faithful to my mother all through those last years while she was dying

Well, when did they get together romantically?

After my mother died

She talked him into leaving the state supreme court,

something he'd worked for all his life

But he left it because he wanted to be with her

Is that when they became partners?

That was the bait

He did that for her, so she married him

Why would she want to see him dead?

My father came to visit me in Switzerland during last vacation

Then he told me what a fool he'd been,

how she flnally told him that she thought he was a bore...

a dull, tiresome old man... and she wanted a new arrangement

He started to cry

I'd never seen him cry before

He was to quit the flrm, turn it over to her

Then they were to live their separate lives

She didn't ask for a divorce,

just that they share the house... nothing more

He could never stomach living a lie like that, and he told her so

She just laughed at him

I put my arm around him Didn't know what else to do

- So, what did he do? - He threatened to throw her out and close down the offlce

He dared to stand up to her

I think that's why he was killed

Well, now, look, Margaret,

you've told me some reasons why maybe your stepmother might have a motive

- But they're all true - I didn't say they weren't

But you don't have any proof of anything, and you don't have any evidence

All you have is your assumptions

You understand? Besides, how could she do it?

What would she do, involve some other people?

Hmm? That would be very risky, wouldn't it?

No You see, the only possible way would be...

- No No, that's crazy - What is it?

Now, it just occurred to me that the only possible way

would be if somehow there never was a kidnapping

- She killed him, then set it up to look that way - Now, I never said that

I mean, that's a crazy idea I mean, forget that idea

Lieutenant, how do you go about proving something like that?

Oh, goodness I don't know how to do that

I think you got a crazy idea there I think you oughta forget about it

Well, I'll be in touch with you, Lieutenant

All right All right

You know, there might be something in the position of the car seat

Did you say something?

I said there might be something in the position of the car seat

What car seat? Your father's car

The night they picked up your father's car,

somebody noticed that the car seat had been moved forward

I don't understand

Your father's a very tall man, isn't he? He's 6 foot or better

Well, whoever drove that car last, they had moved the seat forward

Like a woman? Could be

And, of course, there's your father's keys What about them?

We never found them Keys weren't in the car

And later on when we found your father's body,

the keys weren't on the body either

- So? - Well, did you ever notice how, just out of habit,

when you get out of a car, you automatically reach for the keys?

You see, the last person out of that car instinctively took the keys with them

And may still have them

[Door Opens]

Police Department?

I'd like to speak to Lt Columbo please

[Softly] Mrs Williams

- [Louder] Mrs Williams - [Gasps]

What is it? I got the telephone call I came right over

I didn't call you I know that It was your stepdaughter, Margaret

- How did you get in here? - She said she was gonna leave the door open

I don't understand Why? Why did she call you?

She said she had something to show me Oh

Oh Margaret?

Margaret You want me?

Yes Lt Columbo is here to see you

No I think he's here to see both of us Are you?

I thought he might like to know that I found these keys...

my father's key ring... and in your bedroom

Margaret, you say these are your father's keys?

Lieutenant, could you explain the importance of these keys? It isn't at all clear to me

You see, Mrs Williams, it goes like this

The keys were not in the car, and they were not on your husband's body,

so we were wondering what happened to 'em

My father was never kidnapped

- He came home that night, and you killed him - Oh, Margaret

Margaret, you really don't know what you're talking about

Yes, I do! Oh, Lieutenant, I can't do anything with her

She's been on the verge of hysteria... It's true! You... You killed him It's true!

Lieutenant, you know it's true Wait a minute just one moment

Go sit down Sit down in that chair

Now listen to me, Margaret

What you're saying might mean something except for one point

These are not your father's keys

Margaret, I've had the house watched, and you had a locksmith up here yesterday

And I've got an invoice of every duplicate key you had made

I'm gonna overlook what you did this time, but I want you to remember something Forging evidence is a crime

- But she killed him! - There is no proof of that

She did it! I know it, and you know it too! No, I don't know it

Yes, you do! No, I don't know...

Young lady, don't you ever do that again

- [Door Slams] - How could she think a thing like that, Lieutenant?

I always knew that she resented me,

but I never thought that she would go this far

I'm gonna have to tell you the truth, Mrs Williams

Um, I knew how she felt

You see, the, uh... The fact is-is she came to me the other day,

and she told me that she thought you were involved

I told her it was a far-fetched idea

Yes, but you did manage to tell her about the missing keys

You never mentioned them to me

That wasn't among those "little details"that was bothering you so much

Well, now, Mrs Williams,

if by some remote chance your stepdaughter had been right,

it wouldn't have been very smart for me to have told you, now would it?

- I understand - Good afternoon, Mrs Williams

Lt Columbo? Yeah?

Thank you for straightening Margaret out I appreciate it

Oh, it was the only thing I could do

I just can't have you accused of murder on the wrong evidence

I know you did it

I know it

I think you ought to see a doctor, Margaret

Do you? Yes, I do

I think you're a very sick girl

You listening? Yes, but it's very difflcult because I'm so sick

Margaret

Why don't you go back to Switzerland?

I'll put you up at a hotel until school opens

I'm staying right here

You listen to me You stay here only as long as you behave

One more little drama, and I will not only cut off your allowance,

I will tie up your estate

You will be on Social Security before you see a nickel of it

Where will all your friends be then, Margaret,

when you haven't the money to buy them anymore?

[Murmurs] [Footsteps Departing]

[Phone Rings]

[Rings]

[Rings] Yes?

Oh, uh, Mrs Williams? Yes?

This is Lt Columbo I was wondering if I might drop by to see you

I got something to show you I think you'll really appreciate it

It's for you Some stunt, huh?

I remembered how you like gadgets I thought you'd get a kick out of it

Somethin' you could show at parties, somethin' to amuse your friends with, like that

Would you like to tell me how you did it? It was nothin' to it

I got one of these special phones of yours,

I got a tape machine and I got a timer

And I rigged it up, and that was it

I'm very busy, Lieutenant

Would you like to tell me what this has to do with my husband's murder?

You see, I can't get anything past you You really got me pegged

I'll tell you what it is It just shows that your husband

could have been dead at the time of the phone call,

that his voice could have come from carefully edited tapes from your offlce

[Inhales] You know, Columbo,

you're almost likeable in a shabby sort of way

Maybe it's the way you come slouching in here

with your shopworn bag of tricks

Me? Tricks?

The humility, the seeming absentmindedness,

the, uh, homey anecdotes about the family,

[Chuckling] the wife, you know?

- Really? - Yeah, Lt Columbo

fumbling and stumbling along,

but it's always the jugular that he's after

And I imagine that, more often than not, he's successful

I appreciate that compliment, Mrs Williams, and I particularly appreciate it coming from you

I must tell you I'm disappointed in you, Lieutenant

I'm really very disappointed How's that?

You've reduced yourself... from veiled threats and insinuations

to vaudeville

Now, what did you really expect to achieve by this tasteless stunt?

Did you expect me to throw myself at your feet confessing?

No No, I didn't think you'd do that Then what good did it do?

I just add it up with all the other details,

and, after a while, you're able to see what really might have happened

"Might have" "Could have" Those aren't phrases that hold up in court

You'd be thrown out for lack of evidence

Yeah, but, you know, justice is strange, counselor

With some people, it's not enough just to be acquitted

With some people, it's also necessary to convince the public

by producing the guilty party as well

I'm familiar with the Perry Mason school of justice, Lieutenant

It's not a bad tactic...

threaten to ruin my reputation by accusation, create a doubt about me

But then there's always the other side

I could always show that you were hounding me, maliciously persecuting me

You're playing a weak hand, Lieutenant

Either arrest me or get out of here

I'm gonna have to tell you the truth

Department took me off the case

There's just nothin' concrete, nothin' to give to a DA,

and there's a murder out in Malibu they want me to look into [Sighs] Oh

And you couldn't bear to leave without saying good-bye, huh?

That's right That's right

After all that, I almost forgot to say it

- Good-bye, Mrs Williams - Good-bye, Lieutenant

[Margaret] Hello [Gunshot]

- [Gasps] - How do you like it, Leslie?

Just giving you the same kind of welcome home you gave my father

- [Murmurs] - Stop, Leslie

The flrst one was a blank

But who knows? The next one may be the real thing

Margaret, just let me go by just let me...

Nothing There's nothing in that gun

There's nothing, nothing in that gun!

Margaret!

Margaret!

[Gasps]

[Margaret's Voice] My father was never kidnapped

He came home that night, and you killed him

I know you did it I know it

[Echoing] I know it I know it I know it I know it

[Echoing Fades] I know it I know it

Margaret!

Is that what you want?

Out! Out! I want you out of this house tonight!

Even if you throw me out, Leslie, I won't stop

I'll hound you, humiliate you, embarrass you

Get packed!

You used all of my trust account to pay the ransom,

and now you think you can get away with my share of the estate too?

You're not going to get away with it

I want what's mine

You want to negotiate, don't you?

I just want what's coming to me

[Sighs]

I'll give you 2O, OOO a year for flve years

That will take you into your trust

My trust account was for 25 a year

plus a bonus of 5,OOO... all in cash

You are some little girl

All right, if you're on the plane tomorrow

Excuse me

I have a lot of packing to do

[Footsteps]

[Airport Chatter]

When you arrive at Zurich, Mr Steiner will meet you at the airport

He'll take you to the bank and open an account for you

Good-bye, Margaret Good-bye, Leslie

[Women Chattering]

Lt Columbo

Mrs Williams Pursuing or extraditing?

Nah Nah, just waiting

You seem depressed Did a criminal get away?

Come on I'll buy you a drink for consolation

I hate to see you unhappy

You know, that's very nice of you I have a heart I do

[Chuckling]

[Woman On PA] Flight 26 to Phoenix, Denver and Fort Worth

now loading at Gate 11

[Announcement Continues, Indistinct] [Sighs]

Yes? What will you have, Lieutenant?

- After you - Sherry

- I'll have a root beer - The root beer?

[Chuckling] Lieutenant, you always manage to make me feel decadent I do?

Mm-hmm Gee, I never knew that I'm sorry

It's nothin' personal You understand that? Oh, I understand

I'm gonna miss you, Lieutenant,

you and all your fascinating little details

You know, you're somethin'

You really are somethin'

- I'm gonna try and take that as a compliment - Oh, it is

Is it? Believe me

[Woman On PA] All persons meeting incoming flights

- are requested not to go beyond the reception areas... - To you

Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated

Here's lookin' at ya, Mrs Williams

You know, for a while there, I thought, "I'll never get her"

All those little details, theyjust didn't make it There was nothing conclusive

- And then I thought, "lt's gotta be the money" - What money?

The ransom money When a person engineers a false kidnapping,

they have to have the money hidden somewhere

Now, it cleaned you out to raise the ransom, so I thought,

"I gotta flnd a way to force her to use the ransom money "

Thank you very much It seemed like a nutty idea to everybody

I know it did to my wife, but I believed in it because,

Mrs Williams, you have no conscience,

and that's your weakness

Did it ever occur to you that there are very few people

that would take money to forget about a murder?

It didn't, did it? I knew it wouldn't

No conscience... limits your imagination

You can't conceive of anybody being any different than what you are,

and you're greedy

And that's why, as bright as you are... and you're bright...

you believed that Margaret could be bought

- [Woman On PA, Indistinct] - Get to the point

- Come on Get to the point - Well, here's the point, Mrs Williams

You see?

You were set up I arranged it all with Margaret

I told Margaret that if she really wanted to nail you,

she had to force you to use the ransom money

Oh [Sighs]

You're very lucky, Lieutenant

No

Congratulations You're very smart

- So are you - Thank you

[Footsteps Approaching]

Forgive the charade about the briefcase,

but we had to make sure the money was in there before we arrested you

I had no alternative Would you like to flnish your sherry?

I don't think I want any more

Would you advise Mrs Williams of her rights and drive her downtown

[Sighs]

[Woman On PA] Dr Paul Bailey, please report to the international ticket counter

Dr Paul Bailey, please

That'll be $11 O, please

Oh, yeah

I'll be with ya in one minute Um...

Uh...

Uh, would you mind if I signed for this?

Uh, I'm from the police Lt Columbo

I guess that'll be all right All right, flne

Now

Oh Thank you very much