Original subtitles

ALL'S WELL, ENDS WELL (Extended version)

"I believe I love, but love can't be easily gained."

"May I ask how many model lovers in this world?"

"We met, we loved, we suspected each other."

"I hate being brushed off."

"I only want love naturally."

It's out of order.

It functions now!

It works finally.

Your body please.

Your turn, mother-in-law.

I'll sew it for you, mother-in-law.

Thank you.

I'm glad it's still here.

Are you back, hubby?

My hands are far different from my elder brother's.

I've got a smooth one.

Oh yes.

Don't take my advantage.

This is done in my floral arrangement class.

For you.

It's so beautiful! Thank you.

May I help you?

Stir two eggs for me please.

OK.

Have the yellow one, not the white one.

The yellow ones are bought last week.

Eat them first, I'm afraid they'll get rotten.

I know pretty well that you are a perfect housewife.

A fat housewife too.

Your brother is a wise man.

Being his wife, I've no salary, no Overtime, no double pay.

No benefits, I can't even quit!

I've to serve those 2 company directors!

You are very much appreciated.

I've married your brother after graduation from high school.

I can't change my "boss", you know.

Hi, I'm Shang Foon.

Why he is on air in the afternoon?

Since one of my colleagues is so stupid to step into the grave of love-

he is going to marry.

So I've to substitute him.

I've to say sorry to my sister-in-law.

I can't participate the dinner for her anniversary.

He is quite concern about you.

Sure.

Everyone wants to have some nice and peaceful meals.

Although I'm not with you now.

I can send my regards by a song.

Music.

Happy?

What are you doing?

I feel as sweet as the sugar.

Well.

Let me cook you a dish to celebrate your good day.

It's "Goose webs stuffed".

Thank you.

"My love,"

"My darling..."

"I'm hunger for your touch."

How much?

$83,000. with discount already.

Thank you.

For your wife?

Yes!

You do love your wife.

Yeah!

Why hasn't Ah Moon reached home yet?

I've called to his office, someone said he was off.

Let's wait for a while.

What? I do not agree!

Maybe, they want to eat with candle light, why not we eat first?

Yeah, just go ahead!

Fantastic!

I'll fetch the rice.

He is quite late!

This is for you, like it or not?

Why do you send me present?

This is a 1-year anniversary of our date

Forget?

Don't you think so?

Your present show your goods taste.

Thank you.

Your perfume shows your taste too.

My husband is back, I guess!

Hubby!

Hello!

How are you Aunt Mo-shang?

- You want to have... - Yes

... the foot massage for the old?

Yes

They are having dinner.

Dear cousins.

Cousin Mo-shang.

She appears when we begin our meal.

Be polite, greet her.

Greet Aunt Mo-shang.

Go ahead!

Aunt Mo-shang.

- Good boy. - Have your dinner here?

Wait, that is my elder brother's seat.

Never mind.

Have dinner together.

Goose webs?

This is specially for my brother and sister-in-law.

Bitch!

Are you clear about the sinus?

No.

OK, I'll help you after washing my hands.

Damn! She always ruins my stuff!

My aunt gave birth to her at 70.

So she is a little bit weird.

She respects the old learn it.

Let's start now.

Alright.

I heard that no one massages the foot right after the meal.

I have eaten nothing.

She is great!

She'll teach at your adult center next week.

Don't you know?

I can't eat anymore.

Your face is too yellow.

Really?

Is it red now?

You're trembling with cold.

The respiration system is weak too.

I can reach that key!

You don't have satisfactory sex life.

How do you know that?

I'll help!

Aunt Mo-shang, I can't stand it.

I'll massage it myself tonight.

Cousins.

Are you ready?

Let's start now.

I want you to press the sinus which you've just pressed for her.

Honey!

Honey!

II

Wow! Are you having liver disease?

I'm doing facial treatment.

Hag!

This is for you, for our 5 years anniversary.

7 Years!

Like it?

It's beautiful! Thank you

Hubby, I've bought you shirts too.

Is it beautiful?

Where did you find such color?

It's very cheap! $100 for 3.

- Really? - Yes.

Let me have a look!

How can I wear short sleeves?

But it's cheaper, you can wear it under your coat.

You don't like it?

I like it. I've to take a bath.

Wonderful!

"I believe in love, but scare of losing it."

"How many perfect lovers in his world?"

Let's sing together! It's funny.

You sing terribly, your know? How can I sleep?

Stop it! I've to go to work tomorrow

Can you sleep? Shall we do something?

Why don't you eat some sleeping pills?

Hubby.

Why? I want to shit now.

I see! This sinus is for smooth shitting!

"Radio 99.7MHz"

Now you are listening "The flower of love" by Chan Tsai Chung.

Now, the DJ of HK,

Shang Foon will listen to the last call.

Hello.

Hi.

What's your name?

Holliyok is speaking.

What a nice name.

Are you linked with Hollywood?

Sure.

I can only find myself

in those Hollywood films.

In the real world,

I can't find my true-self.

I feel so unsafe.

I'm lonely and lost.

What's that noise?

After listening your poor history,

I can't control myself.

I want to cry.

Forget about me, go on your movie world.

How are you recently?

Madonna!

I appreciate her style.

I love her lustful character.

Have you seen "In Bed with Madonna"?

Would you like to be in...

Miss Ho, please control yourself.

Don't lose your mind.

You'd bear in mind that I'm pure, I'm not wolf.

Please contact our staff.

Leave you address and phone number.

Come and collect your present-a laser disc.

Bye!

Mad gal!

I've never courted a mad one.

The Radio's Beauty is looking for you.

Foon Foon!

I want to stay with you tonight.

But I...

I want you to kiss me once.

Once! OK.

Dolleen, listen to me

When we meet again,

I just want to chat.

Those kisses and embraces,

I'm sick of that.

No!

Look at the clock.

Why?

What date is it?

23rd of December.

Now, December 23, 1991

At 2:30am, starting from this minute.

We are together.

But I want you to remember this minute.

Watch.

It's so long to wait for one minute.

Where is Foon?

He's left.

Foon, Foon...

Damn! Why didn't you beg me one more time?

Who do you think I am?

You're really smart in courting girls!

What a lady killer!

Kiss me once, OK?

You must have used your ultimate technique.

"The Double Inverted Eiffel Tower Kissing Technique"

Please teach me how, OK?

"The Double Inverted Eiffel Tower Kissing Technique"

is the top tactic in kissing

since it has supernatural power.

Once used, it will attract any female objects,

to rape me.

Cut the crap, please teach me.

I do wish to be raped!

Do you want to be raped by me?

Shit.

I'll never teach others.

I do think that nobody can learn it.

You're ruining my life.

I think so!

But why you name it "The Double Inverted Eiffel Tower Kissing Technique"

There must be special meaning.

I'm not free.

Miss.

What can I help you?

I would like to find...

Shang Foon.

You must be Ms Holliyok.

Why you come that late to collect your present?

I know very well that beautiful things will happen at night.

I guess, you are Shang Foon!

Absolutely correct!

You make me... feel disappointed!

I guess from your voice...

I think you'd be a sentimental man with dreams in movie.

But look at your dress-up...

you made feel too disappointed!

I've finally found one who feels disappointed about me.

Would you mind looking at my eyes?

So what?

Who do I look like?

E.T.

Thank you.

Look carefully please

To find something?

Eyelid edema!

Sorry, I haven't had good sleep recently.

Would you mind a closer look?

Look inside.

Dirty eyes.

Sorry, I forgot to wash my face.

Don't you think... my eyes are like...

Tome Cruise?

Damn!

Miss Ho.

Our chat here is only the teaser of a movie.

If it continues,

it may be a great love story.

I believe that it'll be erotic in genre.

All were waiting for you for dinner yesterday.

I'm sure you must have been with the concubine.

Kidding! I was busy in the office.

You'd have to show up.

Yesterday was your anniversary!

You'd have shown up!

She is so foolish to believe you're having no affair!

If I were she, I'd never have trusted you.

Although she is getting more and more foolish.

You'd not keep a mistress with you, that's too much.

Wife is like clothes.

I just want some for change!

Like you, you treat the girls like dirty socks.

You change them everyday.

Bullshit!

I seldom wear socks!

But I tell you...

women are like eggs.

It's doing exercise.

Stir and eat,

when it's fresh.

Don't waste any of it.

Do you have any responsibility to the girls?

Courting girls need no responsibility.

But tactics!

Just like in a battle, I'll win.

But I'll never keep those refugees.

Foon, men should have a stable family, men'd marry.

I support the marriage whole heartedly.

A man once married,

should be a loyal perfect husband.

Listened?

So I don't want to marry!

Creeper!

No, I'm lewd!

Sure you are.

You've a good wife but still want to have affair.

Put whatever rubbish in your mouth.

Look at you, a lustful wolf!

Beware of AIDS.

Do you understand what are moralities?

Do you feel guilty?

Why don't You marry?

Giving birth to babies are too painful!

I wanted to give you a ride. But it's too cool of you to take a taxi.

A motorcycle is too dangerous!

My life is so precious!

Isn't it safe to take a taxi?

Sure, as safe as condom!

Damn you!

I don't want you to play so childish in the Centre.

I do want her to hit me.

Bitch and wolf!

Good morning class.

Traffic jam I guess! Well, we'll wait them.

No sir, they've attended another class.

You really love my floral arrangement.

I do want to change.

But I'm not qualified.

You can remove the blood after drinking some water.

Headmaster.

A female teacher is having sex disturbance to the girls.

She tortures them.

To balance herself.

Really?

She is the new teacher Leung Mo-Shang.

If you don't believe, go up to the class 10 minutes later.

I'll prove it.

10 minutes, remember!

Anybody wants a try?

I'll do it!

I've paid the class fee.

Welcome!

How is the floral arrangement class? Closed?

No, just one day off.

Well, I'll try my best to teach you.

I know you would! Come on...

You are lacking of male hormone.

But it may be improved!

Relax, relax...

Isn't it that painful?

Ready?

Come up.

Help him up, girls!

Wait! Wait!

Bitch, one strike is not enough! Have one more strike if you dare!

Have some water!

Any problem? I don't see any.

Headmaster.

I've been late for some business, are you okay?

She tortured me.

I haven't seen it.

We did!

Let's go.

Headmaster, I...

You cold-blooded!

You are cruel.

Mr. Shang's told me.

It's true!

I've been long waiting.

Torture me!

Hit me, come on baby! Come on!

You bitch!

I wonder her address is a fake one.

She is like the poster model.

Pretty woman?

Look at your dress-up.

You made me feel too disappointed!

Miss Ho, what a coincidence.

Yeah.

The teaser is over.

Now, it'd come to the content.

You have just seen "Pretty Woman", right?

Yes, it's a perfect film.

I appreciate so much about the straightness of the actress.

What a coincidence, because

I appreciate Richard Gere.

Really!

But I can't find anything that you are like him.

No! At least one thing.

What?

We love wearing

suit and tie in anytime.

Really?

Yeah!

Would you like to go and see something with me?

I won't if it's not related to the romance of movie.

So you have to go,

cause I've to bring you to see,

Some props usually found in the Hollywood film.

Although it's quite old, it's kept well.

Props?

Where is it?

It appears!

In many great love movies,

romance happened under the moon.

It's too romantic!

Do you remember any movie?

"The wolf".

What are you doing?

Nothing special.

It's "Casablanca".

Really?

Bulgar kissed Ingrid under the moon.

In a Hitchcock's film "To Catch a Thief",

Grace's first kiss is taken by Terry Grand,

under the same moon.

Now, in such circumstance.

I think we can't avoid...

I'm not easy to get in.

I'm! Oh no,

I'm not too.

Still, we've a gap between us.

It can be removed.

Now, close your eyes, deep breathe.

Enjoy the moon light.

Isn't it "moon light"?

We've gap, see?

Never mind, the gap is over.

I just give you one chance.

And I'll go to Tokyo tomorrow morning.

Tokyo? What for?

For Tokyo Film Festival, and to learn something.

Let's see if we'll meet again.

Miss Ho, do you still need this?

Well, I'll take it.

Room 304? Thank you.

Hello.

Miss Holliyok.

Foon? Are you giving me long distance call?

I miss you, are you missing me?

Me too!

But what a pity that I'm in Tokyo.

But I feel boring in HK.

I feel boring in Tokyo too.

If you can show up now, that's great.

If you can show up now, that will be great.

Really?

Wait!

Excited?

Happy?

Foon, it made me so excited.

And so happy!

One word...

Great!

Isn't it out of your expectation?

Come in.

Foon!

Excited?

Happy?

"Pretty Woman" is cut.

What's be changed?

"Ghost"!

Oh no!

Fantastic! Can we try once more?

My pleasure!

See.

Another one defeated,

by my "The Double Inverted Eiffel Tower Kissing Technique".

The theme song of "Ghost" would be our song now.

Whenever I hear this, I'll remember how you kissed me.

Every time I hear it,

I'll remember how you rape me.

Go to hell.

You are mine only.

Sure, sure. But...

I have complicated sentiment.

If one with complicated sentiment loves only one person,

he'll be handicapped in love.

If one is handicapped even you own him forever,

it's useless.

Listen to me.

I've never loved a person so deeply.

I give you everything.

If you cheat me,

I'll cut your dick off.

Honey, don't talk to me like that.

So, kiss me.

If you kiss me now, you'd promise me that,

you love me only.

OK, OK.

Next time, there may be a chance.

Great!

You'd not lie.

Your students are threatened, they quit.

The case is...

I understand!

- Last time... - Last time!

He...

You understand?

Have you prepared...

Resignation letter?

No.

I've prepared one, is it useful?

No problem.

Keep this for me please.

I'm now going to kill Shang So.

Kill his whole family, rape his dad, and I'll soon be back.

Wait for me.

Uh?

Bitch!

Shitting?

Yes.

A date tonight?

A date with my husband.

Enjoy yourself.

Yes.

Bitch! You ruined my job!

- I'll throw your cans. - No!

- Burn your lantern! - No!

Kill your mom, rape your dad.

No, please!

Cousin.

Please let us go.

Your cousin is too old, he can't stand raping.

Sorry, sorry.

We've the letters from Yuan Kwan and Ka Ming.

Really?

Give it to me.

Ka Ming!

Yuan Kwan!

You two have your lovers respectively.

You'd mind your temper and plan your future.

Yeah, stay in peace.

Well, since you request.

I'll let him go.

Now, let's go to massage.

Cousin Mo-Shang.

What?

You'd keep your promise.

I can stand raping.

Hey!

Why not dine at home? It's too expensive!

To celebrate our anniversary.

We recommend Boston lobster, they are fresh.

No, Boston is long distance to HK.

It must be very expensive! No way.

Why not try T Bone Steak? It's nice.

Nice! It's must be expensive too! No way.

If you like to eat, I'll buy from supermarket, no.

I want fry-rice with egg.

Thank you.

Set dinner please.

Thank you.

Want some music, sir?

$100 can buy 3 meals' food, you know.

No need.

If you love songs, I'll sing it at home.

Don't be so mean. We seldom dine here.

I want to save money for you only.

Hello.

I saw your car parked outside Hotel Grand.

I'm coming.

- Now? - Yes.

Boss, we can't have meeting.

I'm dinning with my wife.

I don't trust you.

I can't.

If you have a meeting,

I had better leave.

What? You'll arrive in 10 minutes?

OK, I'll wait you at the restaurant.

What a cold blooded boss?

Why don't you go now?

I want to have the rice taken away.

I'll take it home for you as midnight snack, OK?

I'm hungry now.

Go home, cook the noodle yourself, I'll be back soon.

OK.

Remember, don't pay too much tips. Bye.

You are that soon?

Captain, give me 2 sets of Boston lobster.

A bottle of Chateau 1985 too.

The fry rice...

Take away.

For my maid!

Why do you drink the wine? In good mood?

Cause I'm with you.

Make it 2 bottles please.

You've reached your home.

Bye.

Walk in yourself.

I'll park your car before the gate.

Why there are steps in front of your home?

I'll cook you breakfast tomorrow.

Hey men, you are here!

Brother!

Sister-in-law is in the room.

Hey! Go up to my room,

- Why are you walking around? - What are you doing?

Don't use my toilet...

How dare you take my girlfriend's advantage?

She is my concubines, you know?

I'm fainting.

Moon... Moon...

Take him inside first.

- Sister in law... - Go to sleep,

you guys go to sleep

What is it?

God knows! Let it be!

Moon, how are you?

I'm fainting!

Moon, how you feel?

You...

Don't think I'm those club girls or something.

I was a Miss HK participant but no one remembers me.

I've decent job.

But I can't go alone, leaving him drunken.

- I... - I don't want to break your family.

If I want to, it'd be a history already.

What do you want me to do?

Nothing special, you married him for so many years.

You'd love each other.

I do want to stay with Moon.

But I don't want you to go.

If you don't go, I can't stay with Moon.

Well, I don't want you to ruin your family.

But I don't want you to ruin our affair.

I don't know what I'm telling.

We are women, if you were me, what'd you do?

I'm leaving.

Don't! If so, I'm too bad!

I'm not bad at all!

(Shanghainese) Don't go please! Or I'll be blamed.

(Shanghainese)Please don't go!

(Shanghainese)Don't do that! Don't go! Listen to me!

(Shanghainese) Listen to me, don't go! Don't be so impulsive!

You can't leave, I don't want to feel guilty!

If you don't let go of me, I won't leave.

Sister-in-law.

Ah So, don't ask me to stay, my heart is dead.

No, looking from woman's point of view.

I think you'd leave.

You are losing face if you stay.

Go, Or they'll say you've no guts!

Go.

Ah So!

Women should have guts too.

If you don't go, there'll be lots of gossip!

Don't be teased by those bitches!

Go!

Continue acting!

You are talented! Beautiful!

Fat and dirty! You'll have bright future! I'm sure.

You'll be our sample!

Really?

Taxi!

Get in! Get in!

Get in?

If I don't shut the door, don't go.

He is running out to chase after you.

Where are you taking me to?

Who are you?

Your wife has gone, what'll you do?

It'll be fine.

Why don't you ask her back?

It'll be fine!

Why don't you ask her back?

It'll be fine!

When will you go and find your wife?

It'll be fine.

When"ll you brush that bitch aside?

It'll be fine!

Moon!

Shelia, he is my youngest brother

Hello!

Please give way

Where is my room? Take my stuff in.

I'll introduce you to my daddy and mom.

Sure.

Father-in-law, mother-in-law.

You look different today, daughter-in-law.

Your face is as red as the monkey's ass.

Dad and mom, she is Shelia.

She's shitter?

Shelia, a name.

No need of Filipino maid! Your wife is good at domestic work.

Ask her go back to the Philippines.

Dad, mom, she is new daughter in law.

New jewelry store?

When did the new jewelry store opened?

I hate the King's new empresses.

Take her away, kill her!

Honey.

Go and have a rest first, or I'll be late.

I'll come back early to have dinner with you.

Ah So.

Help Shelia, I depend on you.

Depend on me?

Pretty woman, pretty woman.

Walking down the street...

Pretty woman, pretty woman.

Oh!

Never mind, we are easy going.

But an old fashioned family, is a little bit troublesome. You should work hard.

We've never used maid before.

From now on

the family depends on you.

But the jobs are simple.

I think I can manage.

Sure!

What are that?

Incense at 5am,

help mom to bath at 6.

Wash my dad's feet at 7,

cook breakfast at 8.

Buy food from market at 9,

cleaning at 10.

Clumsy maid! Stop it!

Clean our bodies, starting from the head.

Head?

Oh! It's a wig!

How do you know that?

My God! What a shame!

We've finished looking the old picture, right?

Now, we'd...

Well, let me visit your toilet first.

Welcome...

Hello!

Foon, what are you doing now?

I'm thinking of you.

Where are you?

In Tokyo, a long way from HK.

Holliyok, if you could show up now

I would not mind dying.

I wish to stay with you now.

But I am in Tokyo now.

Stop please!

Why?

If you continue, I'll be suffering from missing you.

Please wait.

Sudden?

Happy?

Sudden! I'm Happy!

I've finished my shower!

Let's dance, OK?

Why? It's so dirty!

How come?

Go! Shower again! Go!

What are you doing? Foon.

I'm too happy!

What are you wearing? Which film's costume.

"Ghost"

Ghost again! It's changed!

Changed?

Which film now?

This!

I wonder you remember the costume I'm wearing?

I... I can't.

You disappoint me!

I'm not qualified to be Holliyok!

I'll give you one second.

I'm clean!

Really? Who say so?

Look at that!

Shave it now, hurry up!

Use some cream first, or it'll hurt.

I haven't got it.

I am really angry!

You've watched so limited films.

What'll I do now?

I'll give you 2 minutes.

No.

3 minutes.

No, I want you to tell me now.

Listen, this is...

"Kennedy with drunken fists"

"Kennedy with drunken fists"?

This is the sequel of "Kung Fu Sun Yat San".

I've never heard before.

So you'd hire the tape now.

You'd learn more and more.

Who acted in "Reagan with drunken fist"?

No, It's "Kennedy with drunken fists".

Yes, who acted the film?

Ronald Reagan, after viewing the tape...

match my costume, come and see me again.

OK.

I'll wait you, hurry up!

I'm clean.

That's perfect!

Why not dance?

I don't think so.

It's no need.

Foon?

I miss you.

Don't do that. I'll be right back.

I don't want to, but I can't control myself.

She...

You are so dirty!

Why don't you go and get a shower?

Who is she?

She comes to have a shower.

Push!

Hide!

Swing!

Doctor, how is my brother?

His skull breaks, causing apoplexia.

And a little bit hydrocephalus.

From the X-ray, he has partly cerebral congestion.

Since the supply of blood from the artery is insufficient.

So complicated.

No exactly, we can call it.

Brain disease.

He is such a rare case that

His brain is not fully developed.

Since he had a brain strike, thus caused this disease.

In medical terms,

it's called Cerebritis Paroxysm Amnesia.

His behavior is not logical, irregular, not predictable, unconscious.

Cannot be expected.

Is he married? Or does he has girlfriend?

Did you drive here? Give me a ride.

They've just gone.

That's fine, he won't drag anyone down.

But you'd take good care of him, it's a hard job.

My business? Why do you look at me?

OK... OK, I'll employ a nurse for him.

Can he recover?

Let's go there and talk.

Frankly speaking, the chance is limited.

Unless he'll meet a great excitement, like large amount of blood flush to the brain.

Then he may recover.

What sort of symptoms he is having?

Included...

Depression.

Paroxysm.

Nervosity.

Who is lustful? You are lustful!

Who is lustful? I'm lustful.

He is proud, indecent.

He doesn't care morality.

How dare you kiss your sister-in-law?

That's it!

He inclines to violence.

Robbery, money no! I want your underwear.

Your underwear only!

What? You wear no underwear?

Nervous before period.

Are you kidding, pal?

Only female patient has it.

But, he is a serious case, he may have it too.

Also, he'll suicide.

Foon!

Foon!

He fainted.

That's good!

He is useless, anyway.

Hey, what... what's that cerebritis...

It's Cerebritis Paroxysm Amnesia.

Oh yes...

Don't be anxious, listen to me.

That means...

Now you understand?

Eat the noodle.

Eat the noodle.

Damn!

What a bastard!

Have the noodle.

Gee!

What is it? Let me have a look.

No! It's funny.

Be a good boy, let me see.

Are you sure?

Look!

You are funny indeed!

It's funny.

What's it? Let me see.

What's it? Let me see.

May I?

Go to hell!

Ah...

What's it?

No body there.

Doctor said you'd be tied up for you lost control.

I've employed a nurse for you.

Oh, there is somebody.

Greet her.

Bitch!

I've to go to office, take care of him.

I depend on you, Miss.

Don't worry.

Foon, how are you?

I'm with you again.

I come and take care of you.

Come on.

I couldn't sleep but kept on thinking of you.

What a night mare!

I've never been cheated.

I put all my dreams on you,

but you cheated me!

Sorry... I'm sorry...

forgive me please

I'm so anxious, because I love you so much.

Can you recognize my costume?

Female killer!

Almost!

Female...

Do you know what a lady need most?

Tits!

No, virgin.

I have.

Do you know what's your fault?

Who is lustful?

I'm lustful!

Who is lustful?

I'm lustful too.

It's too late for you to admit your fault.

Those who cheated in the film.

Will have sad ending.

Cut your balls!

Cut your balls!

Cut! Cut! Cut!

This is a rehearsal only!

Now, it starts!

I love you.

Ah?

I love you.

I love you.

I've waited this for a long time, please say once more.

Say once again.

I love you.

What?

What a real friend of mine!

Cheers!

I don't care he is mad or not.

I won't be softhearted again!

I want you kneel in front of me and apologize.

It's my fault.

Please forgive me.

Kill me!

I dare!

Kill me!

Actually I want to suicide!

Kill me! I'm shameless!

I'm useless!

Please, let me die.

Don't do that, clean your face first.

Why perfect couples can't have happy ending.

No matter what he says.

I'll kill him or I'll kill myself!

Robbery.

On the wall. Please!

Pretty woman, walking down the street, pretty woman.

Pretty woman, cheater...

Pretty woman, cheater...

God! I'm no good.

I've to kill myself to pay my fault.

Silly girl, it's not the best way to solve the problem.

The mad boy'd be fixed in some soft way.

Follow me, I've got an idea.

Where are you going?

Don't come back late.

Should I prepare your dinner?

Answer me, OK?

It's no use for you to fool around

Stand where you are!

Naughty boy, do you hear me?

Stop!

Where do you want to go?

You want to bath?

Come Here!

Push him!

You are clean now.

We have a fresh air.

Damn!

He is proud, indecent.

Emotional is also.

"Oh! My love, my darling, I'm hunger for your touch."

This is our song.

Whenever I hear this, I'll remember how you kissed me.

"...lonely time"

"Time goes by..."

Hey, do you know how to sing "Dr. Slum"?

Sure.

Sing now.

"London bridge is falling down."

"Falling down."

"Falling down..."

"Return no more."

"London bridge is falling down..."

I'm afraid that Karaoke PR is same as club girl.

No, the pay is different.

But you'd accompany the customers to sing and play games.

Do you know to how to sing?

- I'm expert! - That's good!

Heung.

Are you introducing an applicant to me?

She is the applicant.

I'm not employing a cleaning staff.

She can change her outlook.

Right, I can sing pretty well, May I show you?

"I hate being brush off..."

"I fall in love."

I can sing man's part.

"I believe in love, but afraid of not getting love."

What'd I sing?

"May I know how many..."

Let's wish the bride and bridegroom a happy life ahead!

Cheers.

"We're depart now..."

Is she cursing us?

What's she doing?

Let's celebrate boss's release from prison.

I'll chop anyone if he mentions his life in jail.

Cheers!

"I've lost my freedom in prison, you have done wrongly..."

She's making fun of me?

"I'm wrong... and you..."

Who the hell is she?

"Have no hope"

10

You lose.

Drink it!

Don't drink it! It's not hygienic.

This has been drunk by him, wash it first.

You're so dirty!

Let's vacuum first!

She is as annoying as my mom.

Bra!

"Why I'll cry for you?"

"Don't you know it's because of love?"

"if not my lover left me?"

"I won't cry!"

Change her! I don't want her.

Sexual Harassment!

You look so ugly, you'd change it!

You depended on your husband before.

But now you'd depend on your own.

The taste of the customers.

But no one likes your style, you know?

You'd try your very best to change!

I miss you, sister-in-law.

Me too.

Are you busy?

Things are getting quiet.

Well, drink this first.

Ginseng and fish soup.

It's weird.

It's good to your throat!

And good to your wound!

How is the woman?

Don't mention that bitch!

She made the home a mess!

When you were at home. We used to have 7 dishes in dinner.

Yeah.

Now, we can only have lunch boxes.

I think she steals the money!

She buys over $200,000 in Joyce Boutique per month.

Yeah! $200,000.

She was only a participant in Miss HK.

She seldom goes to ball.

I can't understand Moon! She'll spend all his money.

I can't understand.

He'd know himself pretty well!

How can he court another girl? He is not a handsome guy!

He isn't.

You are right!

When will you come back?

Cheer up!

Look at you, you have luck you know.

Everything will turn out line. I'm sure.

I'd change completely.

Honey, do you know where my green tie is?

Which one?

The one bought with you in France.

Did I go to France with you? Huh?

Oh, nothing, I said nothing!

This match!

Really?

Sure!

Are you crazy?

Why did you turn off the T.V.?

Turn it on.

The fuse is burnt out, just stop watching.

I can't stop watching T.V.!

It's the end of the world.

The end of the world!

Torture!

Torture!

Honey, I...

No home tonight!

We've an appointment with the Japanese client.

What?

You are cruel!

You evil!

You bitch!

You want to murder us!

You bastards! You heartless!

Mr. Honda, any problem?

Wait, please wait.

It they sign this, we'll get damn rich!

Why my excellent woman hasn't come?

Beauty!

Brother Kwong!

Come over here...

Is she excellent?

Perfect!

Hi.

Have you had the plastic surgery?

Really?

Yep...

Do you know each other?

Is he your friend? He seldom come!

He loves his wife so much, he loves dinning at home.

He seldom fools around.

Really? Mr. Shang loves dinning at home. I see!

Not quite often.

Come and serve our boss

Good evening. How do you do?

Perfect!

What are you doing?

Damn! Let's go!

Right!

Are you crazy? The contract worth $20M.

She is my wife!

- Your wife? - We've separated!

I don't know what are you talking! Mr. Honda!

Is he your frequent customer? Watch out!

He is a wolf.

So am I!

Honey!

My name is not Honey,

Call me Ching!

Ching, how are you?

Fine! Thank you for your concern!

Don't go!

My customer is waiting for me. Mr. Shang.

I'll pay you! Sing with me all night.

I begged you to sing with me before.

Now you pay me to sing with you?

When will you off? Where are you living now?

May I take you home?

No, thanks, I've my...

BMX bicycle.

Honey!

You've mistaken, Mr. Shang.

Your wife is at home.

At least you'd tell me. Where is my green tie.

Which is bought in France.

In the 5rd drawer,

4th row, the 6th one

Thank you.

Open the door, honey.

Why are you that late?

I've met an old friend, so we chatted for a whole night.

It's so dark, why don't you turn on the light?

Why does the "National Geographic" last so long?

It's boring to see the fish!

Auntie, why do you come so late for foot massage?

Because“.

I'm jobless!

I've studied 10 minutes from Prof Ng in advance foot massage.

So I come to practice.

Did you ask anybody to repair the fuse?

Ah So is repairing in the kitchen. He said he'd be quick.

He said this 6 hours ago.

Come and help!

Take your bath!

I can manage.

Can you stop starring at me?

Damn you! Your are shameless! Bastard!

Why don't you give a helping hand?

Get lost! Bitch! Don't block my way.

That'd be beneficial to the world!

Get lost! Bitch! Don't block my way!

Shut the power first.

Has your Yuan Kwan discovered the secret?

What?

You are a bitch!

Has your Ka Ming discovered the secret?

I won't let him know my secret.

Me too!

Shit!

I have been Ka Ming's girlfriend since childhood, until 16.

He'll come back and marry me next week.

What a coincidence?

Are you telling me your stupid woman.

Will marry you?

Sure!

Luckily, we have our own lovers.

We won't fall for each other.

With you? Damn!

I am scared!

Don't be scared!

My heart beats so fast.

I'm here! I'm here.

What is he doing?

Why not next time?

We've just learn how to play Taiwan Mahjong.

But one partner is lacking.

Ah So is so slow and stupid in playing mahjong.

Please give me a chance to play with you.

Mahjong playing, what do you think?

In cash.

I may lend you.

Mahjong playing?

Why don't you make it earlier?

Taiwan style, maximum 3 winners, complicated rules, you know?

Sure!

Make it $300 base, $60 per fold.

Make it 32 rounds.

This suits you!

Coffin.

Win!

3 in a king...

...74 folds.

106 folds.

Dad! Mom!

Good Coffin!

3 Hookers, it suits you.

I want it.

Yuen Kwan is so pure.

You lack this!

Bird! (Dick)

Bingo!

8 and 1/2 pairs!

Let me count...

- 34 folds - 46 folds.

Congratulation!

You are too lucky

to be a beginner.

We're really lucky!

It's my pleasure!

What are you doing?

Since you are losing, eat this.

Bad temper!

You love this, I guess.

- Bingo! - Bingo!

Maximum 3 winners! Let me count...

- 6 folds. - 7 folds

I'll pay you later for I've no cash.

You deserve it!

Let's side bet. 5000.

We Play too!

No, it's our feud.

I can afford it

I'll win in double.

I know you want it.

Four in a king, pay me.

I'll pay later.

Curse you!

Bingo!

I've got it.

Bitch, you are so cruel to have all!

Ching! Are you off?

Are you crazy? It's only 3°C!

This is bought by you.

It's warm!

Miss, please give me a penny.

Have it on.

Thank you.

Taxi!

Don't go until the door's shut.

Sister-in-law...

Where are you going? Who are you?

Oh! It's you, Mr. Chan!

$120,000 with discount.

I want this please.

For your wife again?

Sure.

You are too good to your wife!

Sure.

It's too lucky to marry you.

Sure.

Like it?

Why do you send me so precious present?

Today is our separation anniversary.

What do you want, Sir?

The chef recommends Boston lobsters.

I want fried-rice plus an egg.

Make it tow.

Yes sir.

I want some music.

Right away!

Music is coming.

Take it back please.

Why?

I don't know why.

In the past, I worked hard and waited for my husband.

Now I am your lover.

You leave your wife and stay with me.

Actually I..

Go back as soon as possible after this dinner.

Your wife is suffering waiting.

I've experienced.

It's hard feeling.

Come back! We all need you.

Dad and Mom will celebrate their 80th birthday few days later.

I hope you'll come.

"I believe in love."

"How many perfect lovers in this world?"

Stop please...

I've practiced this song especially for you.

What do you think?

It's horrible! Stop it, OK?

I'm sorry! Sorry!

What's the matter?

I love it.

Are you coming to teach that idiot a lesson?

No, I resign.

I want to leave HK which made me sad.

I want to see Foon Foon for the last time.

Holliyok!

Holliyok!

Holliyok! Don't go!

Help!

Over there!

Look

I made this

I made this...

For you

It's almost finished.

Oh blood!

Foon!

See everyone,

She knows how to use "The Double Inverted Eiffel Tower Kissing Technique".

And she helped flushing large amount of blood to my brain.

So, can I be cured?

Until now, I think you'll guess it.

What are you doing?

It's mask! It's expensive.!

Why are you that late?

Hag!

Why do you buy so many things?

Your parents are not fair.

She bought new clothes for your brother and cousin Mo-Shang

So I buy an expensive one for myself or I'll lose face.

Shower first.

I'll have a look myself in the mirror.

Are you kidding?

I see myself now.

Thank you... Help yourself.

Don't sit like a stone!

Serve the guests!

Shang Moon.

You dress so formally!

Am I pretty?

Dad and Mom are over there.

Mr. Shang!

Are you playing magic tonight?

Are you having sexy dance tonight?

Congratulation...

Please give way...

Sorry...

Happy birthday, dad and mom.

Have a red pocket.

Be good.

Happy birthday, cousin.

Have my red pocket, be good.

Thank you, don't bother us.

Sorry!

Are you the nurse Miss Wong?

Actually my name is Ho.

Where are uncle and auntie?

They are over there.

Uncle, auntie, happy birthday.

Have a red pocket.

Be good.

No! It's too kind of you

Take it, we are family.

That's right! Thank you.

Foon recovers because of you.

Has Foon recovered?

He is surrounded by girls now.

Oh, I think he recovers.

You lose, drink it.

OK, just a little bit.

Foon, you promised to bring me to Paris.

- Really? - Yeah.

You promised to take me to Bali!

Bali?

You promised to take me to Spain.

No! You promised to marry me.

Kidding?

No problem!

But you'd wait till I get another brain disease.

Are you OK? Foon!

I'm fine!

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

He is mad again.

He is mad again.

I don't want him.

Foon“.

- Are you OK? - Excuse me.

Nurse, take him up and take care of him.

I'll serve the guest.

Don't let the old know it.

Don't shout! Don't let the old worry...

Don't shout! Don't let the old worry...

Otherwise there's a big trouble!

Even I'm mad, you'll stay with me.

Are you serious?

I am.

Are you crazy?

Not this time.

I mean I really love you.

Holliyok!

Shut up!

I'll never trust you again.

You can't give me sense of security!

Safety?

What is it?

Is your Yuen Kwan coming to celebrate your parent's birthday?

Where is she?

She'd dress up!

She is different from you,

you've never wore a dress.

Is your thigh tattooed?

You don't seem to be a man even you water trousers!

Ah So, Ah So...

Yuen Kwan!

You look much more beautiful!

- You too. - Thank you.

Let me introduce.

She is the Auntie Mo-Shang I always mention.

Oh, you are so young!

But an old heart! She is still single.

Ka Ming!

Cousin Mo-Shang!

Cousin Mo-Shang!

You grow taller! Smarter too!

You too.

He is my nephew.

He is my Ka Ming.

Hello.

- Are you hungry? - Are you hungry?

A little...

Come and eat something.

Feed him with milk.

Go.

Would you tidy up?

Do it yourself if you want to.

Hi.

I'll go after leaving this gift.

Sister-in-law.

Ah So!

You look beautiful!

You are sparkling.

Dad and mom are over there.

Sister-in-law is back.

Father-in-law...

Oh... uncle, auntie.

Why do you leave so long for vacation?

Give you a red pocket, be good!

Born a baby for us.

I can't control!

I'd leave now.

Leaf? Ask the maid to give you some.

The maid is like a stone!

Moon, ask the maid serve us wine.

Hey, penalty kick!

I have to go to work now.

You want to go?

But it's wise of you,

He loves me more.

He brush you off because he loves me.

Anyway,

you are the hag now, not me.

I've not been a hag for a long time.

Housewife is such a difficult job.

I suggest you to quit as soon as possible.

Honey...

Your honey is over there.

Go and chase her.

Not necessary, She'll be back soon.

Leave now!

What?

It's me who do the cleaning!

The window, the toilet, even the old bluffer's bodies!

Now you ask me to leave?

OK, I'll leave.

You treated me as pearl when you were courting me.

You treat me as shit when I become your wife!

OK, I'll go to become other's concubine now.

We don't care.

Remember, it's me who brush you off.

I quit!

Because your whole family

totally mad!

Shelia!

Ah So, you...

Ask yourself.

After seeing them,

I feel lucky.

Ka Ming, we are old enough...

We'd decide something.

Mo-Shang, you're really understand me.

You know what I'm thinking.

Ka Ming.

I come here with one purpose.

I want to announce something.

I want to marry with my beloved woman.

- Congratulation. - Thanks, same to you.

My fiance...

Yuen Kwan.

Ka Ming.

Yuen Kwan.

It's too touching!

Too fortunate

Come earlier for the wedding

Don't give too expensive present.

Help yourself!

It's all finished! What a tragedy!

Come early!

Penalty kick again.

That's too great!

They really match!

Yes.

She is too bad!

No wonder she said I was handsome.

That's I know already!

Big tits mean lustful!

Bitch!

She'll be whore in future.

Now, she tempted my man.

Your man is too bad either.

He is too tall!

Well, I'll chop him!

Chop him!

Actually you acted quite decent.

This is my home!

I can't make my parents lose face.

You acted good too!

I should have done this

Actually you are quite nice.

I've never thought you bad...

Do you remember...

In the kitchen...

Does my costume make you feel safe?

"The Lunatics"

No!

No, It's Anglo...

It must be Arnold!

Yes.

"Terminator"

I come to fight for our future.

I've set the program in my computer.

1st, we will get married in a church.

And enjoy of 1st night.

We'll have babies.

I'll be a good family man.

I only love you for the rest of my life.

But you'd promise me one more thing.

Anything you say!

Your hair!

Well, this is just one style.

You don't like it? I'll wash it!

That's too great! Promise me.

Keep this hairstyle forever, OK?

I've found someone who appreciate it!

Thanks.

Get on!

Great!

Come on. Don't be shy!

The guests are all gone!

We've done that for a long time.

Big brother.

You two...

we've fixed it. And how about you?

Ask sister-in-law to come back.

What did you say? Sister-in-law?

Who is your sister-in-law?

You are late, some guests are waiting.

Go now.

Why you are here?

Daughter-in-law.

I've never bought her for

Night life.

So I bring her here, the Ka-la-ok.

It's Karaoke.

Alan Tam said Ka-la-ok!

I'm OK!

Come back.

Our home is in a mass now.

Yeah, we lost our direction.

We haven't left our home for years.

Don't make us go home with empty hands.

We all want you to come back.

Not all, but just you 2 want me back

What? They've all come.

Hi...

May I know your name?

Who are you looking for?

I am Ching.

You are sister-in-law?

You are so beautiful!

I'm Foon.

She is my woman, Yok.

How are you?

What happened to your hair?

This is the costume of

Schwarzen-lager!

Schwarzenegger!

Hi.

What's your name?

Ching!

Auntie, it's you.

Sorry.

Ah So, what are you doing? You changed!

It's the magic of love.

Ah...

What?

Hi!

What song do you like? I'll arrange it.

Let's have the song you used to sing at home. Big Brother!

She'll like it.

No use, I've tried once,

but she gave no response.

Ah So, go and sing!

Oh no! I've just changed to man's voice.

I can't sing that key.

Well. I'll be do if for you.

Don't lose our face.

Yes, ma'am!

Where did she come from, what dialect they speak?

OK!

On behalf of my brother, I dedicate this song to my sister-in-law.

Sit!

Please pay attention to the lyrics.

(Min Nan dialect) "I'm afraid of love and not being loved."

"May I ask how many faithful girl are there in this world?"

"We get to know each other. I live together and we owe each other."

"I'm tired of romances."

"Don't want to fall in love easily."

"We're both broken hearts,"

"walking through this path of melancholy."

"Maybe you needn't know who I am."

"I don't want to"

"make you hesitate."

"We're both broken hearts."

"Though we meet, we don't have to know each other"

"Maybe you needn't know who I am."

"I don't want to"

"make you cry again."

I'd leave now.

Honey!

Don't call me that!

Being mistress is better than being wife.

You are my wife!

I've decided to divorce with you.

I won't sign it! I won't divorce.

It doesn't matter

since I don't love you anymore!

When I was your wife, you neglected me.

Now I leave, you object.

What do you want me to do?

"We are broken hearts,"

"We don't have to know each other."

"I don't want to"

"make you cry again."

"Leave it to me"

"and treasure this romance."

"Maybe one day,"

"let me love once more."

Hey! Hey! Stop!

Gosh...

If I knew how difficult to get a cab,

I shouldn't have done this

Hello? Please stop, stop...

Damn

Let me use all my charms!

Who told me to kidnap the billionaire?!

He's been on a vacation abroad!

Now we'll even lose the gasoline money!

Hi!

Wow, Mrs. Shang!

Eep!

Who?

Mrs. Shang

Aha

Capo, since we cannot do a big business,

let's do a small one

Hahaha...

My charm really helps

Hi!

Hah

Excuse me

Could you give me a ride to Tsim Sha Tsui?

You're so welcome. It's kidnap.

Eek! Help, help!

Just rob the money, don't rape

It's so late. Where has she gone?

Maybe she's just at the movies

What if she's not?

Hong Kong is such a small place

You're too naive

- Help, help! - Get in here, bitch!

- You touched my boobs - Come on!

Oh no! They caught my wife!

Revenge never ends!

So what do we do?

Just cover the face, dick!

- Here you go. Hurry up! - OK ok

Be quick

Uh-uh...

- Don't move, bitch! - Shut up!

Bitch, look at your fat legs!

I've already lost my weight

Capo, someone is coming after us!

Stop! We're the Kings of Freeway!

What do you want?!

We are stealing your goal!

What? Go to hell!

Huh? Gotta be kidding me!

Ouch!

Hey, are you mad?

The car is mine!

Oh come on, so is your wife!

You'd give her up? Kidding me?

Of course not!

Ah...

Stop! Stop!

Hey, pull over there!

Back off! My turn

God damn it!

Over there!

Look! Hurry up!

Get off!

- Be gentle please! - Get your guns and shoot them!

OK

Be careful! My dress is expensive!

OK

Where are we going?

Brother, they have guns!

I can give up my life for love!

Stop!

Go to hell!

Aah!

Be careful...

Take her away!

Honey!

Ah So, bravo!

Can you teach me that?

Stunts of Shang Family, don't you know that?

- Really? - Now go get her!

- Go! - Alright

Capo, now what?

Shit. Just take her away!

Aah...

- Now what? - Gotta go...

Hey, sister-in-law, you okay?

Get her down here

Oh yes

There. Go get them.

Wow, such a big team

Stop!

Can we do this next time?

Bang bang bang!

Shiu...

Freeze!

Hey man, what's up?

"A Better Tomorrow"!

Oh, she's over there

Where?

I can't get rid of this...

- Over there - Wait!

Ouch, it's painful. Am I drunk again?

Maybe yes

- Sister-in-law! - Sister-in-law!

Sister-in-law

Sister-in-law

Ah So? Foon?

Honey!

Hubby!

Let's join together.

Bravo!

"Let's sing happily together"

"for all's well end's well"

"Happy"

"and fortunate."

Wish you get rich!

You

disappoint me!

Wait a minute...

I guess from your voice...

I think you...

Wait...

This is clone in my floral arrangement class

For you.

Are you hungry?

A little...

Feed him with milk!

Wrong time.

This is...

This is...

This is...

Are you crazy?

Not this time.

I've to serve those 2 old...