Original subtitles

Get out!

What happened?

We just got fired. We did?

Hey, I don't like that guy's attitude.

All I did was pick up one little box.

And it had ten other boxes full of dishes

right on top of it. You nitwit!

What are we going to do now?

Find another job. We gotta eat, don't we?

Yes, that's true, yes. We gotta...

All right, all right. We can take a hint.

Yes, here. Let's go.

Just on account of a buck!

Wait a minute.

See that sign? Who's smokin'?

What do you think of this lad as a dishwasher?

I can recommend him very highly.

Come on!

- Dishwashers! - How stupid can you be?

Get out! Get out!

Moe, I think we got fired again.

Brilliant! We...

Ah!

I'll kill you! I'll murder you!

Come on! Come on!

Out of the way!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Up here!

I'll murder you, you little tramps!

How do you do, gentlemen?

Oh, uh, how do you do? I'm so glad to see you.

You came in answer to my advertisement, of course?

Huh? What?

Why, of course. Certainly.

Good. When do you want to commence?

Commence? Why, why, anytime.

Splendid. This way, please.

Oh, well.

Gentlemen, this is your instructor, Miss Beebe.

- Hi, Miss Buckshot. - And now then,

there will be a small tuition fee of $5 apiece.

Ha! Not interested.

Moe!

What's the matter? George Washington...

Washington! Oh, uh, on second thought,

I'm quite interested. What was that fee?

Five dollars apiece or three for 25.

A rare bargain. We'll take the three.

How much money have you got? I've only got two bucks.

Good. How much money have you got?

Well, I left the house this morning I didn't...

There. You got two dollars.

We only have $4. I'll take it!

Uh, gentlemen, if you study very hard,

you'll receive your diplomas in one week.

Pardon me. He said diplomas. For what?

For what? That's a good one.

That's a good one.

You're going to be dentists. Oh.

Dentists! Dentists?

Oh, hi, doc.

Hi, doc. Congratulations, doctor.

How are you, doctor?

I see it all. Say, doc. Can you see that tooth?

Yes. That's funny, I can't.

Here, I'll show it to you. Wait a minute,

I was only kidding. Wait, no wait!

Please, gentlemen! Anesthetic!

Gentlemen, please!

You haven't got your diplomas yet!

Oh, lucky guy.

Hey, ain't those choppers done yet?

No, they gotta cook a little longer.

Twenty minutes to the pound, you know.

Well, today's graduation day.

Are you ready for your diploma?

Oh, sure, sure. We gotta set of uppers and lowers

in there that'll knock the doc's eye out.

And when he sees 'em, he'll graduate us with honors.

The other students turned theirs in yesterday.

I wouldn't want you to fail, you know, sweet.

Ain't she gorgeous?

What's the matter with him?

He's been standing too close to that oven.

Come on, are those choppers done yet?

I'll see.

They're done.

All right. Put 'em down.

Ain't it beautiful?

It's alive.

You're crazy. It can't be alive. Go on, pick it up.

I don't want to... Go on, pick it up.

I told you it's alive. What's going on here?

Ah!

That's all. Wait a minute.

You made that monster, now pick it up.

But, Moe, I'm afraid to. You heard me. Pick it up!

Oh!

Moe, I can't do a thing with it.

Hey, teeth, look.

Hey, we'll all sneak up on him together.

♪ Bum, bum, bum, bum ♪

♪ I made a lucky strike When I found you ♪

♪ Bum, bum, bum, bum ♪

♪ The girl of my dreams ♪

Hey, hey. One of you guys is flat.

It's him.

Come here, you. I said pick that thing up!

It's your baby. No, I don't want to, Moe.

Go on! Ow! Ow! Ow, let go!

Ow! Ow, let go!

He made that freak thing. Let him suffer.

Ow! Ow! Let go!

Let go of me!

Let... Ow! Moe!

Oh! Help! Help! Hey, fellas!

Help! Hey, fellas! Oh!

Wait a minute. Hold him here.

I'll get it, Shemp, watch him.

Wait a minute. I'll knock it off.

No, no, no, no! Hold him, Larry that's it.

Hold it! Oh!

Boy, did I knock that thing off,

or did I knock it off? I'll say!

Yeah, and you knocked it off. Why, you!

Moe, Moe, Moe, no, no! Ow! Ow!

Moe, don't!

Hey!

Ah, gentlemen.

You are just in time to receive your diplomas!

Did you bring your sample denture?

Oh, about the sample dentures, doc...

It's a mighty long story.

And I was tellin' the lads "Boys, you better..."

Well, in fact,

here they are now, doc.

Why, they're beautiful.

Oh, thank you. Sorry we're a little late.

Better late than never. Oh, thank you.

And now, gentlemen, it is time to take you out into the world.

Most of you have done well here.

Others, I'm sorry to say, have not done quite so well.

In fact, in this class,

there have been some who have been so clumsy,

so lazy and so stupid,

I will not embarrass them by mentioning their names!

Oh, gee, thanks, doc.

You're a great guy.

Some day we'll do something big for you, doc.

Boys, will you just do me a favor?

Yes. Go somewhere far away

to practice. Remember what Horace Greeley said?

"Don't give up the ship." No.

He said "Go west, young man, go west."

That's a hint, go west.

Oh!

Whew!

Boy, this is a lot of work moving in.

All right, you guys. Come on, step on it.

We haven't got all day. Here, Larry,

put this sign up and put it where people will see it.

Come on. Let's get straightened up around here.

Moe, I hope everything goes all right.

What do you mean, "goes all right?"

You went to dental school. Yeah.

That whole week wasn't wasted, was it?

No. And you got a diploma.

That's right, it cost me four bits extra.

- So what's all the... - Step right this way.

Oh! I have a patient for you.

Be with you in a minute. That'll be $2, please.

Oh!

Oh, doctor, the patient. Yes, I'm right here.

Right here. Well, sit right down.

Sit right down. Hey, hey, hey.

That's the patient. Come here.

Now, make yourself nice and comfortable.

That's it, right back like that. There we are.

Easy now. Just put it around... Open your mouth, please.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

There's the patient.

Oh, he's got a filling.

Up here.

Open your mouth. Wider.

There's the mouth.

Oh, yeah, he's got that

Save that for later, pal. You'll need it.

Doctor, here's your drill. Well...

Doc. There, there. Yes? Oh, yes.

Are you comfortable?

- No. - Who asked you?

All right, we'll go to work now on him.

Hey, the head's up there.

Oh, yeah.

Easy now. The mouth is in the front.

Oh, they moved it, huh?

Hold steady, kid. Hold steady.

Hold steady. Where's the handle to the thing?

Oh, I got it. All right, kid.

Hold it! Hold it!

Where is that thing? There you are.

All right. Now, wait a minute.

Water! Water?

Easy, that's it.

All right, I'll just wipe it off. It's just a little...

What are you... Are you wearing gloves?

Hold your hand down here, kid.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait, doc.

Easy, easy, easy. All right.

There you are. There you are.

Here, here, here. Over here.

Attaboy. I hear a noise.

Ah!

What is he? A flounder? I don't know what he is.

Wait a minute. Who recommended this patient?

Get a drill, get a drill, doc.

Here he is, doc. All right.

That didn't hurt a bit, did it?

I thought not.

This won't hurt either.

Easy now. Easy, kid. Easy.

Hey, hold still now.

Here, come back here.

Where is he?

Here he is, right here.

What happened here?

Please, relax. Please, you're fighting me.

Hold it, let go of me.

Well!

That's got it. Drill.

Let's see what's next.

Here you are. Oh, yes.

Page 50.

What do you know.

After you drill a tooth, you're supposed to fill it.

Where's the dentist? There he is.

Oh, I gotta tooth that's killing me,

and you gotta take it out.

Sorry, but this gentleman was here first.

Oh, he was, was he?

Now I'm first.

Take it out. Yes, if you'll just...

Just a minute.

Do you know what happened

to the last dentist that worked on me?

No, sir. He struck a nerve.

That's him there. Notch number nine. Hold it.

Yeah? Where are you going?

I'm just taking a shortcut to the bowl.

You can sit right down in the chair.

Yeah, sit right down here.

You'd better be darn sure you're right with this bird,

or you'll be notch number ten. Yeah. Yeah.

What's the matter? You nervous? Just in the left arm.

"A good tooth will give off a clear ringing sound

when struck by a metal object."

There you are. That's very simple.

Metal object. Metal object.

Metal object. Metal object.

- Ammerhay. - Ammerhay.

Ammerhay. Ammerhay.

All right.

The patient's yours, doctor. Yes, sir.

Open, please.

I think he found it.

I think we'd better give him a whiff of gas.

Yeah.

Cotton.

Pardon me. Mm.

Now, count to 90. One...

What's next? Now, let's see.

Page 50, it says,

"The next step is to sandpaper the chest."

Wait a minute. Let me see that.

"The next step is to sandpaper the chest."

Must be something new in dentistry. Okay, doc.

Sandpaper.

Oh!

Hey, be careful of his tattoo.

He had a tattoo?

Hey fellows, listen to this.

It says, "Then you varnish the lid."

Varnish? Lid?

Varnish. Varnish.

"You take one nail and put it through the one by two,

"drive it in, and then make sure

"it's a finishing nail so you can put putty

"on the head of it.

Then you take a hasp and you..."

Pardon me, what's the name of this book you're reading?

You know, The Amateur Carpenter.

Moe, I'm sorry.

That's all right.

It's a very understandable mistake, my dear chap.

What are you doing?

Now, don't make anymore mistakes.

I'm gonna look. I can't...

Pliers! Pliers, yes.

All right, open his mouth.

I got it. I got it!

You got the wrong tooth!

Whoa!