All language subtitles for The Professionals - 4x15 - Its Only A Beautiful Picture

Hurry it up, woman.

Our customers are particular
about what they're buying.

They like to see where it comes from.

Get them right, Snapper.

When did Cowley become an art lover?

When he saw his first pound note.

Yeah, and why send us here?

Improve our minds, he said.

Well, with yours, he's got
plenty of room to manoeuvre.

Beautiful women and
free champagne, eh, Tipsy?

The only game in town.

Blame it on a liberal education.

I can't believe these prices, you
know. We're in the wrong business, Dor.

Yeah, I know.

Should have been artistic.

Could have copped for some
of the loose living as well.

I hope your new process is as good as you
say. It cost enough money to develop it.

I just hope we can keep it
away from our competitors.

Double the security patrols, and pray.

Why stretch him?

This is only some 4.0 steel design phone.

We want to look at their itchings.

Rather badly.

Now, just do your job, little man.

Take the photographs.

Earn your ten grand.

Thank you.

It was never like this at art galleries.

And I complained.

You didn't like the steelworks, either.

What are we supposed to be working on?

Huh? That's a pallid in-tray for Cowley.

I'd rather have a real job.

Yeah, a pension policy, you are.

Okay.

Who was it said inspiration is
nine-tenths perspiration? Last year's Derby winner.

I hardly think so, Bodie.

The bookies, maybe.

Cowley here. Tell the
gentleman from the Ministry I'll

be with him directly at the
tech laboratory. Over and out.

I hope you don't suffer from hay
fever or anything of that sort.

A lot of the lab staff bring their
sandwiches in here for relaxation.

The flowers, you know.

Makes a change from looking at rock
samples and oil under microscopes.

The minister wanted me to have a
full and frank exchange of views.

Which means telling
each other half the truth.

With a sincere smile, naturally.

He sent the right man.

He did ask me for a
thorough and urgent report.

As soon as available.

You've read the file?

Avidly.

And?

They're operative.

Boldy and Doyle.

You know the sort of work we do here.

They'd better be very good.

I don't count your paperclips,
Henry. Don't start counting mine.

You have read the reports from six
specialist law enforcement agencies.

All the various squads, all from
the men at the top, all helpless,

against some very clever
gentlemen specializing

in art treasures and
new industrial processes.

Last week, the Orkenhurst Chalice.

Last night, the Billings Argensmelter.

And this week it could be
here, straight and full.

This department. And you're nervous.

So am I.

The usual Mickey Mouse flight
plan, Zipsey. Straight drop and back.

And the cargo manifest
shows you one crate over.

So I make the usual fuss
and have to bring it back.

But not until they've looked at it.

Well, it's easier to annoy customs
with inefficiency rather than bribe them.

All we need is an
examine case with seals on it,

and Sarah can juggle the paperwork
for the next trip with the chalice.

Work a switch.

The Belgians don't
like opening cases twice.

So they won't bother. The whole
world runs on routine, Tibsy.

Thank God.

What about the steel process papers?

The customers play rough.

I've organized a special delivery
arrangement for those on my side of the fence.

Police checked security.

Somebody from some
bloody ministry checked it.

They still got through
an alarm fence, laid two

guards out, killed
Higgins, and got us a droid.

Any guesses?

These Germans are
working on a process like us.

They don't like competition
unless they voted for it. Yeah,

or used a blunt instrument.

One of the guards heard them. This
lot were English. One yokel, he said.

Yeah, some yokel.

Thanks.

East Germans.

Well, there goes another urgent
consignment for the diplomatic pouch. Yeah,

with security waving and
saying, have a nice trip.

The minister calls it Operation Colander.

Why? Because goodies are
leaking from every hole.

Oh, very witty.

He's not pleased. Nor am I. Nor are the
bosses of the special squads involved.

Somebody set up a supermarket to get
rid of the cream of thieving to order.

Art and industry, small and selective.

The cream's thick enough
to make murder incidental.

Look at the figures.

The Alcon Nurse Chalice.
What was that, 200,000?

More on the private market.

Had to be to get through laser alarms.

I can't get worked up
about some sex and pot,

but it's a smelting prototype
really worth half a million.

That's the taxpayers'
research money that went into it.

And a guard was killed
to lift the details.

A word from you about
Undermannington, please, authority colonel.

And perhaps in the chief constable's ear.

Both easily done. I've
been more than glad to.

God knows I don't mind
gypsies living off the land.

But they've damn near
stripped my bottom orchard,

and I don't give much chance for a
decent partridge season this year.

Yes, well, we're doing our best.

It's all right, all right. I know
you've got all patrols on overtime.

The gyps can smell a pound of
Carl Three Valley Fields away.

Oh, well, at least I've got
Armitage and that dog of his.

Another deterrent I'd like to
face. It's still a bit mush, though.

The whole country's riddled with petty
dishonesty and drunkards on the dole.

All right, I'll write
those letters this afternoon.

I'd better go and
pacify the civil servants.

And us?

You caught two
small-timers the other day with rolls

of classified
electronics under their arms.

They said they'd been told what to
steal. Half-hundred weight of paper.

With the usual deposit from a man in a
pub who gave them time, place, master keys.

Here it is. They tried
to do it on the cheap.

Without a photographer to reduce
the drawings to a manageable size.

Not like the seal works.

We might not be as lucky
next time, or as well informed.

Time to close the
unfriendly neighborhood supermarket.

So, we're looking for a
photographer first, aren't we? Right.

Let's check the porno picture list,
eh? See who's gone up in the world.

She was swapping skin flicks for steel.

Karen, here.

When do you want this dummy
manifest for the Alkenhurst chalice dated?

Tomorrow.

The sooner the better,
while Tibsy is still supposed

to be indignant about our paperwork.

Yes, I could swing across to Geneva and
bank last month's takings at the same time.

Never confuse movement with action, Tibsy.

Hemingway should have
taught you that at Sandhurst.

One objective at a time.

Oh, and Armitage. I think we'd be
better off with a new photographer.

Go and look up the old
one and itemise him.

Ask him for his resignation, as you were.

Yes.

Permanently.

What a turn off.

It's your idea.

You can put exotic dances on your
expenses. I'll put it down as technical research.

I suspect there's not a
meeting made in sight, see?

They're all in the
betting shops, aren't they?

Look, Charlie, CI5 have done the Vice
Squad plenty of favours, all clean ones. Now,

you keep trying for us, eh?

Who?

Snapper Allman, used to work for
the Orinoco Club. Yeah, I got you.

Thanks.

There's depravity everywhere.

Charles, I know the minister's agitated.
He's been rattling the telephone in my ear.

Now, please don't quote tired facts at
me. I've just been quoting them at Cowley.

Processes worth millions, all stolen.

Yes, I've read your
probability study. Yes,

the next most feasible and vulnerable
area for these thieves is oil technology.

My department.

It's my responsibility,
especially straighten four.

And Charles, the next time you have
a happy thought, don't pass it on.

Bar parlor pewter.

And now it is a unique Anglo-Saxon relic.

I wonder why the client
should want to pay nearly

a quarter of a million pounds for that,

even once he'd seen the
photographs of origin.

So that he can gloat over it in
private, in Geneva, in a bank vault.

Haven't you ever
gloated in private, darling?

Not in a bank vault.

You could do that.

If somebody left you an oil well.

We've never really looked at oil, have we?

Afternoon.

Oh, they've all got clothes on.

Never mind. Wait till you
see the private collection.

You know, if someone had told me, I'd
have got tired of the female anatomy.

I'd have laughed.

Yeah, you know that last one back there?

Yeah. Yeah, the
original sister in Portside.

I hope we get lucky this time.
I'm losing my appetite, you know.

New job suiting you, Mr. Armand?

Well, it's a bit dodgy sometimes. It's
the geezers I'm working with, mainly.

Very regulation.

Almost military, you
could say. Not like the

crowd down the Orinoco
Club. Hello, snapper.

Seen any good indecent exposures lately?

We have.

Who are you?

Complaint from the passport office.

Get lost.

Oh, it's the old Wembley two-step.

Yeah, corrugate your shins, will you?

Call him off, snapper,
or I'll be wearing that

tripod round his neck.
Wait a minute, Burs.

Down in Burlington Street,
they're getting very beady about bias,

reckon you've gone industrial.

Yeah, you know,
engineers' drawings, steelworks.

It's all right, Purse. You sure? Yeah.

What do you want?

Oh, yeah, it's...

It's about my niece's wedding group.

You made Uncle Albert
look bald. Who are you?

You the buttons? Oh,
be fair, Snapper. Hey,

do we look like members of
Her Majesty's Constabulary?

No. Well, there you are, then.

You must have a guilty conscience.
Do you want a drink? Please, mate.

Do you fancy being an accessories lover?

That was convincing, darling. Thank you.

This is Herr Dr. Ebert.

Delighted to meet you, Herr Doctor.

The document should have been
delivered to Germany, Colonel, by you,

not risked to a diplomatic pouch at
my culpability and inconvenience.

Last time I delivered, I
didn't like my reception much.

Machine pistols flying
and arguments about money.

I was cheated.

Elementary strategy. Never
take the same risk twice.

So, I picked home ground.

Among friends.

Money all right, Sarah? Yes.

In the currencies you requested.

Pay me for it?

No.

I thought not.

Drawings all right?

As per order and specification.

Good.

I go back to my game, then.

I would like to say it's been a
pleasure doing business with you, Colonel,

but I prefer not to be hypocritical.

I'm in it for the money, Herr Doctor,
not for the sunshine of your smile.

Start searching diplomatic
pouches, particularly East German ones,

on the works manager's advice. Oh, that
would be diplomatically most embarrassing.

Or an incident resulting only
in strongly worded letters.

Which would you rather have, a
red face and writer's cramp,

or details of the smelting process
back? That's for the politicians to decide.

It always is, Henry, it always
is. I'll make a telephone call.

I hope the exertion doesn't tell on you.

What's your department doing, Cowley?

What it can, Henry.

Don't give us any ancient moody
about some Samaritan you met in a pub.

Yeah, just give us a for instance,
will you? Why should I tell you anything?

You know why, snapper. They could be the
next people to walk through that door,

and if you saw them do it, they will be.

One of them made a phone
call to his boss once.

From this place we were turning over.

I only managed to get
the first five figures.

Uh, nought, five. Just write it
on the back of that, will you?

Big clear hand.

Leave that alone. That's 600 quid's worth.

You won't be needing that.

The colonel said to ask for your
resignation. That's interesting.

Photographs and memories forever.

I hope you've got
plenty of snaps of yourself.

You must have the wrong number.

I would recommend that you try
one of the large department stores.

Yes?

You know us.

Here is my authority to inquire. It
should come through messenger channels.

Channels of the hovercraft.

Listen, what are the
numbers 0, 5, 7, 3, 6 mean

to you? Easy. The Felby
area. One digit missing.

Great, thanks. By the way...

Mr Cowley already has a full
computer printout of the possible

permutations of that
number and its subscribers.

He's in the computer
room now. Wants to see you.

Yes, he would.

Yes, Minister, I'm aware that the
whole matter is very sensitive.

Yes, Minister, it will
be treated accordingly.

Very good, sir.

Tiptoe through those customary tulips.

Ah, gentlemen.

Are you still serious about becoming
office boys? We're only trying to help. Yeah,

the switchboard, flashing lights.

It's easier to delegate.

The Felby number you were given
works out at a list of ten subscribers.

Including an establishment for
cream teas? That's that sort of term.

You will check all the numbers.

I don't think we have to look any
further than this Colonel Sangster, do we?

He's tailor-made for it. Oh, I agree.

Import-export agency, legitimate airplane.

A very high telephone bill,
attached to Leningrad, Geneva, and so on,

mainly about antiques. Why
don't we just lift him, then?

A small item called proof, Bodie.

Hard to find against a man with
considerable standing in the area.

Bridge with the Lord Lieutenant.
Golf with the Chief Constable.

Here.

Look at his war record.
He's bloodthirsty, isn't he?

He was in military intelligence.

Possibly still is on
the private grapevine.

Yeah, the minister won't
be too pleased with that.

Ah, well, we could wear our clean
shirts if you thought he was sensitive.

Certainly not your usual brass knuckles.

Here, look at Sangster's record
again, if you please. You're outclassed.

He was hijacking and stealing and killing
for highly patriotic reasons, of course,

when you were in your cradles.

All the jobs in recent files show
that he hasn't slipped in any way.

No wonder the special
squads can't catch him.

Gentlemen, we're up
against a fellow professional.

Oh, when you've checked through this
stuff, I'll see you at my club at lunchtime.

The club?

You're looking pleased with yourself?

First post was a cryptic confirmation
of the Alkenhurst chalice payments.

I always enjoy the results of
putting sound theory into practice.

Choose and restrict
operations, reconnoiter them,

worship simplicity and remote
control, leave as few traces as possible.

On that, where the hell's Armitage?

Shouldn't take him this long
to itemize one photographer.

You know, when I first met you,

I thought you were one of
the usual weekend wonders.

Good for a magnum at
the bedside and possibly

a shopping spree in the south
of France, and then goodbye.

And now you're independently wealthy.

Hmm, seems rather immoral, really.

Oh, Sarah, my love, the moment you even
start thinking about morality, you're lost.

Copy politicians. They sign
papers, gather millions, and men die.

Emulate them.

I thought we were doing.

So we are, in our way.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Are you members?

It's all right, Smithson. They're with me.

Very good, Major Cowley.

The minister's asked me to observe
eaves from asparagus and fresh seed trout.

I trust that'll be in order. For two.

Very much so. For two. We'll grab a
sausage sandwich at Nellie's Cafe.

If you've got time.

Homework done,
gentlemen? Yes, well done, sir.

Sit you down.

So, what'll the local police
think about this Colonel Sangster?

Respectful.

He's clean and shining and influential.

I think they're a wee
bit frightened of them.

You know how these small communities are.

Not much help, then.

Unless it's from the inside.

You were in the
police, weren't you, Dolan?

Yeah, a long time, and a lot
of footsore pavements ago.

You've just rejoined.

What? At the sign of the
old blue lantern. Can't wait.

Oh, no. On the inside at Philby.

Your rank is detective
sergeant. You're secondly to Philby.

Oh, Jack, what a thrill
you'll be able to arrest all

those nasty motorists,
won't you? Shut up, you.

Listen, sir, I'm well out of
practice with police work.

You'll remember.

You report to Chief
Superintendent David Gillespie.

Close to retirement, but
a hard man all the same.

Also a close friend of the Colonel.

I've had this report on you sent to him.

You used to be with B Division.

Detective Sergeant Doyle is sloppy,
careless of routine, insubordinate,

and should work under close
supervision at all times. Thanks very much.

A report like that, I shall be
scrubbing the ablution floor.

And worse. Doyle, you're going to
fail me to pick brains, shuffle files,

find out what's been missed or covered up.

What's the point of you
going down there as Dick Daring,

the brightest star of Scotland Yard? I
want you kept off the real work. Yes, sir.

At no time will you get
in touch with this office.

All contact will be through Bodie.

Ostensibly, he'll be in
sugar beet machinery.

Oh, I hope you feel well trapped.

Incidentally, your
squeaky photographer's dead.

So that's one witness we won't
be able to put on the stand,

even under the Official Secrets Act.

I'd better take your gun
back to armoury, Doyle.

There's one up the spout.

Thank you.

You're a respectable policeman, though.

Morning, Constable.

The minister tells me
you're seeking special powers.

We've always had special
powers, Henry. I was being specific.

He said unorthodox.

He wants to think about it.

Ministers can never think after a good
lunch interferes with their digestion.

Well, I don't think I can quite
trust you, Cowley. You don't have to.

Just a faith in the results.

We're 20% undermanned, and
they send us Ragtime Cowboy Joe.

Detective Sergeant Doyle.

Give him the chance, Harry.

Thanks, R.I.T.

Sloppy, and careless of routine.

I'll keep one foot on his
neck, not far from his backside.

Chief, what use will he be
when the itinerant labourers

come in and start
smashing up the pub gardens?

He'll probably give them a hand. It
is only for six weeks, Inspector.

To broaden his experience.

I'll broaden it for him.
He'll go to sleep dreaming

of city lights and wake
up wishing he was back.

Detective Sergeant Doyle
reporting for duty among the hayseeds.

You're the new city copper, then?

Come down to Tito's
country. One's had to do it.

Not late, Turnip. I soon had a fast kip
in the back of the car. The name's Gorton.

And you look as if you need a bath.

Oh, you've got baths down here, have you?

I thought you just made do with
a quick sluice and a duck bun.

All the same, aren't you?

Walk the dirty streets and think
everyone's dirty. I lived in a city once.

Like a zoo.

Must be why you need keepers like me.

I'd rather say good morning to people,
not poke a stick at them. Yeah, well,

that kind of civility
doesn't work too well when

somebody's shoving a bottle in your face.

I wouldn't say you knew
too much about civility.

You want to teach me?
I might have to if I'm

going to work with
you. Start now. Any time.

You can have the slum manners you came
down here with, or you can have an argument.

Started arguing already, have you done?

Nah, that's the way I
couldn't argue with a black pudding.

Worst one's always on the
house. Oh, cheers. Thanks very much.

I hope you'll be comfortable here.

Yeah, I may come here often.

Bad time for your job, isn't it?

Eh?

You know what farmers are like.

Every year's the worst, and
this year's worse than ever.

Yeah, well, I'm just up here doing a
bit of surveying. Skyving, really.

Very strange name for a
pub, isn't it? Sangster's.

That's after the colonel there.

Or rather, his family. Lords of
the manor have been for generations.

Yeah, he looks like a custom
he'd stay the right side of.

You do if you've got any sense.
Not that there's much choice.

Not in here, Sam
Armitage. Not with that dog.

You've been told.

You mustn't worry about Baron.

He's only playing.

He always takes dispensers. He
leaves them alone, mind you,

once they've bought a drink.

Perhaps your little
doggie would like to chew this

fire. Or maybe you just
leave, like the lady says.

Nice sense of tactics you have, friend.

Where'd you learn it?

Same place as you, Adjutant.

Shilling a day.

Well, the laundry
didn't leave out the start

when they sent the old man
in this morning, did they?

So it's Superintendent Gillespie,
do you? Yes, sir. Of course, sir.

He doesn't like time wasters.

Not when they keep poking
around files. Nor ten-page reports.

Nobody does.

Even the people who write them. I
was working from your notes, remember?

He doesn't like sergeants who
can't manage a decent shave, either.

Yes, well, you see, the razor
gets a bit shaky when you've

been up all night keeping
both eyes open on turkey pens.

Get off my back, Rolston.

Inspector Rolston to you. Yes,
Inspector. Have a puncture on me, Inspector.

Sonny, if I do, you'll mend it.

The troops are getting a little restless.

Not their job.

You included.

Tibsy's had two legitimate flights
in that little aeroplane of his.

And Armitage has slaughtered his
normal quota of helpless animals.

No, Josh Crane there's the only happy one.

More beer money than he's
ever seen, even at harvest.

I can explain Tibsy's trouble.

Some insolent salesman
staying down the village.

Tibsy wants to give him a fat nip.

It's a phrase they use
in the moving pictures.

Colonel, darling Jeremy, you
are dodging the entire issue.

What they want is the risk and the
excitement and the loot, and so do you.

So you're the new sergeant, then?

Yeah.

I used to be in the
mountains, but my horse was retired.

Sad.

They're keeping you busy?

Why, haven't you heard?
There's a big crime wave on.

People drunk in charge of lawnmowers.

One of them was a member
of the parish council.

Just goes to show, the most
respectable ones are the worst.

Mm, I know.

Mind you, we reported
him to Colonel Sangster.

He was given seven days in the
greenhouse. What do I mean, grasshouse?

Both.

I bet you miss London, don't you?

Not only the gang
fights and the diesel fumes,

but Inspector Rolston is going
to teach me all-time dancing.

There's another stranger over there.

You can compare notes.

Hello. Hello.

Would you fancy a drink?
Oh, yes, please. The usual.

Same again?

Cheers.

How's business?

Oh, uh, machinery's a
bit off at the moment.

Yeah, I know how you feel.

Yeah, cutting beet isn't quite what it
used to be. Yeah, I know. There's cow leave.

If it doesn't make something happen
soon, I'm gonna turn into a giant marrow.

Thank you, Bessie. How much is that?
Yeah, enjoy your rest while you can, anyway.

The message was that you have an
operative structure and a false suspect,

and a very important location minister.

Talk in the car, it's ghastly here.

Henry, one of the most perfect
forms known to man is the triangle.

I have two corners of
it, operative and suspect.

I need the third.

Bait.

If you know somebody's
going to steal something,

it's much easier to catch the
thief. You can't have straight and four.

It's too far ahead.

You just can't have it.

Even with a minister's permission.
I've got to have straight and fore.

Genuine bait.

Just a beautiful golden
picture in a beautiful golden frame.

I thought you were in good voice
in church this morning, Jeremy.

I always enjoy reading the lesson.

Traditional.

Especially the bit about, let he who
is without sin cast the first stone.

Yes, you can see half the
congregation reaching in one another's pockets.

Business sections first, my love.

The egghead backscratching can wait.

Who reads books?

The usual look around the
marketplace, see what's on offer.

That's how we found the chalice.

Have you got this in the Times, Jeremy?

Yes, I have. I must say a prayer
for informative publicity next week.

What is it?

Well, it starts off with the usual
mawkish come-on about Britain leading the world.

To the bloody pawn
shop. In this case, oil.

It tells of an interesting
new device called Straighten 4,

a new deep-sea pressure
gauge for sticking at the end

of drills to calculate
strata strength and radius.

Silicon chip seismography.

Sounds expensive.

It is.

About a million pounds worth.

More to our sort of customers.

How big?

Fits into a small tea chest.

Every bathroom should have
one. For the bath oil, of course.

Unfunny, Sarah.

On Wednesday, it leaves the
refinery for evaluation at the NPL.

Well, well, Tibsy.

I think you'd better polish
up your ergs and hydrocarbons,

or whatever they call them, and head
there with all ears flapping. Initial there.

And there. And sign at the bottom.

Thank you.

I now have to ask you, Mr. Cowley, if
you realize that your department, CI5,

has just accepted full
responsibility for Straighten 4,

a piece of apparatus worth close
on a million pounds. I realize.

We'll do our best not to mislay it.

You'll be taken straight
into MPL tomorrow, Hughie.

What for this time?

Orders.

You may or may not be the police
officer you say you are. In any event,

my bailiff has orders to evict or
shoot any poachers or intruders.

You're pushing the law a bit, aren't you,
Colonel? Or protecting my own property.

I'm prepared to argue
it in the court of law.

You might have to. Because if your
bailiff doesn't put that gun down,

I'm going to put wheel
marks right across his navel.

I just like credits,
especially insolent official ones.

Get me Chief
Superintendent Gillespie, will you?

Colonel Sangster is chairman
of the Board of Magistrates.

He's not the bloody
Mafia, so leave him alone.

He's still an ordinary citizen,
and it was still a routine patrol.

See, the other town would take a dim view
of having shotguns waved at its coppers.

And with your type of lip,
you probably deserved it.

And Colonel Sangster is
not an ordinary citizen.

Oh, the class system rules,
okay. What was that? Just the same.

Told you the name of the place we're
living in is nowhere. I don't know.

Got my share of cream teas here.

Any crumbs of comfort?

Yeah, a couple. A bouncer at
the Orinoco saw a man coming

out of Ullman's just after his
neck was broken. A man had a dog.

Sam Armitage.

Was he whistling?

I don't know. It's not on the report,

but the aforementioned
Armitage just sold my landlady

a very pricey camera for about 50 quid.

Oh, yes, yes. There's
bargains everywhere, mate.

You know where to look
for them, but it's still

circumstance on circumstance, an accident.

Got no proof, have we?

Carly wants to see me this
afternoon. Oh, I'm on duty.

Get off it.

Easy.

Once I'd lubricated the right
foreman and got the hang of the axe,

they're moving this
straight-and-four thing tomorrow.

Very low-key, no special security laid on,

just a couple of
plate-layer types and it works fine.

Enjoying the country life?

Has its moment, sir.

Not for much longer.

We've just been entrusted with a
government device worth quite a lot of money.

Straight and fore. What, this?

Oh, I wish it was.

No, that's your personal homing pigeon.

It's locked into the device in the
apparatus so that sleeping or waking,

you know its whereabouts.

Why?

Because we're almost sure that Sangster's
going to steal it. And we stop him, right?

You'd better.

Now sign for the apparatus.

Look at the scene of the object, drop a
hand on the colonel's collar and say, oh,

you. No, no, you'll stay where you are.

Oh, not more cream, please.
You and Doyle around the clock.

Doyle said he'd be on duty.

He'll be right.

I want Sangster lifted as he's trying
to get the apparatus out of the country.

I want to find out how it's done.

Also, no matter how
half-hearted, I want a treason

charge to lay on him,
as well as the theft.

Oi.

Morning. I thought it was Rolston. I
thought it was a haystack on fire.

Not a haystack you, Doyle.

We've just drawn 24-hour eyeballs
on the Sangster export business,

so you'd better apply for leave,

or whatever procedural corridors
you creep down in the Molten Fuzz.

Well, the best way is
via the police doctor.

Feeds not to bloodshot from
breathalysers to fill in forbs and triplicate.

Yeah, I'm sure you could fake sleep in
sickness, couldn't you? You're a natural.

Nah, that just mistake me
for the police sergeant.

Oh, come on, mate. It's all right.

There are other ways.

Providing you're not too
worried about your pension.

I'll see you.

Thank you, Sarah.

Yes, of course I'm pleased. It's a firm
offer. You know I don't like speculation.

There's an affray at the Sangster
Arms. Officer's in need of assistance.

You're supposed to be
the hotshot action man.

What are you hanging about for?

Wednesdays. I only attend
the frays on Wednesdays.

Where the hell do you think you're going?

Oh, dentist appointment.

Stop being funny and come on!

No motorbike escort this time, Hughie?

They did ask, but they said no.

They'll probably save you petrol.

No, that's all. All right, Dave. See you.

Keys!

You two gentlemen can choose between a
little buckshot and a tap on the head.

Think about it.

In the back.

I love your office, Bodie.

All the samples say that. It's
the mark of a great salesman.

We've got 20 minutes.

Do your leg exercises, though.

You cut that a bit fine, Tibbs, eh?

Sorry about that, sir. I had to
eliminate with extreme prejudice.

I can hear you, darling.

The customs free case is ready
and the plane's warming up. Over.

And the flight plan? Over?

Yes, all filled in.

If Carly wants to know how they
do it, we can tell him. Yeah,

they just switched sales. It's a good way
of making money out of a conjuring trick.

Thank you, Miss Piper.

I think we better call
for reinforcements, mate.

No, nothing. They've got a
full-frequency radio in there.

I'd still like to
attract someone's attention,

or we might both end
up on the police force.

You made good time?

It was worked out, my dear.

Well, there, boy.

Well done.

Okay. Get it.

Never did like dogs.

Even greyhounds lose for me.

Listen, spike that
bloody aircraft, all right?

All right.

Who weapons these magnums?
I wonder where he got it.

Handcuffs.

The prospect of a dive from 8,000
feet up might make him change his mind.

Get to the plane!

If we win all this, Colonel, either
way, one way or the other, you choose!

Somebody called Cowley said there might
be trouble out here. He wasn't wrong.

He says you outrank me.
I have to take orders.

I haven't got any!

Wait, hang on a minute.

Major Cowley ordered the cake, sir.

Oh.

Thank you, Miss Piper.

Thank you.

Whose birthday is it, yours?

Oh, no.

Thank you, Mr. Cowley.

Thank you, Mr. Galbraith.

Can I now confirm that Stratton 4 is
now entirely your property? You can.

This exercise, gentlemen,

has been a classic demonstration of
how to have your cake and eat it.