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1
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:14,613
Operator... Huh?
2
00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:17,282
No, Operator, I
was just cleaning.
3
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:21,803
What did the doctor say?
4
00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:29,327
I don't understand
talk like that.
5
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:33,409
Why won't you answer me?
6
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,234
'Cause Dr. Melnitz put
me on some medicine
7
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,135
and then he put
me on voice rest.
8
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:39,049
And that's all
Dr. Melnitz did? Yeah.
9
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:40,583
Said I was fine. Uh-huh.
10
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:41,918
Yeah. Where's your phone?
11
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,619
I want to call Dr. Melnitz.
All right, all right!
12
00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:45,155
He said my throat
was a little irritated.
13
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,479
If I gargle with hot
water and salt, I'll be fine.
14
00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:49,041
Salt water and that's all? Yeah.
15
00:00:49,065 --> 00:00:51,917
I already called Dr. Melnitz.
16
00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:54,753
Well, I'm not gonna
have the operation!
17
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,755
Yes you are! No, I'm not!
18
00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:57,923
He's a quack. What does...
19
00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,635
Who are you to call?
What are you, my mother?
20
00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:03,211
No, but I wish I could
punish you for lying.
21
00:01:03,246 --> 00:01:06,214
Just leave me alone, will you?
22
00:01:06,249 --> 00:01:08,216
I've got to get dressed here.
23
00:01:08,251 --> 00:01:09,885
Can't believe this.
24
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:11,553
Unbelievable.
25
00:01:11,588 --> 00:01:12,637
Nice. Uh-huh.
26
00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:14,250
You're being so ridiculous.
27
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:16,152
He even recommended
a wonderful surgeon.
28
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:17,342
Who? That Dr. Kreeky?
29
00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:18,360
Kooky?
30
00:01:18,395 --> 00:01:19,506
Dr. Krakauer happens
31
00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:21,374
to be the best throat
man in New York.
32
00:01:21,398 --> 00:01:22,631
Well, you can forget about it.
33
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:23,876
I'm not gonna
have the operation.
34
00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:24,999
My voice is fine.
35
00:01:25,035 --> 00:01:26,279
Well, your voice
was fine yesterday.
36
00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:28,036
It's always fine until you yell.
37
00:01:28,071 --> 00:01:29,282
Well, don't make me yell, huh?
38
00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:30,306
Oh, swell.
39
00:01:30,341 --> 00:01:31,341
It's all set, Oscar...
40
00:01:31,375 --> 00:01:32,585
You're going in
the hospital tonight.
41
00:01:32,609 --> 00:01:33,853
Oh, did you arrange
everything? Yes.
42
00:01:33,877 --> 00:01:35,288
Isn't that nice.
Well, I can't go
43
00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:36,790
even if I wanted
to I couldn't go.
44
00:01:36,814 --> 00:01:38,391
I have something very
important to do tonight.
45
00:01:38,415 --> 00:01:40,927
Crazy Rhoda Zimmerman
is not all that important.
46
00:01:40,951 --> 00:01:42,985
It's not Crazy Rhoda, smart guy.
47
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:45,470
I'm gonna be on The Dick
Cavett Show, and I'm late now.
48
00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:47,973
The Dick Cavett Show?!
49
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,207
Yeah.
50
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,209
Wow!
51
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:52,894
Why didn't you tell me?
52
00:01:52,929 --> 00:01:54,696
It just came up this afternoon.
53
00:01:54,732 --> 00:01:56,509
It's because of that
racetrack scandal I uncovered.
54
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,367
Will you help me find
my black shoes, please?
55
00:01:58,402 --> 00:01:59,412
Black shoes. Yeah.
56
00:01:59,436 --> 00:02:01,247
Here. Oh, they're right there.
57
00:02:01,271 --> 00:02:04,239
There's a pickle in this shoe.
58
00:02:04,274 --> 00:02:06,241
You're always after
me to use a shoe tree,
59
00:02:06,276 --> 00:02:07,409
aren't you?
60
00:02:07,444 --> 00:02:10,379
It's very hard to find
a size 11D pickle.
61
00:02:11,849 --> 00:02:13,915
I just realized something very,
62
00:02:13,950 --> 00:02:15,962
very important about you. What?
63
00:02:15,986 --> 00:02:17,953
In the words of the
great Sigmund Freud,
64
00:02:17,988 --> 00:02:19,671
you're a fraidy cat.
65
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:22,341
I am not a fraidy cat.
66
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:23,675
What about the dentist?
67
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,577
You insisted on gas to
have your teeth cleaned.
68
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,591
Oh, I needed a
nap, that's all. Yeah.
69
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:29,114
You're afraid of doctors.
70
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:30,793
I am not afraid of
doctors. Yes, you are.
71
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,529
No, I'm not. I just
don't like doctors.
72
00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:34,864
The last doctor I liked
wore a bone in his nose.
73
00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:37,889
That's a typical
fraidy cat reaction.
74
00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:39,669
Well, no matter what you say,
I'm not gonna have the operation.
75
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,504
And that's the end of it,
okay? All right. All right.
76
00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:43,506
It doesn't matter to
me; I did all I could.
77
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,464
Good. I'll get him
in the hospital.
78
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:23,101
♪ ♪
79
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:57,168
♪ ♪
80
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,516
The Odd Couple was filmed
in front of a live audience.
81
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:19,001
As, uh, most of you
have probably read,
82
00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:21,827
a major racetrack scandal
was uncovered in the past week
83
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:24,930
and one of the, uh, best-known
sportswriters in America,
84
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:26,965
Oscar Madison, got that story.
85
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,300
Mr. Madison is here tonight
86
00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:29,467
to talk about the whole...
87
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:30,646
30 seconds, Mr. Madison.
88
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:32,015
Yeah, sure. Hey!
89
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,171
Hey!
90
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,439
What are you doing here?
91
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:35,484
You ready to go?
92
00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:36,508
Yeah, in a few seconds.
93
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:37,553
No, leave it alone, will you.
94
00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:38,621
I just spoke to Dr. Krakauer.
95
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:39,956
Again with Dr. Krakauer.
He'll operate tomorrow.
96
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:40,990
Will you stop, Felix, please!
97
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,024
He's gonna squeeze you in.
98
00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:43,014
Tell him to squeeze
me out again.
99
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:44,226
I'm going on in a
few sec... No, no.
100
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,170
What's the matter with
you? You'll get this done.
101
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:48,765
Don't shout... you're
gonna hurt your voice.
102
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:49,771
Don't shout.
103
00:04:49,806 --> 00:04:51,084
I'm gonna get...
I lost my voice.
104
00:04:51,108 --> 00:04:52,418
You did, you hurt your
voice again, didn't you?
105
00:04:52,442 --> 00:04:53,552
You know what's
gonna happen now?
106
00:04:53,576 --> 00:04:55,121
You're gonna go out there
and make a fool of yourself.
107
00:04:55,145 --> 00:04:58,447
Will you welcome
please Mr. Oscar Madison.
108
00:04:58,482 --> 00:05:00,415
Right here.
109
00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:04,029
My Voice... I can't. You're on.
110
00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:05,064
You're on. You're on.
111
00:05:05,088 --> 00:05:06,298
You're on. I can't do it.
112
00:05:06,322 --> 00:05:07,633
Come on, Mr. Madison.
113
00:05:07,657 --> 00:05:09,301
You're on.: I can't go on.
114
00:05:09,325 --> 00:05:10,369
I can't.
115
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,221
My guest wasn't
exactly in place.
116
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,212
They have a hammerlock on him.
117
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:15,480
We sometimes have to do that.
118
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:17,966
We had to get one on Helen
Hayes to get her to come out.
119
00:05:18,001 --> 00:05:19,667
Here is... here he is now,
120
00:05:19,702 --> 00:05:20,702
Mister... there you are.
121
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,404
Mr. Madison, very
nice to see you.
122
00:05:22,439 --> 00:05:24,083
Can we hear it for Mr. Madison
123
00:05:24,107 --> 00:05:26,074
as he sits down.
124
00:05:26,109 --> 00:05:29,088
I was a little worried
there for a moment.
125
00:05:29,112 --> 00:05:31,257
Say, you, uh, you've
created quite a stir
126
00:05:31,281 --> 00:05:33,259
with this whole, uh,
racetrack scandal
127
00:05:33,283 --> 00:05:35,594
and there are a couple of points
I'd like to clear up right away.
128
00:05:35,618 --> 00:05:37,863
One of them is that the
underworld has in a sense
129
00:05:37,887 --> 00:05:40,366
gotten to you and sort of, uh,
130
00:05:40,390 --> 00:05:42,251
asked you to clam up
about this whole thing.
131
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,876
Is there any-any truth to that?
132
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,611
Perhaps you could sort of
133
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:48,641
recap the story for
us from the beginning.
134
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,170
I'm sorry, I can't...
135
00:05:55,205 --> 00:05:56,282
We're having a little, uh...
136
00:05:56,306 --> 00:05:57,506
you're gonna have to speak up.
137
00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:58,751
You'll have to talk much louder.
138
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,053
You're gonna get...
Are you feeling...
139
00:06:00,077 --> 00:06:01,421
Do you feel that you're
using your full voice?
140
00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:02,888
Because I'm not hearing you.
141
00:06:02,912 --> 00:06:05,324
I seem to be having an
auditory deficiency of my own.
142
00:06:05,348 --> 00:06:07,432
What, um, what is the matter?
143
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:09,512
The matter is the man
needs a throat operation,
144
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,579
that's what the matter is.
145
00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:11,969
Who's that?
146
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:14,906
Uh, are-are you aware
of the man in the wings?
147
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:17,053
This is the strangest
night I think I've had yet.
148
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,287
What is, uh, what is that?
149
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,956
That man needs
a throat operation,
150
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,040
that's what the trouble is.
151
00:06:21,064 --> 00:06:22,075
He won't have it.
152
00:06:22,099 --> 00:06:23,331
Is he with you?
153
00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:25,345
Would you want to come
out here and explain this?
154
00:06:25,369 --> 00:06:27,335
I don't know what's
going on out here.
155
00:06:27,371 --> 00:06:29,349
On TV? Yeah, come right out.
156
00:06:29,373 --> 00:06:31,339
These are the cameras.
157
00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:32,607
I could use a little help.
158
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:33,853
I haven't been in makeup yet.
159
00:06:33,877 --> 00:06:35,021
Oh, that's all
right. You look fine.
160
00:06:35,045 --> 00:06:36,177
Just have a... have a chair.
161
00:06:36,213 --> 00:06:37,357
Stage Manager.
162
00:06:37,381 --> 00:06:38,391
Thank you.
163
00:06:38,415 --> 00:06:39,547
Just...
164
00:06:39,582 --> 00:06:41,060
have a seat. Loved your
book! Loved your book!
165
00:06:41,084 --> 00:06:42,384
Oh, thank you.
166
00:06:42,419 --> 00:06:44,097
You-you know each
other, then. Yes.
167
00:06:44,121 --> 00:06:45,798
Uh, what were you
talking about backstage?
168
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,283
I really didn't
understand this at all.
169
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:50,375
This foolish man has a
serious throat condition,
170
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,560
which he has chosen
to simply ignore.
171
00:06:52,595 --> 00:06:55,096
I see. Well, uh, can
you tell the story then
172
00:06:55,132 --> 00:06:57,232
about the racetrack
scandal for him,
173
00:06:57,267 --> 00:06:58,411
so we...?
174
00:06:58,435 --> 00:06:59,979
I don't bother my mind
with those silly things.
175
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:01,581
You know who was a
wonderful guest with you,
176
00:07:01,605 --> 00:07:02,637
I mean, just loved him?
177
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:03,955
Lord Laurence Olivier.
178
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:06,074
Now, that-that was really good.
179
00:07:06,109 --> 00:07:08,643
If that man had a throat
condition, you'd never know it,
180
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,523
because the man is a trouper.
- Yes.
181
00:07:10,547 --> 00:07:11,757
Have you seen him
sell those cameras?
182
00:07:11,781 --> 00:07:13,631
Isn't that... What
are you trying to do?
183
00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:15,233
This man's going to
be on twice a month,
184
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,312
and you're ruining it for him.
185
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:17,816
You're going to get
him fired forever.
186
00:07:19,289 --> 00:07:20,589
All of you people who think
187
00:07:20,624 --> 00:07:22,624
this man should have
an operation, signify.
188
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,792
How many feel this man
should also have an operation?
189
00:07:37,741 --> 00:07:41,476
Will you please give me
my thermometer back?
190
00:07:41,511 --> 00:07:45,513
Relax, it's only a
minor operation.
191
00:07:48,485 --> 00:07:49,545
That's close enough.
192
00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:52,236
Close enough to what?
193
00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:53,816
Close enough to operate.
194
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:54,840
Thanks a lot.
195
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,552
Your surgeon will
be in a few minutes.
196
00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:57,787
You'll like him.
197
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,371
He's a real cutup.
198
00:08:02,432 --> 00:08:03,864
You hear what she said?
199
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,783
Dr. Krakauer is a real cutup.
200
00:08:07,470 --> 00:08:10,071
Look what I'm talking
to... The mummy.
201
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:39,217
Post time!
202
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,718
I make a joke out of anything.
203
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,588
How you feeling, huh?
204
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:45,456
A little low, huh?
205
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:48,726
You scared?
206
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:50,695
Let's have some fun.
207
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,306
Cut it out!
208
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,678
See?
209
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,213
Even a hospital can be fun.
210
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,625
Not this hospital.
211
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:10,782
See that guy?
212
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:12,795
You know what he came
in here for? A tonsillectomy.
213
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,669
Must have been complications.
214
00:09:14,704 --> 00:09:16,504
You know who operated on him?
215
00:09:16,539 --> 00:09:17,622
Dr. Krakauer.
216
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:20,925
They tell me
Krakauer is a genius.
217
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,839
Yeah. How they
treating you, huh?
218
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:24,474
All right. They even shaved me.
219
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:25,597
Ah.
220
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:27,472
Well, you want to look
nice for your operation.
221
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,151
I'm not talking about my face.
222
00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:35,850
You don't want to
take any chances.
223
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:39,243
Well, that's a pretty
big margin for error.
224
00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,864
Why didn't you stop them?
225
00:09:42,899 --> 00:09:45,700
I was sound asleep.
226
00:09:45,735 --> 00:09:47,735
It was 3:00 in the morning.
227
00:09:47,770 --> 00:09:49,237
I thought it was a nice dream.
228
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,657
Such a kidder.
229
00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:55,104
I want to get out of here.
Dr. Krakauer will be here any minute.
230
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:56,505
My voice is better.
Your voice is terrible.
231
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:58,207
How can anybody work here
232
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,791
with all this
stuff in the hall?!
233
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:04,402
Hello, I'm Dr. Krakauer.
234
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,636
Sorry, I'm late.
235
00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:07,272
How do you do? How do you do?
236
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:08,617
You're Dr. Krakauer?
237
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,374
Yeah.
238
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,478
What's the matter, you
never saw a surgeon before?
239
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:16,080
You Madison?
240
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,693
What's the matter
with him? He can't talk?
241
00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:20,029
He's got a bad throat.
242
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,396
That's why he's
here in the hospital.
243
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:22,386
Well, take it easy.
244
00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:23,855
You can't be too careful.
245
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,490
Sometimes they
slip a hernia case in.
246
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:27,825
It's embarrassing.
247
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:28,871
You weren't too careful with
248
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,589
this tonsillectomy
case, were you?
249
00:10:30,613 --> 00:10:31,779
Don't be a dope.
250
00:10:31,814 --> 00:10:33,248
I never operated on him.
251
00:10:33,283 --> 00:10:36,217
He jumped out the window
when we tried to shave him.
252
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:40,355
What is it?
253
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:41,600
May I call you "Doctor?"
254
00:10:41,624 --> 00:10:43,491
Yeah.
255
00:10:43,527 --> 00:10:44,737
Do you think this is
256
00:10:44,761 --> 00:10:47,073
the most sanitary thing
in the world, a cigar?
257
00:10:47,097 --> 00:10:49,730
You know, most
doctors have quit.
258
00:10:49,766 --> 00:10:51,099
Are you a patient here?
259
00:10:51,134 --> 00:10:52,100
No.
260
00:10:52,135 --> 00:10:55,553
Would you like to be?
261
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:57,955
I'm his roommate.
262
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,202
Don't let him make you nervous.
263
00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:00,503
Here, open your
mouth, let me see.
264
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:02,671
Doctor, Doctor. I want you...
265
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:05,480
What now? Another
walk down the aisle?
266
00:11:05,515 --> 00:11:08,115
I want you to know
that I will be here
267
00:11:08,151 --> 00:11:09,534
to help him at all times.
268
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,268
You really want to help him?
269
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:12,269
Yes.
270
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:13,305
Move to Turkey.
271
00:11:16,325 --> 00:11:19,193
Tomorrow, we'll
have the operation.
272
00:11:19,229 --> 00:11:20,644
Keep your fingers crossed.
273
00:11:24,367 --> 00:11:26,412
What an eccentric, huh?
274
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,513
But I smell genius.
275
00:11:27,537 --> 00:11:29,504
I smell pain. I'm
getting out of here.
276
00:11:29,539 --> 00:11:30,888
Please, let me get out.
277
00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:32,134
Stay, stay. We'll
laugh some more.
278
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:34,036
No more with the bed!
Leave the bed alone, will you?
279
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,604
You know what I
always say to a man
280
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:36,839
who's about to have
a throat operation?
281
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:37,829
What?
282
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:38,864
Keep your chin up.
283
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:42,266
Get out, Felix.
284
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:44,580
But you need a friend.
285
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:45,954
Get out, Felix!
286
00:11:57,900 --> 00:12:00,768
Guess who's coming to
dinner but can't swallow?
287
00:12:02,839 --> 00:12:04,455
It's the patient.
288
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:07,374
Oscar, I wasn't
expecting you till tonight.
289
00:12:07,410 --> 00:12:10,144
Yeah, they made him check
out of the hospital a little early.
290
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,740
They didn't want
you to come back.
291
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:16,367
See, there was
nothing to worry about.
292
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,803
The operation was
a complete success.
293
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:20,137
Krakauer's a genius.
294
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,918
He can't talk for two days.
295
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:23,619
I know, that's why we
have this blackboard.
296
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:26,544
We'll communicate just fine.
297
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:27,823
Felix? Yeah?
298
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:29,625
Okay if I go to your
little boys' room?
299
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:30,649
Sure, go ahead.
300
00:12:31,685 --> 00:12:33,551
Oscar, Oscar.
301
00:12:34,604 --> 00:12:37,405
Listen, while you were away...
302
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,906
Glad to see you...
303
00:12:38,941 --> 00:12:41,037
I came to an amazing conclusion.
304
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:43,621
Do you know why
you lost your voice?
305
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:49,045
You knew! I thought I was
the only one who figured it out.
306
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,034
I bug you.
307
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,247
I drive you crazy.
308
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,815
Well, I'm not going
to do that anymore.
309
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:54,616
Don't drink the cold.
It's bad for your throat.
310
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:55,768
Don't gulp like that. Here.
311
00:12:55,792 --> 00:12:56,935
Here. Sip it.
312
00:12:56,959 --> 00:12:58,393
Here you are.
313
00:12:58,428 --> 00:13:00,261
Wipe your lip.
314
00:13:00,297 --> 00:13:02,997
You see, I used to
drive my wife crazy, too,
315
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:06,301
but I'm-I'm not going to
drive you crazy anymore.
316
00:13:06,336 --> 00:13:08,135
I'm going to live and let live.
317
00:13:08,171 --> 00:13:10,638
You have to be just
a little bit more flex...
318
00:13:14,110 --> 00:13:16,894
The main thing is,
that if you don't...
319
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:19,664
You're testing me, aren't you?
320
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:22,833
I know you're not going to
smoke a cigar with that throat.
321
00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:23,984
You think I'm crazy?
322
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,420
What a kidder you are.
323
00:13:26,990 --> 00:13:30,350
There's a big surprise...
324
00:13:32,662 --> 00:13:35,396
Big surprise for
you in your room.
325
00:13:50,446 --> 00:13:52,380
You like it?
326
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,383
Huh?
327
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,529
Doesn't that sort of look nice?
328
00:13:57,553 --> 00:13:59,236
Oscar?
329
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,839
Oscar, I didn't
clean up your room.
330
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:04,358
I just... I just
neatened it a little
331
00:14:04,394 --> 00:14:05,537
because of the dust.
332
00:14:05,561 --> 00:14:06,905
There was such dust here.
333
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,474
That's bad for
your throat, Oscar.
334
00:14:08,498 --> 00:14:10,242
I did it for your own good.
335
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,627
Come on, don't... Please.
336
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:14,730
You're making my
throat hurt, come on.
337
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:18,467
Please, Oscar, be friends.
338
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:19,857
I get sympathy pains.
339
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:22,093
Like when Gloria was
pregnant, I retained water.
340
00:14:23,747 --> 00:14:25,379
Come on.
341
00:14:25,414 --> 00:14:27,660
Look, we'll-we'll mess
it up a little bit, see?
342
00:14:27,684 --> 00:14:30,244
Look, see what I did? There.
343
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:33,232
Aw, come on, don't
make me feel so guilty.
344
00:14:33,256 --> 00:14:35,284
Come on, please, Oscar.
345
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,653
It's no way to treat
a guy who's trying...
346
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:38,821
Please... Os...
347
00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:40,805
Oscar.
348
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:52,456
Hey, guys, when I stood up, I
bumped my head on your sink.
349
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,676
Does it... Does
it look all right?
350
00:14:58,615 --> 00:15:00,781
I'm deaf!
351
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,631
What do you say, Madison?
352
00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:22,865
Don't tell me.
353
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,166
Don't talk.
354
00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:26,001
Listen, how do you feel?
355
00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:27,202
Don't tell me.
356
00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:28,504
Let me examine you.
357
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,473
See how you feel a little later.
358
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,541
Let me see. Open your mouth.
359
00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,898
Ah! Good.
360
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,635
Now you can start
to talk, but very softly.
361
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,983
Remember, if you
raise your voice,
362
00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:43,386
you'll be back in the
hospital in ten minutes.
363
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:45,109
How about this? Like this?
364
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:46,188
Perfect.
365
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:48,613
Good.
366
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,328
What's the matter
with the nudge?
367
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:53,484
He can't talk.
368
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:58,816
Stop playing
doctor with yourself.
369
00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:01,925
Here, let me take a look.
370
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:19,310
Yeah.
371
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:21,078
That it.
372
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,675
You know what
you're suffering from?
373
00:16:22,699 --> 00:16:25,666
You got a severe case
of Nudge's disease.
374
00:16:25,702 --> 00:16:30,137
In your terms,
hysterical laryngitis.
375
00:16:30,172 --> 00:16:32,222
Guilt has taken over.
376
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:35,225
Guilt from driving
this man crazy.
377
00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:38,162
In two weeks,
Oscar will be well.
378
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:40,526
You'll be sick the
rest of your life.
379
00:16:40,550 --> 00:16:43,818
Or until you feel
380
00:16:43,853 --> 00:16:45,581
that you've punished
yourself enough.
381
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,149
All right, that's
right, don't listen.
382
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,606
Don't listen.
383
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,953
You may hear something that
could change your whole life.
384
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:54,144
Turn you into a
normal person like him.
385
00:16:55,732 --> 00:16:58,766
What this country needs
is more men like you!
386
00:16:58,801 --> 00:17:00,613
Thank you, Doctor.
387
00:17:00,637 --> 00:17:04,071
Now, remember,
don't raise your voice.
388
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:05,572
With him around?
389
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,257
Try your best.
390
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:09,071
Nice meeting you fellows.
391
00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:10,806
Hey, now remember, don't shout,
392
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:12,908
even when you get my bill.
393
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:16,612
Okay, now, you heard
what the doctor said.
394
00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,280
So now stay out of my room
395
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:19,982
and stay out of my way, please.
396
00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:21,939
And don't give me
any trouble, okay?
397
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,076
And you're going
to treat me right.
398
00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:27,178
You're not going to bother me.
399
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:31,715
And you're going to be
very nice about everything.
400
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,554
Thank you very much.
401
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:38,356
Thank you.
402
00:18:08,704 --> 00:18:11,505
Hey, want to take
the television set?
403
00:18:11,541 --> 00:18:13,473
Not with my back.
404
00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:17,978
Okay, I'll take it.
405
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:20,574
Let's get the silverware first.
406
00:18:22,919 --> 00:18:25,152
Honk?
407
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:27,349
Maybe they teach geese.
408
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,673
Come on.
409
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:46,990
♪ ♪
410
00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:06,811
What are you doing in my room?
411
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,946
You want me to go
back to the hospital?
412
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,615
Do you know what
the doctor said?
413
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,249
Get out of my room, will you?
414
00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:14,451
Please, get out of my room.
415
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:20,503
Operator.
416
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,476
This is your operator speaking.
417
00:19:25,481 --> 00:19:27,898
Is this an obscene phone call?
418
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:29,066
What are you doing?
419
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:30,767
Will you get out of my room?
420
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,203
Please, get out of my room.
421
00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:35,072
Can't you sleep...
422
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:37,107
What? What?
423
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:44,514
Burglars?
424
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:46,161
Two burglars in the living room?
425
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,462
Why didn't you tell me?
426
00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:49,832
What are you waiting for?
427
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,289
Okay, don't move,
and you won't get hurt!
428
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:55,109
What disarray.
429
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:11,520
Try to get out, will you?
430
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,955
I can't. You tied
me up too well.
431
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,830
And I can't even
yell, thanks to you.
432
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,186
I hope you're happy.
433
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,533
All this is your fault.
434
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,502
You and your
hysterical laryngitis.
435
00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:28,559
Five years, I can't shut you up.
436
00:20:28,594 --> 00:20:30,661
One day, I need
you to say something,
437
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:31,912
you dummy up on me.
438
00:20:31,948 --> 00:20:34,226
It's all your fault.
439
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:35,530
Oh, shut up.
440
00:20:38,521 --> 00:20:40,488
Hey, Felix,
441
00:20:40,523 --> 00:20:42,506
when you first saw the burglars,
442
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:45,843
weren't you able to get out
without them seeing you?
443
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:48,178
Why didn't you?
444
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:50,147
You did it to warn me.
445
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:52,984
And I've been mad at you.
446
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:54,785
I'm sorry.
447
00:20:56,973 --> 00:20:59,306
I'm not going to be mad
at you anymore, buddy.
448
00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:00,574
I really am not.
449
00:21:00,609 --> 00:21:01,876
Forgive me?
450
00:21:04,947 --> 00:21:06,613
Wow!
451
00:21:06,649 --> 00:21:09,750
Boy, I don't know how long
we're going to stay like this.
452
00:21:09,785 --> 00:21:12,753
It's going to get kind
of boring by Saturday.
453
00:21:14,056 --> 00:21:15,989
What are we going to do?
454
00:21:19,061 --> 00:21:21,228
What?
455
00:21:21,263 --> 00:21:22,730
Sing? I can't sing.
456
00:21:22,765 --> 00:21:25,332
I can't raise my voice
anyway, if I could sing.
457
00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:26,500
Shh.
458
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:27,746
Sing quietly?
459
00:21:27,770 --> 00:21:30,315
You mean, like Nat King Cole?
460
00:21:30,339 --> 00:21:32,083
Are you out of your mind?
461
00:21:32,107 --> 00:21:33,724
I can't do that.
462
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,460
♪ Mona Lisa ♪
463
00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:40,063
♪ Mona Lisa, men
have named you... ♪
464
00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:41,927
No, I don't want to sing.
465
00:21:41,951 --> 00:21:45,452
We've got to do something else.
466
00:21:45,488 --> 00:21:47,421
What?
467
00:21:50,660 --> 00:21:52,592
Make funny faces?
468
00:21:52,628 --> 00:21:55,188
That's a good idea.
469
00:21:57,884 --> 00:22:00,384
I got one.
470
00:22:00,419 --> 00:22:02,286
I got one. I got one.
471
00:22:07,693 --> 00:22:09,655
What are we laughing about?
472
00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:13,213
I wonder who is there.
473
00:22:13,248 --> 00:22:16,327
Guys, it's me, Murray.
474
00:22:16,351 --> 00:22:17,496
You fellas still up?
475
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,531
Come on in, Murray.
Please, come in.
476
00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:20,699
Come on in, Murray.
477
00:22:20,723 --> 00:22:24,068
Yoo-hoo! Aw, come on, guys.
478
00:22:24,092 --> 00:22:26,137
You're just hoping
I'll go away, right?
479
00:22:26,161 --> 00:22:27,539
No, no, I ain't.
Come in. Come in.
480
00:22:27,563 --> 00:22:28,807
I never wanted
to see you before,
481
00:22:28,831 --> 00:22:29,841
but now I want to see you.
482
00:22:29,865 --> 00:22:31,276
Come in, Murray.
Please come in. Come in.
483
00:22:31,300 --> 00:22:33,412
I got a surprise for you.
484
00:22:33,436 --> 00:22:34,436
What?
485
00:22:34,470 --> 00:22:36,314
It's a nice big pizza.
486
00:22:36,338 --> 00:22:37,616
Pizza. I'm starving.
I'm starving.
487
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:38,750
Come in. Break the door down.
488
00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:39,818
Come on, this is
your last chance.
489
00:22:39,842 --> 00:22:41,119
- Break the door down.
- I'm gonna go away.
490
00:22:41,143 --> 00:22:42,042
Break the door down. Come on,
491
00:22:42,077 --> 00:22:43,755
please, Murray
with the big nose.
492
00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:45,957
Please, Murray, break the
door down, come on, come on.
493
00:22:45,981 --> 00:22:48,126
I'm gonna shout,
even if it hurts.
494
00:22:48,150 --> 00:22:49,416
He's going away.
495
00:22:49,452 --> 00:22:50,695
Murray, we were robbed!
496
00:22:50,719 --> 00:22:53,037
Break the door down!
497
00:23:00,179 --> 00:23:01,778
Murray, two burglars.
498
00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:03,780
They just went
out the back door.
499
00:23:03,816 --> 00:23:06,917
Got cheese all over my outfit.
500
00:23:06,953 --> 00:23:09,353
You can catch them if
you hurry out the back door.
501
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:11,822
Okay. You two guys
untie each other.
502
00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:13,824
I'll go chase those burglars.
503
00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:17,027
Boy, it's a good thing
I got my hearing back.
504
00:23:20,466 --> 00:23:23,300
You know, a miracle
just happened.
505
00:23:23,336 --> 00:23:24,512
What kind of miracle?
506
00:23:24,536 --> 00:23:26,303
The miracle of friendship.
507
00:23:26,339 --> 00:23:29,440
When I realized you were going
to scream and hurt your voice,
508
00:23:29,475 --> 00:23:30,891
I overcame my guilt,
509
00:23:30,927 --> 00:23:32,526
and I got my voice back.
510
00:23:32,561 --> 00:23:33,860
Isn't that wonderful?!
511
00:23:33,896 --> 00:23:36,730
We should be very
grateful for our friendship.
512
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:00,604
Well, we got 'em!
513
00:24:00,639 --> 00:24:02,772
They started running,
but I yelled, "Stop thief!"
514
00:24:02,808 --> 00:24:05,375
And then I fired a
warning shot in the air,
515
00:24:05,411 --> 00:24:07,077
and they stopped,
placed under arrest.
516
00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:08,956
Oh, that's great, Murray. Wow!
517
00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:10,525
Yeah, but I feel bad. Why?
518
00:24:10,549 --> 00:24:11,916
I scared a pigeon.
519
00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:13,945
You ought to see the little
thing running through the park.
520
00:24:13,969 --> 00:24:15,697
Murray, where's our stuff?
521
00:24:15,721 --> 00:24:17,766
Down at the station. We
need it for evidence now.
522
00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:19,634
You'll get it back
in a couple of days.
523
00:24:19,658 --> 00:24:20,802
Okay.
524
00:24:20,826 --> 00:24:22,587
Another job well done
by your man in blue!
525
00:24:22,611 --> 00:24:23,810
Murray?
526
00:24:23,846 --> 00:24:25,045
Yeah?
527
00:24:25,081 --> 00:24:26,247
Untie us.
528
00:24:26,282 --> 00:24:29,850
Oh, yeah. There are so
many details to this job.
36491
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