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1
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♪ ♪
2
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Oscar?!
3
00:00:18,368 --> 00:00:19,479
Here. Where?
4
00:00:19,503 --> 00:00:20,469
In my room, here.
5
00:00:20,504 --> 00:00:21,948
Oscar.
6
00:00:21,972 --> 00:00:23,492
What'd you do, run
home from Baltimore?
7
00:00:24,641 --> 00:00:26,786
The elevator's
broken. Yeah, I know.
8
00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:28,555
Oh! Felix, you've got
a mark on your neck.
9
00:00:28,579 --> 00:00:31,258
What is that? I just
climbed 11 flights of stairs.
10
00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:35,150
176 steps.
11
00:00:35,185 --> 00:00:36,730
With two suitcases.
12
00:00:36,754 --> 00:00:38,265
Oh! You always overpack.
13
00:00:38,289 --> 00:00:39,899
Looks like a hickey
to me, buddy. Oh!
14
00:00:39,923 --> 00:00:41,134
Is that a hickey? What is that?
15
00:00:41,158 --> 00:00:43,158
What?
16
00:00:43,193 --> 00:00:44,371
Oh, Miriam met
me at the airport.
17
00:00:44,395 --> 00:00:46,038
She was so glad to...
18
00:00:46,062 --> 00:00:47,391
How long has the
elevator been busted?
19
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:49,047
About four days.
20
00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:51,395
She gave you a hickey like
that? Miriam? Four days?!
21
00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:53,463
At the airport? You've
been climbing those steps
22
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,320
for four days?
23
00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:56,433
How do you stand it?
24
00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,089
I stayed inside.
25
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:00,592
I wish I had a girl who would
give me a hickey right now,
26
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:03,395
I'll tell you that, boy.
27
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A sandwich on his dartboard.
28
00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:12,420
Beer...
29
00:01:12,456 --> 00:01:13,896
That's why I don't
have to go outside
30
00:01:13,923 --> 00:01:15,001
until the elevator's fixed.
31
00:01:15,025 --> 00:01:18,760
I eat, I phone in my
column, and then I sleep.
32
00:01:18,795 --> 00:01:20,507
Well, I'm not going
to let this building
33
00:01:20,531 --> 00:01:21,674
make a hermit out of me.
34
00:01:21,698 --> 00:01:22,908
We got to do
something about that.
35
00:01:22,932 --> 00:01:24,832
Don't you go on one of
your crazy crusades now.
36
00:01:24,868 --> 00:01:26,746
Well, today it's an
elevator, tomorrow a slum.
37
00:01:26,770 --> 00:01:28,914
This building has been
going straight downhill
38
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ever since we got that new
manager, that Mr. Lovelace.
39
00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,124
Oh, cut it out, will you?
40
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:34,393
I'm very content here now.
41
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,693
I'm serious. So am I.
42
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:37,240
We've got to do something
about this building.
43
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:40,332
Our front door squeaks,
the bathroom tiles are loose,
44
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,778
the air conditioner
blows hot air.
45
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,747
So do you! Now, will
you cut it out, please?!
46
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,049
Oh! Now, this building
is in great condition!
47
00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:54,091
Hello, Mrs. Gossert.
48
00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:57,048
How's tricks?
49
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♪ ♪
50
00:03:05,636 --> 00:03:08,302
♪ ♪
51
00:03:21,251 --> 00:03:24,186
The Odd Couple was filmed
in front of a live audience.
52
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,494
♪ If you scream and shout ♪
53
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:41,720
♪ Turn the manager out,
turn the manager out ♪
54
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,921
♪ If you'll only buckle down ♪
55
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:47,425
♪ Buckle down, you
tenants, buckle down ♪
56
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:50,478
♪ We will not pay penance
if you knuckle down ♪
57
00:03:50,514 --> 00:03:53,293
♪ If you scream and shout ♪
58
00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:54,849
♪ If you use your clout ♪
59
00:03:54,884 --> 00:03:56,484
♪ To turn the manager out ♪
60
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,519
♪ If you'll only buckle down ♪
61
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,673
♪ Buckle down, you
tenants, buckle down ♪
62
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:03,658
♪ We will not pay penance ♪
63
00:04:03,694 --> 00:04:05,326
♪ If you knuckle down ♪
64
00:04:05,361 --> 00:04:07,195
♪ If you scream and shout ♪
65
00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:08,830
♪ If you use your clout ♪
66
00:04:08,865 --> 00:04:10,665
♪ To turn the manager out ♪
Shut up!
67
00:04:10,701 --> 00:04:12,000
♪ If you'll o... ♪
68
00:04:13,937 --> 00:04:15,270
They love me!
69
00:04:17,140 --> 00:04:18,673
What is the matter with you?
70
00:04:18,708 --> 00:04:20,437
You can't enter a room
like a normal person,
71
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,472
let someone sleep? Oh!
72
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:23,807
And who's the guy
wearing the skirt?
73
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,508
That's Jock
McDonough, 14th floor.
74
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:26,493
Isn't he great?
75
00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:29,117
He marched to the
Housing Administration
76
00:04:29,152 --> 00:04:30,296
dressed like that? Oh.
77
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,120
Surprised he didn't
freeze his bagpipes off.
78
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,752
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
79
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:39,244
Every single tenant in this
building marched except you.
80
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,090
Oh, you should have heard us.
81
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,527
"Our pipes all leak,
"our drains all clog,
82
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:47,719
it shouldn't happen to a dog!"
83
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:49,132
In unison! I made that up.
84
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:50,522
It's very catchy.
85
00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:53,558
Listen, the tenants
want to have a rent strike.
86
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:54,704
I have to hold them back.
87
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,010
Felix, what did you accomplish?
88
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:58,780
We saw the proper authorities,
89
00:04:58,815 --> 00:05:00,760
we told them our complaints,
90
00:05:00,784 --> 00:05:03,162
and they've called
Lovelace in before the board.
91
00:05:03,186 --> 00:05:04,948
Boy, is he in big trouble.
92
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,449
I can't believe you got...
93
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,439
Come in. MIRIAM: Felix? Felix?
94
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:08,806
Tell him what marching is.
95
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,253
Tell him all about
it. Guess what?
96
00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:11,687
I just ran into
Mr. Lovelace. Yeah?
97
00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:14,040
And he wants to see you
in his office right away.
98
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,697
Right away?
99
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:16,776
Yeah.
100
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,132
Well, he'll just have to wait
101
00:05:18,168 --> 00:05:20,413
till I get down there, won't he?
102
00:05:20,437 --> 00:05:25,974
I don't think I'll...
I'll make him crawl.
103
00:05:26,009 --> 00:05:30,511
In victory... magnanimity!
104
00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:32,814
I'll make him crawl a little.
105
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,533
Isn't he wonderful?
106
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,413
You really like him,
don't you? Yeah.
107
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:39,671
Listen, I saw what you
gave him at the airport today,
108
00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:41,551
that little hickey right there
when you met him, huh?
109
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:44,135
I didn't meet
him at the airport.
110
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:47,679
It was, uh, a Mr. Hickey
111
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:50,048
he had to meet there.
112
00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:51,828
See, I was testing you. Mm-hmm.
113
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:52,862
I'll see you later. Yeah.
114
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,219
Where you going?
115
00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:55,254
Cut my throat.
116
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,582
Mr. Lovelace?
117
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,551
No Mr. Lovelace.
118
00:06:11,721 --> 00:06:14,989
No wonder the rest
of us don't have water.
119
00:06:15,025 --> 00:06:16,025
Here I am.
120
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,863
Oh.
121
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:24,611
Oh.
122
00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:26,768
I'm sorry.
123
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,687
I'm sorry I took so
long, my darling.
124
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,706
Oh, that's all right.
125
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:32,958
Hmm?
126
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:34,159
Oh, Unger.
127
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,039
I didn't know there was
a human in the room.
128
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,379
Well, whom were you talking to?
129
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:40,532
The gang.
130
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,133
Oh.
131
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,480
Yeah, I've heard that's a very
good idea, talking to plants.
132
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:46,148
Mm. How long have
you been doing that?
133
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:47,683
Oh, for years. Uh-huh.
134
00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:52,043
Except for last month;
we had a little falling out.
135
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,111
That's all patched out now.
136
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,080
I stepped out of line, baby.
137
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:01,185
Well, Mr. Lovelace, can
we get down to cases?
138
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:02,520
Yes.
139
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:04,889
The housing board
mentioned some repairs.
140
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,157
Hmm.
141
00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:07,209
And?
142
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,777
I'm raising the
rent $25 a month.
143
00:07:11,882 --> 00:07:13,248
You are what?!
144
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:16,467
Don't raise your voice
in front of the plants.
145
00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:18,469
Don't let him upset you.
146
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:20,283
The commissioner
ruled that because of
147
00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:23,703
all the improvements I've
made, I am entitled to a rent raise.
148
00:07:23,727 --> 00:07:25,360
What improvements?
149
00:07:25,395 --> 00:07:27,495
The welcome mats, for one.
150
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,697
Big deal, welcome mats.
151
00:07:29,733 --> 00:07:32,133
And also, I painted the lobby,
152
00:07:32,168 --> 00:07:34,046
I bought the doorman
a new uniform,
153
00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:36,404
I redecorated my office,
lots and lots of things.
154
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,768
What about our leaky pipes?
What about our broken windows?
155
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,537
What about the cigarette
butts in the elevator?
156
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:41,876
What about our squeaking door?
157
00:07:41,912 --> 00:07:43,444
I've got them on my list.
158
00:07:43,479 --> 00:07:44,879
But first things first.
159
00:07:44,915 --> 00:07:45,880
What comes first?
160
00:07:45,916 --> 00:07:46,916
The rent.
161
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:53,204
Mr. Lovelace, I've been having
a certain amount of difficulty
162
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:55,373
holding the tenants in check.
163
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:58,204
When they hear about this,
the fur is really going to fly.
164
00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,527
Yeah?
165
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,624
What can they do about it?
166
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,910
How does a rent strike grab you?
167
00:08:06,536 --> 00:08:07,536
You hear that?
168
00:08:09,372 --> 00:08:12,473
You call a rent strike,
and I'll cut off all services.
169
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:14,809
You cut off all
services ages ago!
170
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,828
You're a troublemaker, Unger.
171
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,474
And darned proud of it.
172
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,044
This country was
founded by troublemakers.
173
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,534
Millions for defense,
not one cent for tribute!
174
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:24,885
We're going to win this fight.
175
00:08:32,062 --> 00:08:33,062
He's a nut.
176
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,428
We've been singing all day.
177
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:41,730
How long are we supposed
to go on like this? Folks...
178
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,918
Lovelace is scared.
179
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,652
This rent strike
is going to work.
180
00:08:46,676 --> 00:08:50,478
Look, he turned off
the heat... So what?
181
00:08:50,513 --> 00:08:53,815
He turned off our
water... So what?
182
00:08:53,850 --> 00:08:55,762
We're going to go over his head!
183
00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:56,985
Yeah, but how?
184
00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:58,648
Nobody even knows
who owns this building.
185
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,901
Right. And that's why I've
called in Officer Greshler.
186
00:09:01,925 --> 00:09:04,203
He's my chief bloodhound.
187
00:09:04,227 --> 00:09:06,022
We're counting on
you, Officer Greshler.
188
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,813
You can keep on counting, Felix.
189
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:11,583
We want you to find out who
the owner of this building is.
190
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:14,178
Want to give me a
description of the man?
191
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:19,123
If I knew what-what he
looked like, I'd know who he is.
192
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:21,371
Another blind alley.
193
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,939
Folks, go back to
your apartments.
194
00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:25,107
Go in good cheer.
195
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:27,109
Go in confidence.
We're going to win.
196
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,033
Are we doing the right thing?
197
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,312
Yes, we're doing...
I'm freezing!
198
00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:31,681
No, you're not
freezing. Yes, I am!
199
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,004
Remember Valley Forge.
200
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:34,972
Nobody's cold,
nobody's suffering.
201
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,769
We can stand it. We're fine.
202
00:09:39,228 --> 00:09:42,108
It's c... It's cold. It's cold.
203
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:45,016
It's cold.
204
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:46,429
It's a little brisk.
205
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,164
No, it's not brisk, it's
cold, it's really cold.
206
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,499
It's cold.
207
00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:51,334
Lovelace turned off
the heat. Yes, I know.
208
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,757
Isn't that great?
209
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:53,758
He's scared.
210
00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:55,360
Yeah, I'm scared, too.
211
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:56,561
I'm scared stiff.
212
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,846
Felix, my room is freezing!
213
00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:00,042
Well, good, it'll keep
things fresh in there.
214
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,829
Felix, you see that? Yeah.
215
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,531
Well, when that defrosts
enough to make a fist,
216
00:10:05,555 --> 00:10:06,821
you better get out of my sight!
217
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,305
What are you doing?
218
00:10:12,329 --> 00:10:17,031
Let me have 20 minutes at
350, then turn me over, okay?
219
00:10:17,066 --> 00:10:18,066
Oh!
220
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:21,753
Yes? Yes? Come in.
221
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:24,984
We're here for the
door, Mr. Unger.
222
00:10:25,008 --> 00:10:26,273
Ah.
223
00:10:26,309 --> 00:10:27,854
It's all yours.
224
00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:29,894
Oscar! OSCAR: Yeah?
225
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:30,895
Come here!
226
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,191
What?
227
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:34,315
We have won!
228
00:10:34,350 --> 00:10:35,549
He's going to give us heat?
229
00:10:35,585 --> 00:10:37,852
I'm going to call
your newspaper.
230
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,188
Well, if I were you, I'd
wait for the next edition.
231
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:41,334
What are you doing?
232
00:10:41,358 --> 00:10:44,459
Oh, Lovelace told us
to take away your door.
233
00:10:44,494 --> 00:10:47,005
Uh, nothing personal, Mr. Unger.
234
00:10:47,029 --> 00:10:49,964
I hope you won't hold this
against us at Christmastime.
235
00:10:52,502 --> 00:10:54,168
Mr. Fafner.
236
00:10:54,203 --> 00:10:55,336
Come back here.
237
00:10:55,372 --> 00:10:57,638
You-you can't take our door.
238
00:10:57,674 --> 00:10:58,639
Bring back my door.
239
00:10:58,675 --> 00:11:00,007
What about Christmas?
240
00:11:00,042 --> 00:11:03,478
Where are we
gonna hang a wreath?
241
00:11:03,513 --> 00:11:04,524
You see what he did?
242
00:11:04,548 --> 00:11:05,729
He fixed the squeak.
243
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,935
We're-we're utterly defenseless.
244
00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:12,231
We'll have to stand guard.
245
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,815
Any kook can walk right in.
246
00:11:28,471 --> 00:11:31,372
Come in, Murray!
247
00:11:31,408 --> 00:11:32,651
What's the matter,
you forget something?
248
00:11:32,675 --> 00:11:34,303
No, no. I made a
quick phone call,
249
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,255
and I got a good lead.
Yeah, what? What?
250
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:39,080
This building is owned by
somebody in show business.
251
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:41,799
Now, I can't divulge who
it is until all the facts are in.
252
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,813
Aha. Just-just tell us his name.
253
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:46,081
Well, that's one of the
facts that isn't in yet.
254
00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:47,716
But I'm working on it.
255
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:48,901
Murray? Yeah, yeah.
256
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:51,270
Don't you want to know
what happened to our door?
257
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:54,162
I can only work on
one case at a time.
258
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,687
Add quite a smidgen
259
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,289
of garlic powder,
salt and thyme.
260
00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:07,324
Thank you very much.
261
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:10,995
Changing of the guard.
262
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:12,708
May have some cool polar air
263
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,566
in the region of the north
country press slowly southward
264
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:18,403
to cover the northern
two-thirds of the nation.
265
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,971
High winds swept the north
and middle-Atlantic states
266
00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:23,140
to the rear of
the Atlantic storm
267
00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:25,410
that provided a
chilly, blustery day,
268
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,378
as winter staged a return visit.
269
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:37,354
♪ ♪
270
00:12:48,718 --> 00:12:50,384
Oscar.
271
00:12:50,419 --> 00:12:52,620
Oscar!
272
00:12:52,656 --> 00:12:54,622
What, what's the matter?
273
00:12:54,658 --> 00:12:55,957
What happened?
274
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,391
What happened with what?
275
00:12:57,426 --> 00:13:00,444
Where's our furniture?
Where's our TV set?
276
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:06,867
Wow.
277
00:13:08,604 --> 00:13:10,788
You miss one payment...
278
00:13:12,575 --> 00:13:14,325
We were robbed.
279
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,977
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is not a zoo.
280
00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:35,023
Felix, they've taken
away all our doors.
281
00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:36,392
We can't live without doors.
282
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:37,627
We're living without furniture.
283
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,829
There is not a single
door in this entire building.
284
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,196
A lot of us have been robbed.
285
00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:42,319
The police are on it.
286
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:43,565
They're going to
find everything.
287
00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:44,600
Believe me. You told us
288
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,052
you were gonna
handle Mr. Lovelace.
289
00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:47,920
And I am, I'm going
down there right now.
290
00:13:47,944 --> 00:13:50,778
I'm gonna tear that
man limb from limb.
291
00:13:50,814 --> 00:13:52,947
Hello, how are you?
292
00:13:52,982 --> 00:13:55,849
Tenants, I have an announcement.
293
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,382
After much consideration,
294
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:02,819
management has
decided to settle the strike.
295
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:05,905
You did it, Unger!
296
00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:08,374
We're gonna give
you your doors back
297
00:14:08,398 --> 00:14:10,076
and turn the heat back on.
298
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,133
There will be no rent increase.
299
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:23,572
But... nobody gets
any of those things
300
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:27,315
unless Felix Unger
moves out of this building.
301
00:14:52,575 --> 00:14:55,135
You want me to help
you with something else?
302
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,478
What's the matter?
303
00:14:56,512 --> 00:14:58,207
I'm not moving
fast enough for you?
304
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:01,565
Oh, come on, Felix, I'm sorry
I yelled, "Hooray, hooray."
305
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,634
It was one of those
involuntary things.
306
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:04,985
Where you gonna go?
307
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,603
I don't know.
308
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:09,206
Where do martyrs go?
309
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,442
Somewhere in
this heartless city,
310
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,255
there must be a
lowly bed for me.
311
00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:15,308
"Room and bath,
buck and a half..."
312
00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:17,009
Oh, no, Felix, don't do that.
313
00:15:17,033 --> 00:15:18,411
You can't make me feel guilty.
314
00:15:18,435 --> 00:15:20,446
You walked into this
with your eyes wide open.
315
00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:22,515
I said to you, "Don't get
involved, you'll be sorry."
316
00:15:22,539 --> 00:15:23,582
Didn't I tell you so?
317
00:15:23,606 --> 00:15:26,006
Oscar, all those times
you went to the track
318
00:15:26,042 --> 00:15:27,408
and I told you not to go
319
00:15:27,444 --> 00:15:28,621
'cause you couldn't
afford to lose
320
00:15:28,645 --> 00:15:30,678
and you came back dead broke
321
00:15:30,713 --> 00:15:33,413
and you got those threatening
letters from Blanche's lawyer,
322
00:15:33,449 --> 00:15:37,034
did I ever once say
to you, "I told you so"?
323
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,553
Yeah, always.
324
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,370
Well, no matter.
325
00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:42,740
I didn't let you
go to jail, did I?
326
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,252
I lent you the money, didn't I?
327
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,288
It's money I'll never
see again, that's for sure.
328
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:47,511
Yeah, but that's nothing.
329
00:15:47,546 --> 00:15:48,713
It's easy to lend money,
330
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,343
but there's nothing
I can do about this.
331
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,799
No, no, of course not.
332
00:15:51,835 --> 00:15:55,236
What is expected
of a friend? Nothing.
333
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:58,956
You're a lucky man, Oscar.
334
00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:01,576
You're getting rid of Felix,
and it's not even on your head.
335
00:16:02,812 --> 00:16:05,445
Lovelace is doing
your dirty work for you.
336
00:16:05,481 --> 00:16:07,347
Oh, talk all you want.
337
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,794
You're not gonna
make me feel guilty,
338
00:16:08,818 --> 00:16:09,829
'cause it's not my fault.
339
00:16:09,853 --> 00:16:10,818
Nothing I can do about it.
340
00:16:10,854 --> 00:16:14,722
♪ Look down, look down ♪
341
00:16:14,757 --> 00:16:18,876
♪ That lonesome road ♪
342
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:23,064
♪ With no one to say... ♪
343
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,351
Shh, shh, shh.
344
00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:33,815
Mr. Lovelace... Shh.
345
00:16:33,843 --> 00:16:36,010
I'm trying to get them to sleep.
346
00:16:39,515 --> 00:16:42,194
You're Madison, right? Yeah.
347
00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:43,818
I never forget a tenant.
348
00:16:43,853 --> 00:16:45,919
You room with that
troublemaker, Unger.
349
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:46,938
Yeah. Yeah.
350
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,150
Remember him? Ah, come on.
351
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,535
Aren't you being a
little harsh with Felix?
352
00:16:49,559 --> 00:16:50,691
No.
353
00:16:50,726 --> 00:16:52,726
He stirs up the other tenants.
354
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,695
And he shouted at my geraniums.
355
00:16:54,730 --> 00:16:55,908
So he gets carried away...
356
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,499
He should get carried
away in a basket.
357
00:16:58,535 --> 00:17:01,903
Any man who wipes his
shoes before going outside...
358
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,003
So he likes clean.
359
00:17:03,039 --> 00:17:04,683
That's no reason
to throw a man out
360
00:17:04,707 --> 00:17:06,002
without a minute's
notice, is it?
361
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,004
I mean, look, I'll
tell you the truth.
362
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,071
Shh, shh. Oh, I'm sorry.
363
00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:10,061
I'm very sorry.
364
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:11,173
I'll level with you.
365
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,408
See, I've been waiting for years
366
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:14,560
to get rid of him
myself, but not like this.
367
00:17:14,584 --> 00:17:16,429
Why don't we give
him a couple of months,
368
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:17,751
maybe to find someplace else,
369
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,798
or maybe he'll even go
back with his wife, see?
370
00:17:19,822 --> 00:17:21,434
He'll be gone, and
we'll all be happy.
371
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:22,757
Yeah, well, the gang and I
372
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:25,058
will be happy only if
he's gone by tonight.
373
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:29,346
Wait a minute, I came down
here to work this out reasonably.
374
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,493
You gotta give a little.
375
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,249
No, you... you don't understand.
376
00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:33,384
I'm the manager.
377
00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:35,052
What I say goes.
378
00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:37,237
And the next thing
that goes may be you.
379
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:41,492
Hey, you're loony,
Lovelace, you know that?
380
00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:43,038
You treat people
like they're plants
381
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,328
and plants like they're people.
382
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,647
I'm glad they weren't
awake to hear that.
383
00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:49,661
Yeah, well, Felix
and I are staying.
384
00:17:49,685 --> 00:17:51,668
What do you think of that?
385
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,182
The other tenants
aren't gonna like it
386
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,606
because no one gets heat
or doors until he's gone.
387
00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:58,959
Your nice neighbors are
gonna turn into an angry mob.
388
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:01,395
Yeah, well, we're gonna
stay, and that's that.
389
00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:03,297
Yeah... boo! Don't! Shh!
390
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,576
Everybody up!!
391
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:05,799
Rise and shine!
392
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,779
Drop your roots
and grab your ferns!
393
00:18:07,803 --> 00:18:09,070
Everybody, here we go!
394
00:18:09,105 --> 00:18:10,771
That's an expectant mother!
395
00:18:10,806 --> 00:18:14,308
Shh, shh, shh.
396
00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:15,742
You really told him off.
397
00:18:15,778 --> 00:18:16,822
You know I did.
398
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,223
You lost your temper? Yes, sir.
399
00:18:18,247 --> 00:18:20,014
That's great!
400
00:18:20,049 --> 00:18:21,893
You woke up his flowers,
though, huh? Yes, sir.
401
00:18:21,917 --> 00:18:23,128
Oh, you shouldn't
have done that.
402
00:18:23,152 --> 00:18:25,019
Well, he got me mad.
403
00:18:25,054 --> 00:18:26,698
The important thing is
you're staying anyway.
404
00:18:26,722 --> 00:18:29,156
Oh, this is just... it's just...
405
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:32,955
You're top drawer
in my chiffonier.
406
00:18:35,798 --> 00:18:37,642
I'm gonna go tell the
tenants. No, no, no, no!
407
00:18:37,666 --> 00:18:39,178
I wouldn't do that
if I were you. Why?
408
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:40,545
Well, Felix, it's
gonna be very difficult
409
00:18:40,569 --> 00:18:42,364
for you to talk with
their fists in your mouth.
410
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:43,866
What do you... what do you mean?
411
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,255
Well, nothing has changed.
412
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,331
You stay, they don't get
doors, they don't get heat.
413
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:48,359
They may get violent.
414
00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:50,961
That big bully.
415
00:18:50,996 --> 00:18:52,708
Well, now he's going to find out
416
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,042
the meaning of solidarity.
417
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:56,033
We've got wonderful
people in this building.
418
00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:57,245
They're gonna rally behind me.
419
00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:58,703
You see, here's Mrs. Osgood.
420
00:18:58,738 --> 00:18:59,703
Hi.
421
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,255
Get out!
422
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:05,792
Get out while you
have the chance, pinko.
423
00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:12,733
You think the mob
will attack tonight?
424
00:19:19,041 --> 00:19:20,741
It's quiet out there.
425
00:19:20,776 --> 00:19:22,676
Yeah, too quiet.
426
00:19:24,347 --> 00:19:26,525
Saw this scene in a movie once.
427
00:19:26,549 --> 00:19:28,527
It happened to Randolph Scott.
428
00:19:28,551 --> 00:19:29,984
He didn't pay his rent?
429
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,339
Yes?
430
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:37,252
Felix, it's me.
431
00:19:37,276 --> 00:19:38,276
Miriam?
432
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:39,521
Yeah.
433
00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:40,778
This is a trick.
434
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,713
Oh, come on, will you?
435
00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:44,626
How do... how do I
know it's you, Miriam?
436
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:45,783
I need proof.
437
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:48,686
Okay, remember the
night in the tunnel of love
438
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,532
in Far Rockaway? Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
439
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:52,033
All right, it's you,
you can come in.
440
00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:53,891
Come underneath. Yeah.
441
00:19:55,261 --> 00:19:56,560
Oh, my goodness.
442
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:57,595
Watch your head.
443
00:19:57,630 --> 00:20:00,097
Miriam, what we do on a date
444
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:01,415
is private business.
445
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:02,845
How would you
like it if I told...
446
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:03,834
Felix, will you knock it off!
447
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,280
I just wanted to be with you.
448
00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:06,965
You've got an angry
mob in this building.
449
00:20:06,989 --> 00:20:09,840
Oh, Miriam, you ran
that gauntlet for me?
450
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:12,654
All right, Unger!
451
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:14,111
You've got one minute!
452
00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:16,091
Miriam, there's something
I've got to tell you.
453
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,692
Something happened in Baltimore.
454
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,428
It didn't mean
anything at all to me.
455
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:20,996
I was lonely in a strange town.
456
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,553
A man has needs, Miriam.
457
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:24,299
Felix, this is not the time.
458
00:20:25,842 --> 00:20:28,170
You come out or we're coming in!
459
00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:30,861
No, you're not, no, you're not!
460
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:36,400
Get him out of here!
461
00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:37,913
Let's throw him out!
462
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:39,386
You two... Shut up!
463
00:20:39,421 --> 00:20:41,721
There's the man who
made you live like animals
464
00:20:41,757 --> 00:20:43,890
in the freezing
cold without doors.
465
00:20:43,926 --> 00:20:44,992
Let's beat him up.
466
00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:47,956
Yeah! All right.
467
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,425
We're wasting time,
let's move their stuff.
468
00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:52,311
Wait a minute here. You
take your hands off that!
469
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:55,018
How can you people
turn against Felix?
470
00:20:55,053 --> 00:20:57,220
Doesn't anybody here
have a conscience?
471
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,556
You, Mrs. Osgood, when
one of your cats was missing,
472
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,252
who went out in
the rain and found it?
473
00:21:01,276 --> 00:21:02,676
Who almost caught pneumonia
474
00:21:02,712 --> 00:21:04,445
pulling it down from the tree?
475
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:05,562
And you, Mrs. Gossett,
476
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,114
when your daughter got married,
477
00:21:07,150 --> 00:21:09,228
why, the groom's side of
the family was so cheap,
478
00:21:09,252 --> 00:21:10,562
they wouldn't kick
in for anything,
479
00:21:10,586 --> 00:21:12,147
who took the wedding
pictures for nothing?
480
00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:14,165
Yeah and they were nice, too.
481
00:21:14,189 --> 00:21:15,273
Yeah.
482
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:17,642
And you, Mr. Ralston,
when you got that ulcer
483
00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:19,277
from that crazy job at the zoo,
484
00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:20,344
who cooked for you?
485
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:22,229
Who taught you how
to coddle an egg?
486
00:21:22,264 --> 00:21:24,332
And this week, when
you needed a leader,
487
00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:25,977
who batted his
brains out for you?
488
00:21:26,001 --> 00:21:27,212
Felix Unger, and
now you're gonna
489
00:21:27,236 --> 00:21:28,814
help this man to throw him out!
490
00:21:28,838 --> 00:21:30,349
I don't believe it, I
just don't believe it.
491
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:31,650
Where do you get off
492
00:21:31,674 --> 00:21:33,151
throwing our leader
out of the building?
493
00:21:33,175 --> 00:21:34,508
Yeah! Right!
494
00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:35,721
Let's beat him up.
495
00:21:35,745 --> 00:21:36,977
That's a good idea.
496
00:21:37,012 --> 00:21:38,579
All right.
497
00:21:38,614 --> 00:21:42,249
But if you stand with
them, you stand in the cold.
498
00:21:48,825 --> 00:21:50,057
This is an impasse.
499
00:21:50,093 --> 00:21:54,011
It's a case of an
irresistible force
500
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:56,764
meeting an immovable object.
501
00:21:56,799 --> 00:21:59,466
It would take the wisdom
of Solomon to solve this.
502
00:21:59,502 --> 00:22:01,402
Hold it.
503
00:22:01,437 --> 00:22:04,054
I've solved the case.
504
00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:07,157
Look, he showed up
just like the cavalry.
505
00:22:07,192 --> 00:22:09,112
Yeah, will you
look at that bugle.
506
00:22:13,849 --> 00:22:15,260
I went through
every conglomerate
507
00:22:15,284 --> 00:22:17,718
and every big holding
company and I finally
508
00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:20,988
tracked down the owner of this
building and it's a big TV star.
509
00:22:21,023 --> 00:22:22,934
I bet it's David Janssen. Oh?
510
00:22:22,958 --> 00:22:24,841
Meet Rodney Allen Rippy.
511
00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:32,382
How do you like that?
512
00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:33,929
I am Mr. Rippy's attorney.
513
00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:35,280
Which one of you is Lovelace?
514
00:22:35,304 --> 00:22:36,920
I am.
515
00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:40,323
Yes, well, Mr. Rippy has
something to say to you.
516
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:41,475
You're fired.
517
00:22:45,381 --> 00:22:47,926
You'll get your
severance pay in the mail.
518
00:22:47,950 --> 00:22:50,496
Please be off the
premises by noon tomorrow.
519
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,330
What am I going
to tell the plants?
520
00:22:52,354 --> 00:22:54,234
They always know when I'm lying.
521
00:22:54,924 --> 00:22:56,435
Mr. Rippy would like you to know
522
00:22:56,459 --> 00:22:58,303
that had he been aware
of the situation sooner,
523
00:22:58,327 --> 00:22:59,905
he would have
come into it sooner.
524
00:22:59,929 --> 00:23:02,040
Now, you're all going
to get your doors back.
525
00:23:02,064 --> 00:23:03,742
There will be no rent increase,
526
00:23:03,766 --> 00:23:05,543
and you'll have free
hamburgers for a month.
527
00:23:08,704 --> 00:23:12,139
In the kitchen... Free
cookies and milk on me!
528
00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:17,144
How does a small child like
this come to own a big building?
529
00:23:17,179 --> 00:23:18,762
Tax shelter.
530
00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:22,944
I think we've finished
our business here.
531
00:23:22,968 --> 00:23:27,604
Maybe we should have turned
this place into a condominium.
532
00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:39,282
Well, right triumphs
over might after all.
533
00:23:39,317 --> 00:23:40,612
Come on, let's have
some milk and cookies.
534
00:23:40,636 --> 00:23:42,281
No, no, no. Let's take
a walk around the block.
535
00:23:42,305 --> 00:23:43,648
I want to hear what
happened in Baltimore
536
00:23:43,672 --> 00:23:45,022
with the hickey and everything.
537
00:23:45,057 --> 00:23:49,059
I was sitting in the coffee
shop... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
538
00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:50,727
This girl came up to join me.
539
00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:54,764
She had the biggest...
Get out of here!
540
00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:01,772
Come in.
541
00:24:07,479 --> 00:24:09,263
You wanted to see
us, Mr. Lovelace?
542
00:24:09,298 --> 00:24:10,731
Yes.
543
00:24:10,766 --> 00:24:13,834
As you know, I'm leaving.
544
00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:16,553
I've lost my political
base in this building.
545
00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:22,426
But before I go, I want
you to know I'm sorry
546
00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:24,377
things got so far out of hand.
547
00:24:24,413 --> 00:24:28,432
Well, we're not angry, are we?
548
00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:29,478
I don't hold any grudges.
549
00:24:29,502 --> 00:24:30,868
They recovered our furniture.
550
00:24:30,903 --> 00:24:33,703
Let bygones be bygones.
551
00:24:33,739 --> 00:24:35,172
You're both happy?
552
00:24:35,207 --> 00:24:36,251
Yeah. Yeah.
553
00:24:36,275 --> 00:24:37,308
That's good.
554
00:24:37,343 --> 00:24:39,076
Okay, gang... kill!
555
00:24:39,111 --> 00:24:40,644
Kill! Kill! Get 'em!
556
00:24:42,381 --> 00:24:43,697
Ah, it's just my little joke.
557
00:24:43,733 --> 00:24:45,415
Oh.
39299
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