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1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:05,087
Pick up your jacket.
Clean up your room.
2
00:00:05,122 --> 00:00:07,923
Eat your broccoli.
Wash your hands...
3
00:00:07,958 --> 00:00:09,770
Not in the kitchen.
Do it in the bathroom.
4
00:00:09,794 --> 00:00:11,527
Where'd you get the picture?
5
00:00:11,562 --> 00:00:15,402
Don't you remember? He gave it to
me when I let him move in with me.
6
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,282
Can I have a shot?
7
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:18,934
Yeah, aim for his sinuses.
8
00:00:19,970 --> 00:00:22,438
Oh, I got his chin.
9
00:00:22,473 --> 00:00:24,117
Oh, by the way,
here are your tickets.
10
00:00:24,141 --> 00:00:26,508
Tickets to what?
Theater tickets.
11
00:00:26,544 --> 00:00:29,072
The boss said the
off-Broadway critic is ill.
12
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:30,446
Send him a get-well card.
13
00:00:30,481 --> 00:00:32,909
No. You have to cover the
opening of the new play tonight.
14
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,300
Oh, I'm a sportswriter.
I'm not a theater critic.
15
00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,135
Tell him I'm not going to do it.
16
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,136
You tell him.
17
00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:39,538
You're my secretary!
18
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:40,972
It's his paper.
19
00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:43,308
It has to be in by
midnight. Midnight?
20
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:45,588
And he says you'd better
give it your best shot.
21
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:47,345
What does he
think? I can't do it?
22
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,331
I'll write a review that'll
knock his socks off.
23
00:00:49,366 --> 00:00:51,678
Like you did when you
reviewed the flower show?
24
00:00:51,702 --> 00:00:52,918
What was the matter with that?
25
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:56,054
"They smell good"?
26
00:00:56,089 --> 00:00:57,423
Well, they did.
27
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:08,667
"I Never Saw a Mockingbird
That Laughed at a Painted Dog.
28
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:13,238
A musical fable by
Brice Longfellow."
29
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:16,341
I can't even
understand the tickets.
30
00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:19,277
That's all I need...
More aggravation.
31
00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:22,013
I'll write a bad review
and then he'll fire me.
32
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:24,115
Where am I gonna find a sucker
33
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:26,271
that I can con into
doing this for... me...?
34
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:07,125
♪ ♪
35
00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:41,193
♪ ♪
36
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:55,373
The Odd Couple was filmed
in front of a live audience.
37
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,014
You know, Felix, I
was looking fondly
38
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,949
at that thank-you
picture you gave me,
39
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:06,084
and I thought, all the
things you do for me.
40
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:08,064
Look, you cook for
me. You clean for me.
41
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:10,233
All I do is complain and
make trouble for you.
42
00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:11,568
I'm not going to do it anymore.
43
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,152
I'm going to appreciate
you from now on.
44
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:21,817
I don't know what to
say, you-you big galoot.
45
00:03:21,852 --> 00:03:23,785
Don't say anything.
46
00:03:23,821 --> 00:03:25,865
Just let me sit here
and hate myself.
47
00:03:25,889 --> 00:03:27,901
I'm going to start
making it up right now.
48
00:03:27,925 --> 00:03:30,403
Look, I got tickets for
us for the theater tonight.
49
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:31,626
Oh, I can't go.
50
00:03:31,661 --> 00:03:32,672
Why not?
51
00:03:32,696 --> 00:03:34,129
I've got a date
with Miriam tonight.
52
00:03:34,164 --> 00:03:35,341
Where you going?
53
00:03:35,365 --> 00:03:37,243
You know us: we're
the now generation.
54
00:03:37,267 --> 00:03:39,918
We don't make plans.
We go, baby. We swing.
55
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:42,921
But see, these are tickets
for an opening tonight.
56
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:46,391
Yeah, but as I said,
I've got a date. I can't go.
57
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:48,404
Hey, why don't you
take Miriam with you.
58
00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:49,560
Oh, no, no, I couldn't.
59
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:51,274
Oh, please, let
me do it for you.
60
00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:52,775
Then I won't hate
myself so much.
61
00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,198
Please, buddy.
62
00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,639
I'm so ashamed.
63
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,691
You're a... you're a real
person, you know that?
64
00:04:02,726 --> 00:04:04,737
Look, I want you
to enjoy yourself
65
00:04:04,761 --> 00:04:05,972
and look at
everything very closely.
66
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,640
I want to share
it with you, okay?
67
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,698
I'll tell you all about
it when I get home.
68
00:04:09,733 --> 00:04:11,844
Yes. And make sure you come
home before midnight. Why?
69
00:04:11,868 --> 00:04:14,235
Well, it's very dangerous
out there after midnight.
70
00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:16,204
I worry about you.
71
00:04:20,811 --> 00:04:23,095
You're a pussycat.
You know that?
72
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:27,699
Hey, I'd better call
Miriam and tell her. Okay.
73
00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:30,769
Eat your broccoli. Yeah.
74
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,565
You spilled
something on your tie.
75
00:04:32,589 --> 00:04:34,822
Wipe it off. Use your napkin.
76
00:04:36,393 --> 00:04:38,593
Eat your dinner.
It's going to get cold.
77
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:56,054
It's 11:30. Where've you been?
78
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,049
I've been to the theater.
79
00:05:01,084 --> 00:05:02,729
The show broke two hours ago.
80
00:05:02,753 --> 00:05:04,653
So? We went out
for a bite to eat.
81
00:05:04,688 --> 00:05:07,183
Who said you you could
go out for a bite to eat?
82
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,085
I just told you could
go to the theater.
83
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,809
What's wrong with you?
84
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:13,178
I paid for the food.
85
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,158
Listen, how'd you like the play?
86
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:17,883
Hmm... What do
you mean? What...?
87
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:22,287
How do you write, "Hmm"?
88
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:25,902
Felix, it's a quarter to 12:00.
89
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,170
I want to talk to you.
90
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,161
Well, come in.
91
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,274
Felix, do you think
it's fair? Hmm?
92
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:33,342
A man spends years
writing a musical fable
93
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:34,666
and you go "hmm."
94
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,713
Don't you think you
ought to embellish it?
95
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,464
Shouldn't you have
more respect for the artist?
96
00:05:38,488 --> 00:05:40,033
Respect for the artist? Yeah.
97
00:05:40,057 --> 00:05:41,968
The last time I took
you to the theater,
98
00:05:41,992 --> 00:05:43,519
you went... to Helen Hayes.
99
00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:45,043
Well, a man can change.
100
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:46,444
I love her now.
101
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,745
I want to get some culture.
102
00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:49,464
Will you tell me about it?
103
00:05:49,499 --> 00:05:52,533
Well, I thought the part
of the alcoholic nephew
104
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:55,003
was very well
portrayed by Werner...
105
00:05:55,038 --> 00:05:56,737
Werner who?
106
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,373
Werner Klemperer?
107
00:05:58,408 --> 00:06:00,053
Werner Von Braun? Werner who?
108
00:06:00,077 --> 00:06:01,154
Smith. Werner who?
109
00:06:01,178 --> 00:06:03,278
Werner Smith. Werner Smith?
110
00:06:03,313 --> 00:06:05,491
All right, all right, now,
the drugstore's closed.
111
00:06:05,515 --> 00:06:07,615
I want to know
all about the play,
112
00:06:07,650 --> 00:06:10,218
And I want you to sum up
in one paragraph and fast.
113
00:06:10,253 --> 00:06:11,330
One paragraph? Yes.
114
00:06:11,354 --> 00:06:13,421
Well, it's like Oklahoma,
115
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:16,235
only it uses symbolism to tell the
story of America's growth. Symbolism...
116
00:06:16,259 --> 00:06:18,659
Yeah. Oklahoma...
117
00:06:18,695 --> 00:06:21,329
I particularly liked
the use of six dwarfs
118
00:06:21,364 --> 00:06:22,641
to represent New Jersey...
119
00:06:22,665 --> 00:06:24,543
All the cities. Six
dwarfs in New Jersey.
120
00:06:24,567 --> 00:06:25,812
I thought that was very clever.
121
00:06:25,836 --> 00:06:27,263
Trenton got two
standing ovations.
122
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:30,155
Trenton... six dwarfs,
New Jersey, Oklahoma...
123
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,234
The scenery was... Was what?
124
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,368
Was what?! Was what?!
125
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,425
What was it?!
126
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:34,959
Striking.
127
00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:36,105
Striking scenery...
striking scenery...
128
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:37,462
got six dwarfs and you got...
129
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:39,325
The lyrics were saucy.
Saucy lyrics, saucy lyrics.
130
00:06:39,349 --> 00:06:42,684
And I thought the acting
had both verve and panache.
131
00:06:42,719 --> 00:06:44,959
That's all I'm going to
need. Thank you very much.
132
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:49,107
Good night, fella.
133
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,174
Copy desk.
134
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,450
Yeah, hi, Frank. This is Oscar.
135
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,089
Yeah, I just got
back from the show.
136
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:56,581
Well, I stopped to
have a bite to eat.
137
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:57,666
Okay, here it comes.
138
00:06:57,701 --> 00:07:00,635
Oklahoma, move over.
139
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,837
Last night saucy lyrics flowed
140
00:07:02,873 --> 00:07:04,917
from Brice Longfellow's
pen in what may prove to be
141
00:07:04,941 --> 00:07:06,341
the surprise hit of the season.
142
00:07:06,376 --> 00:07:10,445
The acting had...
verve and panache.
143
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,181
"Panache."
144
00:07:13,217 --> 00:07:14,549
What are you doing?
145
00:07:14,584 --> 00:07:16,696
Just reading your
theater review.
146
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,270
You've already
read it eight times.
147
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:20,272
I know. I love it.
148
00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:21,857
It's so well written.
149
00:07:21,892 --> 00:07:23,691
I know.
150
00:07:23,727 --> 00:07:25,305
How does it feel
sitting in the theater
151
00:07:25,329 --> 00:07:26,639
knowing you're going
to review the play?
152
00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:28,029
I don't want to talk about it.
153
00:07:28,065 --> 00:07:29,464
I said I could do it.
154
00:07:29,499 --> 00:07:31,510
I proved I could, so I
don't want to talk about it.
155
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:32,545
Let's drop it, okay?
156
00:07:34,771 --> 00:07:36,938
Mr. Madison's office.
157
00:07:36,973 --> 00:07:38,673
Yes, sir.
158
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:39,941
It's the boss.
159
00:07:39,976 --> 00:07:41,460
Yes, Mr. Williams.
160
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:44,162
Well, thank you very much, sir.
161
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,230
Well, I'm glad you...
162
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:49,668
Yes, I'm very
glad you enjoyed...
163
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:54,889
Yeah, but... Yeah,
but... Yeah, but...
164
00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:58,610
Yeah, but...
165
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:03,982
Whatever pleases
you, sir... Thank you.
166
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,235
He loved it?
167
00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:08,881
So much that I'm
going to be doing it
168
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,950
for the next three weeks till
the regular critic gets back.
169
00:08:10,974 --> 00:08:13,308
Oh, boy, am I proud.
170
00:08:13,343 --> 00:08:15,243
A theater critic.
171
00:08:15,278 --> 00:08:18,029
Now I can hold my head
up high at the water cooler.
172
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,531
What's the matter?
173
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,294
Up to now you were
ashamed of me?
174
00:08:21,318 --> 00:08:23,568
Yeah.
175
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,589
Myrna, can I trust you?
176
00:08:27,624 --> 00:08:31,042
Mr. M, don't say anything that
will diminish you in my eyes.
177
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:32,210
Then forget it.
178
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,946
Good. You're not diminished.
179
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,280
Stop the presses!
180
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,327
What are you doing
here? Hi, Mr. Unger.
181
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,029
Just came by to
take you to lunch.
182
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,263
You too, Myrna. Great.
183
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:42,987
I want to thank you
184
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,951
for those wonderful theater
tickets last night. Don't mention it.
185
00:08:44,975 --> 00:08:46,942
Did you go to the
play with Mr. M?
186
00:08:46,977 --> 00:08:48,554
Yeah, well, he
didn't... he didn't go.
187
00:08:48,578 --> 00:08:49,811
I took Miriam.
188
00:08:49,846 --> 00:08:51,512
Boy, am I hungry. Let's go.
189
00:08:51,548 --> 00:08:52,892
You didn't go to the theater?
190
00:08:52,916 --> 00:08:54,182
No, but I think he's sorry
191
00:08:54,217 --> 00:08:56,201
because he asked me a
million questions about it.
192
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,169
Was he interested!
193
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:01,790
I just remembered we have a lot of
work to do. You just said you were hungry.
194
00:09:01,825 --> 00:09:04,159
Well, I am hungry, so why
don't you go down to Kelly's.
195
00:09:04,194 --> 00:09:05,271
You order for us, okay?
196
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:06,761
And then we'll be
down just in time.
197
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:08,046
Are you mad at me? No!
198
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,848
Is Myrna mad at me? No!
199
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,983
Somebody's mad at me. Will ya...
200
00:09:19,075 --> 00:09:21,108
What are you looking at?
201
00:09:22,379 --> 00:09:25,480
Feet of clay.
202
00:09:25,515 --> 00:09:28,683
Feet of cuh-lay.
203
00:09:28,718 --> 00:09:30,569
Leave me alone. I was desperate.
204
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:31,803
What are you going to do,
205
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:33,332
keep sending Mr. Unger
to the theater for you?
206
00:09:33,356 --> 00:09:34,689
Why not? He loves it.
207
00:09:34,724 --> 00:09:36,157
It's dishonest.
208
00:09:36,193 --> 00:09:38,526
Why don't you tell him
the truth? Ask him to help.
209
00:09:38,561 --> 00:09:40,194
Are you crazy?
210
00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:43,231
And get one of Felix's
famous three-hour lectures?
211
00:09:43,266 --> 00:09:46,401
"Pride goeth before a fall.
212
00:09:46,436 --> 00:09:49,470
Oh, what a tangled
web we weave."
213
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,139
And then for his big finish:
214
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:53,508
"Now, I know your
true colors, Oscar."
215
00:09:53,543 --> 00:09:55,643
And then he ends up
not doing it anyway.
216
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:57,879
No, sir, this is going to
be our little secret now.
217
00:09:57,914 --> 00:10:00,615
Okay. Okay.
218
00:10:00,650 --> 00:10:02,662
You know, Mr. M, I've
been typing up your column
219
00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:06,187
for five years and that's the
best thing you've ever written.
220
00:10:06,222 --> 00:10:07,822
Too bad you didn't write it.
221
00:10:09,325 --> 00:10:11,493
I should have known
from "panache."
222
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,227
Will you go already!
223
00:10:25,442 --> 00:10:27,208
Good morning, old buddy.
224
00:10:27,243 --> 00:10:29,310
Hey, listen, before I forget:
225
00:10:29,345 --> 00:10:31,846
I want to give you your
theater tickets for this evening.
226
00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:35,717
Say, I, I'm not so sure I want
to go to the theater tonight.
227
00:10:35,752 --> 00:10:38,352
What are you talking
about? You love the theater.
228
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:40,332
Yeah, but every night
for two weeks in a row.
229
00:10:40,356 --> 00:10:41,956
It's only for one
more week. That's all.
230
00:10:41,991 --> 00:10:43,591
How come?
231
00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:47,128
Well, you know the guy who's
been giving us the tickets? Yeah.
232
00:10:47,163 --> 00:10:48,430
He's dying.
233
00:10:48,465 --> 00:10:50,181
Oh, no.
234
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:51,493
Who knows how many more openings
235
00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:53,768
you're going to be invited
to, you know what I mean?
236
00:10:53,803 --> 00:10:56,704
Yeah, I guess you're right.
237
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,118
I have seen some
good shows, though.
238
00:10:59,142 --> 00:11:00,341
You sure have.
239
00:11:00,377 --> 00:11:02,310
Like that one that
opened Wednesday night.
240
00:11:02,345 --> 00:11:04,979
The musical version of
the Louis-Schmeling fight.
241
00:11:05,014 --> 00:11:06,681
It was really good.
242
00:11:06,716 --> 00:11:07,893
I thought you hated that.
243
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,250
Well, I've been
thinking it over.
244
00:11:09,286 --> 00:11:11,453
There was one song
in there that I liked a lot,
245
00:11:11,488 --> 00:11:13,538
"My Glass Jaw."
246
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:15,173
It was really good. I liked it.
247
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,791
It's too bad the show closed.
248
00:11:16,826 --> 00:11:18,036
Well, what's the
matter with you?
249
00:11:18,060 --> 00:11:20,022
If you liked it, why
didn't you say so?
250
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:21,746
I'm saying so.
251
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:23,347
Now I want to ask you something.
252
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:24,749
Who is your off-Broadway critic?
253
00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:25,917
Hmm?
254
00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:26,935
His column is never signed.
255
00:11:26,970 --> 00:11:29,137
Well, he doesn't like publicity.
256
00:11:29,172 --> 00:11:31,284
See, he's shy. He's a fat
guy with a moustache...
257
00:11:31,308 --> 00:11:32,651
Well, he shouldn't
be. He is brilliant.
258
00:11:32,675 --> 00:11:34,408
This man is brilliant.
259
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,322
Remember last night,
when I came home,
260
00:11:36,346 --> 00:11:37,578
you asked me what I thought.
261
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,525
I said that I thought
the show was pathetic.
262
00:11:39,549 --> 00:11:40,648
I called it stale,
263
00:11:40,683 --> 00:11:42,450
flat, and unprofitable.
Listen to this.
264
00:11:42,485 --> 00:11:45,519
"Last night's effort
was regrettably pathetic.
265
00:11:45,555 --> 00:11:49,290
To me, it was stale,
flat, and unprofitable."
266
00:11:49,326 --> 00:11:50,875
That's a very perceptive critic.
267
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:54,245
Yeah, well, you like him because
he agrees with you; that's all.
268
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,325
Well, that's good enough,
isn't it? Yeah, well...
269
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,816
I'm gonna go shave, okay?
You didn't eat your eggs.
270
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,462
Oh, yeah, listen.
I'll make a sandwich.
271
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:02,481
I'll eat it... Look
what he's doing!
272
00:12:02,505 --> 00:12:04,372
How can you live that way?
273
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,794
Hello.
274
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:11,996
No, I'm sorry.
Oscar's busy right now.
275
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:13,398
Can I take a message?
276
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:17,167
You want his review
in by 11:15 tonight.
277
00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:20,138
All right, I'll tell him. Bye.
278
00:12:35,772 --> 00:12:37,304
Oscar?
279
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,206
Got a minute?
280
00:12:47,384 --> 00:12:48,349
Yeah. You good?
281
00:12:48,385 --> 00:12:49,795
I'm out. Can I talk to you?
282
00:12:49,819 --> 00:12:50,819
Yeah. Come on in.
283
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:53,671
Ahh.
284
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:56,585
Shaving, huh?
285
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,042
Yeah. What is it?
286
00:12:58,077 --> 00:12:59,121
Got a phone call.
287
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:00,145
Take a message?
288
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:01,513
Yeah, yeah.
289
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,031
Who was it? Your editor.
290
00:13:03,066 --> 00:13:04,631
Ow!
291
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:07,513
Ah, you cut yourself, huh?
292
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,803
Yeah, look at me.
293
00:13:08,838 --> 00:13:09,821
What did he want?
294
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:12,656
A little change in plans. Huh?
295
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:14,753
He wants your review
in by 11:15 tonight.
296
00:13:14,777 --> 00:13:16,455
Do you want to
hear a funny story
297
00:13:16,479 --> 00:13:17,506
that happened at
the newspaper...?
298
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:20,198
I know what happened!
299
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,643
You thought you could
make some extra money
300
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,846
by conning your roomie
into doing reviews for you.
301
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,547
Money had nothing
to do with it. Oh, really?
302
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,016
You're not getting
extra money for this?
303
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,917
Yeah, I'm getting a
little bit, but that isn't...
304
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:30,219
No, see, the editor
asked me to do it.
305
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,109
Then it became a challenge.
306
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,543
I had to save face at the paper.
307
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:35,346
Ooh... ooh, Oscar.
308
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:38,516
Pride goeth before a fall.
309
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,750
Here comes the lecture.
310
00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:41,464
Felix, I was only
supposed to do it once...
311
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,199
Mm-hmm... but my first
review was so good...
312
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:44,367
Ah, ah, ah, wait, excuse me.
313
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:45,918
Your first review? Okay,
314
00:13:45,942 --> 00:13:47,286
your first review.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
315
00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:50,211
So they asked me to do it
three times for three weeks.
316
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,446
Well, how could I say no?
317
00:13:51,481 --> 00:13:54,616
Oh, what a tangled web we weave.
318
00:13:54,651 --> 00:13:55,683
Oh, will you cut it out?
319
00:13:55,719 --> 00:13:57,085
It wasn't easy for me.
320
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:58,430
Trying to make
coherent paragraphs
321
00:13:58,454 --> 00:14:00,182
out of your opinions. Excuse me.
322
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:02,384
My opinions are
incoherent? That's right.
323
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:05,627
This from a man who leaves
a sandwich on the soap?
324
00:14:05,662 --> 00:14:06,828
It's a clean place, isn't it?
325
00:14:06,863 --> 00:14:08,863
You used me, Oscar!
326
00:14:08,898 --> 00:14:10,464
You picked my brain.
327
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:14,102
Oh... now I know
your true colors.
328
00:14:14,137 --> 00:14:16,315
Okay, now you
had your big finish.
329
00:14:16,339 --> 00:14:20,275
Oscar, why didn't you come
to me and tell me the truth?
330
00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:21,820
Would you have done it if I did?
331
00:14:21,844 --> 00:14:22,810
No, I would not.
332
00:14:22,845 --> 00:14:23,889
That's why I gave
you another look
333
00:14:23,913 --> 00:14:25,074
at my true colors.
334
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,831
So you gave your
roommate that hokey story
335
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,867
about doing him a favor, huh?
336
00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:32,770
Well, stop the gravy train.
337
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,373
Here's where
little Felix gets off.
338
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,876
From now on, you can
sling your own hash,
339
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,077
starting tonight.
340
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,078
Go ahead.
341
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,963
Who needs you?!
342
00:14:41,998 --> 00:14:44,665
I learned a lot in
the last two weeks.
343
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,900
I can review this
thing by myself.
344
00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:51,072
A revival.
345
00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:58,012
Homulus, The
Mute by Jean Anou...
346
00:14:59,949 --> 00:15:02,450
Oh, I can't even
pronounce the tickets.
347
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:12,755
Will you cut it out? I'm
trying to read the play.
348
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:16,147
Say, I've got a wonderful idea.
349
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:18,027
Why don't you just go
to the opening tonight
350
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,417
like all the other reviewers?
351
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:23,021
Why does it have to
be Homulus, The Mute?
352
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,467
Why couldn't it be Damn Yankees?
353
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:26,568
All right, Felix, come on.
354
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,170
Let's put our
cards on the table.
355
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:30,022
How much money you
want to write this review?
356
00:15:30,046 --> 00:15:33,548
Oh, boy, are you crude.
357
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:34,549
Okay, I'm crude.
358
00:15:34,584 --> 00:15:35,761
I'm desperate, so I'm crude.
359
00:15:35,785 --> 00:15:37,229
I don't want to be
laughed off the paper.
360
00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:39,220
Tough toenails!
361
00:15:39,255 --> 00:15:41,723
Okay, I'm beat.
362
00:15:41,758 --> 00:15:42,957
I'm beat and I know it.
363
00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:44,303
I'll call the paper. I'll
confess everything.
364
00:15:44,327 --> 00:15:45,292
Knock it off.
365
00:15:45,328 --> 00:15:46,405
Yeah, in six or seven years,
366
00:15:46,429 --> 00:15:48,074
maybe I'll be able
to live it down,
367
00:15:48,098 --> 00:15:50,564
but I'll tell you one
thing that I really regret:
368
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:51,911
the paper not
getting your reviews.
369
00:15:51,935 --> 00:15:53,968
Nobody gives
reviews like you, Felix.
370
00:15:54,003 --> 00:15:55,981
Tell it to the Marines!
371
00:15:56,005 --> 00:15:57,404
You should see
the fuss they made
372
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:58,823
over every one of your reviews.
373
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,135
Yeah? The editor, please.
374
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,893
Yeah, the publisher himself
called me to congratulate me.
375
00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:06,297
He said the reviews reminded
him of George Jean Nathan.
376
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:07,576
That's very interesting.
377
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,078
I, I pattern my style after
George Jean Nathan.
378
00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:11,135
Yeah.
379
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:13,098
I don't want to see
you lose that power.
380
00:16:13,122 --> 00:16:14,332
Yeah, Mr... yes... What
power? What power?
381
00:16:14,356 --> 00:16:15,401
Yes, I'll hold.
Hang up. Hang up.
382
00:16:15,425 --> 00:16:17,169
Wait a minute. What power?
383
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:19,126
Oh, come on, Felix.
384
00:16:19,161 --> 00:16:21,061
Surely you know now
that your word is law,
385
00:16:21,097 --> 00:16:23,141
that you are now a tastemaker.
386
00:16:23,165 --> 00:16:25,316
I'm a tastemaker?
387
00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:27,663
You have the power
of life and death.
388
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,453
Well, that's terrible.
389
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:30,821
Why?
390
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:32,123
That show that opened Wednesday
391
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,025
that I didn't like
until Saturday?
392
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:35,726
It closed Thursday.
393
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,161
I put 37 actors out of work.
394
00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:38,674
Yeah, but you
did it so beautifully.
395
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,330
Oh, I'm sick. Oh,
I'm sick. I'm sick.
396
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,795
What about the show you
reviewed two weeks ago?
397
00:16:42,819 --> 00:16:44,029
A hundred actors.
398
00:16:44,053 --> 00:16:45,597
That's still running
because of your review.
399
00:16:45,621 --> 00:16:46,799
Yeah? Sure.
400
00:16:46,823 --> 00:16:48,634
That's what, 37
actors from a hundred?
401
00:16:48,658 --> 00:16:50,375
You're 63 actors ahead.
402
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,910
They even put your
review up in lights.
403
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:54,807
“Bright and bouncy,”
New York Herald.
404
00:16:54,831 --> 00:16:55,797
Really? Sure.
405
00:16:55,832 --> 00:16:57,598
That's my "bright and bouncy"?
406
00:16:57,633 --> 00:16:58,933
Of course it is.
407
00:16:58,968 --> 00:17:01,368
Well, that-that's
not very ethical, is it?
408
00:17:01,404 --> 00:17:03,604
Isn't, isn't that
defrauding the public?
409
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,868
Well, see, that'll be
our little secret. Yeah?
410
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:09,277
What do you say? Come
on, Mr. First-Nighter, huh?
411
00:17:09,312 --> 00:17:10,811
You know me.
412
00:17:10,846 --> 00:17:14,047
I'm a sucker for art.
413
00:17:14,083 --> 00:17:17,050
All the world's a stage
414
00:17:17,086 --> 00:17:20,521
and all the men and
women merely players.
415
00:17:20,556 --> 00:17:22,418
And I can put
'em all out of work.
416
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:25,910
Ah...
417
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:27,757
I never was the last one
to come out of the theater.
418
00:17:27,781 --> 00:17:28,957
You're waiting for me.
419
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,493
Forget about it. I had
to go to the bathroom.
420
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:31,916
Tell me about the play.
421
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:35,252
Well, it's essentially a...
422
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:36,665
Oh. One what? One what?
423
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,656
Look.
424
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:41,191
It's... it's Doc Simon.
425
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,237
Neil Simon, the playwright. Yes.
426
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:43,261
Oh, Doc Simon.
427
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:44,529
Oh, I'm so excited.
428
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,974
Neil Simon, the
playwright. Yes, that's me.
429
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:49,400
Everyone who knows anything
about him calls him Doc Simon.
430
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:50,679
I want your
autograph. I'm just...
431
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,782
Hang on. I think I must
have a thing to write on.
432
00:17:52,806 --> 00:17:55,139
Oh, here, just... on
this if, if you don't mind.
433
00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:58,008
Right there.
434
00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:59,076
Oh, I'm so excited.
435
00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:00,578
Thank you. Thank you.
436
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,425
Thank... oh, you've got my
pen. You've got my pen, please!
437
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:04,627
Will you forget about the
pen? It's not important, the pen.
438
00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:06,662
The play... I want you
to tell me about the play.
439
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:08,619
That's Doc Simon.
440
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:12,367
What are you doing here?
441
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:14,826
I'm writing some Sunday
articles on theater.
442
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,472
That way, after the
regular guy comes back,
443
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:17,840
you and I will still
be in the paper.
444
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,542
Your reviewing days are over.
Wha-wha-what are you doing?!
445
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:21,176
Over. You're finished.
You're through. Washed up.
446
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,266
Why?!
447
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:24,480
The paper wants me
to appear on television
448
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:27,722
as their representative on a
panel discussion about theater.
449
00:18:27,757 --> 00:18:29,368
Well, that's a great
idea. Are you crazy?
450
00:18:29,392 --> 00:18:30,458
I can't go on there.
451
00:18:30,493 --> 00:18:32,310
I'll make a jackass of myself.
452
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:33,644
That's right. You would.
453
00:18:35,932 --> 00:18:36,981
I'll go on for you.
454
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,182
What good would that do?
455
00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:39,829
Remember, my editor
knows what I look like.
456
00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:41,330
Aw... I'll just have
to call the paper
457
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:42,898
and tell everybody
the truth, that's all.
458
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,021
What a rotten break.
459
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:45,255
Just when I was getting hot.
460
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,256
Look who's upset.
461
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,257
I'm gonna be the laughingstock
462
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,059
of the whole paper industry.
463
00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:51,206
No more opening nights.
Ah... I don't know what...
464
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:52,608
No more "bright and bouncy."
465
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:53,843
I'm gonna have to change cities.
466
00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:54,877
Who would have thought
467
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,512
my song would end so soon?
468
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:59,937
Felix, will you cut it out.
469
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:05,526
Light bulb. You got an idea.
470
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:06,561
What is it?
471
00:19:06,595 --> 00:19:09,030
Are you desperate
enough to go along
472
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:12,533
with the stupidest, worst,
silliest idea I ever had?
473
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:13,662
Do I have to wear a dress?
474
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:15,536
No.
475
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:16,887
Then I'll do it.
476
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,624
Good evening, my
name is John Barbour.
477
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,536
Welcome to this week's
edition of Speak Out.
478
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,728
Tonight's topic:
theater in America:
479
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,608
where it's been
and where it's going.
480
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:26,864
We have with us this evening
481
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:28,877
some of the most widely
read critics in the country.
482
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:30,418
They are, on my immediate right,
483
00:19:30,453 --> 00:19:32,973
from New York
Magazine, John Simon;
484
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,840
to John's right, the nationally
syndicated critic from NEA
485
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:39,227
who also uniquely doubles
as an actress, Joan Crosby;
486
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:41,106
to Joan's right, from
the Los Angeles Times,
487
00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:43,848
the astute theater
critic Dan Sullivan;
488
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:46,050
to my immediate left,
from the New York Herald,
489
00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:47,451
Oscar Madison;
490
00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:50,287
and to Mr. Madison's
left is his dentist...
491
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,996
Dr. Felix Unger.
492
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,542
Uh, Doctor, if I
understood you correctly...
493
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:02,043
backstage,
494
00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:04,012
you said this afternoon
you had to remove
495
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,070
all of Mr. Madison's back teeth?
496
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:07,771
That's right, John.
497
00:20:07,806 --> 00:20:09,351
Mr. Madison can only mumble,
498
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,586
but trouper that he is,
he insisted on being here,
499
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,655
so he will mumble
his insights to me
500
00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:16,497
and I will pass them along
to Mr. and Mrs. Front Porch.
501
00:20:16,532 --> 00:20:19,717
Thank you both, Doctor.
502
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,530
I would like to begin
with, uh, John Simon.
503
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:22,519
Ah.
504
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:26,023
Uh, John...
505
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,727
where would you say
theater stands today in,
506
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,940
in relation to the
rest of the media?
507
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,497
Well, there's no
doubt in my mind
508
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:35,733
that for most
American people today,
509
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:38,852
theater has been completely
superseded by film.
510
00:20:42,024 --> 00:20:44,286
How can you say
a thing like that?
511
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,371
Nothing will ever
replace theater.
512
00:20:46,395 --> 00:20:47,639
As Mr. Madison says,
513
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,108
the immediacy, the
excitement of the theater...
514
00:20:50,132 --> 00:20:51,543
People will come back to that.
515
00:20:51,567 --> 00:20:53,512
Well, true, but I think
today's audience finds more
516
00:20:53,536 --> 00:20:55,452
of that immediacy in television.
517
00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:56,453
Television?!
518
00:20:56,488 --> 00:20:58,566
How, how can you
compare theater...?
519
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:01,019
How can you compare
Gomer Pyle with Olivier?
520
00:21:01,043 --> 00:21:02,687
Pardon me, we have to,
have to take a brief break
521
00:21:02,711 --> 00:21:03,956
right now for our
first commercial.
522
00:21:03,980 --> 00:21:05,545
We'll be right back.
523
00:21:05,581 --> 00:21:06,791
Mr. Madison, when we come back,
524
00:21:06,815 --> 00:21:08,593
do you think we could
hear some of your opinions
525
00:21:08,617 --> 00:21:09,617
and not your dentist's?
526
00:21:10,719 --> 00:21:12,652
Joan...
527
00:21:15,091 --> 00:21:17,068
I-I'm wiping up the
floor with those people.
528
00:21:17,092 --> 00:21:18,058
Felix, what's the
matter with you?
529
00:21:18,093 --> 00:21:19,292
It's supposed to look
530
00:21:19,328 --> 00:21:20,739
like I'm the one that's
doing the thinking.
531
00:21:20,763 --> 00:21:22,196
Maybe I'm going too far,
532
00:21:22,231 --> 00:21:23,625
but these squares don't
know what they're talking about.
533
00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:25,515
Felix, if you say one more word
534
00:21:25,551 --> 00:21:27,395
that doesn't look like it's
coming from my mouth,
535
00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:29,570
I'm going to remove
all of your back teeth.
536
00:21:29,605 --> 00:21:32,165
Five seconds.
537
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,808
On the air.
538
00:21:34,844 --> 00:21:35,921
Welcome back to Speak Out.
539
00:21:35,945 --> 00:21:37,377
Joan, what would you say is...
540
00:21:37,413 --> 00:21:39,680
is one of the most
significant developments
541
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:41,915
in recent modern theater?
542
00:21:41,950 --> 00:21:43,384
Well, for one,
543
00:21:43,419 --> 00:21:47,221
I think seeing Brando in
Streetcar revolutionized...
544
00:21:47,256 --> 00:21:50,101
How can you say
a thing like that?
545
00:21:50,125 --> 00:21:53,160
Theater is not
revolutionary, my dear child.
546
00:21:53,196 --> 00:21:55,073
Theater is evolutionary.
547
00:21:55,097 --> 00:21:56,597
Brilliant point.
548
00:21:56,632 --> 00:21:59,566
Well, yes, but a great event
like Streetcar gives us a...
549
00:21:59,601 --> 00:22:00,778
That's your idea
of a great event?
550
00:22:00,802 --> 00:22:01,835
Yes, yes, it is.
551
00:22:01,870 --> 00:22:03,148
You probably went
ape over his body.
552
00:22:03,172 --> 00:22:04,699
Well, what do you expect?
553
00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:06,235
You give a woman a column,
that's what's gonna happen.
554
00:22:06,259 --> 00:22:09,160
Oh, Mr. Madison!
555
00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:11,445
You are about the rudest,
556
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,031
most backward
man I have ever met.
557
00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:17,034
If you will forgive
me, gentlemen...
558
00:22:17,069 --> 00:22:20,187
If you can't stand the
heat, stay out of the kitchen!
559
00:22:23,292 --> 00:22:25,259
Look, Mr. Madison,
560
00:22:25,294 --> 00:22:27,094
do we have to drag
personalities into this?
561
00:22:27,129 --> 00:22:28,540
He's right. He's right.
562
00:22:28,564 --> 00:22:30,264
I came here to talk
about the theater.
563
00:22:30,299 --> 00:22:31,699
Theater?
564
00:22:31,734 --> 00:22:34,468
You call what you've got
in Los Angeles theater?
565
00:22:34,503 --> 00:22:35,881
Yes, I call that
theater. You do?
566
00:22:35,905 --> 00:22:38,066
It's good theater. I cover
it, and I'm proud of it.
567
00:22:38,090 --> 00:22:39,301
I think I'm going
to join Miss Crosby.
568
00:22:39,325 --> 00:22:40,290
Excuse me. Uh, okay.
569
00:22:40,326 --> 00:22:41,326
Uh, John...
570
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,310
Of course, of course. Thank you.
571
00:22:43,345 --> 00:22:44,912
Mr. Madison, I'm not surprised
572
00:22:44,947 --> 00:22:47,547
to find you a
perfect boorish clod.
573
00:22:47,583 --> 00:22:48,983
I read most of your reviews
574
00:22:49,018 --> 00:22:52,119
and have found them virtually
without any value whatever.
575
00:22:55,908 --> 00:22:57,519
Mr. Madison would
like to respond.
576
00:22:59,578 --> 00:23:02,138
He says, "Your mother
wears combat boots."
577
00:23:04,533 --> 00:23:08,435
John, there's no point
in going on with this.
578
00:23:08,471 --> 00:23:11,638
Mr. Madison, you've
succeeded in insulting three
579
00:23:11,674 --> 00:23:14,508
of the most respected
critics in this country.
580
00:23:14,543 --> 00:23:16,260
Hopefully, after
this brief word,
581
00:23:16,295 --> 00:23:19,196
we'll see if we can
get them to return.
582
00:23:19,232 --> 00:23:22,433
Well... what do you think, eh?
583
00:23:22,468 --> 00:23:24,702
I wish I had worn the dress.
584
00:23:34,029 --> 00:23:36,007
Did you talk to your editor?
585
00:23:36,031 --> 00:23:37,414
Yeah, I called my editor.
586
00:23:37,449 --> 00:23:38,648
Yeah?
587
00:23:38,684 --> 00:23:39,666
Is he mad at you?
588
00:23:39,701 --> 00:23:41,446
Sure, he's mad at me. Uh-oh.
589
00:23:41,470 --> 00:23:43,337
He saw the show last night,
590
00:23:43,372 --> 00:23:45,405
but I apologized, and
he's not going to fire me.
591
00:23:47,309 --> 00:23:49,687
I'm glad you did
the right thing.
592
00:23:49,711 --> 00:23:53,113
I realize I... I may have
gone a little bit too far.
593
00:23:53,149 --> 00:23:55,293
I may have said
one or two things
594
00:23:55,317 --> 00:23:57,228
that possibly could
be misinterpreted.
595
00:23:57,252 --> 00:23:58,451
May have? Possibly?
596
00:23:58,487 --> 00:24:00,354
Well, something like... Yeah.
597
00:24:00,389 --> 00:24:02,133
"If you can't stand the
heat, get out of the kitchen."
598
00:24:02,157 --> 00:24:03,457
That could be taken two ways.
599
00:24:03,492 --> 00:24:05,671
Anyway, I've tried
to do the right thing.
600
00:24:05,695 --> 00:24:07,105
I've written letters of apology
601
00:24:07,129 --> 00:24:10,030
to Mr. Simon, Mr. Sullivan,
Mr. Barbour, and Miss Crosby.
602
00:24:10,065 --> 00:24:12,599
Good.
603
00:24:12,635 --> 00:24:15,402
I think one more apology is due.
604
00:24:15,438 --> 00:24:17,504
What's that?
605
00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:18,822
One from you to me.
606
00:24:18,857 --> 00:24:22,292
What for, Dr. Unger?
607
00:24:22,327 --> 00:24:25,996
It seems to me that when
one has used the deceit,
608
00:24:26,031 --> 00:24:28,866
the chicanery, the
underhandedness that you used
609
00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:31,379
in tricking me into
this entire fandango,
610
00:24:31,403 --> 00:24:33,470
that an apology is due.
611
00:24:33,505 --> 00:24:35,739
All right, maybe you're right.
So I owe you an apology.
612
00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:37,185
I apologize. I thought
you might feel that way,
613
00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:38,725
so I wrote it up.
614
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,094
You wrote a note of
apology for me to sign?
615
00:24:41,129 --> 00:24:43,730
Yes.
616
00:24:52,224 --> 00:24:54,358
I accept your mark.
44622
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