Original subtitles

Just a couple of days ago,

he was boasting to me that it was Fuck A Tory Week.

Labour are drafting in some fresh blood to kick-start their campaign.

Oh? Who?

Scott Foster. Frank Foster's...

I knew your dad, he was a good man. You're not on the same page.

I am announcing my retirement from the front benches.

Here's to scandal.

There's no easy way to say this. I think you're drinking too much.

Is that so? Ashika ever mention Scott Foster?

No. Why? You really think you can beat me, don't you?

Absolutely. Bring it on. Oh, I'm looking forward to it.

Oh, so am I.

Eyes? A pair of eyes that you'll remember every time you see her.

Learn this on a training course(?)

Graham, Ashika Chandiramani is prettier and cleverer than you.

We have a fair amount of ground to make up.

Is it too late to change me mind on you?

So, the first "I" that describes Ashika Chandiramani.

Imported. Right. She was parachuted in,

but she'll spend all her time at London dinner parties.

Getting high on cocaine. That's...

You don't want to go there.

The second "I"? Insincere.

Yes. What she thinks and what she says

are two completely different things. We find the gaps, we make 'em wider.

She's not cleverer than I am. OK, well...

I wrote my PhD thesis on ring species

and their importance in evolution. I've been a biology lecturer

for 20 years. Not much I can't tell you about the Galapagos finches.

Best save it for the victory speech, eh?

Cocky little fuck.

There's been a public outcry after the brutal and random murder

of a promising young student on a train.

The Prime Minister's promised an urgent review

of the Human Rights Act after claims that the attacker,

Gwyn Roberts, was released early on human rights grounds.

Was he, bollocks!

The Prime Minister will make it clear in a speech tonight

that he is determined to address the issue

of human rights versus citizen security before leaving office.

This is nothing to do with the Human Rights Act.

So what is it about, then? Internal Labour Party battle.

The PM says he's going to reform the Human Rights Act.

What message does that send? That he doesn't care

what the liberals think? He's never cared about that.

It means he intends to hang around long enough to do it.

What's Tory policy on the Human Rights Act?

Not to let terrorists and criminals walk the streets scot-free,

of course. So what will you change?

Possibly the name.

Counselling's for wimps. It's somebody to talk to about...

Feeling sorry for yourself is the curse of our age, Danny. I am fine.

I just think... And that's often the point at which I start to worry.

Can you add avocados to the internet order, please?

Douglas!

You go on, Danny. Oh, ripe and ready ones,

otherwise you wait forever and before you know it they're rotten.

If only avocados had an orderly transition to ripeness.

So... PM's announcement has given us the opportunity we need.

You can still make the restaurant tonight?

Yes. We'll see you there, then.

I don't need to remind you of the need for complete discretion.

You don't.

BLEEPING

Hi, James. What's happening up there?

Er, visiting a sweet factory today.

They're making us blue rock with my name running through it.

Ooh, good, the new leaflets are ready.

I really miss you.

..Ashika?

Uh-huh. ..How's Matt?

KNOCK ON DOOR Oh, sorry, that's Gloria.

Can we speak later? OK, sure.

Cheeky cow.

It's political body-snatching.

How fucking dare she!

Where is the Conservative candidate today, I wonder?

Bye, then.

Thank you so much for this lovely morning. I've had such a lovely day.

Thank you for all your help.

Erm, so I'll see you later.

All right, everyone, bye. Bye!

Hello, Scott. Nice to see you again.

Using my dad in your stuff was out of order.

How do you mean?

Never mind "How do you mean?" You know exactly what I mean.

I was expressing my admiration for my predecessor.

"But what would he think of his son running the campaign of a mediocrity

"like Graham Sullivan?"

Oh, no, they didn't leave that bit in, did they?

I specifically asked them to take that out. Hm.

Show me. The nose is a bit wonky, but...

I think it flatters you.

I'm off to see how they make gobstoppers.

Don't even say it.

See you around.

Find out for me where Ashika Chandiramani's

family lives in Leicester.

George?

James.

How's the new boss?

I think Peter Jordan's much more your type.

I'm sorry about your...

No, you're not. I wouldn't be, in your shoes, either.

We haven't always seen eye to eye, but I've always respected...

Oh, magnanimous in victory, very good(!) Just remember one thing.

What's that, George? Karma.

Karma? What goes around...

Yeah, I know what it means.

I'll worry about my own karma, thank you.

I should, if I were you.

Prick.

This Gwyn Roberts character wasn't released under the Human Rights Act.

The lawyers said his human rights were being violated

by remaining in prison.

Then blame the muppets on the parole board who bought that nonsense.

Problem with the truth, Danny,

is that it's boring and hard to explain.

"Murdered by the Human Rights Act" is just a much better headline.

But even the PM has said we're gonna do something about the Act.

First government to attack its own legislation.

Makes you proud, doesn't it(?)

Iain called a couple of times.

Tell him I'm in the Sudan... on a fact-finding mission.

You're gonna throw yourself out of a plane?

And all for charity.

A parachute jump for Cancer Research!

I'm actually quite offended by your tone.

Well, it's just you doing something like that for Cancer Research.

My granny died of cancer, Danny.

I thought you went to visit her a couple of weekends ago.

My other granny. Granny Watkins. Granny Watkins.

Yeah, I was actually gonna ask you a favour. Oh, yeah?

I want to cook dinner for the group doing the jump. Team-bonding?

Yeah, but my kitchen's really small, there's nowhere to sit

and my flatmates all hate me. Why?

So I thought, with Scott being away...

You want to do it at my place?

It could be your contribution, instead of sponsoring me.

How many people?

Well, there's 20 doing the jump, so that's too many, obviously.

So... four?

Including you and me. So four.

What about the other 18 people?

You don't want a divided team at 10,000ft.

All right. Scott said to have a party if I wanted.

So, what are y... we gonna cook? We. Not you.

Mr Chandirimani, Scott Foster from the election campaign.

Friend of Ashika's. Mike Dunlop from the Gazette.

Hi. Hi.

Did Ashika send over the questions she was going to be asking about?

I'll phone her just to double-check.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Door.

OK, breathe a word of what I'm about to tell you and you're dead.

If they push on with attacking the Human Rights Act,

both myself and Douglas Turner from Work and Pensions

are going to resign from the Front Bench.

Blimey! The PM's obviously doing this

to provoke the Chancellor and his people.

You're not part of the Chancellor's people.

No. We're part of the growing number of people who are sick

of both camps in this depressing saga.

Try to work it out - you're meant to have a political brain.

So the resignations will bring about a crisis for the PM

and everybody will assume the Chancellor is behind it again.

Correct. But he isn't.

So with the PM damaged and the Chancellor on the back foot

denying everything,

there is an opportunity for a third party to come up the inside.

Less tainted by all the in-fighting. Fresh face for the General Election.

The Foreign Secretary. Is one possibility.

Ooh, it's a big risk, Jo, pissing off both the main camps.

But big rewards if it comes off.

For who? For you or the party?

Happily, for both.

About time we had a woman Home Secretary, don't you think?

What are we actually going to do with all of these?

They taste like mouthwash.

Give them to people to take home to their kids I guess. Yeah.

Anything interesting in there?

Well, yes, as a matter of fact there is.

Bastard. It was probably taken out of context.

I'm not talking about my dad.

The cheap bastard.

"We very rarely see her back at home", said Mr Chandiramani,

a lifelong Labour voter. "To be honest,

"when she fetched up from university saying she was a Tory

"we all laughed and thought it was just a silly phase.

"But if her constituents see her as often as we do,

"then they can expect her to drop in about once a year."

They're working on the leaflet now.

Picture of her next to "Just a silly phase".

How did you know her dad was a Labour supporter?

Oh, you know, research.

All right.

Where you going? Face some music.

This is great, pub car park in the middle of nowhere,

I bet loads of dogging goes on here.

It was really snidey, what you did.

Well, I hate to sound childish, but you started it.

Very, very different.

I didn't doorstep your dad.

Well, he's a bit out of reach now.

I told you about my dad in confidence.

I know. It was underhand of me.

So no change there, then. What's that supposed to mean?

I took it seriously, you know.

When we... you know, when we went out that time.

Mmmm, yeah, so seriously you walked out on me

and left me looking like a prick. What, like this, you mean?

Ashika.

Fuck A Tory Week.

Ring any bells? No.

See ya.

You heard anything from Ashika?

Yeah, she's sending us some blue sticks of rock.

Says they're delicious.

When did she tell you this? Well, we had a long chat last night.

A long chat, eh? She doesn't seem to have time to speak to me these days.

So how's it going for her up there?

Yeah, the campaign's going very well, I think.

Must take up most of her time.

I guess so.

We had a good time, though, when I went up.

Found a nice bar. Just you and her?

Yeah.

Must get lonely for her when you're not there.

Or has she found a few mates?

I don't really know. She hasn't mentioned any.

Doesn't she know the guy that's running the Labour campaign?

I don't know. Does she?

What? You sure?

HE KNOCKS ON DOOR

Don't start. OK.

I'm having a drink because my marriage ended last night.

So don't fucking start. I'm not starting.

What's happened? Iain's gone.

Walked out. Oh.

That's... I mean, I knew things had been a bit...

Maybe if you talk to... Some things can never be forgiven.

Not now. Never.

He said I was a rubbish wife and a worse mother.

You think that's true? No.

Where's Clem?

With my mum.

He said Clem would grow up hating me.

Well, yeah, if he's normal, you're his mother after all.

Iain's been seeing somebody. Want to know who it is?

I've got a nasty feeling I can guess.

The nanny.

The one from Macedonia or Moldova or whatever.

So much for EU enlargement.

Oh.

Better tits, better with Clem,

better all-round person, apparently.

And get this, Daniel, he says he's going for residence of Clem

because they can offer him a more stable home life than I can.

And the thing is...

..they probably can.

Her real values are not the values of this constituency,

remember that at all times. And watch for my signals.

All right.

We only need to look at recent events

with the release of Gwyn Roberts by Human Rights judges,

to see that something is badly wrong with the current situation.

What started out as a probably well-intentioned

piece of legislation

has become a charter for terrorists and criminals.

Which rights DO you support, though?

Well, we're looking at a Bill of Rights...

Your party leader, for example, is big on gay marriage.

Where do you stand on that?

That wasn't a question from the floor.

I'm sure nobody would mind if you answer it.

I don't think it's appropriate to...

Perhaps you think there's no need for it.

Perhaps you think it's just a silly phase they'll grow out of?

No, I don't think that, of course.

Then answer the question, come on.

We're not asking you difficult stuff about tax cuts...

Do you believe that gay people should have exactly the same rights

as everybody else when it comes to marriage?

I believe in a stable family unit.

As insightful as saying you believe it's better to be happy

than unhappy. That's not the question.

Well, it's something we'd have to look into,

as we said at conference,

but it wouldn't be at the top of my list of priorities.

'That fucking Scott Foster!'

What did you expect? That it would stay as easy as last time?

That's why they got him in.

Our party leader got up at conference and pledged us

to civil partnerships.

Difference being, he already has a seat in Parliament. Still...

Look you have nothing to gain from it, you DO have votes

and campaign workers to lose.

Of course, I support civil partnerships.

When you win the election, you can say what you want.

Until then, you've got to keep your eye on the prize.

What, you feel sorry for Iain?

He works from home and had to do most of the childcare as well.

It can't have been easy being Mrs Jo.

He doesn't have to travel to work,

and Jo's career is more important than his.

We have to keep an eye on her, especially now.

Why especially now?

Just, well you know, way things are in the party, can't afford any...

I hope this tuna will be OK out of the fridge.

What do you do with tuna? Ah!

Couple of minutes either side on a griddle, serve with green beans

in some olive oil and a potato salad. Easy.

Oh Danny, you'll make a great husband some day.

I'd even let you do the nanny as a treat.

I wouldn't want to.

We should get some wine later.

Oh, did you find it? Yup.

Large Scotch, please.

Scott Foster...

Absolutely with you there. Eh?

PHONE RINGS

Yeah.

Where?! Coronation?!

Coronation?! Have we become some kind of monarchy now?

Party leadership isn't just a crown to be handed down! Jo!

My favourite researcher.

My only researcher, in fact. Could I just have a quick word?

I'll be fine.

You don't have to come back with me.

Just see you to your door. I'm all right.

Who phoned you, anyway? You did.

Did I? Ha-ha-ha.

Listen, Jo, you were kind of holding forth in there.

Coronations. Yeah, yeah. The journalists were present.

Scum of the earth, Danny.

I'll resign! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Did you say that?

Did you use the words "I'll resign"? Did you say anything?

Of course not. Of course I didn't. OK. Just checking.

I didn't!

It was fine. I don't know what you're making such a fuss for.

I'm fine.

It's me.

I tried to find her,

but I suspect she's in hiding if she's got any sense.

Yes, a total exclusion zone.

Well, of course we're going to cover our tracks.

Wait.

I didn't. Nothing until after the by-election. Remember that bit?

It was a total misrepresentation of what I actually said.

Really? Three independent sources have confirmed to me that,

clearly pissed,

you named me as the other Minister who would resign with you,

and that you suggested that the leadership issue

was still wide open. Did somebody put you up to this?

To deliberately sabotage everything?

Nobody put me up to anything.

Then you've got a real problem, Jo.

Because everybody involved in this has got a long memory for traitors.

Jo Porter and Douglas Turner.

Apparently she didn't wait for the whistle,

went over the top too early and ruined the whole thing.

Chancellor's just been on TV pledging his complete support

for the Prime Minister. Turner is also denying everything.

Prime Minister's Questions should be fun.

If the Speaker doesn't rule difficult questions out of order.

Better if he does. Guaranteed news coverage.

Oh, Mrs Porter, what the hell were you thinking of?

A 1980s night?

Maggie in power, Human League in the charts,

today's 18-to-21 voters being born...

All the candidates are invited. What, the BNP?

Well, not them, but the chicken will be there.

Oh, I hate all this Rock The Vote stuff!

Good for us. When you dance, you look young and pretty.

You've obviously never seen me dance.

When Graham Sullivan dances... He might not.

..he looks old and stuffy.

Win-win scenarios please campaign managers.

Hi. Canvassing went a lot better last night.

Yeah, thanks for coming out, getting your hands dirty.

That's all right. How are the, er, the Galapagos finches?

Like you're interested.

Yeah, actually I was imprisoned once for fighting

for the rights of Chinese bile bears.

There are 14 species of finch on the Galapagos isles.

Lot of finch. Yes, it is.

And in drought years many of them,

particularly among the smaller species, die.

Whether they do or not can depend on differences in beak size.

How big a difference?

Half a millimetre can decide between life and death in a very dry season.

Size really matters to a finch, then, eh?

Really does.

About this dance thing tonight...

Don't worry, you're not going to dance to 80s music -

or any other music.

At best it would have been a kind of shuffle.

No, we'll get you out of it in a way

that still makes you look young and energetic, don't worry.

You fly or you die, eh?

All because of half a millimetre on the shnoz.

Nature's a heartless bitch, isn't she, eh?

Peppermint tea? Thanks.

What happens now?

I've got an appointment with the Chief Whip this afternoon.

He should be pleased with you.

Pre-announcing the plot has ruined it completely.

Don't think anyone will quite see it like that.

At least it all kinda stopped at the talking stage.

Might be what gets you off the hook.

Might be.

I'm just out there.

If you want anything...

I know where you work, Danny.

Go on, I'm fine.

Mum, it's me.

I'm OK, I guess.

How's he been?

So, what do you think?

Yeah.

Shall we have a loosener? OK.

So, this Adrian Chapple you've invited. What about him?

He's moving to Whitehall to become a special advisor. Is he?

Can't get your corkscrew to work.

DOOR BUZZER

Sadly, Graham sprained his ankle

playing in a five-a-side game for charity.

Yeah. Just completed my hat trick, you know, and went over on it.

MUSIC: 'Two Tribes' by Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Putting aside all the noises off,

the Human Rights Act has become a complete albatross for us.

You know the bit that really pisses me off? Article 3.

I mean, Article 4, prohibiting slavery,

is irritating in a flexible economy,

but Article 3, saying you can't torture people?!

Well, that's just political correctness gone mad!

It's more the interpretation of the articles that's the problem, though.

You can't torture people.

That isn't open to interpretation.

I'll put some more music on.

Give me a hand choosing something?

Your boss is in a bit of hot water.

And yours is looking for a replacement

now that you're moving to Whitehall. That's right. Interested?

Well, that would be kind of a sideways move.

Given the direction Jo Porter's going, I don't think so.

You don't stop supporting your team the minute they hit a bad patch.

Anyway... yeah,

Stewart will need a new researcher.

Lot of competition for it. Supposed to be helping choose my successor.

Are you really? Anybody in mind?

Yeah... yeah, couple of possibilities.

Why not?

I didn't say it about you.

What, you said it was Fuck A Tory Week,

but you said it about somebody else?

That's fine, then.

No, I said it wasn't Fuck A Tory...

Oh, it doesn't matter what I say now because anything I do say

will just sound stupid. Probably.

Somebody was making trouble.

Have you slept with that somebody?

Yeah. But not... nothing serious...

We're friends who sometimes...

But it... This is probably why it's better to lie, isn't it?

It's never better to lie. You get caught.

I didn't say it about you. I just wouldn't have done that, so...

And I'm not lying.

So your candidate's not going to be doing much dancing tonight?

No, we're very disappointed about that.

Football injury? Yeah.

How virile.

Well, I'm not sure he's ever had that word applied to him, but, yeah.

It must be funny for you, being in your old school again.

Quite strange, yeah.

MUSIC: 'Take On Me' by A-Ha

I love this song, secretly. I think everybody does.

Not many 18 to 21-year-olds.

No, hopefully they're doing what they should be doing -

staying at home, taking drugs,

listening to Ja Rule and ignoring politicians.

Come on. No. Come on.

No... fucking... way.

Dance with me. Oh, come on!

Do it for the kids!

# Talking away

# I don't know what I'm to say I'll say it anyway

# Today's another day to find you

# Shying away

# I'll be coming for your love, OK

# Take on me... # 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go!

# Take on me

# Take me on

# Take on me

# I'll be gone

# In a day or two

# So needless to say

# I'm odds and ends... #

So this is it? This is it. Form room.

Sat in here for double geography as well.

Weird.

Oxbow lakes.

Yeah, cos that's what I remember most about geography - oxbow lakes!

A long time ago.

Where did you sit?

In the, um, front corner, of course.

Cos if you're sitting at the back, the teacher can always see you so...

Devious, even back then.

Wonder if there are any Galapagos finches on there?

What? There are 14 species on the Galapagos Islands.

It's fascinating in terms of natural selection and...

evolutionary trends and...

It's all about beak size and...

And why are you telling me this?

I don't know. Maybe because I can't think of anything else to say.

Then don't say anything.

DOOR HANDLE RATTLES

38. What? My room number.

It's not going to happen here, Scott. Not with the oxbow lakes

and a giant chicken walking around.

Nik Kershaw's playing, what the hell's the matter with you?

Just don't be too long, OK?

That was a laugh.

Yeah, Granny Watkins would have been so proud.

All right.

You want his job when he moves on.

His MP's on the up.

Certain to get one of the big three offices of state, they say,

no matter who succeeds the PM.

That's what they said that about Jo. Said. Exactly.

If you've got any sense, Danny,

you'll get out of that office as well.

# Midnight's calling Are you close behind?

KNOCK ON DOOR

# Midnight's calling

# Are you close behind?

# Trees without leaves And notes that don't read

# Wine left to rot And a voice that can't sing

# And hours of making love inside

# And a light that just won't shine In the dark

# Could I be any clearer?

# Could I speak any plainer?

# I need you here

# Just to lean my way

# And fall, fall, fall... #

ALARM SOUNDS

Scott.

Scott, you have to go now.

Not that train. That's the wrong train. What?

Scott.

What?

What time is it? It's 5.30. You have to go now.

No, I'm tired.

Well, whose fault is that?

Come on, you know you can't be here, this was risky enough.

Oh, God.

Please tell me this isn't true.

What? What have we done?

I don't believe it. This cannot have happened.

Our reputations,

The News of the World, you planned this seduction, didn't you?

You've got to go.

Half an hour.

Oh, the Tories will be coming after Jo in next week's opposition debate.

Thought you were in Whitehall this morning.

The sound of knitting needles

around the guillotine got a bit distracting.

Bring me some tea, Danny.

I won't resign.

What did Brenton say?

No movement until after the by-election.

They'll have to sack me though because I'm not resigning.

OK.

Do you know something, Danny?

I don't know which is more painful -

my marriage or my career.

What does that say about me?

You can save both.

You have to stay clear-headed to get through this, you know?

Clear-headed? Mm-hmm.

Don't bother decoding that one.

The Conservative Party believes in freedom

and that includes the freedom

to choose whether to feed your kids crisps.

Personally, I would rather children were eating organic courgettes,

but I understand that's not always easy for parents on a low income.

Jamie Oliver?

I think he's great, of course.

OK. Sure.

No problem.

When does this come out?

OK, bye.

'I thought you were avoiding me.'

I've just been really busy.

'How are you?' Pretty knackered actually.

'Poor thing.' Yeah, early night tonight.

Listen, Ashika, I have to see you.

It's a bit difficult for me right now.

'You're in Sedley not Switzerland.' In the middle of a by-election.

I know, but this is really important.

I wouldn't ask otherwise. Well, what's it about?

Well, not something I really feel comfortable saying to a computer.

'Come to London tonight. Any time.'

So what happens now?

I don't know.

The election's only just over a week away.

Yeah. Hard for me to think past that right now.

I wish we were in London.

Always somewhere to go if you want a place to hide.

Is that what you want then? A place to hide?

No, no.

I don't know. What do you want?

Should be getting back. Tonight?

I'm going to London tonight. Oh, right. What for?

A meeting with some of the party hierarchy. It's very boring.

I thought...

I'd give you...

a heads up on this.

A silly phase.

Listen, it isn't.

Not for me.

I really want to see you when you get back from London.

You're not, you know, seeing anybody else?

No. Nobody. Sure? Because if there is then...

There isn't.

Well, then call me when you get back.

I'll come to your hotel disguised as a chambermaid.

Well, it'd be worth it just for that.

Ah.

Stewart's told me to ask you again, Danny.

He's a good boss - it was always a laugh in that office. Thanks.

He understands it wouldn't necessarily be for the long-term.

You spend six months there,

get the taint of Jo Porter out of your clothes, you move up.

Thank you, but please tell him I'm quite happy where I am.

OK. But you're making a mistake.

Get away from the crime scene, mate, or you become a suspect.

What about Kirsty?

A possibility. Doesn't have anywhere near your credentials.

No, no, she's very good.

Well, that's something I was thinking of putting to the test.

What do you mean?

See how well she hits the drop zone before offering her the post.

That one is definitely on my "To Do" list.

Hello, stranger.

Wasn't sure whether to show my face around here

after my performance on gay marriage.

You know the most annoying people in the world -

fags screaming about getting married, joining the army,

playing rugby. You're gay, for fuck's sake.

Celebrate the fact you don't have to do any of those things.

Thought you might be cross.

You can say we should wear pink stars if it gets you elected.

I know what you really think. How's James?

Enjoying the prospect of dealing the coup de grace to Jo Porter.

Hopefully without sticking the boot into the poor old

Human Rights Act as well.

Why? It's a charter for terrorists and criminals.

I'm just going to take that elephant for a walk.

So? It all sounded very momentous on the phone.

Well, it is rather.

Matt knows?

He guessed.

Well, it might not matter so much now.

What do you mean?

I want to be with you.

James, you know that's not possible.

It would be if I left my wife.

What?

My mistake has been to think I could have the best of both worlds.

To expect you to just waste your life waiting for my spare moments.

I don't want an affair any more.

Then what...? I want to marry you.

However you want to do it.

I can't stand life without you. I want us to be together all the time.

Have you been seeing someone else?

If you have, then it's fine, I know I can't hold that against you,

we always said you were free to do so.

I'm not.

Nothing important.

Then marry me.

I can't.

You can.

Just think what life will be like. Such a glamorous couple.

There was a time... There's still time.

I'm lying. What?

About the somebody else. I'm lying.

He is important.

I don't know what's going to happen there, but I think it is important.

Who is it? I don't think you know him.

The lobbyist. The Labour Party guy?

How did you know?

Sophie Montgomery.

That fucking girl!

It doesn't matter. I love you.

Forget him.

Marry me.

What's that? A blood pressure kit.

For...?

Reading your own blood pressure. No, I meant...

Oh, right, yeah. No, it's a wedding present for my mum.

You got your mum a blood pressure kit for her wedding?

Well, it's what she asked for. No, no, no, that's not weird.

Well, Scott can't go to the wedding cos of the election so...

Won't she be cross?

Knowing my mum, it will make him even more popular.

The blood pressure kit's gotta get you some brownie points!

Arsehole. I thought you got on OK the other night.

Yeah, until he inferred to me you'd get the new researcher's job

in exchange for fucking him.

Really? You can't.

Why not?

He's quite good looking and I want the job, Danny.

Kirsty.

People go through life trading sex for power.

It's what makes working here exciting.

Oh, right, why stop here?

Why not trade up to a brothel and join the rest of the whores?

Always the girl that's the whore.

Don't try the gender card with me, a whore's a whore. You're both whores.

He didn't even want you in the first place, you know that?

They asked for me. I didn't even have to offer

to hurl myself out a plane with him to get his attention.

Really?

Well, you know what, Danny?

Yes, I might sleep with someone to get a job I want.

I've fucked men for a whole number of worse reasons.

Oh, I'm sure you have.

Sometimes because it's the only way to make them shut up

or maybe because it's the only relief available when I'm bored

out of my mind at a party.

What? A birthday party?

The birthday party you left with Scott, you mean?

Will it make it so much better if I say it out loud?

No, no, somebody else has to do that.

PHONE RINGS

Hello.

Excellent.

Bring it to my office tomorrow.

POP MUSIC PLAYS

So this talk of resignations

to force the Prime Minister out early is untrue?

It's tittle-tattle. We have to focus on the real issues facing us,

how to provide public services...

'Danny, it's Scott, pick up if you're there, mate.

'Did you get mum's blood pressure kit OK?

'Come and see me after the wedding, yeah?

'Stuff some envelopes.

'All right, laters, bruv.'

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