Original subtitles

You are not gonna get selected. We'll find out,

because my name's gone forward.

Ashika, they want you.

Everything OK? No, not OK.

You left the party with Kirsty. Did you? I didn't shag her.

I was ringing about Danny. Could you not tell him about that night.

I'm going to go in there and boast about you (!)

I am announcing my retirement.

Here's to scandal. What about us? What if all this came out? It won't.

OK, you're right. I was thinking about my career, my advancement.

I'm a plonker, we know that.

I want to make a difference. I think another vacancy's in the offing.

This programme contains strong language.

'The Ministry of Defence has named the three British soldiers

'killed in an ambush in Afghanistan. There have been recent allegations

'from relatives that the troops were overstretched

'following a tour of duty in Iraq. Mike Marsh is in Sedley,

'where the regiment is based.

'Mike, how might this affect

'the Longton South by-election taking place there?'

'Well, in a general election, Labour would be expected to hold this seat

'but with a dynamic young candidate,

'there's a real head of steam being generated for the Conservatives.

'All the ingredients are here for an upset,

'and I expect there are a few jitters in the Labour over this.'

Morning. Jitters?! They're bricking it!

Tory in Dad's seat, can you imagine that?

It won't happen. So, you still working out your notice then?

I'm meeting Stephen to discuss my future.

Mortgage - keeps a roof over our heads, remember?

I guess it's easier to go all Rainbow Warrior

when you're pissed up.

KNOCK AT DOOR Hello? Room service.

I didn't...

Hang on...

You're supposed to come up for the public meeting.

Exactly. Which isn't today.

Oh, no...

I'll kill Matt!

He can't run a diary like you.

Luckily I have to be in Manchester in a bit.

Being a creature of impulse... I thought I'd drop in,

surprise you, and offer some of my experience.

I have been elected to Parliament on two occasions.

I know about such matters. I have a campaign manager.

Is he any good? She.

Gloria. Bloody brilliant. So, er, you don't want my advice then?

Thanks, but I'm doing just fine.

Well, I don't have to be in Manchester for a bit,

so... how can we kill some time?

Well, you could go and get us a couple of coffees

and then give me a hand with these.

You sure that's the best...? Quite sure.

I'll make a start while you're gone.

Sure.

They're soldiers. I know, but that doesn't mean...

Soldiers get sent to war zones.

If they didn't want that to happen,

they should have thought twice about joining the Army.

This is what happens when bleeding-heart liberals

get anywhere near power. Soldiers get shot in wars,

and I don't need a public inquiry to explain that to me.

The milk of human kindness.

Don't drink it all at once.

Er, these are for you.

Urgh.

He won't get very far with lilies.

What is it?

"I'm going to make you really suffer, bitch."

It could just be a sick joke, right?

Have you fallen out with anyone recently, Kirsty?

Split up with a boyfriend, maybe? No.

Anybody who's been trying it on,

who might be experiencing a feeling of rejection?

Not... no... well, nobody I could imagine threatening me.

And no strange, er, texts or messages prior to this?

Nope.

What about constituents with a grudge against the office?

I know it looks as if it was personal, but...

We call this file Fruitcake.

It contains correspondence from the less... stable...

Freaks and nutters. You'll find letters accusing Jo Porter

of being an extra-terrestrial.

Do you mind...? Feel free. Great.

Well, you're right, it probably is nothing,

but just let us know if anything else happens.

You OK, Kirsty? Fine. Yeah, the police took a statement.

Good. Keep me posted.

Clem took his first steps at the weekend. That's brilliant!

Yeah, probably was if you were there to see it.

Can you bring me Nurofen and water - I've got a splitting head.

Tomorrow's the first big public meeting,

where I'll go head to head with the other candidates.

It's a real chance to make an impact.

The two main issues will be the tragic deaths

of our troops in Afghanistan

and the question of planning permission for a new local mosque.

So that you know for canvassing purposes,

I shall be in favour of planning permission for the mosque.

Any concerns? I'm happy to take questions.

No?

Good. Thanks, everyone.

You sure?

About what?

This mosque business.

Quite sure. You don't have to be in favour of it. I AM in favour of it.

The old mosque is falling to bits, the Imam's a decent, moderate guy.

There's no debate, they need a new mosque.

Er, there is a debate, actually, quite a heated one.

Your stance will just make you unnecessary enemies.

Anyway, you're not a Muslim. So?

Well, nothing to gain, a lot to lose.

More to lose from being an opportunist.

The Women's Institute are asking again... Not a chance.

You could just make something up. It's condescending crap.

I'm going to put on a sari and cook a curry for their evening.

Come on, don't be a killjoy.

surely you must have a rogan josh up your sleeve?

It's just meant to be the first recipe

your mum taught you. Is that really so offensive?

I'm not pandering to their stupid stereotypes.

My mum's a teacher, not Madhur Jaffrey.

Teachers can't cook? Can you stay out of this?

OK. But some of them work for you,

and it might sugar the pill of the mosque. No.

Thanks for your advice

but you're going to have to give me some space. Just... back off.

Fine. Thank you.

More pastry tsunami than pie.

So...

I crept in at the back for your presentation

on Home Office structure. I saw. What d'you think?

A bit glib.

Our clients pay a lot of money - they might ask for more than glib.

"Desperately boring topic leavened with a little humour"

would be my description. Yes.

The menu did say this was

Eileen's special steak and Guinness pie? That's right.

Pop up to the bar and ask Eileen to put some steak and Guinness in

with this puff pastry.

We could have gone to a restaurant.

Your rehabilitation hasn't gone quite that far.

So, you're sick of your job?

I wouldn't say that. You should have a change of scenery perhaps.

How's your fish and chips? It's pub food, it's fine.

What do you mean "change of scenery"?

The Labour campaign up in Sedley is in deep shit.

What's that got to do with us?

The party have asked if I can think of anybody

who wants a sabbatical to breathe life back into the campaign.

I hate to flatter you, but they mentioned you by name. Me?

Your dad, your knowledge of the constituency, your undoubted talents

when you decide something's worthy of your attention. What about...

Make up your pay at bonus time.

Then we can review your long-term position.

Bag this up for me, would you?

We might need it as evidence later.

It's an escape route. It's just what I need. The party asked for you?

Yeah, but it's not a done deal.

They're waiting on the next meeting and counting the polls.

Why you, though? What do you mean, why me?

I understand the constituency, my dad used to be the MP,

I have finely-tuned political antennae...

You fancy the Tory candidate.

I can get Sullivan elected, Danny. I can run that campaign.

Everyone's a winner, including you, Mr Freeloader.

Well, go for it. Gonna check out the lie of the land first.

Tell me it isn't true. Sophie Montgomery!

You get a nosebleed in a postcode that doesn't have a W in it!

This is no laughing matter, Scott.

Who are all these badly-dressed people?

They're the working classes. I've told you about them, remember?

Oh, so THAT'S what they look like!

Yeah. What are you doing here anyway?

The party may call on my lobbying skills to assist the campaign.

I love the smell of desperation!

Come on.

Let's go and watch your Labour candidate

do his impression of wallpaper glue.

OK, Graham Sullivan for Labour.

The two questions were, "First, to what extent

"do you think our soldiers are not getting the support that they need?

"And second, what is your opinion on the subject of the new mosque

"planned for Elworthy Street?"

In politics, tough choices have to be made.

But I do know that this government would never send our soldiers

into any conflict zone unprepared.

Now, on the subject of the mosque, it's... A tough choice?

LAUGHTER

It's not a decision the MP would, or indeed should, make.

I would not seek to influence the planning process one way or another.

SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE

Ashika Chandiramani for the Conservatives.

I notice Mr Sullivan didn't mention the names of the dead soldiers.

Do you remember their names, Graham?

I'm not seeking to embarrass you, it's fair enough if you don't -

they were only released by the MOD yesterday morning.

The soldiers lost were Bradley Snype, Jamie Taylor

and Sid Akram.

None was more important than the other,

they were all beloved sons and young men with a sense of duty.

But I want to consider for a moment,

if I may, Lance Corporal Sid Akram.

His full name was actually Sajid Akram. A Muslim.

And by all accounts, a highly popular soldier and doting father.

I would say that Sajid's parents have the right to mourn their son -

a man who gave his life for this country -

at a place of worship where the roof isn't falling in.

So it's really that simple.

The mosque will be a tribute to Sid Akram,

and by extension, to all those

putting their lives at risk fighting on our behalf.

Forgive me, but are you a Muslim?

That question really does you no credit whatsoever,

but for the record, no, I'm not.

My family are Hindu, but that doesn't stop me delivering

an honest answer on the mosque.

I am in favour of planning permission

and I hope that the council will do the right thing

and not bow to the pressure of those with a hidden agenda

which serves ignorance and racism.

Well done.

It was only Round One. Oh, you landed some heavy punches.

I should be getting back to London. Yeah.

I'm sorry about earlier.

It just takes some getting used to.

You're not "my girl" any more, are you? No.

Are you happy with the way things went back there? And you are...?

Scott Foster. Frank Foster's...

Yes, I knew your dad.

"Are you a Muslim?" I was caught off guard.

I've been asked to come in and help out a bit.

I believe the phrase used was "sprinkle some pixie dust".

Not my words. I've been a member of the local party for 30 years.

Served on the council. Been through it all.

'79, '83, '87. In '92,

I sat by the radio weeping, as the results came in.

This is very moving... Now they tell me I need some fucking

pixie dust! Like I say...

Here's an idea. Why don't the party leadership

announce that we're going to carpet-bomb Damascus

and sell peerages in Tesco's. Then you can sprinkle pixie dust on it.

I knew your dad, Scott. He was a good man,

but frankly you're not on the same page,

you're not even in the same library.

I don't need some flashy little lobbyist to run my campaign.

It's the last thing I need. If you'd only shown some of that passion...

Oh, fuck off.

I think I know who it is.

Helen Casey...

Messy divorce. Her ex-husband Michael

was mixed up with Fathers for Justice.

What makes you think...? His e-mail topic was "what a creep".

I wrote that in an e-mail to her

when he refused to pay maintenance for the kids.

How do you know he's seen it? He breaks into the house frequently,

and in spite of an injunction.

"Stay out of my life if you don't want me in yours."

I know it's him, Danny.

What's he like?

Softly-spoken psycho.

Genius at hiding his income. What an arsehole.

Plenty of brothers in arms.

Do you know how many women are killed

by a current or former partner? Two a week.

I forgot it was you I was talking to.

You could have pretended not to know.

Do you want the injury figures? Hmm...

I found a dead bird on my doorstep this morning.

What, and you think... Could have just been a cat.

But that's how they operate.

You're so frightened, you don't know what's a real threat and what isn't.

Have you told the police?

They say maybe somebody should walk me to my door.

I mean, who's going to wanna do that every night?

I love a retro hotel.

It's got a kind of feeling to it that's quite...

1972 Romania? Funny girl.

Did I say something about a poisoned chalice, Scott?

Sullivan is seriously sub-standard.

Mmm, why do you think they brought YOU in?

What do you mean? You're a specialist at selling shoddy goods.

This time you just have to do it to a gullible electorate.

You're a salesman, Scott.

Sub-standard... it's what you do.

Great. Thanks.

Cheer up. You do it very well.

I suppose, if you weren't a journalist,

you could do just about anything, couldn't you?

Raid the trust fund and start your own chinchilla farm.

Ah, so much class-hatred.

It's not that... Not JUST that.

What do I do if you're right, and my job is just a crock of shit?

Or what do you do if you're just too frightened of losing?

Pretty sharp for a posh bird, aren't ya?

Nothing.

No. Oh, wait a moment, here she is.

It's Danny.

Yes.

Well, it wasn't in the diary. It WASN'T in the diary.

If it HAD been, I would be standing with you now.

Make sure you put it in the diary next time

and draft an apology letter when you get in.

Danny, you still there? Yeah, I'll see you in a bit.

So what's happening?

Well, we've spoken to Helen Casey.

And? And she had another break-in a week or so ago.

Her files and her computer were stolen.

He'll have read my e-mails.

My colleague has spoken to Michael Casey too.

Very charming and convincing man apparently.

Helen Casey thinks Mr Charming And Convincing won't rest

until he's killed her and possibly the children.

He's upset about the divorce.

You should arrest him. On what grounds?

Oh, let's see. Maybe repeatedly breaking his injunction?

Or for being a twat who should pay his wife some maintenance

before dressing up in a Batman outfit

and squealing about his rights. You had any other incidents?

Some cabs turning up that I didn't order.

Phone calls.

At night. Anything said?

Somebody laughing.

But... the cabs show that he knows my address.

Where's Jo? Gone. Again!

Right, let's have a look... It's not there, the meeting she missed.

Maybe you didn't put it in the diary.

I always print a copy of her diary.

I did this yesterday. Look, it's here.

She's gone in and deleted it afterwards to save face.

Fucking hell, Jo, get a grip.

You think I should say something?

If you want to lose your head. Maybe if it's done in the right way.

Maybe we could do it together.

No way. I'm not putting my career on the line to tell Jo

she's got a drink problem.

Mind if I ask you something?

Not at all. Doesn't mean I'll answer it.

Well, you're quite exercised about your career, right?

You don't try and hide that's what matters to you.

So? So why do this?

Why not something more lucrative, with more possibilities?

But Danny, what about the children,

what about making poverty history?

You're smart, you're articulate,

you could do well in PR. Look at Scott.

No, thanks. I would have thought that the corporate stuff...

Then you'd be wrong. PR?!

Thanks a lot, Danny. You have such a low opinion of me.

I don't.

You gonna walk me all the way to my door?

Of course.

It's weird, you know, I feel perfectly safe when you're around.

Why's that weird? I'm a fucking nutter when I'm angry!

We should have a child together.

Your commitment, my drive. She'd rule the world. Or he.

She.

PHONE RINGS

Yep?

Who?

Oh. Yeah. Um...

tell him I'll be down in a minute.

'So what's really been happening in London?'

'Um, weather's weird...'

Tempers and house prices are rising...

More and more kids are riding bikes

on the pavement, which I fucking hate.

I miss you. James misses you.

It's a gay bar! Yeah, I googled it.

No disrespect to your constituency, but a Poof towing a Paki...

Come on, there's still some seats at the bar.

That question really does you no credit whatsoever, but for the...

"Forgive me but are you a Muslim?"

DOOR OPENS

Where you been?

Walking Kirsty home. Why?

Some nutter's been threatening her.

Why on earth would anyone want to hurt Kirsty?

Why are you always slagging her off?

I dunno. Maybe cos she's a bitch? Hey! Don't say that. Wake up, Danny.

She's scheming, she's shallow,

she's dishonest, she's a careerist...

Uh, impressions gained from how many meetings?

Enough. Yeah, well, they're qualities

that don't normally bother you.

Kind of strange that you find them so disapproving in Kirsty.

How's that, Scott?

Have you eaten my sausages? What?

You heard. No, I have not eaten your sausages.

I don't even like sausages, which you know fine well.

Well, somebody's eaten them.

I've told you before, do not just take stuff out of the fridge.

You live here rent-free,

it's not too much to ask you to nip out and get your own food. Shut up!

I haven't been anywhere near your poxy sausages!

I was gonna have those for tea tomorrow night.

I never touched them!

Oh...look... there's your stupid sausages,

right at the front of the fridge.

Now, where's my apology? Sorry, Danny!

I was just being...

stupid.

So, are you going to take the by-election offer? I dunno.

Where's your enthusiasm gone?

I just, you know, thought I might be doing something worthwhile...

not just selling the human equivalent

of Quorn to the lumpen proletariat.

You've got to stop thinking small. What's that supposed to mean?

Well, you have to work that one out for yourself.

What's this - Lord Of The fucking Rings?!

What do you mean "thinking small"? Off to bed.

I don't even like sausages. You see, they put the pig's lips in them.

Good night.

He really fancied you... He did not.

He fancied you. He was very pretty. Little game-playing slut.

I'm going back for him. I could live with a threesome...

No! Oh, you're so boring when you're not drinking.

Can't be hungover tomorrow, I'm afraid.

They wanted me to dress up in a traditional outfit

and cook a curry for the Women's Institute? So?

What do you mean?! Don't you think

that's really patronising? Well, a bit naff, maybe

but not the Final Solution or anything.

I think it's really offensive. Do you really?

What do you mean? Well, do you really find it offensive

or do you just think you should find it offensive?

No! I think... My mum's a bit like those women.

She uses expressions like "coloured person" and "half-caste".

I can't tell her I'm gay, although she knows.

But she gives a tenner a month so a child in Africa can go to school.

We don't want to turn into one of those

hysterical fags, shrieking, "Hate crime!"

every time somebody pushes in front of them at the bus stop.

Morning.

Bit thin on the ground today? Yes.

Something wrong? Well,

how do you think your attempts

to win friends and influence people here are going?

How do you mean? Supporting the mosque.

OK, it brings in the Muslim vote, and you defended it brilliantly.

Then refusing the WI invitation.

I suppose I can see how you might find it patronising.

Then, last night you were seen drunk in a gay bar... I was not drunk.

But it all adds up. In the end, it makes you seem

as if you're sticking two fingers up

to the people you want to put you in office.

I wasn't drunk. The bar... I can't go into a gay bar?!

These people have come a long way already.

Don't rub their noses in it.

Oh, come on.

This isn't London! This is a local Conservative Association

in a middle-sized provincial town.

It's how it looks to the people

who are pounding the doorsteps on your behalf.

That's what counts. Excuse me, I've got damage limitation work to do.

What's that? It's multi-cultural day at Clem's nursery tomorrow.

OK.

Montessori. Each month they have to dress up as a different nationality.

Last time I made him nothing, of course,

because we were right in the middle of Strategic Review.

Guess what it is this month?

Well, as you're making a fez, I'm guessing...

Turkey?

Brazil. Maybe a football shirt

and some goofy teeth would be less time-consuming.

Every parent will be sending their kid in as Ronaldinho.

I want to do something original, make an effort.

And the straws and flowers and grapes are...

Carmen Miranda.

Oooh, you want a hand? I'm OK.

Shit.

Jo...

Yeah?

Er, there's no easy way to say this,

but I think you're drinking a bit too much.

Is that so?

Not like it's serious or anything, but I've noticed, you know,

during the day sometimes.

Been counting my units, have you?

No.

I'm working all the hours God sends.

I never see my son unless he's asleep.

We've got a part-time nanny now and he already knows her better than me.

He can say stuff in Macedonian, but not "Mummy".

I understand. You don't understand.

If you understood, you wouldn't be sat there, right now,

reading me a sermon about the one thing

that just about keeps my head above water.

I'm sorry if it sounded brutal.

I just, I felt an obligation to say something.

Well, you've said it. Thanks, Danny,

your conscience is clear, so bugger off and let me finish this.

OK.

Sorry.

Well, thanks, that was enlightening.

Pleasure. I'll talk to my editor about it this afternoon.

Just out of interest, what did George actually do

to warrant his sudden departure?

No comment. Because, you know,

sudden resignations like that just make me curious.

Think it'll be sunny at the weekend? I promised the boys a picnic.

Rent boys.

Yes or no?

You think George is that unoriginal?

Well, no, not really.

Or that way inclined, to be honest.

But a sex scandal at least?

My wife and I strongly disagree

on hard-boiled eggs as a picnic comestible.

What's your take on it?

Right.

Your girl's doing rather well in Longton South. She's not my girl.

I hear Labour are drafting in fresh blood to kick-start their campaign.

Oh, who?

Well, word on the street is that it's Scott Foster.

The lobbyist you introduced me to?

He met Ashika first, though. What?

I'm just saying. He met Ashika first.

Yes, but why are you saying it like that?

Hard-boiled eggs get my vote for a picnic.

But make sure you chill them in icy water.

Stops that nasty black line from forming.

CAR ENGINE STARTS

LOUD MUSIC PLAYS

Danny!

Here? Just till the morning.

Her stalker has super-glued her front door.

Hasn't she got any mates?

Yeah. Me.

Why don't they just arrest this guy?

Cos cops are useless fuckers who have to wait until a woman dies.

..commented a source close to the Home Office(!)

I'm gonna get some beers. You want anything?

More super-glue for our lock. Don't be like that.

Be nice to her.

That's YOUR job.

Ashika ever mention Scott Foster to you?

Er... no, why?

Oh, nothing. Just going through some lobbying contacts.

Good night, Matt. Yeah, see you tomorrow.

Hi, Mum, it's me.

Yeah, I know I was on the telly.

Listen, don't laugh, right?

I need your help with a recipe.

I said don't laugh!

Tell Dad to shut up!

Seriously, tell him to shut up!

Thank you.

Something really easy.

Yeah.

I DO cook! I'm just saying make it easy so I can re-create it.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Why do you never take your keys, Danny?

Hello, Scott.

Danny's at the shop. And you want me to sit outside until he gets back?

Somebody super-glued my front door. I heard.

Oh, I'm all right, stop fussing(!)

Danny said that I could sleep on the sofa tonight.

Is that a problem for you? Why should it be?

Well, you know, I might get so deranged with lust during the night

that I crawl to your bed and hurl myself on your cock.

Again.

You haven't said anything to him, have you? No.

He'd be devastated.

We can't have that.

He really likes you, Kirsty. And I really like him.

Not in the same way, though.

That's none of your business, really.

I don't want him to get hurt.

Conscience kicked in a little late, though.

Hey, Kirsty! You want a beer, Scott?

Yeah, but I'll take mine next door though.

Ta. Kirsty, you'll have to excuse me - I've got some packing to do.

Really, Scott? What for?

I'm going up north tomorrow.

Got to give my answer

on whether or not I'm going to take on the Sullivan campaign.

You are, though? You're going to do it? I'm still considering.

So, guys, I'll love you and leave you.

Kirsty, I'll leave you a clean towel in the bathroom.

You're such a gentleman(!)

You told him, then.

The Milky Bar Kid.

What's his name again?

DC Harmison.

Yes, I have. Good.

He's useless, but you must keep a record.

You can have my room tonight, by the way.

No, I'll be fine on the sofa.

Well, my bed's quite big, so I suppose we could both...

Sofa's fine. Honestly, Danny. Right.

Mmm, morning.

Sleep well?

Mm, like a log. Tea or coffee?

Coffee, please.

There is toast and Marmite.

Or, there is...

toast...

without Marmite.

With, please. I'll just take a shower.

'..Conservative candidate has urged the Lib Dems

'not to waste their vote

'and use it instead to really punish the government

'for its conduct of the war.

'Later we'll also be looking at the disturbing disaffection

'with the main political parties

'from white working-class voters.

'Why the BNP is gaining so much ground

'will be addressed by our political correspondent...'

Canvas returns making interesting reading.

What about the military estates?

Better than we'd expected. Ditto the Muslim wards.

That's where we'll apply the squeeze on them,

hit their traditional vote.

But you're doing less well in the more affluent pockets

where we'd normally expect your base to be.

I'll do the Women's Institute thing. Oh, OK!

But I'm not dressing up.

I'm sure they can live with that. My mum's giving me a recipe.

I'll need lamb and a lot of chickpeas.

Just write everything down.

How close do you think we are? If the election were held tomorrow,

I'd say far too close to call right now. All right.

You don't just need the votes,

these women are our infantry on the doorstep. I do appreciate it.

And you were right to pull me up on it. Good. Thanks.

You might be surprised - some of the ladies

can be good fun after a few sherries.

Oh, I bet. Which one of them saw me in the gay bar?

Somebody outside asking for you.

Who is it? Says he's a party supporter,

but he wants to ask you one question before he'll give you his vote.

Why ARE you a Tory, Ashika?

Scott. Yes. You gonna tell me what you're actually doing here now?

This is a place of lost innocence for me.

So how do you feel about the chance of it having its first Tory MP

in 20-odd years? Pretty relaxed.

You want to check our canvas returns then.

Want to come for a drive? No. Yeah, you do. I'm busy.

This is work. Kind of. Come on, I need to talk to you.

School discos were here.

CeCe Peniston, EMF...

# You're unbelievable! #

Bit of Crowded House for the old snogging. Yeah.

And I lost my virginity after one of those discos.

With? Mandy Thomas.

How old?

Thirteen. Nah! Yeah.

And Mandy was sixteen as well, so that was a result.

Slag. That's a bit sexist. I meant you, obviously.

She had massive knockers.

We used to ping her bra. They say class is permanent.

Wonder if she's on Friends Reunited.

Well, make the most of your little trip down memory lane

cos the Education Department are going to sell off

the playing fields. What?! That's outrageous.

They're going to improve the sports facilities of three schools.

All-weather pitch, floodlighting, makes sense to me.

You used to be able to wander back, now kids are gonna...

It makes a difference cos kids are going to have to get buses back now.

Well, they're building a private nursing home and a new gym here.

Who's behind this?

The Hadway Group. Oh, I fucking might have guessed.

Guessed what? Their CEO, Greg Hadway.

Refused to meet the widows of men killed on his construction sites.

I don't know his reasons for that.

But they provide employment and make large contributions to charity.

Oh, charity, mmm! It's not a dirty word.

I bet they donate very generously to you as well.

They can give your party all the pretty faces

and wind turbines they want,

but the people behind you are just the same.

God, I hate Tories. That's rich, coming from you.

Your party's so rotten and corrupt, it can't even put on a pretty face.

Even when it's lying to Parliament

and whoring itself about for donations. Thinking small.

You got that right, Danny. What? My brother.

He said I was thinking small. Well, I don't know what he's on about

but it wouldn't be out of character. I need to go, Scott. No problem.

Caught the stalker yet?

What is it?

Er, last night, Michael Casey broke into the house of his family

when they were sleeping and, er, he set it on fire.

The neighbours managed to get in

and rescued the mother and one of the kids...

..but they're both in hospital.

Helen Casey's got pretty serious burns

because she went back in. Back in?

To save the little girl, the toddler...

She's having skin grafts now.

And Michael Casey? Is badly burned also, and under arrest in hospital.

That is terrible. I sat with the little girl, Lauren, on my knee,

when I went to their house.

She kept playing with my necklace and laughing.

I'm really sorry.

How could you do that? How could you hate somebody so much

that you'd burn your own baby?

And why didn't you protect her?

How was he allowed to do that? You should have protected her.

You just stood and let it happen!

You don't want me running your campaign. What gave you that idea(?)

But you NEED me running your campaign. We're doing fine.

You're really not. But it's not all your fault... Very big of you.

The government is massively unpopular and lagging in the polls.

The Tories have got a very good candidate.

Lib Dem vote isn't holding up at all to divide the opposition.

So everything's sliding to the Tory,

whose metropolitan manners and ambiguous stance on the war

sits nicely with them. And the good news?

Not yet. The BNP is starting to rally on the estates,

eroding even further the traditional Labour vote,

our activists detest what's going on with regard the current

leadership battle, they're sulking at home,

and to really stick the cherry on the cake,

you're a total fucking donkey.

Well...

Can't you put any spin on that one, doctor?

Not really. You were an embarrassment in that debate.

You roll over like that again, you're finished.

We'll have a Tory MP. Unless you sprinkle some pixie dust?

Give it up with the pixie dust - it wasn't my phrase.

I'll get you elected, though. How?

We'll turn your vices into virtues.

We'll start by turning that Tory inside out, though.

She's cocky and she's naive

and she's had a far too easy ride of it so far.

You cannot be all things to all people,

and she'll learn that the hard way.

But you have to decide whether you want me here.

If you don't, I'll respect that. You might find a couple of virtues.

Local party didn't choose me for nothing.

Well, let's hope so. Like I say, it's your choice.

I've seen you once before.

You and your little brother.

David? Danny.

I went to your house to see your dad

during an industrial dispute among college lecturers.

You were about ten, and your little brother was crying

because you'd eaten all your sweets

and then taken the ones that he was saving off him.

See? Alpha-male.

Not when your dad shouted at you.

You cried much louder than Danny. Danny was always his favourite.

Yes, there's something of the mummy's boy about you.

So what's the answer then?

Thought I'd better come and formally introduce myself.

What are you on about? The party have asked me

to run the Labour campaign here. I've accepted.

Well, well. Don't want there to be any hard feelings at the end.

Hope we can still remain courteous towards each other.

Courteous.

You really think you can beat me, don't you? Absolutely.

Bring it on, Scott. Oh, I'm looking forward to it.

Oh, so am I.

Bloody lunatic.

We're lucky he didn't attack Kirsty too.

You OK?

What you said about my drinking. Look, I...

If I moan, it looks just like "Oh, she can't handle it." I understand.

But sometimes it is hard to handle.

This job, home, Iain, a baby.

It's very hard sometimes, Danny. Maybe if you talked to someone?

I'm talking to you, aren't I?

Yeah, but maybe someone...

else.

It was all pre-meditated, Danny.

No spur of the moment thing, no crime of passion.

From the bird on my doorstep,

to buying the petrol to burn his children.

He planned it all because he hated his ex-wife so much.

It's hard to understand.

There are a lot of men who hate women and want to hurt them.

You want me to go home with you tonight?

Walk you to your door?

There's no risk now, is there?

No, but just if you wanted the company.

Why not. For old time's sake, then.

COMPUTER BLEEPS

Still think I'd make a good PR girl?

What, I never meant... One day, I want to be a Cabinet Minister.

Oh, you do?

You want to be where the real decisions are made.

Not sitting at the back of the plane next to the toilets.

I'm a careerist, Danny, what's wrong with that?

This is the career I want. Minister for Women?

Ooh, still with the low opinion?!

Chancellor, at least.

So, you sure you're OK now?

I'm fine.

Thank you. That's OK.

See you tomorrow. Yeah.

Scott?! Yo, Gandalf. Riddle me this... What's up with you?

Thinking big. Come on - group hug. Get lost, I'm asleep!

No means yes, Daniel, you little tease.

Come here, you gorgeous thing with your giant fringe!

Is it a crime for two brothers to go at it like...?

Fuck off, Scott! I'm gonna do it, and it calls for something important

to mark the momentous day I decided to save Dad's seat.

Not... Oh, yeah. You're gonna play the song!

It calls for the song, Danny. It calls for the song!

Yes! We're gonna go back to 1983!

Dad went on Desert Island Discs and chose this. Remember him dancing?

You laughed so hard, you wet yourself.

I didn't actually wet myself. Yes, you did. Here we go...

MUSIC: 'Walls Come Tumbling Down' by Style Council

# Do-do-do... Do-do-do...

# Do-do-do, dooooo

# You don't have to take this crap

# You don't have to sit back And relax

# You can actually try Changing it

# I know we've always been taught To rely

# Upon those in authority But you never know until you try

# How things just might be If we came together so strongly

# Are you gonna try To make this work

# Or spend your days Down in the dirt?

# You see things can change Yes and walls can come tumbling down

# Governments crack and systems fall

# Cos unity is powerful

# Lights go out Walls come tumbling down. #

Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com