Original subtitles

You're employed to exert influence on our clients' behalf,

I don't see the problem.

I never said what your dad would have made

of what you do for a living, he would have hung his head.

I've seen you at parties. What does that mean?

You have a wandering eye.

Watch out for rumours, James. There's gonna be a by-election.

They wanna know if I'll go forward for selection.

Ashika, they want you.

So do I have your permission? Me?

Yeah, well it's your dad's old constituency.

You like her, don't you? Hey, shut up! You like her!

I think you're right.

Er, that we make a good team.

Do you... wanna get out of here?

This programme contains some strong language.

SIREN WAILS OUTSIDE

Listen, erm...

Yeah.

Do you want to shower first?

Er, no, no, I'll get one at mine, at my place.

Listen, about this...

Yeah, I've got a 9.30.

Shit!

Shit!

TELEPHONE RINGS

Jo Porter's office.

Did I even congratulate you last night?

Erm...

What a plonker! Well, congratulations.

Belated congratulations.

Jo Porter's office. As you heard,

16-year-old Wayne Dewsbury was found dead in his cell this morning

at the Bodley Young Offenders' Institute...

No comment at this time.

..the victim of a knife attack by his cell mate.

We're drawing up a response.

Bodley is one of the Government's showcase private youth prisons

so the spotlight now falls on...

Not until the details are clear.

Who's taking you to the Winter Ball?

I wasn't planning on going.

Only because I said I'd ask.

My father-in-law wants to meet you, the redoubtable Lord Blakely.

For "redoubtable" read "Alzheimer's".

Why does he want to meet me?

He likes to stay in touch with the party developments,

keep tabs on up and comers.

Probably ask you where you stand on the Suez crisis.

You don't have to go, I can make an excuse.

Renewed focus this morning on the findings of the Heinz Report...

Jo, it's Danny again.

Jo, you have to call me. We need a response to this,

you have to call me soon.

I don't know if I've got anything to wear.

I thought you'd feel that way.

Might be for the best. How?

Well, just... You'd rather I wasn't there.

No, the way he imagines he can summons people to his side.

Do him good to be blown out.

Yeah, maybe I will go. Good. Fine.

Maybe I'll take the morning off, go buy myself a frock. OK, you should.

Relax, James, I know we're up to our eyes.

She is wanted in Whitehall now. Where is she?

Chiropractors. It's in the diary.

We want this defused before lunchtime news interviews.

Get someone round there now.

OK, Jo, this is getting serious.

Where the fuck were you? Tubes. Sorry. Not you, Jo.

Call me. Stupid Northern Line. Jesus Christ, I've been here alone.

This young offenders institution killing is going mad.

Someone got killed in a young offenders' institute?

That's terrible.

RINGING CONTINUES

Jo's private youth prison initiative?

Erm, what do you want me to do? Get Jo.

Go and get her. Get a taxi. Drag her out of bed if you have to.

Arrrgh!

Scott Foster. I need to talk to you about last night.

LOUD WHIRRING I don't think it's...

Yeah, Kirsty, look, I had a really nice time.

What? I'm sorry, I just think with things the way they are

with Danny and everything...

Don't apologise, I couldn't hear you.

Are you OK? Of course I'm OK.

I just think it's best this way.

Yeah?

Oh, you dick!

No need to ask why you're 40 minutes late.

Miss some sleep?

Yeah, funny that. I start drifting off then I get these visions

of Russian gangsters coming after me with concrete mixers.

Perhaps we are better off sans that particular portfolio!

You think?

Let's talk about today.

I'm going to be interviewing for a new recruit.

Jake's job. Jake's job.

Tragic but... it created a vacancy.

We need to fill it.

I'd like you to sit in.

Give the candidates a once-over.

Sniff out any idealists.

People looking to change the world through lobbying?

I'd also like your second opinion on the cut of their jib.

If they're wearing the right shoes,

that kind of thing. Kick off's 10.30ish.

Turn on the television, Matt.

# It's time to come And play with the Tweenies... #

Yeah, News 24?

It becomes increasingly obvious

that Jo Porter is not up to her brief...

Explain.

He thinks we can get a resignation out of this.

OK, couple of points. One, I know that.

And George isn't supposed to take her out, I am.

When something like this breaks, you make sure James Northcote

is the first name people hear, not sitting watching the Tweenies!

Do you understand? Yeah.

DOOR SLAMS

Orange juice, pain au chocolat and a skinny latte.

Three shots.

Hey, good birthday party.

How are you feeling? Yeah, fine.

I told the Whip's office you were at the chiropractors.

What? I though that courier who hit you, you could say your back...

You gonna forge a note from my mum for me as well?

I'll think up my own excuses, thanks.

You want to play Nurse Betty, why don't you tend to Kirsty?

She's looking a bit the worse for wear herself.

Heard she left with your brother, might explain it.

The kid that was killed, what was he in for?

Where did you hear that? I don't think they did leave together.

Did they?

What was he in for?

The victim? Don't call him that.

Er, taking and driving away.

What, once? And the killer?

Kayin Ashodi.

Not an asylum seeker, not an asylum seeker.

Second generation, ABH, GBH, aggravated burglary...

Oh, God. We're going to need previous convictions.

Get down his local police station. The victim's?

What did I just say to you?

Any cautions, violence, or anything sexual is good.

If he ran into the girls' changing rooms at PE, we can use it.

Jesus, Jo! You want me to smear a dead bloke?

Do you want the Home Secretary to resign over this?

No. It's, it's just... Do you want me to resign over this? No.

Then I suggest you take the next 30 seconds

to grow up because after that we're killing this story.

You can "Jesus, Jo" me tomorrow.

That's if we've still got a job.

You're not the first candidate from BMD we've seen.

Something of a sinking ship scenario over there?

I couldn't possibly comment.

Says here you worked on the anti-landmines campaign.

Pretty much directed it, that's correct.

Must've been a challenge? Right.

As long as you've got the RAF dropping cluster bombs in Iraq.

Yeah I don't really... I suppose in the end you're going head-to-head with British arms manufacturers?

It was three months. Charity gig. MOBILE RINGS

HE CHUCKLES Looks good on the CV.

Excuse me.

Important.

Aha!

I was just about to die of boredom.

Yeah, people always think that when they talk to me.

It's the contrast.

So how are you fixed for stimulating nights out?

I'm sure I could make space.

Conservative Winter Ball?

Maybe not. Don't be so partisan.

You're thinking posh, objectionable boys and their fat sisters? Yeah.

Think posh, objectionable young men and their model wives.

We're rejuvenated. Congratulations.

The thing is... I'm short a date.

Oh, come on. You owe me.

Yeah, the fix up with James Northcote, no strings sex,

and it will look great with your boss, schmoozing Tories.

We like to be schmoozed.

Good boy.

I don't want to be seen with any of those

"acceptable face of Conservatism" bints.

Any of those come near me, I want you by my side.

I'll pack my baseball bat.

Have you got anything on this Dewsbury kid?

Terrific.

So I'm going on lunchtime telly with "we deeply regret this incident".

Still, I should know better than to expect anything from you

with your scruples and you with your post-orgasmic haze.

So d'you get a bit wasted last night then?

I suppose.

What time did you head home?

Did you get a taxi in the end?

What did Jo say to you?

She said that you and Scott might've, um... left?

Do you think Jo's breath smells of mint

because she was up all night eating mints?

You are so naive.

Jo went absent without leave and now she's shitting herself.

It's called deflection.

I didn't shag your brother. Smear story.

Same thing you're supposed to do with this young offender.

MOBILE RINGS

Scott Foster. Hey. Hi, Kirsty.

I think Danny might be onto us.

Er, look, Kirsty,

we had a really nice time together.

I mean, it was great but, um,

I really don't think we should be thinking in terms of an "us".

And you know I really like you.

TELEPHONE RINGS Could you hold the line one second?

Scott Foster.

It's me.

All right?

Er... I need to ask you a question

and I need for you to give me an honest answer.

Yeah, yeah, with this whole dead boy thing.

Jo's going off on one.

Seven different kinds of shit hitting the fan.

And you wanna pick my brains?

Jo Porter's got TV crews queuing up on St Stephen's Green.

I was thinking I could jump up

and down behind her and wave my arms in the air.

What do you think? James. What would the Tweenies say?

James, I've got you a solo spot on BBC.

Radio.

Radio's better, they'll quote it for the rest of the day.

I'll tell you what radio is, Ashika. Radio is pretty bloody average.

Lord Heinz's report, if you'll allow me,

Lord Heinz's report is a very complex document recommending

across the board reform on how this country deals

with its young offenders.

How many of his recommendations have been implemented?

No-one would expect those changes to be brought in over night.

But how many of his recommendations have been implemented?

As I've told you, Lord Heinz's report is a complex document...

Entertain the possibility she might have a point.

If you think it through, what she's asking isn't unreasonable.

She knows people will swallow this story spoonful at a time

until she can come up with something they'll spit out.

By smearing a dead kid?

Jo's not paying you to be Jiminy Cricket.

Politicians have consciences all of their own.

Why do you think they're always in a bad mood?

You're supposed to be onside,

smile and tell her she's doing the right thing.

Right.

OK.

OK. How?

Well, tell me what you think of him, Wayne Dewsbury.

Bit of a tearaway, got locked up,

wrong place, wrong time.

I don't know, he's dead.

I feel sorry for him. OK, change it.

What would make you lose your sympathy?

Maybe he was a hoodie who mugged a granny.

Except he didn't mug a granny. Someone in a wheelchair.

He didn't mug anyone. Where was he from? Bermondsey.

White bloke, South East London, what does that say to you? Nothing.

Racist. Oh, I knew you were going to say that.

We should not be making this about racism.

It's already is. We don't know what happened in that cell.

Maybe the Black kid was goaded, scared, maybe it was self defence.

It just sounds a bit like bollocks.

Well, we might just have to go with bollocks.

I'm not comfortable with this.

I'll get you a cushion.

We have to do something. Jo said.

MOBILE RINGS

Yes. Remember Lawrence Flynn? No.

Tabloid hack, talked a bit like Jamie Oliver.

Kind of. Lawrence went to India last summer,

achieved enlightenment, started bitching

about celebrity culture at editorial meetings.

Look, mate, it's kind of a busy day in here now.

Promptly fired, now works at the Bermondsey And Rotherhithe Gazette.

Look, I got your point. I'm being more positive in the office.

Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, where did you say he worked again?

Thank you.

Lawrence knows your Wayne guy. Incident last summer,

gang of youths beat up an Asian guy on a bendy bus.

Wayne showed up on the CCTV.

Starring role. You're kidding me?

Dewsbury makes the ninth death

inside a young offenders' institute this year.

Get that and the Heinz Report in a single sentence

and they'll play it in the summaries.

Who saw Jo Porter on St Stephen's Green

gaping like a freshly-landed bass?

Beginning to feel like mission accomplished.

We missed you on this one, James.

Where were you, having your dinner jacket let out?

I'll see you tonight. I'll be running a little late.

Newsnight. Oh. Wish me luck.

Hope the shit gets hit by lightning.

He's not that bad. Really?

You should hear him on the subject of your selection

or on ethnic minorities.

Let me tell you about him.

George will act like a friend right up until the point

he realises you're a threat.

Wow. Hospitalised for a week.

Turns out he was involved in a racial attack.

Yes, a very firm source. He's got a couple of convictions.

It's a bit of an ugly one.

Yeah. Asian guy.

Well... On a bus.

Christ, it looks like an awards ceremony for ad men.

You ready?

Let's get through it.

Ashika Chandiramani, my wife, Caroline.

At last, a face to the voice. Hello.

Finally.

This is my father, Lord Blakely. Congratulation on your selection.

Oh, yes. That's very kind of you. Thank you. Thanks.

Did you talk to Saffron Hibbs at Sky?

Shit!

I'll do it. I've got to hang around anyway,

do Jo's statement in the light of revelations.

You should get home.

I am a bit wrecked after last night.

I mean, I can't drink like that any more.

Right.

See you tomorrow.

Oh, hi, you two. You all right, Soph?

Hello.

Oh, Scott, you've met James.

Yes. And Ashika, of course.

Hi. In fact, you know practically everyone here.

So, are you going to be a regular fixture at Tory dos from now on?

No, one-off. I brought a particularly long spoon.

Congratulations on your selection. How did you bag that one?

I thought it was local jobs for local people up there.

MUSIC: 'Superstition' by Stevie Wonder

I love this song!

So, come on, who's going to ask me to dance?

Excuse me.

Er, we should dance too.

Should we? Yeah.

That's a lovely sight.

After all these years, still as devoted as ever.

A man and his meal ticket.

How is he in the workplace?

I imagine he's something of a taskmaster.

He's not too bad.

Hmm, chap in a hurry. Wants to get to the top

before people realise his limitations.

Sorry to speak ill of a friend.

I'm presuming that he is a friend?

Yeah, we get on.

Ah, yes, there was a spot of fear and trembling at introductions.

Worlds collide, eh?

Nowadays, of course, that sort of thing

isn't such a problem, not for the man.

Women still tend to get cast as home wreckers, femme fatale,

or a laughing stock.

Never does much for their prospects.

Seems terribly unfair.

Already tonight, reports that Wayne Dewsbury's

said to have been involved in a previous unprosecuted incident

which left an Asian youth

needing 17 stitches and a lengthy stay in hospital...

Hello.

Again. Hi.

You're not someone I was expecting to see here.

I shock myself sometimes.

Having a nice time?

Ha. Yeah, me neither.

Got your message.

Yeah, I was going to tell you about the nomination last night.

Bit of a strange situation, given the family connection.

Kicked myself I missed your call.

Did you? Hurt my shin quite badly.

Did you want to dance at all?

You think your shins are up to it?

I don't know whether to wish you good luck.

I think that might be a bit too strange.

OK.

Well, then I hope you lose.

But I hope you don't get the shit kicked out of you in the process.

If you call me again, I'll pick up the phone.

Scott... I am so sorry.

Scott, Caroline Northcote read my Spectator piece

about short sharp shocks for dyslexics.

I didn't know about the son.

Did you know about the son?

You might have to put me in a taxi.

It's fine, I was just about to leave anyway.

Were you?

What are you doing?

Obeying orders.

Night, guys.

Ah, George. How was Newsnight?

Ah, usual thing. These people are talking about going home.

Not the army way. No, bloody right.

Actually, I'm leaving too. You're going my way, aren't you?

Yeah. Share a cab? Good night, Lesley.

Yeah, yeah. Bye.

Bye. Night. Night.

Good to have met you.

Look after yourself. No-one else will.

Come on. Shall we get a cab?

Have you got any friends or family up there that you can stay with? No.

Urgh, hotel rooms.

Miserable, lonely business.

I don't mean to depress you unnecessarily.

You'll be fine, made of stern stuff.

I know you disapprove, George,

of how I was selected. Oh, please.

The A list is a stinker of an idea, bad for the party, bad for unity.

As for fair and unfair ways of being selected, when did that start?

It's a greasy pole, a certain amount of grease is expected.

This is me.

For the whole journey. Thanks, George.

Good night. Night.

RADIO: As yet unconfirmed reports that Dewsbury was a racial assailant

after he's alleged to have carried out an attack in July...

Hear that?

Yesterday he was Wayne. Now he's Dewsbury.

How long have you been up?

Wasn't sleepy.

Made some toast, d'you want some?

You not hungry either? Weird feeling, isn't it?

Say one thing yesterday, today it's the news, you know, weird.

Either way, I'm happy.

Erm, don't expect Jo to be. She'll probably have the last moan.

Boss's prerogative. Yeah.

You know, she said a funny thing to me yesterday.

She said you left the party with Kirsty.

Did you?

Leave with her, yeah.

And then we got separate cabs home.

I was home before you, Danny.

Honestly?

I don't wanna sound like a prick.

Kirsty's great but she's not really my... Type?

League.

I mean, she's perfect for you,

she's great. I mean, you're into that whole real woman idea.

I've got a reputation to uphold, mate. It's a terrible burden.

Hey... I didn't shag her.

Sorry.

Jo's on some Machiavellian divide and conquer trip.

Don't listen to her, she's making you all paranoid.

Oh, she is. She's doing my head in.

You know, I'm seriously thinking about leaving.

SCOTT SNIGGERS What?

Going in at entry level with another MP at your age?

I'm not talking about with another MP.

Could be outside Westminster. Why not?

With your experience, you could do anything.

You could star in a West End musical. I was thinking law.

What? As a name for the musical or...

No, or journalism.

Danny! I have contacts.

Danny, shut up!

You're lucky. You're in a job where you actually hate your boss.

Think of the poor bastards who're in jobs where they hate themselves.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

What was the password?

Easy. Starts with an "M".

Money.

Margaret.

Oh, close.

Do you remember two years ago George had that Colombian

land clearance thing hanging over him?

Peasants set up one of those rights for indigenous peoples things.

Before my time. They got wiped out.

Whole families killed.

Right. George's name showed up as a company director.

He came out, said he'd severed ties with the company years before,

he was only ever shop window, never party to board decisions.

Matt, there's e-mails on there, a lot of them,

that prove George never left the company.

You think he knew about the massacres? If I had to guess...

Anyway, just lying about keeping in contact's enough to end his career.

BEEPING

Jesus Christ!

It's him. Is George not getting his BlackBerry back?

You're my little boy wonder, aren't you?

Are you happy? Yes. I'm happy. You've changed the story.

The ends justified the means, didn't they?

Didn't they?

I suppose it's good people got both side of the story.

It was being reported in a kind of a racial way...

Fine. And we live to carry on our battle against injustice.

Speaking of which,

little kids on their bikes in local council estates selling crack.

Littler kids cutting their feet on the crack pipes.

Ah, here he is.

Late but happy. Debrief me.

Don't want to.

Charmed the socks off a whole new generation

of Conservative high flyers, did you?

Always presuming you stopped at the socks.

I'm almost decided on Tom Merchant, by the way, for that job.

The landmines guy? Don't worry, he's no threat.

Particularly now your mobile runneth over

with all the right Tory numbers.

Is that why I'm here, cos I know the right Tories?

I thought it was because

I know if your favoured candidate's got the right shoes.

Scott, you are a valued member of this organisation.

Did he have the right shoes?

No. Campers. Absolute disaster.

That's not my point.

On, no!

"Lobbyist about town, Scott Foster,

"known for his high-level New Labour connections,

"was spotted up close and personal

"with more than one New Tory lovely

"at the Conservative Winter Ball."

No wonder he doesn't like himself.

Hmm.

TELEPHONE RINGS

It's my mum.

Could I just be clear on something?

Oh, will you fuck off with your clarity?

Sleeping with you was a bad, drug-induced decision, OK?

You needn't worry because I would need something stronger than coke

to come anywhere near a vacuous,

substance-free, empty shell like you again.

Cheers. I was ringing about Danny actually.

At least Danny believes in something. You...

Could you NOT tell him about that night?

Yeah, I'm going to go in there and boast about you. Please.

Jesus, I should as well.

Do you think I've no beliefs?

Self pity, great, that's such a rare quality in a man (!)

Bloody embarrassment.

Listen.

The other night...

with Scott...

He was making a bit of a dick of himself then as well, wasn't he?

You should tell him to ease off a bit.

Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

What did you say to Lord Blakely?

Couldn't shut him up about you in the taxi.

Said you had your head well screwed on. Epic praise coming from him.

Caroline say anything? Um, nothing much.

She was worried for you. Thought that smarmy lobbyist had designs.

I wouldn't have said he was particularly smarmy.

As lobbyists go. Ten years in bed with New Labour

and then he thinks he can dance the night away with us?

I'd say he's up there.

Come to the flat.

Take out all the "robusts" and then, er, send it out.

Yeah. Here. Thank you.

Mrs Dewsbury was described by relatives as distraught

at the allegations that her son was involved in a racial attack...

Who's the Black guy?

Half-brother. Christ.

..describing the incident

as more of a fight between gangs of various races

than any kind of premeditated attack on an individual. Jesus Christ!

Where did your news guy get Wayne being Rights For Whites?

News from inside Bodley Young Offenders' Institution

that Kayin Ashodi, Wayne Dewsbury's alleged assailant,

underwent two recent psychiatric evaluations,

both of which found him to be suffering severe disturbances.

Neither recommendation was acted upon.

We understand that Bodley's governor

is due to make a statement later today.

Cheeky bugger asked for redundancy, can you believe it?

Who wants to check this press statement for me?

Danny. Good boy.

Cheer up, everyone. We won.

What?

We slandered a dead person, right?

We traumatised a grieving family for nothing.

Wayne Dewsbury was a yob who liked fights on buses

and thank Christ because that little detail held up the story long enough

for some journalist to get off their arse and find out the truth.

Ashodi was a certified nutter and the governor did nothing about it.

Now the right bloke's resigning not me. OK?

I don't know, Jo.

Come here.

Well done.

Whether you like it or not, you did your job.

I'm buying the drinks tonight.

You're coming too, Kirsty.

Why should Danny suffer alone?

Last night, did you see me with a BlackBerry?

I know I had it in the ballroom,

I reckon I must've left it in the bloody taxi.

Oh, no. Have you tried the cab company?

It's got all my phone numbers, everything.

Bloody technological gizmos, get you by the balls.

Look, take it to CCHQ, let them deal with it.

No. Then I'll just be a whistle-blower.

I'll get a thank you note

and then suddenly people stop answering my calls.

Why don't you just do nothing?

Matt, this is corporate murder.

Yeah, in Colombia.

Colombians kill each other all the time, it's the national pastime.

Look, James is going to fuck this up, he wants to see blood.

You're wrong about that. No, I'm not.

Actually, I don't care about George but James eviscerating him in public

is going to hurt the party and being around that is going to damage you.

What time can you make it to the flat?

There isn't time. I'll say I'm seeing a constituent.

Come on, half an hour, I can be impressively speedy.

I've got something on George. How big?

Resignation material? Yeah.

What is it?

Does anyone else know? No.

I want to see the look on his face.

I'm going to take him apart.

I needed to make sure it's the kind of thing

you were still interested in before I took it any further.

Oh, I'm keenly interested.

I need to work my source some more. I'll get back to you.

Guess whose office was just on the line?

Shadow Education.

Happy to interface with Templeton Carter's catering clients.

You can hate people and charm them at the same time. You're a natural.

Sorry, Stephen, I've got some stuff I really need to get through today.

You know, it's not about belief, Scott.

It's not even really about politics. Sod it. What is it about?

It's about placing our clients with those whose influence can...

That IS politics, Stephen.

It's wrong, it's anti-democratic but it's still politics.

Jesus, why do you think I held on this long? For the expense account?

So I could meet people from drugs companies or Tories?

Listen to me, Scott... Why should I listen to you? Why should I do that?

Every time I think you're going to say something real,

you trot out another mission statement.

I want to make a difference. Is that an alien concept to you?

We all want to make a difference.

Yeah, I want to make a POSITIVE difference.

I actually don't like land mines or torturing bears

or Russians who like to have their nearest competitor killed.

If I misled you on that, I apologise.

I think you should keep interviewing.

I think another vacancy's in the offing.

Ashika? Everything OK?

I have your BlackBerry.

Oh, thank God for that. Where was it?

In the cab.

I don't understand.

So what did he promise you when you told him?

That he'd make you a special adviser?

Fix another selection?

If James had anything, it would be on the news by now.

Really?

So what can I do for you?

It's not like that.

Oh, no,

not the pearl-handled revolver?

You waiting for a thank you?

Just for a moment, I was beginning to admire you

for learning how to play dirty

as though you'd realised that being a Paki and a woman

doesn't make you a good person.

Now you go and spoil it.

I know all about the kind of person I am, George.

Unfortunately for you,

I'm also the person with your BlackBerry.

Our sincere condolences go out to the family of Wayne Dewsbury

for the loss of their son and for the unfortunate press coverage,

um, slandering his name.

Misguided and unfortunate there.

Um, however, our priority now

is to make sure that a tragedy like this never happens again.

That's why the Home Secretary

will be unveiling new measures... BUZZING

..to improve internal security in young offender institutions...

Jo Porter's phone. George Morgan's resigned. He's done what?!

That's what I said. During my time in this Shadow Cabinet,

it's been a privilege and a pleasure to serve my great party

in its struggle to challenge the current Government.

How was I?

George Morgan's just resigned.

Personal reasons.

Yes! Yes! We made it.

They'll never show that interview. Morgan's the big story.

Same guy who yesterday thought he was going to have MY arse.

I swear to God - best job in the world!

This is the celebration we should've been having yesterday.

Only now, it's a double.

I'm sorry you didn't get to push George yourself.

He's gone, that's the main thing.

Suddenly a lot of people want to buy me lunch.

What happened to your source?

Prostitute looking for a pay-off.

George must've got wind of it and jumped. Dirty bugger.

Worked out nicely anyway.

I'm hearing serious noises about a department.

When the by-election ends, you get yourself back here,

reshuffles, general election, who knows where we might be?

Safe seat this time. Here's to scandal.

What about us?

What if all this came out? It won't.

What if it did?

It wouldn't be terminal.

Sit out a reshuffle or two.

What are you doing?

Getting ready for Longton South.

The campaign starts tomorrow. Well, I'm making a head start.

Oh, this is sounding ominous.

Yeah, OK, you're right,

I was thinking about my career, my advancement.

I'm a plonker, we know that.

You can't be angry at me for that, Ashika,

that's the nature of the beast.

I don't think we're entirely different species on this one.

# Enjoy yourself and have Lots of fun

# So glad and live longer Than you've ever done

# Enjoy yourself

# It's later than you think

# Enjoy yourself

# While you're still in the pink

# The years go by

# As quickly as you wink

# Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself

# It's later than you think. #

HE SNIGGERS

HE SIGHS

Drink it.

My foot caught the edge of a flagstone

and then I went arse over tit into the bus stop.

Yeah, apparently the more you drink, the looser they get.

Are you putting anything on it?

I just like looking at it.

Oh, this is going to look great finding a new job.

No, no, seriously, I'm proud of you, you know?

You freed yourself. Yeah.

Every little job has its little ups and downs.

Yeah, you feel a bit shit

and then suddenly...

Ah... Piss off!

RETCHING

BEEPING

SNORING

'Hello, this is Scott Foster, please leave a message after the tone.'

Hi.

I was going to call you before I left

but I'm going early now so it's too late.

Um, yeah,

I had...

I've had something you said rolling around in my head.

You said that you hope I lose

but you hope that I don't get the shit kicked out of me.

That was a nice thing to say, so thank you.

Um, it's Ashika, by the way.

You didn't pick up this time either.

Bye.

# But you're still in my mind

# You're still in my mind

# And here's where the sound

# Of my tears hits the ground

# Just like the rain

# Just like the rain

# Just like the rain

# Just like the rain

# Just like the rain. #

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