Original subtitles

My mother's a psychological terrorist.

My brother's in politics. It's weird, isn't it?

How can you think anything matters after that?

He's pretty busy around this time of year, with the Budget and all that.

Recently you've been quite difficult. How much time off?

Just until after the funeral.

What are you up to next week? What do you have in mind?

Just a couple of days ago,

he was boasting to me that it was Fuck A Tory Week.

Still, from what I've heard, you don't go home empty-handed.

ALARM BEEPS

What time is it?

Toast time.

It's half past five!

You shouldn't just open your door like

that if you hear the smoke alarm.

You should see if it's hot first, you should feel it.

You could have been engulfed by a fireball.

That's what's got you awake at the crack of dawn -

fire safety concerns?

Work getting to you?

Work? Well, something's getting to you.

Scott? Toast! Just toast!

Ashika Chandirimani. Yes.

Vanessa Renfrew.

How would you like to become an MP?

Liver.

Badly diseased one.

Belongs to Terry Welles. The Labour MP?

Courtesy of a party sympathiser

in the X-ray department at St Winifred's.

That's his voting record.

Oh. There's lots of gaps.

And he's getting worse. Poor sod.

So, think by-election.

Think whether you're still interested.

We're sounding out the A-list.

Well, I have been thinking more in terms of the next General Election.

Media coverage per candidate in a by-election

is out of all proportion to that.

Newsnight, national press...

Good shop window. I'm gonna lose, then.

No such thing as a safe seat right now.

Well, it's been Labour since...

1987, but it was ours before, and will be again.

Just maybe not this time.

Well, at the very least,

it'll put you at the head of the A-list for next time.

The party wants to be seen to be changing.

Putting forward a Black woman!

Now, here, you can enlighten me.

Just who is Black nowadays?

I've some ideas about the Portman Bright job if you've got a minute.

I've given that to Petra. I want you on pro bono this week.

I don't need kid gloves.

Working for nothing is good for the soul.

Besides, more important, there's a big focus on charity clients

in this year's annual report.

Vienna Lurie, started while you were away. She'll take you through it.

Er...?

Scott, we need you on this. Make it look like we mean it.

This is bullshit. I've done weeks of background on Portman Bright.

Sorry, I didn't mean to... Looks like you've done a good job.

Shortlist of five.

Scott.

You surpass expectation.

I what?

A lot of times, people talk about somebody

and then you meet them and, like, "Mmm. Yeah, and...?"

Glad to know that, Vienna. They said you liked a good time.

Right.

The same.

Same...? I do too.

Heard about your friend. Yeah.

Yeah, well, life goes on... Yeah.

Drink after work?

Talk me through what you've been doing.

You're kind of dipping below expectations now.

We'll keep it monitored.

PHONE RINGS Scott Foster's phone.

Hold on.

Hold on a second. Sophie Montgomery. Can you do early lunch?

He's...

She's gone.

You are going nowhere!

OK, I'm listening.

A Labour MP is dying. There's gonna be a by-election.

They want to know if I'll go forward for selection.

You're gonna be famous!

It's been Labour for 20 years.

A famous loser! Should I say yes? Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

Pros and cons.

You mustn't tell James. I might not do it.

I might not even get chosen, but if I do, I'll probably lose, so...

I'm probably better off where I am.

Yes, true, actually.

Matt! OK, well, suppose you win.

I fight a by-election.

And suppose you win? I won't.

Suppose you do. Then I'll be an MP.

Can you imagine?

Yes! I won't win.

You might.

Can't.

It's all about James, isn't it?

What do you think he'll say?

Yo, Romeo! Just clearing a little wrestling ring for us.

You may begin.

A chat?

I didn't pay £108 for a chat, Scott.

If I'd wanted to pay £108 for a chat, I'd have gone to Toni & Guy.

Won't be needing those.

Let's be systematic.

You're not ill? No.

You're sad about your friend. What was his name? Jake? No.

I am, but...

Women trouble? Alien concept.

How did it go with Ashika?

It didn't. You were there.

Well, then. Well, then, what?

You're pining.

Am I? You thought it was in the bag and she stood you up.

She was there, then she wasn't. She stood you up!

You seem very happy about that. Scott Foster, stood up.

Have you ever had that before?

You haven't! Aw, baby!

What, and she hasn't been in touch since?

Let's chat about something else. No explanation, no nothing?

That is class!

Well, no wonder you're hacked off.

I'm sorry, but you're just wrong.

You've been stood up and you're all mopey. I woke up early.

Wilting. No.

Robbed of your sparkle, your joie de vivre. Your libido.

That is some girl!

That would be some girl, if she'd managed any of that. Her loss.

And she's got you hanging on a string.

Mm. Tell it to Toni & Guy.

SHE TYPES LOUDLY

How long does a keyboard last you on average?

Translation: "I really hate

"that Kirsty's getting to write Jo's speech this time

"just cos I fucked up last time." I didn't fuck up.

"Just cos I made such a good job of it last time." I didn't say that.

In any case, it's domestic violence.

We're hardly gonna get a man to write it. Men can be victims too.

You want me to do a section on big girls' blouses? That's the attitude.

A man hitting a woman is different from a woman hitting a man.

How? Men deserve it.

It's not different. It so is!

No. It's less common. It's just as serious.

Ow!

Now hit me. No! Christ, would you...?

Prove my point!

What is this? Your dad's old constituency.

Longton South? Terry Welles took it over, yeah?

When he died? You don't like him?

You could say that. Any particular reason?

He's not a popular man in our family.

He's about to shuffle, only no-one's to know.

He's dying? I thought...

PM doesn't want by-election frenzy with things as they are,

so they've been putting it about that he's on the mend.

I can see that working - up to a point!

I've volunteered you to write his obituary for The Tribune.

Why me? It was a favour for a favour.

I'm ghost-writing it for you!

Have the byline, just so long as it's done.

It's all in there. What?

PHONE RINGS

His life. Hello?

Your mum's at reception.

Yeah. Good one.

What?

If they'd said Evangeline Lilly was here to see me,

I'd be less surprised. Can you see her yet?

It's a wind-up. I wouldn't do that.

I'm just curious. What does she do?

Journalist, features, Barbara Drake.

I'm going to get you back. You won't.

Is that her?

What's wrong? Scott.

What about him?

Something's happened to him. Why else would she be here?

It's Scott. He's been in a funny mood.

Is Scott OK?

Scott? Just...

Something's wrong with him?

No, no. You don't sound very sure.

I just thought maybe you'd come here because... There is something wrong.

I just... Can we start again? It's really nice to see you.

You're keeping something from me.

Hi. Hi.

Oh, Dougie, this is Danny.

Danny, Dougie. Very pleased to meet you.

Quite a place. I'm going to phone him.

Mum, I'm sure he's fine.

You're equivocating. Is he all right, or isn't he? Yes!

I'm gonna phone him. His office said he was busy.

Was there something?

We were passing,

and Dougie's helping me with an article we're working on,

and I want to have a look inside, so...

I could show you round.

Another time. Take ten minutes.

I just wouldn't be concentrating. We'll put it in the diary.

I was just surprised to see you, you've never...

Why don't I get you passes and we can have a coffee and that?

Could you get us a cab? We've got to be at the...

Dougie.

Good to meet you, Danny. Bye. Bye.

Don't spare the expense, do they?

Especially for their own use.

Mum, there's something you could help me with.

Call me.

Terry Welles.

I'm writing his biography.

Is he dying? No, no.

So what do you want from me? Anecdotes.

Liked a drink.

I've whittled it down to three. Good.

Save your energy for later.

Later what? Later this evening.

You're very forward. Is that bad?

I sound like a prig. Prick?

Prig, sanctimonious.

A prude. Good lunch?

Actually, I wasn't hungry.

Well, eat later.

That is a very good idea.

Who makes the cut, then?

Totnes Hospice.

Fast-tracked by Stephen.

Action For Bears,

these bears in China that are kept captive for their bile. Nasty.

And Save The Oak Trees that are in danger.

So... Vienna...

how to whittle it down to one?

The choice is yours.

Trees are ten a penny.

Totnes Hospice - too gloomy, all that spitting into kidney bowls.

Vivisection, then. Hang in there, bears.

Clear the diary? Absolutely.

Work late, get Chinese food, cartons all over the desk.

I loosen my tie...

Some of your hair falls across your face, you wipe it away

and look up at me in a pool of light from the angle poise.

And we have sex in the broom cupboard.

We've seen the same film.

I called the AFB to say they're on the shortlist.

Their PR person can come in at four.

In the meantime,

could you clear anything too clanky out the broom cupboard?

DOOR OPENS, CLOSES

So, what did Terry Welles do that was so terrible?

When my dad was dying, he told Scott he hoped he died soon

cos he wanted his job.

Jesus! Yeah, nice guy.

How old was Scott?

12.

Jesus, Terry Welles said that? Yeah.

Still cross with your mum?

Well, it went quite well if you think about it.

She came in, she understood that I had a job.

And went on and on about Scott. Yeah, that was my fault.

How do you work that out? I mentioned him.

Welles and my dad. Miners' strike rally.

They look like friends. Yeah...

Gotta go. Vivisection man.

Good to meet you, Felix.

Can you save our bears?

Book them on the next boat to freedom.

With me with them? Eh?

Good result here, I'm off to Greenpeace.

The bears can show you aboard the Rainbow Warrior.

What can we do for you? Right now, specifically?

Nice and simple. Parliamentary delegation going to China next week.

We want to raise the issue with the government there.

They're not keen?

Who knows? We knock, but they don't open.

They won't even tell us who's going.

Well, let's see if we can put the wheels in motion.

Just trying to think who you remind me of.

Dennis.

Good, yeah. Yeah, me too.

Dennis, yeah. There's a delegation going to China.

Could you get me the names?

OK, I'll hold.

See what they do to these bears.

George, sorry to interrupt. James wanted you to sign these.

No problem. Excuse me, gentlemen.

Road haulage.

Back to civilisation.

May I? Yeah.

George, you take an interest, don't you...

in the list?

You mean, am I outraged and appalled

by the way the list is being manipulated to mirror and perpetuate

the image of the new elite?

Then, yes, I take a very close interest.

And you're aware that I'm on it?

Where do you stand - is that it?

The last time I looked,

you were gaining points for being smart, on-message,

about as far from blue rinse as it's possible to be.

Anything changed? No.

You tick all the new Tory boxes, Ashika.

By rights, I should hate your guts.

Of course, it's horses for courses.

Some constituencies won't have a woman as a candidate,

never mind a young woman.

Never mind a young woman with Chandirimani as her surname.

And suppose I get a constituency I'm unlikely to win?

Well, I got my arse kicked three times, lost my deposit once.

Just whetted my appetite.

Doesn't it make you look like a loser?

Guts, principles, sticking power. Where's the loser?

Has James been trying to talk you out of it?

Do you want me to have a word with him?

No, no, no. He hasn't said anything.

Ignorance is bliss.

PHONE RINGS

Scott, just wanted to check you were...

CLANKING

Hello?

I can't wait to tell my boyfriend.

Boyfriend?

Her boyfriend, right?

Her boyfriend!

Danny, they arranged it. Shag me and report back.

Comes right out with it and presumes I'll be cool.

And for you, sex is a sacred act,

only undertaken in a loving relationship.

It's not the sex, it's the cynicism.

Daniel.

And the presumption that I'll be cool with it, or anyone would.

And we're talking about the bloody bears, nothing matters except...

What bears? It doesn't matter.

These bears, this pro bono thing we're working on.

It's like...

It's like it all has to take second place

to the more important consideration of how to maximise my gratification.

This is her, right, not you?

I'm not saying I'm some bleeding heart do-gooder,

but compared to her...

The other guy was no better, the bear guy. It's all me, me, me.

Do you think if a girl slaps you, she fancies you?

She didn't slap me. No, me.

You? No.

Terry Welles is dying.

What's that got to do with it? I'm writing his obituary.

That's a great picture.

They really look like they know what they're doing.

They did know what they were doing in those days. Hmm.

Next thing will be, will I take her boyfriend in the broom cupboard?

With the bear guy.

Mum came to see me.

Came to your work? She phoned me.

She wants me to book a dinner or something for Wednesday.

What if I arranged the dinner at Portcullis House?

I'll get Jo to happen past and ask me something.

You trying to impress Mum never works.

It works for you. I am impressive.

What did she want?

Dropped in to say hello.

Maybe for once in your life, you could big me up

instead of sucking up all the available affection.

I couldn't wait to get out of that broom cupboard.

I was thinking, "What the hell am I doing here?"

Ashika?

Take a picture of me, would you?

My wife says there should be a new photo of me on the newsletter.

Don't ask me why. She wanted me to go down there.

I said I'd do it myself.

Face or...? About there.

You try to get something done,

and there's always some petty little thing you end up faffing about with.

Makes you wonder why you ever got into this job.

Why did you? Saw which way the wind was blowing.

Just turn towards that light and... head up a bit. Like this?

And did you have to stand many times before you were elected?

Dropped straight on the landing zone.

Passed my driving test first time too.

Don't know what you see in me.

Upload it, would you, and email it to Caroline?

It'll end up as a screensaver or something if I try.

Oh, I was...

You're early.

How's the boyfriend? Impressed.

He says principles are cool.

Are we bringing Felix in again?

We'll keep it in house now. He had some good ideas, didn't he?

He didn't give a toss about bears.

Yeah, but you don't either, do you? I don't.

It doesn't mean that we can't do our best work. So...

We do our best work when we don't care about the issue?

Well, that's the impression that I... got.

You know, it's not like we're doing your brother's job, though.

He's a researcher. He's in politics, though.

I mean, that is a matter of conviction, but we're just paid.

Pro bono week. Rules of engagement change.

Let's see what we can do when we actually give a shit.

Terry Welles.

Party loyalist...

or solid Labour?

Solid sounds stodgy.

Loyalist sounds... ovine?

It's an obituary. It's not like he's gonna actually read it.

Come on, Ian, my mum will be there at 11.00

and then you can go to work.

Nappies on the kitchen table.

Oh, and can you tell her that Clem will need his second... bottle?

KNOCKS

Everything OK? No. Not OK.

Not OK at all.

The nanny's walked out, and Ian's going spare.

Bloody knew she was a mistake.

Always on the phone to her boyfriend.

Turns out Clem bit her again and she thinks I spend too much time here.

Everyone in my house thinks I spend too much time here,

which is quite an irony,

considering everybody here thinks I spend too much time at home.

Ah, now... Can't win them all, eh?

Coffee? Chance would be a fine thing.

This is the number for the agency where I got the nanny from.

I'll need you on. Kirsty too.

Line me up replacements by this evening.

OK.

Anything in particular you're looking for?

I mean, like skills or whatever?

It's not a ministerial brief, Kirsty.

"Good with children" will be fine.

A busy but loving mother. And Clem's an adorable baby.

Really light duties.

Just a few hours of baby-sitting while Jo's at the office.

Very gentle. And husband Ian's always on hand to lend support.

Ideal family, really.

Plenty of time to explore the excitements of London.

No? OK, thank you. Bye-bye.

Right.

What's the difference between a man and a dog?

A man wears a suit, a dog just pants.

Jo's friendly with Paul Gaughan, right? That was a good joke.

Get her to introduce me as part of a delegation to China. Come on.

China?

Whoa.

Jo's got cats, yeah?

Is that a cat?

She cares about animals.

You don't.

Wrong. You don't.

I'm saying right now, I don't have time to matchmake for you.

You may have noticed we're trying to get a bill through.

Jo, I'm working for nothing. I'm not playing games.

All bullshit aside, I'm trying to do some good here.

Is he serious? Are you?

I'm serious. Time someone was.

Get out of here.

I'll let it out that Terry Welles is dying.

Danny!

I told you about Terry Welles in confidence.

All I want is a quick favour. You're in a funny mood.

Maybe you should off for a weekend somewhere. Beat drums in the woods.

Don't say anything. You'll get Jo in big trouble with the party.

Big trouble with the party? You should hear yourself.

Another disappearing act.

Maybe you needed some time to work on your apology.

For what? For acting like a friend and then treating me like shit.

Well, took a page out of your CV there, then, perhaps.

Me?

Yes. You.

You're the one who fucked off and left me looking like a pillock,

thinking, "Oh, yeah, she'll be back in a minute."

Changed my mind.

Don't worry, so did I.

Hostility.

Should have known what to expect from a Tory.

Well, so happy to fulfil your expectations.

If not your score card.

Terry Welles is dead.

'He took over the seat from Frank Foster,

'who'd taken it from the Tories in the general election of 1987.

Welles, who's been ill for some time with liver disease,

'had once been tipped as future Cabinet material.'

Into the fray. Sorry?

We've got him on the run, now.

Good. We are the red blood cells of the body politic.

Best job in the world, being an MP. Even in the opposition.

I used to always know what you were thinking.

No, you didn't.

A little brother studies a big brother. Tell me about it.

A big brother's like a puzzle to a little brother

that he keeps working at till he's cracked it.

Lately, though...

Interesting, Danny, but didn't you have pasta to puzzle over?

You heard about Terry Welles? Mm-hm.

You know the thing he said to you when we were kids,

about hoping Dad died soon?

He did say it, didn't he?

I don't know that he said it in those words. You told me he did.

He was thinking it. You told me he'd said it.

Did I? You know you did.

You did.

What was I, 12? 12.

And you were nine? Yep.

Well, you think a lot of things when you're that age,

and most of them are bollocks.

Maybe he said it, maybe he didn't.

You're not going to put it in the obit, are you?

No. So?

Who slapped you? Kirsty.

There's a division in a couple of minutes.

after that, maybe we could go to Alastair Little's?

I've got something to finish. And when it's finished?

I will be, too.

How did I manage before I had you?

Nine to five, or five to nine.

Both.

Either.

Everyone should have an Ashika.

And what should Ashika have? Just me.

And that's enough for Ashika?

Trust me. More than enough.

Don't work too late. No.

I won't.

BELL RINGS

George?

Shame about Welles. Good speaker when he could be bothered.

Enjoyed our sweaty tussle the other day, Jo. How was it for you?

Oh, it's you. Didn't hear you coming in your Converses.

Just what Labour need right now, then.

A by-election. Hardly a marginal.

With things as they are, given the right candidate...

Are you still talking?

You could be right, about the right candidate.

We all have to make sacrifices for the party.

So, have you given it any thought?

Are you gonna put yourself forward?

I've thought about nothing else.

And?

We need a 10% swing.

9.72.

Capable of that?

I'd like to think I might be.

So you'll go forward?

I'll go forward.

Good girl!

I'll need to talk to James. That a problem?

Well, only for me.

And him. Depending on the swing.

We'll make a date for you to come in to see CCHQ,

and I'll fill you in on procedure.

If they do give the nod, it's not going to be pretty, of course.

It's hardly Henley.

Two more amendments, apparently. I'll be here all night.

I can remember when it was our side had all the rebels.

On Europe? You were one of them, weren't you?

Who wouldn't have rebelled against that bloodless mummy's boy?

What you were saying earlier, about Ashika.

Has she spoken to you?

Well, obviously, we've...

Of course.

Could we perhaps compare notes on...?

Fire away.

It looks like the dog ate my homework on this one.

I'd say you've been keeping a cuckoo in the nest, sir.

And she's about to take to the sky.

MOBILE RINGS

I just had a call from Terry Welles's daughter.

And?

And she was very angry.

Why?

She said her dad was only dead cos of my dad,

and how did I have the gall to think I could do justice to his life?

Why is he dead cos of your dad?

According to her, my dad spent the last week of his life

pleading with Welles to stand as his successor.

He didn't want to, but he agreed.

So?

So she says it's been the death of him...

..her relationship with him,

his marriage...

And his liver.

Yeah.

Hmm. See?

I'd never have got that sort of personal detail.

Can we get back to the office?

I want you to read what Kirsty has written.

If you got there at 3.30, I'd have a good story for you.

Animal cruelty,

high-handed politicians, governmental indifference.

Someone might even throw a punch.

Me? No, No. I'm a pacifist.

So, you'll be there?

OK, deal.

The BBC are going to film the protest.

See you there.

Can you get me the clipboard guys?

You know you're supposed to get permission?

Your concern is touching. Have you run it past Stephen?

Have you? I left him a message on his mobile.

How long have you been here? I just did not want him to think...

How long? A week. You learn fast.

Prose not persuasive enough the first time.

Some people have an infantile desire to flout authority.

This will slap 'em back down.

I'm not gonna hit you back, by the way. I know that.

Does that make me a big girl's blouse?

It makes you a gentleman.

Maybe we should go out again.

Why? Don't know.

Get to know each other. We can do that here.

What are you suggesting? We're getting to know each other now.

Why do we have to go out and do it?

Jaffa cakes.

It's quite all right, Jo, it's a pleasure (!)

Mum, Danny. We'll be meeting here at seven-ish.

I'll have to sit with my back to the restaurant, or I'll get pestered.

But the food's really good. OK?

See you then. Bye.

Ooh, get you! Want to come?

We've had all that.

REPORTER: The delegation is due to arrive here any minute now,

but these protesters, who've been gathering for the past hour,

are planning to give the minister a very hot reception.

This is an issue, they believe, which has to be highlighted,

and although the delegation here is to talk about trade,

they want to raise this issue of the treatment of bears in China.

Here comes Mr Gaughan now. Let's speak to him. Mr Gaughan?

Fucking hell, Scott!

I said yesterday there was nothing we could do for you.

Mr Gaughan, what will you be saying to the Chinese

about the treatment of bears?

They keep them in filthy cages with open wounds

and drain off the bile with plastic tubing. Look.

If you came to my office when we got back, I'd put something in writing.

Much more effective to raise it once you're over there.

You're not barging us into this. You're representing our people

and the British people don't like this.

Save the bears! Save the bears!

Did you get anything? Yeah, we did.

We'd like another interview with you after he comes out.

You're still gonna be around for a while? Absolutely.

And did your teacher say that it was good?

Did she?

And are you going to bring it home so we can see it?

Will you? Yes, I will.

And I kiss you right back. Bye-bye. Bye.

Masterful.

James, James.

Alastair Little. Maybe we could go tonight instead?

Yeah, sure.

Don't trespass on the step.

We are ready to come to us now if you want.

Ten seconds, Scott.

The delegation has been inside the embassy for the past half-hour.

But the protest outside is continuing.

Let's speak to the protest organiser, Scott Foster.

Mr Foster, what exactly are you saying happens to these bears?

The bears are cut open without anaesthetic,

and then left caged to suffer with open wounds.

The Chinese government argue

this is all in the interests of medical research.

In the interest of quack medicine.

With an obit this good, he should be glad he's dead.

The Tribune love it, according to Jo.

There's nothing in there about him wishing your dad would die.

I'm not sure including that would have been the action of a gentleman.

Read my speech?

"Female on male violence...

"while far less prevalent, and often met with ridicule,

"is an equally serious matter.

"Policing and sentencing must be seen to reflect this."

Do you believe that? Well, it's payback for the slap.

See now. Aren't we getting to know which other?

Stay there! Don't come near! Don't cross.

You're embarrassing yourself and us! Are you embarrassed? I'm not.

You should be embarrassed, standing by, letting this happen.

You're jeopardising the work of this entire delegation

on the strength of some unfounded speculation about animal cruelty.

Unfounded?! Have you seen this? Where's the proof that that's China?

You wanna see some proof. Have a look at that.

You are trespassing. For God's sake, he invited me up here.

I did nothing of the kind.

There's no need for this. You're playing into his hands.

Mr Foster, what's your reaction to all this?

Perhaps you should ask Mr Gaughan how he feels about all this.

Good.

You got a mention in Village Vermin!

Ah, for me obit. See for yourself.

"Hobnobbing with notorious PFI pirate

"and asset-stripper Douglas Ellington."

"Laughing and joking with him right here in Portcullis House!"

Bollocks! Douglas Ellington?

Douglas "Dougie" Ellington.

Dougie?

That was Douglas Ellington? No!

No, why the fuck didn't she say so?

You made us look like animal rights terrorists.

You win.

You're off pro bono.

I have seen some escape plans in my time,

but this one takes the biscuit.

I'm not trying to get out of it. What a pro. Still in character.

Felix, I'll put someone else on the case.

Vienna, I'm on the case. There's no problem with that.

This will go down in company legend.

Locked up!

I ought to fucking punch you.

Try it.

Change of plan. Caroline's coming.

I have to be at King's Cross at 9.30. Sorry.

James?

Why don't we get a quick bite here?

It'll have to be right away.

Are you writing an article on him?

He's got a name. Well, she didn't tell me.

Don't be too hard on her, big guy.

Don't tell me how hard I can be on her. That's between me and her.

Your mother's a little nervous.

I don't need him to intermediate between me and you.

Intermediate's not a word. A bottle of your best Champagne.

How much does that cost?

I'm not asking you to pay for it, Danny.

Scott! At last.

Scott, this is Dougie. I'm very pleased to meet you.

Douglas "Dougie" Ellington. Don't start, Danny.

I'm really pleased you made it. You look a bit...

I got arrested. Oh, my poor baby!

What for?

I'll stick with water, thank you.

For God's sake, Danny. Just this once, don't sulk.

Sorry the time's a bit squeezed.

You don't mind eating here, do you? In full view. It's fine.

Quite natural, an MP and his loyal spad having dinner together.

Discussing their plans, talking through the nitty-gritty... James!

You know. What do I know?

What I was gonna tell you.

That depends on what you were gonna tell me.

Don't... play games.

Are you standing in Longton South?

They want me to go for selection.

And you said? I've said yes.

Oh. Yeah.

Ashika, you've got far more clout working for me

than as a backbencher.

I know. And I thought you were so clued up.

Have I misjudged you? I probably won't even get selected.

Even if I do, it's been Labour for years. Then I'm even more baffled.

Well, anyway, good luck to you.

Who am I gonna replace you with? Don't do this.

That researcher from Central Office that was so helpful with the HGV.

The one that looked like Uma Thurman. What about her?

You did know, didn't you?

And then there's us.

What it's gonna mean for us, I wonder.

Have some Champagne, Danny.

I'm fine. Have some sodding Champagne and enjoy it.

Mother!

I got you a present. What?

It's a photograph.

Oh!

It's Dad and Terry Welles.

Oh, Danny, for God's sake!

He didn't say that thing. Hey, Scott, tell her.

If you look at the photo, they're friends.

Danny, you have always had the unerring knack

of making a bollocks of everything!

We're getting married, OK?

Photographs of your dad, just this minute, not ideal.

Thank you.

That's why we arranged this dinner. Cheers, everybody.

Married? To him?

Oh, sit down. No!

I feel like I don't know any of you.

It's quite simple, Danny.

I'm in love for the first time since your father died.

You know when the real thing hits you.

Scott? Scott! Scott!

Oh, leave him.

Danny?

Danny... please.

Thank you.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

I'll make your mother happy, Danny. I promise I will.

Congratulations to you too. The obituary. Did a good job.

Ashika.

Never go to a party on a boat.

No?

Can't get off if you don't like it.

Better never to get on.

It's quite a scene we put on for you in there.

See what you passed up on now?

You look like you've had a bit of a rough day.

Actually, it's been a bit of a rough week.

I've upset the boss.

The party want me to stand for selection in the by-election.

And your boss doesn't want you to?

Well, everything he says is right. I'm much better placed with him.

He's Cabinet material. I'd be right in there with him.

But you want to be in charge of your own life?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hmm. I'd better go.

Cab. Right. Two secs, please.

So, do I have your permission?

Me?

Yeah, well, it's your dad's old constituency.

Yeah, you have my permission.

I've been thinking about you.

I've been thinking about you!

# I love you through sparks And shining dragons, I do

# Now there's poetry

# In an empty Coke can

# I love you through sparks And shining dragons, I do

# Now there's majesty

# In a burnt-out caravan

# You got me off the paper round

# Just sprang out of the air

# The best things come from nowhere

# I love you I don't think you care. #

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