Original subtitles

And finally, New Rule.

We not-- may not be able to do much about the weather,

but we do need a better plan for putting out a burning city

than waiting for rain.

(AUDIENCE CHUCKLING)

America is so partisan now

that even when there's a disaster of any kind,

so many people choose to defend their own team,

even over death.

A lot of Democrats in this one-party state this week

went right to, "Don't blame politicians,

you can't do anything about the wind,"

which is exactly half true.

-The wind part. -(AUDIENCE CHUCKLING)

Yes, fire is a tough fight out here.

And yes, global warming absolutely makes it worse.

(INHALES) But that's largely out of our control.

What are we gonna do? Pass a ballot measure

to make sure Chinese stop burning coal?

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

It's also, yes, undeniably true

that L.A. is built

in a stupid place to build a city.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

But when it's not on fire, it's really quite lovely.

(AUDIENCE CHUCKLING)

And it's my home.

And stupid as its origin may be, it's not going anywhere.

Axios ran a story on how getting the water

out of the hydrants in Pacific Palisades

was more complicated than it seems.

I'm sure it is.

I'm sure it's very complicated.

That's why I pay 13 percent of my income

in this state every year

to people who I assumed were working

on things like this.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)

When asked why so many of the hydrants

in the Palisades ran out of water,

Governor Newsom said, "The local folks are trying

to figure that out."

Yeah, you gotta do that before the fire.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)

At least in the Palisades,

the hydrants were still there.

Three hundred other ones around the city

are just gone, stolen for parts.

(INHALES) One of the three reservoirs

for the Palisades was offline

at the one time of year when it was most needed.

(INHALES) L.A.'s mayor, Karen Bass,

the Nero of American politics,

was fiddling in Ghana while the city burned

and later placed the blame on,

"Eight months of negligible rain

and winds that have not been seen in L.A.

in at least 14 years."

Yeah, that's not that long a time.

Maybe look in the history books

to see how our ancestors handled it back in two and 11.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

The mayor said about cuts to the fire department's budget,

"There were no reductions that were made

that would have impacted the situation."

The fire chief here had a slightly different take.

She said, "We are screaming to be properly funded."

-(AUDIENCE CHUCKLING) -And yes, the budget was cut,

"and it did impact our ability to provide service."

And by the looks of all the fire engines

in the boneyard out of service

because we didn't fix them, she's right.

-Expo-- (CHUCKLES) -(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Exposed power lines keep causing fires

and keep not getting buried underground

because it's expensive.

I've heard people say, "Do you wanna pay more taxes

to fund this?" No!

I want you to use the exorbitant taxes

you already collect to prioritize it.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)

The power lines that cut through Topanga

weren't upgraded because it endangered

an herb, the milkvetch,

which sounds like something they serve at Passover.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

I mean, talk about not seeing the forest for the trees.

You know what the absolute worst thing

for the environment is?

Wildfires.

A '22 study found that the smoke from just the two in 2020

wiped out 18 years

of carbon reduction in the state,

which means we suffered the pain of driving

those early model Priuses for nothing.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

LARRY WILMORE: Oh, man.

California is the place that spends money

and gets nothing, which is why you may have noticed

when the fires broke out,

no one escaped by high-speed rail.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

We have the highest marginal tax rate in America,

higher than almost all other states,

and soon Greenland.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

Uh, what is included for that?

Breadsticks?

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Because it clearly doesn't cover fire.

That's government's job.

Protect us from crime, violence, theft, fire.

I'm not saying Alabama would've done better with fires

by fighting them with prayer in school.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

But look me in the eye

and tell me anyone could have done worse.

We just got our ass kicked by fire,

something Neanderthals fought to a tie.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

The good news is our fire chief is a lesbian.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

Am I against a lesbian being chief?

Of course not.

Do I think a lesbian can do the job?

Of course I do.

And maybe she's the best person for the job.

Or maybe they really wanted a lesbian in that job,

and she's just the best lesbian for the job,

and with essential services,

that's not good enough.

Crowley's official bio says,

"Chief Crowley leads a diverse department,

creating, supporting, and promoting a culture

that values diversity, inclusion, and equity

while striving to meet

and exceed the expectations of the communities."

Well, you didn't exceed my expectations...

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -...was that the--

Which was that the whole city wouldn't burn down.

But it's telling that diversity is mentioned twice

before we get to "while."

"While striving to meet expectations."

Now, can you do two things at once?

Yes, but it matters where your head is.

Deputy Chief Kristine Larson said this.

Which would sound kind of racist if a Southern sheriff said it.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING) -So...

So we should be sending White firefighters

to White houses and Black ones to...

Who teaches people this bullshit?

No one cares what someone looks like

when they're pulling you out of a burning house.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

Larson also seems to believe

that if a female firefighter can't pick up a man,

it's his fault.

She said, "He got himself into the wrong place

if I have to carry him out of a fire."

Well, tell that to these guys.

'Cause who pays the highest price

when politicians don't prioritize basic services?

The first responders are heroes

who every time go above and beyond

because they have to, because we leave it all to them.

Now, is wokeness the main reason for the fires?

Of course not.

But it's also not wrong to associate

some of the unforced errors our government made

with the things normies see as hallmarks

of uber-progressive politics.

Questionable budget priorities.

High taxes that get you nothing.

Making everything about identity politics.

Virtue signaling overseas

instead of tending to the nuts and bolts at home.

Cali has no shortage of safety commissions

and agencies and bureaucrats and regulators, and of course,

sign language interpreters who communicate with their face.

-(INHALES) -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Whoo!

But common sense?

We better get some of that back soon,

because wildfires in California

are like boob jobs in a strip club.

-Inevitable... -(AUDIENCE CHUCKLING)

...and they're only going to get bigger.

♪ ("REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪