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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,880 A NETFLIX SERIES 2 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,400 Santi back against the wall won't return a single ball. 3 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:18,480 -Yeah, yeah. -Don't say that. Just do it. 4 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,200 You'll remind me a hundred times during the match anyway. 5 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:24,240 A toast to my daughter, who is a lesbian! 6 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:26,320 So screw all you, you perverts, 7 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,160 because nobody has inserted their pen drive, 8 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,840 wet the turkey, or stuffed the churro or whatever. 9 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,040 Wrong way around. 10 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:33,680 How was your date? Did you get laid? 11 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:34,840 Okay, who's serving now? 12 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:38,160 -Well, we're still just waiting on Raúl. -Such a pain in the ass. 13 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:40,400 Hey, now, look who's here. 14 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,280 What you got there, dude? 15 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,800 -Broke up with Luz. -Oh shit. 16 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,680 -You okay, man? -Me? I'm fucking great. 17 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:52,920 Who can host me for a few days? 18 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:02,840 All right, let's do it. 19 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,320 All right, guys, let's go. Let's go. 20 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:06,520 Let's go! 21 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,080 Straighten out. Can't you see the white line? 22 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:12,200 Am I crossing over it? 23 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,400 Tomorrow is your ninth driving test. 24 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:15,560 Tenth test. 25 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,520 The cyclist! Safe distance away. 26 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,040 I'm crossing the solid white line. That's four points. 27 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,880 -You can cross it to overtake him. -You sure? 28 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:24,440 Yes. 29 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:31,440 -Yes, Erika. What's he done now? -Let's go. 30 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,560 Kid, gotta get off your bike on the crosswalk. 31 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:34,960 He totally ignored you. 32 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,880 Come on, come on, let's go. Let's go. Let's go, please. Come on! 33 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,480 ESTHER SWEETHEART 34 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,320 Come on, move it! 35 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,160 Oh, not again. 36 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,000 Uh. 37 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,240 -Yeah. Yes, honey. Tell me. -Were you ignoring me? 38 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,400 I was just helping some pedestrians cross the road. 39 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,760 Gabriel, brake now! 40 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,960 -Let's see. Let's see. -What… what the… stop! 41 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,520 -Stop, stop, stop! Here, here. -Can you stop? 42 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,560 Ulises got a hold of some scissors and cut off the braids of three girls. 43 00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:18,480 In class? 44 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,800 We need to medicate him now. Parents are complaining. 45 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,480 And your sure they didn't set him up? Girls are troublemakers. 46 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,400 They might be framing him for everything. 47 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:28,360 Luis, your son is suffering from attention deficit hyperactivity. 48 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,560 We gotta medicate him, period. 49 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:34,200 You pick up his medication? No. Well, I'll do it. To the pharmacy. 50 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,160 Whoa, whoa! 51 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,600 -Sorry, I didn't see him. -Please, go ahead. Go on. 52 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:39,560 You didn't see him? 53 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,000 "Laundry detergent." 54 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:03,920 JC PRIVATE BANK 55 00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:10,080 -Juan Carlos. -How are you, Pedro? 56 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,640 Listen, I saw that 103,000 euros were put in your account. 57 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,120 Uh, yeah, it's the bonus this year. 58 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,520 Fuck. They must be happy with you. 59 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,440 You should invest it, right? At the moment, our best bet is the US. 60 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,920 Yes, the Federal Reserve has reduced incentives, but the macro data. 61 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,640 Uh, no, no, I'd rather leave the money in my account for now. 62 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,720 All of it? Are you gonna buy a new car? 63 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,680 Asking because you might be interested 64 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,600 in what we've done for clients like yourself. 65 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,480 Hey, listen, Juan Carlos, sorry. I'm about to enter a meeting. 66 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:55,080 "Zucchini." 67 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,440 Hey-hey! Ha-ha! 68 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,560 "Carrot." 69 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,280 This is like a business. 70 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:48,280 First, you have to invest in the product, and in this case, you are the product. 71 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,360 What does Daniela Galván have to offer the world? 72 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,840 Uh, well… 73 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,680 Everything. Because being an influencer is something you're born to do. 74 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:56,720 Mm-hmm. 75 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,520 Patricia, if you need detergent, 76 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,560 write the brand because there's tons of 'em. 77 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,880 Sorry, sir. The lady usually goes. 78 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,280 -And she knows which one to get. -Patri, shh, shh! 79 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,200 You have to make people wanna be like you. 80 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:10,040 But deep down, they can't ever be. You get me? 81 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,240 Yes, yes. I mean, intimate but unreachable. 82 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:13,920 I get it. I get it. 83 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,360 Well, Jonás. 84 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,480 Thank you. 85 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,760 Things are in motion, gorgeous. Go create, create! 86 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,560 Who was that guy? 87 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,560 My agent. 88 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:27,080 Cynthia hooked me up with her agency. They work with, like, 50 top influencers, 89 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,080 cream of the crop. 90 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,120 Sir, did you get one zucchini? 91 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:34,880 Because it said "zucchini," singular. 92 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,720 If you want more zucchinis, write "five, five zucchinis." 93 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,560 They're gonna get me publicity work. 94 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,320 Last year they did more than 1,500 campaigns. 95 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:43,920 My God, it's unbelievable. 96 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,680 Are you proud of me? 97 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,040 -I always am, my love. Wanna go out? -Hmm. 98 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,560 Uh, I can't. I'm busy. 99 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,920 You can hang out with your buddies, right? Enjoy yourself. You have time now. 100 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,720 -They're all working. -Hmm. 101 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,680 You forgot the dust mop too. 102 00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:59,440 To be honest, if I were you, 103 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,520 I probably would've gone with Pedro, huh? 104 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,320 You know, he's got a maid, an awesome pool. 105 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,280 -You'd have your own suite and bathroom. -No, no. 106 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,520 This way, the bachelors are back together, huh? 107 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,480 -We'll have a fucking blast here. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 108 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,400 How long you staying here? 109 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,560 Uh, until I find something, two days, a month. 110 00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:22,120 No, I mean, it's just 'cause my daughter needs her dad right now, you know. 111 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,720 -And I'm not sure that this will help. -Álex? She loves me. 112 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,240 She won't even notice I'm here. 113 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,760 Yeah, I know. You remember how small our place is, right? 114 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:31,320 If you don't want me here, tell me. Don't beat around the bush. 115 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,000 -No, come on. It's not a problem at all. -Okay. 116 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,760 Wait here. Pretend we didn't come together. 117 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:36,840 What? 118 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,880 Yeah, come on. In ten minutes, ring the bell. 119 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,320 -And I'll pretend I didn't know. -Wait here ten minutes? 120 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,560 -You come in all upset. -I'm not pretending I'm upset. 121 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,960 You gotta pretend you're upset. My daughter isn't stupid. 122 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,520 Whose house is this? Yours or hers? 123 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,680 Just wait here for a bit and shut up. Come on. 124 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:54,680 Shh! 125 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:57,800 Hi, honey. 126 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:01,240 -Um… -Nieves, 41. 127 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,920 Adventurous, everyone's friend, 128 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,640 and more of an early bird than a night owl. 129 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,120 She'll meet you for dinner at nine. 130 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,200 That's great. Um… 131 00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:10,280 Uh, I have something to tell you. 132 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,040 I get it. I won't bring people back here. 133 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,480 No, no, no, no, I think it's great, but really. 134 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,040 You know, you can't beat sex at home. 135 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:17,680 -How about this idea? -Hmm? 136 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,280 If one of us gets lucky, we turn the doormat upside down. 137 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,240 -What for? -Dad, it's a code. 138 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,520 So when the other person gets home, they don't come in. 139 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:26,600 Oh. 140 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:30,520 Hey, does your Mom know you're a lesbian? Can I say "lesbian," or is that wrong? 141 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,360 I prefer not to define myself. I'm not into labels. 142 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,160 Uh, you said Nieves, huh? Mm-hmm. Nieves. 143 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:37,680 -Are you all right? -Huh? 144 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:39,680 Yeah, honey, of course I am. 145 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,480 Oh, the doorbell. That's the doorbell, yeah? That's-- 146 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,040 Didn't hear the intercom. How weird. 147 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,240 Wonder who it is. 148 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,560 Raúl, how are you, bud? What a surprise. What brings you here? 149 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,680 -I broke up with Luz. -Jesus. 150 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:55,920 But I'm not upset about it. 151 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,480 What do you mean not upset? Come on. 152 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,240 No way, but that's tough, 153 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,800 but what happened? 'Cause you were doing well, no? 154 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,000 Well, here I am. Nowhere else for me to go. 155 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:06,280 Uh-huh. 156 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:11,200 Well, I guess. Here is a little messy. And how can we help you? Hmm? 157 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,760 Well, I don't know. You got any ideas? 158 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,480 Uh, let's see. I'd gladly let you stay at our place, obviously. 159 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,920 -But, you know, now that… -Mm-hmm. 160 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,200 I've got Álex staying here with me. 161 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,080 -It's… oof. Well… -Hmm. 162 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,320 Pfft. Uh… 163 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,520 He's crashing here, huh? 164 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,120 Mm-hmm. Okay. 165 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,240 Let's go. 166 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:36,840 BLOOD TEST 167 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:39,080 Yes, Luis, 168 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:43,120 it seems that you have early onset of unspecified testicular hypofunction. 169 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,880 Damn it. And so that means? 170 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,000 That your testosterone's a bit low for your age. 171 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:51,480 Oh, right. See, I'm not normally this tired 172 00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:53,600 or this depressed and since-- 173 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:56,560 When I heard the ad on the radio, I knew I had to come in. 174 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:57,560 Something's wrong. 175 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,880 I've got some good news. The solution is very simple. 176 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,360 One injection a month. 177 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,160 And it'll change your life. 178 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:05,600 Okay, I'm ready. 179 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,560 Is there a pill form instead, hmm? 180 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,040 Oh, God. 181 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,600 Oh, God. How could you give this to your boy? 182 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:32,800 Well, that's what the neurologist gave him to try and stabilize him. 183 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,720 -These are uppers. -Nuh-uh. 184 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,720 "Ingredients, dextroamphetamine." 185 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:38,680 Oh, they're uppers. 186 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,280 Kid's gonna get hooked. 187 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,000 But he told me to give him a quarter of a pill, like this. 188 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,240 We used to take a quarter of a pill at that festival in your town. 189 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,760 -And we'd hallucinate Smurfs. -All right, all right. 190 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,120 And I ended up marrying one. 191 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,320 -I wouldn't give him that. -What should I do? 192 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,600 He can't concentrate, won't stay still, won't keep quiet. 193 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,600 He hits people. He interrupts everybody. 194 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,240 He's hyperactive. He has no follow-through. 195 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,960 He's always tapping his fingers on every surface. 196 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,160 Hey, and what about therapy? 197 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,960 -It's slower, but there's no drugs. -He's seen a psychologist. 198 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,640 Look, quit bugging me. You're my friend, damn it. 199 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,560 Just say I'm right about it all. 200 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,280 Just stop it with the goddamn leaflet. You're getting on my nerves. 201 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,480 I can never fold it back the same way. Drives me crazy. 202 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,840 More coffee? 203 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,520 No, because of you, I want wine now. 204 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,280 Weren't you going to the gym today? 205 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,360 You can sell your car without ever leaving your home. 206 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,840 Check out what she's wearing just to sell a car. 207 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,720 -It really is so easy. -Don't you like her? She's super sweet. 208 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:31,800 Well, sorry. 209 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,720 I can't be friends with someone who has zero cellulite on her thighs. 210 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:35,680 It isn't normal. 211 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,480 It's not her fault she has that metabolism. 212 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,280 And what did I do to deserve mine? 213 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:43,560 Ask me anything. 214 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,200 You sold your Mini? 215 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,000 Because I gotta buy clothes until I get them comped. 216 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:49,920 And… 217 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,040 …a makeup artist and rent some handbags, jewelry. 218 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,800 Darling, it was a gift to you. 219 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,800 Well, now we have one car. That's enough, no? 220 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,080 And you have your bike too. 221 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,040 And how do you have 100,000 followers? 222 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,960 I got 20,000 from my sister, 223 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,640 and I bought 80,000 followers. 224 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,200 -You bought followers? -With cash from the car. 225 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,760 Who are all these people? They robots? 226 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,280 No, no, no, no. These likes are real. You pay extra for that. 227 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:13,800 -It's a crazy scene. It's very freaky. -Wait. 228 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,720 Are you telling me that you spent the money 229 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,160 from the car to buy likes from complete strangers? 230 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:19,560 I also just bought a drone. 231 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,240 -A drone? -Yes! 232 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:22,400 To take aerial shots. 233 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:26,280 For when I do yoga out by the pool or when I go out jogging. 234 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,680 Darling, I've got a brand-new one in the garage. 235 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,320 How would I know? You haven't unpacked. 236 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,960 And who's flying it for you? 237 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,240 Where's that loser going to sleep? 238 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,080 Well, on the couch or the bathtub. There isn't anywhere else. 239 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,120 -He's the famous Mr. Foreclosure, no? -It wasn't his fault. 240 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,800 The housing crisis crash-landed on him. You know, his clients stopped paying him. 241 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,040 Yeah, well, he's putting his underwear in your DVD cabinet. 242 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,560 Hey, man, why are you putting them in there? Come on! 243 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,560 Dude, what should I do? I gotta take 'em out. 244 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,680 I can't wear wrinkled clothes at the restaurant. 245 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,400 -Make room in your closet. -Hmm. 246 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,920 We're going out tonight, right? 247 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,080 Dad, Nieves. 248 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:24,240 Yeah, Nieves. Uh, no. I'm meeting someone from Tinder. 249 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,120 You're trying to meet chicks online? That's for losers, man. 250 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,440 And that's according to you? 251 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,000 And what would you know, child? 252 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,000 You gotta charm women in person. 253 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,520 Where's the best place to score? The bars. 254 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,040 Okay, Gen X. 255 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,280 -Hey, uh, honey. -What? 256 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,760 Couldn't you reschedule Nieves for tomorrow, for example? 257 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,920 What do you think this is, a manicure? 258 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,960 I've been working on her for four days. 259 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,400 All right. Okay, tomorrow we'll go out. 260 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,400 Uh, no. Tomorrow's your date with Lorena. 261 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:50,960 Lorena, who's Lorena? 262 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,800 Don't set up so many, okay? I get all mixed up. 263 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,800 Got you on a leash, huh? 264 00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,440 There's an outbreak of syphilis. 265 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,360 Hi, how are you? I'm Guillermo. 266 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,160 Um, is this your first time here? 267 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,280 Is it that obvious? 268 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:39,640 No, because you're wearing every item we give you when you sign up with us. 269 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:43,080 No, the gym bag's in my locker. The magnetic key sucks, by the way. 270 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,680 Okay. Uh, well, tell me, uh… 271 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:47,040 -Esther. -Esther. 272 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,080 What are your goals? Improving your cardio, losing weight? 273 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,120 If I could look less like a Minion, that'd be good. 274 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,920 Hey, there, you're not so bad. 275 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,880 Hey, listen, I'm teaching a body rhythm class. You up for it? 276 00:13:58,520 --> 00:13:59,560 What's that? 277 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,840 Come on, four, three! 278 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,280 Hands up! 279 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:07,640 Turn! 280 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,080 Very good. Switch! 281 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:13,720 Turn! 282 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,280 Switch! 283 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:18,080 Turn! 284 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:19,600 Come on! 285 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,640 Hello, I had a little trouble with parking, so I'm Santi. 286 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,600 Hello. Uh, Nieves. Nice to meet you. 287 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:35,880 Yeah, delighted. 288 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,720 -This place is really nice, huh? -Hmm. 289 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,080 You have good taste. 290 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,000 Yes, yes. 291 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:43,800 -Uh, uh, bathroom, be right back, okay? -Want me to order you anything? 292 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:47,280 And so what if she's short? 293 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:50,160 It's news to me that you only go out with models from Victoria's Secret. 294 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,040 It's not only that she's short. 295 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:53,520 What else is it? 296 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,480 She's, uh, a little too curvy. 297 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,880 Oh, Dad, don't be fat-phobic. Nieves, well, she's an authentic beauty. 298 00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,280 No, she isn't. Her photos make her look thinner. 299 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,520 Damn, if you gain 30 pounds, update your profile. 300 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,760 Why? We have to combat the body standard dictatorship. 301 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,160 What's that mean? 302 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:10,280 Uh, one moment, yeah? 303 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,560 Well, the stereotypes of beauty imposed on us by society. 304 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,800 It's time to accept the fact that beauty isn't a-- 305 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,280 -Álex, you tricked me. -Dad, ten bodies. 306 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,640 Hey. Uh, why are you here? 307 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,080 Having dinner with Alfonso. 308 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,120 Wow. 309 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,320 And you? Are you following me? 310 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:32,720 Excuse me. I'm on a date now. 311 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,880 And you brought her here? 312 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,880 To the restaurant where you proposed to me. 313 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,520 You brought your dentist here. 314 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,680 It's not the same. Alfonso is my boyfriend. 315 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:44,240 Oh, oh, of course. That's why Álex had braces all those years. 316 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:45,520 Hey, where you going? Blanca. 317 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:46,880 -I wanna meet your date. -Stop. 318 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,480 Hello. Hi, there. I'm Blanca, Santi's ex-wife. 319 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,400 -But she's just leaving. -Oh! 320 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,200 -Don't get up. Don't get up. She got up. -Hi. Hi, I'm Nieves. 321 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,560 Nice to meet you. What a coincidence, huh? 322 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,480 It sure is. 323 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:03,560 Well, just saying hi. Hmm. You enjoy your dinner. 324 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,760 That's great. Go on. 325 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,680 She's so pretty, right? 326 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,480 -Hmm, no, she's average, a little. -Yeah. 327 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:14,480 Hmm. Okay, well, Santi, tell me about you. 328 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,560 Am I gonna fall head over heels for you? 329 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,920 Uh, I hope so. I hope so. 330 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,680 YOUR STORY 331 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:37,760 Yes, go ahead. Show off the whole house. 332 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,000 Because now some Albanian gang member 333 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:43,480 will start following you and see how to break in and how to get out. 334 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,960 Keep rowing. You're very tense. 335 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,840 You forgot to show them where the alarm sensors are, 336 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,520 but you can save that for the room tour. 337 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,160 But we have security. Darling, you brought me to live in a bunker. 338 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,360 And the city council will be thrilled to see that we have solar panels, 339 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:56,480 but no license at all. 340 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,640 Really, why all the stress? My God, should I delete it? 341 00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,720 I'd prefer you did that. 342 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,760 What a pity, after all the effort I put in. 343 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,200 Just don't see it's necessary to show off our whole house. 344 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:05,800 Okay, fine, I'll delete it. It's done. 345 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,440 Done, took it down. 346 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:13,520 Honey. 347 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:16,560 What? 348 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:17,880 Stay there, photo. 349 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,480 People are asking me if I have a boyfriend. 350 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,680 "This is my hubby, gorgeous." 351 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,560 I've just broken the hearts of many Danielers. 352 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,160 Bathed and in bed by 9:13. 353 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,800 They're especially difficult tonight. 354 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:41,640 I don't know what to do about the boy. Amphetamines, they're addictive. 355 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,440 Look, the child neurologist prescribed them, 356 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,040 not like we're buying from the neighborhood dealer. 357 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,280 Have you read the side effects? 358 00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:49,800 Honey, what are you thinking? 359 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,080 You never read the informational leaflet, never. 360 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,200 "Palpitations, changes in personality." 361 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,960 "Suicidal thoughts, rashes, muscle spasms." 362 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,280 You gonna read the whole thing? 363 00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:04,000 "Neuroleptic malignant syndrome, priapism." 364 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,640 "Loss of appetite. Weight loss as well." 365 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,640 You know, I don't understand why you insisted so much on seeing a doctor 366 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,000 if you don't trust their opinion. 367 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,000 I do trust them. These are dangerous though. 368 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,360 Look, Esther, we spent a lot of money on the psychological evaluation, 369 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:17,920 the blood tests, the checkups. 370 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,240 And today he's playing a hairdresser. 371 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,560 But if it's a carpenter tomorrow and smashes kids with a hammer, 372 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,360 he'll be kicked out of school, and then what? 373 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,040 Oh, no, no, no. Let's give him them. 374 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:29,880 Right, it's settled. Tomorrow we start drugging our son. 375 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,360 What was I-- 376 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:34,960 You look beautiful. 377 00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:41,800 Hey, darling, you know, these muscle aches are killing me. 378 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:43,720 So soon? 379 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,080 When you haven't worked out in years, yeah. 380 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,000 That sounds like an excuse. 381 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,280 Luis, let's not argue about this now. 382 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:52,360 No, no, don't worry. 383 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,000 But, remember, don't complain about it later. 384 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,160 I wanna fuck. 385 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,280 I wanna fuck. 386 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:01,200 Tomorrow, okay? 387 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,120 Sure, sure, just fit me into your schedule. 388 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,200 Dad, successful night, right? 389 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,200 Another one down. 390 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,080 Fuck. Well, give us the details, dude. 391 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,680 You sure woke up quickly, huh? 392 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:42,760 Hmm. 393 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,320 Well, nothing, we had some dinner. Some pretty good ceviche. 394 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:48,720 We went back to her place and… 395 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,400 Everything was great. 396 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,080 She's nice, yeah. 397 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,880 So her unconventionally beautiful body type wasn't an issue? 398 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,160 No, no, no, no. Not a problem. 399 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,520 But I don't know. I prefer a different kind of girl. 400 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,640 Oh, damn, oh! 401 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,000 If that's the case, why'd you end up in her bed? 402 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,880 I don't know, because I was already there. Didn't wanna offend her. 403 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,000 A courtesy fuck, what a gentleman does. Says a lot about you. 404 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:13,920 What the hell. 405 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,360 You could have come home and slept. 406 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,720 Instead, you fucked her like a champ, and you gave her a morale boost. 407 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,680 That's right. First you get her hopes up, 408 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,520 then reject her and give her more complexes. 409 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,960 What complex though? She wore this tight dress showing off her giant boobs. 410 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,760 Well, it makes her feel feminine. You guys are embarrassing. 411 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,160 But why's he have to fix other people's complexes anyway? 412 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,440 -He's got enough of his own. -Hey, but-- 413 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:37,480 Okay, so what? I'm supposed to feel guilty because I like thinner ladies? 414 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,680 You could be missing the girl of your dreams 'cause she isn't the right size. 415 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,960 Listen, look at my buddies' girls, okay? There's Luz, Daniela, you know. 416 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,360 -All hotties. -Sure. 417 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:46,960 Because those guys have no personality, 418 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,080 they need to reinforce their fragile male egos. 419 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,520 What are you even talking about? 420 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,760 Okay, well, I'm gonna shower. Got three appraisals today. 421 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:57,000 -And your date with Lorena tonight. -God damn. 422 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,560 Stop finding more dates for your dad. 423 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,800 Can't you tell he doesn't like it? Guy hasn't scored this much in his life. 424 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:07,880 It's unnatural. His brain isn't ready for all this. 425 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,840 You don't care about my dad. 426 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,080 All you want is a little buddy at your booze fests for abandoned losers. 427 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,440 I wasn't abandoned, okay? I left her, and she's a mess now. 428 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:16,600 You sure? 429 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:17,960 Hmm. 430 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:18,880 Wait. 431 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,680 A text from Luz. 432 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:26,880 She wants to meet up today. She's regretting it already. 433 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,160 Oh, yeah, regretting what? I thought you left her. 434 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,040 You're… you're… you just don't get these things. Get lost. 435 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:34,560 Get lost, go study. You couldn't understand. 436 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:41,680 Here, I've got some toasted flatbread with avocado, olive oil, and bean sprouts 437 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:45,920 and chia pudding with oats and mango. Let's try it. 438 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,360 See what it tastes like. Let's see. 439 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:51,480 Mmm! Mm. 440 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,840 The chia, it's like falling head first into the sand. 441 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,760 No. I definitely prefer churros. 442 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,720 Ladies, we're losing our greasy traditions, what a shame. 443 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:02,920 What a shame. 444 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,560 Have a happy day, my virtual family. 445 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,560 Mm. This goddamn chia. 446 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,000 Mm. I'm off to the salon. 447 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,200 -What's up today? What are your plans? -Hmm, uh, plans are fluid. 448 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,080 Maybe you could go and unpack, right, darling? 449 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,280 -Right now? -I don't know or go get a checkup. 450 00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:18,440 A checkup, why? 451 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,400 I don't know, take advantage of your free time. 452 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,960 I don't see the link between opening boxes and getting a checkup. 453 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,240 I'm taking your car. 454 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,000 You're not working today either, sir? 455 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:30,600 Can't you see that I'm here? 456 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,120 -So, did you drug the boy? -Yes, yes, all done. 457 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,040 Mm. 458 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:17,640 Mm. 459 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,280 Sorry. I'm staying at Santi's place, and you know. 460 00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:23,920 There's only one bathroom, and we share a shower. 461 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,960 Don't worry. How are you? 462 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:30,720 Fine. Fine, yes. Very busy. Hmm. You? 463 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:33,520 -Well, I've been thinking and… -Me as well. 464 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,520 -I don't think we should-- -Be apart. 465 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,440 I knew you'd wise up. You're a bit headstrong at times, honey. 466 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:39,360 -No, come on. -No, no. 467 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,160 The important thing is you see your mistake. 468 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,000 I'll come home. Everything's sorted. 469 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,680 -Raúl, listen to me. -Yes, yes, yes, yes. 470 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,400 We shouldn't hold your assets in my name. 471 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:48,920 It's a big responsibility for me. 472 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,680 -And it doesn't make sense now. -Oh. 473 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,560 Find someone you trust and arrange an appointment at the notary public 474 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,080 to change it all, okay? 475 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:01,600 But you-- 476 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,080 You don't wanna get back together? 477 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,280 No, sorry, my love. 478 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,680 SANTI'S GETTING MARRIED 479 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,840 BUT WE'RE NOT 480 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,360 Man, oh, man. 481 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,240 Should I throw this out, sir? Goes in the trash? 482 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,280 No, no, no, that's the, uh, "I don't know" pile. 483 00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:39,120 I'm just separating things for now. 484 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,320 -But I can take the boxes, right? -No, really, you go. 485 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,960 -Go do whatever you gotta do. -Sorry, sorry, sir. 486 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,200 Stop following me, damn it! 487 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,560 2018 EXECUTIVE OF THE YEAR 488 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,760 You look fantastic, Esperanza. You haven't changed. How do you do it? 489 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:04,840 Surgery. 490 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,840 Well, really, you can't tell. 491 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,120 Yeah, that's the idea. Okay, tell me. 492 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,720 Nothing, well, uh, as you were all so interested in me, 493 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,120 well, maybe we could go over it again. 494 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,000 Pedro… 495 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,120 We made you that offer seven years ago. 496 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,000 I like to think things through. 497 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,320 First you said yes, and then you left us hanging. 498 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,240 We even had the press release ready. 499 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,240 Well, there was a counteroffer. 500 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,160 Oh, come on. You used us to improve your contract. 501 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,360 No, no, no, no, no, no. Esperanza, come on. 502 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,760 Not at all, I mean, if… if I offended you, I'm really sorry. 503 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:40,880 Well, yes, you actually did. 504 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,360 Well, the reason that I wanted to talk to you. 505 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:47,280 Let you know that right now I'm now available. 506 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,720 Well, good luck with that. 507 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,240 My very first paid job! 508 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,480 An eye contour! 509 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:07,400 -Where have you been all dressed up? -Uh, having-- having a checkup. 510 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,400 In the US, that's where it pays to be a cop. 511 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,720 You can use your gun or shoot 'em with your taser 512 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:25,320 if people look at you wrong. 513 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:26,720 God, how awesome. 514 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,320 Okay, but the kids there also take guns to school. 515 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,400 Yeah, but people respect cops, okay? They respect the institution. 516 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,960 And they call each other "brothers," you know. So nice. 517 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:38,520 Do you want me to call you brother? 518 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:41,440 Well, not in public, no. 519 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:45,720 But if you feel like saying it someday, like, in private, uh, I wouldn't mind. 520 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,280 God damn it, public drinking. Hmm. 521 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,440 What are you doing? Our shift ends in ten minutes, you know. 522 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:57,600 Just follow me. 523 00:26:58,800 --> 00:26:59,960 Brother. 524 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,000 Psst, hey, kids. Kids! 525 00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,480 You're in big trouble now. Come on, show me your IDs now. 526 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,120 Come on, man. No, we were just leaving. 527 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,480 What? No, no, nobody's leaving here. You pat 'em down. 528 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,640 -What's up with you? -We haven't done anything. 529 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,480 Come on, empty everything out of your pockets. 530 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,120 Are you out of your mind? 531 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,880 What did you say? You fucked up. Just turn around. 532 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,960 -Hey, hey, hey. They're recording us. -Come on. 533 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,320 Hey, phones away or I'll arrest you all. 534 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,240 -Come on, yeah. -Yeah, yeah, okay. 535 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:29,920 Get everything out your pockets. 536 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:31,640 What, is something wrong? 537 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,680 -Hi, how are you? -Hello. 538 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,000 -I wanna cancel my gym card. -Why? 539 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,800 It's just I don't really like your training system here. 540 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,480 -Uh… -What exactly don't you like about it? 541 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,160 -Oh, hello. -Hey, what's up? 542 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,200 Well, my body hurts, and I've been crabby all day. 543 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,560 And besides, I've found a more comfortable method. 544 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:55,480 What? 545 00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:58,960 Dextrimorol, 20 milligrams. 546 00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:00,520 Amphetamines. 547 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,440 They prescribed them for my son's ADHD. 548 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,960 And I started them last night, and I've only had tea today. 549 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:06,520 I'm not hungry. I'm like Kate Moss. 550 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,560 You know that's very dangerous, right? 551 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,640 Whatever. In a month, I'll be a size two. 552 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:13,560 Okay, what about the flappy skin? I'm just saying, if you stop eating 553 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,720 and you don't train, at your age, in two months, it'll all hang. 554 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,200 Stop with the chemicals and get inside. 555 00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:20,960 No, no. Besides, I don't have my gym bag. 556 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,440 -Well, we have a store here. -I pulled the back of my knee, so… 557 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,840 -We'll do some stretches, relax. -I'm really not flexible. 558 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,520 -Listen to me, uh… -Esther. 559 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:32,800 Esther. Esther. Look, if you buy a 20-session PT package with me. 560 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:33,920 -I swear-- -PT? 561 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,200 Personal training. 562 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,600 I promise that I'll get your ass as hard as a rock. 563 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:40,840 You promise? 564 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,080 And I'll throw in a personalized diet plan. 565 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,560 I'm gonna regret this. 566 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,880 Guys, you know, everyone badmouths Covid all the time. 567 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,080 It's so easy to criticize the disease, 568 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:55,000 but I will always be very grateful to the Chinese, 569 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:58,240 because thanks to this virus, I learned how to use a frying pan. 570 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,000 We've all learned how to use a frying pan. 571 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,280 I think that's why it's called a "pan-demic." 572 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:08,680 You're enjoying the show, right? 573 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:12,640 Uh, um, sorry. I just don't find stand-up comedians very funny. 574 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:14,600 They all seem a little pathetic. 575 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:17,160 Well, so much for my plan. 576 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,560 No, but, uh, I don't know. 577 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,000 They're all just a bunch of frustrated people 578 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,080 trying to monetize their misfortunes. 579 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:28,400 Or maybe other people's misfortunes, which is even worse, in my opinion. 580 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,520 Yeah, and it's always like they're looking down at us 581 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,240 from their position of public intellectual. 582 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,080 Well, I find the whole thing so lame. 583 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:37,600 You all done now? 584 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:39,680 -Hmm, well… -I'll be back soon. 585 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:43,280 Don't tell me a funny mountain lion joke, or I'll puma pants. 586 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,400 Well, I won't torture you any longer. 587 00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:55,000 I'll hand you over to my colleague Lorena Lorenzo! 588 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,760 Well, good evening, guys. How's everyone? 589 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:05,000 So before I get started pathetically monetizing my misfortunes, 590 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,440 I'd like you all to give a round of applause 591 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:11,080 to my lovely Tinder date for the evening, who hates stand-up comedians, 592 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,200 but he's suffering through this in hopes that he might get laid afterward. 593 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,800 Come on, Santi. Hope is the last thing to die. 594 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,440 You should've seen me. 595 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:28,320 There were about 20 or 30. Yeah, like 30 kids. 596 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,240 And big kids. So big these days. 597 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,960 And Julián was scared shitless. 598 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:35,600 You coming to bed? 599 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:40,680 Luis, I don't feel very well. I… I can't breathe. I can't stop it. 600 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,400 I mean, I'm having terrible palpitations, but I'm super happy. 601 00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,880 And I'm paranoid. Take me to the ER. 602 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:48,680 I'm not taking you to the ER. Drink water. 603 00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:50,600 No, no, no. No water. I wanna see a doctor. 604 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,080 -It's that green tea you drank. -Or those drugs I took. 605 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:54,240 -What now? -Whoa. 606 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,360 I wanted to know they were safe. Like a good mom. 607 00:30:58,440 --> 00:30:59,800 But how many did you take? 608 00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:01,760 Four, five pills. 609 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:03,400 Esther, that could make you sick though. 610 00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,600 That's what I'm saying. Get dressed. 611 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,160 -I'm having a heart attack. -I'm coming, coming. Wait a minute. 612 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:09,880 Is this another excuse to not have sex? 613 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,760 -Look at me right now. -Who in their right mind would do this? 614 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,160 They make you lose weight though. 615 00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,400 I told you not to read the information leaflet. 616 00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,400 I'm blind in this eye. 617 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:19,480 I laughed so much. 618 00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,720 Honestly. I mean, I had my prejudices all wrong. 619 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,080 Of course, some jokes were a little crude, you know. 620 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:29,280 The same jokes that men tell, but yes, it sounds uglier coming from a woman. 621 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:31,400 Because women are not as funny as men. 622 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,400 No, they're funnier. Okay, well, I mean, you are, at least. 623 00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,400 And besides, you write your own jokes. 624 00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:39,440 Oh, yeah. All on my own. Isn't it incredible? 625 00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:44,440 Uh, sorry, don't get me wrong. I didn't mean to sound patronizing. 626 00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,520 -Santi, you're a textbook chauvinist pig. -No. 627 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:50,800 No, no, no, no, okay? No, I really get along with all women. 628 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,640 I… I just wanted to praise your… your performance 629 00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:55,680 because, to be honest, it was nuts. 630 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,880 -And the others were cunts, huh? -Come on, you were better. 631 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,400 Nuts are good, but cunts not good. 632 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,000 See where I'm going? 633 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,160 Look, it's just a figure of speech, so-- 634 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:06,640 You think as you talk, sweetheart. 635 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,080 And we are what we eat. 636 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:09,240 What does that mean? 637 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:14,040 Nothing. No, it's just that I'm totally out of my depth right now. 638 00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:16,440 Look, we'd better get going because it's getting late. 639 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,360 -Hmm? -Oh, I thought we weren't… 640 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:22,200 If I had to rule out every chauvinist pig I came across, my hymen would grow back. 641 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:23,840 Let's go. 642 00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:26,600 Wait. 643 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,760 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Just oral sex, okay? 644 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:37,760 Uh, really? 645 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,800 I'm sorry, but for me, all penetration counts as rape. 646 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:44,360 Oh, uh… sure. 647 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,320 Uh, okay, on it. 648 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,800 Mm. 649 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:50,960 Santi. 650 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:53,920 -Mmm. -It… it was just a joke. 651 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,600 But now that you're down there… 652 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,400 Honey, why are you… honey? 653 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,000 Honey. 654 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,000 Why are you awake so late? 655 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:13,400 I wanted to talk to you. 656 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:15,720 With me? What's up? 657 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:19,160 Dad, one depressive at home is fine, but not two. 658 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:20,200 Huh? 659 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:23,360 Your friend, he's holed up in your room. He's been crying all night. 660 00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:24,720 What? Raúl's crying? 661 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,920 -What's going on? -Well, I don't know. 662 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,280 You're friends. Don't you talk about things? 663 00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,840 Talk about things? No. 664 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:35,640 You're all so weird. 665 00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:37,720 Did you score with Lorena at least? 666 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,480 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 667 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,360 Hey, you think I'm a chauvinist? 668 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:45,040 That's a yes. 669 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,240 Attention, beauty alert. 670 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:52,040 With this fabulous new Francesca Fabbretti eye contour, 671 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:54,320 my crow's feet are a thing of the past. 672 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,800 Look here. You have to try it, ladies. 673 00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,160 -I'm telling you, it's incredi-- -Crow's feet, what's that? 674 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:00,800 She made 2,000 for that. 675 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:02,960 She's earning more than you. 676 00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:04,960 My job is a vocation. I save lives. 677 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:08,000 You mean, like, when you hold the stop sign at the crosswalk? 678 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:11,080 Hey, you guys, why do we never talk about things? 679 00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:12,320 What are we doing now? 680 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,240 No, I mean, fuck, uh, 681 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:18,320 you know, well, talk about our concerns, about our feelings and stuff. 682 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,440 I don't know. What we're really worried about. 683 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,600 -Huh? -I'd stop hanging out if we did that. 684 00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,640 Uh, last night you were crying. Something must've happened. 685 00:34:27,720 --> 00:34:28,920 -Me? -Hmm. 686 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:30,560 Must've been the TV. 687 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:36,200 And you. How do you feel after getting fired in such a humiliating way? 688 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:38,480 I feel fucking great. Can't you tell? 689 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,760 -You get unemployment? -No way I'm signing up. 690 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:42,760 That's for losers, man. 691 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:46,280 Right now I don't have any issues that are that important. 692 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,240 Last night I was browsing the Internet, 693 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,600 and the term for what's happening to you now 694 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:55,120 is toxic masculinity. 695 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,680 Well, let's balance our pH then. Another beer? 696 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,200 Well, there is something I wanna talk about. 697 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:06,440 Good. 698 00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,160 Raúl, good, tell us. What is it, buddy? Open up. 699 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:11,760 Luz no longer wants my assets in her name. 700 00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:15,160 -Hmm. -So, do any of you guys wanna help me out? 701 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:21,080 -Patricia, what's the matter with you? -Sorry. I lost control of the robot. 702 00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:24,720 She loses more drones than the Americans in Afghanistan. 703 00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:27,000 Nobody answered my question. 704 00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:31,320 Uh, beer? Yes. Yes, please. 55198

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