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Hello there!

- Look, I bought myself a horse! - What kind?

It's for my old age...

- Hello! - Hello!

We've been for a ride around.

The old bag! Giddy up!

There must be at least 25 widow women

living in the area.

But only 2 or 3 of them are really fine.

The dough already looks good.

What is it?

Mrs. Budai.

Her hands were so filthy,

the dirt was flaking off her...

Hello, my old mate!

The best thing there is for potency...

The seeds. Nettle seeds.

I was petrified because my auntie scared me...

I went on the harvest with my auntie when I was a girl.

Kata Gyárfás, God rest her soul.

And she said, "You know,

when a girl does it the first time, it's like having her mouth skinned."

And I was worried sick that I'd get skinned.

Well, girls, the wedding night is a bit painful,

I'm sorry!

My husband lay down. I said, "You lie down, I will later..."

I lay down.

When he reached over for a cuddle, I got out of bed on the other side.

Back then, a carpenter made a bed in the old-fashioned way

and the side boards that hold the slats

were only fixed to the ends with two nails.

And when we lay down...

but we really hadn't done anything yet...

we fell "plop" on the floor.

Then we had to crawl out from under the bed.

That's what happened.

My godfather made it.

The boards fell down and the straw mattress went with them.

Our feet and our heads were in the same place.

We had a good laugh at that

and then we made space for ourselves.

My husband crawled out then pulled me out from underneath.

Other folks had a bell tied to the bottom of the bed

so they'd hear if they were doing anything and it would ring...

We're going to need 70.

- Some people's beds were end to end. - Mine was, too.

Young and old together.

There were two rooms: the best room and the kitchen.

The best room had the clean things and our beds were end to end for a year.

We had to make the best of it.

- Weren't you ashamed? - Ashamed of what?

Folks did it quietly back then, they didn't moan!

- Have you got a suitor now? - Of course I have!

I wouldn't get married a second time or a third time.

I wouldn't marry any of my suitors because it's been so long since...

I reckon it's healed up and I'd have to start all over again

like on my wedding night.

When he wanted to cuddle up, I'd get out of one side of the bed.

Then he'd lure me back.

He'd cuddle me and I'd get out again and again.

The poor man must have suffered.

I wasn't in the mood. I said, "I'm not in the mood."

When he saw that I felt attracted to him,

he tried a bit of what they call "foreplay".

We'd lie down and he started kissing me and everything

on my neck and all over, saying "I love you" and "I adore you".

And that had such an effect on me that it got as popular as eating!

Hello, my little lovelies!

I'm older, you see...

That's not a problem! Good health!

...by two years. I was born in '31.

Everything in its own time!

Then it's the nicest and the best.

Ferenc, will you drink coffee?

And old mate of mine said,

"Why didn't God take the desire when he took the ability?"

There's still desire, but no ability?

And you want her so much it's killing you.

That's what I'm saying!

Beautiful...

Love is a really beautiful thing.

A woman didn't dare tell her husband, "I'd like to now..."

Nowadays they say, "Let's screw,

come on..."

A wife didn't say that to a man.

She stuck her foot over there.

That's how she signalled that she wanted to do it.

"Why don't you tell me?

Don't tickle my foot because I'm ticklish."

Things were nice back then.

I had such wonderful breasts! Oh!

They called me "the girl with the pointy tits"!

I was the prettiest girl and the cleverest, too.

Oh, I kissed them all.

They were all crazy for me!

If I liked a boy, I said "you can walk me home"

or I'd say "you can come" or "you can't" or "I don't need you"...

I was awful. I was a stuck-up little thing.

They all said that I was stuck-up.

And I sewed my own clothes,

and I always looked pretty.

I was 16 years old and me and my brother went to dance class...

Well, I knew how to dance. I knew all the dances.

The dance teacher came over

and took my hand

and took me to the middle...

"Pay attention! One-two, one-two, one-two."

And I did it after him.

And he grabbed me and took me around like a whirlwind

and I waltzed for all the world from the first minute.

He used to demonstrate all the dances with me!

Then, to top it all off, I won the beauty contest.

I knew right away which way the wind was blowing.

Then I said, "I'm going now."

He said, "Good evening, little girl. Don't be in such a hurry!

I'll walk you home if you'll let me!"

Well, I said, "Come along then!"

And so he came with me and he stayed with me for 50 years.

Lizzie!

Elizabeth!

It was Pentecost Saturday...

I brought the empty bottles up

and heard a noise coming from that room.

"How did a cat get in here?" I thought.

And as I was thinking, the door opened,

and the bloke jumped out.

He was 45 and divorced.

He jumped out and I grabbed a beer bottle and knocked him on the head.

I turned around and as he ran out, I hit him on the head and he ran away.

I looked out of the window

and I saw him taking wine to the old man.

I said, "I've got something to give you with this pipe!"

"Let me have one smack at you

and you'll forget how to get into my house!"

Then I went and asked, "Is that bastard here?"

I said it there at the kitchen door.

And he sat at the table by the door

and asked, "What is it?"

That's what he said to me.

But by then I was already there, and holding the metal pipe,

and I hit him on the head so he forgot everything.

And over and over, like a thresher,

I whacked him with the pipe until he fell off the chair.

I beat Laci Danóczi to death.

I was 80 years old.

In prison.

Oh, my God!

Love, if it has to last until the grave, let it last

and be happy,

kiss him, meet his needs.

The faith even says

if your hands are in the dough and your husband is going away,

take your hands from the dough and wash them, meet his needs,

and you can go back to kneading after that.

Drop everything and just do it...

whether you enjoyed it or not,

for him to move along... What kind of thing is that?

I see films on TV and I see how in love they are...

It was nothing like that, believe me.

It felt like being stabbed in the back with a knife

but if you'd said your vows to a man, you had to let him do it,

and that's all.

A man should be in the proper place!

On top!

You lifted her legs up

and she held your head

and rubbed it,

and you knew she was enjoying it.

"Don't go!

Stay! It's perfect like this!"

Sorry?

What do they do now?

The man lies down, the woman squats over him

and rides him like there's no tomorrow.

Your back almost breaks,

your weapon almost breaks off.

No!

You cuddle her, kiss her, run your

hands over that adorable little bump...

caress it...

And you melt together...

and if you feel like it,

you do it again...

We never got undressed in front of each other. No.

I don't even know when.

I never stood stark naked in front of my husband.

Ever.

I always had knickers

or a slip or something on... I never got completely undressed.

We weren't used to it and they didn't even expect it.

We might kiss each other's faces.

If we kissed each other on the mouth, it was very loving,

and that was real love. But just that.

There was no sticking your tongue in each other's mouths, my God!

The old ladies didn't wear knickers.

They were so afraid of rolling down the hill!

A couple of glasses of brandy

when they went up into the woods because they had to shear the sheep.

And then the men grabbed the women

and rolled with them down the hill!

It's sprouting where it's good and thick.

Yes,

but it's trampled down everywhere.

- What a pretty blue forget-me-not! - How pretty!

Dear mother mine...

Dear mother mine, we brought you warm hearts,

red roses and blue forget-me-nots to your altar thine...

...but that's all I know of it.

Go up here on those footholds...

We've got smoke so we'll soon be in business.

Do you know the saying?

- "Smoke to the guilty, flames to the true." - Yes.

There you are!

Thank the Lord for this day. God give you long life.

Thanks to the good Lord, He helped us get here.

Let Him help us with the food, and with getting home.

Even the fire will burn better, you'll see.

- That Pista Tegyele... - Yes...

... grabbed me, and that man really knew how to roll down the hill.

He put his arm and elbow around you

and pinned your legs together with his legs

so that your skirt didn't spread out.

And that's how we went down and I never felt when he was on top

when we were rolling down the hill.

Not with your husband, because if a man liked a woman,

he grabbed you and rolled down the hill with you.

And it caused a lot of jealousy.

Is this good now, or not?

- Which one? - Mine here.

You're staying quiet about whether you went into the bushes.

- I said I didn't go there! - Well then how did you roll down?

We rolled down and we stood up when we got to the bottom.

- Amen to that. - Amen.

Sin goes with denial.

- You're telling me. - Look, there's the train!

Even an old goat likes a lick of the salt.

Back slowly, back, go!

Go...

....let them go!

Careful next time!

Go... go...

I'll get the whip, you son of a... Giddy up!

Look what you're doing,

messing around!

A man from Szenttamás came courting.

"You know what?

You go home! Don't ask for my hand!

I won't have worries for my head or work for my pussy!"

Good idea.

Soon it's our turn.

I drink my wine and hold my girl,

I'll never reach across the world.

Me and Feri went to the baths in Dánfala,

and by now we are grown-up enough

so we bathed in the same cabin but in two tubs.

And he got undressed, and so did I.

And last year, we weren't shy.

Well, I was a bit shy.

But he just grabbed me, licked me and kissed me all over,

and it was unbelievable, all the things he did!

We used to be foolish, we were afraid

and we missed out on so many good things.

But not anymore.

How I missed you, of course I missed you.

Age breaks a person, you know.

Do you get so dizzy

that you can't come on a bike even when the snow melts?

- Of course I can! - The heart can love until the grave!

- That's for sure. - That's true.

To the grave!

Look, I was a little bit...

- What? - It hurt my feelings a bit

but then I accepted it.

My glasses, my glasses...

I don't love you? What kind of talk is that, of course I love you.

Ah, you!

I enjoy life. I enjoy it!

I fed my wife for almost 2 years.

I washed her and did everything.

And even when she messed herself,

I knew what to do...

because I learned to deal with patients like that in the hospital.

I went out into the forest

and gathered little red forest strawberries for her, in a box.

Then I set about making chicken soup when I got home.

Chicken soup.

And I fried what we call watered-down pancakes.

The thin kind you can fry quickly.

And then on that last evening before her major paralysis,

was when my wife said to me,

"I want you to know I never could stand you!"

So I said, "Why did you stay with me if you couldn't stand me?!"

Then she passed on, and now she's gone.

Oh, it's going out.

Maybe it'll catch again. I'll put a bit more on...

A few thin ones

then maybe it'll catch light again.

We had a neighbour, we lived on a different street,

he was younger than me by about 7 years.

She gave herself to him.

Then he always, always,

always, always used her. To put it plainly, he used her.

He used her.

I caught them here, in my house.

There was a little pantry, just like my pantry here.

They were doing things in there.

When I stepped through the door from outside,

I saw what they were doing.

All my wife did when she saw me...

She was surprised when I opened the door.

She said, "Heh!"

All she did was say "heh" when she saw me.

There was a ladder going up to the loft from the pantry.

And I saw the bloke run up it.

And then, so he could leave without us fighting,

I went out into the garden.

Then he left.

But I never even mentioned her behaviour to my wife.

Her way of thinking was that she readily gave herself to others.

But then she didn't only do it with the neighbour,

she even did it with the farm labourers.

Well, I dreamt of her here in my bed a couple of times.

And when I woke up in the morning,

I was so... I was so cheered up because I dreamt of her.

Really!

She was always like...

Even now, she wanted so much that...

So I told her to look for someone else!

I would have never been enough for her, no matter what.

I told her, "Let's go up the hill, there near the baths

in the open air,

and put the blanket down and hide away where people don't go

and we can talk and eat and drink and we'll see."

She said, "Why?"

"Here you are and thanks for nothing?"

"But there in the tub, it was how it was." So.

To tell you the truth. Am I wrong?

"In the tub it was how it was

and isn't that good for you?"

"Then find someone younger and stronger

who can serve your needs perfectly."

"Oh, you're good as you are!"

In theory, but there's nothing more.

Leave me alone! Stay right where you are!

You know what I say?

I can't have a good one,

and I don't need a bad one!

I've been mad about love and kissing all my life. I still am.

Oh, it's so good!

My God, it's good!

Almost my whole life went by without knowing what pleasure is.

Real pleasure.

My husband was 77 years old when he died.

No, he was 67, sorry.

67... And I am 3 years younger than him.

A long time passed after he died,

then once I was just washing myself after work...

I worked as a cook in private homes.

...I was washing myself

and my hand barely touched down there,

and suddenly something shook me,

something so unusual, so strange,

it gave me the shivers...

"Now that's it!" I said.

And I told myself that if I had a man,

someone I really loved... But who?

I was 13 years old, or 14.

My mother dared to let such a young girl out into the wide world.

Because she had to let me go.

I worked for 5 years and 3 months far from home.

I hadn't even fallen asleep and suddenly the bathroom door opened.

I'd already turned towards the wall under the covers.

And I was looking to see what my master wanted.

Where he was going? Did he want to go out? What did he want?

And he was wearing a pyjama top.

I'd never seen a man's cock before.

He walked over with his big, filthy, stinky cock...

He switched on the light and looked to see if I was looking back at him.

I was frightened so I turned towards the wall...

I thought he'd go back,

even then I didn't think of THAT...

He snatched the covers up in the air

and got into bed next to me

with his cock standing up.

Oh, I moved over towards the wall!

He promised me the sun, moon and stars...

I beat against the wall, shouted, "Help! Help!"

And the two little ones, his 6-year-old son

and 3-year-old daughter, came over

because their bed was on the other side of the wall.

Then my master

got up

and slapped them both so hard across the face

- that the marks stayed there. - "Why did you come here?"

Then they knocked on the door and the butler came up.

With this heart of mine,

no matter how old I am...

I've always loved what's good and beautiful, and everything.

If I couldn't do it with a young man, I don't need someone old to poke me.

And to have a young man! Oh... if things would be that way

or here in the village, you could have a lover in secret...

What I say to every young person is do it as long as it feels good

don't save it for later, because by our age...

Now it's drying up like the well!

- There's no moisture left. - The water's all run out of it.

The energy runs out.

The arm of the well dries out, too. That's what happens to men.

So then we stopped it no problem, there are others.

I'll give it some thought.

Of course!

There's a 60-year-old here! Younger, that's it!

Of course! And not just one!

But not every night or whatever...

I couldn't have done that even at 80.

But a person did want it.

I can handle it!

Not all at once, one by one!

Veronka is a very fine woman.

I'd have her right now.

I loved women, I loved drinking,

I loved dancing, I loved working!

The sun didn't rise in vain for me!

That was my life.

I don't know anything in life

better or more beautiful than being in love.

... a girl walks down the street in Pest,

after her a beau, and he looks his very best...

Do you know what happened?

She was already having pains when they called me

and she had to lie down. A leg came out! A leg!

I took the nappy and pushed it back. I asked if it hurt.

"Tell me if it hurts."

I didn't say what I was doing.

I pushed that leg back, she said it didn't hurt.

But that one leg came out at least three times.

Then when I pushed it back,

I saw by its little heel there was... a little round bump.

Then I carefully reached out with the nappy and grabbed it

and started to pull it, and I held the other one back

and then I kept pulling until two legs came out.

Then her arms were stuck up... The arms wouldn't come.

And then I held it like this so that, you know, she wouldn't tear.

I felt that her heartbeat weakening.

I said, "Push, or your daughter will die!"

- "Is it a girl, too?" - "I don't know."

I was afraid she wouldn't push if I told her it was a girl.

Then I struggled with her until she was born.

But she was completely blue, no sound from her, nothing at all.

I tried to swing her around by her ankles, but nothing worked.

I put her down

and wiped her mouth and started to blow air into her mouth.

And Gizi was watching from the pantry door.

"Oh, Veronka, aren't you disgusted?"

And I said, "She'll never be cleaner than this! What's disgusting?"

Then the little girl cried, I let her have a good cry,

then I cut the cord, I asked for alcohol and everything.

I started to swaddle her and along came the ...

- ...shall I cut it on the cutting board? - Or press it!

When they brought the doctor, Szentgyörgyi,

he said, "Miss Veronka,

I wouldn't have done this here at home!"

Csilla would have died if I hadn't been there.

They should have taken her away.

She wouldn't have been born and she'd have died.

Because, as I say, she was dying. She was blue like blue cotton cloth.

She cleaned herself up and everything

because if she's going to bed with a man, she should be a certain way...

Smelling good!

He said, "Listen, go home,

- be natural for me tomorrow or..." - "Come with your own smell!"

"Don't wash yourself for me and don't use any perfume!

I got so much perfume from my wife that for me..."

"Have your normal smell for me!"

My uncle, Imre Dobos, God rest his soul,

said a good pussy smells like strong butter!

Your Uncle János said a good pussy smells like herring!

Oh heavens!

- My God! - Like herring. That's what he liked.

But there's something to that...

There's a song about the smell of your skin...

Listen here, because I'll tell you something good!

You know, we didn't really know how to have pleasure.

At Mari's wedding,

Auntie Krisztina was the cook.

And we were complaining, we young wives, that we didn't enjoy it.

And she said, "Oh you silly geese, why not..."

"What? Auntie Krisztina, please tell us!"

"No! First we finish work and then after that."

- "Auntie Krisztina please tell us!" - "No!"

"I'll tell you how you can pleasure without a man!"

"Oh Auntie Krisztina, how? How?"

- "You go home... - you men close your eyes and ears -

put a little lard on your fingers and your clit..."

"You'll have pleasure like something out of this world!"

None of that for me!

Now wait a minute!

It doesn't matter, if it's for you or not!

I went home and tried it, and you can have pleasure like mad!

I don't care, whatever, none of that for me!

- Oh, what have I learned?! - Listen!

I understand that maybe you can...

...but dry, well...

But without any kissing, without a little sweetness,

without a little foreplay,

without a little of anything it's not worth a pile of shit!

I tell you, dry, you, dry!

Well bollocks, I don't want it dry!

- What does it mean? - It's what I told you!

- That's completely worthless! - I want none of that loving!

Oh, this isn't loving, my dear, this is just pleasure, and dry!

- I don't want any of that! - Without a man?

- Try it tonight! - Me, now?

Try it tonight! Dry!

Let's go!

Come on, let's go up, let's go!

For you... listen, Róza!

Your tits will hold you, it'll be nice and soft!

Nothing will happen to your tits!

- Should I get my nice blouse all dirty? - Yes!

- Your hair won't break! - Where are you, Róza?

I'll lie down here, I'll try it,

I have to slow myself down.

Stand up Rudi, stand up!

What a bunch of old fools we are!

How are you coming?

My tits are taking me that way...

My problem is my bum's big

and it goes in a different direction, not where it should.