Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

(upbeat music)

* Oh, I gotta, be gotta be, gotta be *

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

* Santa for someone

* Yeah, I gotta, be gotta be, gotta be *

* Santa for someone

* Oh, I gotta, be gotta be, gotta be *

* Santa for someone

* Santa to someone

* Yeah, I gotta, be gotta be, gotta be *

* A Santa for someone

* Oh yeah

- It's a school for Santas.

Mall Santas, party Santas, parade Santas,

I mean, these are rigorous jobs.

And so my dad saw the need to train these Santas,

and he bought this campground

and started, well,

North Star Training Academy for Santas.

I've been working here my whole life,

and it's a dream come true.

(phone buzzing)

I have to take this,

but if you make your way down to that building,

there is some hot cocoa and cookies waiting for you.

Okay.

Hi!

No, no. Now's a great time.

Thank you.

I would love that.

(upbeat music continues)

* Santa for someone

- Bailey, call me back.

I got that manager job.

Finally no more Christmas every day, every hour

of my life.

And the money's great.

Anyway, call me back.

I'm gonna tell Dad about it.

Wish me luck.

Okay.

- 8,000 Santas and growing in America,

and they all wanna see us.

We could hire more staff,

see more students, make more money if we just raise prices.

- But then some people might not be able to afford it.

I know you don't want to hear this,

but what you're saying, Blaise,

it's not in the spirit of Christmas.

- Well, I hope Santa puts a new business manager

under your tree this year.

You've done so much for me, Richard,

and you started something great here,

but there is so much money out there.

I can't watch you refuse to take it anymore.

I'm sorry.

Ciao.

Ciao. Ciao.

(door creaks)

(Blaise coughs)

Merry Christmas, Kate.

- Merry Christmas, Blaise.

Hi, Dad.

- Kate, how does a promotion sound?

(bright music)

* All I need, all I want, all I need *

- Great.

* All I need, all I want, all I need *

* Light up my room with carols

- [Kate] Bailey?

* Playing Sinatra on the beat

- [Kate] We gotta go.

Dad's leaving right now. - Oh, yep. Yep. Yep.

We're saving.

- Like now.

- Saving, saving, saving.

* I don't wanna be alone no more *

- [Kate] Oh, please.

* If only he could walk right through my door *

* Christmas is my favorite time of year *

- It's too early for Christmas music.

- What do you mean?

It's November.

- No, no, no, no. - It's already November.

- No, no, no, no.

We just finished Halloween.

We're gonna be listening to this all day at the Academy.

Please. Please.

- Okay. Can we stop for a quick coffee?

Quick one. A quick one.

I'll buy.

- Unbelievable. - Thank you.

(upbeat music)

* Christmas is here

* Christmas is here

* Christmas is here

* And it's my favorite time of year *

- Ah, no!

(knuckles tapping)

Ah!

(window whirring)

Dan.

- Pleasure to see you as always.

- Pleasure's all yours.

- Just gonna go grab a candy cane latte.

Can I get you a drink or piece of pie?

- Maybe some peace and quiet.

- Well, once upon a time, you liked me.

- Well, that was before you took a job

as an errand boy working for the enemy.

- Errand boy?

No, no, no. I'm a Santa trainer.

Best Santa trainer in America,

according to "The Santa Sentinel."

You can keep it 'cause I got plenty.

- Is that so?

- You know, all this hostility isn't very Christmassy.

What's your problem with me?

- I don't have a problem.

I've got problems, plural.

Your school is draining the life out of mine,

you drive an overcompensation-mobile,

and you are dressed like a literal red flag.

- So you're saying we're not going on

that second date anytime soon?

- It wasn't a date

- We met on a dating app.

- It was a scheduled interaction designed

for social networking with the potential

of, you know, recreation.

- Translation: it was a date.

- Translate this.

- Ow.

(window whirring)

For what it's worth,

I had a good time.

(bright festive music)

- Thought you weren't going to make it.

- [Bailey] And miss saying goodbye?

- [Kate] No way. - [Bailey] I don't think so.

- Absolutely not.

How are you gonna fit all that in there?

- One box at a time.

- Candy cane latte for the road?

- Thanks, sweetheart.

Mind running inside, doing a final sweep?

- Sure thing, Daddy.

- Thank you.

Not too late to unretire.

- If I could, I would.

Doc said I was working too hard.

- I know.

- Time to head to Florida.

Condo's throwing a welcome party for me.

There's a pitcher of margaritas with my name on it.

- Oh, can I help you move in?

- I need you here running the school.

- I know you do.

- The future is bright, Katie.

Maybe with you in charge,

North Star can finally win the Christmas Cup.

No better way to showcase top-tier Santas

than a talent competition.

The two best Santa schools against each other, head to head.

You can win and get our students

those elite Santa jobs.

I know it.

- I know, Daddy.

But you're the reason people love North Star.

You are North Star.

- I believe in you.

And a little belief goes a long way, Katie Kat.

I think you might really enjoy being in charge,

making it your own.

Give it a chance.

- [Bailey] All clear inside.

(door thuds)

(gentle music)

- I love you girls.

- I love you, Daddy.

- I'll be back for Christmas.

- You'd better.

Ah, coffee!

Enjoy the margaritas.

(Richard chuckling)

- Oh!

- North Star is winning the Christmas Cup this year.

I can feel it.

- We have literally never won the Christmas Cup, Daddy,

but I hear what you're saying.

I just don't think it's possible.

- Possible is so boring.

(gentle music continues)

Try living impossibly for a change.

- Well?

- Okay.

(gentle music continues)

Hey, Bails?

- [Bailey] Yeah?

- You mind, I don't know, cleaning up?

- I will have you know

that I have been busy.

- Yeah. Busy looking for those tenure track jobs I see.

- "To lose patience is to lose the battle," Mahatma Gandhi.

- Oh.

Well, didn't Gandhi also say if your sister lets you move

in with her for six months after graduation, help out?

- That's an oddly specific thing

for Gandhi to say.

- Isn't it?

- No, actually I'll have you know,

I have been busy with this.

- [Kate] You've been studying?

- I have my doctorate.

If nothing else, I'm very good at studying,

and I have some ideas.

Now, don't be shocked.

I'd like to help out.

- Wow.

- Okay. How'd those interviews go today?

- Ah, well Dad did the job of, like, five people

and we can't afford five people.

We can barely afford one, so there's that.

- You know, if we could actually win the Christmas Cup,

we could turn this all around in one season.

- Well, that's highly unlikely, so...

- Or it's exactly what Dad said.

Maybe a little belief could go a long way?

- There's just one problem.

(tense music)

(Santas chattering)

- Okay, thank you.

- Yeah, uh-huh?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let's talk expansion.

Easter Bunny education,

leprechaun lessons,

Cupid camp.

Yeah. Yeah.

All right, yeah. Just run it by the board.

Okay. Ciao, amigo.

Ciao. Ciao. Ciao. Ciao. Ciao. Ciao.

Dan the man.

You, my friend, are a legend.

The work you've done training those new trainers? Essential.

We wouldn't be where we are today without you.

- Stop. You're making me blush over here.

- Man, we're gonna miss you around here.

- Miss me?

- Yeah, I don't like to use the word firing.

It has all these negative connotations-

- Wait, what?

- I prefer employee-employer conscious uncoupling.

- Wait, why are you uncoupling me?

I don't understand.

I'm the best Santa trainer you have.

- You are.

But the new trainers earn a much lower salary

and the board has to make cuts

to give themselves those year-end bonuses.

So, you know?

- Couldn't they just take a cut on their year-end bonuses?

(Blaise laughing)

- Ah, well it's been a great run.

Could you leave the keys

to the company car with my secretary?

Oh, and don't worry.

An Uber home is in the severance package.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I mean, Saint Nick's here is my home.

I mean, I got no family here, no town to return to.

I mean, my parents are living in London.

You know that.

Blaise, come on, buddy.

You said you were gonna look out for me.

- And if you need a reference,

I'll give you a recommendation so glowing.

Boop.

Yeah?

(elevator whirring)

(tense music)

- Recommendation so glowing.

I'll give you a recommendation!

Maybe don't fire your best Santa trainer!

(tense music continues)

What am I gonna do?

(tense music continues)

- Six people have already dropped out since Dad left.

(door taps)

We're still short staffed,

and they're telling me that there's going

to be a blizzard this weekend.

Honestly, I don't know how things could get any worse.

- Kate.

- [Kate] Ugh. I'm gonna have to call you back.

- Okay.

Kate, you are in luck.

- You're moving to another continent?

- Better. I'm defecting.

- Ugh. Well, that's hardly news.

You've been defective for years.

- Not defective, Kate. Defecting.

You're right. I don't know why I'm working over there.

I should be working here at North Star.

- When did they fire you?

- They didn't fire me.

It was an employee-employer conscious uncoupling.

- So they fired you?

- So they fired me.

You know what? Do you know what that makes me?

Highly motivated, Kate.

- [Kate] Mm-hm.

- Where's your dad?

He'll see the value that I can bring to this company.

- He's not here.

- Oh, okay. Well, where is he?

- Condo near Pensacola.

- Wait, he's retired?

- Yep.

- And you're taking over? - [Kate] Yep.

- So you're gonna need someone to help replace him.

- Nope.

- Kate, what are you talking about?

Your dad's the one that did all the heavy lifting here.

I mean, let me help you lighten the load.

You know, I can breathe some fresh air

into this place, don't you think?

- Not interested.

- I can help North Star win the Christmas Cup.

(Kate scoffs)

I can.

- Okay.

- Best Santa Trainer in all of America.

- Yeah.

Even if it were that simple, Dan,

I don't think I could bear the mental gymnastics

that would be going on inside my brain

just dealing with you.

No, thank you.

- Okay.

- Thank you.

(fire crackling)

(melancholy music)

- Look, all cards on the table here.

(Kate sighs)

I got a mortgage to pay, okay?

And yes, I could go get a non-Christmas job,

but this is what I'm good at, Kate.

This is what I live for.

This is what I love.

(melancholy music continues)

Seeing a kid's eyes light up when he sees a Santa

that he can believe in means everything to me, Kate.

- You really just did that?

- One session.

You need to win, I need a job,

and we both wanna beat Saint Nicholas.

What do you say?

(fire crackling)

- One session.

- Candy canes.

Yes. That's all I needed to hear!

That's all I need! - That doesn't mean

I'm bringing you on.

- Okay.

One more thing though.

So Blaise took the company car.

- Oh my God.

- I'm not asking you for a company car.

I just thought maybe we could carpool.

- I don't wanna carpool.

- [Dan] I'll pay for gas.

- You're gonna pay for gas?

- Yes.

Please.

- Fine. - Thank you.

- I'll pick you up. - Thank you.

- Well, gimme your number so we can arrange it.

- What? You don't still have it?

- No, I don't still have it.

Why? Do you still have mine?

- No.

- [Kate] Oh, you do. - Mm-mm.

- You still have my number.

Did you think we were going on a second date?

- I thought there was a chance that you'd come around

and realize I'm the most eligible bachelor

here. - Oh, what?

You know what, Dan?

- No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going now.

Trust me, you will not regret this.

- I already regret this.

(bright festive music)

(phone buzzing)

(bright festive music continues)

Hey, Ned.

- Kate. Hey, I just heard.

Congratulations.

How does it feel to be the owner of North Star?

- Well, probably not as good

as it feels to be an owner of a couple of malls.

(Ned chuckling)

- I'm just confirming

that you're still bringing your students

to the town center for training this week.

- Absolutely, yes.

Thank you very much.

- Oh, you kidding?

When I was just starting out,

I had no idea how to do a mall Christmas right.

Your dad was a huge help.

He's one of the all-time greats.

- Well, judging by the amount of people

that dropped out this session,

I think the rest of the world agrees with you.

- Well, give it some time.

You'll turn things around.

Hey, it'll be great to see you.

Wait till you see the Christmas Village

we're putting up this year.

It's magnificent

- Christmas Village?

Isn't it a little early for a Christmas Village?

- Ah, you're hilarious.

I'll see you soon.

(wind whooshing)

- [Bailey] How's the weather looking?

(melancholy music)

- Not great.

(melancholy music continues) (wind whooshing)

(horn beeps)

- I'm coming. I'll be right there.

She's right on time.

Good morning.

- What are you doing?

- What?

- You can't bring that in here.

- What? You got a problem with hot cocoa?

- Yeah, I got a problem with hot cocoa.

I got something against hot cocoa getting spilled

all over my interior.

- Oh, gimme a break.

I have never spilled a drop of hot cocoa in my entire life.

I mean, look at this. - Hey. Hey.

What?

- I swear.

- Oh!

(Kate gasps)

Gotcha.

(Dan slurping)

- You're unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

(wind whooshing)

(Dan slurping)

- It's so good.

Mind if we listen to some music?

- Yes, please.

Just not anything...

* Up on the housetop, reindeer pause *

* Out jumps good old Santa Claus *

(Kate and Dan screaming)

(tires squealing)

* With lots of toys

* All for the little ones' Christmas joys *

* Ho, ho, ho

* Who wouldn't know

* Ho, ho, ho

* Who wouldn't know

- Don't act like you're not impressed.

(Kate sighs)

(wind whooshing)

- Hey, are you okay?

- Hey, you okay, buddy?

- [Nick] I believe so.

- Where did you come from?

- How did you get here?

- I don't recall.

I haven't seen a familiar vehicle along this path.

- That's a really good Santa costume.

- Kind of you to say.

I don't remember putting it on,

but it's keeping out the cold well enough.

- What's your name?

(wind whooshing)

- I'm not sure.

- Uh-huh.

Well, what do you remember?

- Snow, and trees.

An ocean of trees.

(curious music)

- Okay, he said he came from this direction.

Maybe he's a hitchhiker and he just kinda lost his way.

- Or he's a carjacker and he's hijacking my car right now.

- That is not very Christmassy, Kate.

You know, he's probably one of our students

and he just got lost out here.

- That's probably likely.

I mean, what else could it be?

(Kate gasps)

(curious music)

(reindeer snorting)

It's not what it looks like.

- Maybe it's exactly what it looks like.

(curious music continues)

(hooves thudding)

(curious music continues)

(cup tinkling)

- We just saw what I think we just saw, right?

(wind whooshing)

- I didn't see anything. - No.

What are you talking about? - No, Dan.

- What are you talking about? - No, Dan.

- We both just saw that. - No, no.

- We saw a sleigh get pulled- - No! No!

- By reindeer up into the forest canopy.

We saw that. - No!

- It means that man out there is...

- Don't! Don't! Don't! - Santa.

(bells jingling) (crow cawing)

- What are we gotta do?

We gotta call an ambulance.

No, we gotta call the police, Dan.

- No, no, no, police? - We gotta call the police.

- We can't call the police!

- What do you mean? Yes we can.

I got full bars here.

- Kate, we're not calling the cops.

That's Santa.

That is the Santa.

- We don't know that for sure.

- What are you talking about? - We don't know that for sure.

- We know that for sure. - No!

- We saw that out there.

And while he might remember some things,

he obviously does not remember that he's Santa.

What's gonna happen if they take him away?

What's gonna happen to Christmas?

- They're just gonna ask him some questions.

- Ask him some questions? - Yeah.

- Ask him some questions.

Kate, what if the authorities find out who he is?

They're gonna run some tests, Kate.

- What? - Remember what

happened to ET, Kate! ET.

- Okay.

What are we supposed to do about it?

(wind whooshing)

- I don't know.

We take him with us to North Star.

- What? No, that's crazy. - Yes. Yes.

- What are we gonna tell people?

That we found Santa? - We take him to North Star.

Yes. No, no, no. - They're never gonna believe

us that we found Santa. - We take him to North Star.

We surround him with other Santas

dressed like Santas doing Santa activities.

Maybe he remembers who he is.

- Fine.

I'm not gonna be the one that ruins Christmas.

- No, you're gonna be the one that saves Christmas, Kate!

And North Star.

(bright music)

And it would be a nice, dry, safe, warm space

for you to come,

surrounded by other people dressed like Santas.

You know, like you.

And, anyway, if you wanted to come.

And, you know, just be with us until your memory returns.

How's that sound?

- Or we could call the police.

(Dan scoffs)

- This school of Santas of which you speak,

this intrigues me.

- Ah, I bet it does. - Really?

- It probably naturally does.

- I'd be glad to join you.

- You would?

- Truly!

I can't think of a better way to pass the time

than reveling in holiday spirits with friendly companions.

(Nick chuckling)

Now, may we proceed?

(wind whooshing)

I have an odd craving for milk and cookies.

- Kate, it's him.

("Here Comes Santa Claus")

- If you just follow this yellow sign here past the park,

and you will find the barracks.

- Yes, ma'am.

("Here Comes Santa Claus")

- Excuse me. Hi. - Hi.

- I'm looking for the barracks.

- Of course.

It's just, follow that yellow sign.

- Oh, thanks. - Yeah.

I'm Bailey. - Oh, Timothy.

- Need help with your bags, Timothy?

- Oh, no, no, no. - Jesus, what do you have

in here? - I've got...

- Your anvil collection?

- Books, actually.

I'm writing my thesis on Santa mythology.

- I just graduated with my doctorate

in European folklore last spring.

- No way! - Yeah!

So what are you doing here?

- Immersion into Santa's presence in our culture

for research purposes.

Why are you here?

- Shockingly not a huge job market

for the doctors of folklore.

(Timothy laughs)

Hey, where've you been? - Hey!

Traffic.

- Yeah.

- [Bailey] This must be a new student.

- Yes. - Yes.

This is...

This is...

- This is Nick.

- [Kate] Nick. That's right.

- And that's a great name for him.

And we should probably get him inside

because he had a long flight to get here.

- [Kate] That's right.

- So there we go.

(bright music)

This is everybody?

So it's these seven? - Yeah.

- Versus everybody at Saint Nicholas?

- Mm-hm.

- Okay. Well, they have character.

(bright music continues)

- Okay, why don't we

introduce ourselves. - Introduce ourselves.

- And say why we're here.

- Okay. I'll go first.

Hey, name's Isaac Arnstein.

What can I say, man? I am a wanderer.

I need a part-time job to keep my van's tank full,

and what's a better holiday gig than being Santa, right?

Making all those families happy and candy and stuff.

- Patrick, I thought my grandkids

would like seeing me as Santa.

- That's nice. - Yeah.

- Then they told me I couldn't do it, that I'm too old,

move too slow.

So now I'm here to prove my grandkids wrong.

- Nice.

- Okay.

- Megan Janssen.

I wanna be a Santa. That's it.

- I hate to interrupt, but I know being Jewish,

I might be a little outta the loop on Christmas customs.

But wouldn't you traditionally be better suited

to be Mrs. Claus?

- Don't wanna be Mrs. Claus.

My mother always said I couldn't do anything I want

if I put my mind to it.

I was black belt in jujitsu when I was 16.

Won bronze for shot put in Rio.

If I wanna be Santa, I will be Santa.

- Okay.

Yeah. Okay.

- Who's next?

- I'm Nick.

I am over the moon to be counted amongst you.

I'm here because the owner of the school found me

by the side of the road,

and thought I'd be a great fit-

- While he was- - Ah!

- Not- - Waiting for us

to pick him up. - For a ride.

- Because he signed up.

(milk burbling)

(milk burbling)

Yeah. Things can't get any weirder than that.

- Hi, I'm Jimmy, and this is Bruce.

I'm super excited to be here,

and really excited to become a Santa.

Bruce is really shy

and I help him express himself.

Nobody wants to know about that right now.

So I thought it would be a great idea for Bruce

to meet some new people,

hang out, have some fun.

Hey, guess what?

I went to college with Elf on a Shelf.

(people laughing)

- You guys seeing this?

He's funny. I like this guy.

- So a puppet can be Santa and I can't?

- [Isaac] I did not say that. - You just said that.

- No, those words did not come

outta my mouth. - No, Jimmy's not a puppet.

He's a figure.

- I figured you lost your mind.

- Hey, steady, old man.

- What you gonna do, little tiny hands?

- What am I gonna do

with these tiny hands? - I will yank your ass

outta here! - You have no idea

what these tiny hands. - You belong in a trunk!

- [Bruce] Yeah, you want a piece of me?

You want a piece of me? - [Isaac] Well, because,

I don't know.

- Looks like we're not gonna be able

to introduce ourselves at this rate.

I'm Timothy.

- Paul Campbell.

I'm an actor. - Oh.

- Doing research for a movie. - Santa movie?

- How did you know that?

- It's an educated guess.

- [Dan] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- [Megan] Cookie time!

- [Isaac] I don't know, I never...

(determined music)

- It takes many things to be a great Santa.

Knowledge, theatricality, emotional intelligence.

But it also takes strength.

In parades, Santas wave for hours.

Ah, my shoulder.

They're carrying large sacks of gifts.

Oh, my back.

And in the mall, they're lifting children

of all shapes and sizes.

A weak Santa is no Santa at all,

which is why we have the obstacle course.

You will walk across the rooftop.

You will tiptoe through the living room.

You will duck under the Christmas tree lights.

You will fill your Santa sack full of presents.

You will then maneuver around these giant ornaments.

And finally the chimney climb.

The first person to ring

that bell atop the chimney is the winner.

Are you ready?

- Woo! - Yeah!

- Yeah! - [Isaac] Yeah!

- I can't hear you. Are you ready?

- [Santas] Yeah.

- Hey, all right.

Ready, set, go.

(bright festive music) (Santas chattering)

- [Bruce] Coming through!

(bright festive music continues)

- [Isaac] Oh! Whoa!

Oh, whoa, whoa!

- Santa down.

(bright festive music continues)

Take my hand!

(Bruce groaning)

- Strength. Inner strength?

- The filaments.

(bright festive music continues)

(Timothy groaning)

(bright festive music continues)

It's around my neck.

- (laughs) suckers!

(bright festive music continues)

- [Dan] Watch your step!

(body thuds)

(bell ringing)

- Hah!

Hah!

Who's Mrs. Claus now, Isaac?

(bell clanging)

- Is this what it's always like on the first pass?

- Kind of. - Yeah. So they get better?

- Kind of.

- I am so happy I came here.

This has been invigorating.

- Any memories coming back?

- Oh, sadly, no.

But physical health begets mental health.

Progress is but around the corner.

(curious music)

- He's so jolly. - Yeah.

(gentle music)

- Can I offer you some marshmallows?

- Nobody eats marshmallows for breakfast. No.

- What are you talking about?

The fine makers of Lucky Charms cereal

would disagree with you.

- Okay, so the syllabus is pretty straightforward,

right? - Okay.

- In the morning,

we're gonna teach presentation and skill.

Bailey will teach history,

and in the afternoon,

we'll go through, you know, performance,

the obstacle course.

- Right.

What we do at Saint Nicholas is, first thing in the morning,

we head to the video room,

check out the footage of the greatest Santas of all time,

and then we go to the costumers,

do a quick fitting, IV drip, massages.

- Wow. - Yeah.

- It's probably pretty good for your health.

- It's so good.

- You know what we don't have here?

- What? - Any of that.

We don't have costumers or fittings or electric saunas.

- We don't have electric saunas.

- No? - No. They're wood burning.

- Okay, so the only resources we have are you and me.

(Kate laughs)

As depressing as that is, so...

- Well, a business is only as good

as the two people running this show.

And we've got the two best in the game.

- I'm not so sure.

- I am.

(gentle music)

(cups clinking)

- [Kate] There you go.

- It has a mind of its own.

- Mm.

(gentle music continues)

- [Dan] I mean, it's...

- Right.

Megan, where's your beard?

You gotta put it on.

- Oh, fine.

Put it on.

(gentle music continues)

- Should probably put a pillow under there.

- I did.

- Oh, bigger one, maybe

- Biggest one I could find.

(Bruce groaning)

- I've been telling him all morning,

I need my own costume.

- We're gonna look into that for you.

- Yeah.

(gentle music continues)

- All right, look, I take my acting very seriously.

You want me to grow a beard?

Put on 150 pounds for the role?

I'll do it. I'll do it.

- You don't have to do- - But first I'd like

to pitch you something,

handsome Santa.

He's svelte, he's suave, he's approachable.

Right, sure, you can imagine him as Santa,

but also, say, as a pet psychiatrist with anxiety issues,

or the assistant to the president of the 12 colonies.

He's not gonna wear some bulky, unflattering jacket,

no offense. - Yeah, totally.

- He's gonna wear an outfit like this.

Something that showcases his sleek-but-well-toned physique

that he worked so hard on.

He's not eating salads

for breakfast seven days a week for nothing,

you know what I mean?

- No, I don't actually. Yeah.

- Where does Santa live?

- North Pole.

- And what's the weather like there?

- Very cold.

- So how do you think he stays warm?

- Bulky unflattering ja...

Shoot. Okay.

Yep. Good note. Good note.

Okay.

- [Bailey] Who can tell me where Santa originated from?

- [Timothy] Ooh.

- Yes.

- Turkey.

- Very good.

Now what else did Santa borrow from St. Nicholas?

- Oh yeah.

- I love the enthusiasm,

but maybe we should get somebody else to...

- Teacher's pet!

(bright music)

- It's not enough to just look like Santa.

You have to sound like Santa, be like Santa.

So what we're gonna do is work on some vocalization.

Three simple words.

Ho, ho, ho.

Thought you'd all say it at the same time.

Okay, we're gonna go individually.

- Ho, ho.

- Ho.

- Little too booming.

- Hey.

Ha.

- So it's ho, ho, ho.

- All right.

("Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy")

- He, ha, he, ha.

What's my motivation here?

- Ho, ho, ho.

- Ho, ho, ho.

- Ho, ho, ho.

- Is he always thinking of something funny,

or is he drawing from, like, a deep inner sadness?

- Ho, ho, ho.

(Paul laughs)

- Ho, ho, ho.

Ho.

No, it's only three.

- Sorry. This never happens to me.

What's the dealio with this guy?

- He's just jolly.

- Ho, ho, ho.

- I got nothing.

(Santas groaning) (ropes creaking)

- [Dan] There's no reason to panic.

- Oh, there's reason to panic.

I've got seven reasons to panic

and I'm looking at them, okay?

And Nick is nowhere near remembering that he's Santa.

That should be of a concern to you, Mr. Christmas.

- Okay, just relax, all right?

We've had one full day of training.

I mean, they're gonna come around,

he's gonna come around.

- Do you know the Christmas Cup was my dad's idea?

- Hmm?

- Yeah. He's thought a little friendly rivalry

would do everyone good.

He used to say a rising tide lifts all the boats.

- Wrong way! Wrong way!

- I'm not so sure.

I have no idea why he left this to me.

- But North Star is more than just your dad.

I mean, people didn't come to Saint Nicholas to see Blaise.

They come there for me, kind of,

but they really come there for the school

and for a really great experience.

We're going to the mall this week, right?

Why don't we just do a little secret Santa

and just let them shop for one another.

- I hate to give you credit for something

that's not a terrible idea.

We could...

Okay. - Hm? Hm?

Okay.

(metal clanging) (Isaac grunting)

(Nick laughing)

- Hey, thanks amigo.

Ah!

So, Nick?

(bright mysterious music)

You're tripping me out, man.

You okay, buddy?

(Nick pants)

- Do we know each other?

From before, I mean?

- I'm pretty sure we just met yesterday.

I mean, if I knew someone

who could guzzle milk like you do, I think I'd remember.

(bright music)

* Help me hang up the mistletoe *

- No! No! No!

* Wrap me up in

- Yeah, yeah, he needs all the help he can get.

- Okay. So we'll start with this-

- Is this gonna be big enough- - And I think we're good.

- For me? - Throw pillow in there.

- [Timothy] Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Why you so skinny, Santa?

- Fine! - Don't laugh in front of him.

* To help me hang up the mistletoe *

* So I can steal a kiss

- On the count of three,

we will be conducting a relay race.

Which team, Team One on my left, Team Two on my right,

will list the most Christmas movies?

Three, two, one, go!

- Come on.

- I starred in like 35 of these.

Come on!

- Three, two,

generous two.

- Done! Team One wins!

(Santas cheering)

- Just one name.

Keep it a secret.

Okay, so who'd you get for secret Santa?

- I'm not gonna tell you that.

- Oh, so you got me?

- No, I didn't.

And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you that.

- Okay, well, just so you know, I don't like toffee.

- Oh. - I look great

in the color red. - Mm-hm.

- And I already own every Christmas CD ever made.

- Oh. - Yeah.

And your lights are out.

- What?

Oh, well, a light out. - Yeah.

You should fix that. - No.

Well, who cares? It's late.

I don't have time. We'll just...

- No, come on. I'll give you a boost.

- I got it. I got it. - Okay.

Whoa, careful. Look- - Hold on.

- Just get on my shoulders.

Get up on my shoulders. - Easy, easy!

- [Dan] No, I got you. - I got it!

- [Dan] Ready?

- [Nick] Hello?

- Hey. - Nick.

(curious music)

- Just getting a snack before bed.

Oh, great.

Goodnight.

- [Dan] Okay.

- Okay? - Oh, okay. Just...

Ow!

Careful. There you go.

Oh, yeah.

That was fun.

(curious music)

- We should...

- Yeah, we should go.

Tomorrow is...

- [Dan And Kate] Mall Day!

- Rise and shine! - Get up! Get up!

- You candy canes!

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

- Here, help me.

- [Dan] Jimmy, you too!

(bright mysterious music)

- Oh, Nick, you all right?

- Hey, Nick. - Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa. - Nick? Nick?

- You all right?

- He stood up too fast.

(Nick groans)

- Nick, you okay?

- You okay, buddy?

- Here, have a seat. - It's okay.

- [Dan] Get him some water?

(gentle music)

- I'm seeing things I cannot explain.

- Are they like memories?

- Well, other people's memories.

(gentle music continues)

- If this is hurting you in any way.

- No, no, no. It's the opposite.

It's making me feel more whole.

Some part of me needs these delusions.

(gentle music continues)

(Nick chuckles)

You don't understand.

How can you?

(gentle music continues)

I don't even understand.

- A lot happens in this world that nobody understands,

and I think anyone who pretends that they have the answers,

they're the delusional ones.

(gentle music continues)

- See, I don't think they're delusions at all.

I think it's a gift.

You should use it.

(gentle music continues)

- Welcome everyone.

I've invited you here to give you a trial run

of what it's truly like to be a mall Santa.

And just how difficult this job can be.

- Woo!

- While we gather the families, why don't y'all settle in,

do a little shopping, do a little more shopping,

and we will start soon, okay?

All right.

- [Kate] Okay.

- All right.

- Secret Santa. - Secret Santa.

Let's do it. - Don't look where I go.

- Yeah, nobody follow me. - No peeking!

(people laughing) (bright music)

(mall patrons chattering)

- That's interesting.

- Bailey and Timothy.

So that's the thing about Christmas, it inspires romance.

Gifts, dessert.

- Old men breaking and entering into homes

- For someone that owns a Santa school,

you're not very... - Christmassy?

- Christmassy. Yeah.

- To be fair, you know,

I never wanted to run a Santa school.

It was more of my dad's thing.

- What was your thing?

- I don't know.

Guess I'm still trying to figure that out.

(mall patrons chattering)

I've always wanted to go to Paris.

If that's a thing.

- You know, that you can take the school

and do whatever you want with it,

you know, make it your thing.

- I don't know.

I think my dad was more of the highlight.

- Mm, I'm not so sure about that.

(gentle music) (kids chattering)

(determined music)

- Okay.

Remember, you've gotta sell the Santa story.

Okay?

Chin up,

bellies out, a little more.

You got this!

(determined music continues)

- Hey.

Oh, Timmy, relax.

They're just kids.

- Just kids?

I don't think I'm cut out for this.

I think I'm just gonna sit this one out.

- Hey, hey, hey. I'll go first.

I'm not scared.

They're just small adults.

Okay, let's do this.

- First up are our twins. - Twins?

- And they've been eating candy all day.

Good luck with that.

(dramatic music) (kids screaming)

- No, the character.

No.

(Isaac gasping)

My beard, it was in my mouth.

I don't know how it got there, but it stayed there

and it tasted like shopping mall floors

and broken dreams and peppermint.

I didn't mind the peppermint.

I liked the peppermint,

but the rest of it was horror.

The horror.

(Isaac gasping) (heartbeat thudding)

- Okay, who's next?

* The weatherman said that the temperature is dropping *

* With all this ice

* I might be a problem

(kids screaming)

* How a couple hotties cause such a cold front *

* Don't settle for a bunt

* Watch us hit that home run

* We so cold

* Call it snow swag

* Such a big low

* We got more swag

* Hit the North Pole

- Where is Timothy?

Hey, how'd it go?

- There's a bag up there, Santa's bag.

Kid crawled in, saw it was empty, and screamed,

"Santa's got no toys." - [Child] Santa's got no toys!

- It was nearly a full-blown riot.

Should have seen the look in this kid's eyes.

It was like "Braveheart."

(Bailey laughing)

(Timothy chuckles)

I'm miles outside my comfort zone.

- You and me both.

I'm not supposed to be teaching right now.

I'm supposed to be working in a university.

- Well, you're a pretty good teacher in my book.

- [Child] Where is he? Where is he?

- This is Leo.

Heads up, he does not think you're the real Santa.

(gentle music)

- Hello, Leo.

There you go.

Well, let's see.

Hmm. Let me guess, Leo.

You want a new bike?

A bright blue Spider-Man bike.

Now, you be good for your mom and you'll get that bike.

Sound like a deal?

(gentle music continues)

- Thank you, Santa.

- Merry Christmas, Leo.

(Nick chuckles)

- And this is Emily.

Poor Emily lost her favorite stuffy

somewhere here this morning.

(gentle music continues) (Emily sniffling)

- Oh, come here, sweetie.

Oh, let's see.

(gentle music continues)

Dasher, is that right?

Hmm?

I had a friend named Dasher too.

Would you like me to help you find yours?

Yeah?

Well, I'll tell you what, Emily,

why don't you check in Santa's bag here

and see what you find.

(gentle music continues)

(awe-inspiring music)

Is that him?

- Thank you, Santa!

- Oh, merry Christmas, Emily.

- [Isaac] Here he comes. - [Dan] Here he comes!

(Santas cheering)

- Dude, how did you do that? That bag was empty.

- How did you know what all those kids wanted for Christmas?

- Nick, you are a wizard.

Well done, well done.

- I don't know.

Call it a gift.

(curious music)

- Hey?

I feel like you should be more happy.

What?

- I just saw what Ned wants for Christmas.

He wants to buy North Star.

(curious music continues)

- Hey, Ned, you really wanna buy North Star?

- Wow. Who blabbed?

- Well...

- Look, I love your dad

and I know he always wanted you to take the reins,

but I never felt like that's what you wanted.

We wanna build another mall.

Your land stretches right to the highway,

perfect mall real estate.

Sell to us.

The Saint Nicholas School is bleeding you dry.

Something has to change.

- Okay? Give me this session.

Okay?

And I'll get back to you.

- Take as much time as you need.

Just know that I'm interested.

All right?

- Thank you.

- Think about it. - I will.

(curious festive music)

What is there to think about?

If the price is right, I have to take the deal.

I can't let nostalgia determine the rest

of my life.

(Bailey scoffs)

- It's the North Star.

It's not the Supreme Court.

You can always find a new job.

- Well, that's easy for you to say, you know?

I'm older than you.

- Okay, you are a few years older than me.

We're not that different.

- Says the person

who spent the last few months playing video games

on my couch.

- Okay, what would he have to say about your offer, hm?

- Well, he doesn't need to know about it yet,

because he's in Florida.

- He's gonna be very sad

to miss Christmas trivia tomorrow.

- Well, it's 75 degrees there.

I think he's gonna be just fine.

(upbeat rock music)

(balls clacking)

Okay, I see.

- All right, this round is on me.

There you go.

- [Santas] Yay.

- Actually, I just realized I still have

the company card for Saint Nicholas,

so this round is on the enemy.

(Santas cheering)

(upbeat rock music continues)

- [Patrick] You like her?

- Oh, gimme a break.

- Oh, romance at a Santa school.

How cinematic.

- You know, you don't need to wear the fake beard.

- What fake beard?

- Yeah. I remember my first sleep away camp romance.

Leisha Goodfarb.

- Don't be a wuss. Ask her out.

- For your information,

we've actually gone on a date before.

- [Megan] Mm.

- But that was years ago.

A lot's changed since then.

- If you don't ask, you'll always wonder

what you could have had .

- Truer words. - [Patrick] Shut up.

- Wise puppet. - Look, I didn't buy

you guys drinks to get relationship advice, all right?

Especially from a talking piece of felt.

- Oh, now! - Oh, hey now!

Hey! Hey! - [Isaac] Easy, easy.

(upbeat rock music continues)

- [Dan] Hey.

- Hi.

- Christmas cocktail.

Should we get a couple of those?

They look good.

- Wow, somebody's chipper tonight.

- What do you mean? That's me. Johnny Chipper.

- Uh-huh. - Right, love Christmas

and sugary cocktails, trivia nights.

- You love trivia?

- Yeah, I love trivia.

I'm like 90% trivia, 20% knowledge.

- That's 110%.

- Wow. Are you a mathematician?

How do you just put those numbers together

so quickly? - It's fast.

- Dan, Kate, small world.

- Blaise.

- Our local pub's closed,

and I heard this place had trivia tonight.

I don't know, I thought that sounded pretty fun.

- Hm.

- Well, it's great to see you, Dan.

I'm glad you landed on your feet.

- Oh, I landed on my feet.

- Oh, good.

- And we're about to knock you off yours.

- Oh yeah. - Okay.

Well, may the best team win, huh?

See ya. - We will.

- [Blaise] Okay, bye. - Wait.

- We really need to win. - Yeah, we need to win it.

- If anybody wants to rumble, I'm in.

I haven't been in a bar fight in weeks.

- Okay, I do wanna win. I do.

But how are we gonna do this?

- Timothy's got this.

This guy is a Santa expert.

He knows all the myths, all the legends.

- Oh no.

- What?

(tense music)

- [Timothy] That's Brendan "The Brain" Crane.

- [Paul] Who's that?

- Who's Brendan Brain Crane?

- A legend in Christmas history circles.

He's a living, breathing encyclopedia

of everything Christmas.

Legend has it, he's committed the entirety

of "The Christmas Carol" to memory.

- All of it?

- What's he doing at Saint Nicholas?

- Maybe he wants

to more fully understand the Santa experience?

- Or maybe they recruited him,

brought him in as a ringer.

- Maybe he's doing research for a movie.

We need to talk.

- If you are playing Christmas trivia,

come get your team sheet now!

(tense music)

- Blaise.

- Dan.

- [Kate] Okay.

- Look alive. Look alive.

- Who's George Bailey's guardian angel

in "It's A Wonderful Life"?

(contestants chattering)

- Clarence Odbody. - Boom!

- Clarence Odbody.

- Yes!

- [Contestant 1] Who was it? - [Timothy] Clarence Odbody.

- Who wrote the ballet The Nutcracker?

- Pyotr Ilyich...

- Tchaikovsky.

- Tchaikovsky.

- [Megan] Whoa! - What?

(Blaise babbling)

- Good work!

- [Timothy] P-Y-O-T-R I-L-Y-I.

- I should be doing the writing.

- What were the names of the Three Wise Men?

- I know this!

Balthasar, Caspar...

- And...

- Me. I'm the third wise man!

- Wow!

- [Isaac] Are you taking this seriously?

- Paul Campbell.

- Melchior. - Paul Campbell.

- [Contestant 1] Balthasar. - [Kate] The Wise Men!

- Go, go, go, go, go!

- [Megan] Look alive! Look alive!

(people cheering)

- Been waiting.

(people chattering)

- Hope you trip next time.

- Both Saint Nicholas and North Star have perfect scores!

(teammates cheering)

The first team with the correct answer wins.

- Go! - Okay.

- In "The Twelve Days of Christmas,"

how many total gifts does the singer's true love give

to the singer?

- 11! No, no, no! - No, no, no, it's not seven.

It's not seven. - It's twice, no.

- No, no, no, no, no. - Sh!

- Let me speak!

It stacks every time. - Sh!

- The first day, it's one gift.

The second day, it's two turtle doves and the partridge.

Three gifts and so on.

- Okay, so can you do it? Can you do it?

- Okay.

- Well, math's not my strong suit.

- Kate can do it. Kate's a mathematician.

- [Kate] Oh, get out of here.

- 364.

- I need more time if I'm supposed to do this!

(people chattering)

I got 10 seconds, and I don't have enough time to do it.

- Throw me a number, Timothy!

(dramatic music)

- We have a correct answer.

Saint Nicholas wins.

(Saint Nicholas cheering)

- Ah, this guy! This guy!

- [Kate] It's fine, Timothy, it's fine.

- [Dan] You tried your best.

Okay. - [Patrick] It's not good.

- Aw, come on, Kate.

This is supposed to be a friendly rivalry

- And you're here to gloat now?

- Come on.

Remember what your dad always said?

A rising tide lifts all boats.

- Well, a rising tide can also sink all boats, so...

- You know, you're lucky.

My folks weren't big on Christmas.

I never got the gift I wanted,

but your dad showed me the joy a picture-perfect Santa

could bring a child.

Then, I'm sorry to say,

but North Star just doesn't have what it takes

to make picture-perfect Santas like mine.

- [Dan] Okay. - Wow.

- Excuse me? - [Dan] I think

just head back over to your table, would you?

- All right, well, I'll see you at the cup, okay?

(somber music)

- [Patrick] That's cold.

- What is that? Why are you smiling?

- Yeah. What did I miss?

(gentle music)

- Why does this Santa have to be picture perfect anyway?

- Is this still the quiz?

- I mean, Christmas isn't

about the uniformity of celebration,

you know, everyone celebrating the exact same way.

No. It's about each family being unique.

Every person is unique.

I mean, that's what it's about.

They can keep their picture-perfect Santas,

because we,

we, we've got hippie Santa.

- [Santas] Yeah!

- We do. Huh?

And we got a skinny Santa,

and we've got a woman Santa.

We've got puppet Santa, figure Santa.

- Handsome Santa!

- Cool Papa Santa.

- Cool Papa Santa!

Santa Santas.

And we've got 'em all.

We're all we need.

All you need to do is bring you.

(uplifting music)

Let's not try to play their game.

Why can't we do it our way, bring ourselves to this?

It'll mean more to more people,

and we'll make so many more people happy.

- Now that sounds like Christmas spirit right there.

- [Santas] Yeah!

(uplifting music continues)

- Who's in?

- [Bailey] Me!

- [Santas] Yeah!

- Bring it in! - That's Christmas spirit

right there.

- On three... - [Kate] Three, two, one!

- [Team] Santa!

- What if the judges aren't into less traditional Santas?

- This is the best chance we have to make an impression.

And with Nick,

using his powers gives him the best chance

to remember who he is.

So win-win.

- Right.

And what if he remembers who he is

and heads back to the North Pole before the cup?

- Well, if saving Christmas means losing the cup,

I guess I can live with that.

- Hm. - Hm.

- Mm-hm.

- I guess you've never seen anything like this

at Saint Nicholas before, have you?

- No.

No, I have not. - Hm.

* Snow is falling down

- Think people are gonna vibe with this?

- Well, your whole life

you've been rejecting the establishment, haven't you?

Why stop now?

- Yeah. Groovy.

- This is gonna be stupid.

- Oh, well, your grandkids think this is stupid

or they think, hey, my granddad is cool?

* I got children running 'round my feet *

- The world is a hard place for a lotta people, Bruce.

If Jimmy makes it easier, that's okay.

- Plus I think a lot of the kids coming

to see Santa will love him.

- Can you make me a costume?

- Can do.

* A choir will be singing

* And it's all gotta happen on a one *

- She likes you.

- You think?

* Santa, help me sleigh

- Sweet, tiny little Tim,

I was called the King of Christmas Romance

by "Us Weekly" in 2022.

Let me tell you something.

She likes you.

- [Tim] Cool.

- [Nick] Paul?

- Hm? I'm wearing it.

- Take off the beard.

- What happened to traditional Santa?

- [Kate] Paul? - [Dan] Paul Campbell?

- We think it's time for a svelte, suave Santa.

- But approachable.

- Right.

(curious music)

- I'll be in my trailer.

(cookie crunching)

- He's only eaten milk and cookies for a week.

- I would love to have his metabolism.

- He knew exactly what all those kids wanted for Christmas

like he could look into their souls.

- Yeah.

- And he pulled a stuffed animal out of an empty bag.

I'd swear it on my life.

Who do we know that can read thoughts,

pull things out of a magic bag,

and sustain on nothing but milk and cookies?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, are you saying that you believe

that Nick is the actual Santa Claus?

- I don't know what I believe,

but if you wanted to embody everything

that we know about Santa,

you couldn't do a better job than the one he's doing.

- Nah. Maybe he's a magician

or maybe we're on one of those awful prank shows,

but that man is not Santa Claus.

- Okay, I think it's time now.

(gentle music)

- Sorry, you ordered custom Christmas wrapping paper

after paying for everyone's costume alterations?

- Well, I mean, this place could collapse at any moment.

I wanted to do something that matters with it.

- Now we're not used to it,

but I'm just saying, ours is gonna be a little more open.

- Oh, you got it bad, don't you?

- What? - For Dan?

- Oh, please. - You like him.

- Come on. Relax. - I mean, he's pretty cute.

- Well, there were plenty of cute guys in the world

that didn't work for the enemy just last week.

- Romeo was the enemy of Juliet and she still liked him.

- Well, let's hope this story doesn't end like that one.

- Bad example.

Still very romantic.

(jazzy festive music)

(fire crackling)

- Ah, that was me.

I figured if you lose your memory again,

you can have mementos of us to remember us by

like that movie about the guy who lost his memory.

- You mean "Memento"?

- Nah, I think it was called something else.

I just can't remember.

- Bailey.

(Bailey squeals)

(jazzy festive music continues)

- [Bailey] "Scandinavian History 800 through 1319."

- I was worried you had it already.

- No, I've actually always been very interested

in the High Middle Ages, so it's perfect.

Thank you.

- You're welcome.

(jazzy festive music continues)

- And Dan, I think you're up.

- Okay.

(Dan laughs)

Who did this?

(jazzy festive music continues)

I knew it.

I knew it was you.

Wait? You think I'm the world's best Santa trainer?

- No, but who am I to argue with "The Santa Sentinel?"

(jazzy festive music continues)

(Santas laughing)

- Come on, look at this.

Listen, thank you.

You know, my parents moved overseas a long time ago

and it's just, I haven't had a Christmas like this

in a long time, so thank you.

(jazzy festive music continues)

Thank you.

- Yeah.

(jazzy festive music continues)

- And nobody better call this an ugly sweater

because this is objectively

the most attractive sweater I have ever seen.

(Santas laughing)

- Megan, I think that's you.

(gentle music)

- Oh, it's a Molly McGuire doll.

(gentle music continues)

I always wanted a Molly McGuire doll.

- You wanted a doll?

- I contain multitudes.

(gentle music continues)

- Yeah, I agree.

- Sorry.

My parents got me the wrong one

and I didn't have the heart to tell them.

- Merry Christmas, Megan.

(gentle music continues)

- It's you.

(gentle music continues)

Your secret's safe with me.

(gentle music continues)

- Kate, you out here?

- I can't see you.

Oh.

There you are.

- [Dan] There I am.

- There he is.

Wow. You are right.

The color red does look good on you.

- Thank you.

Yeah, it's a nice sweater.

It's fun, it's festive,

and you can see it from the space station,

which is kinda cool.

- Uh-huh. - Yeah.

- You were right.

- About?

- The secret Santa.

I think it brought everybody together, and thank you.

- That is what I'm here for, right?

So... - Mm-hm.

- Oh, so there's this, it's interesting.

There's, like, this Christmas market in town

and I've never been there and I've always wanted to go.

And I was thinking, I don't know,

maybe you and I can go together, like check it out

and, like, hit the town after.

- Mm-hm? - Mm-hm.

What do you think?

- I mean, just to be clear, you are asking me out on a date?

- No, no, no, no.

It's a scheduled social interaction designed

for networking and potential recreation.

What do you say?

Wanna go?

(hopeful music)

- Yeah.

- All right. - Okay.

- Okay. - All right.

(hopeful music continues)

- You really seem like Little Miss Popular.

- Hi.

Not popular, just familiar.

Everyone comes here every year.

That's Kyle, he's a lawyer from one town over.

He knits sweaters all year round, sells them here.

- Cool.

(upbeat music continues)

- Back there, she makes stockings.

Except I think she's been mad at me since high school.

She thinks I stole her boyfriend.

- Did you?

Did you? - No!

- Oh!

Ow. No.

(upbeat music continues)

Yeah.

Kate, you literally know everybody here.

- I know. - No, that's a good thing.

Let's go get hot chocolate.

- It's just, you know, it's always the same people,

same gossip, same Christmas parties.

- Yeah. So? - Same Christmas sweaters.

- Yeah, all those things,

those are called traditions.

Two hot chocolates, please. Thank you.

- Yeah, sometimes you can feel lost,

even though the places

and the people stay the same, you know?

It feels like I'm on a merry-go-round

and I can't get off.

- You know, who would love to be stuck on a merry-go-round?

- Don't say you. - Me. Me.

No. I would love to be stuck

on a merry-go-round. Yep. - Okay.

You never feel stuck?

- Not really.

I mean, I was never really

in one place long enough to feel stuck.

Traveled around, came here to visit a friend.

Then Blaise offers me this incredible job, benefits.

- Yeah. - Pays well, company car.

I mean, what more could a guy ask for?

- Soul?

- Ha ha.

You know, you're right.

I should have talked to you and your dad more.

Been kinder.

- No.

(upbeat music continues)

- Sorry.

- I could have

been friendlier.

- You could have.

(Kate laughs)

- Okay.

(upbeat music continues)

- What's that? - Hmm?

- Over there. What is that?

(upbeat music continues)

- Christmas party?

- Let's crash it.

- What? - Yeah, let's go crash it.

- No. - [Dan] Yeah.

Leave your drink here. - No, Dan. Dan. Dan.

- [Dan] Follow me. Follow me.

Follow me. Come, come, come, come.

- No! No! - [Dan] Let's go.

(upbeat music)

* I can't wait for Christmas

* And the lights on the Christmas tree *

* And Rudolph knows

* With his big red nose

* Is keeping Santa company

- Thank you very much.

Oh, look at this. Perfect timing.

Thank you so much.

So good to see you.

Do you recognize anyone here? - No shot.

- Ooh. Outta towners.

All right, there he is.

Midvale Communications is the party we're at.

We're just blending in with our fellow employees here.

- Fellow employees! - Just saddle up and,

you know, act natural.

Ooh, meatball?

Oh!

(upbeat music continues)

Come on.

We gotta mingle. Let's go.

- Don't! What are you doing?

- What do you mean?

I'm just fitting in.

- No, you're not. - Yeah, I am.

- No, you're not. - We're out-of-towners.

- We're not out-of-towners.

Gotta stop that.

- Stop what? - [Kate] That!

- What are you talking about?

Come on.

You're the one who wanted

to get off the merry-go-round, all right?

So let's just consider this a little pit stop.

Photo wall. Let's go do the photo wall.

- No! Dan! Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan! - [Dan] Come on. Photo wall.

Photo wall. - [Kate] Dan, please.

* Santa come for me

- That was really good.

You guys are hilarious.

So let's just get some photos.

Gimme this here.

Hey, how you doing tonight?

- [Photographer] Great.

(upbeat music continues)

- Put this on. - What?

- And just act like you belong.

- I don't belong. - Well, if you believe

you belong then you belong.

- I believe I'm a millionaire,

and that hasn't exactly happened yet, has it?

Oh!

- Uh-oh.

- [Kate] What?

- Nothing.

Honey, let's dance - No!

(film whirs)

- Oh, nice.

(gentle romantic music)

Just get in there.

Whew. That was close.

(gentle romantic music continues)

- What do you...

Well, don't you think we should come up

with some kind of a backstory

or alter ego or something like that,

in case they wanna come and talk to us?

- That's a good idea.

We're married.

- What? - Yeah.

- Don't you think that's a little fast for our alter egos?

- Well, my alter ego knows what he wants

and he didn't want your alter ego to get away.

- That's nice of your alter ego.

- Yeah.

- Whoa.

- I also think we should dance a little closer

since our alter egos are married and...

- Oh.

- I mean, that is,

if you're okay with us being this close.

(gentle romantic music continues)

- I mean, we should sell it.

(gentle romantic music continues)

I actually didn't think you were

the dancer that you are.

- Oh.

Well I didn't really know that you

were a dancing queen.

- Okay.

(gentle romantic music continues)

* Don't need no sleigh bells or no reindeer *

* To find some Christmas in the year *

- What? What?

Gentlemen.

Merry Christmas.

It's us, Nathaniel and...

- Kath. - Kath.

- [Kate] We're communicators. - [Dan] Communicators.

We've been here for 25 years. - [Kate] For Midvale.

- Jeffrey, I was at- - Wow!

- Your son's 10th birthday party.

- This is how you treat us after 20 years?

- Come on, he's got us. - I can't even believe.

- Whoa! - Okay.

- We're about to sue. Did you see that?

You got stuff all over the ground.

- Presents.

- Here's the deal.

We're quitting right now. - That's right!

- You just lost your two best communicators.

- We quit!

- Bye!

- [Kate] Merry Christmas.

- How about bah-humbug!

(bright music)

Thank you for the ride.

- You're welcome. Yeah.

(hopeful music)

- I really enjoyed that scheduled social interaction.

(Kate laughs)

- As did I.

(hopeful music continues)

- We should go on that real date sometime.

- I would like that.

(hopeful music continues)

(hopeful music continues)

(gentle romantic music continues)

- Good night.

- Good night.

(hopeful music continues)

* You know it's driving me crazy *

* Just being away from you

* It's getting colder and, baby *

* I don't want no winter blues

- Good morning.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Beautiful day.

- Beautiful.

- Beautiful.

* I'll be there for Christmas

(upbeat music)

- [Kate] Two professionals. - [Dan] Yes.

- Being professional. - Just at work,

doing work things. - This is what we do.

Yeah, okay.

Three days until the cup. - Yep.

- All right, we gotta help Nick remember

that he's the real Santa.

- Wait, what? - Whoa!

- What are you doing here?

- Ordering donuts using the company card.

What do you mean the real Santa?

- Let's just tell her.

- No! - Nick is Santa.

We saw the sleigh take off, reindeer and everything.

- That's not possible.

- Well... - What do you mean we?

(Kate sighs)

- I did too. Yes, it's true.

- How could you not tell me?

- Well, what was I supposed to say?

Hey, good morning.

You know? And Nick's the real Santa.

- Wait. - Ho.

- What now?

- No. - Where did you

just come from?

- Bailey said she was ordering donuts.

Nick's the real Santa? - [Kate] Oh no.

- They saw the sleigh fly away and everything.

- I knew it!

The milk, the cookies, the toy in the bag,

the way he seems to read everyone's mind.

- Of course he can read everyone's mind.

He knows when you're sleeping,

he knows when you're awake.

- Chill out!

- This is the biggest discovery

in the history of civilization.

How have you not spent every second

of every day freaking out about this?

- [Dan And Kate] We are freaking out about it!

- So what do we do?

- Nothing. We're gonna keep this between ourselves.

All right, we're gonna gently help him remember

that he's Santa. - Okay, well,

we better start gently helping him remember

a little bit quicker,

because Christmas is just around the corner.

We don't have a lot of time.

- I realize that. - This is so exciting.

- Zip it.

Keep it to yourself.

Got it?

- Nick's the real Santa!

(Kate groans)

I'm sorry.

(curious music)

(Dan sighs) (Bailey laughing)

(somber music)

(paper rustling)

(somber music continues)

- Everything all right?

- [Kate] I don't know.

- What's up?

- Nick still doesn't remember who he is.

Tomorrow's the last day.

We've gotta do something to jog his memory.

- Well, if he remembers before the cup,

he might still leave.

- Yeah, well, if he doesn't,

then a lotta kids are gonna be disappointed.

- You think Santa doesn't have a contingency plan?

- You wanna take that chance?

- I don't know what you're expecting to do.

He's the one with the magic, not you.

(curious music)

- Magic.

Bailey.

- Yeah?

- You're a genius.

(gentle music)

(footsteps clacking)

Hey.

(gentle music continues)

You okay?

- Have you ever felt like you're meant

to do something more with your life?

(Kate chuckles)

- Only for the past 20 years or so, yeah.

- I've so enjoyed my time here.

- Hmm.

- But I can't help

but feel I'm meant to be somewhere else.

(gentle music)

- I have an idea.

I want you to think of something, something that you want,

and reach into the bag.

(curious tense music)

(bag rustling)

(curious tense music continues)

What?

(Nick laughing)

- [Nick] How did you get that in there?

- A cookie!

- Oh my goodness.

- I feel like celebrating, Nick.

Pull me out a bottle of champagne.

(uplifting music)

(Kate laughs)

- How are you doing this?

- I'll take that.

Oh, I'm not, Nick. You are.

You know what they want

and you have the power to give it to them.

But now I want you to think about what you want.

(uplifting music continues)

Okay?

- Okay.

(gentle music)

(gentle music continues)

(air whooshing)

(gentle music continues)

- [Dan] Kate?

Purchase offer.

Hmm.

- Great news.

Nick is on the verge of-

- When did you know?

- I mean, Ned talked to me about it,

I dunno, last week maybe.

- Oh.

Why didn't you tell me?

- Well, I mean,

rich people talk about buying things all the time.

I mean, it's not real until

there's an offer, right?

- Yeah. Right. No, I just...

You're not actually thinking of selling to them, are you?

- With that amount of money on the table,

I have to consider it, right?

- Yeah.

(soft tense music)

Okay.

That's that then.

- Wait, what?

That's that? What?

(soft tense music continues)

Dan, this session has been fun,

but, I mean,

I can't make business decisions based off of fun.

- No, I know.

I guess I thought this was more than just fun.

You know, like our session,

I thought it was different.

(soft tense music continues)

- I- - Look. No, no, it's fine.

Like, I don't know.

I mean, okay, so what's gonna happen

if we win the cup?

- What happens if we don't?

I mean, our track record is zero, right?

That's still the same.

Everything really is still the same.

My debt is still the same,

our opponents are still the same.

I mean, nothing has changed.

I'm sorry. I am.

I, just...

(melancholy music)

Listen, if I have to sell the place,

I'll do whatever it takes

to get your job back with Blaise.

- I don't want to work with Blaise, Kate.

I want...

(melancholy music continues)

Sorry. I think I just misread everything.

- No! - I'm just gonna call an Uber.

It's fine,

- Dan. - [Dan] It's fine.

(melancholy music continues)

- [Bailey] I can't believe you'd actually consider selling.

- After this session, we lose Santa,

we could lose the school.

We could have nothing.

(melancholy music continues)

This is a good opportunity.

- You talk with such permanence.

We could lose tomorrow, still turn this thing around.

We could win tomorrow and still go under.

Over the past couple weeks,

I have seen you happier than I've seen you in a while.

I wouldn't wanna see you sacrifice something

just because you're scared.

(gentle music)

- I'll think about it.

- Let's go do this.

(gentle music continues)

- Hey. - Hey.

Listen- - Listen, I-

- No, sorry. You go first. - No, no, no. You go ahead.

I was just gonna say, about last night.

- Should we do this later?

Could we, should we?

- Yeah. - Okay.

* We gonna deck the halls every day *

* We gonna shine it like there ain't no other way *

* We'll jingle all the way

* Fa la la la la, la la la la

* We'll jingle all the way

* Fa la la la la, la la la la

* We gonna make 'em say

* Fa la la la la, la la la la

* We'll jingle all the way

* Fa la la la la, la la la la

* We'll jingle all the way

* We got the magic, let it snow *

* Yeah, yeah, yeah

* Just wrap it up and bring it home *

* We'll jingle all the way

(upbeat music continues)

- Blaise.

- Kate.

- Ned.

Welcome to another Christmas Cup.

As a reminder, you'll be scored in five categories:

presentation, performance, history, skills, and stamina.

Every Santa's scores will be tallied

and the team with the most points wins.

Give it your all and may the best Santas win!

(upbeat festive music)

* Merry Christmas

* Merry Christmas

* Merry Christmas to you

* To you

* Merry Christmas

- Is this Santa a woman?

- Last I checked.

- And you also know, presumably, that Santa is a man.

- So you don't know what Santa looks like.

This is my Santa.

This is what my Santa looks like.

So unless you want to get on my naughty list,

I suggest you smile and move along.

* Come and get jolly with me

* Everybody celebrate

* Everybody for the holiday

* Kids are here, feeling fine

- Does this Santa have a puppet?

- He's not a puppet.

He's a figure.

- Figure.

- What's your friend's name?

- Jimmy.

- This is Penelope.

* To you

* To you

* Merry Christmas

- What if he beats me again?

What if I'm not good enough?

I think I'm just gonna sit this...

* To you

* To you

- You are better than them every way that matters.

You got this.

* Merry Christmas

* Hey

* Have a merry

* Merry Christmas to you

- Good afternoon.

I'm television's Paul Campbell.

6'2 1/2", based out of Vancouver, British Columbia.

Today I will be performing a scene out

of William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet,"

Act V, Scene III.

- We want you to perform as Santa.

- Oh my love, my wife.

Death hath sucked the honey from thy lips.

- It was so easy.

Who did Scrooge apprentice for as a young man?

Mr. Fezziwig.

Who sang "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"?

Boris Karloff.

(bright music)

- It wasn't Boris Karloff.

It was Thurl Ravenscroft, buddy.

(Timothy laughs)

Come on babe. Eggnog's on me.

- That can't be right.

(bright festive music)

It can't be.

No!

No!

- Oh, true apothecary.

And thus,

with a kiss,

I die.

(fire crackling)

(metal clangs)

(judges clapping) (uplifting music)

- Wow. I can't believe this.

For the first time in Christmas Cup history,

Saint Nicholas and North Star are tied.

- Okay!

- We consulted the rule book

and the winner will be decided in sudden death.

Now, each team will select someone

to run the obstacle course.

First Santa to finish, their team wins.

(Blaise laughs)

- This guy!

- Nick.

(gentle music)

- Yeah. There we go.

Okay, let's go.

- I'll certainly do my best.

(gentle music continues)

- [Mrs. Claus] Kris!

- Is it just me or does that look a lot like...

- Kris! Oh, my good....

You're okay.

- Wait, wait. You know me?

(gentle music continues)

How did you find me?

- The whistle. It's a beacon.

Oh, it's so good to see you're okay.

(gentle music continues)

- Who are you?

- I'm your wife, Kris.

(heart-warming festive music)

(Santa laughing)

- Oh, hi sweetheart.

- Oh, hello, cookie.

(gentle music)

Now, we have to hurry back.

- Not just yet.

We have a competition to win.

- Yes we do!

(Santas cheering) (determined music)

- Ready?

On your marks...

(whistle tweets)

(tense festive music) (people cheering)

- [Isaac] Come on, Nick!

- Yeah! Let's go!

(tense festive music continues)

(people cheering)

(sleighs rustling)

- [Blaise] Yeah! There you go!

(tense festive music continues)

Yeah!

- No! No! - Come on! Come on!

(tense festive music continues)

(bell clangs) (Santa chuckling)

(whistle tweets)

- North Star wins!

(Santas cheering)

- How did he do that?

- Call the networks.

Tell 'em I'm ready to do "Love at the North Pole."

What do you mean they gave it to Andrew Walker?

- What I just...

Oh, it's just, it's not possible.

- Possible is so boring, Blaise.

Try living impossibly for a change.

- No, I demand an explanation.

Were there hidden wires or...

- [Santa] Blaise?

- Yeah?

- I have something for you.

- What do you mean?

(gentle music)

(Blaise gasps)

How did you know?

It's Teddy Talks A Lot.

- 'Twas the night before Christmas,

when all through the house.

- Merry, Blaise.

(gentle music continues)

- [Blaise] I love it.

- Hey, Kate.

So I assume you're not selling?

- Not yet. There's too much to do yet.

(uplifting music)

(Santas cheering)

(people laughing) (shutter clicking)

I can't think of a better Christmas present.

- It might not be better than a Christmas Cup,

but you did save Christmas.

Consider this a token of my appreciation.

- What?

(paper rustling)

- Go in the spring.

Paris is beautiful in the spring.

- Wow.

I don't know. I mean, sorry. Don't get me wrong.

I'm excited I actually have two tickets to Paris.

It's just, I mean, there's so much to do, you know?

And I don't know if I can do it without you.

- You already have.

We won because you believed in me, in us.

Now don't you think some of that belief

should be headed your way?

- Thank you.

(Santa chuckles)

- We have to go.

- [Kate] Okay.

- [Santa] We have a sleigh to catch.

(boots squeaking)

(people chattering)

(gentle music)

- Hi.

We did it.

- We did it.

- Yes, we did it all right.

- It's a pleasure working with you.

- It was a real pleasure.

(Kate laughs)

(gentle music continues)

I'm sorry about the other night.

- I'm sorry.

I just didn't think I could do it,

so thank you.

(uplifting music)

(uplifting music continues)

- You're welcome.

(upbeat rock music)

* Playing on the radio

- Are you kidding?

- Already signed up again for next year. Doing it again.

- [Megan] Really?

- [Isaac] You guys hear about Paul?

(upbeat rock music continues)

* In the winter evening

* Snow is falling down

- [Isaac] Okay.

* All the people

- Good to see you, Richard.

* Will my darling take my hand

- [Richard] Oh, it's been too long.

* In a winter wonderland

* Here's to Christmas

(glasses clinking)

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, Kate.

Oh, I got you something.

* Fire's burning

("We Wish You A Merry Christmas")

- What's that?

- I don't know.

(curious music)

(curious music continues)

(curious music continues)

- [Santa] You ever need any help with the Academy,

don't be afraid to call.

- [Isaac] It's Nick!

(uplifting music)