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1
00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:15,180
OKAY, THIS IS EXACTLY
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT...
2
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:17,349
$85 FOR A SWEATER.
3
00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:18,817
SWEATER? WHAT SWEATER?
4
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,612
OH, RIGHT, I BOUGHT
THAT FOR YOU.
5
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,124
FROM yougogal.com?
6
00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:32,364
JOHNNY, IT'S A STUPID SWEATER.
7
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,767
GET OVER IT. I
DON'T EVEN WEAR IT.
8
00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:40,372
I JUST MET THE MOST
CHARMING MAN ON THE TRAIN.
9
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:42,707
HE WAS STANDING
VERY CLOSE TO ME.
10
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:45,210
THE SMELL OF GIN
AND POLISH SAUSAGE
11
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,545
WAS INVIGORATING.
12
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,813
AND JUST ABOUT
THE TIME HE STARTED
13
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:51,050
"ACCIDENTALLY"
RUBBING UP AGAINST ME,
14
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:53,052
I KNEW I HAD TO HAVE HIM.
15
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:54,986
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SHOUT,
16
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:57,556
"SPEND THE REST OF
YOUR LIFE WITH ME,"
17
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,958
WHEN A POLICEMAN
GOT ON THE TRAIN
18
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,294
AND SCARED HIM
AWAY. DAMN THE LAW.
19
00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:04,563
WELL, ASHLEY, WE
HAVE SOME GREAT NEWS.
20
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:07,666
OH, YEAH. JUST WHEN YOU
THOUGHT IT COULDN'T HAPPEN,
21
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,368
JOHNNY GOT CHEAPER.
22
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:15,441
OKAY, THAT'S NOT QUITE IT.
23
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:18,177
WE CAN'T AFFORD THIS
PLACE ON MY SALARY.
24
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:20,123
WE'VE BEEN GIVEN A
GREAT OPPORTUNITY
25
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:21,980
TO LIVE RENT FREE.
26
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,027
IN THE BASEMENT.
ISN'T THAT EXCITING?
27
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,129
YOU KNOW THE
BASEMENT, DON'T YOU?
28
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:28,320
THE FLOOR JUST ABOVE HELL?
29
00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:30,922
WHY IS IT RENT FREE?
30
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:34,259
BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO BE
THE NEW SúPER INTENDENTS.
31
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,528
I DON'T MIND US LIVING
IN THE BASEMENT.
32
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:38,741
OH, ASHLEY, THAT IS SO NICE.
33
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,643
TELL HER WHY THAT
WON'T WORK, HONEY.
34
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,268
WELL, YOU SEE, IT'S ONLY
A STUDIO APARTMENT,
35
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:46,071
SO THERE'S NOT GOING TO
BE ENOUGH ROOM FOR YOU.
36
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:48,407
SEE, SHARON STILL
HASN'T FOUND A JOB,
37
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:52,010
AND SHE'S WORKING THROUGH
THIS DIFFICULT PERIOD BY SHOPPING.
38
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,790
GREAT. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
39
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,181
I ONLY HAVE A MONTH
TO FIND AN APARTMENT.
40
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,295
ACTUALLY, IT HAS
TO BE THIS WEEKEND,
41
00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:00,252
OTHERWISE THEY'RE GOING
TO GIVE THE SUPER'S JOB
42
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,031
TO SOMEONE ELSE AND
WE'LL LOSE THE BASEMENT.
43
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,455
WE COULDN'T HAVE THAT.
44
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:06,024
YOU KNOW HOW WE LOVE
TO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW
45
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:11,930
AND ANKLE-WATCH.
46
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:15,245
"AS LONG AS BIG IM OPEN, LET'S
TAKE OUT A KIDNEY. BIG LAUGHS".
47
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,171
YOU KNOW, THERE'S A RUMOR
GOING AROUND THE HOSPITAL
48
00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:21,218
THAT YOU AND ASHLEY
HAVE BROKEN UP.
49
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,641
THAT'S NOT SO MUCH A RUMOR
50
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:26,745
AS IT IS A FLIER I HAD
PRINTED UP AT KINKO'S.
51
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,091
MAYBE I COULD GIVE YOU MY NUMBER
52
00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:30,282
AND WE COULD GO OUT SOMETIME.
53
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,861
WE'RE FROM SUCH
DIFFERENT WORLDS,
54
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,786
ME BEING A MAN,
YOU BEING A WOMAN.
55
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,221
OH, WHAT THE HELL?
LET THEM JUDGE US.
56
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:40,659
ASHLEY STILL LIVES HERE?
57
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,194
YEAH, BUT SHE LIVES WITH
DIFFERENT PEOPLE NOW.
58
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,230
HI, BERG. HI.
59
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:47,266
GOSH, IS IT WEDNESDAY ALREADY?
60
00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:49,701
HE ALWAYS BRINGS A NURSE
HOME ON WEDNESDAYS.
61
00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,303
HE'S SO PREDICTABLE.
62
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:54,451
DON'T LISTEN TO HER. I
HATE YOU. YOU LOVE ME.
63
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,708
SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP.
64
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,946
SO I HAVE A REAL
FEELING ABOUT US.
65
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:04,516
OKAY. ARE YOU NUTS?
66
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:07,029
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO
GETHER NUMBER FOR DAYS.
67
00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:10,121
DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU
ARE SUPPOSED TO WAIT 21 DAYS
68
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:12,557
BEFORE TROLLING AROUND
FOR NEW PHONE NUMBERS?
69
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,937
WAS THAT IN THE
APRIL ISSUE OF SASSY?
70
00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:16,740
'CAUSE I DIDN'T GET THAT ONE.
71
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:19,298
THANK YOU FOR MAKING
IT THAT MUCH EASIER
72
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:20,532
FOR ME TO GET OVER YOU.
73
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,246
HEY, YOU TWO SNOW LEOPARDS.
74
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,682
YOU BETTER GET INSIDE
BEFORE YOU CATCH COLD.
75
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,717
THAT'D BE A BAD WAY TO
START THE NEW MINNELLIUM.
76
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:28,752
I MEAN MILLENNIUM.
77
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:29,741
ISN'T THAT A HARD WORD TO SAY?
78
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,176
IT'S LIKE CIMMANON.
79
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:35,079
OH, CHEESE AND WHISKERS,
I'VE DONE IT AGAIN.
80
00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:38,283
OKAY, WELL, RUN
ALONG, LITTLE PERSON.
81
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,829
OKAY. OKAY.
82
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,687
NOT YOU.
83
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:45,991
KNOCK, KNOCK!
84
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,892
KNOCKETY-KNOCK, KNOCK.
85
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:51,597
DING-DONG.
86
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:58,135
DING-DONG... DONG-DONG... DONG.
87
00:03:58,171 --> 00:03:59,838
I'M HERE!
88
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:03,441
OKAY, I WAS JUST
WALKING BY, AND I THOUGHT,
89
00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:06,278
"WHO DO I KNOW THAT
WOULD WANT TO HELP ME
90
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:09,915
PUT TOGETHER MY
BRAND-NEW KITTY HOTEL?"
91
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,883
WHO'D YOU COME UP WITH?
92
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:16,354
YOU, YOU GOOSE ON THE LOOSE.
93
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:18,368
YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN'T.
94
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,991
IRENE, I'M ALLERGIC TO CATS.
95
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:21,526
OH. THAT'S TOO BAD.
96
00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:23,795
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
READ ME THE INSTRUCTIONS
97
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,297
FROM THE HALL?
98
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:27,443
THAT SOUNDS GOOD,
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
99
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:28,477
I'M DYSLEXIC.
100
00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:30,668
I MADE ROCK CANDY.
101
00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:32,870
AND I HAVE ADULT DIABETES.
102
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:36,441
PETER DUNVILLE, ARE
YOU TRYING TO AVOID ME?
103
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,143
NO. NO, NO, NO.
104
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,123
YOU COULDN'T BE
FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH...
105
00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:42,080
BABY RUTH.
106
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,849
OH, PETE, YOU'RE PLAYING!
107
00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:46,051
YAY.
108
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,785
HERE ARE THE INSTRUCTIONS.
109
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:50,655
I'LL CALL YOU, AND YOU CAN
DESCRIBE THE PICTURES TO ME.
110
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:52,601
OKAY. I'LL BE WAITING
FOR YOUR CALL.
111
00:04:57,364 --> 00:05:00,131
AT O'MALLEY'S.
112
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:04,102
BUT... WE'RE... BROKEN UP.
113
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,237
AND OF ALL THE WOMEN AT WORK,
114
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:08,506
WHY MUST IT BE
NURSE "NEVER SAY NO"?
115
00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:10,208
FOR GOD'S SAKE,
116
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,455
YOU JUST ANSWERED
YOUR OWN QUESTION.
117
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,279
HEY, ASHLEY. DROP DEAD.
118
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,414
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
119
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,494
SHE CAME OUTSIDE
WHILE I WAS GETTING
120
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:20,596
A NURSE'S PHONE
NUMBER AND THEN STARTS
121
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,698
THROWING AROUND SOME
BOGUS POST-DATING RULE.
122
00:05:22,722 --> 00:05:24,489
THE 21-DAY WAITING PERIOD?
123
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:28,960
IS THERE SOME BREAKUP
NEWSLETTER I'M NOT GETTING?
124
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,398
IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR PETE DUNVILLE,
125
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:34,866
HE'S NOT HOME.
126
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,868
WELL, AT LEAST HE'S NOT
ANSWERING HIS PHONE.
127
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:40,171
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, LADY. I
JUST GOT A PACKAGE FOR HIM.
128
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:42,240
SAY NO MORE, DELIVERYMAN.
129
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:45,576
I'LL HOLD IT HERE UNTIL
HE HAS TO COME GET IT.
130
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,078
DON'T YOU WORRY.
131
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,714
I DIDN'T WORRY WHEN I
DROPPED IT IN THE PUDDLE.
132
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:52,350
YOU THINK I'M GOING
TO WORRY NOW?
133
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,454
HI, IRENE.
134
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:59,557
YOU GETTING A LITTLE
PACKAGE THERE?
135
00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:01,993
NO.
136
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,594
I MEAN, YES.
137
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:07,032
I SAID NO, MEANT YES.
138
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,627
OKAY, WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
139
00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:12,404
HEY, IRENE.
140
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:14,999
IF THERE'S A HEAD IN
THAT BOX, I'M TELLING.
141
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,443
THERE'S NO WAY ALL THIS
142
00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:20,678
IS GOING TO FIT INTO
THAT STUDIO APARTMENT.
143
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,480
SHARON, DON'T BE SO NEGATIVE.
144
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,082
OH, I'M SORRY.
145
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,084
I DON'T MEAN TO BE NEGATIVE,
146
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,953
AND THEN I REMEMBER
THAT I'M GOING TO BE LIVING
147
00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:31,222
IN A BASEMENT WITH A JANITOR!
148
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,857
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
149
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,171
EVERYONE LAUGHS
UNTIL ONE OF US MAKES IT,
150
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:36,594
LIKE SCHNEIDER.
151
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:43,435
HEY, GUYS, IS ASHLEY HERE?
152
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,203
SHE'S IN HER BEDROOM.
153
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,439
YOU WANT TO BUY A TOASTER?
154
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:49,640
I HAVE A TOASTER.
155
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:52,210
YES, AND TO BE HONEST WITH YOU,
156
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,779
I'VE NEVER BEEN THAT
IMPRESSED WITH IT.
157
00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:57,848
THIS BABY'S A 4-SLICER.
158
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,585
GEE, I DON'T KNOW. I
DO ENTERTAIN A LOT
159
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:05,090
AND MY GUESTS OFTEN ASK
FOR FOUR PIECES OF TOAST...
160
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,158
MMM, BUT NO. BETTER NOT.
161
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,994
DON'T WANT TO SEEM "SHOWY."
162
00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:12,175
HEY, BERG. IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.
163
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,664
NO, I DON'T MEAN THAT.
164
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:17,268
I THOUGHT I COULD SAY
IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE.
165
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:19,170
LISTEN, ASHLEY. LOOK.
166
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:21,639
I'VE GIVEN WHAT YOU
SAID ABOUT DATING
167
00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:23,941
A LOT OF CONSIDERATION,
168
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,444
AND I'VE DECIDED I'M
COMPLETELY RIGHT.
169
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,180
JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD
KNOW BEFORE YOU MOVE.
170
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,194
WELL, THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU
171
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:32,717
BUT I'M NOT MOVING.
172
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:34,018
WHAT?
173
00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:36,199
I TALKED TO THE BUILDING OWNER,
174
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:39,690
AND HE HAS AGREED TO LET
ME SUBLET THE APARTMENT
175
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:43,561
SO AS ALWAYS, BERG,
YOU WILL BE BENEATH ME.
176
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,767
SHARON, WOULD YOU PLEASE
GO GET MY BOX FROM IRENE?
177
00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:53,304
I AM LIVING IN A BASEMENT!
178
00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:57,675
JOHNNY, PLEASE?
179
00:07:57,710 --> 00:07:59,910
MY DAD TOLD ME NEVER TO MESS
WITH ANOTHER MAN'S STALKER.
180
00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:05,316
BERG.
181
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:10,388
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GOASK
HER FOR THE PACKAGE?
182
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:12,657
SHE ALWAYS TAKES
IT THE WRONG WAY.
183
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,925
LAST WEEK I HELD THE
DOOR OPEN FOR HER,
184
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:16,339
SHE NAMED THREE OF
HER CATS AFTER ME...
185
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:19,096
PETE, PETEY, AND PEDRO.
186
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:21,544
YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S BE HONEST.
187
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:23,100
LOOK, SHE WANTS ME.
188
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:27,372
DAMN THIS RICKY MARTIN FACE!
189
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,607
I'LL GET THE PACKAGE.
190
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,454
WHOA, BERG. WE'RE
JUST ABOUT TO TAKE
191
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:32,977
ALL THIS STUFF DOWNSTAIRS.
192
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,492
AND MY FRIEND'S
WITHOUT A PACKAGE.
193
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:51,429
OH, HI, BERG. COME ON IN.
194
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:55,099
THANKS, BUT I CAN'T.
PETE'S ALLERGIC TO CATS.
195
00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:56,568
YEAH, ME, TOO.
196
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:59,504
I TAKE LOTS OF PILLS, THOUGH.
197
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:04,141
YEAH... I FIGURED.
198
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:07,579
LISTEN, I REALLY NEED TO
GETTHAT PACKAGE FOR PETE.
199
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:10,915
BUM-BUM, GET DOWN!
200
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,351
CAN YOU BELIEVE HIM?
I BUILD HIM A HOTEL,
201
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,421
AND ALL HE WANTS TO DO
IS HANG FROM THE CURTAINS.
202
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:21,226
OH, HE'S PROBABLY JUST TRYING
TO SIGNAL OUTSIDE FOR HELP.
203
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,127
ANYWAY, THE PACKAGE?
204
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:26,564
OH, NO CAN DO, 6'2".
205
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:30,167
THE DELIVERYMAN SAID
TO ONLY GIVE IT TO PETE,
206
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,803
AND YOU'RE NOT PETE, ARE YOU?
207
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:37,308
MR. JEEBERS, NO! GET OFF HER!
208
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:39,510
HONESTLY, HE'S INSATIABLE.
209
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:45,149
RUN, JUST RUN.
210
00:09:57,997 --> 00:09:59,497
CAREFUL.
211
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,980
HEY, YOU DIDN'T GET
MY PACKAGE FROM IRENE.
212
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:06,537
WELL, I TRIED,
213
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:08,473
BUT IT'S BEHIND THE
CONCIERGE DESK
214
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:09,940
AT THE KITTY HOTEL.
215
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,022
HEY, ASH, WHAT'S GOING ON
216
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:16,213
I AM MOVING INTO
MY NEW APARTMENT.
217
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,616
JUST GOT ALL OF MY
STUFF OUT OF STORAGE.
218
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:21,653
APPARENTLY, YOU STORED
HIM NEXT TO YOUR AB-ROLLER.
219
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:24,489
OH, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT. STOP THE MOVE.
220
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:27,224
PUT EVERYTHING BACK.
221
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:28,660
I WAS PACKING YOUR FILES,
222
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,735
AND I FOUND THIS BANK STATEMENT.
223
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,841
YOU GOT $23,000
IN A MUTUAL FUND.
224
00:10:32,865 --> 00:10:35,010
SHARON, THAT'S MY LIFE SAVINGS.
225
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:36,967
YEAH, AND IT'S SAVING OUR LIVES.
226
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,604
WE'RE STAYING UPSTAIRS.
227
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,417
NO, WE'RE NOT. WE'RE
MOVING DOWNSTAIRS.
228
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,174
BABY, OUR ROOM'S
STILL AVAILABLE.
229
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,875
OOH, ACTUALLY, IT'S NOT.
230
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:47,278
VICTOR'S NOT ONLY
HELPING ME MOVE,
231
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,280
HE'S ALSO MY NEW ROOMMATE.
232
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,316
Victor: ALOHA, NEIGHBORS.
233
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,819
HER ROOMMATE?
234
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:57,266
DID YOU SEE THE
SIZE OF THAT GUY?
235
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,450
I BET HE CAN GET MY
PACKAGE FROM IRENE.
236
00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:16,240
CAN YOU BELIEVE ASHLEY?
237
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:17,286
I MEAN, WHY DON'T IJUST
MOVE A SUPERMODEL
238
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:18,421
INTO MY APARTMENT?
239
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,879
I THINK THE ANSWER
TO THAT QUESTION
240
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,881
WOULD ONLY HURT YOUR FEELINGS.
241
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:25,395
COULD YOU GUYS
EXCUSE US, PLEASE?
242
00:11:25,419 --> 00:11:26,818
I'M GOING TO KILL JOHNNY
243
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,421
AND I DON'T WANT ANY WITNESSES.
244
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:32,189
I'M GOING TO GO UP
AND TALK TO ASHLEY.
245
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,691
IF VICTOR HAS A PROBLEM...
246
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,993
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
247
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,731
HEY, YOU DON'T THINK HE'LL
HAVE A PROBLEM, DO YOU?
248
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:41,065
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.
249
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:43,345
WE HAVE $23,000, AND
WE'RE MOVING HERE.
250
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,737
COME ON, THIS IS
GREAT. LOOK AT THIS. HEY.
251
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:49,240
HUH? WE GOT A MURPHY BED.
252
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,177
AND THERE'S THE BATHROOM.
253
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,480
WOW. THIS IS GREAT.
254
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,181
AND LOOK AT THE TOILET.
255
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,094
IT'S LIKE A
LITTLEPATIO FOUNTAIN.
256
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:00,718
WE AGREED TO LIVE DOWN HERE.
257
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,420
YEAH, BUT THAT WAS BEFORE
258
00:12:02,456 --> 00:12:04,366
I FOUND YOUR FILE
MARKED "I'M RICH."
259
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,591
FOR THE LAST SIX MONTHS,
260
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,604
I HAVE BEEN PAYING THE
BILLSIN OUR APARTMENT.
261
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,361
I WANTED TO HELP.
YOU WOULDN'T LET ME.
262
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,374
I WAS MAKING A LOT OF MONEY,
263
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,477
AND NOW I'M NOT,
YOU HAVE THE MONEY,
264
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:15,967
SO WHY WON'T YOU PAY?
265
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:17,680
I'VE BEEN SAVING THAT
MONEY MY ENTIRE LIFE.
266
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:19,103
THAT IS MY NEST EGG.
267
00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:22,106
SO YOU HAVE IT WHEN
YOU NEED IT, LIKE NOW.
268
00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:24,342
WE HAVE A PLACE TO STAY.
269
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:25,743
SO DO CONVICTS,
270
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:28,245
BUT IF THEY HAD 23,000 SMOKES,
271
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:30,047
THEY'D BUY THEIR WAY OUT.
272
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,495
YOU KNOW WHAT, JOHNNY?
YOU JUST STAY HERE
273
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:35,079
BECAUSE I AM MOVING
BACK UPSTAIRS.
274
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:46,931
OH, OH, GOD, YES. THAT'S
WONDERFUL, VICTOR.
275
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:50,034
YOU KNOW, MY OLD BOYFRIEND
USED TO GIVE ME MASSAGES,
276
00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:52,036
BUT I COULD BARELY FEEL THEM.
277
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:54,416
HE WAS SO WEAK AND SCRAWNY.
278
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,141
OH, HELLO, FELLAS.
279
00:12:57,176 --> 00:13:00,244
I THINK YOU KNOW
MY NEW ROOMMATE...
280
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:05,216
PROFESSIONAL MASSEUR
VICTOR, SOOTHER OF MUSCLES.
281
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:08,019
HI. MICHAEL BERGEN,
DOCTOR OF MEDICINE.
282
00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:12,156
HI. PETE DUNVILLE,
SELLER OF MAKEUP.
283
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:13,825
I HAVE A PACKAGE DOWNSTAIRS.
284
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:17,662
IT MIGHT BE FROM MY MOM
OR IT COULD BE A PRIZE.
285
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:19,664
I ENTER A LOT OF CONTESTS.
286
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,465
NOT NOW.
287
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:25,703
ASHLEY, CAN I HAVE A MOMENT
ALONE WITH YOU, PLEASE?
288
00:13:25,739 --> 00:13:27,550
YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING
IN FRONT OF VICTOR.
289
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:28,973
OKAY, FINE.
290
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,910
LOOK, YOU'RE LETTING A
GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE THAT...
291
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:35,346
AND BY THAT, I MEAN AVERAGE...
292
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:38,315
MOVE INTO YOUR
APARTMENT AND RUB YOU?
293
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:39,316
IS THIS ABOUT ME?
294
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,552
NO, VICTOR.
295
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:43,955
YOU'RE NOT MY
BOYFRIEND ANY MORE.
296
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,658
I THINK SOMEBODY'S
FORGETTING THE 21-DAY RULE.
297
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:49,928
I'M NOT DATING VICTOR.
IT'S PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE.
298
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,664
OH, GOD, YES, THAT'S THE STUFF.
299
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:55,033
YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN NOTHING
BUT TROUBLE AROUND HERE
300
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:56,601
SINCE VICTOR MOVED IN.
301
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:57,902
I THINK THIS IS ABOUT ME.
302
00:13:57,938 --> 00:13:58,970
THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!
303
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:03,007
THE WORLD DOES NOT
REVOLVE AROUND VICTOR!
304
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,341
BERG, WHAT I DID WAS NO WORSE
305
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:07,812
THAN YOU DATING EVERY
CHIPPY IN A WHITE DRESS.
306
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,448
SHE WAS ONLY GIVING
ME HER PHONE NUMBER.
307
00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:13,217
THERE'S TOO MUCH TENSION
HERE, AND I SHOULD KNOW.
308
00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:15,319
I'M IN THE TENSION BUSINESS.
309
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,789
ASHLEY, THIS ISN'T
GOING TO WORK FOR ME.
310
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:20,357
I CAN'T BE YOUR ROOMMATE.
311
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:24,161
AND YOU, YOU'RE
LUCKY I'M A HEALER.
312
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,263
WELL, THANKS A LOT, BERG.
313
00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:28,744
NOW NOT ONLY DID I
LOSE MY NEW ROOMMATE,
314
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,702
BUT I ALSO LOST THE GUY
315
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,971
WHO WAS GOING TO MOVE MY STUFF.
316
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,707
I'M SO SORRY FOR YOU, ASHLEY.
317
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:43,114
YEAH, SORRY FOR YOU, ASHLEY.
318
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:45,750
HEY, AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT BUSY,
319
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:48,753
YOU MIND BRINGING UP
THE REST OF MY FURNITURE?
320
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,688
NO. NO WAY, ASHLEY.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
321
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:52,523
YOU MAY BE ABLE
TO MANIPULATE BERG,
322
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:53,758
BUT NOT ME.
323
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,292
I'LL GET YOUR PACKAGE.
324
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,861
I'LL START WITH THE DISHES.
325
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,172
OH, HI, ASHLEY.
326
00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:10,767
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, FREAK.
327
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:15,379
I WANT PETE'S PACKAGE.
328
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:17,214
I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU.
329
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,128
WELL, MAYBE YOUR CATS ARE.
330
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,618
OKAY, HERE'S THE DEAL.
331
00:15:20,654 --> 00:15:23,198
FOR EVERY DAY PETE
DOESN'T HAVE HIS PACKAGE,
332
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:25,322
YOU LOSE ONE CAT.
333
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:28,192
IS THAT CAT WEARING
A BATHING SUIT?
334
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:40,337
SHARON HERE?
335
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,918
YES. SHE HAS LOCKED
HERSELF IN VICTOR'S BEDROOM.
336
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,743
Sharon: IT'S MY BEDROOM!
337
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:48,680
SHARON, COME OUT.
YOU CAN'T STAY HERE.
338
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:51,115
WE LIVE DOWNSTAIRS NOW.
339
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:53,818
SHARON!
340
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:56,198
I'M NOT LEAVING.I
HATE IT DOWN THERE.
341
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:58,134
IT'S MOLDY AND
DARKAND DEPRESSING.
342
00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:01,625
IF WE HAVE THE MONEY,
WHY CAN'T WE LIVE HERE?
343
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,360
BECAUSE I WANT A HOUSE!
344
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:06,130
YOU KNOW, I WANT US AND OUR KIDS
345
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:09,200
TO HAVE SOME SECURITY.
346
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:12,136
YOU KNOW, A FUTURE
WHERE WE'RE NOT DYING
347
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,138
TO MAKE OUR BILLS EVERY MONTH
348
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:17,942
LIKE WE ARE NOW,
LIKE MY FOLKS HAD TO.
349
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:25,149
SO IF IT MEANS
LIVING IN A BASEMENT
350
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,651
AND BEING A JANITOR
IN THE PRESENT,
351
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,520
YOU KNOW, SO BE IT.
352
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:32,023
IT MAY NOT BE GOOD
ENOUGH FOR YOU,
353
00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:34,726
BUT IT SURE IS FOR ME.
354
00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:37,228
SO IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
355
00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:40,664
I HAVE TO GO GRAB MY SQUEEGEE.
356
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,666
A DOG PEED ON OUR WINDOW,
357
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,302
AND I WILL NOT LIVE LIKE THAT.
358
00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:49,707
SHE'S ALL YOURS.
359
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:54,678
PETE, WILL YOU WATCH
WHERE YOU'RE GOING?
360
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,214
HEY, IS THERE ANY REASON
361
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:58,816
THAT I'M THE ONLY
ONE NOT MOVING,
362
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,651
YET I'M THE ONLY ONE MOVING!
363
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,991
ALL RIGHT, THAT IS THE LAST BOX.
364
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:10,461
NOW I WANT MY PACKAGE, ASHLEY.
365
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:12,696
AND I WANT MY MATTRESS, PETE.
366
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,766
HMM, WHAT WILL WE DO?
367
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,600
FORGET IT. I'M NOT YOUR PUPPET.
368
00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,814
FINE, IF YOU DON'T
WANT YOUR PRIZE.
369
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,872
IS IT A PRIZE?
370
00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:23,707
WHAT DID YOU HEAR?
371
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,710
I HEAR THE PITTER-PATTER
OF YOUR LITTLE FEET
372
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:29,306
BRINGING MY MATTRESS UPSTAIRS.
373
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:47,064
BERG, COULD YOU AT
LEAST GET THE DOOR?
374
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,901
WHOA. SURE, BUDDY.
375
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:53,204
OH, BOY, I'M TOTALLY GOING
TO FEEL THAT TOMORROW.
376
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,675
GET OUT OF MY WAY.
377
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,588
I'M SENSING A
LITTLE TENSION HERE,
378
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:02,313
BUT THEN AGAIN,
WHAT WOULD I KNOW?
379
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:04,393
I'M NOT IN THE TENSION BUSINESS.
380
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,617
LOOK, BERG, UNTIL I
FIND A NEW ROOMMATE,
381
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,719
YOU ARE PAYING HALF MY RENT.
382
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,322
FINE. UNTIL I FIND A NEW DATE,
383
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:14,458
YOU'RE PAYING FOR
HALF OF MY... CABLE.
384
00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:15,960
YOU ARE SO PETTY.
385
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:17,594
YOU DELIBERATELY
SCARED VICTOR OFF
386
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,496
TO GET BACK AT
ME FOR THAT NURSE.
387
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,877
THAT'S RIGHT. I
KNEW I HAD A REASON.
388
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:23,312
WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.
NOW I'M MISERABLE.
389
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,536
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED?
390
00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:28,940
I'D LIKE YOU TO BE
AS MISERABLE AS I AM.
391
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,752
YES, JUST LIKE YOU.
YOU'RE MISERABLE?
392
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,210
HMM. WELL, I WAS,
393
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,578
BUT NOW THAT I KNOW
YOU'RE MISERABLE,
394
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:36,247
I'M HAPPY.
395
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,093
WELL, I'M HAPPY
THAT YOU'RE HAPPY,
396
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,462
SO THAT MUST MAKE YOU
PRETTY DAMN MISERABLE,
397
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:42,653
SO, HA! I WIN! HOO-AH!
398
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:44,889
I AM SO MISERABLE.
399
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:48,159
I AM SO HAPPY.
400
00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:50,294
LOOK, I FOUND IT.
401
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:53,764
AND NOW I'M GOING TO OPEN IT.
402
00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:58,669
OH, IT'S A MEMBERSHIP
403
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:01,305
TO THE FRUIT OF THE MONTH CLUB.
404
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:09,113
"APRICOTS, GRAPES,
MANGOS, AND MORE,
405
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,182
"MY WAY TO SAY THANK YOU
406
00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:15,019
FOR HOLDING THE
DOOR. LOVE, IRENE."
407
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:19,323
FRUITS FROM A NUT
IT'S KIND OF CLEVER.
408
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:30,334
IT'S LIKE THE BEST
FORT I EVER HAD.
409
00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:35,273
HI.
410
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:38,309
HI.
411
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,155
THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID.
412
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:43,180
YOU KNOW THAT HOUSE
YOU WANT TO BUY?
413
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:45,950
WELL, I WANT TO
LIVE THERE WITH YOU.
414
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:49,220
SO IF IT MEANS LIVING
LIKE A COUPLE OF BATS
415
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:52,890
IN A CAVE IN NEW MEXICO...
416
00:19:52,926 --> 00:19:55,226
THEN I'M ALL FOR IT.
417
00:19:55,261 --> 00:19:56,860
TERRIFIC.
418
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:59,375
OF COURSE, I'VE NEVER
LIVED IN SQUALOR,
419
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,710
SO, UM, I'M SURE I'LL RESENT IT,
420
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,678
AND CONSEQUENTLY
YOU'REGOING TO HAVE TO PAY
421
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,547
IN A THOUSAND SMALL WAYS.
422
00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:06,904
NOT UNEXPECTED.
423
00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:09,084
AND EVERY TIME I'M
LOSING AN ARGUMENT,
424
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:11,620
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO
THROW THE BASEMENT BACK
425
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:12,922
IN YOUR FACE.
426
00:20:12,946 --> 00:20:16,713
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU LOST AN ARGUMENT?
427
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:21,252
SO, YOU'RE GOING TO STAY?
428
00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:23,554
YEAH.
429
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:26,824
GOOD.
430
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:28,125
NOW LET'S GO.
431
00:20:28,161 --> 00:20:29,526
WHERE?
432
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,706
I'M TAKING YOU OUTTO
A LOBSTER DINNER.
433
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,664
OOH, SOUNDS KIND OF PRICEY.
434
00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:35,732
WELL, I LOVE YOU...
435
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:38,735
AND YOU CAN'T HAVE AN APPETIZER.
436
00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:45,843
UH, MR. SUPERINTENDENT.
437
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,456
OH, HI, PETE.
438
00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:02,393
LISTEN, IRENE, I JUST
WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU
439
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,439
FOR THE FRUIT. YOU
REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE.
440
00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:06,430
OH, GOODY. WHAT
DID YOU GET FIRST?
441
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:07,642
UM, APRICOTS.
442
00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:08,999
APRICOTS! YAY!
443
00:21:09,035 --> 00:21:11,535
MR. BUMPY SAID IT
WOULD BE APRICOTS.
444
00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:13,270
DO YOU WANT TO COME IN?
445
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:16,206
I WAS JUST ABOUT
TO GIVE HIM HIS BATH.
446
00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:19,476
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU
LICK HIM, DOES IT, IRENE?
447
00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:21,912
NO, SILLY.
448
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:24,026
NO. MAYBE SOME OTHER
TIME, BUT THANKS AGAIN.
449
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,582
NO, IT WAS MY PLEASURE.
450
00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:28,953
OH, MR. JEEBERS,
FOR THE LAST TIME,
451
00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:31,488
SHE IS A FERRET!
29776
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