Original subtitles

OUR HUSBANDS

Roberta's husband

- Sir, I'm going to the mass. - Good, go to the mass.

- I brought the eggs. - Dear Brigerio! Take them inside.

- How's the lady, Mr. Giovanni? - Better. She's still at her mother's.

She'll be back in a couple of days. - Good. I'm glad about it.

directed by

- Excuse me. Where's the clinic's entrance? - There, on the left.

- Madam. Did they bring a lady here... - Go downstairs.

Sister! Did they bring a young lady in ambulance?

Yes, Mrs. Roberta. She's in my unit. Six professors are examining her.

- They're passionate. - What do they say? - They're not done yet. Come!

They say it's a unique case. They're so happy. Here's the professor.

- Professor. The husband of No.34. - I'm the husband of No.34.

- Good morning. I'd like to know... - Let's go in my office.

- In your office? - Yes.

- After you. - Thanks.

Cigarette?

I don't smoke, Professor.

We carefully examined your wife.

Before completing our report, we need to ask you some psychological questions.

Tell me, Professor.

Where did you meet your wife?

At the parish theater.

Father Costantino had staged a play with young girls.

They were his pupils.

Wellborn.

The sun has already set and the first stars are shining in the sky.

The moon, too.

And I still don't hear his footsteps.

Father Costantino had been my teacher.

He took me to the theater. In truth, I was getting bored.

I keep my ears open to no avail. My love won't be coming.

Where is my love? I walked for three days and three nights.

I even faced death to arrive at this appointment.

Don Costantino?

- But he's a young man, not a girl. - You fell for it!

- What? Is she a girl? - She's my pupil.

- I'm glad. Thank goodness! - Why?

Because I felt very captivated since the first moment I saw her.

No, she doesn't love me.

- Are you sure it's a girl? - Cut it out.

She's my pupil, Roberta.

She'll never know.

And yet I love her.

She's beautiful!

How beautiful she is!

Graceful.

I like her so much.

- I'm glad you like her. - Don Costantino, do you think she's right for me?

Well, I really think she is.

In the East, where I used to live for many years,

the woman is a lamina, while man is a pillar.

Here in the West, man and woman are both pillars.

Don Costantino, I want her to be my fiancée!

So, we got engaged with the help of Don Costantino.

I was happy. I intended to give her a jewel as gift.

I'd like something else.

But I'd like to give you something precious, wonderful and beautiful.

A diamond, a sapphire, a ruby...

Thanks darling, but...

- I really don't like jewels. - What'd you want?

I want a Moto Guzzi 250.

- A Moto Guzzi? - Yes, right.

- A motorcycle? - Yes.

Very interesting. Tell me...

Did you have intimate relationship with your fiancée during the engagement?

Intimate?

It was against my principles. What are you saying?

I'm saying that you didn't know her!

I didn't know her?

Not in a biblical sense.

I suppose you led her to the altar with all her purity.

Of course, Professor.

We got married after a year.

We went to Venice for our honeymoon.

There they are!

Congratulations!

Hi mom.

- Roberta, are you happy? - Yes, mom. Very happy.

Hi aunt.

- Hi. How do you do? - Fine.

- Here are the flowers. - Beautiful. - Congratulations!

- Thanks everyone for coming. - Roberta, my dear.

Did you watch Inter? 2-0 away.

- Not the moment to talk about sport. Where's your husband? - Who?

- Your husband. - There he is.

Thank you very much, my friends!

It was so kind of you all to come at the station.

- How was the trip? - Wonderful. Thank you.

Father Costantino.

Thank you so much for coming at the station.

- Very honored of your presence. - Don't mention it.

- Tell me, how was your honeymoon? - Wonderful, Father.

What are those plasters?

- The pigeons at St Mark's Square: they caught me. - Have they become hawks?!

- I have to talk to you. - Certainly.

- You met your mother-in-law?! - No. - Go!

I'm sorry, madam. I hardly saw you in this chaos.

Giovanni, tell me the truth. Are you happy?

Completely happy, madam. Dear aunt.

Holy god! I gave you an electric shaver. Trim your mustache when in public.

- You better mind your own business. - Worse for you.

- Did you take many pictures? - Yes, Father.

Colored. 6 rolls of film. I'll show them to you.

- Sir, you're back. - Rosetta.

Congratulations! May you be blessed with a baby boy! My regards, madam.

- Thank you. - Goodbye. - Congratulations to the newlyweds.

Congratulations!

Hold the bride in your arms!

Bye. See you soon!

What a nice couple!

Damn it! Why did you hold me in your arms?!

You're a stupid!

- Push it. - You pull it!

- Perhaps your foot grew. - Pull it!

I'm pulling it. Can't you wear shoes?

Why? I prefer boots.

Sir, where should I put the suitcases?

The leather suitcase in my husband's room. The other two in my room.

- Won't you sleep together? - No. We'll sleep apart.

- Apart? - What's strange about it?

- That's how it is nowadays. - I didn't know.

Why should you?! Nowadays couples sleep apart.

They meet if they want to. Mind your own business.

I just asked about the suitcases.

Sweetheart.

I'm going out. - Where are you going?

Don Costantino wants to have a talk.

The honeymoon was marvelous.

If you knew how happy, cheerful, and carefree she was.

And so pretty.

The trouble started when we arrived in Venice.

What trouble?

- I'm speaking openly, as in confession. - Sure, my son. What happened?

- What happened?! - Yes. What happened?

- Nothing. - Nothing? How come?

Don't you get it?

She didn't want to sleep with me.

She looked insane.

She said: "I don't want you to trample my dignity.

You're evil. I don't want to be subordinated to you."

How do you explain it, Father?

Man and woman are not the same.

Listen, Giovanni. You should know that women have evolved.

Woman are not like in past centuries.

They seek independence, self-affirmation, and above all,

she doesn't want to be subordinated.

- What does "be subordinated" mean? - It means "be sub-ordinated".

Look, when your wife refuses, she incarnates the spirit of rebellion

nourished for centuries, because they were always subordinated.

In every aspect of life.

You're well-spoken, but I don't get it.

You never understood at school and made it hard for me.

Roberta is a strong and tenacious girl, with a great temper.

You should be tactful and patient.

- She keeps the bedroom door closed. - You should be patient!

Everything should be graceful. It should look like a game.

Like the swallows up the sky.

Yes, the swallows. Easy to say.

- You don't want to understand. - No, Father, I want to.

- It'll be hard for me, but I'll do as you say. - Hey, kids!

- What are you doing? - Goodbye Don Costantino. - Bye.

Let's stop it now!

Come on!

Come on, you scoundrel.

Pass the ball to the unmarked player.

- He kicked his leg! - The scoundrel.

- Penalty! See, it was a penalty. - Yes, sure.

One minute to go. We win if he scores.

- Better. So we can go to sleep. - What?

What?

- Why? Can't we? - Give me a cigarette.

After moments of frenzy, the crowd is quiet. 100.000 fans keep silence.

Mazzola from the spot. Goal!

- Goal! We won! - Are you happy?

- My love... - No...

No, Giovanni! What are you doing?

What am I doing?! I'm playing.

- Stop it. I don't want to. - A game... like the swallows.

- The swallows what? - Subordinate.

I'll make you subordinate.

Stop it!

- Don't move. I'll block you! - Sir! What's going on?

- What're you doing? Japanese wrestling? - She's good at Judo.

- Stop the game. - Sir, you need help?

- Shut up. We're playing. - But it's a dangerous one.

- Mind your own business. - Ha ha, dangerous!

It's a game between lovers. We're two little birds.

- Leave me! - You're my swallow.

The match ended. Good night.

- Baby, leave the door open, I'll greet you later. - Don't start again.

Good night, madam. Sleep well.

To bed!

Right away.

Darling, leave the door open. I'll come and greet you later.

The mister is having fun, huh? With the young, pretty wife...

- Sir! Can I say something? - Yes, please.

She's bad-tempered.

I didn't ask for your opinion. Shut up! Not your business.

Sir, she locked the door!

How many times should I repeat? You're a servant here.

Whatever happens here it should be out of your concern!

- Also, don't tell people about me. - I don't say a word.

- Yes, you do it. - No.

She's tenacious... strong...

A great temperament.

I have to be patient.

- Sir, I'm here if you need anything. Just call me. - Yes, I will.

(# I'm going to Calcutta #)

(# Then I'm going to Peru #)

- # Then I'm going to Peru #. (# Darling, I won't be back home again #)

(# You live in the museums, I love the Luna Parks #)

(# While you're reading Shakespeare, I dream of New York #)

(# One can't drink with you, You can't stand the smoke #)

(# That's why I chose my freedom #)

Look at that face, you bastard! You hardly stand up.

- Are you joking? - What're you doing at night?

What're you doing all night?

Go away.

Here's the plastic stand which displays the products of the local artisans.

- And after the exhibition? - Then, we plan to use the platform to build the school.

- Good. Are you doing the calculations? - If you don't have any objection.

Who are these raving mad? Aren't there any speed limits?

Sir, I seize the opportunity to tell you that I've prepared

a plan for the noise control. We'll stop it...

- Isn't she your wife? - Is she?

Your wife? Riding a motorcycle?

She's still a little girl, sir.

Hi Giovanni.

- What is it? Are you angry? - No.

I've been waiting you for 3 hours. But, I keep calm.

I'd like have a quiet word with you.

- Take that tracksuit off! - We can talk the same.

No, I don't like to see you dressed like a man.

- Why? Don't you like me? - No, I don't like you.

I was dressed as a lieutenant when you first saw me.

Yes, in fact you looked great dressed as lieutenant... with a mustache.

But you're my wife now. You should dress like a lady.

Don't ride the motorcycle! Don't wear that tracksuit!

I'm a city hall employee and I don't do that.

I'd be ashamed as a man. Let alone a woman.

Why are you starting with these distinctions?

Because there are some distinctions between a man and a woman, my darling.

Well, when we got married you promised me equal rights and freedom.

I don't deny equality. But I want you to remain a woman and preserve your femininity.

No darling, forget about it. I don't feel like a woman at all.

- What do you feel like? - I feel like a man.

Roberta, stop it! You're hurting me.

Why talk like this?

See, you agree only in words with the equality of rights.

While in real life, you start feeling bad.

Roberta, I love you!

I want you. You're my wife. I only want you to be mine.

Don't start it again! I'm neither yours, nor anyone else's.

- Leave me. - No, you're my wife. I have all my rights over you.

- Don't touch me! - Beauty.

I won't let you. Even if I force you.

- Really? - O god!

- What're you doing? - You'll see.

- You're calling mom, huh? - Hello?

- Hello, police? - Chief Zannone here.

- The chief? - I'm Mrs. Lo Verso.

- My husband is using violence. - What? - Yes, he twisted my arm.

- Did he hurt you? - No, I defended myself.

- Help from the police?! - I fear my husband.

He's forcing me to do what I don't want to.

- Let me talk to your husband. - Yes Sir, talk to him.

Fine. I'll pass him to you.

Come. The chief wants to have a talk.

- With me? - Right. You can't use violence.

What a shame talking about our affairs!

Look where we are now!

- Hello chief. Good evening. - Mr. Lo Verso, what's happening?

Nothing. It's about my wife. I'm at my home, not harassing anyone.

It's not about harassing. But, you can't assault and force a woman...

We're talking about my wife. We're married for 2 months.

Disgrace!

You can't use violence, twist her arm or make her do what she doesn't want to.

- Then, you tell me what to do. - What could I tell you?!

Be patient for tonight. Have a cold shower and go for walk.

- Otherwise, I'll take measures. - Take measures?

Fine, chief. Please keep it secret. Good evening and thanks!

See? Did you hear him?

Are you happy?

# I'm going to Calcutta #

Am I happy?!

I understand.

Yes.

Everything's clear.

- What Professor? - Be patient for a few minutes.

So, your wife showed a stronger character after the wedding.

Manly, I'd say. She rebelled against your desire to know her in a biblical sense.

That's right Professor. Crazy thing.

I got crazy, too. I was nervous and couldn't sleep.

An obsession that kept me from working.

You're distracted. You're making such a mess.

You're making a mess in the regulatory plan.

It's obvious. You're exhausted!

What do you do at night? Don't you sleep?

I'm married since 2 months.

Come on! We've been young bridegrooms, too. But we didn't behave like this.

Listen. I'm very sorry, but I can't confirm you in your job.

- What does it mean? Am I fired? - Exactly.

Sir, I am starting family.

The family will be in trouble if I don't work.

You're right. But I've been a devoted employee for years.

There she is.

- Roberta. - What is it?

I got fired.

Really?

Why are you so sad?

Don't you understand? I'm unemployed now.

Don't worry about it. You got fired. We'll manage it.

How?

- Do you remember when I told you about that job as wine agent? - Wine?

- I can do that. I like it. - But I don't. I don't want my wife to work.

I know. In fact, I renounced it. But now I have to accept it.

- I'm so happy. I feel useful at last. Hold the basket. - Yes.

No, no! You work while I stay! It'd be useless. How much do they offer you?

Enough for the two of us. We'll start saving.

We'll fire the waitress.

But... Who's going to take care of me if you work? Who'll keep the house tidy?

Who will do the shopping? Who will cook?

Giovanni!

Here you are.

Roberta!

- Darling, it's 9:30 pm. - Well, okay. I got late.

Nice smell.

Grab a seat.

I'm coming.

You'll like it.

Darling. My pretty love.

Please give me a call whenever you are late.

You knew I'd cook a soup.

I put pasta in it and it gets overcooked.

I also put some peas. You'll like it.

How can you talk about peas and pasta?! I drove 150 miles.

Okay, my darling.

- The job's going fine at least. - Yes, but I'm at home.

And I get worried. Give me a phone call.

Then you don't find it ready and start screaming.

- It's got no taste. - You like pepper, right? - Where's the cheese?

- I'm going. I'll grate it. - Everything's missing here.

(# I'm going to Calcutta, with the 3 o'clock flight #)

# You stay with your books and without me #

(# Around the world, I'll feast in night clubs #)

(# Nights will pass by dancing the cha-cha-chá #)

(# I'll go with new friends to Cuba and New Orleans #)

(# I'll have motorcycles and long blue jeans #)

(# You can't drink with you, you can't stand smoke #)

(# That's why I chose my freedom #)

(# I'm going to Calcutta, with the 3 o'clock flight #)

- Roberta, open it darling. - What do you want? Why insist?

Because I love you, darling.

Because I'm your husband.

Because I have the right to enter.

Come on, don't start it again. I'm so tired.

- I have to get up early tomorrow. - Roberta, open it.

It's better you open it.

Otherwise I'll smash everything up!

No!

I broke the bone.

Dear son-in-law, you behaved indecently. Shame on you!

You can't do such things! Assaulting a young woman while she's sleeping!

I wanted to enter the room. I broke my arm.

- I'm her husband. I do have some rights over her. - What rights are you talking about?!

- It's her that works and earns the money. - She asked me to.

No way! You got fired. Why do you complain?

Roberta is the ideal wife. She even renounced the waitress.

Well, I take care of the house. You think it's easy doing the housework?

I get up early and start cleaning, then do the cooking.

I make dinner ready. Then at night, I have right for some tenderness. - No way!

Find another one if you can't refrain from giving vent to your base instincts.

Let my daughter alone. She's tired and exhausted from work.

You know what, madam? From now on she won't work.

- Who says that? - I do. I'm the husband and I should work.

Roberta should just be a wife.

What're you doing? Are you still busy with the shopping?!

Roberta, look who's here today. Come here for a moment.

- Hi darling. - Hi mom.

- Well, I guess the dinner's not ready, right? - No, it's not.

- What happened? - The dinner will never be ready if you don't cook.

- What is it with you? - Take the shopping basket.

Get inside.

- What are you doing? - What's wrong? You want one too?

- Freak! - Bugger off!

Did you understand now?

Do you need other examples to learn who's the husband here?

Oh god, the arm.

You're evil.

- You trampled my dignity. - She started again.

You want to prevail by force, to subordinate me.

Roberta, you've got fever. You're delirious. It's always like this.

- But I begged you to be patient. - No, I didn't do anything.

Well then, what did you do to her?

I just forbid her to work. I didn't want to feel humiliated, subordinated.

My blessed children!

Is this crisis same as the other before?

- Always the same. - Did you call the doctor?

Yes, he should be here very soon. There, he's coming.

- God! - What did you do to her? - Me? Nothing.

- Roberta, tell your mom that I did nothing. - Go away.

Send him away, mom. I don't want to see him anymore.

- Leave, you scoundrel. - Madam, can I say something?

- No. You leave, too. - What, Father Costantino?

Giovanni!

We better leave.

Roberta, what did they do to you? Tell your aunt.

Evening thoughts.

Adam's first peaceful sleep was also his last.

He woke up and he had... a wife.

What are you doing with the TV on? Turn it off.

You're bothering Roberta.

How is she, madam?

What did the doctor say?

He's still visiting her.

- Why can't I stay with her? Can I see her for a bit? - No!

I already said no!

Doctor. Please, don't let me be anxious. Tell me the truth.

- How is she? Is it serious? - There's nothing to say.

I've been doctor for 30 years. I never encountered such a case.

- Yes, okay. But what illness is it? - You shouldn't worry.

- God, where's she going? - To her mother's. - Why?

- She asked for it. It's better. Maybe the origin of fever... - No way!

Come on, take it easy.

Roberta, don't go!

Mom, don't take her away! I can't live without her.

Shut up! Go away, scoundrel. Look what you did to her.

- Where are you going? - What do you care, evil man?

- ... With my hat. - Good evening.

We'll send you back the hat and the coat.

So, I was left alone.

Without knowing what was happening.

Perhaps Roberta suffers from a mental illness.

She is obsessed: she wants to become a man.

God!

Tell me, Professor. What is it with her?

What?

You said it.

- I said it? - You said it.

- Say it! - What should I say?

She wants to become...

Come on.

- What? A man? - She's going to become a man.

The first intervention will have exploratory purposes.

Then, we'll see if your wife can be turned into a handsome and sane young man.

- No, no! - Mr. Lo Verso.

- Nature and science have their rights. - No, no!

- No! Roberta! - What are you doing? Mr. Lo Verso!

- Roberta. What's going on here? - She's becoming a man.

- It's you that are becoming mad. - Don't be a child. You must accept it.

- Stand up and come with me. - No. I won't come home with you.

I want to become a man. I always wanted to.

It's my duty.

Your duty is to come home with me and be a wife.

My duty is to become a man and then a soldier.

Don't you hear her?

- I want to become a man, too. - All of us want to become.

May I?

Oh God!

- Move. They're taking her to the operating room. - What? Where are you taking her?

- Go away, please. - Roberta, tell me it's not true!

- Move aside. Go away! - Tell me it's not real!

You ruined her life.

- Roberta, tell her you don't want to. - Mind your own business.

We were so happy, madam.

Roberta, don't do it!

- Leave us in peace. Go away! - She's my wife. I have the right...

Roberta, see you in the operating room.

I feel sick...

- Come on! Hold on! - Who is it?

- Sister. - Yes. - My wife is a man.

- No. - She's a man.

O God!

There.

No, don't be afraid about me.

What's happening? Let's go and see.

- What happened? - They caught a thief?

- They caught someone trying to kiss a soldier. - God damn it! Disgusting!

Aren't you ashamed of bothering a soldier?

Forgive me! That soldier... used to be my wife.

I loved her so much.

OLGA'S HUSBAND

directed by

Last year, at the time when this happening took place,

Monsignor Petrarca was the administrator of the Diocese's property.

That is to say, our chief.

An intelligent and modern man, always on the ball.

Early morning, before starting work, he always goes to church,

where the profane employees go for the mass.

It's not mandatory, but since the Monsignor goes, some of them go, too...

... To show off.

While the others go to keep pace.

Thus, it looks like it's mandatory.

Accountant Pelagatta was the most zealous among them.

A young man around forty from Valpredina.

Zealous as an employee, as well as a Christian.

First to arrive and last to leave. The opposite of Accountant Manzi,

who wasn't very happy to renounce 30 minutes of sleep.

He preferred to have fun during nights 'cause he was a bachelor and reckless.

Mr. Chief Accountant!

In short, Mr. Pelagatta never lost occasion for being on top of the rest.

As on that November evening of last year.

Poor you, Cesare!

I hold you up even tonight.

- It's a pleasure, Monsignor. - Thank you, dear.

Hey! Who is it?

- Accountant! Still here? - There's too much work to do.

It's not right for you to be late. Come on son, let's go.

What could I do, Monsignor? Nobody expects me at home.

I live alone in my humble poverty.

You're a decent young man. I wish everyone were like you!

The Chief Accountant is a teacher to us all, but at his age...

The work piles up. Eg., the grant requested by Emmanuele Orlando 2 years ago.

- Yes, I signed the mandate this morning. - Well, he died in the meantime.

The Chief Usher, a clever and alert man, had noted

that Accountant Pelagatta was the Monsignor's favorite.

And since he had a plan in his mind from a long time...

- Come on, don't exaggerate. - No, let me help you. I'm old here.

The Monsignor holds you in high esteem.

True. In high esteem.

Do you mind if I ask you a little favor?

It's not for me, of course.

It's for my poor old aunt suffering from diabetes.

See, this aunt of mine owns a piece of land next to the Convent.

Well, if you're not contrary, you could persuade the Monsignor

to obtain permit for constructing an access road.

If you could kindly ask the Monsignor,

I'd be very grateful... and tell you all the details.

You got dirty from the ribbon.

Allow me... Done.

Aunt Bice!

Olga!

Aunt Bice!

- Yes, daddy. - Good news.

Accountant Pelagatta promised to put in a good word for us.

- That's why I invited him for lunch. - Good, I'm glad.

- When will we know? - I don't know.

Come on! Let's get it done.

Aunt Bice! Put the embroidered tablecloth, please.

The one we won in the raffle.

Little Olga, get pretty.

Get very pretty because we have to conquer him at any cost.

Dad, you should have bought real champagne instead of Torinese sparkling wine.

You should know that Mrs. Bice had worked for nearly 30 years

as housekeeper, and then as nurse, at a Monsignor

who was a Herald in Portugal, and then a Cardinal.

At death's door, the famous bishop

gives to Mrs. Bice a respectable bequest.

The old woman had made investments which paid off decently.

In fact, aunt Bice was a very calculating and provident person.

She managed to make profit from everything.

Well, there's little to say. French champagne is the best.

- Cheers to you all! - Cheers!

Well, in conclusion... Look!

If you could obtain a permit

to build a road, a very narrow one,

which should pass to this point, the property of aunt Bice

could become a construction area and its value would increase a little bit.

- A little bit, huh? - Yes, a little.

Shall we play "male or female"?

Oh, nice!

Female!

- Female! - No, you should say "male".

Male!

- Female! - Well done!

And now, a kiss to the queen of the party. Come here, my darling!

My turn now.

- Accountant, you too. - Feel free! - No!

Come on, Olga!

- You should do it! - Come on, accountant!

Accountant, do you like the view from the terrace?

Yes madam.

It's really a nice view.

The entire city.

The house is also beautiful.

- Is it theirs? - It's mine.

Yes, it's my aunt's. Me and my dad live in the next flat.

Did you notice flat number 8? This one is number 9.

Does flat no. 8 also belong to your aunt?

All the building.

- My compliments to you, Mrs. Bice. - Very kind, thank you.

Dear Accountant.

Can you see that palace over there?

Below the Rotunda of Miracles. That's mine, too.

There's another one.

You can see it from this side.

It's exactly below the castle.

Porta di Pinta Street, No. 12.

All the building. And then, the palace next to St. Alexander Gate,

on the right, the upper side, there... I have 5 apartments there.

My compliments, madam!

7 more in Str. Paleocha, No. 28. All of them inhabited.

- That's all about apartments. - Well, there's the property next to the Convent.

Yes. I thank you for your concern, dear Accountant.

Let's hope, but...

That's not a big deal.

- 30 million! - That's too much, Mr. Ottavio.

- If only... - No, I'm well informed.

It'll be worth at least 30-40 million if the road is built.

I don't know. I'm not an expert. It seems too much.

Moreover, I won't have enough time to enjoy the money.

- I feel like I'm going to die soon. Very soon. - Come on...

She's going to inherit everything after I'm dead,

My little Olga. All of it.

Even the stocks and bonds. To my sweetheart!

Darling.

Accountant Pelagatta got moving.

A few weeks later he obtained permit for the road in the Convent's land

and proposed marriage to Miss. Olga.

Don't move! Thank you.

Congratulations!

Wealthy, young and pretty. He hit the jackpot!

I really envy him!

A proper honeymoon.

Two days in Milan.

Two days in Venice.

Two days in Florence.

Two hours in Norcia to visit Olga's old uncle. Two days in Rome, too.

Until a phone call by the father-in-law informed Ottavio

about the sudden death of the old Chief Accountant.

Ottavio, hoping to replace him, told Olga: "Let's go back right away."

And added: "Little Olga, you bring me luck."

- The mass has already started. Bye! - Say hello to daddy.

Is it still vacant?

Damn it...

- You put on some weight. - Well...

- How's the bride? - Fine.

But I have to tell you that Accountant Colombo's death

wasn't the only pain I felt during these days.

As soon as I arrived, I learned that the job of the deceased

was assigned to my dear colleague, Giovanni Manzi.

- Excuse me, but I think I deserve it more. - Wait a moment, please.

How dare you be the judge?

Let injury be absent from these words.

Even if you deserve it more than him... You can't have everything in life.

- You already got your luck. You're wealthy. - Me wealthy?

Ah, that's the reason. My wife is wealthy, not me.

And not even her. If she ever will be... Fat chance of that.

The good Christian should not worry about the present only.

But also about the future.

Conversely, the future days that followed were not that good.

Ottavio got nervous about the blocked promotion.

He said that keeping a wife, apart from love,

would be very hard without an adequate salary increase.

Mr. Cesare answered that it wasn't kind from him.

Especially for the fact that Mrs. Bice agreed to move with Mr. Cesare.

So that Ottavio and Olga could have all the apartment for themselves. For free.

- All apartment ours! Bullshit! - Don't raise you voice, please.

It's as if she's living here. First, she takes the corset from the closet.

Then she replaces the candles. Half hour ago she was here... What for?

Don't shout! To put mothballs in wool clothing.

- In winter, huh? - You know she's cautious.

I'm putting on my clean pajama. I'm going to sleep till evening.

Olga!

Why don't you come to bed?

It's Sunday. Leave everything as it is.

Why does she want to know if we're expecting a baby? What does she care?

It's a hard time to have kids!

Damn it.

There she is again.

I realized that I forgot something inside the chest.

- Aunt! - What is it?

- Mothballs? - Careful. - How come they're on the ground?

I put them inside, while you throw them away.

- Did you move the corbel? - Yes, it's better there.

You didn't like how I put it, right?!

Since I'm here, I'll do another thing.

I'll remove the coverlet's quilt.

So I can wash it.

I'm putting the wool quilt tomorrow.

- Did you eat anything good today? - Damn it.

I cooked some stockfish.

And polenta.

- You still didn't tell me what you had. - Fried liver.

- God! On the eve? - What eve? It's Sunday.

It's Saints' Day tomorrow.

That's why you should fast today.

- Dear Ottavio! - Dear aunt!

So?

What?

Give me a nephew!

Don't you want to give a nephew to aunt Bice?

- Before I die. - Come on, aunt!

Dear aunt. Fine, let's be frank.

I was counting on a promotion and a salary increase.

Did it happen? No! You know why?

- Because the Monsignor thinks we're rich. - Ottavio! - Goddammit!

We'll have a baby when we wish.

We're free to decide.

I think it's clear now.

- Good! Nice words you said. - Who's he angry at?

- Who's he angry at? - Nobody. He's a bit angry today.

Did I say something wrong?!

He upsets me.

- Be careful, aunt! - Damn it, the mothballs.

Your Calabrian ancestry is obvious.

Why being so angry at the aunt?

- I warn you! It shouldn't happen again. - Fine. As you wish, sweetheart.

Certainly.

Naked?

Yes, as my mother bore me.

- Again? - Yes.

- Are you an Orangutan?! - Yes.

No, don't open it.

Olga!

I brought you some polenta for tonight.

Ottavio! Already gone to church?

Listen Ottavio! I have a very serious doubt.

Are you and Olga perhaps using any contraception method?

No way, aunt.

Religion is against contraception.

It's trouble.

No, don't worry. We're using the Ogino–Knaus Method.

Who's Gino?

- Gino what? - Ogino–Knaus. It's a rule cited by the Church.

I don't prefer talking about this stuff by the window.

Every contraception method is sinful, contrary and mortal.

- We don't tolerate Bolshevik praxis. - Don't shout!

It's your fault that I didn't get a raise.

We don't have the means to support the household expenses.

That's why no children!

Worse than a blasphemy. I'll have Don Tiraboschi explain it in your face.

How can you talk like that?! Cesare!

Who is this Mustapha that we took in our home?!

Put this bloody stick away, damn it. We'll discuss it later.

We'll talk with Don Tiraboschi and Father Giovanni, as you wish.

Put this stick away!

In fact, to verify the questionable lawfulness of the Ogino-Knaus Method,

they asked for the enlightened advice of the two aforementioned priests.

Unfortunately, the good priests - because of the generation gap -

had completely opposite opinions about the matter.

During a bad November day, it happened to aunt Bice

what usually happens to octogenarians in the beginning of winter.

What?!

Certainly.

I'm coming right away.

What did Olga say? Is it serious?

Yes. The worst is expected.

God forbid!

- ... Forbid. - I'm shocked.

Me too!

Olga!

My dear Olga. So?

- How is she? Is it serious? - The doctor.

- Doctor Scavolini. - Doctor, what do you say?

There's little to say now.

Be brave!

- Lift up your hearts! - Aunt!

Come on, be quick!

Stop! One moment!

Look what's happening to me! [NOTARY]

Damn it! I feel awful. You're both morons.

- Dad. Stop it! - Go away, both of you!

Mr. Cesare, mind your manners! Come on, let's talk about it.

- Is he mad? Throwing the chairs, banging the door. - Shut up, stupid. It's your fault.

It's a consequence of your rudeness and mischief to the aunt.

No, I tell you: It's a post-mortem blackmail.

A testament stating that inheritance shall be yours only when you have a baby.

- It's a typical post-mortem blackmail. There's little we can do. - Go away.

Don't overact!

- After many years of sacrifice. - We can still fix it.

We abandon Ogino method and we'll soon have a child.

There's no drama about it. We'll get the inheritance a few months later.

What's the fuss? Don't worry.

You're irresponsible. Murderers! Look what you did!

Hey, young man. Do your best!

I don't know what's with me tonight. I don't really get it.

Let's read.

I'm stunned.

Perhaps...

Perhaps it's the recent stress.

Let's hope so.

What do you mean?

It's the stress of these dull days for sure.

Also the portrait of your aunt in front.

It makes an impression on me.

I'll remove it tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Mr. Cesare, thinking that as soon as Olga got pregnant,

he'd immediately take her to the Notary

to prove him the fulfillment of the deceased's will,

and knowing that being wealthy now or after a few months

it's the same thing, 'cause one could easily borrow money,

he started to get into debt... as well as into trouble.

- There's no need to shout. - Are you crazy?

- You almost hurt me... - Don't act it out!

Meanwhile, during those days, Accountant Ottavio looked

less confident than Cesare. In fact, he was quite panicked.

# There's nobody like you #

# You're the only one in the world #

# In your deep eyes #

# I see much sadness #

# There's nobody like you #

# So shy and alone #

# If you're afraid of the world #

# Stay by my side #

# Tell me, my love #

# What could I do for you #

It's ready.

I'm not hungry.

Here I am! Sorry if I got late.

Cosy and warm in here.

Can't you guess why I got late? I was at the construction company.

I took the brochures of the garden they're building beyond the barrier.

Have a look, Ottavio.

The best thing is to not go into debt and pay cash.

What do you think? I pondered on it.

This way we avoid the interest.

We sell the apartments in Street Paleocapa.

Then, we buy a new and modern palace with the money.

I'll take a nice flat.

You take one, too.

Just next door. Yours shall be a bit larger, of course.

We have to consider that after the first kid,

more of them are expected.

Am I right?

Help! What's inside this roulade?

Pepper.

- I cooked it for Ottavio. - Why?

Does he like spicy food?!

Why so much pepper?

What's wrong?

May I know?

Olga!

Olga!

Hey! What's wrong with you two?

Olga! Why don't you talk?

Did you have a quarrel?

What is it with Ottavio?

- Ottavio is sick. - Sick?

He's sick and you put too much pepper in the food!

Olga.

Come on, tell me. What's with him?

I don't know, dad. Maybe a bit of exhaustion... who knows!

Please, dad!

- Dad! - No.

- Let me have a man-to-man talk with him. - Don't abash him.

- You have to be prudent. - So that's it.

- Okay, I got it now. - Please, dad. Very prudent.

Very prudent.

Mr. Cesare.

Come in!

You know what's wrong with me, don't you?

I have a complex. Angelotto's complex.

- You tell us, doctor. - Alright.

- So, you're the father-in-law. - Yes, doctor. - Don't worry.

- Your son-in-law is perfectly sound as a husband. - Stop. Repeat please!

He just had a small psychic shock,

when the responsibility for family's well-being was put totally on him.

Due to this he's suffering from the so-called Angelotto's complex.

Angelotto from Pistoia, a handsome medieval knight mentioned by Bandello.

Angelotto, charged with conspiracy,

was imprisoned by the Duchess of Pistoia's guards and condemned to death.

The Duchess saw him and got infatuated.

She promised to save his life if he made love to her for a night.

But it happened that Angelotto, although a great lover,

worried about saving his life, failed completely.

And the Duchess threw him out,

and decapitated him an hour prior to the arranged time.

- Is it clear? - Yes, it's clear to me.

It's clear, but this is not the point.

You should do something, doctor.

- There should be pills for cases like this! - Wait!

Listen to the doctor.

There's no need for pills. Absolutely not.

The young man must distract himself,

free his mind from the inheritance concern.

Doctor, don't you think that...

You should not anguish him with the thought of having a child as soon as possible.

Meanwhile, you shouldn't worry about proving your virility,

which is not in question.

Let time do its job. Spring will come.

Fresh air, tranquility, relax.

- This is what I advise. For a month or two. Okay? - Yes, okay.

Ottavio asked for 2-month off because of health reasons

and went with his wife to the mountain.

They were joyful and happy, even if they lived as brother and sister.

They never talked about the inheritance, not even indirectly,

waiting for the natural return of the spring.

Meanwhile, a Sunday morning...

Daddy! Ottavio, it's dad.

No! He recalls me the past, the complex shall be back. The cure shall fail!

- Don't exaggerate! - I don't want to meet him.

- Little Olga. - Sir! Aren't you getting off?

- No, I'm having another ride. - As you wish.

What's he doing?!

- Get off! - Ottavio, are you crazy? - Come on, get off!

What's with him now?

We have to be patient. We shouldn't mention it, otherwise we ruin everything.

Why? Still not...

- The Sacred Rota? It's a blasphemy to say that! - Yes, right.

I understand your bewilderment, but I guess there should be a pretext.

We should procreate and multiply, the Gospel says it.

If a sun-in-law doesn't comply with...

this postulate - if I'm correct Monsignor - he should be dismissed.

I guess the Sacred Rota explicitly states it. Doesn't it?

No!

No?!

I'll have you and your son-in-law transferred to the parish of Brescia.

I don't want to deal with people like you. Shame on you!

- Monsignor? - Please dad! Let me talk.

Monsignor, I'm talking with tears in my eyes. Look, I love that man,

but I have the right to become a mother.

Moreover, the inheritance would be lost.

Money down the drain... which will go to the church. You think it's fair?!

Better if I didn't let you talk. She's a bit distraught, Monsignor.

Our apologies! Goodbye.

Why did you say that?!

Those days were hard.

At the office, Mr. Cesare was doing his best

to avoid the transfer to the Parish of Brescia.

At home, there was a certain irritation which caused fights about nothing.

Ottavio, who had lost all his achieved importance,

had to go shopping and do some housework.

Until one day...

Olga!

Olga!

No more risk for us to get transferred.

Accountant Manzi put in a good word for us.

He's a real gentleman.

Even about the car crash. All is forgiven.

Come on, quick!

I invited him for lunch today.

Ottavio!

Get the table ready.

Bring the plates. Come on!

Strange! It has a hard taste for a French wine.

Maybe it's the vintage.

Yes, sure. It's the vintage. Same as with people.

It could be good or bad. Us, for instance.

The death of aunt Bice, – blessed be her soul –

misunderstandings at the office, and to top it all,

he gets sick and have us worried about him.

Now, dear Olga.

Take this.

- Do you know the custom? - Sure.

- Female! - Male!

Female!

You're the queen of the party!

We didn't need the game to prove it.

Very kind of you!

Long live!

Long live the queen of party!

To cut it short, they started to meet almost every evening,

even on holidays.

Television.

Chinese Stick Game.

Sometimes dinner out,

or to the amusement park.

When the newspapers announced the lunar eclipse,

they decided to have a meal at home,

and then go upstairs to watch the phenomenon.

But, when time came...

Here we are! Are you ready?

- There's hot coffee in the thermos. - Fine.

Dad, I'm chilled to the bone from this north wind.

- You guys go ahead. - Fine.

If you don't mind, we finish the game first. Then maybe I come, too.

Perfect! Let's go Ottavio.

Meanwhile, days passed by.

One Sunday, the family went for lunch out of the city.

No, dear Manzi. I'm sorry to contradict you.

You're right about the carp.

But not about the pike. The pike is a great deception.

Depends on how it's cooked.

However it's cooked, it tastes like blotting paper.

Exactly like blotting paper.

Olga!

What is it?

Ottavio, everything fine. Let's go home.

- I think it was the carp. - No way!

Come on! Maybe it wasn't that fresh.

- To the other side. You drive! - Okay.

Are you okay? To the doctor or at home?

At home. We call the doctor from there.

Hey, Cesare! What about me?

Hey, Sir!

Are you paying the bill?

How much?

Keep it.

ATTILIA'S HUSBAND

Let's go! He's coming.

Stop!

Thieves!

Stop!

Stop or I'll shoot!

directed by

Over there.

Are you sure you saw him?

Of course I did. Just for a moment, but I got a good look at him.

- That son of a bitch. - OK, got it.

Look who's here! My brother-in-law.

- Was it him? - No.

The stolen Alfa Romeo was found. Very damaged.

The hood was smashed. Axis, shaft and motor broken.

Owner: Gaetano Piccirilli, commander.

- Who is he? - Gaetano Piccirilli. Heart failure.

Poor him.

There, it's him.

Ettore Rossi, nicknamed Tantumergo.

Armed robbery. Murder attempt.

Misappropriation. Possession of stolen goods.

Burglary. Serious injuries.

- Are you sure it was him? - Absolutely.

The scumbag!

God, so many people around.

Did you start eating alone?

The man who eats alone.

Poor you.

Of course, Piazza Vittorio is very far.

But it's worth going. You know how cheap the artichokes?

Do you want one dipped in olive oil with pepper and salt?

Shall I clean it?

- Shall I clean it? - Whore!

Why do you behave like this? Excuse me for asking.

You hurt my eye. Is it black?

- Whore! - C'mon!

What'd I do?

Is it 'cause I came back at this hour?

You know there are so many people on the tram during the rush hour.

You even used to work on the tram during the rush hour.

You got a nice blow, huh?

You're not being nice.

Don't make me swear!

It's not about the blows.

Beat me as much as you like.

That's not what hurts me.

It's this unfounded jealousy of yours.

- That's why I want you to stay home. - Why did I speak?! Damn it.

But it's for not making you get caught by the police.

- Oh, the eye! - Poor you!

You're worried whether they catch me or not.

Tell me the truth.

Last time when I was away...

Look at me!

- Is it true you let someone in? - 'Twas the postman.

I offered him a glass of wine 'cause...

he brought me a letter from mom, saying that they were evicted.

It's good to have news from home.

Shame on you!

What's up?

What happened?

Nothing. We were discussing.

- Seemed like a beating. - No. Bye.

Bye.

Are you happy?

What will the neighbors think?

The woodentops! The woodentops are coming!

The woodentops are coming! The woodentops!

Flee, Ettore! Wait!

A spare T-shirt. Don't make me worry.

Be careful!

I tell you one thing: Be careful!

They're lookin' for Tantumergo.

- Where's Tantumergo? - That's not his name. It's Ettore Rossi.

- Where is he? - Outside of Rome.

Outside of Rome?! We have to inspect.

- Let us in. - There he is!

There he is! Stop!

My goodness!

Stop! Stop or I'll shoot!

So, first the Panther got smashed, now the flat tires of the Campagnola.

And you let him escape!

- Marshall, they looked like angry dogs. - Not angrier than me!

Where to catch him now?

Where to catch him?

Who knows where he's hiding!

That Tantumergo.

He's getting on my nerves. For three years.

Gigi!

Yes.

The woodentops are after me.

I thought I got off scot-free. It's safe here, right?

It's not the first time. Come!

It's fresh air in here. Breathe!

C'mon, breathe!

I don't want to, Gigi!

I'm in a bad mood.

Come in.

What is it, brigadier?

It's about the smuggling: "Identify the responsible". But there's a new fact.

The cigarette packs are full of sawdust.

Therefore: is it smuggling or aggravated fraud?

I've got other thoughts on my mind, brigadier.

Not now. Go!

Yes sir!

Brigadier Antuono!

At your command!

I need someone who has a way with women.

Anyone in your section?

Well, there was one. Umberto Codegato, Lance Corporal.

But, he's in punishment... for that same reason.

To the Special Section, at once!

The Marshall is looking for you.

I'd like to clarify the unpleasant misunderstanding

which brought to my undeserved punishment.

- The housekeeper... - Never mind.

Excuse me for insisting. The housekeeper Graziella Rubino

donated me the gold Catherine out of her own desire.

As she herself declared.

But she didn't know you were a cop... And that you were in undercover duty.

- Your duty was to give it back. - Well, I gave it back.

Fine. This is your chance to be part of the Special Section again.

At your command!

Codegato!

Every man has his weak spot.

And I think I know Tantumergo's.

Tantumergo?

A nickname he got for his first crime when he was 19.

A sacrilegious theft.

His weak spot is the wife.

This is your duty.

You should show to everyone,

- parterre and balconies - that you're close to her,

and she's okay with that.

I'm sure that he will come out as soon as he knows.

Once he stabbed a guy for this reason.

Okay? He'll be back if you're good enough.

If I'm right, of course.

Let us have a look at you. Better remove...

...the mustache. - Right.

If you allow me Mr. Marshall, I'd rather not remove the mustache.

Listen. In 1959, when the Major ordered me to remove them,

I had a certain decline in my appeal.

Well, keep it then.

Let's think about the disguise.

If you allow me Mr. Marshall, I'd choose a distinguished guy.

An unmarried accountant, side-parting hairstyle.

No. Nobody trusts distinguished people in that area.

- No side-parting? - And no accountant.

Pity!

Such a pity!

This is the house.

- What you doin' here? - We're from the municipality. Road repair.

The ground is OK. The problem is on top.

What are you doing? A subway?

Gimme the drill.

- That's the shovel. - My apologies!

- You usin' polite form? - Yes. Why?

- Good man. You should get going. - Do you have the injunction?

- What injunction? - Otherwise I won't move from here.

Do we have the injunction?

My bones are weak. The sun is good for me. I won't move. Damn it!

Let's start over here.

- In action. Go! - What?

- In action. Quick! - Yes sir.

- Don't stand at attention! - I'm sorry. - Be informal.

Hey you, lowborn. Look how one should behave with women.

We'll get eardrum rupture from this noise!

Excuse my disturb, madam.

I'm one of the maintenance workers.

Could we have some water for the mixture?

However, how they say...

The coincidence...

Yes!

Hey! Will you stop it?

Why aren't you married? You have a way with women.

'Cause they don't permit you until the 30s.

After the 30s you start reasoning.

You all eatin' the same stuff?!

Razor clams.

Like in the barracks.

Coincidence.

Move on!

What if I don't wanna?

What'd you do?

Another loss 2 to 0.

Sampdoria is having a hard time this season.

Someone here wants to be a Sampdoria fan.

Right?

Don't put your hand on my shoulder.

Right?

No. I don't like hands on me.

I'm talkin' to you.

- Come on, I told you I don't like hands on me. - Hey!

I don't want this hand on me!

Goddamnit!

Codegato, try to control yourself.

Cut it out. Okay?

# You know a lot about it #

# You don't know it well #

# But now enough #

Codegato! Move, be quick!

# You know a lot about it #

# You don't know it well #

You got the most beautiful voice, madam!

Really beautiful!

Pity that you can't cultivate it like you do with the garden.

Begonias, I guess.

Lover of flowers. Kindness of heart.

Tough cookie. The greater the pleasure to have it.

- Hey, they're stealing the driller! - After him. - Hey, you!

Where you going? Stop! Stop!

Here, look.

Women are such whores!

Don't plant the seed of doubt in your mind.

Attilia is a saint.

She'd not have married me if she were a saint.

Come on, kids. Let's team up.

- Who's playing the guard? - Not me! - Who's playing the thief? - Me!

The Marshall is angry as hell.

You'll go back to the community service brigade if we fail again today.

- Are you ready? - Yes sir!

Let's do it.

Oh God!

- Oh God! - What is it? Are you feeling sick?

- What happened? - Sunstroke, I guess. Let's take him in the shadow.

- In that house, quick. - No, take him at my home.

Go away.

Why not in my home? Do I have scabies?!

God! Why bring him here?!

I'm sorry, ma'am! He's sick.

- On the bed. - What happened?

Some fresh water, please. Let's make a compress.

- Sunstroke is very dangerous. - Be careful. The cover is new.

Put this newspaper under his feet.

Couldn't you take him to hospital? Why bring him here?

Stay as long as you can, if you want to be back in the Section.

And moreover, try not to behave improperly.

This way.

Let's go.

- Isn't it better take him to hospital? - I'll call a doctor. He, to a drugstore.

- Quick! It's matter of life and death. - Hey, you leavin' him here?

Look at him!

Wake up!

O God! He's dead!

Don't wanna be in trouble. I'm going too.

Where's my bag?

Where am I?

You felt sick.

A sunstroke.

Your friends are callin' a doctor.

How am I now?

- What do I know? Don't ask me. - Better?

Yes, better. Could you please stand up?

I'm not sure whether this is real,

or it's a dream.

Okay. Could you be so kind to stand up and go away?

Nice. Nice home. Congratulations.

I notice the woman's taste.

Well...

- Go away, for God's sake. - Are you driving me out?

- It's not kind of you. - It's not kind of you to insist on stayin' here.

- What now? You laughin'? - No, nothing. Sarcasm.

I thought my presence was not quite unwelcome.

I was lying to myself. I'm only a delusional.

As you can see, I'm going away.

No! You shouldn't leave. You're just a coward.

Speak if your feelings are sincere.

Who're you talkin' to?

Nothing. Talking to myself. Like a stupid.

Be good. Go talk outside.

You're so pretty, Mrs. Attilia!

In bloom.

Who told you my name?

Be good. Get out.

A pretty woman like you could have no other name.

God, I feel weak. Again. Damn it.

Look, how to tell you?

It's that my husband is extremely jealous.

He beats you?

- Sure he beats me. - I'd never hit a woman. Not even with a flower stalk.

Jealous man, amorous man.

- Mrs. Attilia. Could I ask you a question that may seem a bit bold? - No.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

You don't have to answer now. You should think about it,

before making me happy or sad. I'm not in a hurry.

- I am! I'll call the police if you don't go. - That's a good one.

Okay, I'm going. I'll show you!

- Who is it? - It's Cleofe.

Shall I stay in bed?

You crazy?!

Hi Attilia. I brought you the flour that you lend me the other day. Many...

... thanks!

He's one of the bricklayers workin' in the road.

Poor him! He felt sick. A sunstroke.

- He's feeling better now. He goin' away. - I see.

Bye.

Bye Cleofe.

You should go now that you're feelin' better.

Oh God!

Cleofe!

Cleofe!

Are you dumb?

Who knows what she'll think!

Are you tryin' to ruin me?

I thought I should hide for not putting you at risk.

I'm sorry if I did wrong. I'm going.

You can't go out like this! Wait, I'll help you clean.

No, don't bother. Let me do it.

I'll do it.

I'm really sorry.

Attilia, you look so pretty when you're thoughtful.

Can I call you Attilia?

- Attilia, I have to confess you something terrible. - What wrongs did I do?!

Go away! Go away! I beg you!

The sunstroke was not real. It was just a trick to get in your home.

One can't tell the heart what to do!

I understand your disgrace... 'cause a pretty woman like you,

hanging around with a road worker... Doesn't happen often.

But I wasn't born a road worker. I was in university.

So, the sunstroke was not real?

I'd be an accountant by now. I studied accounting in Padua.

Are you an accountant?

The ups and downs of life.

I became orphan at young age and had to interrupt my studies.

Life's hard in Pordenone.

It's not the same for everyone.

As they say: The honest got no luck.

Then you accept what you are,

and struggle on like the beasts.

Forget about enjoying life...

Dear Umberto.

My name is Umberto. It's not even a nice one.

I also write poems.

What are you doing, Mrs. Attilia?

Crying?

- Life's so harsh! - What?

I said: Life's so harsh.

- You said that for me? - No.

I said it for me and my husband.

Want to blow your nose?

It's a great sin to shed tears from pretty eyes.

He was unlucky, too.

A wretched person.

- Want to see something? - Alright.

- Damn it. Look at that! - He assaulted me.

He'll beat me when he comes back.

They'll tell him you were here.

Maybe a clothes iron on my face.

Who cares!

I wish he killed me!

What kind of life is this?

Don't say that.

Don't fall in despair!

Are you sure Mrs. Cleofe will tell everything to your husband?

She'd have to know where he is.

Where is he?

But now... be kind and leave!

- You've been here for half an hour. - Half an hour?

Not bad at all.

It's very kind of you to feel something for me. I thank you so much!

But, I'm married. This isn't possible.

You're an accountant and you should understand.

Goodbye Mr. Umberto. The whole life is a sacrifice.

I wish you the best of luck!

- Also to you. - What're you doing?

It was a pleasure meeting you.

Attilia Rossi.

Pleasure's all mine! Umberto Codegato.

- The handkerchief! - No, you can keep it.

Thanks.

Are you okay? You look better now.

Try to look happy! The plan was successful. Everybody understood.

Let's go to the bar for a drink.

Our Casanova!

Well done! Let's go.

Brigadier, excuse me.

- Can I ask you something? - Sure.

- Can a Carabineer have a guilty conscience? - When in duty?

I'm sorry, I guess no.

- We need some Vov. Vov made of eggs. - True.

There's nothing better than Vov.

Nothing. Tantumergo hasn't showed up.

- Maybe nobody told him. - Maybe he escaped outside Rome.

- What do we do? - Wait for the dawn.

We inform the Marshall in an hour.

Yes?

Pass him to me. Quick!

Come in!

Hello.

Patrol car No.4?

Good. I mean bad!

The stake-out is over. Re-enter.

Nothing.

Tantumergo has vanished.

- He didn't fall for it, or... - Marshall, I think he got out of country.

- To Tunisia or Corsica. - Probably.

Go and gather the equipment.

- If there's anything left. - Yes sir.

Let's go guys.

- Marshall, I did my best. - Yes, it's okay.

- Okay, Codegato. Go. - At your command.

- Codegato? - Yes sir.

You did your best.

- Well, how did it go? - Marshall...

Are we going for it? Yes or no?

Yes.

No?

Yes or no?

The order was to play for the parterre and balconies. I did that.

And you tell me now?

It was complicated. I couldn't sleep all night.

You let the villain go away!

What'd you do? A slaughter? Use your brain.

I could get both of them. Now it's just Attilia to pay for it.

Don't make any mistake! You'll get 30 years!

- Tantumergo, don't go like that! - Why? - The jacket's mine.

He'll ruin his life. Couldn't you stay quiet?

That's the pact. He guards my wife when I'm in jail.

Eh you guys...

You're really wicked.

Why did you come back?

I brought you a small gift.

- I have to explain something, too. - What is it?

"You know too much".

Rita Pavone.

I'll call for help! You've already compromised me enough.

Exactly. That's why I'm back.

Attilia.

- I told you I was not a road worker, but an accountant. - So?

Well, it was a lie.

I was acting as a road worker

who was acting as an accountant working as a road worker.

But...

Listen, no problem. Just get out.

Then, I told another lie...

Which makes me feel more guilty.

When I said that I loved you.

- Well? - Acting. Bloody acting, even that.

But as the song says: "It's not my fault.

And silence will fall."

I'm Lance Corporal of the Carabineers. I lied, but because of my duty.

My motto: Forever faithful.

I furtively entered your home in disguise, to make your husband believe

that a self-styled road worker was flirting with you.

Make him come out and seize him.

Son of a bitch!

Madam, you shouldn't say unkind words.

Duty is an obligation. "It's not my fault.

- And silence will fall..." - "...Unauthorized".

Ettore, you look horrible!

I got lucky! I thought I was late.

- Flee! You know who he is? - I do. I also know you're shameless.

Don't talk to a woman like that.

Shut up, rat!

Mr. Tantumergo. I'm Lance Corporal, Special Service.

And I'm Captain of the Papal Swiss Guard!

I declare you under arrest. Stop!

Tantumergo is innocent. He's a real woodentop.

- He came here just to hunt you. I swear. - Shut up!

Badge of the Armed Forces. Careful, Mr. Rossi!

Resistance to police.

I'm on a special mission. Understand?

Careful what you do, Mr. Rossi. Last warning!

I finished the course in Anguillara. Black belt in Judo.

- No, Ettore! You'll ruin yourself! - Leave me!

O God, what happened?

Ettore! Holy mother! What are they doing to you?

Congratulations, Lance Corporal!

- Lance Corporal? So 'twas true. - I told you, wretched. Are you happy now?

Of course I'm happy.

It was a trick. I bet it was from the Marshall.

Attilia!

Attilia, you're right. You're a saint. Gigi was right.

Gigi, you were right. I fell for it.

Well, better this way. How come you're here?

I brought them. Better a few years than a life sentence.

Thanks, my friend.

- Thanks to you, too! What was your name? - Umberto Codegato.

- Let's go now. - Yes, let's go.

Thanks to everyone! Attilia, think about me!

- Think about me! - Ettore!

How many will he get?

Depends.

I guess 4 or 5 years for the written offence. Reducible.

Everything depends on my report to the Marshall.

What about the amnesty? Is there any hope?

They granted one a month ago.

They never realize that when they condemn a man,

they also condemn the woman.

I agree.

THE END