Original subtitles

(WIND BLOWS)

(BRAKES SQUEAL)

(HORN SOUNDS CONTINUOUSLY)

(Groaning)

SONG ON CAR RADIO: ♪ And I'm by myself again... ♪

(Girls laugh)

Asshole! Look out, Bozo.

(Girls laugh)

Hey. Hey. Hey! (Grunts)

Whoa!

Shut up, fag.

My frigging mates took my laptop. I'm talking about everything.

I've got 14 quality leads, baby.

Marriott. Yeah...no...

They're with Packard, bro. Hewlett-Pack...

Wake up. Oh, God.

Just get out of here.

Hey, uh...how much for the whole night, Grandma?

You should be so lucky.

Oooh. Hot for teacher! Oh, you little shit!

Goddamn!

Dude, you're late. I have to leave in a half-hour now.

Well, don't dillydally, then. Rack 'em.

“Don't dillydally.”

I'll dillydally round you, then go on over and grab that money.

(CRASH!)

Damn!

I mean, we've been going out for years.

And all of a sudden, bang! She drops me.

No, I'm not saying I ever had it,

but I've definitely lost it.

I mean, I used to be a model.

JCPenney. Spring wear.

Here, see?

Look, see?

It was one of my model things. Oh, yeah.

Alright, it might not look like it now.

That's 'cause I'm wearing work clothes,

so it doesn't really fit, you know.

But if I was wearing my modelling clothes, trust me.

I'd look like a model. Yeah, yeah. You're full of shit.

COACH: You know, Chach.

I take the rubble of man

and I build superstars.

Hey, hey, hey. Come on, man.

Fuck that shit.

I don't let brochures in here, man.

I mean, this guy, he gets an open tab all the time here.

Watch, watch, watch.

Amen, brother Ben Shot a rooster, killed a hen.

Now, that's Hollywood talk. That's showbiz, brother.

If you change your mind.

You're going to hang around a while, that's great.

But you've got to move your truck. Yeah, I know. I hear you.

BEER GUY: Keep forgetting.

This place is hopping.

Oh, no. Oh, listen. Your money can't buy shit here, Sarge.

Well, thank you.

Where are you heading? I'm going home.

Yeah? I'll go home, kiss my wife.

Be back on the front line as soon as they'll have me.

That's truly righteous, man.

You don't know my wife.

(Bartender laughs)

Evening. (splutters)

(Coughs) I was, uh... I was just looking for you.

Nip it, shit-box.

You dropped off the beer. Now, take a hike.

OK. Hang on, hang on! Hang on.

(Sighs) Oh, man.

(splutters) Uh...dirtweed. (Coughs)

Rum and Coke...without the Coke.

Keep it. Not from around here, are you?

What gave me away?

You have all your teeth.

Can I buy you a drink? Yeah.

I'm off in five.

(Sighs)

Whiskey shooter, please.

BLARTEMDERZ: Which tab?

Mine.

Hey, watch it there, buddy.

Jeez, dude. I'm playing a game.

Well, so am I.

Yeah, mine's for real money, though.

That’s all she wrote.

What the fuck?! Oh!

That's a rough one. That is fucking impossible.

Hey, don't get your panties in a bunch.

Want to go again? Goddammit, no!

Oh, come on. Crape diem!

Fucking pussy. Anybody want a go?

(TOY SQUEAKS)

Mom, when are we going home?

(Bossman coughs)

After my meeting.

BOSSMAN: Come on, baby. Let's rock'n'roll.

OK. You know the drill.

Keep these on.

BOSSMAN: Come on. I can't do this by myself, honey.

Now!

BARTENDER: Come on. I'll take you to your car.

Not tonight. I have an escort.

18 bucks, pal.

(Scoffs)

I guess I'll hold on to this, huh?

(Clears throat)

(Grunts)

(CRASH!) Ah, shit!

BEER GUY: Shit. Shit!

(FAINT THUMPING ABOVE)

(Laughs)

Oh! (Groans)

Damn, baby. Act like you feel it.

Ah!

Oooh! (Laughs)

You're on fire!

Hey, uh...you boys want to try your luck with the loot?

Come on. Hey, I'll use one arm.

Nothing but a bunch of limp dicks and pussies in here!

Hey, hey, hey, hey. You shut the fuck up.

Now, get out. No, you shut up, old man.

(Shouts) Come on!

Gimme some action!

Who the fuck are you?

Unless you people want to die,

you'll do what I say and you'll do it fast.

(Grunts) Mine's bigger than yours.

(Cocks gun)

Listen to me.

A storm of hell is coming down on this place any second.

I don't know what they are.

I don't know where they came from.

All I do know is that these fuckers are fast, nasty, and hungry.

And there's four of them.

They've got claws like Ginsu knives and more teeth than a chainsaw.

They're coming. Right now.

So, we've got to lock this bar down.

That means doors, windows, drains and zippers and we've got to do it fast.

You. Get a phone.

Call the cops, National Guard, townies, anybody who kicks ass,

and get them out here.

Any questions? BARTENDER: Yeah.

Who the hell are you?

I'm the guy that's going to save your ass.

Arggh!

Fuck.

(GROWLING)

(Screams)

(Bartender screams)

(Bossman screams)

(Screams)

Get down!

(Whimpers)

Where is he?

Where's my husband?

(LOUD GROWLING)

Cody? Come here.

I want you to stay right here.

I want you to stay in this closet and do not move.

I don't care what you hear. Don't move!

(Gasps) (LOW GROWLING)

(Whimpers)

(LOUD GROWLING)

(Gasps)

(Beast screeches)

WOMAN: Help me, somebody.

(Vet groans)

(Beast growls)

(Woman shrieks)

(Beast snarls)

(Screams)

BOZO: Whoa!

(Beast squeals)

(Exclaims, continues firing)

(Groans)

(Screams)

(Screams)

(Harley Mom wails) (Beast chitters)

Is it gone?

Arggh! What the fuck?

Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck! Get this off me!

(Beast chitters)

(BULLET RICOCHETS)

(Screams)

Where’s that little fucker?

(Beast pants)

(Beast squeaks)

I got it! I got it!

We're OK.

(Beast roars outside)

Scratch that.

BARTENDER: Close the motherfucking shutters!

(Grunts)

(Beast squeals)

Arggh!

BOSSMAN: Arggh!

(Grunts) Goddamn you!

(THUMP!) F-f-fuck!

(Beast roars in distance)

(RECEIVER CLATTERS)

(Sighs)

Beer me.

Is it clear? Huh? What the fuck?

Is it clear down there?

Yeah, I think...l don't know.

I don't know, Boss. (Groans)

Is there a gun pointed at you?

No. No, I got the Judge, see?

Alright. Nobody moves down there - nobody!

(Bartender mutters) Shit.

Ow! Alright, goddammit. Who shot me?

Ow! Fuck! Who did it?

What are you idiots looking at? My goddamn foot's blown off here.

Who shot me?

Her fella. HEROINE: My husband.

Where is the sonofabitch?

He's dead.

What? What the f...?

What the fuck happened down here?

What? What?! Look, it wasn't me, alright?

It was this...fucking monster or something.

I didn't do nothing. One of their heads is over here.

Yeah, that's...

...that's definitely one for the wall.

Oh, my God. What is that thing?

HEROINE: I-I-I have... I don't know.

I don't even know how I got here, OK? They were so fast.

That head used to be attached to some huge, twisted body,

like a rotting jackal or something, like something out of a nightmare.

Of all the bars to be stuck in...

Anything else?

HEROINE: Yeah. We need to lock this place down completely.

Is everybody downstairs? My son. My son's upstairs!

Cody! Wait, Stop her!

Cody!

Cody? (SODS)

(Tuffy subs) Oh, God, no.

Mommy?

Cody?

I'm never going to let you... let you be alone again.

Alright, look. We've got to lock this place up.

Come here. Are you OK? Yeah?

I'm so sorry. I'm never going to let you...

(Beast shrieks) (All scream)

Aaah!

(Beast screams)

(Screams) No:

Arggh! Get it off me!

(Beast roars)

(Screams)

No! Noooo!

(Sobs) No! No! (Beasts growl below)

(Coughs)

(Tuffy sobs) No!

No!

No! (Sobs)

(Subs) No!

(Beer Guy retches)

BOSSMAN: Oh, God!

Somebody help me, man!

(Groans)

It's burning, man!

Shit! He shit all over me, man.

BARTENDER: Come on in. We've got a sink in here. Come on.

Where'd he go, man? Alright. (Groans)

(Retches) God!

(Cries)

(Cries)

Was that the only phone?

What about cell phones?

This is canyon country, honey. It ain't going to happen.

Well, we've got to have something here, right?

Just relax.

I've got a short-wave radio.

Except it's...upstairs there somewhere.

This is bullshit.

What did you say to me?

I didn't say anything, Flo. (Beer Guy groans)

Fuck!

BARTENDER: How are you doing, buddy? You holding up?

Bad! I'm doing bad! Fuck!

It's green. Yeah, I know.

You got any more water pressure? No, that's all.

Oh, fuck! God, your sink sucks!

(Groans) Oh, fuck.

Something's up my nose, man.

Can you...can you finger it?

Just calm down, you goddamn pussy. You're alright.

I've got to go to the hospital, man. I've got to fucking leave, man.

Arggh! I need a doctor, man.

Arggh! I'm out of here.

I'm going to the hospital, get my truck, going.

Just calm down. No, you calm down.

(Shouts)

You can risk your life, but not mine. My daughter is out there waiting for me.

I have just as much reason to get out of this place as you do,

but I also have the common fucking sense to know

that staying alive means being in here and not out there.

Do you understand?

(Shouts) Do you understand me? Yeah, yeah. Got you. Got you.

Now, pull that tough-guy shit again,

I will slice you from your neck to your nuts.

This is bullshit, man. You can't keep me here.

You fuckers can't keep me here, man. This is bullshit!

This is fucking bullshit!

It's bullshit, man.

Fuck this.

I'll get this shit off of me myself!

Act like you've had some.

Oh, I've had some, baby. I haven't.

(Sighs) oh, God.

(Laughs) That's going to stain.

(THUMP!)

We can't risk letting them in.

Have they left? it's quiet.

HOT WHEELS: No, they're still out there.

They're just listening to us.

BOZO: We've got to start clearing these bodies up.

Jesus Christ.

Oh, shit! Fuck! Come on! Come on!

Easy, bud. it's just a death rattle.

He's gone. He just ain't done moving yet.

Let's wrap them up in tablecloths and dump them in the basement.

Alright?

Yeah.

Alright?

Alright. Let's lock this place down.

(Tuffy cries)

BOZO: Boo! Whoa! Shit.

(RATTLING)

(Beast snarls)

BEER GUY: It's hungry again. It's going to eat us!

Just calm down, OK? We have to kill this thing.

(Beast snarls)

Fire in the hole.

(Beast shrieks)

(Beast mewls feebly)

(SILENCE)

How do you like that, you little bastard?

Ow!

God bless guns.

Arggh!

Arggh! Arggh! Arggh!

(Screams) Get this fucking thing off me!

Fucker!

(Beast screams)

(Groans)

(Beast falls silent)

(Pants)

Are you OK?

HONEY PIE: Jeez.

It look all that? All those bullets?

That's the little one?! We can't kill these things. No way!

Look, we have to fight these things.

We just have to be clever about this, OK?

Maybe we don't need to fight them at all.

Yeah. Why don't we just call them names?

Fucking genius.

We're stuck here. I can see this.

But what we need to do is think outside the box.

We don't need to fight them. We need to scare them.

We need to scare them back.

This...

...is a species stand-off.

We just need to show them that we are not vulnerable,

that we are formidable.

How?

I need a stick.

Open up that ice chest.

Goddamn.

Oh, shit.

Alright, give me some room.

That's gross. How old do you think that thing is?

COACH: Alright. Take one of the planks off the window.

HEROINE: No way. Just one board. One minute.

It'll save your lives. Just trust me.

No.

One board. One minute. Home free.

OK. Make it quick.

You ready? COACH: Yeah.

What? Wait. Wh-what are you doing?

Showing superiority. The scent of their dead may drive them back.

(Grunts)

You seen them?

Is there, like, a call or something?

Come on, you monkey motherfuckers!

Come on!

You can't fuck with man!

Sweet.

(Beast growls) Whoa!

(Heroine gasps) Whoa!

HEROINE: There's two of them.

(Beasts growl softly)

HEROINE: it's like they're wearing dead animals or something.

(Beasts Screech, growl)

Hey, it's working. You're a genius.

See? What did I tell you? HEROINE: Wait.

There's a third.

It's like a family. It's a goddamn family.

We just killed their baby.

(Beast screeches)

(SQUELCHING)

Holy shit. She ate it.

She didn't even chew it, man. She just swallowed it.

Oh, dear.

What? What's he doing?

They're humping!

(Beasts grunt) (CAR ALARM SQUEALS)

Oh, man. The monsters are doing it doggie-style.

Monster sex.

(Presses button) (CAR ALARM STOPS)

Where are you going, Boss? You be careful, Boss.

(Beast grunts) (SQUELCHING)

HEROINE: What is that?

BEER GUY: Dude, it took a dump.

HEROINE: No. it's moving, stupid.

(Bossman grunts)

Spread out.

(Beast squeaks)

BOSSMAN: God almighty! More of the little bastards.

(Beasts squeak)

(Beast roars)

Any more ideas, Animal Planet?

I was just being proactive.

BARTENDER: Hey, dipshit. I didn't see you working, did I?

Oh, go douche, grandpa.

Well, what now? Huh?

We're stuck in here, that's what.

If you don't mind me asking, how did you run into these things?

We dropped our daughter off at my mom's house.

My little girl, Charlie. My baby.

It was only for the night.

And suddenly...we hit it.

We lost control of the car. (TYRES SCREECH)

It spun and flipped.

And l...l was thrown from the car.

Its head was in the road.

That's when they came. (Beasts roar)

it's road-kill revenge.

I'd like to be the first to thank you and your dead husband

for dragging this fuckfest into my tavern.

The only thing we brought here was a heads-up that saved your ass.

This is not my fault.

You pissed off the wrong clan, lady.

Maybe all they want is you. (Cocks gun)

Maybe all they want is the person that ran over their old grandaddy in a car.

And maybe they can have you on a silver platter, apple in fucking mouth.

You should have thought of that before we killed their child

and stuck it outside on a pike.

No need to get menstrual.

That was a dumb fucking idea, man.

Ow, shit! Fuck!

What the fuck's happening, man? What the fuck is this shit?

Well, just don't touch it, OK? Leave it alone. You're making it worse.

You tell me to leave it alone?

You get puked on by a monster, and you tell me how that feels, huh?

I'm rotting here, and nobody could give a shit!

I'm dying, alright?!

I'm fucking dying!

I am uppercase fucked!

You don't give a shit, man!

You don't give a shit either.

All you guys don't fucking care about me.

I don't care. Go suffer somewhere else.

Get the fuck away from me.

(Groans)

God! Fuck, that hurts!

Look, somebody's got to know something about this.

This stuff doesn't just happen out of the blue.

You.

GRANDMA: What?

BOZO: You know something. GRANDMA: Huh?

Yeah. You're old. You've seen things.

I don't know a thing.

Easy, cowboy... Hey, back off me, whitey.

I'm interrogating her. She's old. Old people know things.

Like...legends and tall tales and shit.

No. No, not really. I don't know anything... (Mumbles)

Come on. Spill it. Spill it or I'll get rough.

I don't know anything. Why don't you ask him? He's old.

Start digging. Ah, shit.

Back off. She doesn't know anything.

Yeah. Allegedly.

It doesn't matter where they fucking came from. They're here.

Either we kill them or they kill us. That's it.

Hey, no offence, Xena...

...but by the way things are going, it looks like we need another chief.

Somebody that knows the lay of the land.

Somebody with a little moxie.

Somebody like myself.

(Scoffs softly)

(Beasts growl in distance)

BEER GUY: Hey. (Softly) Careful...

Yeah. I think we're going to be alright. I think we're going to be OK, guys.

(Beer Guy gasps, Gurgles)

Ugh!

Ugh! Oh!

Yeah. I think we're going to be alright.

Yeah, this is just some leaky barrel, radiation, toxic dump waste,

enviro-crap, freak-beast accident that crawled out of the sewer, man.

That's all this is. We're going to be alright.

And the experts - they're going to be showing up any minute

to fix this up, you know?

Some of those green guys.

Those guys with the real can-do attitude and the tanks and M16s and torpedoes.

Hey! Can you just give it a break?

Those guys are en route.

You hear them?

They're coming.

I wouldn't do that if I were you. Yeah. Be careful.

I don't see a thing. I can't see a thing.

(Beast screeches)

(Beer Guy yells)

(Screams)

(Beast roars)

Give me my eye back!

Oh! Arggh! (Beast growls)

(Screams)

(Beast growls, screeches)

Arggh!

Jeez!

Oh...

(Laughs)

Oh.

HEROINE: Does everyone agree that the monsters are still out there?

Huh, chief?

Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.

I have some sweats behind the bar, in a...in a bag.

(Clears throat) Th-thank you.

(Beasts growl in distance)

They coordinated that strike. Yeah, I know.

I'm going to need more shells.

BARTENDER: Yeah, tell me about it, missy.

A .45's got six shots.

I've got two refills. (Sighs)

In a locker in the basement, I've got...

(THUMP!)

(Beast screeches nearby)

...I've got, uh, maybe some more shells.

(Grandma whimpers)

Jeez…

And...

...I've got this.

(Beast growls) (THUMPING)

Shit...

Honey, why don't you just... leave the offence to us?

You need a whole lot more than that to get out of here alive.

Oh, now you've got something to say.

GRANDMA: You young 'uns. You worry about weapons.

I'm thinking strategy. Oh! And what's that?

Sit still and look less like a meal.

That's for bears and sharks, chunky chew.

How do you tolerate him?

Uh, he's an ass, but he's my brother.

I've stood everywhere. Nothing.

Uh, didn't you say you had a radio?

Upstairs. Back of my closet. Little sliding door.

(FAINT THUMP)

Channel 9's the emergency frequency.

Have fun.

Alright. I'm going to go to the basement for supplies.

And you...you're going upstairs.

(Laughs)

U-uh, let's not get carried away.

Step up, chief. Ain't you got a pair?

Watch it.

Yeah.

OK, yeah. Shotgun.

Alright, partner. You're coming with me.

Whoa! Wait, wait, wait. I don't know about that, bub.

I mean, I ain't exactly no Billy the Kid.

Yeah, but you're slow. And that's helpful. Just stay close.

Who else is coming?

I'll go with you.

What are you going to do? Throw your teeth at them?

Just...sit down, Cocoon.

BOZO: You. You're coming with me.

(THUMPING) (Beast shrieks)

Keys.

You're locked in. These two will be on the other side, waiting for you.

If you become food, I don't want a set of keys in the belly of one of those things.

(Scoffs) Don't get your hopes up.

HEROINE: Alright. Any volunteers for the basement?

I'll go.

(Beast growls in distance)

(THUMPING) (Beast growls)

(FLOORBOARDS SQUEAK)

(FLOORBOARDS SQUEAK ABOVE)

Alright, I don't want to hear any of this “Where's the key? What key?

"I dropped the key.”

When I want out, I want out, OK?

You just find that fucking radio. We'll get you out.

We've got your front, bro.

“We've got your back.” “We've got your back.”

(FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS)

(GLASS SHATTERS IN DISTANCE) (Beasts growl)

Shit.

OK.

You keep them handy. You wish me luck, girls.

Alright.

(TIMBER CRACKS)

BOZO: I'm OK! I'm OK!

(Pants) I'm OK! I'm OK!

(Softly) I'm OK.

I'm OK.

(Beast squeals in distance)

(FAINT THUMPING NEARBY)

(THUMPING) (Beast roars in distance)

(Beast growls nearby) (Pants)

(Softly) Come on. Just breathe.

Just breathe. (Exhales)

Come on.

Come on.

(Pants)

(Exclaims)

Come on.

Just breathe.

(Exclaims)

(FLOORBOARDS CREAK)

(FLOORBOARDS CREAK ABOVE)

Easy. Easy.

(Bat squeals) (Bozo yells, fires)

(Whimpers, pants)

It's OK! It's just a bat.

It's just a bat.

Come on. Hurry up.

(Pants)

Come on, you motherfucker.

(Switches on radio)

(STATIC ON RADIO)

Hello? (STATIC)

Is anyone out there? Look, we need help at the Bear Tavern.

Send guns and tanks.

(FLOORBOARDS CREAK)

(Beast squeals)

(Screams)

I repeat! I repeat!

SOS! SOS! Calling all ca...!

(Beast growls)

(Beast squeals)

(Yells)

(Beast roars)

OK! I'm ready to come out!

(Thumps door) OK! I'm ready to come out now.

(CLICK!) Oh!

(FLOORBOARDS CREAK) “Oh”?

(Beast growls) What do you mean, “Oh”?

(Beast squeals in distance)

Help! Help!

Cheese and crackers. (Sighs)

(Beast roars) (TIMBER CRACKS)

Goddammit! Open up!

(Pants desperately) Come on!

The goddamn key busted.

Open! Help!

Goddammit, help!

Arggh! Oh! Ah!

Help! Open! (CRASH!)

(CRASH!) (Beast growls)

(Beast squeals)

(Beast squeals in agony)

Monster cook stuck in the door!

(SQUELCH!) (Grunts)

(Beast squeals)

(All scream in terror)

Oh! Fuck!

Help!

Ugh!

Shit.

(Bozo grunts) HOT WHEELS: Oh!

(Pants)

I thought that was it for a second, dude.

(Grunts) Hold me, brother.

What happened?

Papa Beast got neutered, missy.

Oh. Good one. (Sighs)

If they can't reproduce, then we're one step closer.

A big Step.

Now is the time to band together.

We need to rise up against these creatures of the night.

These monsters are no match for the human spirit.

We can do it.

We just need to believe in each other - believe in all of us.

We need to make a stand.

Right here, right now.

Dude.

Are you gay?

Look...those monsters were clawing those nails out upstairs.

They're like Mensa monsters.

BOSSMAN: Well, they're going to need a lot more than claws

to pop out these boards down here.

They'll need a crowbar or something.

(THUMP!) (Beast growls)

(Beasts squeal) (REPEATED THUMPING)

(Man exclaims)

(Beast growls)

(Bartender roars)

(Beast roars)

(Beast squeals)

(STRONG THUMPING)

(Beasts squeal, growl)

COACH: We've got to find a way out. Now.

Wait, wait. I have a really good idea.

OK, we could all run outside to our cars

and we could spread out in different directions.

That's a goddamn suicide trip. No, but if we all stick together...

Hey, half of us can't run and one of us can't even walk, hon.

Hanging out isn't looking too much better. Even I can admit that.

Hey, hey. (Groans)

Hey, what about the basement hatch door?

What about it? Well, we...we could try...

(THUMP!) (Beast squeals)

That could be our...our escape.

The...the monsters don't know about it.

It's a...it's a...it's a...

...s- s-s...s-s-s-s...s-sec... secret hatch.

Oh, crap. Ohhh...

Has anyone got...lip balm...

...I can borrow?

Fucked up and stupid.

If we go out there, no matter how quiet or fast we are, we're dead.

But if we draw them to the other side of the bar, we've got a chance.

Do either of you have any, um... can of hair spray or anything?

Yeah, I do. In my purse. OK.

So you put in some household cleaner and some low-grade booze

and I think you've got yourself a distraction.

(THUMP!)

What about a car? Whose car is close?

You're going to climb through that hatch down there?

Yeah. My truck's the closest.

But there ain't no way it's going to haul the whole lot.

Well, is it gassed? Fully.

Four-door? Two.

How many fit? Six.

Max? Seven.

10. What?

Yeah, it's going to fit 10. 10 clowns couldn't fit in that truck.

Two of us go - one to drive, one to defend.

We back up to the bar and tear ass out of here.

Not good odds, missy.

Look, my daughter is waiting for me. I don't have a choice.

OK. I'm in.

No, ma'am.

It would be an honour to accompany you on this dangerous journey.

Alright.

You're not going to make it, hon. I'm sorry.

Sooner or later, that wall is coming down.

If we stay, we die.

Alright, what's the distraction?

Well, they want to eat us, right? Yeah.

(THUMP!) Let's give them something to eat.

(DOOR CREAKS)

(Bozo groans)

(Pants) Turn the lights on.

Which one? The boy or the girl?

The girl.

Catch. What is it?

Oh!

(Groans) Oh, God. (Pants)

(Grunts)

Alright. Firebomb is good to go.

This is simple. I plug in, she goes boom.

We're going to hell. Right to hell.

This chick is more useful dead than you are alive. Will you shut up?

Yeah, we just... run this cord upstairs there,

where we've been attacked twice already.

Then fucko and I drop her through a hole without making a sound

and trick the smartest creatures I've ever seen

into taking a bite out of her instead of us.

That's real simple.

Hey. I've already had my moment. How come I have to go upstairs again?

'Cause you're lucky.

You see those peanut barrels?

We line up some planks. When that wall comes down, we roll them out.

Just like 'Donkey Kong'.

Dipshit.

I-I don't believe in guns.

This isn't the time for political stands, hotshot.

This won't run out of ammo.

I want this back.

BOSSMAN: Hey.

Don't monkey with my stereo.

Yeah.

How does it feel?

Uh... OK.

Good. Do you mind if I take a look at it real quick?

No.

I'll try not to hurt you.

(Gasps) How does it look?

Uh... Is it getting better?

Maybe.

Is it healing up?

(Clears throat) I'm just going to go... swish out my mouth.

Is it getting better?

Yeah, it looks pretty good. OK.

(Coughs, gags) (Groans softly)

(Vomits)

Oh, G...

BOZO: You should be a nurse.

Thanks.

Can you mend a broken heart?

I wouldn't fuck you for practice.

(Laughs softly) Tease.

Asshole.

(Coughs)

(Groans softly)

(Beast growls in distance)

I bet this place is creepy in the daytime too.

Pull that chair down.

(Sprays)

Yah! Ah! Ah!

Yah! Yah! Yaaah!

Y ah! Yah!

Fucking monster.

Eee-yah! (GLASS SHATTERS)

(Beast growls)

(THUMP!)

BARTENDER: Up and over. TUFFY: OK.

You and I have a lot of similarities.

Strong. Resolute.

You need to be quiet.

I'm sorry. I talk when I get nervous.

I have a... Quiet.

Come on.

It's just that it's been a while since someone was horribly killed

and it seems like the opportune time for someone to get...offed.

What did I say? Quiet.

Sorry. I'll stop now.

(Thumps roof)

We're up.

(Bossman grunts)

Come on, you lazy bastard. I can't do it all.

(Grunts)

(SOFT THUMP) (Grunts)

(Beast roars nearby)

(Bossman stamps on floor)

(Taps ceiling)

(Groans)

Get on up there. Chop chop.

You go.

Get up there! (Grunts)

(Bozo groans)

(Both groan with exertion)

(All scream)

Holy shit! She's alive.

Help me.

No, she's not.

(Stamps twice)

(Honey Pie taps floor)

OK. Let's do this.

(Whimpers) Help me.

No. No! Get off!

Help me.

(Beast roars)

(Harley Mom screams)

Hey! BARTENDER: Oh, shit!

HOT WHEELS: Grab it!

Get the cord!

Sonofa... Get it, goddammit!

Come on, grab it, you dumb-ass! Grab it!

Uh... Get the goddamn thing. No!

Get it! Get the fucking thing! Get it!

(Groans)

(Gasps, wheezes)

God almighty!

BOSSMAN: Eugh! Come on, man!

Now!

Come on! God!

(Honey Pie gasps) Shit!

(Beasts howl in distance)

(CRASH!)

(Pants)

Great men will write about my bravery.

(Both grunt, pant)

Hey.

When we get downstairs...

...our story's the same, right?

Hey.

I could stick this in your mouth, get all dramatic and ask again,

but...what about if I just say please?

HEROINE: Keep going for the truck. I'll draw them away.

Hey! Over here!

(Both grunt)

Fucking monsters!

(Beast growls)

(Both shout and grunt)

(Bossman yells)

(KNDCKING)

BARTENDER: What are you doing?! TUFFY: She's out here. Help me.

HEROINE: I think he's going for the truck. I couldn't make it.

I think he made it. Let me in, quick!

TUFFY: She's out there. You've got to help me!

Stop! Stop!

BEER GUY: Stop! TUFFY: What are you doing?

They can't get in here. We agreed!

OK, just wait. Just calm down. Just take it easy!

Drop it! Drop it! OK.

Drop it! OK.

Please let me in. Hurry, please! They're coming!

(Both grunt)

(Yells)

(Bossman screams)

Open the fucking window or I'm going to fucking die!

Look, you're killing her!

Put the gun down, son. Don't let it in! We'll all die!

(Beast roars outside)

They got her. They got her.

Kid, back off! Getaway!

(Tuffy yells)

(Gurgles)

If you could stop trying to get people killed, that'd be great.

(Grunts)

You motherfucker!

You ain't got a chance without me, dumb-ass.

(Yens) (CRASH!)

(Chokes)

(Coughs)

(Pants)

(Bozo grunts, yells)

(Pants)

(Heroine screams) (Beasts roar)

(Bozo groans)

Now we've both got a secret, don't we?

Hey, she's outside. We've got to get her out of there. Come on.

BOSSMAN: She ain't coming back. What?

She's gone.

What happened?

(Beasts squeal outside)

They got her, that's all.

(Gasps) We tried.

That's it. That's the fucking end of it.

(Weakly) That's the fucking... end of it.

(Moans)

Oh! Fuck.

(Bossman groans)

(Beasts growl in distance)

Yeah.

(SHELLS SCATTER) Oh, fuck it.

(Grunts)

TUFFY: Hey, you guys.

Our plan is...is good, and that truck is coming.

And if we all just stick together, we...

Hey!

If anyone has a right to have a complete meltdown right now, it's me!

But right now, I don't have the time,

because right now, you morose motherfuckers

are going to get off your ass and get ready to roll.

'Cause if those things are going to fuck with us,

we're going to fuck with them right back.

Now, who's with me?

BOSSMAN: Yeah, y'all go ahead and make a run for it.

Make it happen. Just convoy out of here and save the day.

(Chuckles) Me, I'm going to stay right here...

...wait for help, and, uh, limp out of here to safety.

(Laughs)

Y'all go ahead, though.

You...storm out of here,

make a bunch of racket.

They won't even notice me. (Chuckles)

They like food that moves.

(Yells)

On the tables, now!

Oh, Michael and Mary!

(Honey Pie screams)

(Screams)

(Screams)

(Screams)

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

(Yells)

(All scream)

HONEY PIE: Oh, God! Stop it!

Stop it! Stop it!

HOT WHEELS: Help! Help me!

(Women scream)

(Beast growls)

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

Stop it! Stop it!

Stop it! Stop! Calm down. Calm down.

(Sobs) Calm down.

(Wails) Stop it!

(Coach yells in distance) Bullshit!

(Pants) Fuck. He didn't make it.

COACH: Bullshit! Yes, he did.

No, he didn't! No, he didn't! Yes, he did! Yes, he did!

Yes, he did!

(Beasts growl)

(Whispers) No, he didn't. (Yells) No, he didn't!

Bullshit!

(SQUELCH!)

Oh! Arggh!

Fuck!

Those goddamn doors aren't going to fucking hold!

Plan B?

Hey! See this?

I want you to light this motherfucker and throw it.

When we get out of this shit, I'll personally take you to the hospital.

Don't fuck it up.

(Beast roars)

Oh!

They're coming.

We're going to die.

It's not going to hold!

(Bartender yells)

I can't... (Beast growls)

TUFFY: Look out!

It’s stuck.

BARTENDER: I can't... TUFFY: Get out of my way!

(Yells) OK, now!

(Tuffy and Bartender yell)

(Beast squeals, growls)

Get out of the way!

BOZO: Ready. One, two...

(Beast shrieks)

(Beast shrieks)

(THUMPING)

(Beast roars)

(Whimpers)

(Gasps)

(Shrieks)

She made mm

The piece of ass made it! Yes!

Come on!

(Laughs) Start it! Start it!

Start mm

(Sobs) Come on!

Come on. Come on!

(ENGINE STARTS)

Come on. Drive it like you stole it, baby. Come on!

Yes! Yes!

She's...she...

She's fucking leaving!

Huh. What'?!

She's leaving us?

Fuck!

Oh, God!

(CREAKING)

(Spits out dust)

(Beast bellows)

(Roars)

(Roars)

(Roars)

Hey, fuck-face!

(Shrieks)

(Yells)

Arggh!

Oh, fuck!

God!

(Beast shrieks)

BARTENDER: Arggh!

(Hot Wheels screams) God!

(Beast shrieks)

(Grunts)

(Beast shrieks)

(Yells) Help!

Oh, shit!

Arggh! (Beast shrieks)

(Shrieks)

(Yells)

Come on, motherfucker! Come on!

Come on, motherfucker! Come on!

(Shrieks in pain)

(Beast growls)

(Roars)

(Bozo and Bartender yell)

(Growls)

(TRIGGER CLICKS)

(Roars)

Arggh!

(Screams)

(Beast whim pars)

(Beast growls weakly)

BOZO: Gimme that! BARTHENDER: Arggh!

You having a fuckin' heart attack?

Are you kidding me?!

Get the bottle!

Get the bottle, old man!

(Bartender groans loudly)

(Tuffy yells in rage)

Drinks on me.

Arggh!

(Pants)

(Yells maniacally)

(Gasps loudly)

Yeah! Choke on it!

(Yells)

(CRUNCH!)

(Screams)

(Beast gurgles)

(Gasps)

(Beast gurgles feebly)

(Pants)

(Breathes heavily)

(Grunts)

You got it? Yeah.

Come on.

(Bozo grunts)

Come on. Open the door.

You know, her little girl's not far from here.

We'll get her?

What the fuck are you talking about?

Shut up.

(Bozo starts engine)

(ENGINE STALLS)

(ENGINE CRANKS FEEBLY)

(ENGINE CRANKS)

(ENGINE CRANKS)

(ENGINE STARTS)

(Beast roars)