Original subtitles

? Who's the improbable duo that you've heard about? ?

? Faster than a scooter stronger than metal ?

? Who's the little girl and her domesticated rodent? ?

? Who's still standing when you see the dust settle? ?

? It's Hamster ?

? Hamster and Gretel ?

? If they can't do it then nobody can ?

? Hamster ?

? Hamster and Gretel ?

? There's also Kevin in the minivan ?

Ahh!

Tell me the coordinates of those superheroes known as Hamster and Gretel.

I don't know where they are.

They just show up when there's trouble or destruction.

Then we will create trouble and destruction.

[screams]

Imagine if those boxers had something in them!

That would be terrible!

[Gretel] Seven, eight, nine.

"Lose a turn."

Oh! Snail feathers!

Snail feathers?

Are you feeling all right?

I'm fine. I've just been trying to mix things up with my vocabulary.

You know, find a new catchphrase.

Well, maybe try something less random.

You kids have fun.

I'm taking your dad to the mall to shop for some new glasses.

What? These were radical when I was in high school.

And you just proved my point.

[speaks Spanish]

See? Dad can change things up. Why can't I?

[cell phone buzzes]

Oh, no! There's a villain down at the waterfront.

Oh, fiddly wiggly winks.

Now you're just saying random syllables.

Bluke.

And now we will find some full boxes to destroy.

[tires screeching]

Okay, stop right there, you...

robots who look like us?

You guys are in big trouble.

For destruction and copyright infringement.

Silence, inferior flesh beings.

Our creator has sent us here to destroy you.

Your creator? Who's your creator?

None of your business, protein sack.

He combined your DNA with our cybernetic network.

So we possess all your powers and abilities.

Plus, we are really cool robots.

Hey, they made a robot, Kevin.

Get to work.

And... I'm a trash can.

We could not determine the random teenage boy's function,

so we assumed that he was a trash receptacle.

Oh, come on.

Nobody makes my brother into a trash can.

Huh?

I like your look, but my hamster wheel

isn't big enough for the two of us.

What the?

Hmm? [grunts]

The robots must have some sort of advanced AI

which allows them to anticipate your moves.

And they have missile launchers.

[straining]

And they have lasers.

[straining angrily]

[groans]

And they have a shark.

[screams]

[inaudible conversation]

I knew AI would make my job obsolete.

There's only one thing a hero can do at a time like this.

- Run? - Exactly.

[Robot Gretel] After them!

They're gaining on us.

Whoa!

Missile! Missile!

Steering doesn't do anything.

It makes me feel useful.

They can't see us in this dust. Get us out of here.

They cannot have gone far.

[Robot Kevin panting]

How can you be out of breath?

You are a robot.

If you were full of garbage, you would be tired, too.

We have lost them.

What will we do?

Our memory banks may contain a clue

as to their whereabouts.

Pause. Enlarge.

Cross referencing with motor vehicle database.

Found them.

I did good, didn't I?

- Pick that up. - [sighs sadly]

Ooh, look at all these glasses.

It almost makes me wish I had bad eyesight.

I love your ironically bland clothes,

but those glasses have gotten got to go.

We've got plenty of jagged and uncomfortable frames over here.

Ha! Ooh!

Mm-mm-mm.

[camera shutter clicks]

[camera shutter clicks]

- [laughs] - Mm-mm.

You're buying those.

Wait. Those are you!

- Well, you do love fruit. - We'll take them.

Splendid. Now you'll have to take an eye exam.

- No problem. - We'll use drops to dilate your pupils.

Drops... in my eyes?

Honey, you know, I'm afraid of drops.

I'll get one, too, just to show you there's nothing to be afraid of.

The drops won't hurt a bit, but for the next two hours,

everything you see will look like a giant blob of porridge

What's porridge?

Oatmeal from the 1800s.

Ooh, vintage.

[Robot Hamster] No sign of them in the kitchen.

Have you checked the bathroom?

I hear humans spend a lot of time in there.

Wait.

I'm detecting sonic vibrations.

Okay. I'm getting very sick of the vintage oatmeal.

I like that everything looks blurry.

It reminds me of our trip to London.

[British accent] Good day, mate.

I can't see you, because of all this blasted fog.

Mi amor, there you are.

Did you make your bed today?

Um... No.

Well, don't just stand there, go make it.

- Um... - And you know hamster isn't allowed on the floor.

Put him in his cage. Come on. [speaks Spanish]

And put a little more newspaper in here.

I want to be comfy.

Hey, buddy, I gotta fix the fridge, but they dilated my pupils,

so everything looks like vintage oatmeal.

You mean porridge?

Exactly.

Can you be my eyes?

Finally, someone who knows I'm more than just a garbage can.

Aw. We've got to work on that self-esteem, bud.

Whoa! That was totally moose bananas.

I'd keep working on the catchphrases.

The robots mentioned they had a creator.

Well, who would have access to technology like that?

Guys, we got a problem.

[Gretel] Uh...

I'm not sure what's going on in there,

but we've got to save Mom and Dad.

But they almost just beat you.

You can't go in there without a plan.

Here's the plan. We draw them away from the house

while you come up with a plan.

A plan to plan is not a plan.

You've been really helpful, son.

That is music to my audio receptors.

I am finally valued.

Wow, you've been working out?

Your muscles are like steel.

Sob. Thank you.

Why does your dad look like a drummer in an '80s cover band?

Midlife crisis?

My domicile has been sanitized.

And did you put away your laundry?

No.

Maternal unit.

I'm going outside to mow the lawn.

It's so nice when kids take initiative.

Here they come.

We have a plan.

Presently planning the planning part of the plan.

Anytime now.

[tires screeching]

Uh, this is kind of crazy, but maybe they have an on-off switch.

I see it. Hamster, Operation Shotput.

[grunting]

[Robot Hamster] No!

Bull's eye.

Ha ha ha ha.

You fools.

That button was just to give you hope and then take it away.

[Robot Hamster] Our creator thought of everything.

- Well, your Creator is a real jerk. - A brilliant jerk.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.

They've got us! Oh, horse hockey!

Horses do not play hockey.

That does not compute.

Gretel, not the best time for your new vernacular.

No, wait. It's exactly the time to be random.

Of course, robots can predict everything about you,

except the unpredictability of living creatures.

Hamster, Gretel, do the weirdest stuff you can think of.

I thought you'd never ask.

? Well, they look a lot like you ?

? And they know the kinds of things you do ?

? They've been programmed with your every move ?

? But they can also learn and improve ?

? When your foe is a computer you've got one defense ?

? It's the human capability to not make sense ?

? Be random ?

? That's a prescription for you ?

? Be random ?

? Do something you wouldn't do ?

? Be random ?

? Perform actions inexplicable ?

? The best thing you can be is unpredictable ?

? Now ?

? Stand in a bucket of lard ?

? Juggle things underwater ?

? Dig a hole in the yard ?

? While cosplaying an otter ?

? Have lunch with a manatee ?

? Potatoes au gratin ?

? Translate the Magna Carta ?

? Into pig Latin ?

? Be random ?

You couldn't just punch them?

Sometimes you just gotta hit someone with a street lamp.

And you were worried about being ordinary.

My favorite little weirdo.

I can't believe that actually worked.

We beat them.

Not all of them.

[all gasp]

I will just clean up this mess.

A kindly human taught me to love myself just the way I am.

[robots clattering]

[male voice] Hamster and Gretel.

You've learned much since our little adventure with the meteors.

Meteors? Mordros the Annihilator!

You created these robots.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Who's Mordros the Annihilator?

The big evil guy from space.

[Mordros] Silence, human.

I was certain that my cyborg copies of you would spell your doom.

But it appears I will have to deal with you myself.

And unlike these robots, I will not be so easily destroyed.

See you soon.

I will clean up this mess.

Tell my flesh father, I will never forget him.

That was scary.

They almost beat us.

Yeah, but they didn't.

Mordros' robots were powerful,

but humans are weird and funny and unpredictable,

with a spirit and a light inside of us-

Want me to throw you into space after him?

No. I was done.

A light inside of us that's not easily extinguished.

- Now I'm done. - I hope you're right, Kevin.

I hope you're right.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0