Original subtitles

Hurry, we'll be late!

Couldn't you hurry?

By your bunks! Roll call!

Trapper, under punishment.

Venison, on leave.

- What about this one? - Undervalue.

- Where is he? Undervalue! - But...

Sir!

Why can't you be present at roll call?

- Maréchal-des-log is, I... - I don't give a damn!

Things are looking up!

Investigation, tomorrow morning!

Shut up, Bourbouillou!

Hopeless fool! What are you doing...

- Nothing to report? - No, lieutenant.

Sergeant Flick's the name, and detention's my game.

- I told you to be careful. - It's not my fault. I slipped.

- I never slip. - As if you never slip...

Hey, you!

Where are you off to?

- Hurry, he's coming! - I can't go any faster.

- Put your leg over, quick! -I can't!

- Put it over, I said. - Easier said than done!

Climb up!

Come on, move!

What is it, this time?

La Guillaumette and Croquebol are missing. Now I have 'em!

They'll get detention for sure.

Come in!

Close that door!

Whaddya want? We're working!

- I'd like a broom, colonel. - Again? Whaddya do with them?

- Someone nicked mine. - We don't give a damn.

- Give me a broom, colonel. - Fall out! And quickly!

- What shall I use? - My nose!

- Four days of detention for you. - Things are looking up!

Still there? Get the hell out of here!

- What about the broom? - Sweep out of here!

Get the hell out!

What an idiot!

Attention!

At ease!

Bastards!

La Guillaumette and Croquebol spend the night out again?

Jumped the wall?

- Captain. - Hi.

Drinks, billiards, women... Nice job!

They should be in fine shape tomorrow!

What's with your "Ha-ha"? You find this humorous?

- But, captain... - What "captain"?

Go to the stables and see if I'm there. Fall out!

Get the hell out and quick. I can't stand that guy.

The mug on that guy... You know what? I'm too kind.

- Captain... - Eveyone takes me for a fool.

But all that's about to change. Do you hear me, damn it?

You're smoking? You must be joking!

Gimme a light...

I'm too kind. Too kind.

I don't wanna spend my life throwing it away,

while La Guillaumette and Croquebol treat me like a fool.

To think I granted them a leave 2 days ago. My ass!

Things are going to change.

From now on, only 24-hour leaves.

And not a minute more, Come in!

- Whaddya want? - I received a letter, captain.

My brother's getting married.

Another cuckold. So what?

- So, I came to ask you... - What?

... If you could be so kind, as to grant me an 8-day leave.

An 8-day leave! Turn around!

Turn around, I said. Another leave?

I'll let you see your brother,

but you're a pig. A pig, I say.

You'll get your 8-day leave. Give that lout his leave.

- You're most kind, captain. - Kind, all right.

Make sure you come back at the end of your leave,

- or You'll see what I'm made of! - Thank you, captain!

God speed, happy trails, fall out and get the hell out!

Did you see that?

As for La Guillaumette and Croquebol,

I wonder in what state they'll return.

May I be changed into an oil-powered tricycle

if they don't spend a month in jail, do you hear me?

You know, colonel...

In spite of what I said, don't be too hard on them.

Let's not confuse round with around...

Speed and celerity.

Don't get me wrong.

When La Guillaumette and Croquebol return,

I forbid you to make a decision unless I order you to do so.

Yes, captain.

- He's really a decent man. - For sure.

A man who rose from the ranks without leaving HQ.

Soldiers are in his blood like women can be under your skin.

- That loyalty cost him dearly. - How so?

- It cost him his promotion. - Still, he could become major.

- Major? - After the general's review.

- When? - If only we knew...

He never tells us. He'll come when we least expect him.

It's only a matter of time.

Kinda late to peel potatoes! Pick up the peelings, then.

- I've no broom. - Too bad!

- I went to get one, but... - I don't give a damn.

Things are looking up!

What's this clumsy oaf up to?

Sweeping with your hands?

- I've no broom, lieutenant. - Four days of detention.

Get a broom. What a pig.

Things are looking up!

Come in.

You again? Whaddya want?

Sergeant gave me 4 days and said I was a pig.

- He said the truth. - Do you think so?

Can I give you some advice? Give me a broom.

You again, about that broom?

You take care of the fodder. Go get changed.

- Changed into what? - Riding breeches and shirt.

- Riding breeches and shirt? - Yes. Are you deaf?

Oh! Riding breeches and shirt!

Isn't he the stupid type!

Idiot!

Out!

Hey!

But... What are you up to?

- You don't get it? - What a pinhead!

What's the easiest chore? Clean-up duty, right?

- Really? - So when is clean-up duty done?

- When there's no more garbage. - And?

This way, there's always garbage.

- You look stunned! - You pigs! Very clever!

Who's the imbecile who almost ran me over?

Come here. Where are you off to?

I'm assigned to fodder duty, lieutenant.

- Dressed like that? - Well, of course!

- Riding breeches and shirt. - Go put a jacket on.

- You'll sleep in detention. - But, the officer...

...doesn't know a thing.

Prisoner clothes for fodder duty?

- What? - Four more days of detention.

Things are looking up!

Vanderague!

Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod...

Hury up. Think you're artists?

- Artists, us? - We're hurrying.

No need to scream like a piglet in pain.

Lazy scoundrel. Lifeless oaf.

- Quit screaming. We're not deaf. - My eardrums hurt.

Fill up that water pitcher. Put coal in the stove.

I wasn't put on this earth to do that.

My mother didn't carry me 9 months to put coal in a stove.

Shut up! Or You'll get detention.

Why waste my grade school education to fill up pitchers?

- Lieutenant. - Who asked you?

You have no right to make us put coal in the stove.

- Shut up. - I'll write to the Minister.

Shut up, I said, or You'll get detention.

You won't get away with it.

- What are you waiting for? - Vanderague, lieutenant.

Oh, we're waiting for cavalryman Vanderague...

How charming.

Move, for God's sake.

There he is.

Come here, my friend.

Take your time. We're at your service.

Hello, lieutenant.

Do you think I spent 2 years in Saint-Cyr to wait on you?

What's with this uniform?

Why the jacket?

- The sergeant told me... - The sergeant, huh?

Four days of detention for cavalryman Vanderague.

No one carries fodder in uniform.

Vanderague!

Ohmigod, ohmigod...

What's the matter with this shirt...

Vanderague! We haven't got all day.

I'm coming!

You blockhead. How can you be so clumsy?

It's not that difficult. This is how you do it.

Is it that difficult?

- Yes! I mean no, captain. - Of course it isn't, dammit.

Captain!

Couldn't you be more careful?

- Come in. - Hello, Mr. Hurluret.

- I've brought your clothes. - Put 'em on my bed.

I've sewn your buttonholes, but your socks had too many holes.

- Soon You'll have better means. - Really? Why is that so?

Some say the general is about to name you major.

Yeah, major, admiral,

general, President of the Republic.

I know, I know. How much do I owe you?

Four and a half francs.

Here. Take 5.

And 4 francs for last time.

- Then here's 10 francs. - Thank you.

- Thank you, Mr. Hurluret. - Fine, fine.

Are you done fooling around?

- Where's my breakfast? - On the mantelpiece, captain.

What a moron...

Here's how you hold a boot. Like so...

By order of the captain in charge of the 2nd Squadron,

all 10-hour and theater leaves are granted,

24-hour leaves

and beyond are suspended until the return of...

- What's with the stuttering? - La Guillaumette and Croquebol.

After grooming horses,

all men will be sent to all living quarters to handle

- collective... - collective and individual cleaning chores.

Understood, you donkeys? At ease.

Tell me, colonel.

- Have these 2 rascals returned? - No, captain.

- If they're not back in 6 days, - they'll be declared AWOL.

Right... Right...

I'll be... You're smoking?

- Whaddya mean, smoking? - Put out those cigarettes.

Hey? Am I smoking?

- And you?

- Neither am I. - We're not smoking.

Is that right? You won't avoid disciplinary action, you bums.

- I've heard that one before. - This time You'll get it.

You'll see. Put out those cigarettes.

Quiet, dammit!

Why must I scream like a fool to make you shut up?

What's the matter, sergeant? What's all that screaming about?

Let me explain, captain.

As I was leaving the stables to head to the guard-house,

I caught them smoking. And here's proof...

What is it? Are you looking for something?

- Cigarette butts. - I don't see anything.

Perhaps you're standing on them.

Oh! I see. Perhaps you're standing on them.

- Us? - As if you couldn't.

- But captain... - Don't "captain" me!

Stand at attention!

Now let me tell you this.

I respect my duties and my soldiers respect me.

They're like my friends and sons,

but I hate stubborn types who give themselves airs.

Next time I catch you smoking, or standing on cigarette butts,

may I turn into a cream pie if you avoid disciplinary action.

Understood?

At ease.

Look at that...

Have you ever seen such hoodlums?

Scoundrels.

What are you doing, with your gaping mouths?

- We're doing our best. - Go clean the latrines.

We're always doing the latrines.

- Always the latrines. - Get moving.

Still some garbage? You'll get detention.

- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, we know: detention.

You'll see...

Come on, drink!

Drink.

One, two...

The reservists...

One, two. One, two...

Attention, halt!

Couldn't you be careful?

Cavalrymen, turn right. Right!

Line up, right!

Step to the right.

You! Where are you going? Stay where you are.

Pompous fool.

- Who are these people? - Reservists, lieutenant.

Reservists? Bugler! Call the colonel.

Bunch of fools. To the right, I said.

- What's all this? - Reservists, of course.

Reservists? Bernot!

- Colonel. - Reservists.

Reservists?

You! Why didn't you telegraph the time of your arrival?

I telegraphed lieutenant Mousseret.

I had to be warned, you fool. Where are they going to sleep?

- I've no idea. - Neither do I.

We have no beds or linen.

It's lieutenant Mousseret's mistake, let him handle it.

- Our new residents... - Indeed, lieutenant.

I wasn't warned, so I can't lodge them.

That's your problem.

- But you received a telegram. - I did?

- Dupont. - It's true, lieutenant.

- I received nothing. - And yet...

- You sent nothing! - But I swear...

Shut up! If you paid more attention to your work,

this wouldn't happen. Enough!

- Call the roll. - Yes, lieutenant.

Attention!

- Le Kerderec... - Here.

- Pier... - Here.

- Vidallnc... - Here.

- Vanderstrat... - Here.

- Labouldenne... - Here.

- Mailleux... - Here.

- Simon... - Here.

- Laval-Montbray... - Here.

- Montbourgade... - Here.

- Sinoquet... - Here.

Potiron...

Potiron?

Potiron's not here? Potiron?

What does he do in civilian life?

Butcher's assistant, lieutenant.

Any butcher's assistant here? Any Potiron here?

Going, going, gone!

Consider him missing, and add 4 days of detention.

Get these men into uniform.

Cavalrymen, right! Attention!

As you were!

Those are the reservists? Is this a joke, Mr. Mousseret?

Why wasn't I warned of their arrival?

- Where will we lodge them? - In the stables, captain.

- No?

No.

- You're the orderly officer? - Yes.

Do as you wish, Mr. Mousseret,

but if these men are not in their own bed by 8 PM,

You'll be put under arrest for 8 days.

Enough of that nonsense. Get these men into uniform.

Cavalrymen, right!

Forward, march!

One, two... One, two...

One, two... One, two...

- Tell the orderly officer. - Favret!

Lieutenant.

I spoke with the captain about the reservists.

And?

If these men are not in bed by final roll call,

You'll be confined for 8 days.

What? Did you think they'd sleep in my bunk?

- Bernot! - Yes.

- I've a solution for the beds. - What is it?

Get me 16 of 'em before dusk or you get 4 days of detention.

Where can I find 16 beds?

There you are. Do you like sleeping in detention?

Well, you will if you don't find me 16 beds in 15 minutes.

- For you alone? - No, you dope. For reservists.

- Four beds per barracks. - Four?

Come on, fall out!

Vanderague!

You're sweeping the yard with the stable's broom?

One night of confinement! And not a word!

Or you get 2 days of detention.

What are you doing?

- Me? Nothing. - Two days of detention,

for being so impertinent.

Stableman!

One day of detention.

For projecting a light in a higher-ranked official's face

with a mirror.

Laigrepin! You're getting one night of confinement.

What for?

For impersonating a crow while on duty.

When?

Last month, at the powder magazine,

Lévesque heard you go "Kwah-kwah". Enough!

"In accordance with the colonel's decision,

"after hearing about the imminent arrival of a...

- "... comet, the colonel..." - Corporal.

What's a comet?

A comet?

Don't interrupt me!

"... of a comet, the colonel thought it would be his duty

"to give his men a lecture on cos...

cosmo... ... cosmography... "

I"... about the nature of comets their course through space,

"their periodicity, etc. "

Corporal! Where do I go?

How should I know? What do you want?

- Who are you? - The butcher.

- What? - I work as a butcher.

- I'm here as reservist. - What's your name?

Potiron, whose nose is large as a chestnut.

Oh! So you're Potiron! Go see the colonel.

You'll get 4 days in the hole.

Only 4 days? That's not even enough time to catch a cold!

Don't be a wise guy, you could get more.

I'll see the colonel, first.

Reservist Potiron is in the barracks, lieutenant.

So he finally showed up. Thank you.

I'll go and meet him.

I'll teach him a few notions on punctuality, which is

the politeness of princes.

- Don't get so worked up! - You think I'm worked up?

- Four more days. - Eight, then.

- Plus 4 more, for 12. - I can add!

- The pigs may end up eating you! - Then I better get going!

I'll get my uniform.

- The cavalrymen... - Attention!

At ease. Is Potiron here?

He went to see the colonel, lieutenant.

- Who's in charge? - He is.

Hi, mate! I came to get my uniform.

What's your name?

Potiron, whose nose is big...

- Any news about Potiron? - He went to get his uniform.

- What's this on your head? - A hat.

Can't you see it's too small? Imbecile!

It's the biggest one they had!

Change it, or You'll get 8 days.

Eight days? Maybe a pail would fit better!

- Have you seen Potiron? - He went to get his uniform.

- Attention! - At ease!

- Is Potiron here? - He just left for the barracks.

Hi, guys!

So, kid. What's for lunch?

Beef and beans?

Well, let me tell you something.

Eating beef and beans is like eating nothing.

I'm off to the mess hall.

Why don't you come? Come on, guys!

Hi, kids!

Give 'em a drink! It's on me!

- Attention! - At ease!

- As anyone seen Potiron? - Yes, lieutenant.

- Where is he? - He just left fort he mess hall.

Beef with sorrel? Nothing doing!

I'm eating out!

Hey! Watch out for the orderly officer!

Thanks, buddy!

I'm already up to 8 days of confinement.

- Chasseur! - Lieutenant.

Do you know a reservist named Potiron?

- Potiron? - Yes, I've looked for an hour.

Oh! Potiron! We were together just now at the mess hall.

Fine, thank you.

- Potiron! - He just left, lieutenant.

Goddammit! Enough of this nonsense!

- Maréchal des log is! - Lieutenant.

- Arrest reservist Potiron. - Yes, lieutenant. Where is he?

Two days of confinement for your stupid question!

And 4 more, if he's not behind bars in 10 minutes. Find him!

Hello, Madame Bijou! Here's your head cheese.

- How much do I owe you? - Twelve francs.

- How expensive! - All's more expensive!

I'll take 2 sous' worth.

That's not for you. It's for officers.

Put it in a cool place, it's freshly made.

I'll put it on the windowsill.

Tell me...

Whaddya think of head cheese?

A slice of that is better than a kick in the...

Yes, sergeant, I'll bring you a slice.

It's still warm. Wait till you taste it!

I'll be...

I don't believe it.

- Lieutenant! - What?

Someone just nicked my head cheese.

What should I care? Look at that crazy woman and her head cheese!

Why don't you go... Tenderfoot! White-faced clown!

If I were your mother, you'd get a heck of a spanking!

I've seen everything!

What?

There are thieves in the squadron.

- You don't say. - My head cheese was just stolen.

That's not nice. If I knew who did this...

Why don't you look for him, or pray God you don't.

You're speaking nonsense, Madame Bijou.

Instead of sitting there, why don't you make a roll call?

Or search the men's duffel bags?

Stuff them all in a cell until the thief comes forward.

If only I wasn't a woman...

I'll make a fuss about it.

- What fuss? - You bet I will.

I'll write the colonel, tell him how things are.

I get robbed every single day.

Candles, tobacco, bread...

Two days ago it was sausages, and today it's head cheese.

I'm tired of this!

I'm sure it's Fricot and Laplotte.

I'll make sure they face the Council.

- Don't be silly. - You bet I will.

Five years of labor for 2 men, simply for head cheese?

- Absolutely. - You can't do that.

You know what, Edmond?

Don't you see how all this affects you?

You're too weak and too kind.

You're annoying me, Madame Bijou.

You didn't say that when we first met, 20 years ago.

You were a sergeant, and I sang at the Beuglant.

- You sang out of tune. - You were happy you found me,

and I didn't annoy you, then.

Isn't it true, huh?

- Is it true or not? - You don't have to scream!

It's not because we had a good time together,

that everyone has to know about it.

- So how much do you want? - My head cheese or 12 francs.

How pathetic,

to see an honest man paying for such low-life...

Giving away his own money, as if it was plentiful...

Here... I don't have a lot, but still...

Here.

- Take this. I owe you 1 sou. - I don't want that money.

- Why? - It's personal.

You're even more stubborn than your headcheese.

Look at you, calling me an idiot and acting like a bigger fool.

- Can't say you're wrong... - Let's split the difference.

Now make no mistake.

Don't kick up a fuss with the colonel.

- IT won't. - There you go.

- OK, then. - Goodbye, then.

Goodbye.

See you, old maid!

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Bravo!

Is she ever pretty!

Hey, Mimi! You'll put us all to sleep!

You better tie yourself, or You'll fly away!

Enough!

Here! For you!

Grab these!

Hey, buddies! May God bless you,

change you nose into a bump, and your chin like my rump.

I'll be right back, lieutenant.

For crying out loud... They're sleeping?

Get up, you bums. Fricot!

- Here! - Laplotte!

- He's taking a bath. - I'll show you better manners.

Get up, now! Quit taking me for a fool.

- We have to get up? - Yes.

- What for? - Because it's an order.

Who gave me such bums, who can't do anything better

than eat and sleep like kings.

Like kings?

- Talk about kings! - Enough!

- That's a good one. - Enough, I said.

- Why do you say we're kings? - Get up and make it snappy!

Why do we have to get up?

To break the ice in the troughs.

- No way. - I'd rather die.

- Barchetti! - Lieutenant.

These men offended me and I want you to testify against them.

I'm sorry, lieutenant,

but I can't testify for something I didn't witness.

But You'll vouch they refused to follow orders.

- Huh? - What?

- What are your saying? - Refusing orders?

- When? - Where?

- What about? - Did you refuse any order?

- Never. - Neither did I.

- You rotten liars. - We're not lying, lieutenant.

For the last time, are you refusing to get up?

Not at all, lieutenant.

In fact, we're eagerly getting up.

The maréchal-des-log is can attest to it.

You told us we could lie down because we felt a little sick.

It doesn't feel so warm, huh?

You may go, maréchal-des-log is.

- Hurry up, you fools. - With pleasure, lieutenant.

In fact, it's rather cold. We're going back to sleep.

Yeah, let's go. Come on.

Fine! Is that what you want? You'll be sorry you did this.

You won't get away with this, you fools.

Good evening, Pujol.

Tell me...

Any news on La Guillaumette and Croquebol?

No, captain.

Scoundrels...

- Look what they're serving us. - How can they give us such junk?

You call this meat?

Tell me it is, and I'll throw it in your face.

What's going on?

Look at what they're feeding us. This soup is disgusting.

I don't give a damn, it's for cavalrymen.

I'm dumping it. There you go.

This should fill me up. I needed it!

- Think I need it less than you? - Quit complaining!

That soup's not worth a damn.

- The officer's a sleaze. - So is the chef!

Four volunteers to break his face!

You're right, but don't make such a fuss about it.

- File a complaint. - To whom?

To the general, when he comes for his inspection.

That would be something!

But who'll tell him?

- Why don't you? - Why me?

I'll tell the general.

- You wouldn't dare! - I wouldn't?

And why wouldn't I? The general isn't God.

And even if he were, that wouldn't shut me up.

- Go on, you're interesting... - Oh, you find me interesting?

— Well, I'll tell the general. — The general?

The general.

Give him my regards, then.

Who's with me?

I am.

- So am |. - So am |.

As God is my witness, I always keep my word.

I can be trusted more than any officer.

- In that case we'll be 2. - We'll be 3.

- We'll be 4. - We'll be 5.

We'll be 6.

I don't know what you said, but we'll be 6.

We had such a great time last night.

I paid a round of drinks. Everyone placed his order.

So you're an actor, now?

Get down from there, dammit.

If it isn't Potiron...

- Why aren't you in detention? - I'm sick.

Sick? Go to the clinic, and if you're lying...

Hey! Don't overdo it!

- It's not our fault. - We were told to sweep.

- So, we're sweeping. - Well, just pretend.

Here's a motive for punishment that won't go unheard.

If Potiron doesn't get 8 days of detention,

may I be changed into a radiator.

Maybe he's in the mess hall.

Perhaps he is. Butsince he's never where I look,

I'd rather believe it than see it. I'm tired of all this.

If one day... in the near future...

perchance...

Providence finally grants me the privilege of meeting Potiron,

I'll have a word or two for him.

I can't stand that clown with his silly pillbox hat.

Small as a mustard seed, yet he farts like 12.

Pathetic.

- There's Potiron! - Hello, pencil pushers.

I need a paper for the infirmary.

You're sick?

Why the hell should you care? Yeah, I'm sick.

- What do you have? - Blood's gone down to my feet,

- from standing too much. - Poorslob!

It's true. Plus my skin's too tight. I can't open one eye,

without closing the other.

Can I see your tongue? Come on, stick it out.

Lemme see.

- Doesn't look good... - I smoked a pipeful of hay.

No kidding.

- Got any smokes? - Of course.

I'll take one.

Here you go, buddy.

- Thanks, fatso. - Now, I get it.

See you, pal.

Wait! It's too heavy.

So, my friend. Are you happy to be in service?

- Yup. - Yup?

You don't seem so nervous.

Isn't it fun to rejoin your friends?

Plus fresh air, and plenty of good food?

That's all true, captain. But I have a wife.

You're afraid to be cuckolded.

- I'm not worried. - Why not?

Why not?

- With a face like yours! - But I'm sure, Captain.

Don't be ridiculous. You wouldn't be the first.

Better cuckold than minister. It lasts longer.

I'd say so...

- Anything new? - No, captain.

- The 2 rascals? - Still missing.

Scoundrels...

Peplat. Fetch me 3 absinthes.

Yes, captain.

They're about to be declared AWOL.

- Who? - The 2 rascals.

- It's done. - What?

Of course, captain. Since last night.

You can be sure they won't get less than 2 years.

Why be so hasty?

Don't be so radical.

What difference does a few hours make, as long as they return?

Whether it's now or tomorrow morning doesn't matter.

- When did they leave? - Six full days ago, captain.

They're AWOL since yesterday. It was my decision.

And what does that decision say?

- What does it say? - Well... Nothing at all.

I can't read it. Someone spilled ink on it.

- Do I remind you of someone? - No, why?

You look like a chicken that's just seen a knife.

- But, captain... - Shut up.

- But... - Shut up.

You're getting rather familiar,

in a way I find inappropriate.

And those side way glances you throw at me,

for lost cigarette butts,

or ink-stained pages in the book of decisions,

unnerve me to the highest degree.

Don't forget in front of whom you're standing.

Consider yourself dismissed.

I can't stand that guy. It's true.

He did nothing to me, but I can't stand him.

Do you really think, colonel,

I'd be stupid enough

to spill some ink, to absolve 2 ruffians?

So it was you?

Yeah, it was.

We can't simply send 2 idiots to jail.

Son, you prepare absinthe like an ass, but it doesn't matter.

Here.

- Cheers. - Cheers, captain.

Well, son?

- Join us. - I'd be delighted, captain.

- Cheers. - Cheers, captain.

- Hello, gentlemen. - Attention.

The general...

At ease, at ease...

Come now, come now...

Let's not suffocate, here.

I beg your pardon, general.

Did the sight of me make you swallow the wrong way?

- We're old colleagues. - Yes, general.

Have a seat, colonel. Please do.

You as well, son.

I don't want to disturb anyone.

You were just having...

... an aperitif?

Yes, yes, general.

I see nothing wrong with that.

Forgive me for being shortsighted.

But...

-This is absinthe. - A single drop. For flavor.

Very well.

There's nothing harmful with absinthe.

- Nothing at all. - Providing, of course,

it's used sparingly.

Because overdoing it affects your nervous system,

- and can damage the brain. - Of course.

This is an exception, general. A rare occurrence.

Of course, of course.

And as far as it's possible...

... avoid drinking with lower-ranked officers.

It does not matter in the least,

but other men could come in, and that could be a shame.

Yes, but you know, general, this is exceptional.

I'm sure it is. Now let's have a look,

at today's schedule. Hand me the book of decisions.

Here it is, general.

Perfect...

- Nice penmanship. - Thank you, general.

- He's among the best, general. - I see...

Very well, my friend.

Tell me,

when you have a minute, why don't you get a haircut?

- Army standards. - Yes, general.

- I'm terribly sorry. - Now, now.

- I apologize. - Don't worry, captain,

it does not matter in the least.

We were saying...

Let's see...

"Decisions.

"Tuesday, the 16,

"Wednesday, the 17,

"Thursday, the 18,

"Satur... "

"Saturday, the 20"? How come there's no...

There's no "Friday, the 19"?

- Probably carried forward. - I don't see anything.

Probably my weak eyesight...

This is...

Good Lord!

Now, now, now...

Someone spilled the contents of an ink pot.

- That can't be! - See for yourself.

This is strange. That's ink, indeed.

- Who did this, Favret? - I don't know, captain.

- Someone must have come in here. - No one, captain.

I don't know what to say, general.

How unfortunate... That's ink, indeed.

Yep.

I'm terribly sorry, general.

It does not matter in the least.

Please make sure it doesn't happen again.

- Yes, general. - Tell me...

Do you have any prisoners?

A few. You know, stubborn characters,

rogues, like in every regiment. So we deal harshly with them.

Of course...

Why don't we go see them?

The troop inspection in the yard

is at noon. And it's now... 11130 AM,.

- We have half an hour to kill. - Yes, general.

- Go warn the sergeant. - Yes, sir.

Stay here, colonel. I don't want to disturb anyone.

Fine, general. If you could do me the honor...

Thank you.

What is this?

Garbage?

Yes. That's what it is.

I couldn't tell you... Who did this, Favret?

- I don't know, captain. -This must be removed at once.

If people start taking the colonel's office for a stable.

In fact, it does not matter in the least.

I know it's supposed to bring luck, but still.

Is everything OK in prison?

Rest assured, captain.

Everything is under control. The general will be pleased.

Fine, then.

They're singing?

This way, general.

Well, it all seems well kept. Everything's clean.

That's perf...

Are these your prisoners I hear?

A light-hearted song, general. They're rather homesick.

I can see that.

- Would you be so kind... - Hurrah for the general!

Would you be kind enough to introduce me to these youths?

Of course, general. Flick!

Attention!

I smell a whiff of tobacco smoke.

Of course not, general.

Please forgive me, captain.

- This is rather unbearable. - Yes...

- Your prisoners are allowed to smoke? - No, general.

They do so without permission. Like in every regiment.

Yes... yes...

But wait until you see how I handle them. Attention!

So, you funny types.

The general is honoring you with his presence. Forward!

Look at these scoundrels...

You should be ashamed...

- So these are our roughnecks? - A disgrace for the army.

Lazy bums. Rascals.

- Why are you here, son? - For carousing around, general.

Carousing? What kind of language is that?

Couldn't you be more polite? Really!

He's not your comrade, you know.

Scoundrel.

Yes. It's rather long.

The squadron has no barber?

I've no time, general.

- Why not? - I'm always in jail. I can't go.

Yeah.

What are you hiding behind your back, son?

Come now, come Now. Show me.

I'm no bogeyman.

What is this?

Head cheese, general.

And I paid for it.

Your prisoners eat rather well!

Since they can't have meat or bread in their mess kit,

we have to be careful. They're young and have weak stomachs.

Naturally. It's difficult enough to drink only water.

I wouldn't wager too much on the water...

Someone could always sneak in a liter or 2 of wine...

Donkey.

Pull up that shirt, son.

- There you go. - Yes, that's wine.

Good heavens...

I know it does not matter in the least.

Still, this constitutes another clear violation of the rules.

It may appear extremely harsh, but I don't make up the rules.

And we must enforce these rules without questioning their value.

- Of course, general. - Isn't that so?

What about you, young man? Why are you imprisoned?

- I did nothing wrong, general. - This one's a low-life, general.

- Rotten louse! - And this one's no better.

- Don't listen to him, general... - They're good-for-nothing...

OK, OK, enough already! What's all this nonsense?

How dare you raise your voice in the general's presence!

Come now, come now.

I would ask you, my fellow captain,

to grant them an amnesty and send them back on duty.

Right away, general.

- Every sin has its mercy. - Yes.

This prison is quite unusual. Congratulations are in order.

Thank you, general.

This prison is unusual, indeed.

Soldiers scream their head off, smoke like chimneys,

- But, captain... - What? What is it?

Did you hear, you fools? The general took pity on you.

- Go back to your barracks. - Gather your mess kits.

That's me.

- Let's clean that. - Let's clean that.

- Clean that. - Clean that.

Too bad we have to leave. I enjoyed it here.

Hurry! The general's inspection starts in 5 minutes.

That floor's dirty. If the sees that...

- Where's the cleaning man? - Here!

- Sweep under the bunks. - OK.

- This pitcher's empty. - Cleaning man, water!

What's this? Cleaning man, 4 days of detention.

- Cleaning man! - Yes?

Get some polish.

Where's the cleaning man? What's all this about?

Couldn't you be careful?

Where's that fool?

Damn! An unmade bed? Who sleeps here?

- I do. - Two days in the guardhouse.

Fine.

You call this a pack? Two days in the guardhouse.

And fix this mess.

Did you sweep under the bunks?

Fine.

Damn! Now, that's classy.

Open up the windows. Wide open.

There's no water left in the pitcher.

Close those windows, dammit! It's freezing in here.

Pick up this manure!

Attention!

Very well, lads.

I congratulate you and you gentlemen as well.

Great gathering of troops. In every aspect.

- Really, general... - No, I mean it.

- These young men deserve credit. - You're too kind, general.

Well, now.

Hello, general.

- That's what I call pride... - Hello, lad.

- Do you like this regiment? - Yes, general.

Very well. Do you have any complaints?

- No, general. - I do, general.

- Who has spoken? - I have, general.

- The hair. - "When it rains, it pours... "

- What do you have to say? - The soup isn't worth a damn.

- The soup isn't good. - Worse, it tastes bad.

It's made of waste, suet and bones.

The chef is a scoundrel. That's what I had to say.

- Did you hear, captain? - This seems like a set-up.

Here's a man who eats only bones?

- Why didn't you complain before? - I did, captain.

- To whom? - To the chef.

- And what did the chef say? - That he didn't care.

- That man is an impostor. - No rude language, colonel.

So...

- The soup isn't worth a thing? - Yes, general.

What do you mean? Be frank. How do you find the food?

It's good, general.

You find it good. Is that correct?

- And you? - I also find it good, general.

And this chubby man, here, who seems such an honest lad?

How does he find the soup?

Can't you see the general's talking to you?

The soup's excellent, general.

- Then it's decided. - They're liars, general.

What now, a conspiracy?

- Let me say that... - Enough.

I won't attach too much importance to this incident,

but although I hate handing out punitive measures,

I would ask,

to impose 8 days of detention

-To...? - Vanderague, general.

To cavalryman Vanderague.

This way the worthless soup will now be worth something.

Good for you.

Attention!

Mount your horses.

What are you doing here?

- We were asked to come. - Get the hell out of here.

- Where to? - Anywhere, but near me.

- OK. Wanna have a drink? - Let's goto the mess hall.

Forward, halt.

Swords...

... drawn.

Prepare to march.

Squadron, forward...

... march,

- Are all your men here? - Yes.

- No soldiers on leave? - No.

Prepare to halt trot. Halt!

- No men carousing? - General, please!

Some officers can be reluctant to make difficult confessions.

Difficult, in that it betrays a lack of supervision,

and in their men, a lack of discipline.

Such is not the case with my men or my officers.

But then... who are these men?

La Guillaumette and Croquebol. We're in for a laugh.

I don't know how to tell you...

In all modesty, I feel a solidarity of sorts.

Yes, solidarity, if I may use that word.

I don't know what to say, general.

- I'm terribly sorry. - I accept them wholeheartedly,

but these spectacular entrances, with handcuffs

policemen and all this ruckus,

have a regrettable impact on the minds of rural populations.

I know, general, but soldiers aren't ducklings,

we can't lead them with a rope.

Now, now. Don't get upset.

- I'm sorry, general. - This is for your own good.

- I haven't forgotten we go back a long way, Hurluret. - Yes.

You were my lieutenant in '70 and I was head maréchal-log is.

We were both mentioned in Dispatches.

- We were full of promise. - You've done better than I.

As for any promotion you may have for me,

- I've given up on that. - Why so?

You know very well you instill no fear in these men.

That's actually my pride.

If I may say so,

you're belittling the respect your stripes deserve...

I know my faults, general,

but I only worry about gaining at least enough respect,

to leave a favorable impression in the heart of my comrades,

and in their memory. I'm 50 years old.

I gave up a long time ago on any promotion,

and as I reach the twilight of my life,

it frightens me to consider my existence is about to sink...

into sadness

and solitude,

far from these barracks which grew so familiar,

and my beloved soldiers.

Yet a ray of sunshine lights up my dark journey:

the thought that perhaps one man,

who now fails to show any respect

for my age or my stripes,

might look back, remembering me with fondness,

smiling, recalling, with melancholy,

"When I was a simple 2nd Division cavalryman

"in the 51st chasseur,

our captain was an old beast named Hurluret.

"He was a loudmouth, a disorganized man,

"and a lush.

"But he was a decent man".

You're a sensitive man,

and you speak with eloquence, captain.

Unfortunately,

by resorting to these methods, an officer cannot lead his men.

I can lead my men whenever and wherever I want.

And that's already considerable.

If you say so.

Heavens! My train's about to leave.

I'm quite pleased, captain.

Please convey my most sincere satisfaction to your men.

Present arms!

If some of your squadron's men are confined,

- please lift their sanction. - Yes, general.

Captain,

you're a decent man.

Always at your service, general.

Scoundrels...

Translation: Claude Dallaire TV5 Québec Canada. Edit. by Master Bum.