Original subtitles

Admiral, I am ready to leave on patrol. Good morning, Hawk.

We've picked up something very interesting.

Looks like a derelict ship immobilized in Sector 5. We're closing now.

She's coming into view, sir.

Looks like a refugee from the interstellar junkyard.

I've sent Crichton down to see if Buck wants to check it out.

I'd like for you to postpone your patrol and join him.

I shall prepare the shuttle.

We're all going to wait.

Captain Rogers, do it gently, do you understand?

William Crichton's been on his feet for almost two

days before he went to bed less than two hours ago.

Oh, very well, Doctor.

What an irritation it must be to you humans to be required to

spend one-third of your lifespan in a comatose condition.

It predicates a hopelessly inadequate basic design.

Yes, yes, yes, thank you very much, dear boy. We've been over all this before,

haven't we? Do go and wake the captain, will you? That's a good fellow.

You are good fellow, Doctor, not I.

Heavens above, I think he made a joke.

Oh dear, how depressing.

Now hear this.

Your presence is requested on the hangar deck.

Let us put a stop to this gold-bricking.

Gold-bricking?

A quaint expression from the century which spawned you, Captain.

A perfectly dreadful century, I might add, highlighted

by wars, women's lib, and the Holocaust.

Maybe I'll wait and have any sleep for three days.

It was you, Captain, who asked to be alerted if anything untoward happened.

I cannot be responsible for your physical or emotional state, Captain.

Your presence is awaited in the launch bay.

One of these days.

What's going on, huh?

A derelict vessel in the shipping lanes?

Put the possibility of life forms aboard.

What's he doing here?

Crichton is here, as usual, to fill the gaps of human ignorance.

Creighton, one of these days you're going to say the

wrong thing at the wrong time to the right person.

They're going to turn your knob. You know what I mean? Knob?

Knob?

I have no knobs.

Well, you get into the ship right now,

or I'll show you who have knobs in the most unexpected places.

Move.

Oh, very well, Captain.

¶¶

The Admiral was right. It's the worst pile of junk I've ever seen.

It is hard to believe it is held together in such a state.

No marking or insignia of any kind to indicate where it's from, either.

In the year 1987, NASA launched the last of America's deep space probes.

Aboard this compact starship, a lone astronaut, Captain William Buck Rogers,

was to experience cosmic forces beyond all comprehension.

In a freak mishap, his life support systems were

frozen by temperatures beyond imagination.

Ranger 3 was blown out of its planned trajectory

into an orbit 1,000 times more vast,

an orbit which was to return Buck Rogers to Earth 500 years later.

Incredible.

If there is life in here, I'm not sure I want to meet it.

Not if it's as old as this ship seems to be.

It is very quiet.

Surely you're aware that quiet is a relative concept.

Well, then be quiet. Do your job and scan for life forms, Crichton.

There are life forms of an inferior species aboard.

How inferior. Warm-blooded, like humans.

Well, that's funny, Crichton, really funny.

You mind finding them for us?

Unnecessary. The lifeforms have already found us.

Check for SS.

If the language resembled any reasonable tongue known in this galaxy,

I would oblige. Unfortunately, it doesn't.

Crichton, establish some kind of communication.

It is unnecessary to establish communication. They are already established.

We only speak Sidonian when irritated.

Oh, well, that's good to know.

My name is Captain Buck Rogers. This is Hawk.

We're from the Earthship Searcher.

And we're from Cydonia. I am General Exus. I am General Solman. I am General Umac.

I'm General Soso. I'm General Cousin. I am General Totop.

And who are you?

I am Private Zet.

Six chiefs and one Indian.

What is Indian? Um...

You're private here.

Exactly. We give orders, he takes orders.

Is that not confusing?

It's not confusing. He never obeys.

If he does not obey, what good does it do giving him orders?

What good is it to be a general if you don't have someone to give orders to?

Are you ready to give up?

We wish to know why you attacked us. We want reasons.

We didn't attack you.

We thought you were a derelict. You were adrift in a shipping lane.

You could cause an accident.

Boarding without permission is an attack to Sidonians.

You're indeed fortunate that our weapons didn't function.

How did that happen?

We don't know.

They functioned perfectly when the Sarlans came aboard to pirate our cargo.

That was a long time ago. A very long time.

Before our energy cells imploded.

That is why you are drifting.

Yes, but someday we'll repair the damages.

After all, we've only been adrift for about 200 years.

Or more. Doesn't matter.

What matters is we complete our mission. Yes,

indeed. Complete the mission. Finish the job.

Serve the queen. Do or die. Raise the flag.

What exactly is your mission?

We are under orders to proceed to the distant site

of star Sitoff 43 and dispose of our cargo.

If it's of any importance, Sitoff 43 is a bomb disposal star.

Wonderful.

I'm almost afraid to ask you what your cargo is.

Don't be afraid. They aren't. Our cargo is solar bombs.

Solar bombs.

How many?

Only 1,000.

That's enough to radioactivate this entire area for over 50 million years.

General.

Where are they?

All over.

Some are here, safe and somewhat sound.

Somewhat sound? Great, check them out.

Extremely unstable, exceptionally volatile.

The deterioration rate is accelerating.

Of course.

Our stabilizing system destabilized when we lost our energy.

Yes, well, we'll set up a magnet beam and take you on to Siddharth 43.

In the meantime, I'm sure that our commander would

be more than happy to welcome you aboard our ship.

Good. We accept. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

I have never quite seen anything like them.

I used to hang out with a very pretty lady named Snow White.

What a ship! What a stupendous ship!

What a magnificent ship! What a stupendous magnificent ship!

This is unbelievable. It's incredible. Take notes on the ship, Private. Yes, sir.

I must go on patrol. I leave our charming guests entirely in your hands.

Thanks a lot.

I'm hungry. Yes, hungry. Famished. Very famished.

Revenous. Starving. Food. Yes, yes, yes.

Crichton, would you go set up the relay coordinates for the magnetic tow, please?

As you wish.

Come along, gentlemen. I'll see what I can do.

Yes, yes, yes!

Engagement complete and locked.

Our forward velocity must not exceed three-quarters speed.

Well, why not? If we go to plasma drive, we'll make it to sit-off 43 a lot sooner.

The destabilizing solar bombs aboard the Zeardonian vessel cannot withstand

the increase in kinetic energy which accompanies transfer to plasma drive.

He means it's risky.

Yes, yes, that's quite right, Tricky.

He does need a bit of translating now and again, doesn't he?

Most impressive.

Lots of pretty lights.

Only we had them, Richard.

Well done. Good fellow. Admiral, may I present General Lickseys and his crew.

We're not crew. He's crew. I'm the crew. We're generals!

Yeah, well, at any rate, I'm gonna try and get some sleep.

Excuse me, I'll see you later. Look at this!

Yes, look! Gentlemen, gentlemen, what a pleasure, what a surprise.

We've got lots to talk about and the night is just over.

Well, what can I do for you, gentlemen?

What are you?

Uh, well, I'm Colonel Wilma Dearing. No, not rank.

What are you?

I think what they're trying to find out is, my dear, what kind of animal you are.

I'm a woman, that's what.

Woman?

What is woman?

What you're looking at, a female.

She's no female. Couldn't be. Look, she's got bums.

Yes, bums. Pretty bums.

Well, you'll have to excuse me. I'll arrange for your quarters.

Hey, look, an audio sensitizer, energy control.

I heard of these once.

Don't touch that control! This control?

Help!

Help!

Emergency! Emergency! All hands to quarters! All hands to quarters!

Oh, my. Crichton's hurt. Somebody help him, please.

The logarithmic function of a parametric equation

is inversely proportional to the... the 10th power.

What happened? One of the generals began playing with the controls.

What happened here? He hurt his head.

He's dented.

And everywhere that Mary told the lamb was, lamb was. You guys. Lamb was.

Take him down to Dr. Goodfellow's lab. Lamb was Mary Glow.

Mary Glow.

Mary Glow.

What is a lamb? What's a merry?

Who's glow?

How about it, Doctor? Is the damage reparable?

Looks quite serious, I'm afraid.

It appears that the impact of the fall is greater

than the depression in the positronic cortex.

Will he be all right?

Oh, Treaky, I don't know, but I'll do my best.

You can fix him.

I know you can. Dear me, there's a dent in the cortex, as I feared.

It's quite a massive trauma.

I'll have to remove the brain for further examination.

Take out his brain? That's terrible. Now, Tricky, let's not jump to conclusions.

The positronic brains of...

Pretty durable apparatus.

Yours has been functioning very well for a very long time.

Yes, but nobody ever put a dent in my cortex. There, there, there.

Now then, I tell you what I'll do.

I'll run an analysis and have a prognosis in a few minutes.

Attention all personnel. The Zerdonian visitors have disappeared from

the control room. Please advise. What do you mean disappeared?

We were monitoring the magnetic grid and just took our eyes off them for a minute.

We turned around and they were gone.

Well, they couldn't have left the ship. They must be somewhere.

The only place where visual scanners are non-functional is the magnetic power plant.

Wonderful!

Magnificent!

Have you ever seen anything like this before?

I hope all of you are absorbing what you see.

This equipment is far superior to ours.

No wonder. Ours is 2,000 years old.

Yes, yes.

And if we bring back samples of this transferal system,

we'll be decorated as heroes.

Take notes, Private Zep.

You bet.

I think their energizing patterns are behind this panel.

Yes, let's see. Oh, look at that. That's interesting. Don't!

What the devil's going on here?

Emergency power synthesizers.

All stations report damage.

What are you trying to do, kill yourselves?

How can we be killed by something as harmless as that?

Harmless? You could have gotten us all killed. Not us. That's right.

We are naturally... Grounded, aren't you?

Grounded?

You mean electricity doesn't hurt you?

Now hear this. Power failure. Collision imminent. I repeat, collision imminent.

All crew to station, secure for impact.

I've got to get to the bridge. Good luck.

Enough! What a mess. Can we help, Captain Rogers? No, you can't help.

We've been helpful enough.

Buck, whatever happened down there shorted out the tractor beam controls.

They're locked, and the power flow's increasing.

I'm going to have Dr. Goodfellow join you. Perhaps he can help repair the damage.

Admiral, that tractor beam is pulling the Zordonian ship right into our aft section.

How long until impact?

Less than seven minutes.

Activate deflector shields. Go to plasma drive.

Admiral, the solar bombs will explode.

I don't think that'll make much difference, Colonel.

Looks like electronic spaghetti to me.

Strange beings. They get upset over nothing. Yes, strange.

They take the long way around every problem, don't they? Reminds me of generals.

Present company accepted, of course.

Must take it upon myself to redesign these systems one of these days.

They're almost impo... Oh, good heavens!

I found the little culprit. Look, look, look. You found it? Yes, indeed.

The transducer was melted, melted clean away.

See? Look at that. Look at that. Can you see it?

Yeah, well, I see it, Doctor. The problem is that in about two minutes,

we're going to collide with a ship loaded with unstable solar bombs.

What can we do about it?

Oh, dear, I don't quite know. I mean,

we need jumper cables or splices or something like that.

I'm afraid there isn't time.

You guys were all volunteering to help a little while ago, weren't you? Yes,

let us help. We're good helpers.

We're excellent helpers. We like to help.

Doctor, I think I may have found our jumper.

It's not quite a cable, perhaps, but... All right.

Which one of you wants to volunteer? Generals don't act as jumper cables.

Private Zett, step forward and volunteer. Yes, do your duty. Yes, sir.

Thank you for volunteering, Private. Step right this way.

Grab a hold of those two wires.

I was getting around to it, Captain.

So get.

Right away, Buck.

We made it.

Lieutenant Martin, reduce speed to warp three.

Re-establish magnetic stabilizers.

Yes, sir.

Tweaky, why don't we see how Crichton's doing?

Oh, yes, please.

It's funny.

Now's the first time Crichton ever needed us.

Am I through yet?

Not until that cable's placed.

Wilson, just in time.

Did you bring everything? Yes, sir, Captain Rogers.

As soon as you're all free, Private Zett, I'd love to talk to you if I may.

I have so many questions I'd like to ask you.

I think I'll spark to that, Doctor. That's a pun! Very good pun!

An excellent pun.

I think we may create some truly electrifying moments together.

Dr. Goodfellow, weren't you working on Crichton's brain before all this happened?

Oh, good heavens, of course I was. How could I possibly have forgotten? Dear me,

I must get back immediately. You forgive me, of course.

Doctor?

I'm not sure on anything to be done, but I'll do my best.

Come on, Tweaky. We're not giving up hope.

I'll look in on you later, okay?

Thank you.

Wilma.

Gentlemen, please. Please, please, please.

Wilma, I've just spoken with the Admiral, and he says that from now on,

the Zerdonians are to be your personal responsibility.

He asks that you try to keep them out of trouble.

Me? Has it occurred to our admiral that their

interest in me is slightly more than casual?

Yes, well, I wouldn't know about that.

In any case, I intend to get some sleep if it kills me.

And the Zidonians are all yours.

Thanks.

Gentlemen, I would ask you please to consider

yourselves guests aboard this ship, not crew.

Don't touch anything.

Guests do as they please.

What a great idea. We're all yours.

Show us the rest of the ship. What's for dinner? Yeah, what's for dinner?

Just go straight ahead, Charlie.

Hey, look at this!

Wow!

Please, from here on, I'd like you to read, relax, Do whatever it is you do,

but here you must stay until this ship returns

to some sort of normal business routine, all right?

Okay, thank you.

Does that tell you how to fix Crichton? Yeah.

Afraid not, Tweaky.

Unfortunately, for all his advantages, you know,

the positronic brain has one fault, one something really serious happens to it.

No way we know of repairing it.

Will Crichton be consigned to the compactor for recycling?

No.

We'll simply install a new brain when we reach the base.

But it won't be Crichton.

No, Twiggy.

It won't be Crichton.

I'm sorry I was cross with you, son. Dr. Goodfellow did let me help to make you.

What do we do now then? I'm bored. So am I. Let's find something to do.

And something to eat. Yeah, something to eat.

Well, let's get on board.

Come on.

Humans are very gullible.

Everybody, think about the lock.

Whatever, it worked out. It has to do with day

one. Private Sack, lead the way. Of course.

After you, General.

This is Colonel Deering entering asteroid belt A64. Secure station.

Flak to shields engaged. Out.

Private Zid, what are you doing in my bunk?

Trying to get some sleep.

Everybody on this ship is always running around in a dither.

Doesn't anybody ever sleep?

My friend, I have been trying to get some sleep since long

before you and your peripatetic generals got here.

I haven't closed my eyes in over 50 hours.

What is it with you guys anyway?

You're worse than the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

Can't you stay out of trouble for more than five minutes?

I can. Generals can. It's in the nature of generals to create havoc.

Say that again.

It's in the nature of generals to... All right, all right, all right, all right.

Hey, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

I thought that Colonel Dearing had locked all

you guys up in the lounge for safekeeping. How'd you get out?

We walked.

You did what?

We walked.

What do you mean you walked? You couldn't have.

It's impossible. It's an electronic lock.

It's foolproof.

Foolproof?

Nothing is foolproof to Zidonians. We think things

as we want them to be, and they happen.

I don't understand.

We all think locks and lids and belts and catches.

We all think even better than we all think.

Are you telling me that all you have to do is think about something and it happens?

You mean humans can't do these elementary things?

No, we can't. You see, we don't consider unlocking

a door by thinking about it elementary.

It's easy if you know how.

I'll think.

See?

It's a nice trick.

Battle stations, battle stations.

Battle stations. Keep your shirt on.

My shirt is on.

Stay put, all right?

I'll put on some clothes, and then we'll see what's going on, all right?

Whatever you say, Captain.

Why is it I have a feeling I'd be better off if they'd all been asleep in my bunk?

What's the meaning of this?

I gave no orders for firing. Now who's responsible? I don't know, Admiral.

Someone is manually controlling the lasers from the main weapons bay.

I guarantee we all know who that someone is.

How did they get out of that lounge? I'll do whatever I can, Admiral.

Sorry, I really did lock him up.

I know, I know. I'll tell you about it later.

Good shooting.

I got one, too.

I got another one. Magnificent shooting. Better than that. Perfect.

I'm gonna go recover. Well, that was fun.

It ceases insanity at once. At once.

The defense shield is down.

It's too late. Hold on.

Are all of you crazy?

Of course not. We were just having fun.

Don't you people know better than to play with these weapons?

You realize those lasers are effective at over 40,000 grids?

What if you'd had a ricochet off one of the asteroids

and it hit your own ship? We never had a ricochet.

On Cydonia, we used to practice like this all the time.

Emergency! Captain Rogers, to the bridge, please.

Try and do something with him.

Thanks a lot.

Even if you have to tie them up.

Tie us up? Why would you want to tie us up? We were only having fun.

The bunch of you are acting like little children.

How old are you anyway?

Oh, very old.

Very, very old. A thousand years. A more.

More than a thousand years old? At least.

Well, do you have children? Oh, yeah. We do. Sometimes.

In a way. Well, then, you have wives waiting for you at home. What's a wife?

A female.

A woman like me.

No, no wives.

No females like you.

Uh, but you said you had children. How?

We attend the queen when she calls.

If we're here, she hasn't called. In a long time. She will.

Oh, yes, she will.

Well, then your queen bears your children. No, she lays eggs.

Eggs? Many eggs. Seven eggs. Us, in a shell.

In a shell? In a shell.

But how do you...

Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm not going to get into that one. I'm going to the bridge,

and I certainly hope the lot of you will behave yourselves.

How did you do that? What are you doing?

We must settle our question.

Settle?

About a woman?

Yes, what is a woman?

Well, now, just a minute. You claim to be a female.

That's an impossibility. No female looks like you. Correction,

no female looks as good as you.

Certainly not our queen. She hasn't got buns.

We must examine you.

Examine? Uh-huh. Now, wait a minute. What are you talking about?

Begin the off thing.

Off thing? Off thing.

Off thing.

Off thing.

Gentlemen. Now, now, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

We must examine. For science?

No, no, not on your life.

It's all right. The joint you make is a doctor.

There it is. The impact threw both the main and backup gyros out of equilibrium.

And now we're heading straight for the seventh sun of Kaifutak.

It's hard to believe that such a small asteroid hit could cause so much damage.

We can't reverse power or direction?

Yeah, we tried overpowering the gyros hydraulically

and shorted out the entire control system,

including the leads to the power plant.

Meaning we have no internal communications, huh? That's the picture.

Not very pretty, is it? No, it isn't. I'm gonna

round up Wilma and go find Dr. Goodfellow.

I don't know what he can do, but he seems to be our last and best hope.

Stop it.

What is going on in here?

They're madmen. Absolutely insane. A lot of help you were, Captain.

You could have made it a little sooner.

All right, all of you, in a group, together, behind me.

I don't want you any more than a step behind me. You understand?

We'd be delighted, Captain Rogers. We like you.

Almost as much as we like Colonel Deary.

No problem, dear boy, if we had time,

but unfortunately to reach the affected areas would

be necessary to tear down the entire control panel.

That would take, I would say, at least four hours.

Which we don't have since we're due to impact

the seventh son of Kaifutak in less than two.

Does anybody know what's going on around here? It doesn't make any sense.

It must make sense. Just not good sense.

There's got to be another way to fix those leads.

That type of repair capability was built into Crichton's

construction for just such an emergency.

But with a poor fellow being ought to come by, I'm afraid we're as good as lost.

I can make Crichton function.

What did you say? I beg your pardon?

I can make him work.

I have a positronic brain, too. Oh, I know it's not as good as Crichton's.

He keeps telling me that, but it might work.

What are you suggesting, Tweety?

Well, Dr. Goodfellow could take my brain and put it in Crichton's body.

Then I could make his extensors work, and the ship could be fixed.

Bless my soul, what an extraordinary idea.

How very brave of you, Tweaky, to suggest it.

I am a robot, and by the first law of robotics,

a robot may not permit a human being to come to harm if he can prevent it.

You are all in danger. I must help.

Forgive me, Tweaky, forgive me saying this,

but Crichton's rather a more sophisticated robot than you.

His more complex circuits might very well do

irreparable damage to your little brain.

Then there'd be no more Tweaky.

The alternative is no more you, no more any of us.

There's not much time left, Doctor. We gotta get started.

Buck, what do you say?

Well, Doc, I'm afraid that Tweaky's come up with the only possible solution.

Well, my friend...

Crichton may be more sophisticated than you are, but when it comes to guts,

you've got to beat hands down.

Says you, I'm quaking in my boots.

Come on, Doc.

Are you ready, Twinkie? I'm ready.

You'll be all right, Twinkie. I know you will.

You'll be back with us in no time.

Hang in there, big fella.

We're all rooting for you.

I am robotic unit.

T-W-K-E-4.

Well, he's working.

I am governed by Dr. Isaac Asimov's three immutable robotic laws.

One, a robot may not injure a human being or through

inaction allow a human being to come to harm.

Two, a robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings

except where such orders would conflict with the first law.

Three, a robot must protect its own existence as long as such

protection does not conflict with the first or second law.

Oh, that's wonderful. Do you know what you've just heard?

Those are the first words spoken by all articulate robots following the

moment when the positronic brain is introduced to the servile mechanism.

Oh, T-E-W-K-E-4.

Can you hear me?

We have a problem.

I am here to solve problems.

Command me.

Good.

Oh, Buck, listen to me. The longer Tricky's brain is subjected

to the strain of Crichton's superior circuits,

the greater the risk that it will incur permanent damage.

Was there something we can do?

Well, you see, I had so little time, I'm afraid,

I had to cut some of the leads to Twiggy's positronic cortex.

Well, how can we help?

You see, if you and Buck could isolate those leads, do you follow me?

And extend them to the same length as the uncut leads...

Save a great deal of time when I replace the brain.

In fact, it could make all the difference.

Consider it done, Doctor. We'll have those leads ready by the time you get back.

Right.

Listen, it's a matter of electro-timing, old boy, with our lives at stake here.

I understand the problem. I will eliminate it.

Well, you'd better hurry. We can't take much more of this heat.

I shall begin at the main juncture of the gyro.

It is done.

Will somebody please try the controls? We did it.

We're swinging back to course.

I am pleased to have been able to help.

Attention, all hands.

Impact with Kyphotec's seventh son has been avoided. All systems are functioning.

Emergency standby personnel may stand down.

Thank you, Crichton.

I am not Crichton. I am robotic unit TWKE4.

Crichton no longer functions.

I know.

If I understand the problem here, you wish Crichton to function again?

Well, of course we do, of course. But it's impossible. His brain's damaged.

Nothing is impossible. Not for Cydonia. Come on, let's go see what we can do.

I wouldn't trust them, not one centimeter.

Do come along, TWKE4. We're going to see if we can help Crichton.

Ah, there. Thank goodness. He's back home, so to speak.

In no further danger.

I tell you what we'll do. We'll feed him energy very slowly.

Then we wait a few minutes, and then we shall see.

It's time to onthink the dented one.

Onthink. Yes, onthink.

Onthink, what on earth are you people talking about?

I think I know what they're talking about.

You said you could fix anything just by thinking about it,

the way you unlocked the doors and the way you examined Colonel Deering.

Yes, that was all think. But we can all think even better than we all think.

But we must know the original shape and function of the brain.

We all know the original shape, but how it functions, well... Dr. Goodfellow?

Well, I don't know. I suppose I know as much as anybody,

but it's composition and its synaptic and electromagnetic impulses.

Time to onthink.

Think about the brain. Think about the brain.

Think about the brain.

Think about the brain.

Think about the brain. I am thinking.

Think harder. Push. Ponder. Concentrate.

Concentrate. Think about the brain.

Think about the brain.

Think about the brain. Think about the brain. Think about the brain.

Think about the brain. Think about the brain.

Think about the brain. Think about the brain.

Look, something is happening.

They did it, all of them, they did it. Now, I tell you what,

to return Crichton's brain to its original cranial

cavity and see if both the brains function.

That's all right.

Let's hope for the best, shall we say.

Oh, please.

Let it be our old Tweaky.

I say, are you there, Tweaky?

Tweaky, are you there?

No response at all.

It's time to on-think.

Yes, it is!

On-think! On-think! On-think! On-think!

On-think! Look!

Twiki, I say, Twiki, dear fellow, can you hear me?

Oh, I hope I never have to go through anything like this again.

It's a drag.

It's him. Welcome back, Twiki.

I knew you'd pull through, big guy.

It's good to feel like my old self again. What about Crichton?

Yes, what about him?

Yes, what about him?

Now then, Crichton, speak up, old boy, if you can.

Why is everybody staring in this insane fashion?

Surely you must have something better to do.

We should have left him with the dent.

You know, we're arriving at Citadel 43, you know, the repair station.

Everyone's waiting for you on the bridge.

I was just curious.

You ever heard of curiosity killing the cat?

What's a cat?

You'll be leaving in a few moments via the airlock.

Sit-off has you on tractor beam.

They'll activate as soon as you're aboard your ship.

I must say, it's been interesting having you with us.

Interesting is hardly the word.

You've missed an experience.

So I have been hearing.

No, no, no, no, no. You've all missed the point.

Don't you understand what's happened?

We've all been part of a miracle, a whole series of miracles.

We've been reminded of something very important in life,

that anything you believe possible, anything you think possible, is possible.

Oh, I know there have been misadventures, but look at what we've gained.

Something has been brought back into this old heart

of mine that I thought it had lost forever.

Do you know what that is?

The magic of believing. And I, for one, want to show my gratitude.

We like you, too.

Yes, indeed. Very much.

Very much a muchness. You have also given us something.

What is that?

When we return to our planet, we'll be welcomed as heroes.

The queen will make us knights.

Why would she do that? Because we saved your lives.

Funny, I would have sworn Tweaky had something to do with that.

I do believe I had something to do with the process.

Well, let's say it was a brilliant communal effort, shall we? I think, in any case,

it's splendid that you're all going to be made knights.

I should also ask Her Majesty, Your Queen, to commission you a new ship.

What's wrong with the old one?

I don't know. I haven't been on it,

but Captain Rogers tells me it's a real dog of a ship.

It'd be a shame to send a knight out on a dog like that, wouldn't it? Another pun!

A glorious pun! A super-splay-diferious pun! A pun-de-and-all pun!