Original subtitles

[? upbeat music playing]

[? music fades]

[rumbling echo]

[? epic music playing]

Okay, I think we can all agree magic was used today.

You were just supposed to make a free throw to pass gym class,

but you had to show off, didn't you?

[scoffs] Nobody ever accuses LeBron of showing off.

Are you comparing yourself to LeBron James?

I'm not, but I did hear it

tossed around the locker room after class.

You know what you did wrong. I know what you did wrong.

Let's just skip to the part where I punish you.

Uh, you know, since we're skipping things,

how about we just skip to the part

where the punishment's over?

I've told you a thousand times, don't use magic irresponsibly.

-[sighs] -You're both grounded.

No devices, no TV, no friends.

Alone in your rooms the whole weekend.

Weekend?

That seems fair.

That's not fair at all.

So you've never used magic irresponsibly?

Nope, never.

Come on, are you seriously saying that--

Billie! The man's offering us a weekend.

With good behavior, we'll be out by Sunday at noon. Take the deal.

-[sighs] But it's just... -Thanks, Dad.

We're gonna go home and reflect

on the consequences of our actions.

That was some stern, yet fair parenting.

Well done, man.

Thanks, buddy. Still grounded.

Roman, why did you cave?

He's all over us for something he's definitely done too.

Trust me,

every wizard has used magic irresponsibly at least once.

He probably did, but there's no way to prove it.

He's the parent, we're the kids. You can't change the system.

Oh, Roman, you know what happens

when you tell me I can't do something.

Now I gotta change the system. This is on you.

[? theme song playing]

? Everything is not what it seems ?

? When you can have what you want ?

? By the simplest of means ?

? Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ?

? Because everything is not what it seems ?

? You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ?

? Because everything is not what it seems ?

? Yes, please ?

? What it seems ?

[gasps] That's it!

Hey, Roman, I have to tell you something.

[Roman] Are you out of your room?

We're not supposed to be out of our rooms!

But nobody's up here. Open the door.

[Roman] Stop trying to make me an accessory!

[groans]

Fine, I'm back in my room.

Hey, Billie, what's up?

Remember how you said there was no way

we could prove your dad was irresponsible with magic?

Well, I spent hours studying ancient texts,

and I found a way.

So you turned yourself into a mop to avoid homework,

but you'll study on Saturday out of spite?

I'm a complicated woman, Roman.

Come on, are you in or not?

I don't know. I mean, what if my dad finds out?

He'll ground us next weekend. [scoffs] What, you got plans?

You know I don't. Let's do this.

[sighs] Okay, shirt is ironed, deodorant's on.

I'm gonna crush this presentation today.

Is there anything in my teeth?

Just a lot of well-flossed spaces.

Love my water flosser. If this house caught on fire,

that would be the first thing I save.

Thanks.

Hey, you can save yourself. Flossie's helpless.

The school board's coming today, and if I don't wow them,

they'll stop funding our STEM electives.

Students love those classes.

It'd be terrible if they got cut.

Well, that's not gonna happen, okay?

Because you're charming, you're convincing,

and you've got a swag that I don't understand,

but I can't say no to.

Thanks, babe.

So, uh, what are you up to today?

Well, Milo's at a play date, Roman and Billie are grounded,

and I'm gonna do something I've been waiting to do

for a long time.

[inhales deeply] Absolutely nothing.

-[laughs] -[phone chimes]

Oh. That's interesting. Just got a text from Alex.

I guess the wizard who replaced me

after I got fired from WizTech

just got promoted to the tribunal.

[laughs] How great.

You okay?

Of course. I'm happy for Alistair.

He's a great guy, and we're both doing great.

He's on the tribunal. I'm going to work on a Saturday.

How great is that?

You know, it's just great, great, great. [chuckles]

Honey, it's too many greats.

Honestly, it's fine. He's the better wizard.

During the unicorn incident, I choked, and he didn't.

So... [inhales deeply] he deserves it.

Well, just try not to think about that, okay?

Go down to the school and crush it.

[exhales] Yes, absolutely. All right. Crush it.

Oh, okay. Crush it.

Come on. [mutters]

[sighs] Crushing it.

[Billie] If we're gonna prove your dad

was irresponsible with magic, I have to get a few things.

First up, the potion calls for a sliver of body.

[Roman] You cut off part of my father's body?

[Billie] Relax, it was just his toenails.

Next, a piece of mind.

That meant getting something that contained

all his hopes and dreams. His unpublished memoir.

[Roman] You took The Principal's Principles?

That's the only thing that cures my mom's insomnia.

And finally, his most prized possession.

-His water flosser? -His water flosser.

Now, all we have to do is mix this together

and the potion will be complete.

[bubbling]

Eh.

[exhales]

Items in, here we go.

Show us the mind of the one we know.

So how does this work?

Uh, do his memories appear in the smoke?

Do they float like a hologram?

Please tell me we're not gonna drink it.

-We're not going to drink it. -Okay. Good.

-We're gonna jump in it. -Wait, what?

[? whimsical music playing]

Where are we?

[chuckles] We're inside your dad's mind.

No way.

A Waverly Sub Station sandwich, a Calico Woman action figure,

a twelve-ball paddle.

And who else would have a vacuum cleaner hall of fame?

Okay, we are in my dad's mind.

[? upbeat music plays, fades]

There's nothing better

than watching amateur bakers fool celebrities

with cakes that look like real-world objects.

Oh, come on, JoJo Siwa. It's obviously cake.

[door opens]

Hey, Mrs. Russo.

Winter, I thought that door was locked.

It was. I used my key.

You mean the key we hide in the fake rock outside?

Yeah, my key.

Uh, sorry, but Billie and Roman are grounded, so...

you mind locking the door on your way out?

Oh, I can't go home.

My dad got called into work, and my mom was super excited

to have the day to herself.

[laughs sarcastically] Well, I hope she's enjoying it.

Ooh, Batter Get It Right. I love this show!

[sighs]

Billie and Roman never want to watch it with me.

[clicks tongue] Same with Justin.

He tried to downgrade our cable subscription

so we wouldn't get the channel.

Oh, come on, JoJo Siwa. It's obviously cake!

You can stay.

Okay, the school board will be here soon.

Today has to go perfectly if we're to save our STEM electives.

Oh, I know the stakes, sir.

I canceled two doctor's appointments to be here.

Two? Are you okay?

I don't know. I canceled the appointments.

Now, tell me your vision.

Okay, I'll start with the tour,

then I'll blow their mind with a science demonstration.

Now, where are those buttons I asked you to make?

Right here.

They printed everything you said on there, word for word.

[chuckles] Marcus.

"Hey, Marcus, on the buttons,

I want it to say, 'I love STEM.'

Got it? Are you writing this down?

Everything I said on the buttons. Thanks."

[chuckles]

I was worried it wouldn't all fit,

but I paid the guy double.

[chuckles] Okay, so no buttons.

But hey, we got this.

Oh!

Yeah, sir, we got this.

[grunts]

-Why did you do that? -Because you did.

-But I didn't mean to. -Then why did you?

I don't know.

[grunting]

D-- Don't-- Don't-- Don't press that.

We don't know what any of those do.

Yeah, but one of these buttons must play his memories.

Also, it's fun.

[grunts] What is happening to me?

Want me to call a doctor?

I know two who just had last-minute cancellations.

[? upbeat music plays]

I can't believe we're inside my dad's mind.

I mean, should we take off our shoes?

Man, just help me figure out where he keeps his memories.

-[buttons honking] -I don't know.

Billie, this is a big invasion of my dad's privacy.

Well, look at it this way.

If your dad didn't misuse magic when he was our age,

we deserve to be grounded. But if he did...

Then we've been wronged!

That's right.

And sometimes, the only way to prove you're right

is to do something wrong. Right?

I don't know what scares me more,

getting caught or agreeing with you.

Sir, are you okay?

[Justin shouts] Does it look like I'm okay?

It's like someone else is in control of my body!

[gasping]

Yeah, these buttons don't do anything.

Maybe no one will notice I'm acting weird.

Way ahead of you, sir.

I'll just tell them they're upside down.

[pants] I don't understand why this is happening.

I was so ready for today. I ironed. I put on deodorant.

I found out that the guy that got my job after I was fired

got a huge promotion.

-I flossed, I-- -That's it.

You think it was the floss.

Maybe you're thinking about how you got fired.

I know I always do.

How many times have you been fired?

-Oh, uh... -Don't answer that.

Listen, I-- Whoa! [grunts]

Why is this happening?

[pants] I can't give the presentation like this.

You're gonna have to because the school board's here.

Don't worry, I'll make it less weird.

[panting]

Tell me again how this is less weird?

Oh! Come on, Omar,

you can't fool Judge Judy with a gavel

made of buttercream.

You're guilty of being a terrible baker.

[chuckles] We could do better than these bakers.

We should do better than these bakers.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Oh, yeah. We hop a red-eye to Paris,

we enroll in the world's most prestigious baking academy,

then spend the next few years cutting our teeth

on the pastry line at the Ritz.

Yeah, no, we weren't thinking the same thing at all.

I was gonna say we should try to make our own cake.

I like your idea better.

I can't go to Paris anyway. I have to be home by four.

Members of the school board, thank you for taking the time

to listen to my presentation.

[shouting] Your support is the rocket that will launch...

[whispering] ...Greenwald Middle's STEM program to the stars!

This looks like a volume knob, but for what?

[chuckles]

[shouting] I don't know why...

[whispers] ...I'm yelling right now.

Marcus, can I speak to you for a second?

I don't want these people to think...

[loudly] ...I'm losing my mind!

I don't get it. Nothing in here works.

Where are the memories?

[sighs] This is my dad we're talking about.

He would never leave his memories

just sitting somewhere easy to find.

He would hide them away in the deepest,

-darkest recesses of his... -[door opens]

Found it!

Of course your dad keeps his memories on DVD.

"A Magic Moment."

That's gotta be it.

Oh, no.

Turn it off. Turn it off!

My eyes!

[timer dings]

[gasps] If we did this just right,

and I think we did, our cake is gonna look like

-a laptop fresh out of the oven. -Ooh!

Oh! [coughs]

-Ooh. -[coughs]

On the bright side, that is what a laptop

would look like fresh out of the oven.

[scoffs] It's so much easier when I'm sitting on my couch

judging the people on TV.

We're not giving up. We need to go big or go home.

I am home.

Then there's only one option.

[? electronic music playing over video]

Wow. That... was... embarrassing.

Well, at least he wasn't kissing it.

Man, we've watched a ton of these

and still haven't found one

of your dad using magic irresponsibly.

Maybe he told us the truth.

No way. We are staying here until we prove him wrong.

[device beeps]

-Tomunan Kinesis. -[energy humming]

[exhales heavily]

[umpire] Strike three! You're out!

[audience cheering over video]

I knew it. I knew Justin misused magic

when he was our age. We're about to be ungrounded.

Let's get out of here.

What? No, we can't leave.

My dad said he never misused magic,

and he obviously did. What else isn't he telling me?

"Unicorn Incident, Do Not Watch."

Oh, well, we are definitely watching that.

How bad does a memory have to be

to tell yourself not to watch it?

Clearly, you have never walked in

on your grandma in the shower.

[? upbeat music plays, fades]

Marcus, is there any chance this is all in my head

and my presentation is going great?

[sighs] After my job interview,

I promised myself I wouldn't lie to you... anymore.

You lied in your interview?

Well, I didn't, but my resume did.

[sighs] This is the unicorn incident all over again.

-The what? -Uh, uh... [hesitates]

It's just a nickname for a really bad day that I had.

You've had one worse than this?

[sighs] Maybe hearing that Alistair made the tribunal

bothered me more than I thought.

I know what to do. Do you trust me?

After the resume thing, not really.

I guarantee this exercise will clear your mind.

All you have to do is turn around and fall.

I will catch you.

[thud]

Ow! [groans]

You said you were gonna catch me! [groans]

Now all I can think about is how much my butt hurts.

All I can think about is how much my butt hurts!

Then my job here is done.

No, no, no, wait! We still have a ton of work to do! Come on!

[groans]

I finished all the graduation prep,

Headmaster Russo.

[device beeps]

Who's that guy?

That's Alistair Goodspeed.

He's the headmaster of WizTech.

Yeah, he took over after your dad got fired.

I know I went a little big this year, but the students,

they've been working so hard.

I want this to be a graduation ceremony

that they'll never forget.

It certainly will be memorable.

After you see what I have planned.

-What's that? -I didn't say anything.

[fireworks whistling, crackling]

[crowd cheering]

Why are the fireworks starting?

Someone must have set them off early.

[marching band playing]

Oh no, the marching band. They think that's their cue.

They're going to spook the...

-[unicorns neighing] -...unicorns!

They're stampeding right towards the students!

-[students screaming] -I have to protect them.

Hand me my wand.

I'll cast a protection spell.

[static crackles]

You've got this, Headmaster Russo.

Projectus, protectus.

[wand sputters]

What happened? Projectus, protectus.

It's not working.

Allow me.

Projectus, protectus.

-[unicorns neighing] -[sighs]

I don't understand what happened.

How could I mess up so badly?

It was an honest mistake.

They can't fire you for an honest mistake.

I can't believe they fired you for an honest mistake.

I can. The unicorns trampled the band.

The drummer almost lost an eye,

and he's a cyclops, so, you know, he's only got the one.

It was my duty to keep those students safe,

and I failed. If you hadn't have stepped in

and saved the day,

I don't know what would have happened.

I just feel bad taking your job.

Don't. If there has to be a new headmaster,

I'm happy it's you, Alistair.

Should have happened years ago.

-What's that? -I didn't say anything.

Really sounds like you're saying something.

That was brutal.

Man, your dad would never mess up a spell like that.

Something's not right.

Hand me my wand. I'll cast a protection spell.

[static crackles]

There. See?

Alistair's by the table, and then all of a sudden

he's next to Justin?

It's like there's a piece missing.

[sighs] Conceal-o, reveal-o!

Hand me my wand. I'll cast a protection spell.

-[? tense music playing] -Alistair, are you hexing my wand?

Really wish you hadn't seen that.

Now I have to make sure you never remember it.

Cerebellum Erasus!

[? ominous music playing]

You've got this, Headmaster Russo.

[device beeps]

That's why Justin's spell didn't work.

His wand was hexed.

He was framed.

Really wish you hadn't seen that.

[? suspenseful music plays]

[Billie] Headmaster Goodspeed?

What are you doing in Justin's mind?

What are you doing in Justin's mind?

We asked you first.

When you restored that memory, you triggered an alert.

I'm here to make sure Justin never learns the truth.

Why'd you frame my dad?

I should have been headmaster, not him.

He wasn't the family wizard.

He wasn't even supposed to have powers.

I just exposed him for the fraud he was.

He's not a fraud.

-Well, he did lie. -Not now, Billie!

I'm not letting you get away with this.

What are you gonna do about it?

Billie is not letting you get away with this.

Without your continued funding, students will miss out

on cutting-edge science experiments like this.

Marcus, hand me the trilithium phosphate

and the selenium carbonate

[chuckles]

[whispers] The red one and the blue one.

I'm going to rebury that memory.

Justin will never know the truth.

But first, I'm going to destroy you.

Everyone can hear you.

Now, the dictionary isn't the only place

that safety comes before science.

[both laugh]

Which is why I'm gonna mix these chemicals very slowly,

very carefully. Okay?

-[? tense music playing] -[wand humming]

Hey, cover me!

-With what? -Uh-- Be creative!

[grumbles]

[magic zapping]

Take that! [grunts]

Ow! Ow, that really hurts!

Uh, Billie? What are you waiting for?

Aah!

Sir, I love a dramatic pause, but you're losing them.

I'm done playing games.

Roman, open a case.

I really hope this works on more than just baseballs.

Tomunan Kinesis!

[screams]

Did you get him?

Yeah, I think I got him.

Here, I'll send this to Alex. She'll know what to do with it.

Uh, what's gonna happen now?

Is my dad just gonna remember everything?

[gasps]

I was framed!

[beakers shatter]

[chemicals bubbling]

Uh-oh.

[? upbeat music plays, fades]

See? I told you we could do it. The key was never giving up.

Even after the fire department asked us to. Twice.

And now's the final test.

Put it somewhere and see if anybody notices it's cake.

I'll go get the Bianchis' cart so we can put it in place.

The Bianchis are out of town.

I'll use my key.

-[Justin sighs] -How'd it go?

Ah, I'm guessing not well.

-Actually, it was incredible. -Really?

Yeah. I'm not sure if it was the fall or the explosion,

but the most amazing thing happened.

Wha-- You were in an explosion?

That's why the school board decided

to keep the STEM program.

They said that I was proof that more science education

was needed in schools.

Well, I'm just glad you're okay.

[scoffs] I'm better than okay.

You remember the unicorn incident?

Yeah, the reason you got fir-- let go from WizTech.

That's the one.

Out of nowhere, I remembered something!

It wasn't my fault. Alistair Goodspeed framed me.

[gasps] Honey, you're kidding. This is huge.

Yeah. I spent the last 15 years thinking I messed up.

That when people needed me, I let them down.

[scoffs] I gave up being a wizard because of it.

And now, now it's like this huge weight

has just been lifted off of my shoulders. [sighs]

So you never should have been fired from WizTech.

-Yeah, exactly! -[sighs]

But if you hadn't been fired, we never would have met.

Yeah. Exactly.

We wouldn't have this amazing life

with Roman, Milo, and Billie.

[chuckles]

-Want to hear something crazy? -Hmm?

I think getting fired from WizTech

was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Well, I know it was the best thing

to ever happen to me. [chuckles]

I love you,

but can we save the hug for after you've showered?

It's a good call.

I have to warn Alex about Alistair.

He shouldn't be anywhere near that tribunal.

[sighs] Okay.

We just have to get back upstairs before anybody...

-What are you two doing out of your room? -...catches us.

You're supposed to be grounded.

Yeah. [inhales deeply]

-About that... -Uh, sorry, Justin.

We're headed back upstairs.

-Why are we headed back upstairs? -I'll tell you upstairs.

[sighs]

Why didn't you tell him about the baseball game?

That was the whole reason we went into his head.

Well, just because he misused magic

doesn't mean it's okay that we did.

Besides, we unlocked that memory.

Now he knows the biggest mistake of his life

wasn't his fault. Let him have this.

So, are you telling me you're done misusing magic?

No.

I'm just done getting caught.

[? upbeat music plays, fades]

Winter told me she and Giada made a cake.

If I were that cake, where would I be?

[gasps] There it is.

[chuckles]

Yeah, I know you're fruit salad, but I'mma pretend you're cake.

[sighs]

[squelching]

[yelps]

Huh, found the cake.

[? upbeat music playing]

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