Original subtitles

Resync And Corrections By Chuck :D

Mr President?

Commissioner.

My lord.

Mr President.

My lord.

Your worship.

Mr President.

Your worship.

My lord.

Commissioner.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Mr President, my lord, commissioner,

your worship, ladies and gentlemen.

That's better.

It is my pleasure to propose the toast to the guests,

on behalf of the Flying Squad Social and Athletics Club.

In this, their annual.

Sound like a sauced up old pudding.

I was talking to a dog handler the other day.

He was slagging his dog off.

I mean he was complaining about

how his dog was a bit useless.

So I said, but he used to be a very keen,

smart and efficient dog.

"Yes he was", he said.

That's the dog handler talking.

"Yes he was, but last week

"he was promoted to Superintendent.

"Now he just sits on his arse and barks."

[laughing]

Bastard cleaners, they've shrunk!

We are also honored tonight with the presence

of the new Deputy Assistant Commissioner,

who has joined us from the other side of the fence.

For those of you who don't know the gentleman,

he's the one sitting on my left

wearing the white crash helmet.

Boom boom.

[sighing]

Tonight also marks the retirement

of Detective Superintendent Reggie,

well if you twist my arm, Benton.

Mr Benton is going to be the president

of a new association, alcoholics unanimous.

If you don't want to drink, you ring them

and they talk you into having one.

Well laugh you bastards, that one cost me a fiver.

[ripping]

Oh no!

That's all I bloody need.

The Sweeney Theme!

You, my son, are in a severe state of imbibery.

Hello darling.

You ever seen a green one before?

Now where are you two little darlings off to, hey?

Come on Lukey.

They ought to put something in your tea, Lukey.

You're getting married Saturday.

I need something to calm me nerves, don't I?

Come on.

They're jail bait.

Come on, in here.

♪ I'm getting married in the morning ♪

Through here.

Nice time, Lukey?

Oh yes.

More like a bleeding wake than a stag party, Dot.

Aww.

Oh that's nice.

Do you like it, girl?

Oh yes.

It's yours, init, now.

Oh.

Here.

Mind where you put it.

[both laughing]

Ta Lukey.

Here, you've got a visitor.

Where?

In your room.

What kind of visitor?

I'll put it in the lav.

Be nice and moist in there.

Hey uh, Luke.

It's old mother Ritz checking on ya.

[both laughing]

You've got a morbid sense of humor, you have

get out of here.

[Smooth Jazzy Music]

Thought I'd bring your wedding present round, Lukey.

[Lukey] That's very thoughtful of you, Gloria.

It's a chip pan.

Has Linda got a chip pan, Lukey?

[Gloria giggling]

[Gloria] Oooh!

[George] Here governor.

That joke of yours last night about the DAC.

[Regan] What about it?

He wasn't wearing a crash helmet.

[Regan Moans]

Here governor, do you remember

the last time we tried to pull Lukey?

Please don't shout, George.

Bill, he was cased up with this Chinese tattooist bird.

Straight up, wasn't he?

She looked like odd job.

He reckoned that she was tattooed all over her body.

Even her, you know.

George.

Do you mind?

I'm trying to remember what day it is.

I hope he's had his hair cut.

Lukey's hair's not long.

Well I don't want him looking

like a poof in the photographs.

Mom.

Oh!

[Mrs Rix] Hold still!

Me foot's gone to sleep.

Are you holding yourself in?

No.

Yes you are.

[Linda] I'm not!

You can't hold your breath all through

the ceremony, my girl.

You are not altering this waistline.

You're in the club,

and there's nothing we can do about it.

Another month and you would have looked nice.

We've been through all this, mom.

I don't understand you, Linda.

Nice looking girl like you, four CSEs,

working with one of the best hair stylists in London.

Why, you could have married anyone.

I didn't want anyone.

I love Lukey.

Love.

Ha!

You just wait 'til you're up to your elbows

in dirty nappies waiting for him to come home.

[laughing]

It's all kissing and cuddling now,

but I'm telling you, my girl,

you're going to have to nail that one's feet

to the bottom of the bed.

I know his type.

Carries his brains in his trousers.

Mr Regan, and Mr Carter.

That's right, Lukey, and this is a pull,

so save the big smiles for the magistrate, hey?

You never know, it might be a bird.

Pull, what for, Mr Regan?

You ever heard of the messenger to Gods, Lukey?

You what?

Mercury.

[Lukey] Mercury?

Mercury, my son.

200 flasks of mercury have gone missing.

That's a lot of thermometers.

Pulling my chain, Mr Regan?

Do you know how much that's worth, Lukey?

You what?

30 grand.

30 big ones.

I don't know what you two are on about,

straight I don't.

We'll elucidate, down at the nick.

I'm getting hitched tomorrow.

-You? -You what?

Straight.

Clean fingernails, best whistle.

At three o'clock at St Matthews,

to Linda Rix, daughter of Stanley,

unfortunately deceased.

And Lilly, just unfortunate.

Well you're very welcome to the reception.

We'll try not to spoil your big day.

I've got me orders, Mr Regan,

gonna get the barnet notched, pick out the whistle.

On your arches, Lukey.

She'll kill me.

Lovely Linda?

No, her bleeding mother.

We'll give you police protection.

[engine revving]

So where you want it now, mom?

Back over here.

No, I think by the window's best.

No, no back here, the guests can circulate then.

Are you sure now, before we both get a bloody hernia?

Language!?

Now, I want you two to keep your eyes

on that Lukey tomorrow at the reception.

You know what he's like when there's a free drink around.

I thought your father could tuck it away,

God rest his soul.

And we don't want any filthy stories either.

And for God sake, keep him away from Aunty Vi.

You know what happens when those two get together.

She'll be up on the table, singing and showing her knickers

before we can even read the telegrams.

The container was driven out of the depo at night.

False information had been fed

into the computer controlling cargo movement.

Computers?

I don't know nothing about computers, Mr Regan.

I can't even work out my odds down the betting shop.

Lukey look, we know that one of the cargo

control clarks is involved.

There are three others.

I'm not in that division, honest Mr Regan.

I didn't even know mercury was valuable, 'til you told me.

All right.

Why are you so shy about telling us

where you were that night?

I ain't shy.

[Regan] All right, where were you then?

It's a bit awkward, init.

Oh dear!

You hear that, George?

It's a bit awkward.

What I mean is, Mr Regan, a Sweeney's

hardly renowned for it's delicate, tactful approach, is it?

You mean she's married?

You're a very perceptive man, Mr Carter.

[Regan] What's her name?

Her husband's a very evil, bitter,

vicious, twisted little man, Mr Regan.

If he ever found out.

Her name, Lukey, or we charge ya.

[hammering]

-Stanley. -[bell ringing]

[hammering]

Good morning, gentlemen.

Good morning.

We'd like a word with Mrs Riller.

What about?

Well it's private.

I'm Mr Riller.

We thought you might be.

My wife's engaged at the moment, perhaps I can--

I've just seen a mouse.

I'm sorry gentlemen.

Mrs Riller?

Yes?

I wonder if we could have a word with you, in private.

What about?

Bird protection.

Bird protection?

Yeah, we're from the London Wildlife Society,

and Mrs Riller is a patron especially interested

in starlings and pigeons and sparrows.

Oh.

Oh yes, of course.

Since when have you been interested in birds?

Yes, they said you'd be calling.

Stanley, that fox of Mrs Pinkus,

the cigarette burn, I can't find it.

The fox?

The burn.

Who are you?

Police.

Is Lukey in trouble?

He could be.

Mrs Riller, where were you last Wednesday night?

Oh, Wednesday, yes.

Did Lukey?

Were you with Lukey Sparrow?

As you can see, gentlemen, Mr Riller

is considerably older than myself,

and he's not a well man, slipped disk.

Wednesday is my night for seeing my sister.

Sister?

Yes, she's very understanding.

Got a nice little flat in Clapham.

Oh if Stanley ever finds out.

All we want to do, Mrs Riller,

is find out whether Lukey's telling us the truth.

And he told us he was with you Wednesday night.

Oh yes he was.

He was definitely with me on Wednesday.

I could swear to it, if I had to.

I won't have to, will I?

What time did you meet him?

About eight, at the flat.

My sister goes to tango classes,

and then on for a little light supper

with a gentleman friend afterwards.

What time did he leave?

Well I don't know exactly.

I got home about half 11.

Lukey must have left the flat about 11.

11?

Well it might have been a little later.

Pauline, one hole.

Yes well thank you very much Mrs Riller

-Good-bye. - Bye.

See you at the next meeting.

Pardon?

Oh yeah of course, yeah, thank you, bye.

[bell ringing]

Were you eavesdropping Stanley?

Certainly not.

I do have other interests, you know,

besides you and the shop.

But you hate birds.

You've always hated birds.

Were did you go to Lukey, after you left her?

Home, straight home, Mr Regan.

But you ain't gonna believe that, are you?

I can't prove it because I didn't see no one.

You are a sadist, you are Mr Regan.

If you knew Mrs Rix, you wouldn't be doing this to me.

Soon fix you up, son.

Bye.

[phone ringing]

Bit convincing, isn't he?

It was your man who put his name in the frame, George.

He might be wrong.

Now he tells me.

Well it's a bit out of Lukey's league, init?

[phone ringing]

Go and give his drum a spin, George.

Take Pete with you, I'll stay here.

Pete, yeah right.

I recon he's more frightened of Mrs Rix than us.

[Lukey sighing]

How much longer, Mr Regan?

As long as it takes, son.

I've been here nearly two hours already.

Can I make a call?

Phone Linda and explain.

Try and explain.

Yeah all right.

[Lukey] Mr Regan?

What?

Well you couldn't phone, could ya?

If Mrs Rix answered instead of Linda,

you could say that, well you know.

Do leave off Lukey!

Mrs Dorothy Plummer?

Yes.

Police.

Oh, what have I done?

[George] No nothing, I want to ask

a few questions about Lukey Sparrow.

Oh, he's getting married.

Yeah.

Not sure which one.

Can you remember last Wednesday?

Oh, Wednesday.

[George] Were you in about 11?

Oh I'm always in, love, except when I go out.

Really?

Wednesday.

What was on?

Oh of course yes, she's always in.

Wouldn't miss the horror film.

Did you see last nights?

That Christopher Lee's eyes, and them teeth.

Oh, put me off my port, it did.

And when that severed hand crept over

those white sheets, leaving a trail of blood.

Can you remember what time Lukey came in?

Lukey, no I'm sorry, I can't love.

When I'm watching that Christopher Lee,

I become quite oblivious to my immediate surroundings.

I'm there living every horrible moment.

Oh, Charlie might remember.

Charlie's my other lodger.

Want anything up the top, Dot?

These gentlemen are from the law, Charlie.

Oh?

Asking questions about Lukey.

What's up?

Were you in last Wednesday night?

Wednesday, yeah, why?

[George] Did you see Lukey?

I didn't see him, but I heard him.

You heard him?

Bolt, flush weren't working.

I was tryna watch the film, see,

Lukey kept thumping it.

Right next store to me room, right bleeding racket.

What time was this?

Dunno, just after the film started.

Half 11, I suppose.

Why?

[typing]

out of here, half-soon soon son.

Got the evidence on the way.

[rattling]

Has anybody got time for a rate payer?

How can I help you, madam?

Don't you madam me!

You know who I am.

Mrs Rix.

My daughter has just received

a ridiculous phone call from that Luke,

Mr Sparrow, and I've left her in tears.

Oh dear.

Now what is all this rubbish about?

I really can't discuss it.

He says he's been arrested.

I'm sorry Mrs Rix but--

Well what's to be done?

I can't discuss it out here!

You're not much use for anything, are you?

I don't suppose you even know whether he's here.

He's in with Inspector Regan.

Oh, here, which room?

You can't go in.

Oh we'll see about that.

You have to wait.

Wait?

I have not got time to wait.

I am two hours behind schedule as it is.

Now I want to speak to that "Inspector Regal" now.

Well if you wait in there a minute,

I'll have a word with him.

I don't know what the police force is coming to.

She's in again.

You got a fag?

[Lukey sighing]

Excuse me gov, can I?

[phone ringing]

Don't get too comfortable, son.

Up yours, Regan.

I heard that.

[door slamming]

When I told her you were unavailable at the moment,

I thought she was going to stick one on me.

Last time she was here was to report

a man who exposed himself in Woolworths.

She had half the CID out.

They found him in the casualty department

of the local hospital with a broken nose,

where she'd hit him with her shoe.

[Regan chuckles/coughs]

Well if you're not out in half an hour,

I'll ring the anti-terrorist squad.

Yeah, thanks.

Ah, are you this Regal bloke?

[door slamming]

Regan.

Perhaps I can get some sense out of you.

-Mrs Rix-- -Now what's all this

nonsense about Mr Sparrow?

Mr Sparrow is assisting us with an inquiry.

[Mrs Rix] And what's that supposed to mean?

Exactly what I said, he's assisting--

Exactly what is he supposed to have done?

I am not at liberty to discuss any charges that might be--

That's just about what it is, a bloody liberty.

Are you aware that he is getting

married tomorrow to my daughter?

He did mention--

And are you aware that he is due

at St Matthews Church at precisely

three o'clock for a full rehearsal

with the very Reverend Dennison.

-Mrs Rix-- -And are you aware

that without the prospective groom,

there can be no rehearsal, and that without

a rehearsal, the whole thing will be a bloody fiasco!

Mrs Rix--

Don't you shout at me!

Mr Sparrow will be released from this establishment when,

and only when, I am fully satisfied

that he took no part in a serious incident

that we are investigating.

What I want to know is--

Certain inquiries are being conducted

by another police officer at this moment.

When he returns, we might have

a clearer picture of the situation.

But if sufficient grounds for suspecting

that Mr Sparrow was involved are established,

I'm afraid you may have to postpone the wedding.

Postpone the wedding?

Are you mad?

I'm sorry if it causes any inconvenience.

Inconvenience!?!?

I've got 60 guests arriving tomorrow

from all over the country.

I'm sorry.

There's £300 worth of food and drink being delivered,

the cars have been booked, the organist,

the choir, the hotel honeymoon suite.

And I've just bought 30 boxes of bloody confetti!

Skip, he's through there with Mrs Rix.

How's it going?

She's got a mouth like a blowlamp.

[knocking]

[Mrs Rix] And if I get no satisfaction,

I shall go straight to the Scotland Yard!

[knocking]

Governor.

Excuse me.

Don't think you're just going to walk out.

Jesus.

Are you enjoying yourself?

No wonder Lukey's got a shake on.

Don't you slam the door on me.

I haven't finished with you yet.

I'll be back in a minute, Mrs Rix.

Make sure you are!

I haven't got all day.

[door slamming]

[Sighs]

Look, there's this geezer called Charlie Pearce,

he lives in the same house as Lukey.

He recons that he heard him come in at 11:30, definite.

Well what do you think, George?

It seems straight enough.

I checked with CRI, there's no form.

Listen, I hate to say this governor,

but I think Lukey might be telling the truth.

You ought to have a quiet word

with that bloody snout of yours.

[George] Don't worry, I will.

Something in my water tells me.

Governor, I don't see how we can hold him.

Yeah, I suppose you're right.

I suppose you've got to let him go,

under the circumstances.

At least it'll get jaws off your back.

Yeah.

And we'll know where to find him when we need him.

[Lukey sighing]

[phone ringing]

[Lukey] She's here, isn't she?

Not many.

Next door.

That voice, that voice!

Is Linda like her?

Do you know, I keep having this nightmare,

Mr Carter, waking up in 10 years time next to that.

Teeth in the teacup, half a pound

of spanners in her hair.

You can go, Lukey.

Honest?

Yeah, Charlie Pearce confirmed your story.

But I didn't see Charlie that night.

Well he recons he heard you come in about 11:30.

Call for you, Skip.

If we find out Charlie Pearce is lying.

If we find out you're fibbing, Lukey,

I'm gonna come down so hard on you

you'll have to reach up to tie your shoe laces.

Hello?

Oh she was here.

Listen, what's your game?

Just listen a minute, we pulled Lukey Sparrow, didn't we?

And he was nowhere near the container depo.

[Lukey] Is there a back way out of this nick, Mr Regan?

You make me laugh, Lukey.

-Hold on, hold on. -It's you or her

with me, son, you better start learning

the art of shuffle.

Ain't her old man doing eight in Penarth?

Yeah, got that, right hold on.

[Lukey] Misunderstanding, Mrs Rix, it's a question--

Where do we find her?

[Lukey] Erroneous identification.

[Mrs Rix] You dozy lummox.

Do you think I've got nothing better to do--

Right.

[Mrs Rix] Than trapes around police stations.

You better be right this time, my son.

I'll tell you one thing, I'm not letting

you out of my sight from now on.

You can stay at our house tonight.

That'll be nice.

On the floor.

Well, back to square one, George.

No, not quite governor.

That was my man.

He said he got the whisper about Lukey from Mrs Clayton.

Dave Clayton's missus?

[knocking]

[knocking]

Yeah?

We'd like to see Mrs Clayton.

She ain't here.

Are you sure?

Sod off!!

- Who the hell are you?! - The Sweeney, watch your mouth!

What do you want, Regan?

Want a little chat, Mrs Clayton.

In private.

I was just leaving.

There's a coincidence.

See you, Cath.

Ta Bernard.

He's a mate of Dave's.

Really?

Shared a peter with him.

He looked a bit nervous.

Well what do you expect?

[Regan] How is are Dave?

Safely banged up.

So what are you doing here, Regan?

Like I said, just want a little chat.

About what?

-Lukey Sparrow. -Who?

The Clapham Casanova, we pulled him

for that mercury job.

I don't know what you're on about.

Yes you bloody do.

A snout put Lukey's name in the frame for this job.

He said you and Lukey have been making whoopee

while Dave's been inside.

And he said you got careless with your mouth

and dropped Lukey in it.

He is a bastard liar.

So you don't know Lukey?

[Mrs Clayton] That's right.

And you don't know anything about the job.

I mind me own business.

[Regan] Is there a phone in this tip?

Phone?

We're going to have to pay a visit, George,

with her old man in the nick.

Dave, what for?

Well he might like to know that

his mate's been sniffing around.

What was his name, Bernie, was it?

Yeah, we might just mention Lukey as well.

I'm sure Dave knows Lukey.

I'm sure he'll be very interested.

You bastard, Regan.

Very jealous man, your husband,

isn't he Mrs Clayton?

Very violent man.

[Regan] And he comes out in a couple of months.

You evil pig.

Look slag, I don't give a toss

who you have in your bed, but don't you try

and run your numbers on me.

Now you know something about that blag.

Now you've got a simple choice,

you tell me what you know, or you get your arms broken

when the old man comes out.

Look, if I do give you a name,

will you two swear it won't go further

than these four walls?

You're on.

If he finds out I grassed him,

it'll be more than broken bones.

There might be some bread in it for you.

Stuff your money.

The name.

Spooner.

Alby Spooner?

It's all I'm saying.

And it's all we need.

Alby Spooner.

Well that's more like it.

Thanks for your cooperation, Mrs Clayton.

[Machinery]

We've pulled Lukey Sparrow.

Who?

Now it's your turn in the barrel, Alby.

Your manners don't get any better, do they, Mr Regan?

Nor do your jobs.

What's that supposed to mean?

You bloody know.

I do?

You haven't got much imagination, have you?

The last time you was done,

it was for pinching a load of nickel.

The whole thing got chucked.

Yeah, and we both know why.

Insufficient evidence, the chocolate said.

Yeah, yeah someone suddenly developed

a severe case of amnesia brought on

by traumatic experience, namely having

his kneecaps tapped with a coal hammer.

You suggesting I interfered

with a prosecution witness?

You coming like that, or you wanna put a frock on?

I'll change, but you're making a big rick, governor.

No, Alby, you made the rick when you did

that container of mercury.

Yeah.

[dramatic music]

Carver!

[whacking]

[dramatic music]

He got away, George.

Do the Olympic selection committee know about him?

Your nose is bleeding.

Must be the altitude.

[Regan coughing]

Yeah.

Oh Lukey.

I was ever so worried.

It was all an unfortunate misunderstanding, love.

A question of erroneous identification.

But it all sounded so serious,

what with you being carted off

to the police station like a common criminal.

I never got my barnet cut, or picked my suit up.

[kissing]

Doesn't matter.

As long as you're all right.

You all right, love?

Bit wobbly.

I'll just be glad when it's all over

so we can be by ourselves.

Bloody right.

I'm sorry mom's been such an old cow.

She's not really like that, underneath.

You might even get to like her.

Will she get used to me?

Of course she will.

[footsteps]

This is Mr Sparrow.

Luke.

Luke?

Now there's an uplifting name.

And this is the Reverend Dennison.

Pleased to meet you, vicar.

What a joyous occasion this is.

If they haven't shifted out already, George,

that mercury's gotta be somewhere,

and where better than a building due to be demolished?

[dramatic tense suspenseful music]

Look at this.

Load of contract files.

We'll go through them.

Make a list of all the buildings

that Spooner's firm are going to demolish.

There can't be that many.

Okay, and then I'll check 'em out.

Yeah, quick as you can.

I'm gonna give Charlie Pearce the quiet job.

What, you think he's lying?

Lukey Sparrow was on that job, all right.

Yeah but you said that Spooner said

he'd never heard of him.

Sorry, he wouldn't admit to knowing

his own mom, would he?

I know for a fact that those two Herberts

did time in the same college.

Listen, I recon we ought to shift that gear

before that bastard Regan gets onto it.

You arrange the transport, I'll get over there.

I've got a contact in the coal storage place in Essex.

We'll dump it there.

Listen, I'm going with it,

and I'll stay out there until the scream's off.

What we gonna do about that Lukey?

If that little snot's grassed us,

I am gonna personally put his lights out.

His big brother and me received the slightest

information that you've been putting out about a bit.

Playing Alsatian with any bit of spare rattle.

They're gonna chastise you.

compre le vue?

Who exactly are we waiting for, Mrs Rix?

Uncle Billy, your worship.

He's giving Linda away, and Gloria,

her best friend, she's maid of honor.

I hope they arrive soon.

Yes.

Sorry I'm late, Mrs Rix.

We must get on.

[slow tense suspenseful music]

[rattling]

[shouting]

Charlie Pearce?

Yeah?

[Charlie grunting]

What do you think the hell you're at?

My name's Regan, flying squad.

Sweeney.

That's right, son.

And you are in the manure, right up

to your pink little ears.

I don't understand.

Don't give me any trap, Charlie,

or you might trip up them stairs.

Dot, Dot!

She's not in.

She's out.

I saw her go.

We're all alone, Charlie, just you and me,

and I haven't got a lot of time to waste

on rubbish like you, son.

Now, you've been telling my sergeant fibs,

haven't you Charlie?

You told him that Lukey was here

last Wednesday, just after 11.

If that had gone down in a written statement,

you'd have perjured yourself, Charlie.

He was.

No Charlie, he wasn't.

I heard him.

You Charlie are a lying little toerag.

You don't know what it's like in the nick, do ya?

You can't breathe for the stink of sweaty bodies.

Stale food and slop outs.

It's horrible, Charlie.

And then there's the noise, doors slamming,

keys rattling, yard boots on the catwalk.

The tannoy blaring out all day, every day, Charlie.

And then when they bang you up for the night,

there's some hairy great con wanting you to be nice to him.

You'll love that, Charlie.

And then when you come out, Who you gonna phone?

No one wants to know you, Charlie.

You can't get a job, no one will give you a room.

You're a social leper.

Villains use you.

Coppers put you in the frame.

They're usually back inside within a 12 month.

I may have been mistaken.

Really?

How do you mean, Charlie?

Well eight days, it's over a week ago.

I mean, it's difficult to remember.

Did Lukey mark your cards, Charlie?

He--

He can be very persuasive, can Lukey.

I don't know nothing about nothing else.

If I thought you did, Charlie,

We wouldn't be here having a friendly little chat.

No, we'd be down the nick,

and you'd be in a peter with my sergeant

who doesn't take kindly to a scrub like you

making a mug of him, Charlie.

If Luke ever finds out I told you, he'll shoot me.

That, Charlie, would be a mercy killing.

The organ will be playing.

All eyes will be upon the bride,

so take your time, Linda.

Don't be nervous.

This is the happiest day of your life.

[squeaking]

Your boots, Billy.

What?

Your boots are squeaking.

Speaking?

I don't have to say nothing, Lo, do I?

I'll see you after.

Me battery's going.

Is something a miss, Mrs Rix?

Oh no, no vicar, thank you. [laughing]

[squeaking]

Silly old sod.

[spectacular mystically tense music]

[Stan] I hope you said your prayers, Lukey.

What are you doing here, Stan?

I told Alby he was making a rick recruiting you.

I told him you didn't have no class.

I warned him you would rent 'em out.

Who is this lemon, Lukey?

Shut your crack.

I never said nothing to Regan, on my life.

He let me go.

Exactly.

Get out.

-[groaning] -[dramatic music]

[whacking]

Leave him!

Lukey's scarpered.

[George] I'm getting nowhere fast, governor.

[Regan] How many left on the list?

[George] Two.

[Regan] Well I'll take one of them.

[dramatic bassy jazzz/funk music]

Here son.

You ain't seen a geezer with blonde hair

running around here, have you?

No.

You sure?

All right, thanks.

He's probably just gone for a walk.

No he's gone, I know he's gone.

Poor old Lukey.

Everyone just kept having a go at him.

Where is he?

He's flown.

Little bastard!

Stuff it.

Leave it out.

We'll find him.

Put the word out.

I want every pair of eyes and ears

you can get out on the street.

He can't of got far.

There's a century in it for the face that spots him.

This really is most inconsiderate of Mr Sparrow, Mrs Rix.

We're over running half an hour as it is.

Well he has had a lot on his mind recently.

I sincerely hope it's not going

to be like this tomorrow.

Of that, I can assure you, your honor.

Yeah, never did like churches.

Get your boots on, Uncle Billy.

Me dogs are barking, love?

Right now!

[Billy] Oh well.

As for that Lukey, just wait 'til I get

my hands on that tripe hound.

It's all your fault.

My fault?

She don't mean it, Mrs Rix.

Yes I do!

We didn't want a church wedding, Lukey and Me.

You hold your tongue.

We wanted to get married quietly.

The first time you brought him home, I knew.

I took one look at him--

Yes, and you made that very obvious, didn't you?

Every time he stuck his nose to the door,

you had a go at him.

All those snide remarks.

You've changed since you've been

going out with him, my girl.

You've got a very nasty tongue.

Yeah, and you know who I get that from, don't you?

Oh!

He's even turned you against your own mother.

You've been a right old cow to Lukey.

Please, Miss Rix, remember where you are.

You keep out of it!

Oh I'm sorry, your highness.

I think perhaps we had better adjourn

this unfortunate gathering.

Maybe tomorrow we'll all be a little more composed.

But we're only half way through.

The boys will be in for choir practice any minute now.

[Linda crying]

And stop that sniveling.

♪ [Riff] ♪

[crashing]

[choking]

[dramatic drum rolls]

[groaning]

[thud]

[clanging]

[whipping]

You are nicked.

That horny little bastard who grassed me.

He's earned himself a spanking.

Nice one George.

Nearly had my bleeding suede off.

Lukey's done a bunk.

Don't blame him.

What do you mean?

Spooner's put the dogs on him.

How do you know?

He said.

He recons Lukey grassed him.

He'll bloody kill him.

If he's lucky.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

-[phone beeping] -[coins clanking]

It's me, love.

Lukey.

Where are you?

[Lukey] Listen, meet me at the park.

But Lukey--

Please, soon as you can.

[Linda] Where are you?

I can't talk now, just do as I say.

Meet me at the park.

I'll explain later.

Please Lin.

All right.

[Lukey] Don't tell no one.

Who was that on the phone?

Aunty Vi, she wanted to know

how the rehearsal went.

What did you say?

Nothing, I said you'd ring her back.

You didn't tell her about Lukey?

No.

Oh good, I don't want her round here

getting in the way. [laughing]

Where do you think you're going?

I'm going for a walk, I've got a headache.

You're not leaving this house!

That wasn't your Aunty Vi on the phone, was it?

Mom, I'm going for a walk.

That was Lukey!

What if it was?

You are not leaving this house, my girl.

Oh come on!

-Go on! -I'm only going

down the road.

You're staying in.

I won't be a minute.

I don't care how many minutes you'll be,

you're staying here.

I'm not having you going out meeting that good for nothing.

Now then, you're going to stay in here

until we get this sorted out.

[Linda sighing]

[tense music]

[tennis balls thwopping]

[bell ringing]

[ice cream van music]

In the front room, Uncle Billy.

You can just get back in your car and bugger off.

We wanna talk to Linda.

She doesn't wanna talk to you.

How about letting her decide that, hey?

This is harassment, this is.

-Mrs Rix-- -Excuse me.

Where do you want the wedding cake?

Give it to me.

Mrs Rix, Lukey could be in serious trouble.

Just stay out of my house.

Where is Linda?

Look, you heard me.

Out!

Oi.

Her mom's locked her in the lav.

Caught her sneaking out to meet Lukey.

Do you know where?

Hey?

Where?

Where what?

Where Linda's gonna meet him?

[Mrs Rix] Uncle Billy!

She's in a right mood.

Oh God, help!

Mom, help me!

Oh help me.

Hurry up.

Mom!

Help me!

Don't move, love.

[Linda] Hurry up!

All right, all right, don't look down.

It's okay, it'll be all right.

Don't look down, all right?

It's no use gov, we'll never get her down from here.

It's all right love, hold still.

You silly bitch!

Stay still, Linda.

Ugh!

This is all your fault.

Don't you ever let up?

[groaning]

Jammed.

Ladder, you got a ladder?

Next door have, he's a window cleaner,

but they're away!

Mom!

Won't be long, sweetheart.

What the bloody hell?

What's she doing up there?

Your mom locked her in.

She's stuck.

She was trying to sneak out and meet that Lukey.

We couldn't find him.

[Ray] Been looking everywhere.

All right, all right, hold up.

Bleeding hell.

Who are they?

Coppers.

The bill?

Just barged in, pushed me out the way.

What's your game, mate?

You're trespassing on private property.

-[clattering] -[groaning]

He did that on purpose!

You pillock!

[whacking]

One more word from you, and I'll nick ya.

[Billy laughing]

Nice little ding gov, ey? [laughing]

He struck my Ray!

What about Linda?

Mom!

Hey, how's the foot, son? [laughing]

What's occurring?

Right, you two are nicked.

What a pair of tear aways.

Mrs Rix, Mrs Rix.

Who hit her then?

Nobody.

She's sparked out, silly cow. [laughing]

Nick him and all.

[Mrs Rix groaning]

[Regan groaning]

-[Mrs Rix groaning] -[cake squelching]

The cake!

The bloody wedding cake!

[Mrs Rix screaming]

[slapping]

[Billy laughing]

[tennis balls whacking]

Lukey said I was to tell no one.

I know love, but you don't want him hurt, do you?

Of course not.

He will be if they get to him first.

We don't want him hurt either.

We've got a soft spot for Lukey.

Are you sure you're not saying all this

just so as I tell you?

No love.

Straight.

Lukey's in real bother if we don't find him, and quickly.

The park.

[Regan] Which park?

Round by the school.

I know it, it's not far.

Good girl.

You will let me see him?

Talk to him, alone.

[Regan] Of course.

-[tennis balls whacking] -[tense music]

You caused me a lot of aggravation, Lukey.

I never grassed no one, Stan, all my life.

Shut it!

There!

Hold it!

We tail it?

Screw it.

There's only two of 'em.

[groaning]

[groaning]

Hold up gov!

Where's Lukey?

[upbeat country blues]

♪ Well I could not take anymore of this ♪

♪ Had to go ♪

♪ Had to find me a man, yeah ♪

♪ Just got to go ♪

Not a bad day, George.

What about Lukey?

He'll be back.

You fancy the one?

Gov.

[dramatic drumming music]

Resync And Corrections By Chuck :D

Mellow Sweeney Theme