Original subtitles

(MultiCom Jingle)

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

(bells chime)

(peppy music)

(woman speaks indistinctly to children)

- [Margret] Oh, you like this?

- Come on, come on, let's go.

- [Margret] I think he wants my--

Hey, what are you doing?

John.

- Boy, you sure can kiss.

- [Short Haired Woman] Maya!

- Are you married?

- Oh, God.

- No.

Why don't we ask her.

It's as good as place as any and I want to make it official.

Margret Becker, will you marry me?

- Oh.

Oh, John.

You know you're the best thing

that's ever come into my life,

but have you given this some thought?

I love you, but, but, but,

what would people say?

- I don't care what people say.

And yes, I have thought about it a lot.

I want you to marry me.

Will you?

- Yes!

Yes!

I will, I will.

(children applaud and cheer)

- Hey, hey kids, let's give these guys a cheer, okay?

- [Children] Okay.

- Ready, and--

- [Together] We are the Indian from Camp Winnanoa

(children continue chanting)

We all give a cheer for you!

Winnanoa, Winnanoa, Winnanoa, whoo!

Winnanoa, Winnanoa, Winnanoa, whoo!

(children applaud and cheer)

- Thank you!

- [Short Haired Woman] Congratulations!

- Yes, thank you!

- [Short Haired Woman] That's wonderful!

- Thank you.

- [Short Haired Woman] Come on kids, let's go.

- [Margret] Thank you, kids.

(John sighs)

Glad my kids are grown.

- Do you think they'll come to the wedding?

- I don't know.

Gosh, I wonder what they're gonna think about all this.

- I'll charm their socks off.

- I'm not worried about you.

- Well, they're adults, we're adults.

It's not like I'm marrying a woman

with a bunch of crazy kids.

(peppy music)

- They never have anything to read.

Look at this, not a single tabloid.

- [Woman] It's a shame.

- You traveling on business or pleasure?

- [Woman] Business, you?

- My mother's getting married.

- [Woman] Well, I should think it's about time.

- Re-married.

I'm Dennis Becker.

- Debra Schab.

- Debra?

First love of my life was named Debra.

- Was she?

- So, where are you staying?

Ah.

I used to have one of those.

Pinched my finger, I had to get rid of it.

Now, back to the original question, Mrs Schab?

- You don't intimidate easily, do you?

- No, I don't.

(slower jazzy music)

(retching)

(toilet flushes)

(melancholy music)

- Here, I've got her.

- Well, thank you, Sister.

- Here we go.

- It's kind of rough, traveling with the kids.

We're going to Oklahoma to see my mom.

- Oh, I'm going to see my mom, too.

She's getting remarried.

- Jesse sure does like you.

She usually doesn't let anybody but me pick her up.

- I think children know when they're safe.

- You know, you really are a pretty lady.

No offense, but it's kind of hard to tell

with that nun thing on your head.

- Thank you.

(peppy music)

- Are we going to get to Grandma's?

- I don't know, sweet pea,

we're gonna have to take this old truck out and shoot it.

- Daddy, are we gonna have a new Grandpa?

- No, honey.

Hand me that 12 inch crescent.

Grandpa Becker is your grandpa.

- Is Grandpa Becker gonna get married again?

- I don't think so, sweet pea.

Grandpa Becker is happy with his roommate Sandy or

Susy or Cindy.

- Are you gonna get married again?

- Mom and Dad never got married, stupid.

Did you, Daddy?

- No, baby, we never got around to that.

And don't call your sister stupid.

- That's why Mommy left.

- No, that's not why Mommy left.

Alright, let's give this pup a whirl.

Battle stations!

Alright, give it to her!

(engine stalls)

(engine turns over)

Yeah, yeah!

Alright, keep it pumping!

Hey, hey, wait a minute!

Amy, put on the brakes!

- Life is so short.

You have to grab it every chance you get,

especially when you are young and attractive.

- And naïve?

(both laugh)

- No, no, no.

No, but do you understand what I mean?

About wanting it all?

- Yes, that's the secret, huh?

- I started out with nothing.

Now I have a condo, I drive a Bent,

I have a boat, I got it all

because I put out that intention.

- So what you're saying is

all I have to do is want something bad enough

and I can get it?

- Yes, yes, it is all in the intention.

- You know what I want more than anything right now?

- No.

- Are you gonna make me tell you?

- Uh-huh.

- Thank you.

Now do me a favor and crawl back

into whatever sore you came out of.

- I had something a little different in mind.

- I never would have guessed.

I swear.

Men are trash.

- Obviously, you've never met a real man.

- A real man?

I grew up with three real men.

I've been married to two

and known plenty more in the biblical sense

so don't you tell me about real men.

I could write a book.

And incidentally, men like you aren't even worth a footnote.

- You're only in town for the night?

- [Woman] Dennis?

Dennis!

Dennis?

- Annie!

How are you?

- Peachy?

- You definitely getting divorced?

- Would I be staying at Mother's if I weren't?

- Well,

we all get divorced.

Just sort of a family tradition.

- I've got you all licked,

I've done it twice by 24.

- Yeah, but your first lasted almost four years,

that's twice as long as mine.

- This one lasted only three turbulent months.

- Turbulent?

- Very carefully chosen word.

What is this?

- Now don't get grabby.

The stews on the plane is an old, dear friend of mine.

We're having dinner tonight.

- Well, I got some bad news for you, old and dear brother,

but Mother is waiting at home

with her...

- Fiance.

- Avoiding that word.

They're making dinner plans.

- Oh, hell, I can't change these.

Break her heart.

- Listen, I hope you're being careful

now that you're single.

- I protect the things I love.

- Spare me the details please.

- So, tell me about this guy Mom's marrying.

- Well, what do you know about him?

- Nothing, I haven't had a chance to talk to her about it.

- So you don't know anything about him?

- No.

- I think you and John are gonna have a lot to talk about.

(piano music)

- [John] What are you doing?

- Oh, when the kids were little,

if they made their beds before they left for school,

I always left kisses on their pillows.

You know, Dennis now, he would always try

to sell his to Andrew.

Andrew would always hide his for later

then never remember where.

And little Anne would, um, eat hers immediately

and then go crying to Mary

that I had never given her one until Mary surrendered hers.

- It means a lot, having them back here, doesn't it?

- Well, it's been a long time

since we've all been together in this house.

They're, um, all I've ever had, John.

It's important to me how I feel about this.

- I know.

And don't worry, it's gonna be just fine.

(glass shatters)

- What was that?

It's Grandma Fanny's fudge bowl.

She got it at her wedding.

- We're terribly sorry, we'll replace it.

And don't worry about the omen,

those are old wives' tales.

- Don't ask.

- Alright, don't ask.

- [Dennis] So is Mary here yet?

- [Anne] No, our Sister of a sister is taking the bus.

And Andrew gets in tonight.

- Ah, it'll never change.

- Except for Bambi in front.

(Dennis laughs)

- Where did those come from?

- John bought 'em for Mother

to give the place a woodsy look.

I swear, I'm living in Wild Kingdom with Marlon and Jeff.

- They're, uh, nice.

- That's polite.

I'd like to get a rifle

and blow this menagerie to ceramic heaven.

- Dennis.

- Hey, Mom!

- Oh, I was so afraid you wouldn't make it!

- And miss the blushing bride?

- [Workman] Alright, give me a hand, will you?

- [Dennis] You look great. - [Margret] Thank you.

- Whoa, I see you didn't go cheap, that's good.

A man who marries my mother had better have money.

Oh, look, I want you guys to do a great job.

This is a very special day for my mother.

And I want it to be perfect, okay?

- [Anne] Dennis.

- [Dennis] Make sure that happens.

- [Anne] Dennis. - What?!

- Dennis.

This is John.

- John who?

- John Hicks, the man I'm marrying.

- It's nice to meet you finally.

- Make sure you get your money back.

- Oh, here.

Welcome home.

You're exactly the way your mother described you.

- Yeah, you too.

- Well, I guess this is goodbye, Sister Mary.

- Oh, just Mary.

- Mary, I always liked that name.

It was my grandma's.

It means the sea of life.

- Really?

- That's what my grandma told me.

Well, have a good time at that wedding.

And don't get nervous!

You ain't the one getting married.

- No, that's true.

Well, you take care of these beautiful babies.

- Yes.

Come here, honey.

- Bye. - Bye-bye.

- [Boy] Bye. - Bye-bye.

- No, Mom, it's just, it's just,

he's so young, I'm sorry.

But it's just kind of strange to me.

- He isn't marrying me for my money, Dennis.

- No, it's the sex, Mother.

- [Margret] Anne.

- Your mother is a beautiful woman.

I don't think about her age, our age.

It really doesn't matter when you feel the way we do.

- [Dennis] How old are you again?

- I'm 39.

- Oh, that's not much older than you, Dennis.

- Thanks, Anne.

- You know, we have given this some thought, Dennis.

All of it.

- And you're just gonna tell me that it doesn't matter?

- It doesn't to me.

- And when you're 56, and Mom is 70,

and all your pals are hitting

on girls Anne's age, what then?

- I'll still love your mother.

- Well, all I can say is if you're happy,

if you're both happy, then I'm happy.

- Margret, are you happy?

- Deliriously. Are you?

- Mm.

- [Together] We're happy.

- You okay?

- Yeah, Mom, fine.

- I wish I'd told you before,

but it just never seemed right on the phone.

It's really important to me that you like him.

- I like him because he seems to really love you.

Just kind of hard to look at him is all.

Just gotta give me some time, Mom.

This isn't gonna be an easy road for you.

Especially as you get older.

- I know.

- You gonna be able to deal with it, all the

comments and the snide remarks and looks?

- I'll let you know when I get there, Denny.

If I get there.

First I have to live through a wedding.

- Oh, the truth is I haven't seen you look

this happy in long time.

He must be doing something right.

- Hey, we're all going out to dinner.

- Oh, Mom, I can't, I made plans.

- Denny!

- I wish I had known, Mom, I can't break these.

- Okay.

- Thanks.

Now comes the real test, can I borrow your car?

- Keys are in my purse.

- Thanks, Ma.

(crickets chirp)

- A day and a half.

- [Margret] Oh, there's so much left to do.

- I got it all organized and the caterers have my list

so don't worry.

I'm sorry Dennis couldn't go out with us tonight.

But it's nice to just be home here with you.

- Isn't it?

- Come here.

- Ah, oh yeah, oh yeah.

(sentimental music)

- I hope what he said earlier didn't scare you.

- But doesn't it you?

- Hm, a little.

- [Margret] He said he hasn't seen me

this happy in a long time.

- Well, marriage can do that for you.

- Yeah, or not.

Where you going, Annie?

- I think I'm too old to answer that.

- [Andrew] You tired of driving yet, baby?

- No.

- We got a big day tomorrow,

maybe you had better get some sleep

or your little butt's gonna be dragging, huh?

- Just a while longer.

Sing me that song, Daddy.

- What song?

- That one you sing me and Amy.

- Oh, that song.

♪ Lay your head down on my shoulder ♪

♪ I won't let the night get colder ♪

♪ I'll protect you ♪

♪ I'll be keeping ♪

♪ Trouble far from where you're sleeping ♪

♪ Until you wake in the morning ♪

♪ You got the world to yourself ♪

♪ Dream on ♪

♪ Dream of the world we're gonna live in ♪

♪ One fine day ♪

♪ Dream on ♪

(crickets chirp)

- Tony?

Hi.

- What the hell are you doing here?

- Well, I thought, maybe you were--

- You should have called first.

- Yeah, I came to get my clothes,

this is still my apartment.

Don't get up.

- [Tony] You checking up on me?

- You were screwing around the day

after we got married, I'm used to it.

- Hey, look, I want you out of here.

- And I want you run over by a bus.

If I could see it, I'd call it a fair trade.

- That's enough.

- I wish they could have been closer,

but they just all went their own directions.

- Well, it's not necessarily bad.

- You know, sometimes I feel like

they don't even know each other.

That's why I want them to feel like

our family is their family.

I want 'em to have that.

- [John] Our home will always be open to them,

you know that.

- I wish I could give you kids.

No, I don't.

- Just worry about being a wife, okay?

- [Margret] Dennis is right, you could be my son.

- I don't want a mother.

I want a wife.

- Denny, that you?

- [Anne] No, it's me, Mom.

- We're making omelets, you want--

you went over to Tony's, didn't you?

I'm calling the police.

- No, Mom, he's working.

Mom, you're not calling them.

- Oh the hell I'm not?

He's lucky if I don't kill him myself.

- Don't get your panties in a bunch.

I never should have gone over there.

- Baby.

You need some ice.

- And a glass with some scotch.

Mom.

Why do the Becker women have such rotten luck with men?

Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry.

(crickets chirp)

- Dinner was wonderful, thanks for asking.

Anne.

What the hell happened to you?

- She went over to Tony's.

- This is how we say hello.

Mom, would you go to bed, please?

You got a busy day tomorrow.

- So do you.

- Look, all I'm gonna do is have a drink with Denny.

And then, if you'll forgive the pun, I'll hit it.

- I worry about you, baby.

- Yeah, I worry about me too, Mom.

- Someday, you're gonna meet a man

who's right for you, Annie.

- The only man I wanna worry about right now is Denny.

Scotch? - Yeah, sure.

- Don't drink too much,

tomorrow's gonna be a long one.

- Yeah, don't sweat Mom, we'll be fine.

- Don't do it.

Night!

- Night, Mom.

- He hit you?

- Um, yes.

You don't get these from kissing.

It's, um,

it's not the first time.

- Yeah, well, I'm gonna pay old Tony

a little visit tomorrow with a baseball bat.

- Look, leave him alone.

It's my fault.

- [Dennis] How can you even think that?

- Because I gravitate towards pigs.

- There's a term for that, Annie.

- Yeah, bad taste.

And I just keep running back for more.

And right now, I just wanna get divorced.

(sentimental music)

- Trizzle trazzle, trizzle travel.

Time for this one to come home.

Welcome home, Andy.

Welcome home.

- [Dennis] He's not still here, is he?

- Are you kidding?

No, he stopped sleeping over when I moved back in.

Sometimes I tell him I'll be back at one

and then show up at midnight, just so I can catch him.

- Payback.

(Anne belches)

Oh, nice, took a lot out of you.

Get any on me?

- Oh, I am sorry.

Well, that was real ladylike.

- You gonna throw up on me like when you were little?

- I don't know, the night's still young.

You hear from Dad?

- I don't call him, he doesn't call me.

- You're just like him.

No, you are.

He's a sleep around kind of guy.

There's nothing wrong with that.

- Yeah, unless you're married to him.

Or an offspring.

- [Anne] At least he's happy.

- Who said I wasn't happy?

- I know misery.

I was the Queen of Misery in junior high

and I've been the reigning champ ever since.

So you can save your yuppie, I'm okay, you're okay crap

for someone who believe it.

- I'm not a yuppie.

- Oh please, you are a yuppie prince, buck-o.

- And what are you?

- Nothing.

A disco degenerate.

(engine creaks outside)

- Andrew? - Mary?

- No, no, no, Greyhound doesn't deliver.

- It's Andrew.

God, look at him.

- [Dennis] Well, open the door.

- No.

No, I'm gonna get Mom.

(sentimental music)

- Hey, hey, hey.

- [Andrew] Hello, stranger.

Good to see you.

- Prodigal son returns, look out.

Oh, you're faster than you used to be.

- No, you're just slower.

- Oh, it's sad but true.

It's good to see you.

- Well, I'm hanging, I'm hanging.

- It's Andrew!

My kangaroo, oh, welcome home, welcome home.

- [Andrew] It's good to see you.

- Yeah, you too, you too.

Where are the girls, they asleep?

- Oh yeah, they're in the truck, come here, come here.

- I'm putting them in the family room, Dennis.

- So you haven't said hello.

- Hello.

- Oh, what happened to you?

- I took up face tennis.

- They've gotten so big.

- Mm-hmm.

Kind of puts your mortality in perspective, doesn't it?

- Tell me about it.

I'm in a room full of adults and they're all my children.

It's been too long since you've been home, Andy.

- [Andrew] Mom, don't.

- I want a nightcap.

- [Margret] Oh, Anne.

- What happened to her face?

- Her ex, Tony, hit her.

- I think we should pay him a little visit.

- You boys stay out of it.

- [Andrew] How does Anne always get hooked up

with guys like that?

- I heard my name.

- Oh, we were just saying horrible things about you.

- Anne, don't you think you've had enough?

- Mom, relax.

You're getting a little uptight as we near the big day.

I have my brothers here,

I have a reason to celebrate.

So.

How's Florida?

- What, the state?

- I'm trying to be cordial, don't screw it up.

I'm asking you how you are.

- Fair.

You know.

- You're still as fascinating as ever.

- What do you want to hear? My life isn't that exciting.

- Who says, I just figured after ten years,

we'd have, what, 15 minutes of conversation?

- Alright, let's not do this now.

I asked you kids back here to support me, to be my family.

- Yeah, we are your family.

Lucky you.

Look, I don't know why you dropped out of Harvard

and took up boat painting in Florida

but don't come here and pretend like everything's cool.

- That's it, you to bed.

- Mother, I'm a little old for you to be--

- You are living under my roof

and you will play by my rules.

I'm not asking that much of you, Anne.

Of any of you.

I'm bringing a new man into this family

and I don't want it to be like this.

- Look.

It's late, so,

why don't we all just turn in.

- Yeah, it's late.

It's too late.

(quiet piano music)

(phone rings)

- Yeah, hello.

Mary, hi.

Yeah, I just got in a while ago, uh-huh.

Yeah, Anne and I, we already got into it.

Yeah, right, welcome home.

So where are you?

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I think I remember where that is, uh-huh.

(man clears throat)

- Andrew!

I've missed you.

- I've missed you, too.

Come on, I've got the car parked over there.

Judy didn't say anything when she left.

It was just a note that said

I need space.

Hell, we're living in South Florida,

how much more space do you need?

- How are the kids handling it?

- I don't know.

They don't talk it about much with me.

But then again, maybe I don't want to hear it.

Well, enough about life in the sunshine state,

how are you, you look great.

Even in uniform.

- Habit.

- Is it?

Ba-dum-dum-ching.

- That was a lousy set up.

I'm fine, really good.

- Good.

- Yes, good.

- Uh-huh.

Come on, tell me.

- What?

- You have always been the worst person at keeping a secret.

What are you shrouding with that innocent smile of yours?

Well?

- I'm really hungry, you wanna eat?

- So talk.

- [Mary] I'm eating!

- Oh, come on, I'm sure these patrons of fine dining

won't mind if you talk with your mouth full.

- It's kind of involved.

I'm giving up my vows.

- Your vows?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second.

Your vows?

- I'm not going back.

- But you're a nun, nuns don't just abandon their faith.

- It's not my faith, it's my vocation,

the direction of my life, I'm changing.

I prayed over this for a long time, I know it's right.

- God, I hope so.

It must take a strong woman.

- You wouldn't believe.

But.

- [Andrew] But what?

- I haven't told Mom yet.

I was gonna tell her this weekend,

I don't have any other place to go right now.

- You haven't told Mom yet?

- No, and you're not gonna tell her.

I wanna tell her when the time is right,

she has enough on her mind right now.

- Yeah, well don't sweat me telling her.

You just promise you won't say anything

until I'm miles away from here.

You know, she's always been real proud of you.

Oh, Mary, this is gonna kill her.

(birds chirp)

- [Margret] Annie?

- No thanks, Mother, maybe some toast.

- I'll take it.

- Thanks.

- [Margret] Morning.

- Denny!

- Hey, Mary, how are you?

- [Mary] Glad to be home.

- She was up at 6:30 this morning throwing up.

Andrew took her out for hamburgers.

- And how are we feeling this morning?

- Groovy.

Remind me to murder you.

- Amy, Jersey, breakfast!

- How do we say good morning, ladies?

- [Together] Good morning!

- They're beautiful, Andrew.

- Oh, thanks.

- Daddy, what are all those things on the wall

with your name on them?

- Your scholastic awards.

- Oh, why don't you get rid of those?

- Those were given to your Daddy for being smart.

- You were smart?

- Yeah, baby, a long time ago.

- Hey, what do you say after breakfast

we go shopping for dresses?

- [Together] Yeah!

- At Discount Barn?

- No, someplace else.

Go and eat your breakfast.

- Thank you, Grandma.

- Oh, you never know when those blue light specials

are gonna pop up in aisle six, huh, Andy?

- I don't want you to buy them a bunch of junk today, Mom.

- That's a grandmother's privilege.

- God, aren't weddings fun?

I'm planning on having one every three years

so I can keep up with the latest in household appliances.

- Food!

I haven't eaten since the plane yesterday.

- I thought you had dinner with a friend last night.

- Yes, Dennis, I thought you had dinner with a friend.

- We sort of got sidetracked.

Pass the cream, please.

- I'll bet you did.

- John, does he have a family?

- Uh-uh, no, he's an only child.

Gosh, just think this time tomorrow night,

I'll be a married woman again.

I hope you're all going to accept John.

- As long as he's good to you.

- If he doesn't sleep around on you like Dad did.

- Try chewing, Mary.

- I'm making a pig out of myself.

- No, you're not, you eat.

You're too thin.

- I tried to put a few pounds on her last night,

but I guess she just can't handle her cheeseburgers, huh?

- Well, hell, the boat painter makes a stab at humor.

- Anne, get off his back.

- Why is it every time I say anything to Andy,

somebody cuts me off?

I mean, we all want to know what he's been doing

the last ten years, I'm not afraid to ask.

- It's his business.

- Well, Mom, I'm sorry.

I thought we were supposed to act the family

for the next few days.

- We are a family.

- Mother, please, this is a table full of strangers.

- Can we just eat, please?

- Look, you may all think I'm the bitch here,

and I really don't care,

but let's at least come clean with each other.

- I'm gonna go eat with my girls.

- You stay right where you are!

And you, shut up!

Everybody else, eat.

Eat!

(clink of cutlery)

- Mom, is this really the way you want it?

(Margret slams glass)

- None of this is the way I want it.

- We're really making this easy on her, aren't we?

(car engine turns over)

Morning. - Morning.

- [Man In Sports Car] I'll see you later, honey.

- What time will you be home?

- Right after my meeting.

- Have a nice jog.

(dogs bark in distance)

- Well, he's younger and I'm not 100% sure about everything.

But I love him

and I'm committed to him.

I know you understand that.

You've certainly stuck with your calling

and I'm proud of you for that.

- It hasn't been easy.

- I guess it never is.

I'm scared.

You know, when your father left,

I just never thought this would happen again.

And now, John's giving me a second chance.

I really want it to work

and maybe I'm crazy but I sort of wanted

my kids behind me in this, you know,

not blocking my way.

Don't put that away, we're gonna use it at the reception.

- Mother, we love each other,

it's just hard because we haven't been together for so long

and it takes time to readjust.

- I know.

And I do think I was planning on using you all

to fall back on, which isn't fair of me either.

But, you're all I've got, except for John.

He's unflappable.

- You deserve somebody like that.

- You.

Oh, you.

(sentimental music)

You're a lot like him, you know that.

- Need any help?

- Know anything about old Fords?

- Ah, sure, where the key goes

and where to put out the cigarette.

- Yeah, that's just what I thought.

- Hey.

Andy, about this garbage with Anne, why don't,

why don't you make up?

For Mom's sake.

- No problem with that.

As long as Anne minds her own business.

- Just think about it, alright?

It's too bad we all weren't closer,

make these family deals a lot easier.

- Yeah, well, at least we don't sit around,

telling each other lies.

- I spent half my life lying to myself.

The other half trying to believe it.

- [Andy] Yeah, I can't lie anymore.

Girls call me on it.

Kids are good at that.

- I want you to see this.

Where were neighbors like this when we were growing up?

Man, I'll tell you, ever since Pam and I split,

I just, I can't get enough.

- Yeah, Judy leaving had the opposite effect on me.

Well, don't let me stop you.

Just see if you can get your horns clipped.

Doesn't work,

well,

I'll leave the cold water in the shower running.

(car engine grates)

- Here.

What do you think?

Well, actually, this is yours. - Mom, they're beautiful.

- You don't hate 'em?

- No, they're great!

- Oh, I just think you'll look wonderful in 'em.

- [Amy] Nana, Nana, how do we look?

- Oh, get out here, turn around, let's see.

Look at that.

- I think you guys look great.

- I do too!

- Do we get to keep these dresses?

- [Margret] Well of course, they're yours!

- Their father can use them as rags to clean a boat.

And, okay, Mom, I'll tell you what,

we'll try these on, see how they fit.

- Wanna look at some more dresses?

- [Girls] Yeah!

- I don't know why she didn't take me with her

when she picked these out.

We're gonna look like we're going to the prom.

- Oh, it's just one day, we'll survive.

This is pretty.

- Yeah.

If you got no hips.

I'd look like I was wearing a Volkswagen.

It'd look good on you, though.

- Maybe I'll buy it.

- Well, now, what would you do with that? Seduce a priest?

- I'm not going back.

- Where?

- The convent.

- Do I want to hear this?

(emotional music)

- Okay, I wanna know.

How can you just not go back?

- It's a long story.

- Well, I got all afternoon.

(Mary sighs)

- I'm pregnant.

- You're pregnant.

That's a pretty good reason to not go back.

Mary, you're a nun.

How can you be pregnant?

I guess this is the long story.

This is, this is crazy.

I mean, you're pregnant and you're skinnier than me.

- I'm starting to show a little.

- Who's the father?

- After I decided to go,

I met a man working with kids at the mission.

He's very nice.

- I'm sure.

Yeah, I always think very highly

of any man who deflowers a 27-year-old ex-nun virgin.

Are you gonna marry this guy?

- No.

- Um, I wanna

drink and a cigarette.

Mary, what do you know about raising a kid?

What do you know about getting a job?

And surviving in the world?

You've been a nun for eight years.

(emotional music)

This is, this is crazy.

The dress looks great.

Get changed, okay?

- Anne.

Anne, what did I say?

- Nothing.

I've been married twice.

And I don't have anything to show for it.

Except a couple of bruises

and this

annoying

sense of humor.

And you come waltzing back home,

no husband,

and you're having a baby.

I want something in my life

to work out.

I want something to hold on to.

- Annie, that's what this baby is for me.

- But you always had your faith.

- I still have that.

But I want more.

I want to bring life into the world,

is there something wrong with that?

- No.

No.

I guess I just wish

I had the guts to get what I want.

- [Mary] You haven't hugged me like this for a long time.

- Well.

You've never been pregnant before.

I'll break your back.

- [Margret] Mary, Anne?

- Yeah?

- [Margret] Oh, how are the dresses, do they fit?

- Uh, mine does, I'm not to sure about Mary's.

- No, mine fits fine, Mom.

- If it's too big, we can have it altered.

- No, it's fine.

(Mary cackles)

- [Andrew] Well, well, well.

- Daddy, you should see all the stuff Grandma got us.

- Yeah, you should see all the stuff.

- [Amy] Come see the dresses, Papa!

- Oh, in a second, sweet pea!

I asked you not to buy them a bunch of junk today.

- Well, I'm just making up for lost time.

I never get to see them, Andrew.

- I know, but I can't get them a lot of things,

it makes it hard on me.

They've got what they need, they're happy kids.

- A couple of dresses isn't going to spoil them.

- Well, I taught them the many advantages

of the credit card.

They were amazed at how naturally

I abused my charging privileges.

It got them very excited.

- Well, I guess everybody needs something, don't they?

- It's rough having such shallow relatives, huh, Plato?

Keep an eye on your mailbox.

I filled out the applications for 'em.

Cards should be there within a month.

- Don't let her get to you.

- Be alright, Mom.

- Mrs. Becker?

We have a problem.

- Oh, how nice.

Thank you for coming to me with it.

I'll be so glad when this is over.

- [Workman] You know that gazebo

that's supposed to be done by tomorrow?

- [Mary] Andy, can you give me a hand?

- Yeah.

Oh my God, Dennis is in there.

- Where?

- In the house!

- [Mary] What's he doing in there?

- He's about to get his head smashed in, that's what!

He's with that guy's wife!

I got to get Denny out of there.

You keep that guy busy.

- How?

- I don't know!

Seduce him.

- I don't know how!

- Well fake it, okay?

- Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Hi.

I just love your house.

It's a great color.

- Funny, most of the neighbors hate it.

- Really?

Because I think that that color says

that you're a man of strength and conviction.

- Previous owner painted it.

- Oh, and look at your lawn, it's so beautiful!

I mean, you must really take care of the things you love.

(dog barks)

- You're such a jerk.

And I can be a bitch.

- The sleekness and the lines!

- Stop rubbing it, please,

I just hand waxed this Sunday, please.

- Hand waxed, I knew it!

Is it fast?

- Of course it's fast.

- I love it fast.

- What, are you nuts?

Get out of my car.

(suspenseful synth music)

- [Andrew] Dennis!

Dennis!

- This is nice!

And leather, real leather, I love leather!

- Mary, what are you doing?

- Annie, come and look at this leather.

Go ahead, touch it!

I have never felt leather like this before in my life!

Get in!

- Can you get her out of my car please?

- Whee!

- Mom!

- Whoopee!

(toilet flushes)

- Dennis!

(Dennis and woman moaning)

Dennis!

Dennis!

(Mary makes car noises)

- Mary, what are you doing?

- I can feel the wind whipping through my hair!

(Mary continues to make car noises)

- Mary, I want you to get out

of Mr. Haverson's car and come home.

- Mom, get in, all of you, get in!

And we'll cruise the river front!

- Dennis!

- [Dennis] Andy, is that you?

- Her husband's home, come on!

- [Woman] Mark?

Oh God, he'll kill us!

- The washing machine was great,

we'll have to do the dryer next time.

- Come on.

Nice to meet you.

- Oh, I just love this car.

Mom, get in

and we'll burn some rubber down the driveway.

- I want you to tell me what in Hades' is going on!

Mary.

Mary.

- I wanted to go driving.

But since no one will go with me,

I'll just go home and take my medication.

- Oh, Mr. Haverson.

Don't have kids.

- [Anne] Bye.

- You owe me, you owe me big.

- You, in the house.

- [Mary] Not a chance, not a chance!

- This family is totally beyond me.

Especially you.

(door slams)

- One more day.

Alright, just one more,

and that's all I ask.

And I'm not even gonna ask what you were doing.

- Well, I'll tell you, Mom--

- I said I don't want to know.

- That's what I was gonna tell you, Mom,

you don't want to know.

- No, you don't want to know.

- I thought I could count on you.

How do you expect those other two to behave

if you two are acting like...

Will you just act normal?

Especially you, Mary, set an example.

- I'm sorry, Mom.

- Mrs. Becker?

What should we do with these things?

- Alright, I'm counting on you.

Now I have to go tell these men

what to do with their things.

(both chortle)

- You weren't gonna tell her?

- Crazy!

I had a great story.

- You always did.

- You used to push me for hours out here.

- It's because if I stopped,

you'd tell Mom or Dad I hit you.

- Hey.

Push me.

- How are you fitting your butt on that little seat?

- You shut and push or I'm gotta tell Mom you hit me.

(peaceful music)

Andy.

- Yeah?

- Why did you stay down there?

- I was tired.

- You know,

when Dad left, you were my security.

Been looking for that in a man ever since.

You hurt me when you fell apart.

- I didn't fall apart.

Do you know what it's like to spend your life

living up to someone else's expectations?

I'm not a failure.

At least I don't feel like one

until I start looking at myself

through everybody else's eyes.

Dammit, I'm happy.

I have two great kids I love more than life itself.

I like Florida and what I do.

Isn't being happy what really counts?

- I don't know.

I don't know much about happiness.

- Yeah.

Well.

Find it in yourself before you look

for it in someone else, kiddo.

- Will you hold me a second?

- Yeah.

- Oh.

Where are the men like you?

- You don't want anybody like me, believe me.

- I don't know what I want.

I know what I don't want.

And for that I'm like a magnet.

- Just forget it.

Forget about all of it.

Just

just swing.

(crickets chirp)

- Alright, everybody, let's go, come on.

We have reservations.

- Do we have to go to La Contesse?

It's one of Tony's hangs.

- It's John's favorite restaurant,

he's paying for this evening.

I don't want to hear another word about it.

- That's right, he's getting

the Becker clan in one big dose,

it's gonna be hard enough on the poor guy.

- Mom, do I have to wear a tie?

- Oh, Andy, honey, yes, wear it for me, for me.

- [Andrew] Only because it's your last night as a Becker.

- Once a Becker, always a Becker.

- Mary.

- What, well, Hell,

if nuns are gonna start dressing like that,

I'm going back to church.

- Let's go, let's go, come on, come on.

Put that on in the car, let's go!

- Don't!

- [Carhop] Evening.

- Hi. - [Carhop] Hi.

- Yeah, thanks.

Listen, uh, keep it near the exit.

- You always drive like a lunatic?

- Only when I want to drink.

- Oh, no, by the way, no drinking, not tonight.

- Get serious, Mother.

- Anne, don't.

- I am very serious.

I don't want any of you giving John

a hard time tonight, especially you, Anne.

- We'll be fine, Mom.

- Okay, I hope so, I'm counting on it.

Alright, let's go, we're late.

John's in there waiting.

- Probably slept here last night

to make sure we got a good table.

- Okay, okay, okay, that's it, that's it. Now listen to me.

We're leaving that sense of humor out of here, alright?

We're gonna go in their tonight like a family

that is happy, that its mother is marrying

this man tomorrow, alright?

No comments, no comments, no discussions, no jokes.

We're gonna go in there,

we're gonna have a good evening,

polite, cheerful conversation, great food, no liquor.

Alright, I want you, I want you

all put on your nice happy face.

And we're gonna have...

Smile, dammit!

Good, okay.

Now, have fun.

- This'll never last.

- So I took 'em on a little fishing trip to the Ozarks.

- [Dennis] You have a place there?

- I have a small cabin on the lake.

I believe in a good mix of business and pleasure.

- Oh, you have to enjoy it or why do it?

- Well, I figure if you're gonna work

with somebody that long, it might as well be my friend.

- I agree.

- Especially if they're women, right, Denny?

- Anne, why don't you eat and let us talk?

- You sound like one of my husbands.

Maybe both.

- So, uh, Mary,

how did you end up in a mission in Arizona?

- Oh, I asked for the assignment.

- It must be rewarding.

- It was, is. It is.

Are you gonna finish that?

- We could just get a bucket

and strap it to your face, Mary.

- [Anne] So Mom, where are you two

gonna be living after tomorrow?

- Oh, at the house.

There's more privacy there than in John's condo.

- Nana, can we have our ice cream?

- You eat the rest of your food first.

Don't give me that look, girl.

- I'm buying dinner, she can have ice cream if she wants.

- I don't care who pays.

Sorry, Mom, you know the rules.

- Well, I think a little discipline

at this table should be welcomed.

- I think you may be right, Anne.

- Or maybe everyone just needs a little drink to loosen up.

Margaritaville, Andy?

- Eat!

- Sorry about all this.

- Well, there's nothing to be sorry about.

Dinner with my family, we all had to be silent.

This is kind of fun.

- Come on, John, tell us how you really feel.

- You know, we could show him how it used to be, Anne.

I could turn you over my knee.

- I'm just giving John a little insight

about the family he's marrying into.

- Just the one he needs to hear it from.

- Dad, I ate all my dinner.

Can I have some dessert?

- Finish that last bite of potato.

- I can't finish all of this!

- Then where are you gonna put the ice cream?

- I saved room for ice cream.

- [Mary] I'll finish it.

- No.

Will everyone just please let me deal with my own kids?

- Andrew, you've gotten so domestic.

- Butt out.

Please.

- I'm sorry, John, this is--

- How it always is.

So just get used to it.

- Anne.

Let's dance.

(smooth jazz music)

- Dad, I can't eat all of this.

You ordered me too much.

- Alright young lady, private conference,

come on, right here.

- I'll just finish this so Andrew won't be so mad.

- Why is she so afraid of letting him

see us like we really are?

If she thinks it's gonna be howdy-doody time

whenever we get together, she's crazy.

- She's nervous, would you let her get through tomorrow?

Get that chip off your shoulder.

- Hey, no lectures.

Okay, I'm glad you're back,

but don't start playing big brother now.

- I'm not.

But I am Mother's son, so I'm warning you.

- You're warning me?

- I'm warning you, watch what you say!

- Kiss off!

We got into this by birth, not choice,

so don't you start pushing me around.

Mom, I'm going to the bar and I am having one drink.

Now I am too old to chastise or spank.

I said I wouldn't drink in front of you

and I won't but I am having a drink.

Thanks for dinner.

- You're a real piece of work, Anne.

- Just save it for somebody who cares, Denny.

- Mom, let her have one drink.

- We are the only people in the world

who would put up with her crap.

- Dennis, we have little ones present.

- And Mom, they've heard it before.

- Dad says the F word.

- Jersey, would you just--

Alright, who ate all her food?

- Mom, everything's going to be fine.

- [Anne] What did you call me?!

- Know that voice.

- [Restaurant Goer] Waiter? - [Waiter] I don't know.

- Hey, you're lucky it isn't gasoline.

Tony, let go of me!

Tony!

- Tony?

- That's it.

- Hi, you must be Tony.

- Yeah.

- Hi, I'm Andrew, I'm Anne's elder brother.

- Oh yeah. - Yeah.

You know, we've never met before, but I gotta tell you,

it's nice to meet a man

who knows how to put her in her place, you know what I mean?

(bluesy music)

You ever touch my sister again, I'll kill you.

- Andrew, that's him behind you!

- Yeah, hold this.

- That's enough!

You break it up!

You too, pal, stop!

- [Jersey] Daddy! - Wait, honey!

(man screams)

- Get back here.

You'll get yourselves killed!

Get back here and be safe!

- Denny, watch out!

- Don't touch her, she's pregnant!

- Stay!

Mary!

Hey, are you deaf?

She's pregnant!

(applause)

- [Amy] Way to go, Grandma!

- Honey, why didn't--

- [Policeman] Okay, that's enough.

- [Policewoman] Let's go.

- [Policeman] Put your hands on the bar.

Get over there, move!

Hands behind your back.

- This guy's over here, breaking four tables.

- [Policeman] Settle down.

- You have the right to remain silent.

- Where were you ten minutes ago?

- Welcome to the family,

you've passed the initiation.

Got some bad news for you, though.

- What, there are more children

in this family you haven't told me about?

- No, they were drowned at birth.

No, bad news is you're not gonna get

a ring over that finger.

- Yeah, that's great, isn't it?

- Bet Jersey got her ice cream.

Cops always give those girls ice cream.

- Your girls have been in jail before?

- Oh, yeah, they've been with me on some of, uh,

my bad nights.

I hope the cops gave my girls ice cream.

- I hope they gave Anne some.

- Um, you got an extra?

- Can't you afford your own?

- Yeah, I could, but they won't let me out

so I can run down to the 7-Eleven.

- Anne.

Stop acting like Ida Lupino and come sit down.

- Thanks.

It does feel like the Late Late Show in here, doesn't it?

- Do you ever stop?

- Well, some of us are all talk, some of us are all action.

Okay ladies, here's the plan.

Mary, you and me are gonna start a brawl,

and when the guard comes to break it up,

Mom, you jump him, grab his gun,

blast out the menfolk, take to the road.

We'll be the Becker gang.

You'd be Ma Becker.

(Mary cackles)

You don't like that, huh.

- I wonder what John's thinking.

- Probably questioning him under hot lights,

beating him with a hose.

Yeah, okay, I'm gonna go over there

where the company's a little bit less uptight.

- You haven't said anything.

(Margret sighs)

- What am I gonna say?

I'd always expected so much for you, Mary.

And from you.

I feel like we let each other down.

You not telling me, letting me help you with this.

- Mother, this had nothing to do with you.

It was just me.

- You weren't happy with your calling, huh?

- Yes, I was happy.

But I want more.

(touching music)

I mean, I just didn't go into this with no thought.

It didn't just happen.

I want the baby.

- I know you're just following that

inner spirit.

(Margret sighs)

There are other realities.

- Mother, you're getting married tomorrow.

How can you be so sure you're doing the right thing?

You can't.

And I can't either

and yes I'm scared and I have doubts.

But we have to follow our hearts.

I want a daughter.

So I can share with her

all the things you've shared with me.

- Me too, baby.

Me too.

Oh, baby.

Me too.

- Becker family.

You're out of here.

- I wanted to see what they served for breakfast.

- We could leave you in here.

- Yeah, no.

(Anne hums)

(dog barks in distance)

- Are you alright?

- I'm so sorry.

About everything.

- Forget it.

It's gonna be alright.

- No, it's not.

(emotional music)

I can't do it.

- What?

- Can't do it, John.

- What are you talking about?

- I can't marry you.

- We have friends coming in a few hours.

It's been a hard night, you're just tired.

- Mm-mm, it isn't that.

You and I,

oh, John, it won't work,

my family has made that so clear.

- Your family doesn't scare me.

- John, they're just too different.

They all still need me.

And I won't do it to you, it's not fair.

- I want you to be my wife.

- John, you love me now,

but Dennis is right, you know,

in ten years, you'll be 49, I'll be 63.

And in 15 years--

- In 15 years, we'll have 15 wonderful years together.

- No!

Because you're the one

that's gonna get hurt in the long run.

I didn't want to admit it because I love you.

I do love you.

I just can't marry you.

- Margret. - No.

I'm sorry.

- No, that's not what it is!

- [Andrew] Yeah, we'll see what you think in the morning.

- Hey, where's Mom?

- Upstairs.

Just stop where you are.

- Why don't you guys get ready for bed, huh?

- Margret has called off the wedding.

I've never said anything

about what you put your mother through.

Because I didn't feel it was my place.

But now you've turned my life upside down.

Now dammit, I want that woman to marry me

and because of all of you, she's doubting it.

I'm not gonna let you come in here and ruin this for us.

You're not gonna take away what's become

the most important thing in my life.

- John, we're so sorry.

- Look, just give us a minute with her, okay?

(melancholic music)

- We got it.

- If, um, you hear any screaming,

it's just us trying to kick some sense back into Mom.

(knocking on door)

- Mom.

Mom, we are really sorry for all of this.

- Yeah, especially me.

I know I'm a pain in the butt

but don't blame yourself.

My problems are my problems.

- Same here.

- And Mom, we're adults now.

I know we may not act like it all the time, but we are.

- Oh, I know that.

This is my decision.

- Then why are you letting us make it for you?

- Because having all of you kids back shows me

that marrying John is wrong.

You still need me.

- But Mom, you can't take care of us forever.

It's time to let go.

- When you have that baby,

you're going to need me.

- Mother, the baby's gonna be my responsibility.

I'm gonna have to raise it,

and one day, I'm gonna have to let go, too.

- That's the key, Mom.

Let go.

And we're hopeless anyway.

- When Dad left, you held this family together.

You always made sure that we had this house to come home to.

I don't know how you did it, but we always came first.

- That was my choice.

- And you did a great job.

We had every opportunity we ever wanted.

And now it's your turn.

Why are you letting us stop you?

- Well what do you want me to do?

- Not ask that question.

- You love John, don't you?

Then don't worry about what anybody else thinks.

We'll always be around for you.

- Whether you want us to or not.

- John's a great guy and he's downstairs right now,

waiting for you, and because of us,

I'm afraid that you're gonna let him go

and I don't want to be responsible for that.

Although I wouldn't mind being responsible

for getting you two back together.

I bought you a great wedding gift, Mom,

I really don't want to return it.

- And I want to catch the bouquet.

- Follow your heart, Ma.

I did, look where it got me.

- Marry him, Mom.

Marry John.

Have a great life.

Show us it can be done.

- I love you, baby.

- [Denny] Oh, I love you, Mom.

- I love you all.

- Even me?

- Don't press it.

(all laugh and chatter)

(dog barks in distance)

- Aren't you gonna try and sleep for a few hours?

- No, I'd never wake up.

- Smell the honeysuckle?

- Mm-hmm.

- Stars are all fading.

Kind of makes you realize how unimportant everything is.

- Nah, it's not unimportant, it's just complicated.

Are you gonna stay around here?

- Yeah, I think so.

- What are you gonna do?

- Well, I have some skills.

- Do you wanna share a place?

- I'm gonna have a baby.

- Well I can be the father.

It doesn't look like I'm gonna be a mother anytime soon.

- I'd really like that.

- No wind this morning.

(wind chime dings)

- You're here.

- Come here.

- No.

- No, come here, I just wanna tell you something.

- [Anne] No, no!

- You are so flip, all the time.

- I know, I'm castrating.

Men love that.

- And you, keeping secrets?

- What, I was gonna tell,

it's just that big mouth here blurted it out.

- We decided to name the baby Jesus.

Well, we figured with Mary as the mother

and no father in sight,

no, it'd be very historic!

- She's such a pain.

- Why wasn't I invited to the party?

- [Dennis] Invitation's in the mail.

Well, I've crashed before.

Don't mention it.

- Did you get the kids to sleep?

- Yeah, they were pretty wound up.

- Oh, they really sank their teeth into Tony.

(all chuckle)

I hope he scars.

- Kids are great.

- Yeah, they'll always come to your rescue.

- Oh, and look how you all came to mine?

- Did you think we were gonna let that jerk manhandle you?

- Yeah, nobody messes with this family.

- I never thought I would see us

all sitting together like this.

- Well, we've all gone in different directions.

- Yeah, we've been pulled there.

But we're here now.

All that really matters is

where you're at at the moment.

(emotional music)

What?

- Yeah.

Now will you pull up a chair so you can massage my feet?

- Good idea.

(Margret moans in distance)

- Is that Mom?

(all laugh)

- This is so juvenile.

- Oh, I can't handle this.

- This family needs major help,

you guys just left me there!

- Do you know what that was?

(wedding march plays on organ)

- [Andrew] She's beautiful.

- [Anne] When do we tell 'em we're moving in?

- After the papers are signed.

- No, let's not tell her, let's just surprise her.

- Okay.

- You're not coming within miles of us.

- Could we have some reverence, please?

- You're talking to the wrong family, Padre.

Just launch into the questions,

we'll say "I do" and we'll jump to the reception.

(peppy music) (laughter)

- We're ready.

(laughter and applause)

(excited shouts)

- Family picture!

Okay, come on, family picture,

yeah, that's it, get in the center.

Family picture, family picture.

Where's Mom?

- Wait a second.

- Come here. - You, you're in this.

- Come here.

- Come on, Mom.

(everyone chatters excitedly)

(camera clicks)

(emotional music)