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BERLIN BLUES

Whose dog is this?

Whose fucking dog is this?

Listen, you. I'm tired. I've been working all night.

I want to go home.

I don't have time for this bullshit.

That's good. Lie down.

Have a nap!

Have a nice nap.

Sleepy dog, good dog.

Sweet dreams.

Have a nice little nap.

Shit! Somebody get this dog out of here. Goddamn it all!

You shut up.

You're annoying me.

Oh, who cares? Bloody hell.

This is whiskey.

For Karl. I don't drink this stuff.

But, hey...

...shit happens.

What's your name?

Bello? Bruto? Bruto-Bello?

What are some dog's names again?

Fido! Wopsie! Mr. Boots! Idaho Potato!

Ah, shit.

I could just brain you with this. Be a shame about the bottle, though.

That gets your attention, huh?

You're that type?

OK, here we go.

Not so easy, is it?

Come here if you want.

What are you doing there?

The dog attacked me.

Really? Doesn't look that way.

No problem, guys. I'm on top of it.

He's completely drunk.

Get up.

I can't. Look here, the damn dog!

Is that your dog?

No, it's not my dog, damn it.

He's totally drunk. - We've established that.

I mean the dog. - What?

The dog is totally drunk.

Right, up with you. - It's animal abuse!

You should be ashamed, that poor animal.

Poor animal! It was self-defense.

Let's see some identification. And quickly!

You're Mr. Lehmann? - Yes.

You'll be hearing from us. Now out of here before I do something I'll regret.

It's animal cruelty!

It was self defence. He started it.

Get out of here!

I hate cruelty to animals.

They should be locked up for it.

Hold it tight, man!

Fucking dog! I'll have to go to the doctor's.

Yes? - Frank, is that you?

Yes, mom.

I almost hung up,

but I figured you couldn't be out of the house yet.

You work so late.

Exactly. It can't be more than 10.

Wrong, Frank. It's already 10:15.

Since you know I work nights...

Nobody sleeps at this hour. I've been on my feet since 7.

Why? - I always am!

Yes. But why?

What do you mean 'why'?

Frank, what's going on?

I can barely hear you.

Is there something in your mouth?

A tongue, mom. Better now?

No need to yell, I'm not deaf.

Why have you been up since 7? Why are you calling at 10...

...to tell me you've been up for 3 hours? Why, mother?

That's not the point right now.

What is the point, mother?

We're coming to Berlin! To see how you live!

Hey Frank! Come on in!

Hello, Herr Lehmann. - Hello, Heidi.

Hello, Karl. - Frank!

Take a seat. I'll be right with you.

The tables are all taken.

Sit with somebody. Meet new people.

Sitting with strangers sucks.

Then sit back there.

That's the staff table.

Frank, stop making a fuss and sit down, for God's sake.

You can't sit there, it's only for staff. - Exactly!

It was just a joke.

Herr Lehmann can do whatever he wants. Sit down and relax.

You look worn out, Herr Lehmann.

Very nice of you to say so, Heidi.

Using the familiar 'you' and calling me Herr Lehmann is an awful combination.

Drink up, Herr Lehmann. Dehydration is a drinker's worst enemy.

That's the grossest thing I've ever seen.

OK, what do you want to drink? - Dunno.

How about a beer?

Yes, get him a beer before it's too late.

You look tired.

You need to eat. What do you want? Think of your electrolytes.

Pork roast.

You can't order pork roast at 11 in the morning.

Who says?

Nobody eats roast pork at 11.

We have a new cook, a woman.

What will she say if I ask for pork roast at this hour?

She's a chef. She trained. You can't push her around.

How is roast pork pushing her around?

You're afraid, aren't you?

You're afraid of the woman in the kitchen.

I'll get her and you can negotiate yourself.

Me, afraid of the woman in the kitchen!

So you're the idiot who thinks he can order pork roast at 11 a.m.?

Yes, I'm the idiot who thinks he can order pork roast at 11.

If it's OK for total idiots to eat breakfast until 5 p.m.

...then it should be OK to order pork roast at 11.

I'd put it differently.

With the world is full of assholes eating breakfast until 5 p.m.

...why do we need fools ordering pork roast at 11?

What's the big deal with pork roast?

It's leftover anyway. Just cut a slice, put gravy on and microwave it.

It's leftover anyway. Just cut a slice, put gravy on and microwave it.

How about if I tell you there's no pork roast left over from yesterday?

And that the one in the oven needs at least another hour.

And until then you can have bloody breakfast...

...like all the rest of the bums here...

...with the usual bloody cold cuts and cheese...

...and the rest of the bleeding stuff people eat.

And that you'd have to wait at least an hour for pork roast.

Then what would you say, smart aleck?

I'd say that the roast is surely done enough so you could cut a slice off.

Forget the crispy part, it's overrated anyway.

And I don't need dumplings.

I'll take home fries, which you have anyway for the breakfast bozos.

I'd say pour some gravy on it and Bob's your uncle.

That's what I'd say, smart aleck that I am.

So the crispy part is unimportant.

Vastly overrated.

Are there any more like you around?

Not that I know of. - That's a relief.

Well, maybe I should wait just a bit.

Of course, I could take the half-done roast out and mutilate it.

Just for you. - Forget it.

And next we could serve half-cooked potatoes all round.

Please, forget it. Everything's OK.

I'll have a beer or... coffee, or... the newspaper.

Don't drink so much. The day just started.

Pretty chef, whose name I don't know. Pretty chef, whose name I don't know.

Yes, I do. I do too.

It's triplets. They take after dad!

Knock, knock. Sometimes I wonder what's going on in there.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Here. Compliments of the pretty chef. - Thanks.

May I smoke? - Doesn't bother me.

It's not really proper. - I'm easy.

Why are you sitting here? I thought it was only for staff.

I work for Erwin too.

Aha. What do you do?

I work at the Einfall bar.

What do you do there? - Work the bar.

Aha. Work the bar.

And you think that's good?

What do you mean, good? - Do you think it's good?

Standing behind a bar and pouring alcohol down people.

How is that a fulfilling life?

Fulfilling? What's that? Fulfillment?

You think life is a bottle, a glass? Or maybe a bucket, which you fill up?

Maybe it's a giant keg. Or a barf bag.

It's just an expression.

Just an expression. It's an idiotic metaphor.

In reality, life is a container that's full when you get it.

It's full of time. There's a hole in the bottom and time seeps out.

If you're intent on talking containers, that's the way it is.

I wasn't talking about containers. - But about fulfillment.

Once you start, you need to think it through. Words need to be considered.

What does working in a bar have to do with fulfillment?

That's bullshit. You just live and enjoy it. That's enough.

Christ! How can anybody get so worked up over one word?

Anyway, that's no kind of career. You can't just work in a bar.

Now we're getting to the point.

So you can't just work in a bar? Why not?

Maybe barkeeps fulfill other people.

'Open wide, here's your fulfillment.' Basta.

How crude. Either fulfillment is poured in, preferably alcoholic.

Orit runs out the bottom. - Time, exactly!

Think of it this way: when you're drunk, time passes more slowly.

No, faster.

Bullshit. Things around you move fast when you're drinking...

...because in your head, time passes slowly.

That's total garbage. It's exactly the opposite.

Time passes faster, because when you're drunk...

...you only grasp about half of what goes on.

Bullshit. That's only if time is absolute. Look at an hourglass.

Sober sand runs through faster than drunken sand.

So time is slower for the drunken sand. - Drunken sand?

It's just a metaphor.

You get worked up over words like fulfillment...

...and then start in with drunken sand. That's total drivel.

Hey you two lovebirds. I see you're getting acquainted, but you're...

...needed in the kitchen.

Karl, listen, when you're drunk, does time pass faster or slower?

Faster! - Slower!

That's it? You're some pair.

Answer, Karl, it's important. - Faster!

I say slower because in your head...

Frank! Katrin's needed in the kitchen!

Slower. - Faster.

Katrin and I are going swimming later. Want to come?

Since when do you swim?

All the time. I have a season pass. It's a bargain.

Yeah, I'll come. - You swim too?

Hey, Herr Lehmann's going swimming? - I swim well.

Hey, you! Yes you, you chump!

No drugs in the bathing area, and no peeing near the pool!

Hello, Herr Lehmann. - Hello.

Get us 3 beers, would you?

Coffee and 3 beers please.

Schultheiss or Kindl beer? - Schultheiss or Kindl?

Whatever. - Whatever.

Keep the change.

The combination of Herr Lehmann and the familiar 'you' is fucked up, guys.

Where are your swimming trunks? I wanted a good look at them.

What are you idiots doing here? - We're always here on Sundays.

Since when do you drink coffee? - I'm working today.

We all are.

It's gotten chilly. - Indeed.

Summer's over, I guess.

I want another beer. You, Herr Lehmann?

Yeah, why not. - What are you looking at?

I thought I saw something.

Herr Lehmann sees more than we do.

That's why he got out of the pool so fast. He saw something.

That was very athletic, Herr Lehmann.

Look at this bunch of slackers!

I knew you'd all be here.

Don't you ever sleep?

Hello.

Hello. Are these your colleagues from the tavern?

Colleagues! And Herr Lehmann's place is not exactly a tavern.

We've all worked for Erwin at some point.

Right. Who hasn't?

But no more. Today is our grand opening. So we're setting the mood.

Opening of what?

Of course, a bar. A fulfilling one.

So you're on a mini busman's holiday?

I'm only drinking coffee.

I thought you wanted a beer.

No, I'm working today.

Been swimming yet? - No, I, um...

Oh, but he was.

Too bad. I'd like to have seen Herr Lehmann swim.

It was brilliant. He's like the Mark Spitz of Kreuzberg.

Well, I'm going in.

And you're working today? - Yes, later.

Maybe I'll come by. Is it nice?

Kind of hard to say.

Maybe see you later then. - See you.

Who was that woman?

The new cook at the Market restaurant.

She's her own best customer.

Three hundred and five...

Nine...

Ten... - Keep the change.

I'll get going before Erwin comes.

He kills me, Herr Lehmann. - I'm Frank, you gay Eastie!

Ooh, you're so manly today, Herr Lehmann!

Oh God, here comes Erwin!

How was the early shift? - Evening, Erwin.

It was quiet. - I don't know why I bother opening.

So I have work, Erwin. So I don't starve.

Go on, make fun of me, you chumps.

Hello.

I'm going upstairs to freshen up.

Can you manage alone?

It should be fine, Erwin.

I'd like a weiss beer.

What's that weird music?

One of Sylvio's tapes.

That's Acid House. They take drugs and fuck in their own shit.

That's bullshit, Erwin. - It's true. Hans told me.

Make sure there're no drugs here.

They just closed down a bar in Schoeneberg, Hans said.

Got it, Erwin.

I'm serious. They all snort coke like magpies.

Pilfer. - Who pilfers?

The expression is pilfer like magpies, not snort coke.

Whatever. Just so nobody does it here.

Got it, Erwin.

A beer.

Herr Lehmann, the bitters belts!

One last round!

Hey there! Over here!

Shit, now my feet are wet. - Hello.

Want a drink? - I was on my way home.

Plus my feet are wet. And my hair.

We should do something about that.

You're a weird guy. I never know what you mean.

I don't either. Here, have a sip.

I just opened it.

So this is where you work.

Yeah. This is the Einfall.

I didn't know. I live right around the corner. There's no sign.

That's true.

We should tell Erwin. - Yes.

I'm going home to change.

Good idea.

Put that joint out!

I'm off then.

See you. - See you.

Give it here. Put the spliff out.

It's just a cigarette, man.

Don't mess with me. Joint out or get out!

He needs to piss off.

Why? Let him finish his beer. - Let him piss off.

You heard him. Maybe... - Lay off, man!

Piss off!

You're a pair of jerks.

Get out, now!

That hurts! Ouch!

Listen. Promise me you'll piss off when I let go.

I promise!

I let go and you get lost. - Yes!

You stupid jerk!

I'll smash your face in, you jerk!

You stupid jerk!

Never, never do that again!

Apologize to Herr Lehmann.

Apologize to my friend, Herr Lehmann.

It's OK, Karl. Let the jerk go.

You're lucky I arrived before Herr Lehmann got serious.

Piss off, maggot.

I'll get you, you bastards.

Let's go in, I'm wet. - You need dry things.

Erwin, I'm glad I bumped into you.

You're the last thing I need. I have a nosebleed.

I see. The nose, that's rough. Can we go upstairs for a sec?

We need dry clothes for Herr Lehmann.

I have a nosebleed.

I see that. But let's go upstairs.

Then we'll go to Marco and Juergen's new place.

We have something to celebrate.

We can't. - Why not?

I'm busy. - With what?

Frank, just close up and we'll go upstairs and get you dry things.

Don't you ever sleep, Karl?

How can I sleep with the trouble you guys get into?

No rest for Super Karl.

Come on, close it up, and let's get going.

One more weiss beer. - No! We're closed!

What?

I thought maybe now...

I'm closing up, do it yourself. - That's fine.

That was great before. - What?

The earthing.

It was the 'Kreuzberg Screw'.

That's good. The Kreuzberg screw.

I just thought of that.

I see you freshened up.

As long as you're happy.

The Abfall Bar. Very funny.

Brilliant, Herr Lehmann.

What did you call it? The Kreuzberg screw?

Kreuzberg screw. You should copyright it, Herr Lehmann.

My round.

No, my round. We're celebrating.

Who is that guy with the weiss beer?

Don't look now. At the corner table. - No idea.

He's strange.

Of course he is. The world is full of strange people.

Eat up. Think of your electrolytes. You'll thank me tomorrow.

Karl, remember that other guy who always drank weiss beer?

What was his name? - Lager Juergen.

Right, Lager Juergen. What about him?

He was something, Lager Juergen. What happened to him?

He's dead. - How?

Dunno. Anyway, that guy's weird.

How so?

Sitting around and drinking. We should keep an eye on him.

Terrible, of course, Erwin, sitting and drinking. Not your thing.

Frank, what's up anyway with you and Katrin?

What do you mean?

He's an undercover cop, checking the bars for drugs.

You at the pool. Very suspicious.

He's not like Lager Juergen.

I mean, the whole city knows you hate exercise.

The whole city! No way. - Yes.

He's not like Lager Juergen.

You'd never mistake Lager Juergen for a cop.

You're the only one who thinks he's a cop, Erwin.

Nobody cares about smoking pot.

You don't know anything. They'll close down the Einfall.

By the whole city, I mean the whole city.

Even if they close the Einfall, you're filthy rich...

...you've got 20 other places, what do you care?

Thank you.

I'll sell it all off. Tomorrow.

What's with him? - He wants to sell everything.

Who? - Erwin. Really?

I'd buy the Einfall. But only if Herr Lehmann is included.

I bet you would.

But I'd sooner burn it down than have you get it, you snake.

Those are hard words, Erwin. So what's going on?

Erwin thinks the guy at the back table's a cop.

He thinks they're watching his bars for hidden drugs.

He's in The Market a lot too. - Exactly.

He reminds me somehow of Lager Juergen. How is he, anyway?

He's dead.

Really, how? - No idea.

Weird guy. How does that type become a cop?

Why do you all think he's a cop?

He drinks weiss beer, without lemon. - Because of the drugs.

Hans says they closed down two bars in Schoeneberg.

Before you said one bar, suddenly it's two.

Whatever. Don't stare, Herr Lehmann.

Listen, either use the familiar 'you', or call me Herr Lehmann.

But combining them is...

Careful... -...really revolting.

...careful, he's looking.

He can't see - he's plastered.

Exactly. If he took drugs, he wouldn't get drunk so fast.

I don't understand.

You don't have to. That's what I like about you. You don't understand a thing...

...about drugs and stuff, but you understand everything.

I don't understand.

Maybe somebody should talk to him. Unobtrusively.

Herr Lehmann should do it. He's the most unobtrusive of us. Except to women.

Yes! Herr Lehmann can find out. - What?

He'll talk to the cop. - Herr Lehmann is a hero.

To Herr Lehmann! - To Herr Lehmann!

But be careful. He's a pro. He'll pretend to know nothing.

What's his name, anyway? - No idea. Volker?

We can call him Weiss Beer Volker. In honor of Lager Juergen.

How is he anyway? - He's dead.

Why? - No idea. Erwin told us.

I'll go over as if I'm going to the john. Completely unobtrusively.

Right.

Think of your electrolytes.

But be careful. - I will.

3 more beers, Marco. - On Erwin.

Hi there. I'm just off to the john. What's your name?

Rainer. My name's Rainer.

So what do you do?

Why? - Just wondering.

You're not with the police, are you?

No. What makes you think that?

Just asking. Another weiss beer?

Yes, thanks.

Right, I have to go, my beer's getting warm.

I'm Rainer.

Got it.

How was it?

What did you talk about?

Stuff. His name is Rainer.

We could call him Weiss Beer Rainer in honor of Lager Juergen.

Did I mention we're celebrating? - No.

What did he say? - We have something to celebrate.

I'm going to have an exhibit uptown in Charlottenburg. In a gallery.

Really?

God, does that mean we all have to go up to Charlottenburg? Shit.

So what did he say?

He's a weird guy somehow.

I told you. Is he a cop?

It's in Knesebeck Street, you assholes.

A cop. I knew it. I knew it.

To Herr Lehmann. - To Herr Lehmann.

A true hero.

Let's go celebrate somewhere. On Knesebeck street. Charlottenburg.

Well.

Or just to my place for a nice, cold beer.

Karl! Your place is this way.

Since when do you have cold beer?

We'll work it out with the woman, too.

Stop talking shit.

They'll be a romantic evening for two, organized by Karl.

Thanks.

Science fiction.

She loves science fiction.

What?

Star Wars!

Oh God, no. So you can't even take her to movies.

Look at the stars.

There aren't any stars, Karl. It rained.

At least look when I say something.

Time passed without Herr Lehmann making any noticeable progress

with Kathrin, the pretty cook at The Market Restaurant.

Defeated, Herr Lehmann put his destiny in the hands of his best friend, Karl.

I'm going to get a beer.

Move! - Out of the way!

Real cineastes, eh?

I've got to go to the john.

Why are you getting chips? She's eating popcorn.

Popcorn. You picked a smart woman there. She thinks about her electrolytes.

I wouldn't really say I picked her.

And I'm not going back in. It's pointless.

Sometimes you have to go through hell.

But you don't know that. Because you've had it too easy with women.

This is teeny shit. Star Wars!

And it's embarrassing to see you playing the matchmaker.

Matchmaker? - Yes.

OK. It was a bad idea. She's stupid.

Not that I really have anything against Star Wars in general.

It's a matter of taste. It does have something.

I see! - Yeah.

What are you doing here? - We, uh...

We got to talking.

Is the film over?

No. But soon.

Then they're showing the second one, which I don't think is that good.

It's got boring spots.

But there's that scene where... where she says to him, uh...

I love you.

Right. Then he says 'I know'.

And then he gets frozen.

Oh. Right.

What Herr Lehmann is trying to say...

...is that maybe we should just go around the corner.

Visit Sylvio? He's working at the Blase Bar.

Why did we come here?

What do you mean? It's nice.

That's not the point.

It's a gay bar.

You have a problem with gays? - What makes you think that?

Listen, I've known you for a few weeks and it's unbelievable.

You have a problem with breakfast, with tap beer, with cafe au lait...

...with bars with candles on the table...

And, if I've got it right, with a certain Herman the Cheruscan.

So why shouldn't you have a problem with gays?

I have nothing against gays. On the contrary.

All the roman emperors including Diocletian were gay.

Or at least bi. Except for Claudius and Septimius Severus.

Who's Septimius Severus?

Forget it. He doesn't belong here anyway. Just like us.

Or are we gay? Is Karl gay?

Sylvio's not happy to see us here. And his boss is really pissed.

Shove over. - Who's his boss?

Leather Lily over there.

He said one beer with the woman - with you - was OK.

Then we have to go somewhere else. - They have a problem with women here?

Bunch of idiots.

It's a gay bar. The idea is for gay men to be by themselves.

They can't just throw me out because I'm a woman. I think it sucks.

I said nobody's throwing anybody out.

Hey, look!

Is he gay too?

You never know.

Hi.

Hello. Have a seat.

No, we're expecting somebody.

Who? - Klaus.

I'm Rainer, by the way. - Katrin.

Hello.

Come here often?

No, why?

Just wondering. Bring us more beers when you get your weiss beer.

OK.

Where do I know him from?

He makes the rounds of the bars. Drinks weiss beer. Filtered.

With no lemon.

Sylvio, I meant what I said. No more beer for the heteros.

One last round.

Look at Herr Lehmann. We need to cheer him up. What's going on?

Yeah. What's up with you?

My parents are coming to Berlin.

That sucks. - It could be fine.

They want to see where I work. I told them I manage a restaurant.

Listen, guys. It's not me, but my boss, Detlef...

Detlef? Leather Lily's name is Detlef? Fabulous.

Shut up, Karl.

It's a gay bar, he says, and he doesn't want straights hanging out.

OK. We're leaving soon.

We leave when we feel like it. I know the law. Gays have no special rights.

I wouldn't throw Detlef out of the Market Restaurant.

We're just going, Sylvio. - We go when we feel like it.

I'd never have thought it could be such a problem here.

It's not about thinking.

Leather Lily hasn't thought in years. Except about the next pick-up.

Karl!

OK, folks. That's it. Everybody out.

The bottles stay here. And take the fat lady with you.

Piss off, asshole. Or I'll report you to the Better Business Bureau.

Well, well, what have we here? Mr. Better Business?

Report me on behalf of whom? The muff-eaters guild?

That's it. OK, doll. You first. Out of here.

What do you want, lowlife? Come here, you weirdo, you.

This is nuts.

Frank!

And don't let me ever see your asses here again!

To the Savoy! For a schnapps.

Shit, shit, shit. You're OK, Herr Lehmann.

You too, Karl. Picking me up at work was a nice gesture.

Let's go. Schnapps all around. To the Savoy!

What's up, man?

Great, the Savoy. The Savoy's good.

All rounds on Super Karl.

Why go to the Savoy? It's across town!

So what? - I think I'm hungry.

I know a nice place on the canal that's still open.

Good idea. You guys go eat. Rainer, Sylvio and I will go to the Savoy.

No. I think I'm hungry too.

No, no. You're coming to the Savoy. They have grilled cheese sandwiches.

Or you can drink an unfiltered weiss beer. As good as a slice of bread.

I'm hungry now too.

Do you always get what you want? - How so?

Dunno. You seem like somebody who always gets what he wants.

Well, I don't want much.

Not much?

So this is not much, or what?

Well...

You wanted it. You planned it from the beginning.

I love you, you know. That's the point.

Pass the ashtray, would you?

I think everybody underestimates you. They think you have nothing going on.

What's to underestimate? I'm exactly who I am.

Did you really mean that before? - What?

That you love me.

Of course. I wouldn't just say a thing like that.

I hope not.

Now you're branded.

Shall we eat in bed or in the kitchen?

In bed.

What's wrong?

I just don't know if I love you.

I do, somehow.

But I'm not really in love with you.

I don't get it.

I mean, I definitely love you.

But being in love is different.

It's not different at all. If you love somebody, then you're in love.

Not true.

Loving somebody is general and whatever.

But when you're in love, it's totally in the moment.

You mean one is chronic and the other acute.

Huh?

Like chronic bronchitis and pneumonia.

That's too unromantic for me.

Next up, the guided tour!

We hope he'll be here soon. - I'm looking forward to it.

Hello, Mom. - Ah, Frank!

Okay, see you later.

Hello, Mum.

Frank, these folks are from Bremen.

You're all sweaty. And you're a bit smelly, too.

Yes, I had to run. The bus didn't turn up.

Did you have a good trip? - Kind of.

We've been on our feet since 3:30.

It took 7 hours from Bremen to here.

And what with the GDR police...

It took so long. And to think they let them do checks!

Why are you here and not in your room?

The city tour's about to start. You're coming, right?

A guided city tour?

Yes, it's all included. It takes three hours.

I thought it'd be nice if you came. - A guided tour...

It's not really... - He already lives in Berlin!

I wouldn't do it in Bremen.

Why not? They can be interesting.

Stop it, Lotte. He doesn't need it.

It's only West Berlin, anyway.

East Berlin might be interesting for him.

But we should do something. We never do anything together.

We're going for dinner tonight. At my restaurant.

Tonight? But it's the variety show!

Variety show? But you wanted to see where I work.

He's right, Lotte. We'd agreed to it.

Sure, we can go for dinner with him.

We'll strike the Variety show.

Right. He planned the dinner, so we'll go there.

I just meant that it's included in the price.

Frank! You're smoking!

If I'd known you smoke

I would've brought some cheap ciggies from the GDR.

Yes, I heard you can buy them in East Berlin.

At the 'intershop'. Anyway...

we'll eat with him tonight. The variety's not important.

But it's got trannies and stuff. You can't see it anywhere else.

Have you got a girlfriend? - Me?

Lotte, give it a rest!

Why? What's wrong in asking?

He's not queer. - No one said he was!

Then there's no problem in asking.

So we'll have dinner in my restaurant. It's all planned.

Sure. If you say we agreed to it...

Pull yourself together!

Here he is! Hello, boss.

This way, boss.

You don't have to call me boss, Karl.

Good evening. - Evening.

What are the candles for?

An employee suggestion for an improvement.

It's nice.

Right, wonderful. Finally candles.

Yes.

Good evening. - Evening.

May I? - This is nice.

Not that, it's my bag.

Come on.

Thank you.

What do you want to drink?

I'd recommend the good one.

The good what?

The '86. - The '86 what?

Red wine.

Oh, yes.

I'll go open it, so it breathes.

A nice young man.

What do you recommend, Frank?

The roast pork is very good.

Pork roast! I can make that at home. Don't you have anything more exciting?

Mom, this restaurant is famous for its pork roast. Famous!

I'll have it. - Me too.

I don't know.

It's lovely stuff.

Is the pork roast good?

Good is not the word! It's so good, some people eat it for breakfast.

Is it crispy?

Let me ask the chef. - No!

He's getting the chef. He should know himself. Cheers.

Excuse me, could we get the same wine they're having back there?

Nope.

Can I help?

Is the pork roast crispy?

Right, the crispy question. Yes, it's crispy.

Mine is never crispy.

Some people think crisp is overrated.

This is Katrin Warmers, by the way, our cook.

These are my parents. - Pleasure.

Good evening. - Evening.

Your son is a great boss. And a top expert on pork roast.

Cheers. You don't have a glass. Sit down.

Thank you.

Boss, I'll have a sip, OK? - Sure.

Heidi. - Glass!

I'm keeping you all from work.

As long as the boss doesn't mind.

As long as it's in the interests of finding the truth.

Thanks. - Cheers.

I just want everybody to be happy.

He's a great boss.

And a true strategist among managers.

Oh! You? You?

Cheers. - Cheers... boss.

Can I take your order now?

Where are you going to take it?

To the kitchen? ls there anybody in there?

Routine is imperative, boss. That's your golden rule.

He constantly impresses that on us.

I'll take the roast pork, too, if it's crispy.

Me too.

Yes!

Three orders of roast pork.

I always put a little garlic on my pork roast.

I do too. That's more important than the crust.

To garlic.

Cheers.

Do you smell that?

It smells like... burning.

It's coming from the kitchen.

I don't smell anything.

I'm going back to the kitchen to prepare 3 orders of roast pork.

Nice of you to come out.

But of course, for the boss's parents. Your son is an expert in many things.

Expert? I don't get it.

Nothing to get, mom.

So, my dears. Here's something to munch on.

Put lots of salt on it. Remember your electrolytes.

What did he mean?

No idea. Sometimes I feel like firing them all.

Cheers. - Cheers.

A tiny more drop.

How can you live here, Frank? With this wall?

Don't you feel completely trapped? It's everywhere.

Trapped? It's the others who are shut out.

Wouldn't you like to visit East Berlin?

There's a lot happening in East Berlin.

It's supposed to be really interesting.

What's this obsession with the East?

OK, folks, eat up.

That looks good.

Could we have some more of this?

Uh, I don't know if we have another one. Perhaps a beer?

No, the wine is lovely.

Why the candles? There's no blackout.

Is it good? - Yes, thanks.

This is Erwin Kaechele. He's the owner here.

And these are my parents.

A wonderful restaurant you've got here. The pork roast, too.

Good.

I'm sorry to interrupt, but could I speak to you, Herr Lehmann?

Of course, Erwin, I'll be right there.

Why does he call you Herr Lehmann and use the familiar 'you'? That's silly.

I know, mom, I know.

I don't know what's going on here, but you seem to be doing very well.

It's really nice to see you again, Frank. - Thanks.

Cheers. - Cheers, dad.

How is it? - Good.

Delicious.

So do they pay you well?

As the manager, I mean?

Manager doesn't really mean much.

Even if you're not the manager, we love you.

As long as you're making it.

I think this place is great. Such nice, amusing people.

Cheers.

Cheers. - Yes, we're an amusing people here.

I'll just go see Erwin. - Right.

Karl?

Karl, could I have another weiss beer? - Weiss beer?

Cheers, young man. Come sit with us.

Weiss Beer Rainer is starting to get on my nerves.

I'm Lotte. And Erich. - Here's a little more of the crispy part.

Herr Lehmann, I'm worried about Karl.

Why?

He's screwing up. It's been chaos here lately.

He has an exhibition uptown. He's a little bit out of it.

Get back to your parents. They're busy adopting Weiss Beer Rainer.

He's having some kind of a breakdown.

No way!

He's so funny.

That's my seat. - Get yourself a chair.

I'll be back later. - Thanks.

I'm going back to the kitchen. Goodbye. It was nice to meet you.

Goodbye. Good luck. The pork roast was wonderful.

Goodbye. - Goodbye.

A nice girl, a very nice girl.

Have you known her long? - Why?

Just wondering. Cheers.

Frank, we need to talk to you about something.

What?

You have to do something for us.

We won't have time.

What?

It could be very interesting. - Yeah.

What is it?

You have to go to... East Berlin.

Hey, Karl. You'll never get that to Charlottenburg.

East Berlin. - What?

East Berlin. - What about it?

I'm supposed to go there.

Shit. This is all shit. When?

Tomorrow. Family reasons.

I'm supposed to meet a relative and give her 500 marks from grandma.

Katrin's coming later on. We have to meet up somewhere.

The World Clock. - What?

The World Clock. - What world clock?

No idea. But people always meet at the world clock in the east.

What do the communists want with world time?

Anyway. Katrin's excited about seeing East Berlin.

Shit!

What the hell are you doing?

What do you think of all this?

It's very... magisterial.

Magisterial? Magisterial, how?

Well...

You called it 'magisterial'. There's nothing worse.

Nonsense. You've been working too hard; you've lost perspective.

Frank, you know what I like about you? - No.

That you haven't got a clue about art and all that. No clue.

You should take a shower. You stink.

See! That's what I mean. - I know.

So, once again. What about this money?

It's from my grandma. I'm supposed to bring it to an aunt in East...

...in the capital of the GDR.

That would be... I can't read this.

Who wrote it?

My grandmother.

It says Helga Bergner. And she's a citizen of the GDR?

If she lives in the GDR, she must be a citizen of the GDR.

Why didn't you declare this money...

when you were asked if you had anything to declare?

Because I didn't know I had to.

I don't know anything about customs tariffs in the GDR.

If you're not familiar with the GDR customs tariffs,

why did you try and smuggle this money past the GDR authorities?

I didn't try to...

I didn't try to smuggle money. Really, if I wanted to smuggle something,

I wouldn't put it in an envelope that my grandma labeled...

with the name and address and all. I'm not stupid.

Don't get wise with us. We'll be the ones to judge your acts.

But I didn't do anything.

Why, when you were asked if you had anything to declare,

did you not ask the comrades about the regulations;

That is, why did you not leave it open and inquire before saying no?

Could you repeat the question?

Why, when you were asked if you had anything to declare,

did you not ask the comrades about the regulations;

That is, why did you not leave it open and inquire before saying no?

I didn't say no. I said 'not that I know of.

No. - No what?

'No, not that I know of.. That's what you said.

Not just 'not that I know of. You said: 'No, not that I know of.

It's just a phrase. But you don't have to interpret it as a definitive no.

That's almost malicious.

Are you accusing the customs authorities

of the German Democratic Republic of malice?

No. Not. I'd never dream of it.

Then think before you speak.

Now we'll put this on the record.

Interrogation of Lehmann, Frank.

Citizen of the independent political unit of West Berlin.

Date.

The money? OK, fine.

Hi. This is Katrin Warmers. I'm not in.

It's me, Frank. I'm back. I'm worried.

Are you still in the East? I'll try the restaurant. Bye.

It's me, Frank. Do you have any idea where Katrin is?

No. But you need to get here right now.

Something's wrong with Karl. An emergency!

What happened?

Erwin was here for a meal.

And Karl started on him, talking weird stuff like how Erwin owes him money.

Then Karl smacked him one.

Now Erwin's doing Karl's shift at the Einfall.

But what happened? Why did Karl do it?

I don't know. It was horrible, as if he were a stranger.

Weren't you supposed to be in the East with Katrin?

I'm back. Do you know where Karl is now?

No idea. So what's up between you and Katrin?

What? - Are you a couple?

Right. Hang on a sec.

The check, please, miss. - Ours too.

OK.

It's me again. I'm out and I'll try you again later. Bye.

I'm going to Bali this winter. I'm not spending another winter here.

Alone?

No, with 2 other people. They market Indonesian clothes.

I might get a job with them.

Good idea, Bali.

But back to Karl. Any idea where he might be?

He's been a mystery to me for a while. But I think he has a girlfriend.

I'd know if he did. - No, really. She runs a bar, the Savoy.

Hey, Frank?

Are you and Katrin together? - Why?

I was just thinking, if you're not, come to Bali.

What would I do in Bali?

Just a change. Could be fun. You need a change, you look tired.

That won't work, Heidi. - Why not?

Bali's not my thing.

Miss, the check please! We're in a hurry.

Us too!

Heidi, you're OK.

Nice of you to notice. - I always knew it.

Nice of you to say it.

I'm going to look for Karl. - Do that.

Look at that wretched mess. That's why he comes here.

Could you ask him to call me when he wakes up?

He'll split as soon as he wakes up. Lately he always does.

I don't even know anymore why I let him in.

It's hard to understand. - What do you mean?

After all you've said. - I'm not putting up with it anymore.

If you talk to him before I do, tell him not to bother to come back.

OK.

I'm fed up. - OK.

Tell him. Never again. - Good.

It won't be a problem for him. He'll never call again.

How long have you known each other?

You mean how long have we been together?

How long we've been fucking, or what?

Yeah, like that.

2 years. 2 years wasted. He never mentioned me, did he?

Sure...

It would be better if you took him with you right now.

Maybe I should.

You'll never wake him up. I've tried plenty of times.

Well, I can't carry him.

Take care.

It's me. I'm worried about you now. Because of the East.

I'm on my way to work at the Einfall. Call me. Please. Thanks. Bye.

Hello.

I'll take kofta. And some of the green stuff.

I'll take kofta. And some of the green stuff.

This? - Yes.

OK. - And tea.

Sit down, I'll bring it.

Hello. - Hello.

I'd like a soda pop. - What?

Soda pop.

I'll take one too.

And then some gum. Those. Is it garlic gum?

Is it garlic gum?

Thanks. - Thank you.

Oh, shit! There's Lehmann.

I'll be right there, OK?

Frank, I know what you're thinking.

I'm not thinking anything. Why should I be?

Listen, I wanted to...

Excuse me, but sit down please.

It makes me nervous when you're standing and I'm sitting.

Where's the cop going? Lost his appetite?

Quit it. I told him I wanted to talk to you alone.

So talk.

What are you doing here anyway?

I thought you went to your aunt's in the East.

They took the money and sent me back.

Why, were you consumed with worry? Did Weiss Beer Rainer offer to help?

Or did he just happen to be in the East to rescue you?

Why do you want to know?

What kind of stupid question is that? Why shouldn't I want to know?

I wanted to take a trip to the East with you.

Then I was arrested, interrogated, they took my money and turned me back...

And, idiot that I am, I was worried about you.

Then you turn up here, nuzzling and cooing with Weiss Beer Rainer.

It raises a few questions. Like where in hell you found him, or he found you.

If you must know, I met Rainer in East Berlin.

At least he made it over the border.

And what was he doing there? Trailing you like a puppy dog as usual?

Or maybe he had some cop business over there. Is he a spy now, or what?

One kofta with green stuff.

He's a programmer. - Oh, now they're called programmers.

Stop this nonsense. I met him completely by accident.

Accident! Accidental encounter with Weiss Beer Rainer in the East!

Yes. But that's not the point. - That's not the point. What is, then?

I don't feel you have any claims on me. - Claims?

Did I say anything about claims? - No, but you're acting that way.

What am I doing?

I told you how it is. I told you from the start that I wasn't in love with you.

What? You said 'I'm sure I love you'.

No. I said of course I love you, but I'm not in love with you.

That's just like the East.

That's the same fucking argument as the East German guards.

What exactly does that mean?

And what does it have to do with Weiss Beer Rainer?

Or do you just love him but aren't in love with him either?

Oh, Frank.

'Oh, Frank'. What does that mean 'oh, Frank'? Frank the poor sucker?

'Oh, Frank, what will happen'? 'Oh, Frank, you don't understand'?

You cuddle up with Weiss Beer Rainer, talk total nonsense...

don't answer reasonable questions, then all you say is 'oh, Frank',

like letting out a wet fart. I mean, am I crazy?

Don't get so upset.

Why not? I love you. Goddamn it.

If I can't get upset about you fondling Rainer, then I'm dead!

You understand? Dead!

OK, I've had enough.

Because if I can't upset up over something like that...

then there's no reason to get upset at all anymore.

Then nothing makes a difference.

Do you think it means nothing, what I'm saying?

Frank, I told you I'm different and you shouldn't put demands on me.

I'm not making demands. I never do. But I'm upset, Goddamn it.

It's my perfect right to at least get upset.

So get upset. - No.

I'll decide when to get upset.

Weiss Beer Rainer. Bumped into him in the East. By accident.

Is it my fault you're too stupid to get into the East?

No. Did I say that?

Did I say 'Katrin Warmers, it's your fault I didn't get across'?

And how about if the commies hadn't turned me back?

Would it have been just like before?

Or maybe a cozy threesome with Weiss Beer Rainer in the capital of the GDR!

What do you know? - Nothing.

That's the point. I don't know anything.

Maybe I should ask Heidi. She knows everything.

Tell me, Heidi, have Katrin and Weiss Beer Rainer been fucking long?

I bet Heidi knows. Heidi always knows.

You can't talk to me like that, Herr Lehmann!

I'll talk however I want.

It's over.

Don't tell me it's over. It's not up to you to tell me it's over.

That's my line. And I'll tell you something...

Katrin, it's over.

I don't love you anymore and I'm not in love with you anymore.

Thank you. Thanks. I always considered them one and the same.

I don't believe you.

What? that they were always one and the same?

No, the other thing.

Of course you don't believe it! You can say it's over...

but when I say it, you can't believe it.

Here. I'm paying for nice Ms. Warmers

and there should be some left over for...

Soda Pop Rainer!

Soda Pop Rainer! Soda Pop Rainer!

What?

Frank? You need to come to the Einfall right away.

Erwin, I'm not working this week. The whole week. Not yesterday...

not the day before yesterday, not today, not tomorrow...

not the day after tomorrow.

That's not it, idiot. Karl's here. - So?

He's nuts! He's out of control. We don't know what to do.

Who's we?

Everybody. Me, Juergen, Marco, Rudi. Everybody.

And what are you all doing? And who's Rudi?

It doesn't matter. This is not the time for trivia, Frank.

Karl is out of his head. He's gone crazy and he keeps asking for you.

Hey, what's up?

You look tired.

It's the weather. - What about the weather?

They're doing something to the weather.

He's been like this... - Shut up, Erwin.

Who did something with the weather?

Frank, you've been reading the wrong books.

We should go play miniature golf.

What are you all doing here, anyway? Are we at the zoo, or what?

Don't get so excited. He tried to break down my door earlier.

He woke me up. He's utterly lost it. He was totally normal this morning.

What do you mean, this morning?

We had breakfast together. In the all night cafe. He wanted to come.

He was up all night again. - The night before too.

He's gone completely nuts.

Who are you? - That's Rudi. He works here now too.

When I want your opinion, Rudi, I'll let you know. Until then, shut up.

Don't you start too.

Stay out of it, Erwin. I want the spastic to shut up.

Look at this place.

It looks like Karl and you had a problem, Erwin.

Erwin's a great old guy.

Let's get out of here, Karl.

First off, you need some shut-eye.

You know what?

Let's go to the strip and get laid.

Karl, stop it! The strip's not our scene. We've never been there.

OK, first we drink coffee. Then we go to the strip and do our thing.

OK. That's a plan.

What's up with you and Katrin? - Not now. Bad subject.

You can't drink whiskey without ice.

A lot of people feel differently. There are various...

Bullshit! You just want to fuck.

Stop talking shit, Karl. - Where are we going?

Your place. - Yeah, that's good.

It's great at your place. It'll be OK. - What'll be OK?

Everything. A little shut-eye, maintenance for the eyes.

They're building cars. - Who's building cars?

In Charlottenburg, if they're not careful.

If who's not careful?

You know, if Kreuzberg was India, Herr Lehmann would be a guru.

Yeah, yeah. Give me the keys.

Remember when we roomed together? - Of course. Now give me the keys.

You always made chocolate pudding.

Bull. I never made chocolate pudding. I don't even like it. - No?

Now give me the keys. - I have to go to The Market.

Just stop talking shit and give me the keys.

Come here, come here. - Are you completely nuts?

You just want to fuck, to fuck. - You're disgusting.

Damn keys. Shit!

You need to get those clothes off. - Deconstruction.

Does your shower work?

I don't want to take a shower with you. - Then go to bed like that.

I'm just going to make some chocolate pudding.

You don't have any milk. Stop this shit.

Everything's copasetic, Herr Lehmann.

Nightie-night, Herr Lehmann. - 'Night.

We need to get more into the East.

The East can wait. Lie down.

Why aren't you sleeping?

I wasn't sleeping.

You're snoring.

Snoring, but not sleeping.

Go to sleep now.

Nightie-night, Herr Lehmann.

Deconstruction!

That's all your stuff for the gallery, Karl.

It can be put to use. - No!

Now you've wrecked it, just leave it alone.

We need to see a doctor. Outpatient is fine.

About what? - My friend here.

What's wrong with him? - He's not feeling well.

Not feeling well how? - Well, mentally.

You mean he's not all there? - Yes.

This is Gerd.

Yes. I'll send them up.

Seventh floor, ward 7. - Thanks.

So tell me, Herr Lehmann. What's the problem with your friend?

He's talking crazy, he's sweating, he isn't sleeping.

He's been up for 2 nights and he won't go to sleep.

Staying up is not against the law.

When did he start acting strange?

He was normal this morning.

Normal? What does that mean these days?

Tell me a little bit about him. What does he do?

He's an artist and we work together in a bar.

What do you mean by artist?

He does sculptures.

He has an exhibition in Charlottenburg starting day after tomorrow.

He's been working on the pieces for ages and now he's wrecked them all.

Deconstruction is art too. - Yes.

Has he taken any drugs recently?

Probably, if he's been up nights.

It's possible to stay awake without them.

But if he is taking drugs, which ones? Cocaine? Amphetamines? Heroin?

No, not heroin.

Cocaine, amphetamines, speed... - I don't know. No idea.

LSD? - Does it still exist?

Boy, you're not very up-to-date, are you?

Do you have any close relatives here?

Parents, uncle, aunt, girlfriend?

Not that I know of.

Not that we know of.

OK, good. Let's have a look.

Come on.

Have you eaten anything today, Herr Schmidt?

You are one sly fox, you are. - Oh!

Herr Lehmann smokes too much.

Is that true? - In moderation.

It goes in cycles!

He's your friend, but he called you Herr Lehmann.

It's a joke. At some point, it stuck. - I see.

I have to go.

I can't hold you here, Herr Schmidt.

Would you sit down just for a minute?

Hold this for a minute.

Open wide.

And swallow!

Go ahead and lie down if you feel like it, Herr Schmidt.

You've been on your feet long enough.

Physically, there's nothing serious wrong with him.

He's a little dehydrated. Probably an electrolyte deficiency.

Electrolytes? - Yes. Why?

They're important to him. He loves potato chips.

So what happens now?

He'll probably fall asleep. We'll keep him here overnight.

You'd hardly be able to carry him home, would you?

And after he's slept, will he be OK?

Hard to say. Probably not.

Your friend has a form of depression.

It's a mixture of depression and a nervous breakdown.

We see it here often.

You said he was an artist? - Yes.

But he's worked in a bar for 10 years? - It happens.

But not everybody can deal with it.

And then the exhibition. The moment of truth. He probably got scared.

Scared of what?

That it would all fall apart.

That he'd fail...

and then it would all fall apart.

Life is easy in this neighborhood when you're young.

You work a little, live cheap, have fun.

But many people need something more, to make it all legitimate.

It may not be too bad. But it could be full-blown depression.

I'll have him brought to a room.

We have your name, number, and...

Hang on. Isn't today the 9th? - Yes.

Happy Birthday, Herr Lehmann. - Thank you.

You're 30 today!

Could you get the door?

A beer, please.

Everything OK?

Everything OK. - Good.

Here's to you. - Thanks.

A beer, please.

Herr Lehmann! What are you doing in here?

I could ask you the same thing. - True enough.

Hi, Sylvio. - Hi, Joerg.

Another one, Walter.

How's Karl?

How do you know about that? - Heidi told me.

He's OK, he's sleeping.

He hasn't been sleeping near enough.

Heidi also told me that today's your birthday.

What all Heidi knows!

Anyway. Happy Birthday!

Sylvie!

Thank you, thank you.

You know, Sylvio, there's this film from the '70s.

The people live in the future,

and when they reach a certain age, they have to be 'renewed'.

Well, they call it 'renewal', but actually they kill them.

I've seen that film.

"Logan's Run", with Michael York.

I feel like I have to be renewed.

It's a good one, "renewed"

Talking of renewal, can we have two tequilas?

I think renewal happens by itself.

When the time's right.

Salt. - The time is right!

Well, then? - Salt.

Thanks.

You know, Sylvio, about the thing with Katrin.

I didn't get it at all how that happened. And then Karl.

I have no idea when all this shit started happening.

That's the weird thing. It's like the decline of the Roman Empire.

Nobody knows exactly when it began.

I mean, there was the thing with the Danube Legions, but...

I'm convinced that if you go back further...

to an earlier date...

What's wrong with your friend? Is he sleeping?

No. He's thinking.

About what?

About what I just said.

It was interesting. But wake him up. This isn't a hotel.

Walter, a beer please. And a shot.

Do you have any money? - But of course, boss.

Cheers. - Thanks. Cheers.

Have you guys heard the latest?

The Wall's coming down.

They're all coming over.

Yeah, somebody mentioned that.

Totally outrageous. They'll all come over.

Yeah, somebody mentioned it.

Sylvio, wake up. The Wall's coming down.

What?

The Wall's coming down.

What does that mean?

No idea. That they'll all be coming over.

We should go look.

Drink up first.

Fucking hell!

Where are they all going? - The Ku'damm.

What are they up to? - They want to see it.

Look over there. - No, not her now.

Come on. - I don't want to.

Don't make such a fuss. Renewal!

There's always a task for Super Karl!

Hi, Sylvio.

Hi, Herr Lehmann. - Hi, Erwin.

Hello, Herr Lehmann. - Hello Heidi.

How's Karl? - He's OK. Who's working the Einfall?

It's closed.

Erwin! You've never done that.

God, look at this. They're all just coming over.

Hello, Frank.

Hello, Herr Lehmann.

How's Karl? - OK. He's sleeping.

I'm going to Schoeneberg to see what's up on the gay front.

I think it's time for us to go too.

Are you back to work next week, Frank?

No, Erwin. I need a change.

Too bad. But I sort of figured that.

Well, you know you always have a job with me.

Take care, Erwin. And watch out for yourself.

Take care, Herr Lehmann.

Rudi, come with us. - Coming.

Bye, Herr Lehmann.

Give it some thought, okay?

How are you doing?

I'm fine... I didn't let you talk back then.

I actually wanted to say

that I was really sorry, but I fell in love with him.

With Weiss Beer Rainer? - Yes.

I mean, I really love you

But I fell in love with Weiss Beer Rainer all of a sudden.

You fell in love with Weiss Beer Rainer?

Well, there's nothing we can do, huh?

No, there's nothing we can do.

It just hits you, huh? It happens. - Yes, it just hits you.

It's okay, then.

What are you going to do now?

No idea. Whatever comes, comes. Maybe I'll go to Bali.

What would you do in Bali?

Dunno. We'll see. Something is sure to turn up.

It's just an idea, anyway. Maybe I'll do something else totally. We'll see.

OK, well, take care. - You too.

Incredible! Incredible! Incredible!

Hey! I'm Juergen from the other side. Who're you?

I'm Herr Lehmann. But go ahead and use the familiar form of you.