All language subtitles for Henry Danger The Movie 2025 hoetinkhof79

-Attention, personnel.

-Breach in restricted area. - Breach, breach!

-Down there.

-Cutting him off.

What-- hey!

Gimme the device. Now!

It all just kind of happened.

A boy needed a job.

And a hero needed a sidekick.

So that boy became a kid,

and that kid became Danger.

But this is not that kid.

-Also not that boy.

And this is a device that can alter reality,

even bring back the dead,

like this guy, Henry Hart.

I mean, what would you do if you needed help

and the only one who could help you was gone?

Okay, back to our boy Henry.

He became Kid Danger,

sidekick to Swellview's indestructible hero

Captain Man,

whose real name was Ray Manchester.

Now, if all of this seems highly irresponsible,

well, that's because it was.

But Henry loved that job.

Being Kid Danger was everything to him.

Henry and Ray kept their real identities a secret

and kept Swellview safe.

But they had help along the way.

They met a bizarre genius named Schwoz.

Henry's best friends, Jasper and Charlotte,

came along for the ride.

Even Henry's little sister Piper

got in on the act.

But Jasper, he wanted more.

He found an audiobook that taught him how to fight

while he sleeps.

-And also speak Spanish.

Henry wanted more too.

He wanted out of Swellview.

Luckily, a radioactive cannon blew up in his face.

Yes, luckily, because when he was ready

to sacrifice himself by driving a blimp with a bomb

-into the side of a mountain...

...he found he could generate a protective forcefield

whenever he wanted.

He saved all of Swellview.

-And that bird.

Yeah, everyone thought Kid Danger died

and Henry let them,

because he was ready to be his own superhero,

instead of someone else's sidekick.

Now, Henry and Jasper live here,

fighting crime as a team.

They're older,

they're better at using their powers,

and they're famous.

Maybe a little too famous.

Kid Danger may have died, but Henry Hart didn't.

Henry's not dead. He'll be here soon.

-Trust me. -Uh-huh.

Detective Jones.

Would I lie to one of Dystopia's finest?

Absolutely.

Fair point.

Mm-hmm.

So where is he?

He's... busy with something.

Look, I know Henry has his personal forcefield and all,

but I am literally the best person in the world

at sleep fighting while speaking Spanish.

Which, by the way, means that if our friend shows up

and Henry is not here,

I'll take care of it.

"Our friend"?

Since when does Jasper Dunlop have friends?

Piper? What are you doing in Dystopia?

Schwoz? What--no--I--

- Jasper! -Schwoz?

What do you have on, some kind of duster situation?

-It's not a duster. A coat. -You look like a space cowboy.

I'm not a cowboy. I'm a superhero.

-Nice to see you. -It's good to see you.

Welcome to Dystopia, but please leave.

B-b-but we came all the way from Swellview.

Yeah. I'm on spring break.

Decided to surprise my brother and his best friend.

And then I remembered that Charlotte's actually at Harvard,

so, like Henry, we're stuck with you.

All right.

Oh, my God! I'm kidding.

-What's your deal? -Yeah. You were Mr. Cool

with the cute cop over there.

That's 'cause I was flirting with her.

Oh... that was not flirting.

-Lemme help you out. -What?

-Hey, yo, Detective Good Hair. -Okay. All right.

-My guy is into you. - That's enough.

What do you say?

-Thumbs up or thumbs down? -Or down?

I'm sorry. Lost tourists.

You are little bit out of his league.

-No, I'm in a league--of sorts. -A little.

All right, guys, guys, guys.

Now is just not a good time, okay?

What, are you and Henry on a mission?

Yeah. I heard you are the hottest crime fighters

-in Dystopia right now. -I heard Henry's your boss.

He's not my boss. We're partners.

In fact, he's signing an endorsement deal

-for us right now. -Then why aren't you there?

-Yeah. Why aren't you there? -Trust me, guys.

They didn't only want to see Henry.

Henry, Henry, Henry, Henry!

-So I'm kinda busy right now. -Come on!

Don't work, don't work. Not tonight!

Yeah, let's go get Henry and go see a show.

Yes. That is a great idea.

Okay, I realize you two are kind of in Tourist Mode right now.

-What do you mean? -What's that supposed to mean?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

But a truck full of plutonium-239's about to roll

down that street in five minutes

and something's going to attack it.

-You mean someone. -I mean something.

People here call it Blackout.

So this Blackout has beef with you and Henry?

-It's got beef with plutonium. -What?

Dystopia runs on nuclear power,

so it buys fuel rods from other countries,

and that delivery truck's gonna go right past us.

Blackout's plan? Destroy the plutonium fuel rods.

Why does it want to destroy the fuel rods?

No fuel, no power.

No power, no lights. Only...

Blackout!

Henry, how's it feel to be the new spokesman

-for BizWatch? -Henry, what's it like being

the hottest crime fighter in Dystopia?

- Where'd the lights go?

- I'm scared of the dark. - Hold me, Henry!

-The power's out. -Schwoz can fix it.

It's not a power problem.

Yeah.

You promised not to work on vacation.

Mm. Fish got to swim. Schwoz, he got to tinker.

Night-night.

There is the city's fuel rods that Blackout wants to steal.

Hey, don't you want to call Henry first?

What the--

Oof--

-Come on.

What's wrong? Afraid of the dark?

Where's your boss?

-Is that-- - I think it is.

Buckle up for a beatdown, you claw-handed freak.

So good to see you...

for the last time!

I appreciate it, I appreciate it.

-Hello, hello, hello. Thank you. - Henry!

-Hey! -Aw!

Good to see you. Good to see you.

-Good to see you. -I can't believe it.

-Listen, I had a thing. -Took your sweet time.

-It went long. I'm here now. -Oh, so it's not your fault.

I see you're yelling at your sister.

Now... if you'll excuse me.

It's time for me to take care of "bizness."

-W-what are you doing? -Okay, that's weird.

-Part of the deal I just signed. -Is there a camera somewhere?

-It felt cool to me, okay? -Are we in a commercial now?

-Hard pass. -"Felt cool." Did not look cool.

How you doing?

Dude, watch your language. There's kids around.

Well, I guess it's bizness time.

Part of our deal with BizWatch is I gotta say bizness

every 45 seconds while fighting crime.

I think they're listening to everything I say.

I think we gotta say it in English,

but we'll figure that out later.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

-Hey. -Hey.

Oh, you're going to pay for this window...

with your life!

Your fame has made you weak.

Try that again.

Ah-ah!

Oh--

-Think I just killed that thing. -Pretty sure

you just launched it somewhere.

Launched him to a bizness meeting... with death.

It is really hard to fit bizness in every single sentence.

How'd the signing go? Did you get a BizWatch for me?

Uh... no, no, I did not, but, uh,

Yeah, I had to come here. I'll get you one.

All right. Oh, wait. How's our ad look?

-We look really cool? -Uh, our ad.

Uh...

Yeah, yeah, looked good.

Really?

Uh... yes.

Yeah.

That's the ad?

Bro, you are blurred out.

Jasper is just a ghosty in the background.

I mean, that cat has more focus than you.

-You saw this at the signing? -Uh, yeah.

-I saw that there. -And you didn't say anything?

I was gonna say something. I had to come here.

Hey, Jasper.

-Hey, Jonesy. -Nice work out there.

-Uh... -Can I get a picture?

Uh, absolutely. Yeah.

-Thank you. All right, come on. -Let's do it.

-The ad in the background? -Yeah, we gotta do it.

That's not good.

-There you go. -Awesome, thanks.

You guys look great together.

-Thanks. -Yeah, no problem.

-Are you mad? -No. Why would I be mad?

-Uh, he seems mad. -He's mad.

It's not like... it's not like I do half the work

and you get all the credit.

What do you want, a gold star?

Henry, everyone thinks you're my boss.

I do have more experience than you.

I'll see you at home.

Yeah, uh,

I'm moving out.

I was gonna tell you this later but, um,

might as well just rip the bandage off, um...

Yeah, I want my own place.

Why? You're never at our place anyways.

Look, dude, we're not kids anymore, okay?

I think it's best that we have our own space.

Do our own thing.

Are we still a team?

Yo--

you can come over whenever you want.

-That's not a yes. -Mm.

-Ooh. That's the BizWatch guys.

They need me ASAP.

Have fun.

Jasper. Jasper.

Hey, uh...

Yo, I'll get you a watch.

Jasper?

Jasper.

Not cool, bro.

Blackout.

- Want some advice?

If it's decorating, then no.

You shouldn't work alone!

No. Five more minutes.

Ray, she's my mom. I can't set you up.

Oh!

Hmm. You look a lot older in person.

Uh, what is this? Ha.

Am I-am I dead?

-Am I in heaven?

Oh, my God, I'm in hell.

Oh. Naw, you're just in Newtown.

What? What's Newtown?

Why am I dressed like this? What's--

What's on my face? Who are you?

I just brought you back from the dead.

You're welcome.

What?

What's all the noise?

-Get out of here, Gemma. -Hey, how are you?

You don't know me, and I don't know you,

but I need you to get me home, okay?

I don't know where I am. I don't know what's on my face!

Thank you. Get out of here, Gemma.

-Is that Kid Danger? -Don't tell Mom

or I'll tell her you play video games all night.

And I'll tell Mom you used her credit card

-to take a bus to Swellview. -And I'll tell Mom

that you used her good lipstick on the dog

for her Glamour Shots.

-You wouldn't dare. -Uh, I just zerped Kid Danger

into our house.

You don't even know what I'm capable of.

I know you're not capable of keeping me quiet.

You know what? Just don't tell Mom.

She's got like three jobs and doesn't need this stress.

Fine. I was never here.

Oh!

Uh, first of all, hello.

The handshake. Let's keep it formal.

Missy Martin, Kid Danger superfan.

And I've run so many Kid Danger fan fictions.

-You're gonna love-- -How did I get here?

Oh!

With this baby.

The Reality Altering Device.

Okay, what, uh, ha...

what does it do?

It uses color confinement to pry open the space

between baryons, mesons-- who cares how it works?

I just brought Kid Danger back from the dead!

What's the afterlife like? Actually, don't tell me.

I wanna be surprised.

Oh, I wasn't dead.

Uh, I-I'm sorry. What?

I said I wasn't dead.

Yes, you were. You died in a fiery blimp accident

after you saved all of Swellview.

Yeah. I did the whole... saving Swellview thing.

I just-- I didn't actually die.

I kinda, you know...

Well, I faked it.

Changed my last name and disappeared.

Oh, shut up! You've been alive this whole time?

I mean... yeah.

Do you have any idea how traumatized we were

-by your death? -Uh, well, I'm sorry.

Okay?

I wanted to move on with my life,

and protect my family.

Which is a lot easier if all your enemies think you're dead.

Well, all your fans thought you were dead too.

Yeah, well, good news.

I'm still alive.

Did you have me fighting a dinosaur?

Oh!

-Oh, where have you been? -Fighting crime in Dystopia.

No, wait, Dystopia? That's amazing!

Wait. What the gunch is Dystopia?

It's like an island in the Pacific Ocean.

Oh, my gosh. Are Jasper and Charlotte there too?

Wait. How do you know about Jasper and Charlotte?

Well, I figured out your secret identity.

Uh-- how-how, uh--

how do you-- how do you know that?

Your eye mask covered less than a pair of sunglasses.

I'm honestly shocked nobody else figured it out.

Yeah, well, Swellview's not exactly

the smartest town in America.

What am I doing here?

I brought you here so that we could fight crime together.

And, bro, there is so much crime in Newtown.

You don't even know.

Most days, Gemma and I barely make it home from school.

Go. Go, go, go.

Hey.

Good thing we hid our tablets under our shirts.

Dang it, Gemma.

Come on.

-This is nice. -The latest model. Yeah.

Hello. None of you could have helped us?

That's why we don't come down here.

But now you're here, so time's up, creeps.

Kid Danger's in Newtown.

Yeah. I gotta get back to Dystopia.

Wait. You don't wanna fight crime with me?

Look, you seem like a nice girl

and I'm always happy to meet a fan, but...

I'm sorta doing my own thing right now.

And also, you shouldn't use crazy devices

to pull people out of their worlds without,

you know, asking first.

It's really not cool.

Again-- thought you were dead.

Never thought you'd lie to all your fans, but...

I mean, it's whatever. If you wanna go back,

-I'll send you back. -I'd like that. Thank you.

Also, I didn't lie about not being dead, okay?

I faked it.

There's a big difference.

Help! I'm being crimed!

Weird.

I used the RAD to zerp you into my regular life

so that we could fight crime together,

but that guy looks exactly like Coach Cregg.

He's a character from one of my fan fictions.

Huh.

You gotta help her.

-Help! Hey, help! -There's a mailman

and some high school kids-- they'll help her.

Mailmen are famously nonviolent, and we both know

that high school kids are lazy and shiftless.

-Hey, mailman, help!

Mine.

-Cool. -You've gotta do it.

I gotta get back to Dystopia.

"A superhero always answers the call."

What-- who are you? Who talks like that?

You do.

After you defeated the Beekeeper.

What?

Oh. I...

I remember now. Me and Captain Man made a bet

to see who could come up with the cheesiest line

in post-fight interviews.

"A superhero always answers the call."

Oh, my God. Okay. You know what? I'll take care of it.

-I'll take care of, uh-- -Coach Cregg.

I'll take care of Coach Cregg, then you send me home.

Yes! Fighting with Kid Danger.

-The two of us living the dream. -No, I'm gonna do this myself.

Wait, no, no, no, no, no. You have to take me with you.

This is literally my dream come true.

-You have any work experience? - Dude, I'm 12.

-Superpowers? -Uh, stealing stuff.

-Yeah, you should stay here. -Wait, no, no.

You didn't see how many guards I clowned to steal that thing.

It-it was impressive.

Look, I, uh, kinda just got out of a crime-fighting relationship

so I really just wanna work alone, all right?

-'Scuse me. -What-- hey--

Plus, he's just some roided-out gym teacher.

Probably won't even use my superpower.

Ooh-- oof--ooh!

Still don't want me to help?

-Nope. Just need my superpower. -Okay, hear me out on this,

but I think we're in one of my fan fictions.

-What makes you say that? -I linked the RAD's

protocol systems to mine.

I might have logged in as an administrator

-instead of a guest... -You've been working out.

-And also there was a lot of...

...lightning and also, also, you're getting your butt kicked

by one of my fictional characters?

'Sup?

And you don't have your superpower.

Yeah, I didn't quite follow that,

but it's probably from the brain swelling

'cause the... you know, the punching.

Brain swelling?

You think you're pretty smart, huh?

No, no. I actually think I'm pretty--

...injured.

I didn't know you had a superpower,

so I never wrote it into my fan fiction.

Oh, you didn't know about that?

-No. - Now drop

and give me 20,000 push-ups,

Kid Ugly.

Now, that's just taking it too far.

One.

Two.

Three.

Two thousand, three hundred and ninety-six.

Two thousand, three hundred and ninety-seven.

Okay. Are you sure you don't want me to help you?

Because there's another monster in this fan fiction.

Who?

Uh, like an electric vampire.

-What's an electric vampire?

Uh, just you don't wanna know.

We just gotta get outta here.

Okay, fine, you can help me,

but I seriously doubt you'll be able to do anything.

-Whoo!

You distract 'em, I lower the boom.

Am I the only one getting perfect team vibes right now?

-I'm getting exhausted vibes... -Oh.

And... possibly broken rib vibes.

Okay, so maybe next time I can distract 'em

-and you can lower the boom. -No, no, no, no, no.

I wanna go home, all right?

I want my superpowers back.

I wanna go home.

-Okay. -Just, uh...

-I'll send us back. -Do the thing.

Pretty.

Is that my sister?

Whoa.

-Why are you dressed like that? -Wanna get back to Dystopia?

-Leaving so soon, brother? -Hit the button, hit the button!

Pretty.

Well, this isn't Dystopia.

Yeah. I think it's...

Shimmers.

-What? -Shimmers.

-Shimmers? -Yeah.

Like the nightclub. Like Frankini's nightclub

-in Swellview? -I think so.

-So, uh,

what was that back in Newtown?

Was that my sister?

Kind of?

Why was she all vampirey?

And it's not just my impeccable style.

Piper kicked me out of the official Kid Danger

FakeBook fan group because she posted a pic

and I said she "looked tired."

I got mad and I wrote a story where Piper's a vampire

who kidnaps my sister. You and I have to rescue her

before she turns the town into blood-sucking monsters.

You made Piper a vampire in your story?

Uh, yeah. She kicked me out of the Kid Danger fan club.

Okay, well, turning anger into art is cool--

-That's what my therapist says. -But why did that thing

-send us here to Shimmers?

Piper?

How is my sister in Swellview?

-She's supposed to be

visiting me in Dystopia.

- Oh, no.

-What's wrong with the RAD? -Oh, nothing.

You're hiding something. No, I'm just gonna look.

-I'll take a look. -Go dance with Frankie--

Okay, uh, what do we got here?

It says, uh, "Story Mode-- Locked."

What does "Story Mode-- Locked" mean?

It could mean anything.

Could it possibly mean that it's locked... in story mode?

How do we unlock it?

I don't know, dude. I didn't build this thing.

I just stole it.

You know, let me try something. I'm pretty sure it will work.

Okay.

-Unlock, you stupid RAD!

No, no, no, no!

This isn't the real Shimmers, is it?

Is it?

Uh... ha.

-Where are we? -Well, remember how I told you

that all my fan fictions got mixed into the RAD?

Well, something must have happened to it

during your little fight with Coach Cregg.

So now the screen won't unlock, and we might be, like,

trapped in my stories.

Uh, good news. This story's a banger.

Wrote it 'cause I felt bad

for always being better than Gemma.

At what?

Ha. At everything. She lives in my shadow.

But in this story you're not a superhero.

You're just a sidekick.

To Captain Man. Yeah.

Where is he? Maybe-maybe we can find him.

-Maybe he can get us outta here. -N-no. No.

I never wrote Captain Man into any of my stories.

-It was always just you and me. -Oh, so just you and me.

Or, occasionally, you and someone else.

Who?

Oh, such a fun twist.

Who am I sidekick to?

Look, everyone. It's Captain 'Stache!

Oh, my God, it's Captain 'Stache!

If you wanna get this party started,

you simply...

mus-tache.

Jasper?

You made me sidekick

to Jasper?

I flipped the script and I wrote a story

where you're the sidekick and your best friend is the hero.

Oh, that's-that's really nice.

Stand back, party people.

Oh, my God, he can fly.

-Well, yeah, flying's cool. -I know it's cool.

It's the coolest superpower. Why do you think I'm always

jumping in from rooftops? So the enemy thinks I can--

I gotta get outta here-- I'm going home, back to Dystopia.

-No, I don't think I can fix-- -Wait. Wait. You're not smiling.

Why is that?

Uh...

it's 'cause I'm upset.

-No worries. I got you. -What? No--

-Frankini! -No, no, I'm good--

Frankini-tini?

My brother needs some gas in his goose.

-Clearly. -Can we get a table,

some tacos, and a slow jam?

-I think I'm gonna go. -How can I say no

to that beautiful face?

Whoo! Oh, yeah! Captain 'Stache.

-Um... -Tables!

-Look out! -You know what, I'm, uh,

-I got a thing. -Tacos!

-Those look good, but I just--

-I-I just-- -And...

-...I just ate. -A slow jam.

I approve!

Little guy always feels better after he eats.

Why are you talking to me like I'm a baby?

I'm not a baby, okay? I'm a grownup.

And I got grownup problems,

and eating this taco isn't gonna make me feel better.

Oh, my God, I feel so much better.

Make room for Captain 'Stache.

Oh, my God, I feel so much worse.

Out of all your universes, that thing had to send us here?

-I mean-- -W-what does he mean,

"your universes"?

What's the doohickey on the table?

-You-- mm... -You wanna tell him?

Okay.

So... I kinda wrote these stories

where Henry and I fight crime together.

And now we're stuck in my fan fiction.

And I really wanna get back to Dystopia.

So...

we're just figments of-of this girl's imagination?

Am I the only one having an existential crisis right now?

So you're saying there's another reality

where I don't have a mustache?

Anyway, while you were talking,

I got an idea.

We're in Swellview, right?

I mean... kind of.

-Indeed. -Okay.

So there's gotta be a Schwoz here.

Schwoz can fix anything. So all we gotta do

is find Schwoz, he can fix the RAD,

and we can get back to our realities

and you can write whatever stories you want.

What is a Schwoz?

He's the science genius who lives in the Man Cave.

You mean the 'Stache House.

Whatever. Point is, he can fix anything.

Okay? So...

Where is he?

I-I-I've never heard of a Schwoz.

-Me neither. -Yeah, I never found out

about anyone named Schwoz.

Cute name, but I'd never put him into any of my stories.

Okay. Now I'm having an existential crisis.

Frankini-tini?

-Thanks. - Okay, hang on, though.

I didn't write about every single person at this party,

but there's tons of people here.

Right?

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I'll bet the RAD changes whatever I changed in my stories

and then fills in the rest of the blanks with reality.

Hmm.

So-- wait.

You're saying that there's gotta be a Schwoz

somewhere in this universe?

Might be.

Schwoz!

Schwoz!

Yo!

Schwoz!

Yo!

-Schwoz! -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Get off of me!

-How do you know my name? -'Cause in another universe,

you're one of my best friends. Oh, my God!

-I can't believe I found you. -All right.

Look, pal, get offa me. I don't know who you are,

but in this universe I'm a plate scraper, so...

-get outta here. -Uh...

Listen. I need your help.

If I keep talking to you, I'm gonna get fired,

and my probation officer's gonna throw me back in jail.

You went to jail?

Yeah. I stole a little plutonium.

That stupid mustache guy and his sidekick caught me.

Uh... oh, yeah, those- those guys are turds.

Look, what's a plate scraper like you stealing plutonium for?

'Cause plate scraper ain't all I can do in this world

-all right? -Okay.

Maybe I'm not so stupid like my teachers thought, okay?

Maybe I can build a more fuel-efficient nuclear reactor

in my cousin's basement than any of your fancy

Ivy League scientists!

Even in Missy's fan fiction,

you're still one of the smartest people ever, Schwoz.

Yeah. Schwozdang right, I am.

Uh, language!

Sorry, Frankini.

Listen, um,

I, uh,

I need you to take a look at a device.

What kind of device?

Aren't you the guy I captured stealing plutonium?

You wanna go for round two, bud, this time

-without your sidekick? -Ah, no, no, no, no.

It's cool, Captain 'Stache.

He said that the guy who stole the plutonium

was just his, uh, his twin brother.

Ah. My apologies, law-abiding citizen.

All right, can you fix this? I gotta get back to Dystopia.

No. I forgot Coach Cregg shows up at this one.

I demand to know who made that piercing sound

which was so off-key.

I did.

Now, drop

and give me 900 push-ups!

Okay.

One,

two...

Yes. It seems we have an unwelcome guest

who I... mus-tache to leave.

You had to make him fly.

Just... go help Captain 'Stache.

Uh, no. We got RAD. We got Schwoz.

We're going home.

I think he'll, uh, handle it on his own.

-He's got it. - I require assistance.

-Has anybody seen my sidekick? -Yeah, okay.

You better change into your uniform.

Uh...

-Here. -What? What's this?

Oh. It's how you change into your uniform.

I figured in real life you had a cool way to transform,

but in my stories, you chug a can of soda

-and boom-- sidekick. - Yeah!

That's actually pretty close to how we, uh...

Celery Soda? What--

-Yeah. -W-what is Celery Soda?

Uh, soda that tastes like celery?

Oh, no.

Okay, it's just cheap and my mom buys a lot of it.

Now, go. Captain 'Stache needs help.

-I, uh-- - Go, go!

-Go, go! -Don't do that. Don't do it.

Okay, you want me to do it?

-All right, I'll do it! -Go, go, go, go!

I'll do it! But you gotta say it a whole lot louder!

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go, go!

Do you hate me? Is that what it is?

No. You're Lord Lolli, Captain 'Stache's

wealthy, loyal sidekick.

This is how rich people used to dress their kids.

-Uh, I wanna go home. -Well, you can't forget about

your secret weapon, the Lolli Smacker.

-Uh, no. -You kinda have to-- I know.

-Thank you. I'm gonna go. -You're his sidekick.

-It's a hard pass for me. -You gotta go help him.

-It's gonna be... a no.

-Do you hear that? -He's doing all right.

-He's getting hurt. -No, he's-- he's fine.

"A superhero always answers a call."

Ah! Fine.

- Lord Lolli! -Hate it when people

use my words against me.

Time to shave your 'stache!

It may not be Christmas, but...

I'm about to deck your face with boughs of lolli.

Ooh!

This, uh, this doesn't have any superpowers?

That would have been a good idea.

Just a-just a regular lollipop?

Well, I wrote this when I was five.

Hi.

Oh, good.

Oh!

Ooh!

Aah!

Aah!

-Yeah!

You like that? Yeah!

-Yeah!

Who wants a high five? Yeah!

You? You do?

Perfect distraction technique, Lord Lolli.

How do I get out of this thing?

And don't tell me I gotta drink more Celery Soda.

There should be another can in your tights.

Yeah. I'm not doing that.

Uh. I'm learning a lot from you.

-What's this? -A gold star.

Uh... I still have questions.

Well, in this story,

you have a hard time constantly living in Jasper's shadow.

So I started giving you gold stars after missions.

You know, just to let you know that someone appreciates you.

That's weird.

What's weird?

Well...

back in reality...

real reality...

Jasper's always living in my shadow.

Mm. Does anyone give Jasper gold stars?

-Nope.

Yo! I think I got this thing figured out.

All right.

Okay. So,

basically, the only data that was on here

when it got all busted was this chick's stories

which essentially turned it into a...

closed system.

So now you can only jump from story to story.

-Can you fix it? -Let me ask you.

Did there used to be like a crystal or something there?

It's... showtime!

No hiding in the kitchen during my next song.

-Everybody out. - Can you just--

-Just give us a minute, okay? -I don't have a minute.

Look, we need to fix this thing.

You can fix it when I'm done.

We need to fix it now.

I will not be upstaged by some boring little boom box.

-I'm not upstaging you. -Just give it to me.

-Let go of the RAD. -I hate it, and I wanna

-throw it away. -No, no, no, no!

-What is happening?

I made us cartoon characters for this story.

I wrote it right after I had dental surgery.

Yeah, I hadn't recovered from the medicine yet.

Frankini's in this one.

Oh! I don't wanna be a cow.

Hit the button.

So, we back in Newtown?

-Uh, I think so. -Yeah.

Aw, why'd the thing bring him here too?

'Cause I'm fabulous, and even the machine knows it.

'Cause it takes whoever's touching it

and whoever they're touching and whoever they're touching

-and whoever they're touching. -What...

is this awful place?

Oh. This is Newtown.

Uh, that's actually my house.

Ah. And it's...

amazing.

But what happened to my fabulous party?

I told you not to hit the button.

Actually, we just said no a lot.

Well, someone hit it again. I wanna go back to my party.

Schwoz was about to tell us how to fix the RAD--

-Let's go back. Just go. -No. No.

-I don't think-- -Just push the button.

-Just hit the button. -The one in the front.

I can't-- Just listen to me!

I think when you hit the button,

it just picks one of my stories at random

and sends you there.

We can't guarantee it'll send us back to your party.

-It can't be worse than here. -Really?

Because one time I wrote a story

where Kid Danger and I fight sharks in the Arctic Ocean.

I wrote another about an awful place

called The Gray Zone. You'd hate it.

Honey, I was born in--

No. She said The Gray Zone.

Oh. Yes, well, that does sound awful.

Listen here, missy...

-Wait. How do you know her name? -I don't know her name.

I was being condescending and disrespectful.

Now, I have no idea what the two of you are talking about--

Schwoozes and sharks and stories--

-I can-I can explain. -And I don't care to know.

I'm off to find better lighting.

You two--

find a way to get me back to my party.

But not too soon.

I want them to miss me.

I would also like to get back, find Schwoz,

-and get back to Dystopia. -We've got bigger problems.

Come on, I just beat that guy. How is he back?

Actually, he's in a lot of my stories-- like this one

where your vampire sister is gonna go into my house

and kidnap my sister.

-Let me talk to her. -Uh-uh--

Hey! Piper.

What's going on?

It's me, your big bro?

Why-- why you looking at me like that?

Slay. The house. Down.

Go, go, go.

You are a whole vibe.

It's giving...

evil vampire realness.

It's giving undead majestic queen.

It's giving hot girl vamp power!

Honey, you can drink my blood anytime.

Don't look.

-Ow!

I didn't actually mean that!

Oh, kiddies.

Care to join Bite Club?

It's... to die for.

-This is not good. -At least Frankini's not whining

-about his party anymore. -That's what I mean.

She twisted his mind. Now all he cares about

is turning other people into vampires.

Henry...

Don't you want to fang out with us?

Come out, come out, we're...

bloody fantastic.

See? If they bite us, we'll turn into vampires.

Our minds will change, and we'll never wanna go back

to the real world ever again.

We'll be stuck in this reality forever.

This is bad.

Just need a second to think--

Don't worry. I locked the door.

Okay, now you should worry.

Where does that contraption take you?

- Other worlds, kinda. -Nowhere.

Don't tell them that.

Other worlds...

-to conquer? -You'd hate 'em.

You should probably stay here and not turn anybody else

into vampires.

-Give. -Uh...

no.

Huh.

I want that.

Oh, that was close.

-So...

where are we?

Uh, I don't know yet.

Well, at least we're safe.

Henry, look out! Oh--

Oh ha ha. Mother goose.

The Mounties are back, and they got weapons.

Let's keep close to the barricades.

-"The Mounties"? -Oh, God.

It's The Syrup Wars.

Why can't you write one where we chill on the couch?

Because The Couch Wars would be boring.

Not to me.

-Just walk away, eh? -Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Just walk away, and we will give you safe passage, eh?

Just walk away and we'll let you live.

Just walk away and leave your liquid gold behind.

-Ah, ah-- s'il vous plaît. -Yeah. Please.

Liquid gold?

Maple syrup.

In this story, a nuclear war has scorched the entire planet.

The people left behind scrape out a brutal existence,

scavenging for the leftovers of human civilization.

That right there is the last bit of maple syrup left on Earth.

We got it. The Canadian Mounties want it.

Are any of your fan fictions not totally weird?

-No.

Shut your syrupy mouth now!

Incoming!

Ah ha ha!

-We're very sorry about that. -Yeah, we're very sorry, eh?

Yeah. We apologize for our use of violence,

but us Mounties, we need syrup!

Don't Mounties need horses?

They all took off during the war 'cause you ran outta syrup.

We got plenty of fresh flapjacks out here,

but we can't eat 'em without syrup, eh?

Just eat 'em dry.

You eat them dry!

No, you eat 'em dry.

That's so rude. Wanna see what happens...

-You're rude! -...when I do that?

We don't have any syrup, eh? Wah!

-Yeah! He doesn't like it!

It's so dry, yeah?

Crumble 'em in your mouth and cry

-like a bunch of babies. - You eat 'em dry!

-No, you eat 'em dry. -Let's just give them the syrup.

Then we can find Schwoz. He can fix the RAD,

and we can get back to reality.

Because in this story, we're waiting for "the Big Guy"

to come with the truck that can haul the syrup to California.

We'll eat flapjacks with syrup for a week

before the Earth crashes into the sun.

I'm seriously worried about you.

I'm in a much better place now.

All right, we're outta weapons and food, and those Mounties

aren't going away without a fight. You guys in?

Ooh!

-Watch out, Henry.

'Scuse me.

Son of a bus driver!

Ah!

-I'm in. -Yep.

-Aw. You guys are good friends. -Yeah, well,

we're actually not that good of friends in Dystopia,

but I'm not gonna leave him to the syrup-crazed Mounties.

What's Dystopia? What do you mean we're not friends?

What's that thing on your arm? And what do you mean,

we're not friends?

Okay. This is gonna sound crazy.

So if there is a Schwoz in this world,

and if we can find him, then maybe he can help us

fix our RAD and get me and Henry back to where we belong.

So, in this other world,

there's probably a pretty good reason

why we're not friends anymore, right?

Like, I-I probably did something terrible, right?

I kinda just...

got busy.

You got busy?

-And famous.

Ow. Oof.

Not really any of my business, but all he seems to do

is save your life over and over again,

but you're just too busy and famous to be friends with him?

Relax, okay? He hasn't saved my life as much back in Dystopia.

What--

Whatever, all right?

You guys can go and find this Schwoz guy.

Get your thing fixed,

and I'll fight the Mounties by myself.

No.

We stand here... and we fight.

Ugh!

Sounds good.

So what's the plan?

How do we keep them out until the Big Guy shows up?

Maybe we don't keep them out.

Maybe we let them in.

Let them in?

Okay. You're either gonna love this plan

or think it's really dumb.

-Oh, yeah, flip her, bud. -I like mine medium-rare, eh?

Oh, yeah.

-It's a little burnt, eh? -It's called well-done.

Oh, yeah.

It's opening.

Oh, yeah, it's opening! Steeds!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Dismount, eh?

-No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Aah!

Oh!

Right in the hockey pucks.

Distraction technique!

-Dude, did you see his face? -I saw-- I saw it.

-Come on, man. Come on! -Just-- whoo!

That's what I'm talking about. That's what we do!

-Let's go! -You want me to let them out

-so you can do it again? - No.

We finally got syrup! Don't let it get to waste.

Oh, that's good. Oh, yeah.

Where's that flapjack?

You know, Missy had a good plan.

Yeah. She's got potential.

Hey, Missy.

You keep saying distraction technique,

but you're using it wrong.

Distraction technique is when you make the bad guys

think that they're getting what they want

but, really, you're getting what you want.

Oh, got it. Thanks, boss.

Not your boss.

Okay, boss.

You know, I haven't seen you this happy in a long time.

I just got here.

Yeah. That's a fair point.

Big Guy's here.

-Ooh!

Never mind the box o' toys.

Me sad and sorry 'ere is still a lad in the plaid.

Schwoz.

Aw, it's good to see you.

Deadline crews:

your squeaky clean is in the pink.

But have a butcher's 'ere.

Some sticky finger skeeved off with the crown jewels.

Neo-Dymium. Coals and cokes, innit?

Story mode is in the tower.

Definite article? Odds and ends?

Zed bruvs, fishnets.

Leather.

Oh, you-you-you understand him?

'Course.

The machine works fine, just someone stole

the Neo-Dymium crystal,

and now it's locked in story mode.

Hey, your vampire queen sister is wearing it as a necklace.

She must have stolen it the first time she showed up.

Which is why this has been locked in story mode ever since.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

No, it's not.

This whole thing is my fault.

I wrote the stupid stories.

I stole the RAD.

I yanked you out of your real life. I just--

Hey, your stories aren't stupid.

The animated one is.

Okay, yeah. I don't love the animated one.

Hmm.

But...

you weren't trying to mess my life up.

You were doing what you thought you needed to do

to protect your town.

I know what that feels like.

If I get you that crystal,

can you fix it?

You lot nick the pig from the stick,

these 'ands make pots and pans, and Bob's your uncle.

A new day's a-dawnin'.

If we steal the crystal back, he thinks maybe he can

reset the system and everything should go back

to the way it was. Even better--

we don't all have to touch it to go back to our worlds.

Okay, here's the plan.

We get Schwoz back to Newtown.

We get that crystal from my vampire sister.

Schwoz repairs the RAD,

and I get back to Dystopia where I belong.

The three of us against Coach Cregg,

Vampiper, and Fangtini?

I don't like our chances.

Well...

I was hoping it'd be the four of us.

But if my sister bites you...

Yeah, we'll turn to vampires.

We have the myth in this world too.

Yeah, but these vampires are real.

They change your body and your mind.

You'll do whatever she wants you to do.

You won't make it back to your reality.

It's not just that. If Vampiper takes us down,

she could get control of the RAD, make Schwoz fix it,

and go through every single one of my fan fictions.

Creating an army of vampires.

And use them to assault the real world.

Well...

I'd fight to the end of the world with you, Henry.

See? He's amazing.

Okay, can we please just fix this

and get back to reality?

Oh hecks, yeah.

This sword's on board.

-I'd go to the end of the-- -We know.

-I'd fight an army-- -We know.

We all know.

Okay. Let's hope this works.

Oh, groovy, baby!

-Missy, hit the button.

Are we riding a cow?

It's a unicow.

Ah. That makes more sense.

It really doesn't. Now, please hit the button.

Ha. Whoa, I haven't seen that in a while.

Ha. Yeah, it's been a minute.

Well...

looks good.

Feels good.

Uh, just asking to ask.

They are the ones we have to fight, yes?

Those are the bad guys, yes.

And they live by consuming the guts

of small, plastic versions of Henry.

I think he's doing that to be disturbing.

It's working.

Let the girl inside.

What about the rest?

End them.

Or invite them to the party.

-No, Gemma! -No, no, no, no, no.

It's what they want.

All right, guys. What's the game plan?

Missy, Schwoz, you protect the RAD.

Jasper and I'll get the crystal.

-Wait, I wanna come with you. -No, we got this handled.

Oh!

-Where's Missy? -Inside. Go. I got this.

You sure?

Oh, yeah.

It's me.

-I told you to stay outside. -I know, but--

-I don't want you getting hurt. -Neither do I.

-Where's your little sister? -I don't know--

Upstairs.

-Missy-no! -Ah!

Missed me.

Aah!

Gotcha.

Uhh--

Ah, geez.

Ooh-- ooh--

ooh-- oof--

A lotta walls, Missy.

Ooh-- oof--

Earplugs, jerk.

Hmm?

Sucks to suck.

Where's the RAD?

Uhh!

Aw.

Did that... hurt?

Now, you listen to me.

Whoa.

-No! - Aah!

Why would you do that?

Distraction technique.

You can go home now.

Aah!

Schwoz!

-Get ready!

No!

-Ooh.

How much time do you need, Schwoz?

I don't know. How much time can you give me?

Missy, no!

Aah!

-Missy, stop!

Move, Schwoz!

Bye!

Missy, it's me!

Meet my vampire army.

And this is just the beginning, brother.

Hurry!

Almost there!

Almost... almost.

It's taking so long. Trust in God, I do.

Oh... oh!

What the--

I'm telling Mom.

Oh!

This hurts.

I get it. Fine. I was never here.

Oh, my God.

What--

Ah.

Clear for talent!

Clear for talent, clear for talent.

Clear for talent, clear for talent.

I'm here!

Play the music.

And it's not mysteriously disappearing

so that everyone misses you.

But that helps. Ding!

Good news. I'm back.

Is that supposed to make me feel better?

You're a good friend.

And, uh, I didn't see it.

But...

I see it now.

What's going on?

I gotta leave Dystopia, man.

It's not the place for me. And I can do that now.

'Cause you're here.

You're ready.

Well, it's gonna be a little weird without you.

Well, I'm not gone yet.

We still got one more thing to take care of.

Back for more?

Ironically, I'm about to black out.

Ah.

Here.

Keep it.

Great work out there.

So, can I get a picture?

Sure.

-Awesome. -Oh!

Smile...

It looks like you and I'll be working pretty closely together.

I... guess we will be.

Shall we?

-Now can we please see a show? -Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Let's go see a show. -Yes.

Sorry.

I, uh...

gotta go say hi to my fans.

Hey, guys. Nice to meet you.

Yeah, thank you. Thank you. All part of the job.

Well, because Jasper was getting the love

-he deserved... - How 'bout you?

You down for a show?

...Dystopia didn't need Henry anymore.

What?

Nothing.

Oh, and, um, glad you're not an electric vampire.

Henry knew where he was needed now,

because a superhero always answers the call.

So I don't know if you check

your old Kid Danger email

or how to contact you in Dystopia,

but if you ever get this, I just want you to know

that I hope you made things right with Jasper and--

-It's ours. -Again? Seriously?

Actually...

It's hers.

Let's get outta here!

Are you friends with Jasper again?

You must be the famous Missy.

-You promise to take care

of this knucklehead while I'm in Dystopia?

Okay. Who wants to see the new hideout?

I understand we've met before?

Couple times.

So, ready to fight some crime?

Uh, yeah, I am! Whoo! Let's go see the hideout!

Whoo!

Yeah. I don't know where I'm going.

Just someone tell me where to go, and, uh--

Wait. Why are you getting on the bench?

Remember in Shimmers when

I got a little bit upset that Jasper could fly?

You weren't upset. You were jealous.

He's still jealous. Little bit.

I mighta been a little bit jealous.

But...

not anymore.

Buckle up, kiddo.

Uh, guys? We have to go back. I forgot my computer.

Is now a terrible time to mention

that I have a trig midterm tomorrow?

Hey, you wanted to be a sidekick.

Aah!

Oh, my God.

Captain Man.

Hey, kid.

Uhh!

Been a while.

Hi. Ha.

I need your help.

And it's not just my impeccable style.

What's your name, guy?

Kyle.

Smile, Kyle!

You can tone it down now, Kyle.