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1
00:00:06,084 --> 00:00:14,519
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2
00:00:25,214 --> 00:00:26,494
Oh, no!
3
00:00:54,134 --> 00:00:57,093
Beach? My Lady?
4
00:00:57,094 --> 00:00:58,894
Frederick?!
5
00:01:16,694 --> 00:01:19,533
Aunt, please,
I have a bit of a head.
6
00:01:19,534 --> 00:01:21,773
God knows, you don't have to tell me
that!
7
00:01:21,774 --> 00:01:24,173
If you wish to retain what little
you have left of it,
8
00:01:24,174 --> 00:01:26,573
explain the truncated trousers.
9
00:01:26,574 --> 00:01:30,973
Yeah. Well, I thought,
I might run faster.
10
00:01:30,974 --> 00:01:32,333
Than what?
11
00:01:32,334 --> 00:01:34,573
Than I would if my trousers
were the usual length.
12
00:01:34,574 --> 00:01:36,133
It was a wager, you see.
13
00:01:36,134 --> 00:01:39,533
Oh! Catsmeat ordered this great jug
of Rigor Mortis, and I...
14
00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:41,613
Drank it all. No, no, no!
Not all of it!
15
00:01:41,614 --> 00:01:43,814
Good grief! Most of it. Oh.
16
00:01:52,574 --> 00:01:55,613
I shouldn't wish you to think
that I'm neglecting you.
17
00:01:55,614 --> 00:01:58,933
But out of season, there is still
combat to be had with Stinker!
18
00:01:58,934 --> 00:02:02,373
So, please... please excuse me.
19
00:02:02,374 --> 00:02:05,573
Clarence!
20
00:02:05,574 --> 00:02:07,413
I can stand it no longer!
21
00:02:07,414 --> 00:02:08,973
Freddie must be married!
22
00:02:08,974 --> 00:02:11,933
There is no other lawful way
to dispose of him!
23
00:02:11,934 --> 00:02:14,773
I have selected
Felicity Parsloe-Parsloe.
24
00:02:14,774 --> 00:02:18,174
And I have rung Sir Gregory
to discuss the matter...
25
00:02:21,774 --> 00:02:24,373
It's like a pantomime!
26
00:02:24,374 --> 00:02:26,974
I mention the word Parsloe,
and he vanishes!
27
00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:40,733
Hey! Why the long face?
28
00:02:40,734 --> 00:02:42,453
Oh, is it?
29
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:46,813
Oh, no, no, I couldn't...
possibly bore you with all that.
30
00:02:46,814 --> 00:02:48,613
Bet you could if you tried?
31
00:02:48,614 --> 00:02:52,773
Well, it was a fairly orthodox
knees-up at the Pink Pussy.
32
00:02:52,774 --> 00:02:54,413
Cocktails were ingested.
33
00:02:54,414 --> 00:02:56,973
Oofy bet me 50 quid
I couldn't do the 100-yard dash
34
00:02:56,974 --> 00:02:59,493
in under 12 seconds.
And you couldn't?
35
00:02:59,494 --> 00:03:02,093
Not with a duck-billed platypus
jammed down my trousers, no.
36
00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:05,693
That was an intrinsic part
of the wager. The platypus.
37
00:03:05,694 --> 00:03:09,493
I thought I could do it
by streamlining the leggings,
38
00:03:09,494 --> 00:03:14,053
but two seconds into the race,
the ruddy beak came off.
39
00:03:14,054 --> 00:03:16,653
Which was pretty disconcerting.
Not least for the platypus!
40
00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:19,693
Oh, no, he was stuffed. As am I.
41
00:03:19,694 --> 00:03:22,533
Ah, Guv'nor. This is, erm...
42
00:03:22,534 --> 00:03:26,453
Niagara Donaldson.
I generally answer to Aggie.
43
00:03:26,454 --> 00:03:29,213
No, no, no good,
can't get that at all.
44
00:03:29,214 --> 00:03:32,813
Niagara. Like the big waterfall.
45
00:03:32,814 --> 00:03:36,053
Heavens! That must have caused
raised eyebrows around the font.
46
00:03:36,054 --> 00:03:38,133
My father's American.
Well, somebody has to be.
47
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:42,253
This is all very stimulating,
but I fear I have other business.
48
00:03:42,254 --> 00:03:43,854
Please forgive me.
49
00:03:45,974 --> 00:03:47,213
Stuffed?
50
00:03:47,214 --> 00:03:52,093
Oh, yes... Oofy's after me
for 150 quid.
51
00:03:52,094 --> 00:03:56,333
Harvest festival, McAllister!
52
00:03:56,334 --> 00:04:00,253
Ah...
53
00:04:00,254 --> 00:04:03,213
Is she bigger than Sir Gregory's,
do you think?
54
00:04:03,214 --> 00:04:07,973
Sir Grigory's gourd'll be a mickle
sproogy bairn compared to hir.
55
00:04:07,974 --> 00:04:11,293
I named hir Desdemona.
56
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,493
Yer dinnae thunk the name improper?
57
00:04:13,494 --> 00:04:15,733
Good Lord, no! Hah!
58
00:04:15,734 --> 00:04:18,613
I just met a charming young woman,
named after a natural wonder.
59
00:04:18,614 --> 00:04:20,813
Cheops...
No, that was man-made. Erm...
60
00:04:20,814 --> 00:04:24,933
Niagara? No, no, something
more exotic. Stromboli.
61
00:04:24,934 --> 00:04:26,933
Hello, everyone!
62
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:32,133
My, that pumpkin!
She's really bonny. Isn't she?
63
00:04:32,134 --> 00:04:35,893
Guaranteed to kick Stinker
into a cocked hat, wouldn't you say?
64
00:04:35,894 --> 00:04:37,413
I would.
65
00:04:37,414 --> 00:04:42,094
I'll counsel ye nae to be
over-familiar wi' his Lordshup, hen.
66
00:04:45,734 --> 00:04:48,934
And beware the bairn-faced loon.
67
00:04:50,174 --> 00:04:55,093
So, you are enjoying the university,
Miss Parsloe-Parsloe?
68
00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:56,613
Yup.
69
00:04:56,614 --> 00:04:58,413
Fascinating.
70
00:04:58,414 --> 00:05:02,413
Felicity, lovely gardens here
at Blandings.
71
00:05:02,414 --> 00:05:04,893
Why not take a squint?
72
00:05:04,894 --> 00:05:06,374
Yup.
73
00:05:11,734 --> 00:05:14,533
Charming girl.
Can we not beat about the bush?
74
00:05:14,534 --> 00:05:17,973
You reckon there's a match to be
made. Your nephew, my niece.
75
00:05:17,974 --> 00:05:21,013
Mm-hm. Fact is, Constance, your
nephew couldn't find his backside
76
00:05:21,014 --> 00:05:22,533
with an illustrated guidebook!
77
00:05:22,534 --> 00:05:24,893
Your niece is unusual.
78
00:05:24,894 --> 00:05:26,613
Damned attractive.
79
00:05:26,614 --> 00:05:29,654
To other unusual girls, possibly.
80
00:05:33,254 --> 00:05:36,613
I'll put up with yours, Sir Gregory,
if you'll put up with mine.
81
00:05:36,614 --> 00:05:39,853
In that case, I have terms.
82
00:05:39,854 --> 00:05:42,293
Name them. Emsworth!
83
00:05:42,294 --> 00:05:45,813
This silly rivalry he insists
on perpetuating!
84
00:05:45,814 --> 00:05:49,453
Pigs. Pumpkins.
It's got to stop.
85
00:05:49,454 --> 00:05:53,694
I wish to enter such competitions
unchallenged by your brother.
86
00:05:55,134 --> 00:05:57,453
Harvest Festival and so on.
87
00:05:57,454 --> 00:06:00,013
I want to win!
88
00:06:00,014 --> 00:06:03,613
I shall leave Felicity
here for the rest of the day.
89
00:06:03,614 --> 00:06:05,373
Yes, please do.
90
00:06:05,374 --> 00:06:08,053
I'm sure all this can be arranged
to our mutual satisfaction,
91
00:06:08,054 --> 00:06:10,373
without difficulty.
92
00:06:10,374 --> 00:06:12,254
Good afternoon.
93
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:22,294
No difficulty at all.
94
00:06:29,174 --> 00:06:32,133
Beach! You didn't see me!
95
00:06:32,134 --> 00:06:34,774
Very good, sir.
96
00:06:37,574 --> 00:06:40,373
Beach, did you see Mr Frederick?
No.
97
00:06:40,374 --> 00:06:42,173
Because he told you
that you didn't.
98
00:06:42,174 --> 00:06:44,533
Did he remember to tell you
that you also didn't see
99
00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:47,173
the young woman that he was dragging
by the hand?
100
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:50,133
No. So you are at liberty to tell me
about her.
101
00:06:50,134 --> 00:06:51,373
Who is she?
102
00:06:51,374 --> 00:06:54,533
She is Miss Niagara Donaldson,
your Ladyship.
103
00:06:54,534 --> 00:06:58,453
Donaldson?
Doesn't sound terribly encouraging.
104
00:06:58,454 --> 00:07:01,453
Define Miss Donaldson.
105
00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:04,653
Her uncle is the gardener,
McAllister, my Lady.
106
00:07:04,654 --> 00:07:06,813
Bring me Lord Emsworth.
Yes, your Ladyship.
107
00:07:06,814 --> 00:07:09,494
Then bring me McAllister.
Yes, your Ladyship.
108
00:07:24,814 --> 00:07:27,893
Can I assist ye, Sir Grigory?
109
00:07:27,894 --> 00:07:30,853
McAllister, is it not? Aye...
110
00:07:30,854 --> 00:07:34,333
You know... McAllister,
111
00:07:34,334 --> 00:07:36,253
you should consider
coming to work for me.
112
00:07:36,254 --> 00:07:39,094
You might find me more...
appreciative.
113
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:45,414
Let me give you my number.
Let's see... Ah, yes.
114
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,773
So.
115
00:07:52,774 --> 00:07:55,573
You've writ it on a five-poon note.
116
00:07:55,574 --> 00:07:58,974
Really? Oh, yes.
117
00:08:01,574 --> 00:08:03,694
Better hang on to it, then.
118
00:08:09,974 --> 00:08:12,173
Freddie might well propose to her!
119
00:08:12,174 --> 00:08:15,773
God knows, he'd propose to a cushion
if it had tassels on it
120
00:08:15,774 --> 00:08:19,013
and succumbed to his vacuous
conversation!
121
00:08:19,014 --> 00:08:23,053
If McAllister is her uncle,
imagine her father!
122
00:08:23,054 --> 00:08:25,253
Do you really want him sitting
next to you at dinner,
123
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,933
breathing on your cheese,
trifling with your cigars
124
00:08:27,934 --> 00:08:30,613
and gargling your brandy? Oh...
125
00:08:30,614 --> 00:08:32,573
I shall explain this one last time.
126
00:08:32,574 --> 00:08:35,653
I have identified a highly
appropriate girl for Freddie.
127
00:08:35,654 --> 00:08:37,653
Her name is Felicity Par...
128
00:08:37,654 --> 00:08:39,413
Felicity.
129
00:08:39,414 --> 00:08:42,093
Felicity Felicity?!
130
00:08:42,094 --> 00:08:45,613
She has acquired at the university
131
00:08:45,614 --> 00:08:47,813
a very interesting personal style...
132
00:08:47,814 --> 00:08:50,374
As long as she doesn't
dress like a man and smoke a pipe.
133
00:08:51,694 --> 00:08:55,173
McAllister, my Lord.
Remember you are an Emsworth!
134
00:08:55,174 --> 00:08:58,533
Ah, McAllister, there you are!
Jolly good!
135
00:08:58,534 --> 00:09:01,573
Her Ladyship...
136
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:04,733
erm... feels...
137
00:09:04,734 --> 00:09:10,494
I struggle to describe quite
how her Ladyship feels.
138
00:09:14,774 --> 00:09:18,213
Lovely morning. Yup.
139
00:09:18,214 --> 00:09:20,973
There is really no gentlemanly way
to say this,
140
00:09:20,974 --> 00:09:23,373
so I shall just have to say it.
141
00:09:23,374 --> 00:09:25,013
Everglades.
142
00:09:25,014 --> 00:09:27,573
I know that is not quite correct,
but you know of whom I speak.
143
00:09:27,574 --> 00:09:30,053
Niagara? Precisely.
144
00:09:30,054 --> 00:09:32,253
McAllister. It has to stop.
145
00:09:32,254 --> 00:09:34,293
What has to stop, my Lord?
146
00:09:34,294 --> 00:09:37,853
The friendship with my son,
Frederick. WHAT?!
147
00:09:37,854 --> 00:09:39,133
You did not know?
148
00:09:39,134 --> 00:09:43,093
Oh, my dear fellow,
Frederick and Miss Great Lakes.
149
00:09:43,094 --> 00:09:44,693
They're sweethearts.
150
00:09:44,694 --> 00:09:48,333
Yon clockwork cretin shall nay
lay his fickle finger
151
00:09:48,334 --> 00:09:50,893
upon the fragrant person
o' ma niece.
152
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,533
I take your point of view.
153
00:09:52,534 --> 00:09:56,053
But the fact is, McAllister, Miss
Grand Canyon's visit to Blandings
154
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,853
probably has to be curtailed.
155
00:09:57,854 --> 00:09:59,933
She's no' visiting -
she's ma tenant.
156
00:09:59,934 --> 00:10:02,653
I thought she was your niece?
She's ma niece AND ma tenant!
157
00:10:02,654 --> 00:10:04,373
She pays me twa poon a week.
158
00:10:04,374 --> 00:10:07,213
Twa poon? Oh, does she?
Good heavens!
159
00:10:07,214 --> 00:10:10,333
What if I were to offer you,
erm, three poon?
160
00:10:10,334 --> 00:10:13,173
By which I obviously mean
four poon.
161
00:10:13,174 --> 00:10:17,413
It is nae the remuneration, my
Lord. It is the prunciple. Oh!
162
00:10:17,414 --> 00:10:19,853
I warn ye, if there's any further
attempt
163
00:10:19,854 --> 00:10:23,853
to remove Niagara from my dwelling,
I shall resign ma post!
164
00:10:23,854 --> 00:10:28,293
My dear fellow, you clearly can't do
that. No. Consider Desdemona.
165
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,133
Yae consider her!
166
00:10:30,134 --> 00:10:35,733
Moreover, if I find yir poonstrick
son canoodling with ma niece...
167
00:10:35,734 --> 00:10:40,053
I shall suspend him fae rafters
like a flutch o' bacon.
168
00:10:40,054 --> 00:10:42,533
Oh!
169
00:10:42,534 --> 00:10:45,053
Who is Desdemona?!
170
00:10:45,054 --> 00:10:48,213
Oh, Connie, do you never pay
attention to the names that matter?
171
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,213
She is my PUMPKIN!
172
00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:53,493
Directly after my interview
with McAllister,
173
00:10:53,494 --> 00:10:58,414
I went to the greenhouse to inspect
her, and her skin was wrinkling.
174
00:10:59,574 --> 00:11:02,373
It's like the terrible climax
of Ryder Haggard's She in there!
175
00:11:02,374 --> 00:11:06,613
Can you not see that alliance
with this Niagara Donaldson
176
00:11:06,614 --> 00:11:09,253
besmirches the honour
of the Emsworths? Oh!
177
00:11:09,254 --> 00:11:11,693
If you are ever to exert
even the slightest authority
178
00:11:11,694 --> 00:11:14,893
over this family, you must assist me
with Felicity Parsloe-Parsloe!
179
00:11:14,894 --> 00:11:17,413
For a minute there, I thought you
said... Yes, I did.
180
00:11:17,414 --> 00:11:20,253
In a moment you'll have forgotten,
so it is of no consequence.
181
00:11:20,254 --> 00:11:24,253
A hallmark, I find,
of our general conversation.
182
00:11:24,254 --> 00:11:26,493
Felicity.
183
00:11:26,494 --> 00:11:28,014
Pretty name.
184
00:11:30,174 --> 00:11:32,893
I say, old boy, you haven't seen
a corking little redhead
185
00:11:32,894 --> 00:11:36,133
about the place, have you? Nope.
186
00:11:36,134 --> 00:11:38,373
Threepwood, F.
187
00:11:38,374 --> 00:11:40,414
Parsloe-Parsloe, F.
188
00:11:41,614 --> 00:11:45,414
Oh! Ha!
189
00:11:47,814 --> 00:11:50,733
Oh! You met Felicity.
190
00:11:50,734 --> 00:11:53,013
Good. Erm... Be quiet! Oh.
191
00:11:53,014 --> 00:11:54,733
All undergraduates are the same.
192
00:11:54,734 --> 00:11:58,093
They wear extraordinary clothes
and try to unsettle people.
193
00:11:58,094 --> 00:12:01,053
She'll grow out of it
once she's married.
194
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,133
To you. Gah!
195
00:12:03,134 --> 00:12:04,973
You shall consent to this union,
Freddie!
196
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:08,413
Would you not die in battle
for the honour of the Emsworths?
197
00:12:08,414 --> 00:12:09,533
Yes. I would.
198
00:12:09,534 --> 00:12:12,453
Infinitely preferable to a life
of sharing the marital toothbrush
199
00:12:12,454 --> 00:12:14,133
with a girl called Parsloe-Parsloe!
200
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:17,773
Don't talk rot! Marriage is
not about sharing anything.
201
00:12:17,774 --> 00:12:20,214
It is about property and succession.
202
00:12:21,614 --> 00:12:25,453
Stop howling like an impaled baboon!
Think about your duty!
203
00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:29,134
Miss Parsloe-Parsloe,
do you need a light for that pipe?
204
00:12:35,374 --> 00:12:38,694
Glass of port, Mr Frederick? Er...
205
00:12:40,414 --> 00:12:42,093
Lubricates the brain.
206
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,213
I mean, you've seen the girl, Beach!
207
00:12:44,214 --> 00:12:46,413
She clearly cranks the starter
with a motion
208
00:12:46,414 --> 00:12:47,933
that's not factory-approved.
209
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,053
And I'm supposed to ask
her to marry me!
210
00:12:50,054 --> 00:12:53,093
Is Miss Donaldson aware
of your intention to propose, sir?
211
00:12:53,094 --> 00:12:54,453
No, no! Wrong girl!
212
00:12:54,454 --> 00:12:59,013
Aunt C's putting the heavy roller
on me to pop the question to...
213
00:12:59,014 --> 00:13:00,933
Beach.
214
00:13:00,934 --> 00:13:03,173
You're a ruddy genius!
215
00:13:03,174 --> 00:13:04,893
Right question.
216
00:13:04,894 --> 00:13:07,174
Wrong girl!
217
00:13:31,734 --> 00:13:34,333
I might have known it!
218
00:13:34,334 --> 00:13:36,973
Erm, hello, erm, Parsloe.
219
00:13:36,974 --> 00:13:40,533
I'm taking a very strong line on the
protection of my pumpkin, Emsworth.
220
00:13:40,534 --> 00:13:42,853
Trespass again
and you'll find yourself in custody.
221
00:13:42,854 --> 00:13:44,853
What? What? You've been warned!
222
00:13:44,854 --> 00:13:47,693
Hasn't your sister bothered
to speak to you?
223
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:50,893
Of course she speaks to me!
So, what do you say, man? Yes or no?
224
00:13:50,894 --> 00:13:54,893
Erm... Yes... On the whole...
225
00:13:54,894 --> 00:13:58,053
All right, then. Good.
226
00:13:58,054 --> 00:14:01,133
All you need to do, Emsworth,
as agreed with Connie,
227
00:14:01,134 --> 00:14:06,014
is stop this ruddy nonsense.
Eh? Lay down your arms.
228
00:14:11,974 --> 00:14:13,933
Lay down your pumpkin.
229
00:14:13,934 --> 00:14:15,893
And as for your pig...
230
00:14:15,894 --> 00:14:18,254
wrap her up with a bow
and send her round.
231
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:25,333
Ah! Erm, Miss Donaldson.
232
00:14:25,334 --> 00:14:29,014
We met but a few hours ago
and we kissed once.
233
00:14:30,854 --> 00:14:32,373
Twice.
234
00:14:32,374 --> 00:14:35,413
Proportionally, that is a 50%
increase in our intimacy.
235
00:14:35,414 --> 00:14:37,093
Now, look...
236
00:14:37,094 --> 00:14:39,173
would you mind awfully
237
00:14:39,174 --> 00:14:40,973
anteloping with me?
238
00:14:40,974 --> 00:14:43,933
Is that a dance?
Erm. There could be dancing.
239
00:14:43,934 --> 00:14:47,494
Oh, you mean will
I run away with you and get married?
240
00:14:51,254 --> 00:14:53,373
OK!
241
00:14:53,374 --> 00:14:56,613
Really?! This is fantastic!
242
00:14:56,614 --> 00:14:58,853
Look, I'm pretty
strapped for boodle.
243
00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:01,093
Do you have a bit of cash
for a couple of train tickets?
244
00:15:01,094 --> 00:15:04,973
That's a slightly worrying question,
Freddie, but, yes, I do.
245
00:15:04,974 --> 00:15:07,014
Top! Meet you at the pigsty.
246
00:15:10,254 --> 00:15:12,054
How romantic!
247
00:15:16,934 --> 00:15:19,654
150%! Hurrah!
248
00:15:24,014 --> 00:15:25,534
Woo-hoo!
249
00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:33,213
My darkest fear, McAllister,
250
00:15:33,214 --> 00:15:37,093
is that Parsloe's ruddy pumpkin
is portlier than mine.
251
00:15:37,094 --> 00:15:39,813
Gah! Yer should fear for yir son.
252
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:43,213
Truffling roond the dainty
petticoats of ma niece. I warned ye!
253
00:15:43,214 --> 00:15:46,533
Don't concern yourself with
Frederick. He's getting married.
254
00:15:46,534 --> 00:15:49,133
Yes, yes, all settled. To that girl.
Peculiar name.
255
00:15:49,134 --> 00:15:51,173
Niagara? Very possibly.
256
00:15:51,174 --> 00:15:52,733
And ye endorse this marriage?
257
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:56,493
I do, McAllister. My dear fellow,
it's really no concern of yours.
258
00:15:56,494 --> 00:15:58,373
Let us discuss fertilisers.
259
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:03,853
Lord Emsworth, the situation is
untenable. I resign yir employ.
260
00:16:03,854 --> 00:16:06,213
Angus. No, you can't.
261
00:16:06,214 --> 00:16:09,693
What about the silky
flesh of Desdemona?
262
00:16:09,694 --> 00:16:14,214
You think on it, mun!
Ach, I'm awa to pack ma bag.
263
00:16:17,374 --> 00:16:21,813
No, no, no. Not Niagula. No. No.
264
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:25,374
Freddie's marrying
the Parsloe girl.
265
00:16:28,774 --> 00:16:33,134
But he can't do that.
He can't do that!
266
00:16:40,094 --> 00:16:42,693
Clarence?
267
00:16:42,694 --> 00:16:46,173
Clarence? I...
Whatever are you doing that for?
268
00:16:46,174 --> 00:16:49,613
Always showing off.
I suppose it's some sort of bet.
269
00:16:49,614 --> 00:16:53,213
Actually, it's quite simple. I...
Calamitous news!
270
00:16:53,214 --> 00:16:57,893
What? McAllister has resigned.
I am not quite sure how it happened.
271
00:16:57,894 --> 00:17:00,653
I was... Good gracious.
272
00:17:00,654 --> 00:17:03,173
Hullo, Guv'nor.
Now, listen to me, Frederick.
273
00:17:03,174 --> 00:17:04,813
You are not to Parsloe Miss Marry.
274
00:17:04,814 --> 00:17:06,813
Understood? Anybody but her.
275
00:17:06,814 --> 00:17:09,733
Your aunt has a demented ambition
to marry you off to some cushion.
276
00:17:09,734 --> 00:17:11,933
Can I marry Miss Donaldson?
277
00:17:11,934 --> 00:17:13,933
Yes. Absolutely. Whoever she is.
278
00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:16,413
Clarence! Stop squawking my name
like some ruddy
279
00:17:16,414 --> 00:17:19,253
multicoloured... sits up here...
mind your fingers. Parrot.
280
00:17:19,254 --> 00:17:22,893
Thank you. Why are you doing upside
down? Don't answer that, no time.
281
00:17:22,894 --> 00:17:27,133
Moreover,
did you or did you not have some
282
00:17:27,134 --> 00:17:31,893
infernal agreement with Stinker
about me giving him the Empress?
283
00:17:31,894 --> 00:17:35,573
I... I am too angry to listen
and to hear you out.
284
00:17:35,574 --> 00:17:38,573
I am going to my room.
285
00:17:38,574 --> 00:17:42,293
So am I. Well, I said it first,
so yah boo sucks and no returnsies.
286
00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:45,253
Childish. So childish!
Can't hear you. Can't hear you.
287
00:17:45,254 --> 00:17:48,013
You are a child.
Can't hear you. Can't hear you.
288
00:17:48,014 --> 00:17:50,694
I'm not chasing you.
I'm not chasing you!
289
00:17:52,574 --> 00:17:53,893
Oh...
290
00:17:53,894 --> 00:17:55,574
Oh.
291
00:18:01,574 --> 00:18:03,053
Beach.
292
00:18:03,054 --> 00:18:06,253
I've blundered, terribly.
I must speak to McAllister.
293
00:18:06,254 --> 00:18:08,813
He left you this note, my Lord,
294
00:18:08,814 --> 00:18:11,934
advising you of his new position.
295
00:18:17,374 --> 00:18:21,733
Squeaky thing... Uncomfortable
seat... Oil on the trouser cuffs.
296
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,013
Bicycle, my Lord?
297
00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:24,374
Quick as you can!
298
00:18:25,934 --> 00:18:29,214
Angus, how could you?
299
00:18:36,334 --> 00:18:38,534
You! You're sacked. Get lost.
300
00:18:40,534 --> 00:18:42,174
Now, McAllister....
301
00:18:43,934 --> 00:18:45,414
..have a sticky willy.
302
00:18:46,614 --> 00:18:48,734
Go on, have a large one.
303
00:18:51,454 --> 00:18:54,573
Ah, Constable Piper.
Reporting for duty, sir.
304
00:18:54,574 --> 00:18:57,293
Through the bench, I have been able
to secure young Piper
305
00:18:57,294 --> 00:18:59,574
as the pumpkin's personal bodyguard.
306
00:19:07,934 --> 00:19:12,133
Ah! Ah! Be a good fellow,
will you, and cut me down?
307
00:19:12,134 --> 00:19:13,774
Yup.
308
00:19:16,094 --> 00:19:17,853
Oh, God.
309
00:19:17,854 --> 00:19:20,213
Ah, um... Felicity.
310
00:19:20,214 --> 00:19:21,533
Yup.
311
00:19:21,534 --> 00:19:24,413
Do you ever say anything
that isn't a monosyllable?
312
00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:25,814
Occasionally.
313
00:19:28,094 --> 00:19:29,373
Oh!
314
00:19:29,374 --> 00:19:32,653
A little less of a sissy
with a bit of colour in your cheeks.
315
00:19:32,654 --> 00:19:37,693
My entire bloodstream has
congregated in my head. But, look,
316
00:19:37,694 --> 00:19:40,213
I thought you blew the flugelhorn
from the speaking end?
317
00:19:40,214 --> 00:19:43,493
Lord, no.
Perfectly regular embouchure.
318
00:19:43,494 --> 00:19:46,334
And I know how to work
all the valves.
319
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:50,053
When I come home, I drag up
like this to ward off
320
00:19:50,054 --> 00:19:52,653
all the ghastly bores
my father wants me to marry.
321
00:19:52,654 --> 00:19:56,173
Well, I'll be...
Careful what you wish for, matey.
322
00:19:56,174 --> 00:19:58,534
Ticky, ticky, ticky!
323
00:20:04,414 --> 00:20:07,293
Oh, no. This is not
what it looks like!
324
00:20:07,294 --> 00:20:09,854
You wouldn't hit
a chap in glasses, would you?
325
00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:18,413
Miss Niagara Donaldson?
What about it?
326
00:20:18,414 --> 00:20:21,533
Just checking. I'm going
to have a word with your uncle.
327
00:20:21,534 --> 00:20:23,053
Oh...
328
00:20:23,054 --> 00:20:25,494
Oh.
329
00:20:44,574 --> 00:20:46,054
McAllister?
330
00:21:09,174 --> 00:21:13,053
Oi! Dismount that apparatus.
Are you taking the...
331
00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:15,693
Get off that bike!
My dear fellow...
332
00:21:15,694 --> 00:21:18,533
Don't you "dear fellow" me, mate.
Right. Name.
333
00:21:18,534 --> 00:21:21,053
My name? No, granny's name.
334
00:21:21,054 --> 00:21:23,973
Erm, Rosalind Elspeth.
What's your name?!
335
00:21:23,974 --> 00:21:30,013
Lord Emsworth. Erm...
Baptised Clarence, 9th Earl.
336
00:21:30,014 --> 00:21:32,213
At school, I was called Fathead.
337
00:21:32,214 --> 00:21:34,733
You're the Earl of Emsworth,
are you, sunshine?
338
00:21:34,734 --> 00:21:36,733
I was never called "sunshine".
339
00:21:36,734 --> 00:21:39,733
Give up your real name, chummy,
or I'm putting the cuffs on you.
340
00:21:39,734 --> 00:21:41,573
He's Lord Emsworth.
341
00:21:41,574 --> 00:21:44,133
Are you saying
you'll vouch for this man, sir?
342
00:21:44,134 --> 00:21:48,853
I tended his park for 20 year.
I'll vouch for the fool.
343
00:21:48,854 --> 00:21:52,093
Right, well,
we'll say no more about it.
344
00:21:52,094 --> 00:21:55,494
Oh. He's taking my bicycle.
345
00:21:57,054 --> 00:21:58,613
McAllister.
346
00:21:58,614 --> 00:22:02,293
Your delightful niece,
whose name inevitably escapes me,
347
00:22:02,294 --> 00:22:04,853
she isn't going to marry Frederick.
No. No. In fact,
348
00:22:04,854 --> 00:22:07,933
she just punched him in the face,
so, you see, it's all wonderful.
349
00:22:07,934 --> 00:22:09,653
You can come back!
350
00:22:09,654 --> 00:22:11,774
I took Sir Grigory's stucky wully.
351
00:22:12,974 --> 00:22:14,573
Did it touch your lips?
352
00:22:14,574 --> 00:22:16,013
It did not.
353
00:22:16,014 --> 00:22:20,294
Well, I am sure
we may consider you untainted.
354
00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:23,893
Angus, what do you say?
355
00:22:23,894 --> 00:22:28,494
Desdemona, there's still time
to present her to the festival.
356
00:22:30,854 --> 00:22:34,253
Ah! Oh, good gracious.
My dear fellow, oh, oh,
357
00:22:34,254 --> 00:22:36,574
you are one in a million. Oh, yes!
358
00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:51,414
Between the two of us, we could make
a very passable panda bear.
359
00:22:57,574 --> 00:22:59,893
I don't suppose
you want to get married, do you,
360
00:22:59,894 --> 00:23:01,533
and all that sort of rot?
361
00:23:01,534 --> 00:23:04,294
Perfectly ghastly
prospect for all concerned.
362
00:23:05,734 --> 00:23:08,454
But it seems to be required.
363
00:23:10,374 --> 00:23:14,573
So, hold the nose
and think of England?
364
00:23:14,574 --> 00:23:15,893
Do you feel up to it?
365
00:23:15,894 --> 00:23:17,493
Yup.
366
00:23:17,494 --> 00:23:22,574
"Yup"? Is that your monosyllable
of choice? Yup. Yup.
367
00:23:24,614 --> 00:23:28,054
Well, so be it.
Jolly old bombs away.
368
00:23:29,334 --> 00:23:32,573
Should we kiss...
I don't think that's necessary. No.
369
00:23:32,574 --> 00:23:35,613
There could be tickling, though.
370
00:23:35,614 --> 00:23:37,773
Ticky. Ticky.
371
00:23:37,774 --> 00:23:40,494
Ticky, ticky, ticky, ticky!
372
00:24:07,814 --> 00:24:09,134
Ah! Beach.
373
00:24:11,014 --> 00:24:15,693
Advance warning. We may be preparing
the castle for an event.
374
00:24:15,694 --> 00:24:18,414
A marquee may be required. What?
375
00:24:19,814 --> 00:24:21,293
I did not speak, your Ladyship.
376
00:24:21,294 --> 00:24:23,734
And I heard you not doing it.
Out with it.
377
00:24:24,934 --> 00:24:29,093
I was... perusing Society Spice,
your Ladyship, and I encountered
378
00:24:29,094 --> 00:24:33,573
some intelligence which I felt
obliged to confide in Lord Emsworth.
379
00:24:33,574 --> 00:24:37,653
I am uncertain if he has grasped
the significance of it.
380
00:24:37,654 --> 00:24:39,413
All right, Beach! Orf you go!
381
00:24:39,414 --> 00:24:41,974
I am in command of the information!
382
00:24:43,494 --> 00:24:45,653
I have rectified everything.
383
00:24:45,654 --> 00:24:48,133
I have re-engaged McAllister.
384
00:24:48,134 --> 00:24:51,653
Moreover, Beach has found out
the queerest thing.
385
00:24:51,654 --> 00:24:56,653
Nicaragua is the sole heiress
of Hiram K Donaldson,
386
00:24:56,654 --> 00:24:58,333
"The Biscuit King".
387
00:24:58,334 --> 00:25:01,813
Yes. She stands to inherit
millions of dollars.
388
00:25:01,814 --> 00:25:06,093
Isn't that extraordinary?
In fact, there she is now.
389
00:25:06,094 --> 00:25:09,294
Going for a walk with some
sort of suitcase.
390
00:25:16,814 --> 00:25:18,934
Do you want a bit and all, Jimmy?
391
00:25:20,614 --> 00:25:22,533
Harvest Festival in an hour.
392
00:25:22,534 --> 00:25:25,133
Thought I'd come
and collect Emsworth's pumpkin,
393
00:25:25,134 --> 00:25:27,893
as I'm entering it for competition,
with my own.
394
00:25:27,894 --> 00:25:30,733
They're both my own, de facto.
395
00:25:30,734 --> 00:25:33,614
We also must fix
surrender of the pig.
396
00:25:36,014 --> 00:25:37,974
Yes... Um...
397
00:25:41,014 --> 00:25:45,053
Felicity, you're amusing
but extremely strange.
398
00:25:45,054 --> 00:25:47,094
You shall not marry Freddie.
399
00:25:48,694 --> 00:25:51,333
Clarence, you're an imbecile,
400
00:25:51,334 --> 00:25:52,613
but I love you.
401
00:25:52,614 --> 00:25:54,413
Too kind. Be quiet.
402
00:25:54,414 --> 00:25:58,493
I shall not see you parted
from your pumpkin or your pig.
403
00:25:58,494 --> 00:26:01,133
Constance, think what you're doing!
404
00:26:01,134 --> 00:26:05,853
No other man of rank will consent
to the burden of Freddie Threepwood.
405
00:26:05,854 --> 00:26:08,773
Damn it, woman, we had a deal!
406
00:26:08,774 --> 00:26:11,453
Sir Gregory, you're an old friend
that I like and admire,
407
00:26:11,454 --> 00:26:14,093
but I wouldn't trust you
as far as I could spit a weasel.
408
00:26:14,094 --> 00:26:16,213
Hurrah for Aunt C!
Be quiet. Freddie.
409
00:26:16,214 --> 00:26:18,573
Emsworths all,
410
00:26:18,574 --> 00:26:20,253
back to the house.
411
00:26:20,254 --> 00:26:22,374
Ha! Ha ha ha!
412
00:26:27,254 --> 00:26:29,733
Beach, did you find a jug?
413
00:26:29,734 --> 00:26:31,213
Aha!
414
00:26:31,214 --> 00:26:34,813
Right! Now, the secret
of a really stiff Rigor Mortis
415
00:26:34,814 --> 00:26:37,134
is plenty of yellow Chartreuse.
416
00:26:38,374 --> 00:26:41,893
Angus! Angus! Oh, my dear fellow!
417
00:26:41,894 --> 00:26:46,013
Good heavens. First prize, Desdemona!
First prize!
418
00:26:46,014 --> 00:26:47,613
Hurrah!
419
00:26:47,614 --> 00:26:49,253
Here you are, Beach.
420
00:26:49,254 --> 00:26:52,853
This'll put lead in your little
propelling pencil. McAllister?
421
00:26:52,854 --> 00:26:56,373
Please apologise to your niece
for my allowing my face
422
00:26:56,374 --> 00:26:58,213
to get in the way of her fist.
423
00:26:58,214 --> 00:27:01,854
If she returns to Blandings,
I'd like to see her again.
424
00:27:04,974 --> 00:27:06,054
Please?
425
00:27:16,534 --> 00:27:17,814
Freddie?
426
00:27:19,734 --> 00:27:22,613
You know that trouser business?
How much do you owe?
427
00:27:22,614 --> 00:27:27,173
Oh, erm... Doesn't matter, just get
my chequebook. In fact, no, wait.
428
00:27:27,174 --> 00:27:29,133
You know those silly songs
429
00:27:29,134 --> 00:27:32,293
that you always play that
irritate me so much? Mm.
430
00:27:32,294 --> 00:27:33,814
Will you play one now?
431
00:27:41,854 --> 00:27:44,653
♪ Here am I, going quietly bonkers
432
00:27:44,654 --> 00:27:46,613
♪ And cos why
433
00:27:46,614 --> 00:27:48,253
♪ I'm dreaming of you
434
00:27:48,254 --> 00:27:49,733
♪ Well, love's no joke
435
00:27:49,734 --> 00:27:52,653
♪ When either is a bloke like me
436
00:27:52,654 --> 00:27:55,133
♪ A-goin' quietly bonkers
437
00:27:55,134 --> 00:27:58,453
♪ Love, they said
Heavens above, they said
438
00:27:58,454 --> 00:28:01,333
♪ It's a heaven an' all
439
00:28:01,334 --> 00:28:04,573
♪ Well, if this is
what they call heaven
440
00:28:04,574 --> 00:28:06,533
♪ For the love of Mike
441
00:28:06,534 --> 00:28:08,133
♪ What's the other place like? ♪
442
00:28:08,134 --> 00:28:09,973
Do you know what I call this, Connie?
443
00:28:09,974 --> 00:28:11,253
Capital?
444
00:28:11,254 --> 00:28:13,134
I call it capital.
445
00:28:15,094 --> 00:28:18,693
♪ The way things are
I feel a proper Charlie
446
00:28:18,694 --> 00:28:21,533
♪ Till I know that you
447
00:28:21,534 --> 00:28:23,533
♪ Are going quietly bonkers
448
00:28:23,534 --> 00:28:25,093
♪ Going quietly bonkers
449
00:28:25,094 --> 00:28:27,614
♪ Going quietly bonkers too. ♪
450
00:28:31,742 --> 00:28:54,840
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