Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,135 --> 00:00:15,305
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
2
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:14,519
Ah, Beach. Brisk this morning, eh?
3
00:01:14,572 --> 00:01:19,352
Have we still got, um,
Lady Constance's new friend with us?
4
00:01:19,401 --> 00:01:20,400
Er...?
5
00:01:20,415 --> 00:01:22,094
Lady Cloughley, my lord. We do.
6
00:01:22,095 --> 00:01:26,174
I cannot understand why my sister
won't let me meet her.
7
00:01:26,525 --> 00:01:29,044
Making me have my dinner up here.
8
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:32,364
I cannot imagine, m'lord.
9
00:01:32,365 --> 00:01:35,424
Is it still your lordship's intention
to travel to London this morning?
10
00:01:35,447 --> 00:01:37,526
What?
11
00:01:37,527 --> 00:01:39,926
Where..where... where... where....
12
00:01:39,927 --> 00:01:42,926
Who...
Who says I have to go to London?
13
00:01:42,927 --> 00:01:46,206
Lady Constance has arranged for his
lordship to stay at his club.
14
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:50,486
Has she, forsooth? Well,
His lordship isn't ruddy going.
15
00:01:50,487 --> 00:01:52,887
She can stick that in her pope
and smike it.
16
00:01:54,007 --> 00:01:56,846
London. Hah!
17
00:01:56,847 --> 00:01:58,087
Heinous metropolis!
18
00:02:04,087 --> 00:02:07,927
Glory be to God for dappled things!
19
00:02:11,287 --> 00:02:14,286
I do look forward to meeting
Clarence.
20
00:02:14,287 --> 00:02:16,606
It's so sad he couldn't dine
with us last night. Yes.
21
00:02:16,607 --> 00:02:21,326
The Arch told me
he was such fun at school.
22
00:02:21,327 --> 00:02:23,447
The Archbishop. Gerald.
My brother.
23
00:02:24,647 --> 00:02:27,766
Ha-ha! Well, I fear, Drusilla,
24
00:02:27,767 --> 00:02:30,606
you may be denied that pleasure
altogether.
25
00:02:30,607 --> 00:02:33,886
Clarence is away this week.
On retreat.
26
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:37,566
Is he? Oh, bully for him.
27
00:02:37,567 --> 00:02:42,606
The Arch
approves of prayer in isolation.
28
00:02:42,607 --> 00:02:46,766
Denying pleasure is for me,
of course, a way of life.
29
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:51,566
What is more, dear, I thoroughly
endorse the heating arrangements.
30
00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:52,886
There are none.
31
00:02:52,887 --> 00:02:54,846
Precisely.
32
00:02:54,847 --> 00:02:59,887
Yes, this "central heating" that
people have - I think it decadent.
33
00:03:01,647 --> 00:03:04,566
I feel sure that it inspires
all manner of immoderate
34
00:03:04,567 --> 00:03:07,727
communion between the sexes.
35
00:03:09,207 --> 00:03:14,086
I am well insulated
from such corruption.
36
00:03:14,087 --> 00:03:16,766
Good.
37
00:03:16,767 --> 00:03:18,767
By my leathern gusset.
38
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,127
Now - come along.
39
00:03:23,807 --> 00:03:25,566
Oh! Company.
40
00:03:25,567 --> 00:03:28,127
I hear the crunch of gravel.
41
00:03:46,847 --> 00:03:49,886
Here we are - Blandings Castle!
42
00:03:49,887 --> 00:03:53,606
Oh, my goodness.
This is just so cute.
43
00:03:53,607 --> 00:03:55,366
Don't you think it's cute,
Mr Grumman?
44
00:03:55,367 --> 00:03:57,966
As hell. Are we going in, or what?
45
00:03:57,967 --> 00:04:00,566
Of course. All very jolly inside.
46
00:04:00,567 --> 00:04:02,527
Guaranteed a warm welcome here.
47
00:04:06,967 --> 00:04:08,007
Hello?
48
00:04:10,327 --> 00:04:11,367
Hello?
49
00:04:13,207 --> 00:04:14,247
Shop?
50
00:04:15,727 --> 00:04:16,767
Oh!
51
00:04:18,327 --> 00:04:22,766
Ah, Beach. Didn't recognise you
with a sock on your head.
52
00:04:22,767 --> 00:04:26,566
This is Mr Jerry Grumman,
visiting us from Hollywood.
53
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:30,127
And Miss Pauline Petite,
also of that parish.
54
00:04:31,527 --> 00:04:36,246
Observe the puceness of the
butlerly pate. He's a fan.
55
00:04:36,247 --> 00:04:40,446
Indeed, Mr Frederick. I have the
lady's pantograph in my photry.
56
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,246
Oh, that's swell.
57
00:04:43,247 --> 00:04:45,486
Let's all buy each other flowers.
58
00:04:45,487 --> 00:04:47,366
Freddie, the talent is icing up.
59
00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:49,606
Even her goose bumps are getting
goose bumps.
60
00:04:49,607 --> 00:04:53,206
Yes, Brynhilde must be up
to her usual nonsense.
61
00:04:53,207 --> 00:04:54,926
The boiler.
62
00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:57,446
Oh, Beach.
63
00:04:57,447 --> 00:05:01,006
On the QT, I've written a scenario.
64
00:05:01,007 --> 00:05:03,166
It's called A Woman's Price.
65
00:05:03,167 --> 00:05:06,086
Grumman's minded to make the picture
with Miss Petite as the star.
66
00:05:06,087 --> 00:05:07,446
You may well gasp!
67
00:05:07,447 --> 00:05:10,046
And I'm trying to flog him
the family shack as the backdrop.
68
00:05:10,047 --> 00:05:14,326
He's agreed to do a bit of a camera
test. Script fee, location fee.
69
00:05:14,327 --> 00:05:15,886
Ker-ching!
70
00:05:15,887 --> 00:05:18,966
Pull this off and crinkle-wise, I'll
be sitting in a bucket of cream.
71
00:05:18,967 --> 00:05:23,286
Oh, also, I might be in with a yodel
with Miss Petite.
72
00:05:23,287 --> 00:05:27,846
Really rather gone on her. Beach?
73
00:05:27,847 --> 00:05:30,486
Sorry, sir.
When did you last see your father?
74
00:05:30,487 --> 00:05:32,086
Eh?
75
00:05:32,087 --> 00:05:35,886
Oh, no. He hasn't still got
the face fungus, has he?
76
00:05:35,887 --> 00:05:38,606
Look, just draw the guv'nor aside
and tell him
77
00:05:38,607 --> 00:05:40,846
the whole of Shropshire
is sniggering up its sleeve.
78
00:05:40,847 --> 00:05:43,126
I cannot, Mr Frederick.
79
00:05:43,127 --> 00:05:46,126
It is without my mandate to
remark on his lordship's appearance.
80
00:05:46,127 --> 00:05:50,886
Oh, yes, yes, of course, I see that.
Without your what?
81
00:05:50,887 --> 00:05:54,206
To venture such a criticism, I should
first have to resign my position.
82
00:05:54,207 --> 00:05:55,726
Good God, you can't do that!
83
00:05:55,727 --> 00:05:58,166
You've got to coax
Brynhilde into fiery glory!
84
00:05:58,167 --> 00:06:01,446
And Miss Petite's alabaster skin
is horripilating.
85
00:06:01,447 --> 00:06:05,606
Frederick?
Who are all these unlikely people?
86
00:06:05,607 --> 00:06:07,526
Oh, they're making, um...
87
00:06:07,527 --> 00:06:10,887
Um... come to fix the heating.
88
00:06:16,127 --> 00:06:19,686
Is it your intention to make
a feature film here, Mr Frederick,
89
00:06:19,687 --> 00:06:23,167
without anybody finding out?
90
00:06:24,447 --> 00:06:29,007
Brilliant. As ever, Beach,
top advice. Thank you.
91
00:06:37,167 --> 00:06:42,926
Benedicas benedicat, per Jesum
Christum, Dominum nostrum. Amen.
92
00:06:42,927 --> 00:06:44,247
Amen.
93
00:06:47,167 --> 00:06:49,686
Have you considered giving
yourself to Jesus?
94
00:06:49,687 --> 00:06:53,686
Well, we've never actually
discussed it specifically.
95
00:06:53,687 --> 00:06:54,847
Who are you?
96
00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:01,367
Is this catering?
97
00:07:07,007 --> 00:07:08,486
Where are the franks?
98
00:07:08,487 --> 00:07:12,646
They are, I believe, a loose
confederation of Germanic peoples.
99
00:07:12,647 --> 00:07:14,167
So... Germany, one hopes.
100
00:07:17,447 --> 00:07:19,446
Who's in charge around here?
101
00:07:19,447 --> 00:07:20,607
Ah... Beach.
102
00:07:22,727 --> 00:07:23,847
Beach, eh?
103
00:07:35,447 --> 00:07:37,447
Hey, baby. You Beach?
104
00:07:39,087 --> 00:07:40,687
Generally later in the day.
105
00:07:42,527 --> 00:07:47,126
♪ My heart was free
106
00:07:47,127 --> 00:07:50,886
♪ I rose, went forth
107
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,886
♪ And followed Thee. ♪
108
00:07:53,887 --> 00:07:58,006
I thought you'd gone.
What on earth are you doing?
109
00:07:58,007 --> 00:08:01,326
We're giving ourself to Jesus.
110
00:08:01,327 --> 00:08:06,206
I see. Well, would you mind awfully
just going somewhere else?
111
00:08:06,207 --> 00:08:08,487
No. Not at all. Excuse me.
112
00:08:12,047 --> 00:08:15,046
That bearded person is very odd.
113
00:08:15,047 --> 00:08:19,326
Yes. Yes, he is, isn't he?
114
00:08:19,327 --> 00:08:21,567
In fact, he's a tramp.
115
00:08:23,527 --> 00:08:24,567
His name...
116
00:08:26,527 --> 00:08:27,567
..is Whiffle.
117
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:32,246
And you allow this Whiffle
the run of the house? Oh, Constance.
118
00:08:32,247 --> 00:08:36,046
What a remarkable kindness
to the disadvantaged.
119
00:08:36,047 --> 00:08:38,446
I think I shall make
Mr Whiffle my project.
120
00:08:38,447 --> 00:08:40,206
No, I really wouldn't bother, dear.
121
00:08:40,207 --> 00:08:44,487
No, I insist. I shall gather this
lost lamb unto my bosom.
122
00:08:46,807 --> 00:08:50,127
There's some interesting
fungus in the shrubbery.
123
00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:05,686
So is your father really a lord?
124
00:09:05,687 --> 00:09:09,486
I mean, that's like a king or something.
Do I have to curtsy when I speak to him?
125
00:09:09,487 --> 00:09:11,606
No. No. But you may have to say
things twice.
126
00:09:11,607 --> 00:09:12,886
Is he hard of hearing?
127
00:09:12,887 --> 00:09:14,446
Bit hard of thinking.
128
00:09:14,447 --> 00:09:17,526
Huh. I bet he's a very wise man.
Hey!
129
00:09:17,527 --> 00:09:19,846
This guy, the Duck of Warlow.
130
00:09:19,847 --> 00:09:23,006
The Duck, yes. The Vile Seducer.
131
00:09:23,007 --> 00:09:24,206
He's the babe hound.
132
00:09:24,207 --> 00:09:27,966
So what we need is some schmo
already to stand in for the action.
133
00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:31,406
Oh, well...
Not you. Somebody older.
134
00:09:31,407 --> 00:09:33,527
Like me.
135
00:09:35,087 --> 00:09:39,287
Er, Mr Grumman? I have just the man.
136
00:09:47,167 --> 00:09:50,486
Freddie! Freddie, now listen to me.
137
00:09:50,487 --> 00:09:54,206
Lady Cloughley must not discover
that your father is your father.
138
00:09:54,207 --> 00:09:56,606
Right. Who is he?
139
00:09:56,607 --> 00:09:59,406
Your father.
But she must not know this.
140
00:09:59,407 --> 00:10:00,446
Do you see?
141
00:10:00,447 --> 00:10:03,687
Um... The beard, Freddie.
Heavens above!
142
00:10:05,127 --> 00:10:06,726
Are you on top of all these plumbers?
143
00:10:06,727 --> 00:10:08,086
What plumbers?
144
00:10:08,087 --> 00:10:10,966
Oh, the plumbers. Absolutely.
145
00:10:10,967 --> 00:10:12,166
Hullo, Frederick.
146
00:10:12,167 --> 00:10:15,086
I have no idea who you are. What?
147
00:10:15,087 --> 00:10:18,886
That the sort of thing you mean?
Yes. You said you were going to your club!
148
00:10:18,887 --> 00:10:23,046
No, no - YOU said I was going to
my club. Not the same thing at all.
149
00:10:23,047 --> 00:10:24,446
The members are already dead.
150
00:10:24,447 --> 00:10:27,606
You could've sat there completely
happily, completely unnoticed.
151
00:10:27,607 --> 00:10:30,686
Oh, go and play with your pig.
Capital idea.
152
00:10:30,687 --> 00:10:34,206
Anything to prevent any further
intercourse with Drusilla Cloughley.
153
00:10:34,207 --> 00:10:39,846
I will not have this friendship compromised
by your ludicrous facial growth.
154
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:43,846
The third and fourth earl
both wore facial hair.
155
00:10:43,847 --> 00:10:46,247
And look what happened to them.
They died.
156
00:10:48,167 --> 00:10:49,606
Is everything all right?
157
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:52,366
No cause for alarm, Lady Fluffly.
I'm just going to see my pig.
158
00:10:52,367 --> 00:10:55,366
The pig lives in the house?
159
00:10:55,367 --> 00:10:58,886
And you allow the village idiot the
run of the place, out of charity.
160
00:10:58,887 --> 00:11:04,006
Oh, Connie, you are magnificent.
161
00:11:04,007 --> 00:11:07,326
Come. You are my special project.
162
00:11:07,327 --> 00:11:08,966
Let us go into the drawing room.
163
00:11:08,967 --> 00:11:12,126
No - you can't!
It's full of plumbers.
164
00:11:12,127 --> 00:11:16,287
Now, you need to arrange
the servants' shoes.
165
00:11:17,687 --> 00:11:19,806
Connie?
He'll be quite happy in there.
166
00:11:19,807 --> 00:11:22,126
Now Drusilla, this time of day,
167
00:11:22,127 --> 00:11:24,446
I like to fall to my knees
and give thanks.
168
00:11:24,447 --> 00:11:28,886
Hallelujah! Let us do so.
169
00:11:28,887 --> 00:11:30,207
On my own. Do excuse me.
170
00:11:33,447 --> 00:11:34,887
Connie?
171
00:11:46,727 --> 00:11:50,206
Oh! Right. That's it. I resign!
172
00:11:50,207 --> 00:11:53,566
I did not come into butling to suffer
beards, spanners and viscous slime.
173
00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:55,686
No, no, no. Beach!
You don't understand.
174
00:11:55,687 --> 00:11:58,366
Miss Petite needs to be
morally tormented.
175
00:11:58,367 --> 00:12:02,407
And you... are just the man
to do it. Come on.
176
00:12:07,007 --> 00:12:09,606
Hey, honey!
177
00:12:09,607 --> 00:12:14,566
Goodness. Such apparatus.
178
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:18,126
These are the basics, doll.
For a test we travel light.
179
00:12:18,127 --> 00:12:20,806
You make a "kinema"
picture of your work?
180
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:22,686
You find that helps?
181
00:12:22,687 --> 00:12:24,366
Yeah. It helps.
182
00:12:24,367 --> 00:12:27,566
Well,
I trust you'll make it really hot.
183
00:12:27,567 --> 00:12:30,566
A broad who likes it hot.
184
00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:32,487
We'll do our best, lady.
185
00:12:41,447 --> 00:12:43,486
Freddie is so charming, you know.
186
00:12:43,487 --> 00:12:46,886
Of course he's charming.
He's a swish.
187
00:12:46,887 --> 00:12:50,126
You're kidding me.
Freddie shoots mink from the hip?
188
00:12:50,127 --> 00:12:54,566
All Englishmen is the same.
It's a miracle they can breed.
189
00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:59,007
Er, Miss Petite?
I have your Vile Seducer!
190
00:13:10,047 --> 00:13:12,606
But sir, you do not understand.
191
00:13:12,607 --> 00:13:17,726
My aunt is a toboggan-faced old
trout who is bound to cut up rough!
192
00:13:17,727 --> 00:13:20,206
Is this really how
they spoke in medieval England?
193
00:13:20,207 --> 00:13:23,006
Oh, take it from me.
And you're doing it perfectly.
194
00:13:23,007 --> 00:13:26,806
Oh, Freddie.
You don't have to pretend with me.
195
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,527
Just be true to yourself, huh?
196
00:13:29,687 --> 00:13:32,686
I tell you - men,
I've had 'em up to here.
197
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:36,286
It's so rare to meet a guy who
doesn't want to, you know...
198
00:13:36,287 --> 00:13:37,526
No! No!
199
00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:39,886
But I do want to, "you know".
200
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:45,526
Even the feeblest amount of "you
know" would sustain me for years.
201
00:13:45,527 --> 00:13:48,406
Dolores? Let's go already.
Come on, out you go.
202
00:13:48,407 --> 00:13:52,646
Places, c'mon. Quiet. All right.
We're going to rehearse.
203
00:13:52,647 --> 00:13:54,206
OK.
204
00:13:54,207 --> 00:13:55,567
Cue the Duck.
205
00:13:57,047 --> 00:14:00,007
And the Duck speaks.
206
00:14:03,447 --> 00:14:05,366
All the time, you poke me.
207
00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:09,006
Provoke me.
Provoke me. You pittle lopsy.
208
00:14:09,007 --> 00:14:11,166
Erm... would you
put your back into it, Beach?
209
00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:15,046
Would you like to put your arm around my waist?
Yes, please. I was addressing Mr Beach.
210
00:14:15,047 --> 00:14:16,846
C'mon, Duck, put some gas into it.
211
00:14:16,847 --> 00:14:18,887
On page two you're gonna tear
her buttons off.
212
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:22,966
And try not to go puce.
213
00:14:22,967 --> 00:14:25,126
Just say the damn line
like you mean it.
214
00:14:25,127 --> 00:14:28,087
But all the time you provoke me!
You little popsy!
215
00:14:30,047 --> 00:14:31,087
Ahhhhh!
216
00:14:34,087 --> 00:14:36,406
Now her, I like.
Does she have an agent?
217
00:14:36,407 --> 00:14:38,247
Freddie, do something!
218
00:14:45,087 --> 00:14:47,166
You snake in the grass!
219
00:14:47,167 --> 00:14:50,687
Your father - the Lord of Emsworth -
would be so ashamed of you.
220
00:14:59,727 --> 00:15:03,326
There is every precedent
for a bearded Emsworth.
221
00:15:03,327 --> 00:15:07,286
Granted, it would be unusual for Connie
to grow a beard of any great substance,
222
00:15:07,287 --> 00:15:12,366
but should she choose to do so,
I would refrain from adverse comment.
223
00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:17,566
I mean, if you yourself felt disposed
to have a beard...
224
00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:21,366
Guv'nor! Desperate times require
desperate measures, you'll agree?
225
00:15:21,367 --> 00:15:24,566
Not in the least. Am I going to
require my chequebook, Frederick?
226
00:15:24,567 --> 00:15:26,286
No, no, no, no.
227
00:15:26,287 --> 00:15:27,446
I am in love.
228
00:15:27,447 --> 00:15:29,406
Naturally. How much d'you need?
229
00:15:29,407 --> 00:15:32,406
No, what I need, old horror,
is for you to accost Miss Petite
230
00:15:32,407 --> 00:15:35,046
and tell her what a marvellous
specimen of manhood is your son.
231
00:15:35,047 --> 00:15:37,326
Specimen of what? Manhood.
Who is? Your son.
232
00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:41,766
But you're my son. Guv'nor. Concentrate.
Look. This is my best shot.
233
00:15:41,767 --> 00:15:44,526
If I bag Pauline Petite,
I am off to Hollywood.
234
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:47,846
Shazam! I shall never
darken your bank account again.
235
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:51,966
Hmm. You have my attention.
It's blissfully simple.
236
00:15:51,967 --> 00:15:55,526
Miss P, you see,
is putty in your lordly paws.
237
00:15:55,527 --> 00:15:58,166
All you have to do is go to her
pretending to be my father...
238
00:15:58,167 --> 00:16:02,166
But I am your father.
And plead my case. Ham it up a bit.
239
00:16:02,167 --> 00:16:05,366
Play the dear old crock with one
foot in the grave, sort of thing.
240
00:16:05,367 --> 00:16:09,246
The girl is charmed, the star-crossed
lovers are united... Frederick.
241
00:16:09,247 --> 00:16:12,966
I am not an "old crock".
242
00:16:12,967 --> 00:16:15,367
Guv'nor, please.
Just speak on my behalf.
243
00:16:23,167 --> 00:16:27,727
Old crock... Ruddy insolence!
Right then, old girl. Plan B.
244
00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:31,686
I saw him, Constance...
245
00:16:31,687 --> 00:16:33,687
ravishing the American girl.
246
00:16:35,607 --> 00:16:39,686
What American girl?
I don't understand at all, Drusilla.
247
00:16:39,687 --> 00:16:42,846
I shall call Beach.
He can get you a glass of brandy.
248
00:16:42,847 --> 00:16:46,606
I hardly think that the
witnessing of a grievous assault
249
00:16:46,607 --> 00:16:49,446
warrants the consumption of alcohol.
250
00:16:49,447 --> 00:16:51,007
Whiffle?
251
00:16:52,807 --> 00:16:54,966
Oh!
252
00:16:54,967 --> 00:16:57,927
Whiffle does rather like
to dress up.
253
00:16:59,367 --> 00:17:03,926
Clarence and I indulge him.
And photograph him.
254
00:17:03,927 --> 00:17:05,886
Ah, Beach.
255
00:17:05,887 --> 00:17:08,526
Aghhhhhh!
256
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,726
For heaven's sake,
257
00:17:10,727 --> 00:17:13,566
is everyone in Blandings now
obliged to grow facial hair?
258
00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:15,286
I do apologize, your ladyship,
259
00:17:15,287 --> 00:17:18,886
but must hasten to reassure you
that the moustache is false.
260
00:17:18,887 --> 00:17:21,086
Why might that reassure me?
261
00:17:21,087 --> 00:17:23,446
It is the glue, my lady...
262
00:17:23,447 --> 00:17:26,566
Beach. If I was to ask you what
was going on in this house,
263
00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:28,207
would I get a sensible reply?
264
00:17:30,487 --> 00:17:33,846
Alas not, your ladyship.
Mr Frederick...
265
00:17:33,847 --> 00:17:36,286
Enough. I haven't got the energy.
266
00:17:36,287 --> 00:17:39,326
The plumbers have failed
to produce even the smallest
267
00:17:39,327 --> 00:17:41,967
amount of heat necessary
to sustain life.
268
00:17:43,127 --> 00:17:45,646
As always, we rely on you, Beach.
269
00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:47,686
I will do my best, your ladyship.
270
00:17:47,687 --> 00:17:51,166
In the meantime, Lady Cloughley
appears to have fainted.
271
00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:55,326
Do you think you could put
her into a reclining position?
272
00:17:55,327 --> 00:17:58,967
You have my permission to handle
her person. Go on!
273
00:18:01,287 --> 00:18:02,886
Come now, Lady Cloughley.
274
00:18:02,887 --> 00:18:04,407
You raise me up.
275
00:18:10,167 --> 00:18:14,286
Would you fetch a very large
glass of brandy?
276
00:18:14,287 --> 00:18:17,646
Would Lady Cloughley...? Not
for Lady Cloughley, it's for me.
277
00:18:17,647 --> 00:18:19,807
I am going to my room.
278
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:27,566
One foot in the ruddy grave...!
279
00:18:27,567 --> 00:18:31,286
Blasted infernal impertinence.
280
00:18:31,287 --> 00:18:32,327
Hollywood!
281
00:18:36,087 --> 00:18:38,126
Hmm.
282
00:18:38,127 --> 00:18:42,566
Hollywood is quite
possibly in North America.
283
00:18:42,567 --> 00:18:44,287
Ah, Beach, capital.
284
00:18:46,327 --> 00:18:50,286
It is imperative that Mr Frederick
lives in Hollywood.
285
00:18:50,287 --> 00:18:51,846
Very good, my lord.
286
00:18:51,847 --> 00:18:55,807
By the way, Beach, your solidarity
has been noted. Good man.
287
00:19:00,687 --> 00:19:03,326
I've had the strangest dream.
288
00:19:03,327 --> 00:19:06,006
I have them
all the time. Fancy a snifter?
289
00:19:06,007 --> 00:19:09,086
Oh, no.
Set down that filthy decoction!
290
00:19:09,087 --> 00:19:11,726
It's not that filthy.
A rather tolerable nose.
291
00:19:11,727 --> 00:19:15,166
There is something profoundly
queer about this house.
292
00:19:15,167 --> 00:19:16,886
Well, you're on the money there.
293
00:19:16,887 --> 00:19:19,046
I haven't given up on you, my man.
294
00:19:19,047 --> 00:19:21,166
I must find Lady Constance.
295
00:19:21,167 --> 00:19:23,886
You'll find her in her bedroom,
scoffing Turkish delights.
296
00:19:23,887 --> 00:19:27,206
If you do go up there, you'll find
an altogether better class of cognac.
297
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:29,646
She conceals it in her scent bottle.
298
00:19:29,647 --> 00:19:32,886
She thinks I don't know about it,
bless her. Funny old girl.
299
00:19:32,887 --> 00:19:34,726
We'll have to see about that!
300
00:19:34,727 --> 00:19:35,767
Hollywood!
301
00:19:54,207 --> 00:19:55,807
Bingo!
302
00:20:03,087 --> 00:20:04,367
Right, missy.
303
00:20:07,327 --> 00:20:09,966
All right, let's get ready.
That's enough, Dolores.
304
00:20:09,967 --> 00:20:14,686
We tried the swish,
we tried the stiff in the vest.
305
00:20:14,687 --> 00:20:16,646
We tried everything.
306
00:20:16,647 --> 00:20:19,126
Now it's time to try it
with a real man.
307
00:20:19,127 --> 00:20:20,966
Can we move on
from the seduction scene?
308
00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:23,206
The seduction scene is fine.
309
00:20:23,207 --> 00:20:25,766
OK, let's go, everybody.
310
00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:27,367
All right.
311
00:20:29,287 --> 00:20:30,567
Lights.
312
00:20:31,927 --> 00:20:33,167
Camera.
313
00:20:35,327 --> 00:20:37,246
Cue the Duck.
314
00:20:37,247 --> 00:20:39,807
Camera test. Seduction scene.
Take one.
315
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,967
All the time, you provoke me,
my little popsy!
316
00:20:47,887 --> 00:20:49,926
Miss Petty Patootie?
Yes!
317
00:20:49,927 --> 00:20:52,486
Am I disturbing you? No.
318
00:20:52,487 --> 00:20:55,167
What? Who is this bum? CUT!
319
00:20:58,807 --> 00:21:00,686
I'm the Earl of Emsworth.
320
00:21:00,687 --> 00:21:03,326
Yeah, like I'm the Duck of Warlow.
321
00:21:03,327 --> 00:21:05,206
Good gracious!
322
00:21:05,207 --> 00:21:06,726
Well, well, what a pleasure.
323
00:21:06,727 --> 00:21:09,046
Look, I don't need to detain you.
324
00:21:09,047 --> 00:21:12,966
I just wanted a quick word
with Miss Plankton O'Porpoise.
325
00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:17,086
It can wait. No, it can't.
Please sir, sit down next to me.
326
00:21:17,087 --> 00:21:20,926
If he's the Earl of Emsworth,
I'll eat my pants.
327
00:21:20,927 --> 00:21:23,166
Good heavens.
328
00:21:23,167 --> 00:21:26,086
"Pants" in American doesn't mean
"pants".
329
00:21:26,087 --> 00:21:28,566
It means "trousers".
330
00:21:28,567 --> 00:21:32,246
My dear fellow, you can't go about
the place eating your trousers.
331
00:21:32,247 --> 00:21:34,166
You'll have yourself arrested.
332
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:38,327
Oh, swell, another music hall
geriatric.
333
00:21:45,647 --> 00:21:47,926
Who the hell are you?
334
00:21:47,927 --> 00:21:50,286
What? What? What was that?
335
00:21:50,287 --> 00:21:52,846
I said - who the hell are you?
336
00:21:52,847 --> 00:21:55,487
Nearly time for luncheon.
337
00:21:56,727 --> 00:21:58,686
Who are you?
338
00:21:58,687 --> 00:22:01,646
Monday is generally spotted dick.
339
00:22:01,647 --> 00:22:03,206
What?
340
00:22:03,207 --> 00:22:05,167
Ah! How d'you do?
341
00:22:06,167 --> 00:22:07,846
I'm the... I'm the...
342
00:22:07,847 --> 00:22:11,326
I'm the Earl of Emsworth,
don't you know?
343
00:22:11,327 --> 00:22:15,006
Might I have a chinwag
with Miss Petite?
344
00:22:15,007 --> 00:22:16,606
Frederick?
345
00:22:16,607 --> 00:22:17,967
Oh, my God.
346
00:22:19,527 --> 00:22:24,247
Is this some sort of game of
charades? I'm a little bit confused.
347
00:22:30,927 --> 00:22:32,767
Suet and sultanas.
348
00:22:42,847 --> 00:22:45,526
And let that be a lesson to you!
349
00:22:45,527 --> 00:22:48,606
So both you bozos is Earl Emsworth
350
00:22:48,607 --> 00:22:52,286
and both of you want to wag
Miss Petite's chin.
351
00:22:52,287 --> 00:22:54,086
This is nuts.
352
00:22:54,087 --> 00:22:57,006
Frederick, my dear boy,
what was it you wanted me
353
00:22:57,007 --> 00:22:59,046
to say to Miss Bovine de Witt?
354
00:22:59,047 --> 00:23:00,886
She's right here, look.
355
00:23:00,887 --> 00:23:04,286
You're the Earl of Emsworth.
Indeed I am, my dear,
356
00:23:04,287 --> 00:23:07,406
and I'd appreciate a brief word
with you about my son.
357
00:23:07,407 --> 00:23:09,007
That one there.
358
00:23:11,487 --> 00:23:12,886
It's a fair cop.
359
00:23:12,887 --> 00:23:14,766
Freddie!
360
00:23:14,767 --> 00:23:16,886
I thought you said
you wouldn't do it.
361
00:23:16,887 --> 00:23:20,966
Ah, but then, y'see - deucedest
thing - I thought of you
362
00:23:20,967 --> 00:23:24,966
and Miss Pamplemousse being married
and living in Hollywood...
363
00:23:24,967 --> 00:23:26,966
Oh, Freddie!
364
00:23:26,967 --> 00:23:28,646
I pretended to be him, you see.
365
00:23:28,647 --> 00:23:30,806
To convince you of my bona fides.
366
00:23:30,807 --> 00:23:32,447
Never mind your bonas.
367
00:23:35,087 --> 00:23:38,287
What's happening?
Freddie, was that supposed to be me?
368
00:23:39,447 --> 00:23:41,846
But I don't have an ear strumpet.
369
00:23:41,847 --> 00:23:43,886
You don't have a silly beard,
either.
370
00:23:43,887 --> 00:23:47,046
No. Oh, you do.
371
00:23:47,047 --> 00:23:48,367
Yes.
372
00:24:11,687 --> 00:24:14,326
As a matter of purely academic
interest, Drusilla,
373
00:24:14,327 --> 00:24:17,606
why are you pouring
eau de cologne all over the carpet?
374
00:24:17,607 --> 00:24:20,687
Eau de diable, more like!
375
00:24:25,007 --> 00:24:27,286
You think I hallucinate?
376
00:24:27,287 --> 00:24:31,526
You want scenes of hideous
sordidness and squalor?
377
00:24:31,527 --> 00:24:33,126
Not especially, no.
378
00:24:33,127 --> 00:24:34,727
Come with me. Come on.
379
00:24:56,487 --> 00:24:58,046
Ah, Lady Muffley...
380
00:24:58,047 --> 00:25:00,046
I have considered giving
myself to Jesus,
381
00:25:00,047 --> 00:25:03,926
and on the whole I have decided
to shave my beard off.
382
00:25:03,927 --> 00:25:08,606
Hallelujah. What's that awful
groaning? Are the plumbers leaving?
383
00:25:08,607 --> 00:25:12,166
Connie, you're daft as a brush.
These people aren't plumbers.
384
00:25:12,167 --> 00:25:13,487
They're making a film.
385
00:25:15,367 --> 00:25:19,086
What? Clarence, what the...
386
00:25:19,087 --> 00:25:24,206
Clarence?
You... are the Earl of Emsworth?
387
00:25:24,207 --> 00:25:28,047
Of course I'm the Earl of Emsworth,
madam. Who are you?
388
00:25:29,567 --> 00:25:32,926
Constance? You have deceived me.
389
00:25:32,927 --> 00:25:35,446
You have presenting your own
brother as a vagrant.
390
00:25:35,447 --> 00:25:39,566
You have called him "Whiffle".
391
00:25:39,567 --> 00:25:46,446
Constance, you are a glutton
and a slattern and a drinker
392
00:25:46,447 --> 00:25:48,446
and I don't believe you pray.
393
00:25:48,447 --> 00:25:51,686
I shall never set foot in this
godless house again.
394
00:25:51,687 --> 00:25:54,087
What've you got to say for yourself?
395
00:26:07,527 --> 00:26:10,486
Ladies and gentlemen,
the central heating is now working.
396
00:26:10,487 --> 00:26:12,526
Beach! You're a man in a million.
397
00:26:12,527 --> 00:26:14,646
I endeavour to give service,
my lord.
398
00:26:14,647 --> 00:26:17,206
Moreover, summon a barber,
for the both of us.
399
00:26:17,207 --> 00:26:18,806
Your moustache is ridiculous.
400
00:26:18,807 --> 00:26:21,766
I will not tolerate facial
foliage at Blandings.
401
00:26:21,767 --> 00:26:24,567
Very good, my lord.
402
00:26:38,287 --> 00:26:40,927
Is that supposed to happen?
403
00:26:45,007 --> 00:26:47,326
Hey, you - Constanza.
404
00:26:47,327 --> 00:26:49,206
If any of my equipment is damaged,
405
00:26:49,207 --> 00:26:51,846
I sure hope you're
insured for sue-age.
406
00:26:51,847 --> 00:26:56,126
Clarence, would you kindly go to
your study and fetch your assegai.
407
00:26:56,127 --> 00:26:57,526
Oh, splendid.
408
00:26:57,527 --> 00:26:59,326
What? His assy-what?
409
00:26:59,327 --> 00:27:03,966
A Zulu spear. Fascinating
artefact. Terrifyingly sharp.
410
00:27:03,967 --> 00:27:07,567
I fear you are about to
feel its presence in your person.
411
00:27:15,807 --> 00:27:18,087
So I guess I'll see you around,
Freddie.
412
00:27:19,687 --> 00:27:21,247
And when I do...
413
00:27:25,047 --> 00:27:27,007
Oh!
414
00:27:34,007 --> 00:27:38,446
Ah! Thank you, Beach.
415
00:27:38,447 --> 00:27:40,406
The plumbers appear to be departing.
416
00:27:40,407 --> 00:27:42,166
Indeed, my lord.
417
00:27:42,167 --> 00:27:45,446
Would you recommend them?
People are bound to ask.
418
00:27:45,447 --> 00:27:48,686
They have been most entertaining,
my lord.
419
00:27:48,687 --> 00:27:54,006
Good. Oh look, look,
there's Miss Pansy Petticoat.
420
00:27:54,007 --> 00:27:58,766
There, the one temporarily attached
to Frederick's face.
421
00:27:58,767 --> 00:28:03,807
For a minute there I thought she was going
to whisk him away to Holloway, but not to be.
422
00:28:05,207 --> 00:28:08,446
One presses on in hope, eh, Beach?
423
00:28:08,447 --> 00:28:10,886
One does, my lord.
424
00:28:10,887 --> 00:28:16,207
I've been giving a bit of thought
to... to growing a beard...
425
00:28:26,887 --> 00:28:28,207
Cut!
426
00:28:28,213 --> 00:28:54,080
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
32977
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof