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Now Clarence, I know it
hurts your brain,
3
00:00:22,487 --> 00:00:25,481
but it is essential
that you concentrate.
4
00:00:25,482 --> 00:00:27,452
What are you going to do about this?
5
00:00:27,248 --> 00:00:31,309
Scarify in the autumn and spread
liberally with top-quality muck.
6
00:00:31,310 --> 00:00:35,240
I speak of Gertrude.
7
00:00:35,241 --> 00:00:39,267
Oh. Isn't that the wretched girl
forever rearranging my books?
8
00:00:39,268 --> 00:00:42,325
She must be kept occupied.
To get her away from Bingham.
9
00:00:42,326 --> 00:00:46,240
Is Bingham a particularly
dreary place?
10
00:00:46,241 --> 00:00:50,253
Rupert Bingham is the man
she wishes to marry. The priest.
11
00:00:50,254 --> 00:00:51,300
Oh, jolly good.
12
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:56,320
No, I mean dreadful, awful person,
out of the question.
13
00:00:56,321 --> 00:00:59,277
Connie, I've got no idea
who these people are.
14
00:00:59,278 --> 00:01:01,256
Gertrude is your niece.
15
00:01:01,257 --> 00:01:03,244
Another one! Good heavens.
16
00:01:03,245 --> 00:01:04,321
Bingham is a pauper.
17
00:01:04,322 --> 00:01:06,280
What do you expect me to do?
18
00:01:06,281 --> 00:01:09,308
I expect you to dance, Clarence.
19
00:01:09,309 --> 00:01:12,228
The girl needs taking
out of herself.
20
00:01:12,229 --> 00:01:16,296
Sir Gregory is giving a summer ball,
next Saturday.
21
00:01:16,297 --> 00:01:20,232
You shall dance with Gertrude,
just once
22
00:01:20,233 --> 00:01:23,316
then pass her to some
eligible gentlemen.
23
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:29,236
You may close your mouth now,
Clarence. Young girls love to dance.
24
00:01:29,237 --> 00:01:31,243
I am not a young girl, Connie.
25
00:01:31,244 --> 00:01:33,305
Oh, perpetually
thinking of yourself.
26
00:01:33,306 --> 00:01:36,272
Now, Herr Schnellhund
is calling shortly.
27
00:01:36,273 --> 00:01:37,301
Your dancing master.
28
00:01:46,253 --> 00:01:49,249
I don't suppose you have them
in Portugal, but this is a castle.
29
00:01:49,250 --> 00:01:53,240
It was built by Norman
the Conqueror.
30
00:01:53,241 --> 00:01:55,295
The bloke who married Elizabeth,
the Queen Virgin.
31
00:01:55,296 --> 00:01:59,289
All a bit pointless, this, you don't
understand a word I'm saying.
32
00:01:59,290 --> 00:02:03,284
Hah! I usually hit that tree.
33
00:02:03,285 --> 00:02:06,253
That's the spirit!
34
00:02:08,241 --> 00:02:09,288
Beach, please.
35
00:02:09,289 --> 00:02:13,303
Isn't there enough sadness in the world
without you cleawing your thwoat at people?
36
00:02:13,304 --> 00:02:16,287
Her ladyship wishes to see you,
Miss Gertrude.
37
00:02:16,288 --> 00:02:18,307
Well, I do not wish to see my aunt.
38
00:02:18,308 --> 00:02:22,321
It is because of her I suffer
the tewwible torments of Pwometheus.
39
00:02:22,322 --> 00:02:24,325
Very well, Miss.
40
00:02:26,281 --> 00:02:29,304
Guv'nor! How the hell are you?
41
00:02:29,305 --> 00:02:33,243
Riven with anxiety, Frederick.
Can we conclude this quickly?
42
00:02:33,244 --> 00:02:34,267
How much do you need?
43
00:02:34,268 --> 00:02:36,301
Dear old ghoul,
I haven't come to sponge.
44
00:02:36,302 --> 00:02:41,312
I wanted you to meet Miss Paquita
Manganara.
45
00:02:41,313 --> 00:02:43,296
From Portugal.
46
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:46,280
She doesn't speak a word of English.
47
00:02:46,281 --> 00:02:47,324
How refreshing.
48
00:02:47,325 --> 00:02:49,275
I met her at the Pink Pussy Club.
49
00:02:49,276 --> 00:02:53,273
She was dancing in a little dress
entirely composed of bananas.
50
00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:56,324
Good heavens.
Exactly what I said.
51
00:02:56,325 --> 00:02:58,284
Miss Paquita?
52
00:02:58,285 --> 00:03:03,288
Manganara. Actually, Guv'nor,
that's a bit of a moot point.
53
00:03:03,289 --> 00:03:06,292
Technically, you're fondling the paw
54
00:03:06,293 --> 00:03:10,236
of The Honourable Mrs Paquita
Threepwood.
55
00:03:10,237 --> 00:03:11,248
Oh.
56
00:03:11,249 --> 00:03:13,264
I seem to have married her.
57
00:03:13,265 --> 00:03:15,248
Inadvertently. Yes.
58
00:03:15,249 --> 00:03:18,269
I think at some stage you should
probably release her hand.
59
00:03:25,229 --> 00:03:28,323
I thought I'd better pole on down with the
child bride and explain her to the family.
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00:03:28,324 --> 00:03:32,301
Frederick. The one thing you must
absolutely not do is explain
61
00:03:32,302 --> 00:03:37,272
Miss Hangbanana to anyone,
particularly your aunt.
62
00:03:37,273 --> 00:03:38,292
Beach?
63
00:03:38,293 --> 00:03:42,268
The telephone, my lord,
for Mr Threepwood.
64
00:03:42,269 --> 00:03:44,308
It's a Mr Beefy for you, sir.
65
00:03:44,309 --> 00:03:47,233
Speaking. What?
66
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,321
How did you manage
to break a bath?
67
00:03:54,237 --> 00:03:56,280
No, no. I'm on my way.
68
00:03:56,281 --> 00:03:59,231
Friend of mine just landed
up at The Goat and Feathers.
69
00:03:59,232 --> 00:04:01,265
He's in a jam. Shan't be a tick.
70
00:04:01,266 --> 00:04:04,296
Keep my Portuguese wife amused,
will you?
71
00:04:04,297 --> 00:04:06,261
Friend.
72
00:04:07,301 --> 00:04:10,265
Portuguese friend.
73
00:04:16,237 --> 00:04:19,269
Lord, help us now, thy servant.
74
00:04:25,285 --> 00:04:27,264
Thank you.
75
00:04:27,265 --> 00:04:33,261
Er, landlord? I trust that covers
the damage to the bath? Thank you.
76
00:04:36,233 --> 00:04:38,275
All I did was sit in the thing,
I didn't chuck it about.
77
00:04:38,276 --> 00:04:40,237
Was that entirely proper, Beefy?
78
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:45,228
Calling on the Almighty to help you
twist some bloke's arm off?
79
00:04:45,229 --> 00:04:47,272
Look at you, you need a nurse.
80
00:04:47,273 --> 00:04:50,320
It's not a nurse I need.
It's Gertrude.
81
00:04:50,321 --> 00:04:53,263
Your Aunt Constance has
forbidden our marriage.
82
00:04:53,264 --> 00:04:57,237
My aunt is famous for derailing
the locomotive of young love.
83
00:04:57,238 --> 00:05:02,280
But I love her, Freddie.
I love her! Gertrude, not your aunt.
84
00:05:02,281 --> 00:05:06,301
So, Gertrude's banged up till she
gets over you, because you won't do.
85
00:05:06,302 --> 00:05:10,236
And you're here in order
to be close to her.
86
00:05:10,237 --> 00:05:12,305
That's the full extent of the plan,
is it? Yes?
87
00:05:14,249 --> 00:05:16,293
Ah, have you ever met Aunt Connie?
88
00:05:16,294 --> 00:05:18,308
No! How about the Guv'nor?
89
00:05:18,309 --> 00:05:22,249
No! You see? Already
we're on top of the sitch.
90
00:05:23,317 --> 00:05:25,269
Sorry.
91
00:05:26,305 --> 00:05:30,237
What you need to do, old wound,
is bring the Guv'nor gaiety.
92
00:05:30,238 --> 00:05:32,240
Be attentive, courteous.
93
00:05:32,241 --> 00:05:33,307
He shall gather you unto his bosom,
94
00:05:33,308 --> 00:05:36,283
and my aunt shall not dare
stand in his way.
95
00:05:36,284 --> 00:05:39,233
Allow me to prepare the ground,
nothing can go wrong.
96
00:05:40,281 --> 00:05:42,260
Ah. What's gone wrong?
97
00:05:42,261 --> 00:05:45,267
I don't appear to have any brakes.
Not to worry.
98
00:05:45,268 --> 00:05:46,297
I have a spare set.
99
00:05:55,297 --> 00:05:58,256
Foxgloves.
100
00:05:58,257 --> 00:06:02,253
Gloves, for erm... foxes.
101
00:06:11,253 --> 00:06:12,297
Very small ones. Guv'nor!
102
00:06:12,298 --> 00:06:14,256
Oh, thank God for that.
103
00:06:14,257 --> 00:06:18,276
Sorry about that. Hello, angel!
Did you miss me savagely?
104
00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:21,259
Now Guv'nor, listen,
I must bend your ear about Beefers.
105
00:06:21,260 --> 00:06:23,251
What is Beefers? Friend of mine.
106
00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:25,287
Miserable as hell cos
he is denied the girl he loves,
107
00:06:25,288 --> 00:06:28,283
and all that sort of rot.
Can he come and stay for a bit?
108
00:06:28,284 --> 00:06:32,245
Very well, Frederick. This fellow's
name, Beefy, what did you say?
109
00:06:33,301 --> 00:06:36,232
Popjoy. Popjoy?
110
00:06:36,233 --> 00:06:38,324
Absolutely. Beefy Popjoy.
111
00:06:38,325 --> 00:06:43,268
He'll be company for Gertrude,
perk her up a bit.
112
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:46,312
Beefy Fopjoy! Dancing.
113
00:06:46,313 --> 00:06:50,229
Portuguese persons.
114
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,276
Skirts of ruddy bananas.
115
00:06:54,277 --> 00:06:57,317
I have been making impwovements
to the distwibution of your books.
116
00:06:57,318 --> 00:06:59,244
Now look here, my dear.
117
00:06:59,245 --> 00:07:02,255
If you've hidden my Whiffle,
I shall not be answerable.
118
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:05,281
Care Of The Pig is where you
dwopped it. In your study.
119
00:07:05,282 --> 00:07:07,308
Ah.
120
00:07:07,309 --> 00:07:11,260
Do you know why I do this?
Weawwange things?
121
00:07:11,261 --> 00:07:14,240
It is called displacement activity.
122
00:07:14,241 --> 00:07:17,311
Is it? I do it to stop myself
lacewating my flesh
123
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:20,301
and feeding my own bwoken body
to your wetched pig.
124
00:07:20,302 --> 00:07:24,316
Your tie is cwooked, Uncle Clawence.
125
00:07:24,317 --> 00:07:26,241
I like it cwooked.
126
00:07:28,285 --> 00:07:32,260
It must be glowious
to be as old as you.
127
00:07:32,261 --> 00:07:34,321
Such a short step to the silent
wapture of the gwave.
128
00:07:34,322 --> 00:07:38,272
What do you mean "a short step,"
my dear?
129
00:07:38,273 --> 00:07:42,300
My own dear father lived to be
nearly 90...
130
00:07:42,301 --> 00:07:46,237
Don't. Don't. You make it sound
so despewate and dweadful.
131
00:07:47,277 --> 00:07:51,285
Her ladyship invites you, my lord,
to meet a German person.
132
00:07:58,317 --> 00:08:01,248
This is Herr Schnellhund.
133
00:08:01,249 --> 00:08:05,251
You know how I feel about fellows
with tufty little beards, Connie,
134
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:08,239
they give me the heebie-jeebies.
Don't be absurd.
135
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,261
I can't trust him.
He could be anybody.
136
00:08:10,262 --> 00:08:12,240
All yours, Herr Schnellhund.
137
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,313
Oh, no... Ah, ah...
138
00:08:18,253 --> 00:08:19,321
Dancing master, eh?
139
00:08:19,322 --> 00:08:22,324
I am so, Lord Emsvurt.
140
00:08:22,325 --> 00:08:27,248
Before zis, I vurked in ein
slaughterhouse.
141
00:08:27,249 --> 00:08:34,249
And so I understand precisely how ze
portions of ze body... connect.
142
00:08:39,305 --> 00:08:43,297
And so I demonstrate.
143
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:49,280
No, no... no, no, no, no, no.
144
00:08:49,281 --> 00:08:53,272
Ein zwei drei, zwei zwei drei,
145
00:08:53,273 --> 00:08:58,316
drei zwei drei. Lead the lady.
146
00:08:58,317 --> 00:09:00,265
Ha!
147
00:09:02,301 --> 00:09:06,260
Mark me, Beefy, the wheeze is afoot.
148
00:09:06,261 --> 00:09:09,256
It is established that
your name is Popjoy.
149
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:12,317
Popjoy? You're a very rich man,
but your money's all tied up abroad.
150
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:15,288
Brazil. Where the nuts come from.
151
00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:16,296
Popjoy?
152
00:09:16,297 --> 00:09:20,277
Must dash. Supposed to be
showing my wife round the old dump.
153
00:09:20,278 --> 00:09:22,317
Friend. My friend.
154
00:09:27,237 --> 00:09:31,256
Popjoy. Yeah.
155
00:09:31,257 --> 00:09:33,321
There's a Mr Popjoy here,
your Lordship.
156
00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:39,284
Popjoy. You expecting
any sort of Popjoy, Gertrude?
157
00:09:39,285 --> 00:09:43,267
I expect nothing but an eternity
of gwinding, gwisly torment.
158
00:09:43,268 --> 00:09:46,317
Must be for me then.
All right, wheel him in, Beach.
159
00:09:46,318 --> 00:09:50,325
My dear, I beg you to be a little
less funereal for Mr...
160
00:09:53,273 --> 00:09:56,284
You must be Gertrude Armstrong.
161
00:09:56,285 --> 00:09:58,292
Oh, I must.
162
00:09:58,293 --> 00:10:01,296
My name is Popjoy. You see?
163
00:10:01,297 --> 00:10:03,268
Oh, yes.
164
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,308
Lord Emsworth.
165
00:10:04,309 --> 00:10:08,241
No, no, sir, please don't get up.
Let me come to you.
166
00:10:09,313 --> 00:10:11,304
How do you do?
167
00:10:11,305 --> 00:10:15,248
He's called Fang,
after one of my aunts.
168
00:10:15,249 --> 00:10:18,248
Family joke.
169
00:10:18,249 --> 00:10:20,237
Reverend.
170
00:10:22,325 --> 00:10:24,273
Beach.
171
00:10:27,261 --> 00:10:30,251
What do I say when I finally
run into Aunt Constance?
172
00:10:30,252 --> 00:10:32,291
I'm here with a girl
who shimmies round the Pussy
173
00:10:32,292 --> 00:10:35,299
in a girdle of soft fruit.
My aunt will be nonplussed.
174
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,299
If she finds out
I've married the girl,
175
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:41,321
and that's what I've done, her non
will be plussed off the scale.
176
00:10:41,322 --> 00:10:44,269
Things here are not as they seem.
177
00:10:45,281 --> 00:10:47,260
What do I say?
178
00:10:47,261 --> 00:10:50,325
Do you intend to conduct your entire
married life in secret?
179
00:10:50,326 --> 00:10:53,317
That's a plan. Thank you, Beach.
180
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:09,231
Eh? This bruiser
with the great warty conk?
181
00:11:09,232 --> 00:11:10,307
He's the second earl.
182
00:11:10,308 --> 00:11:14,301
Hilariously, this is the picture
that's actually worth something.
183
00:11:14,302 --> 00:11:17,316
Oh, good God.
184
00:11:17,317 --> 00:11:20,292
I mean, hello, Aunt!
185
00:11:20,293 --> 00:11:25,297
Allow me to present
Paquita Manganara. She is my friend.
186
00:11:28,249 --> 00:11:35,237
Paquita Escevillege Jerecazavege
Manganara, Princesa.
187
00:11:39,245 --> 00:11:40,317
Delightful.
188
00:11:43,281 --> 00:11:47,269
That is how the pluperfect is formed
in the Aramaic of St Luke.
189
00:11:47,270 --> 00:11:50,260
How incwedibly amusing.
190
00:11:50,261 --> 00:11:54,229
I don't know that because I'm
a priest. Because I'm not.
191
00:11:56,301 --> 00:11:58,268
I like your guest.
192
00:11:58,269 --> 00:12:01,321
Poppers is a scream when he gets
going on the old pluperfect.
193
00:12:01,322 --> 00:12:04,256
Not Mr Popjoy. Popjoy is an idiot.
194
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:05,317
I mean the Princess.
195
00:12:05,318 --> 00:12:10,280
Oh, her. Oh, good. That's... useful.
196
00:12:10,281 --> 00:12:12,285
I didn't know she was a princess?
197
00:12:12,286 --> 00:12:15,288
Oh, God. Pay her more attention,
Freddie.
198
00:12:15,289 --> 00:12:19,284
The Manganaras, I believe,
are a very old family.
199
00:12:19,285 --> 00:12:21,276
Oh. She seems rather young.
200
00:12:21,277 --> 00:12:24,265
Oh, God.
201
00:12:25,325 --> 00:12:29,252
Oh, good Heavens!
Lord Emsworth, I am so...
202
00:12:29,253 --> 00:12:31,261
Oh, it doesn't matter!
Does it, Uncle Clawence?
203
00:12:31,262 --> 00:12:34,280
Just a silly decanter.
It was tewwibly old.
204
00:12:34,281 --> 00:12:35,308
Georgian.
205
00:12:35,309 --> 00:12:37,308
Do go on, Mr Popjoy.
206
00:12:37,309 --> 00:12:40,301
I don't know what was I saying?
207
00:12:47,325 --> 00:12:51,255
Mr Popjoy. Your business concerns
are in Brazil, I gather.
208
00:12:51,256 --> 00:12:52,313
Where the nuts come from.
209
00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:56,320
What language do you speak
over there, for business?
210
00:12:56,321 --> 00:12:58,320
Not Portuguese.
211
00:12:58,321 --> 00:13:00,280
Portuguese.
212
00:13:00,281 --> 00:13:04,228
How convenient! We can now converse
with Miss Manganara.
213
00:13:04,229 --> 00:13:09,245
Oh, yes. So let us establish what
it is she requires from Beach.
214
00:13:12,241 --> 00:13:13,295
What is occurring now?
215
00:13:13,296 --> 00:13:16,283
Mr Popjoy is about to speak
Portuguese. Good Lord.
216
00:13:16,284 --> 00:13:19,275
As long as he doesn't stink up
the air with German
217
00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:21,317
like that dismal creature
Schweinhund.
218
00:13:21,318 --> 00:13:24,261
Schnellhund!
219
00:13:25,293 --> 00:13:26,321
Please.
220
00:13:30,245 --> 00:13:31,272
Senyorlaga.
221
00:13:31,273 --> 00:13:37,272
Moy copinas al fresco bladdaronica
la bamba-bamba
222
00:13:37,273 --> 00:13:42,321
de tinklebotski vavavoom.
Beach.
223
00:13:50,281 --> 00:13:53,300
At home she has 20 chefs.
224
00:13:53,301 --> 00:13:56,301
None could cook a chop like this.
225
00:13:58,301 --> 00:14:01,300
Bravo! Porcaria total!
Very kind.
226
00:14:01,301 --> 00:14:04,241
See that she has everything
she needs, Freddie,
227
00:14:04,242 --> 00:14:07,268
The Princesa is so agreeable.
228
00:14:07,269 --> 00:14:09,320
Connie?
229
00:14:09,321 --> 00:14:15,228
Mr Popjoy seems to exert a pleasing
fascination over...
230
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:18,275
Do you think he might...
care to accompany her to the ball?
231
00:14:18,276 --> 00:14:21,269
You cannot escape dancing
by means of Popjoy.
232
00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:25,292
He has all the natural
grace of a hippopotamus.
233
00:14:25,293 --> 00:14:28,260
The Princesa, however,
234
00:14:28,261 --> 00:14:32,236
has the hauteur of the continental
aristocracy.
235
00:14:32,237 --> 00:14:34,307
Extraordinary that she consents
to be a friend of Freddie's.
236
00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:37,239
As long as he doesn't make
a lunge at her...
237
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,285
Beach, you're hovering.
238
00:14:38,286 --> 00:14:41,264
I do apologise, your ladyship.
239
00:14:41,265 --> 00:14:45,263
It is merely that we seem to be
missing a number of spoons.
240
00:14:45,264 --> 00:14:48,233
Shake down the tufty German,
that's my advice.
241
00:14:48,234 --> 00:14:51,240
Be surprised what falls
out his pockets.
242
00:14:51,241 --> 00:14:53,281
Sir, are you indisposed?
243
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,260
Whoops! Sorry!
244
00:14:57,261 --> 00:14:59,321
Brazil must be so dull
without you, Mr Popjoy.
245
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:05,324
Psst! Where's Beefy?
246
00:15:05,325 --> 00:15:08,276
Isn't he a bunny wabbit?
247
00:15:08,277 --> 00:15:11,299
I wish your father and Aunt Connie
thought he was a bunny wabbit.
248
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:15,275
He's doing the right thing,
and he's just got to do more of it.
249
00:15:15,276 --> 00:15:18,325
I mustn't be seen talking like this.
My wife wouldn't like it.
250
00:15:21,285 --> 00:15:24,241
My Friend. Friend.
251
00:15:25,269 --> 00:15:29,272
Ein, zwei, drei...
252
00:15:29,273 --> 00:15:32,240
♪ When I take my sugar to tea
253
00:15:32,241 --> 00:15:35,248
♪ All the boys are jealous of me
254
00:15:35,249 --> 00:15:37,312
♪ Cos I never take them... ♪
255
00:15:37,313 --> 00:15:40,260
What are you doing?
256
00:15:40,261 --> 00:15:44,309
Lord Emsworth. I am concerned
that you are foaming at the mouth.
257
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,268
I'm cleaning my teeth.
258
00:15:46,269 --> 00:15:50,237
Well, allow me to be of assistance
with that.
259
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:09,245
Evening my boy. As you were.
260
00:16:19,237 --> 00:16:21,241
I hope you have a peaceful night.
261
00:16:30,309 --> 00:16:33,285
I have scissors, Freddie.
262
00:16:37,321 --> 00:16:41,248
♪ Because I never take them
where the gang goes
263
00:16:41,249 --> 00:16:44,296
♪ When I take my sugar to tea. ♪
264
00:16:44,297 --> 00:16:47,269
Do carry on! I'm off
to consult the Empress.
265
00:16:47,270 --> 00:16:52,273
Wupert. My uncle is dewanged.
You must hasten to his wescue.
266
00:16:54,297 --> 00:16:58,288
The worst thing is I have to dance
in ruddy German!
267
00:16:58,289 --> 00:17:02,237
Ein, zwei, drei, zwei, zwei, drei.
268
00:17:04,277 --> 00:17:08,317
Lord Emsworth! Allow me.
My dear fellow, I entreat you...
269
00:17:11,237 --> 00:17:14,252
Lord Emsworth?
Keep your distance, sir!
270
00:17:14,253 --> 00:17:16,300
My ankle, get off me!
271
00:17:16,301 --> 00:17:18,301
I'm so sorry, sir,
was that your eye?
272
00:17:41,265 --> 00:17:45,308
Ah. There you are.
273
00:17:45,309 --> 00:17:50,245
Look, I rather wanted Beefy
to translate this for me.
274
00:17:51,297 --> 00:17:58,232
But I was wondering,
as we are, as it were...
275
00:17:58,233 --> 00:18:01,228
married,
276
00:18:01,229 --> 00:18:08,313
should I perhaps be slipping in
for a bit?
277
00:18:12,249 --> 00:18:15,228
You know...
278
00:18:15,229 --> 00:18:17,285
Ah.
279
00:18:40,313 --> 00:18:44,317
Vetinary Sprain Elixir.
Does wonders for the Empress.
280
00:19:29,305 --> 00:19:32,229
My ruddy foot's on fire!
281
00:19:42,285 --> 00:19:48,248
"Should the preparation
come into contact with the skin,
282
00:19:48,249 --> 00:19:52,276
"douse at once with plenty of water."
283
00:19:52,277 --> 00:19:53,308
All right..
284
00:19:53,309 --> 00:19:58,325
Your eyes are like golden planets
glimpsed in the canopy of heaven.
285
00:20:07,285 --> 00:20:08,321
I think that's uncle Clawence.
286
00:20:08,322 --> 00:20:13,244
Good gwief. Wun, Wupert.
Wun!
287
00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:14,325
He's dwowning!
288
00:20:16,261 --> 00:20:19,264
Lord Emsworth! I hear you, sir!
289
00:20:19,265 --> 00:20:24,312
I have a bearing on you! The most
important thing is not to panic.
290
00:20:24,313 --> 00:20:28,268
The great mistake of the drowning
man is to panic.
291
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,316
You, no, no!
292
00:20:29,317 --> 00:20:33,256
Yes, I am with you now, sir!
All is well.
293
00:20:33,257 --> 00:20:35,232
Ow!
294
00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:37,235
Try not to struggle, Lord Emsworth!
295
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,287
You have banged your head
on my instrument.
296
00:20:39,288 --> 00:20:42,315
I'm now going to put
my arm around your chest.
297
00:20:42,316 --> 00:20:45,273
If you resist me, sir,
I must incapacitate you.
298
00:20:45,274 --> 00:20:50,285
Forgive me, sir, but your life
is at risk and I have had training.
299
00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:57,245
There we go. You're safe now, sir.
300
00:21:03,261 --> 00:21:05,289
..Unhand me, sir!
301
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:17,236
Frederick?
302
00:21:17,237 --> 00:21:21,256
Guv'nor. Yes.
303
00:21:21,257 --> 00:21:24,304
Tricky to explain.
Unusual evening.
304
00:21:24,305 --> 00:21:30,316
Aunt Connie was advising me
to marry my wife. Then it all..
305
00:21:30,317 --> 00:21:32,272
Got rather out of hand.
306
00:21:32,273 --> 00:21:34,289
My evening also was eventful.
307
00:21:37,261 --> 00:21:42,264
Your friend Popjoy is one of the most
appalling young men I ever met.
308
00:21:42,265 --> 00:21:45,288
His name's not Popjoy,
it's Bingham.
309
00:21:45,289 --> 00:21:47,264
The improvement is neglible.
310
00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:50,239
He's the bird whose marriage
to Gertrude you have forbidden.
311
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:51,271
And he's tried really hard.
312
00:21:51,272 --> 00:21:55,255
All you had to do was slip him
a vicarage with a bit of an income.
313
00:21:55,256 --> 00:21:57,255
Why should he wish to be
slipped a vicarage?
314
00:21:57,256 --> 00:21:59,325
Because he's a parson, obviously.
315
00:21:59,326 --> 00:22:03,296
Mr Beefers is a priest?
316
00:22:03,297 --> 00:22:06,236
Oh, God help us.
317
00:22:06,237 --> 00:22:09,264
Ah, Beach. A review of The Empress.
318
00:22:09,265 --> 00:22:10,305
Straight away, my lord?
319
00:22:10,306 --> 00:22:13,244
If not sooner.
320
00:22:13,245 --> 00:22:15,320
So, will you give Beefy a job?
321
00:22:15,321 --> 00:22:18,280
I will not. I see. Very well.
322
00:22:18,281 --> 00:22:22,263
Will you condescend instead to help
your only son in his hour of need?
323
00:22:22,264 --> 00:22:23,315
You have an elder brother.
324
00:22:23,316 --> 00:22:26,275
You quibble. Come on, Guv'nor.
Do something.
325
00:22:26,276 --> 00:22:28,315
When Aunt C finds out
I've been hitched all along,
326
00:22:28,316 --> 00:22:31,285
and never had a knees-up
to which she could wear a hat,
327
00:22:31,286 --> 00:22:35,280
she'll saw open my cranium
and feast on my brains.
328
00:22:35,281 --> 00:22:40,281
A meagre luncheon it will be. Good
morning to you, sir.
329
00:22:46,237 --> 00:22:47,277
Popjoy.
330
00:22:54,301 --> 00:22:59,260
Would you please translate?
Princesa Paquita.
331
00:22:59,261 --> 00:23:04,248
As you are aware, my nephew
is a very charming, literate,
332
00:23:04,249 --> 00:23:06,289
and intensely intelligent young man.
333
00:23:06,290 --> 00:23:08,312
Say it.
334
00:23:08,313 --> 00:23:12,304
Princesa, la goono com pompadiddy
335
00:23:12,305 --> 00:23:18,265
vala distra mwa mwa brainioroony.
336
00:23:20,241 --> 00:23:22,296
He is of noble birth.
337
00:23:22,297 --> 00:23:25,276
E nobbly narto-tarto.
338
00:23:25,277 --> 00:23:27,292
He is eligible.
339
00:23:27,293 --> 00:23:29,320
E ligalabalo.
340
00:23:29,321 --> 00:23:33,288
Ligalabolo? Muito interessante.
341
00:23:33,289 --> 00:23:39,229
Really, how very charming,
very charming. Very charming!
342
00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:43,321
Ach, mein Gott, Komm schon.
343
00:23:47,317 --> 00:23:49,321
Rum business altogether, Guv'nor.
344
00:23:49,322 --> 00:23:53,256
Your only son,
apart from the other one, spurned.
345
00:23:53,257 --> 00:23:55,244
A blameless vicar ruined.
346
00:23:55,245 --> 00:23:57,303
And did you think to cancel
Herr Beardhound's lesson?
347
00:23:57,304 --> 00:24:00,271
No. The poor twerp's standing
in the hall with nothing to do.
348
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:01,317
He could have a shave.
349
00:24:01,318 --> 00:24:03,280
Alas for Aunt Constance!
350
00:24:03,281 --> 00:24:06,273
She's lost her equilibrium,
her crystal and her...
351
00:24:06,274 --> 00:24:11,292
Frederick, get Beach to bring me
Mr Pingjoy? Beefhat?
352
00:24:11,293 --> 00:24:12,320
Bingham?
353
00:24:12,321 --> 00:24:15,281
Him as well. Bring 'em all!
354
00:24:20,289 --> 00:24:24,309
Hello. Herr Schnellhund!
355
00:24:36,245 --> 00:24:39,228
The 2nd Earl...
356
00:24:39,229 --> 00:24:43,267
Ah, good fellow. I can't survive
much more of your attention.
357
00:24:43,268 --> 00:24:46,289
I'm given to believe you seek
a country living
358
00:24:46,290 --> 00:24:50,260
with a tolerable salary.
Is that correct? Good.
359
00:24:50,261 --> 00:24:54,260
Well, I do happen to have a church,
that needs a parson.
360
00:24:54,261 --> 00:24:58,241
In Hampshire. That is
quite far away, Hampshire, isn't it?
361
00:24:58,242 --> 00:25:00,260
Sufficiently, my lord.
362
00:25:00,261 --> 00:25:03,271
Does that interest you, Mr Bingpox?
Lord Emsworth...
363
00:25:03,272 --> 00:25:06,281
No, my dear fellow Please don't
approach me! I beg of you.
364
00:25:06,282 --> 00:25:10,268
Darling, darling.
365
00:25:10,269 --> 00:25:12,240
Steady.
366
00:25:12,241 --> 00:25:15,265
Mr Bingham salutes the approach
of Miss Gertrude, my lord.
367
00:25:15,266 --> 00:25:17,252
Ah, right you are.
368
00:25:17,253 --> 00:25:18,277
Call the police!
369
00:25:21,233 --> 00:25:24,261
Oh, Clarence, I have been such
a fool. You were right.
370
00:25:24,262 --> 00:25:26,248
Was I? What about?
371
00:25:26,249 --> 00:25:29,251
That frightful little German
with the preposterous beard.
372
00:25:29,252 --> 00:25:30,265
What, that one?
373
00:25:30,266 --> 00:25:33,268
Yes. That one.
374
00:25:33,269 --> 00:25:36,283
What have you been up to,
you odious little fraud?
375
00:25:36,284 --> 00:25:40,257
I have been smoking ein cigarette
vile I attend Lord Emsvurt.
376
00:25:40,258 --> 00:25:43,240
You liar!
But it is so.
377
00:25:43,241 --> 00:25:46,256
And that nasty little beard?
378
00:25:46,257 --> 00:25:49,240
Is that so? I think not.
379
00:25:49,241 --> 00:25:51,304
Impostor!
380
00:25:51,305 --> 00:25:55,305
Where is the second earl? Is he in
these ridiculous little trousers?
381
00:25:55,306 --> 00:25:57,256
Shall we look?
382
00:25:57,257 --> 00:25:59,292
This is all most unusual.
383
00:25:59,293 --> 00:26:01,296
Your name's not Schnellhund.
384
00:26:01,297 --> 00:26:06,300
Nobody in real life is called
Schnellhund. You're Bingham!
385
00:26:06,301 --> 00:26:09,312
Um, no. I'm Bingham.
386
00:26:09,313 --> 00:26:12,229
As it were.
387
00:26:20,293 --> 00:26:25,237
I am going. I am going...
388
00:26:37,265 --> 00:26:39,288
So that's all sorted then.
389
00:26:39,289 --> 00:26:41,307
I put it to Herr Smelly-Hun
that he wouldn't want it
390
00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:44,283
going about that he's the kind
of man who allows hysterical women
391
00:26:44,284 --> 00:26:48,321
to go yanking his beard, and he very
sportingly settled for 50 quid.
392
00:26:48,322 --> 00:26:50,260
I said you'd send a cheque.
393
00:26:50,261 --> 00:26:54,263
Now. Here's the really funny
thing about all this, Aunt Connie.
394
00:26:54,264 --> 00:26:57,289
You've been banging on at me
to marry the Princesa -
395
00:26:57,290 --> 00:26:59,300
look, here she is,
396
00:26:59,301 --> 00:27:03,248
and guess what? I already have!
397
00:27:03,249 --> 00:27:07,277
Ha! How's that for a Chinaman
on a springy wicket?
398
00:27:14,289 --> 00:27:16,248
Bingham. Oh, Lord.
399
00:27:16,249 --> 00:27:20,301
Ask the princess if she can confirm
this extraordinary suggestion?
400
00:27:22,301 --> 00:27:26,273
Slinkibiffydoo.
Crancrinkum-crankum agumbo?
401
00:27:28,301 --> 00:27:34,284
..OW! Strewth, mind my bleedin'
foot, you clumsy great lump!
402
00:27:34,285 --> 00:27:37,232
She speaks English rather well.
403
00:27:37,233 --> 00:27:40,260
Crying out loud, you're all mad.
404
00:27:40,261 --> 00:27:42,285
My sweet, you speak of family.
405
00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:45,312
We're not family,
you soft-chinned twit.
406
00:27:45,313 --> 00:27:47,259
You got plastered in the club
407
00:27:47,260 --> 00:27:49,283
and turned up at my flat
with a feather in your...
408
00:27:49,284 --> 00:27:50,287
Yes, I remember that.
409
00:27:50,288 --> 00:27:54,239
And you were all kissy-kissy
and spouting bloomin' poetry at me
410
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,235
and I thought I'd have
a little laugh.
411
00:27:56,236 --> 00:27:58,285
Tell you we was hitched.
Well, ha bloomin' ha.
412
00:27:58,286 --> 00:28:03,260
How do you like your continental
la-di-da now, Mrs Muck?
413
00:28:03,261 --> 00:28:05,325
Save your breath, Bonzo, I'm off.
414
00:28:11,305 --> 00:28:12,324
Oh, nuts.
415
00:28:12,325 --> 00:28:14,293
From Brazil, madam.
416
00:28:19,297 --> 00:28:21,324
Sorry!
417
00:28:21,325 --> 00:28:26,261
In English, you see, it might have
gone something like this.
418
00:28:29,677 --> 00:28:34,612
One, two three, one two three...
419
00:28:35,173 --> 00:28:36,225
Ouch!
420
00:28:39,088 --> 00:28:46,741
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