Original subtitles

[♪ Saint B. & The Feeling: "Shine a Light"]

♪ Wind me up, watch me go ♪

♪ I'll treat the room like a playground...

This is not a bad view to wake up to.

Yeah? You should see mine.

God, I'm so glad our schedules finally lined up.

Me, too. This was fun.

Well, who says the fun needs to stop?

- Is this okay? - Yeah.

Oh...

♪ Nobody do what I do...

It's good. Mm, it's so good.

♪ Now, baby ♪

♪ And they go one, two, three...

Actually, do you mind just giving me a minute?

Yeah.

♪ Ooh ♪

Don't move.

♪ Oh ♪

♪ One, two, three, shine a light on me ♪♪

[sighs]

[sighs]

♪ ♪

You have a fucking kid?!

Wait, wait, hold on.

Sol, I can explain.

We've been dating for more than a month.

Why wouldn't you tell me something like this?

It's a very complicated situation.

- I was trying to figure out... - I need time to process this.

Okay, please, please, please, just don't go right now.

- Come on, let's... - Happy Valentine's Day.

Fuck.

♪ ♪

- [♪ The Oasis: "Come On Home"] - ♪ Have mercy ♪

♪ Have mercy on me, now ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ You been gone ♪

♪ Girl, you been gone too long ♪

♪ And I want you ♪

- [knock on door] - ♪ To come on ♪

♪ Come on home, little girl ♪

- ♪ You know I ♪♪ - [pounding on door]

[sighs]

[both] Happy Valentine's Day!

- Hi. - Just gonna walk right in.

Mm-hmm.

Um, what are y'all doing here?

Andres and I have been talking about swinging for a while,

and now we decided today is the day.

Uh, sad part is, I think she's only half kidding.

It's kinda dark in here, huh?

- I like it like that. - Mm.

We've been calling, we've been texting, no answer,

- so we thought we'd come by. - Yeah, what are the updates?

Here, try some pudín de pan.

No, I'm, I-I want to stay away...

Try the pudín de pan or I'm gonna stuff it in your mouth.

All right.

- Damn, that's good! - Ah! I know it is.

I made it.

So... do you have any Valentine's Day plans?

Yeah. That's it right there.

- Uh, no. - Mm-mm.

It isn't. You're coming with us.

Don't you want to be alone with your beautiful girlfriend

on Valentine's Day?

Ooh, okay, Santi, I see you.

Look, I know what y'all are trying to do, all right.

Just let me finish the chair.

Ay, por favor, ven con nosotros y rompe

la monotonía de ver la cara de este hombre todo el tiempo.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You know I don't like it when you two do

your Spanish thing.

I heard "hombre," and I'm pretty sure you mean me.

Oh...

Come out with us. It'll be fun.

Y'all not gonna leave, are you?

- [both] Uh-uh. - Okay.

Okay, all right, I'll join.

But under one condition: I get to choose where we go.

Ooh, I like a man who leads.

Okay, I'm starting to not like this joke.

[Annie laughs]

[Henry] Yeah, all right.

Whew.

- Smells great. - So, for my valentine,

- I have a special Filipino breakfast. - Ah.

It's fried rice with tocino and longanisa,

topped with a fried egg, made with love.

Amazing.

So I thought later this afternoon

- we can go for a hike. - Hiking.

Yes, I definitely didn't lie about that on our first date

- in order to seem chill. - [Henry laughs]

It'll be fun, I promise.

I, um... I normally spend Valentine's evening

at the restaurant.

My parents kind of make it this big thing.

You know, they make it look like a Hallmark card

threw up inside of it.

Chocolate-dipped churros. All of the single tías

get drunk and compliment me on my skin.

It's amazing.

Both my skin and the night.

You want to spend Valentine's Day

with your family?

Well, I mean, when you say it like that,

it sounds kind of weird.

I do have to admit,

sometimes it feels like I'm not only dating you

but your entire family as well.

It-It's not a bad thing.

I love your family. They're freaking adorable.

You know what?

Let's do your thing. Hiking, dinner, drinks.

It sounds great.

Minus the hiking,

but I'll make it work.

[both chuckle]

You're gonna bust out the crop top

and combat boots, aren't you?

Yeah, I am.

♪ ♪

Hmm.

[sighs]

Hey.

Hey... Wow.

What are you wearing?

Oh, you like it?

It's my new running outfit.

I heard you have to dress for the person that you want to be,

and for me that is a person who buys a running outfit

and actually runs in it.

[chuckles] Well, you look really nice.

Thank you.

I thought I would treat myself

to a little Valentine's gift.

Aw, shit.

I-I was gonna make you some pancakes for breakfast.

You know what, stop.

We never do anything today anyway, it's fine.

Oh, I know what we can do.

- I can finally go to that running club with you today. - Oh...

- Huh? - That is so sweet.

But you've got better things to do.

And besides, I'm still so slow that you'll probably get bored.

- You sure? - Yeah.

Okay, well, then, uh...

I'll see you at the restaurant later?

Okay.

Bye.

[Jorge] It should be illegal

to invite someone to a fitness class.

I mean, what kind of sicko wants to pay

to watch me sweat, grunt and fart?

Wait, you've been farting?

No.

You didn't have to come with me.

I would have been fine by myself.

Would you have, though? It is Valentine's Day.

And your point?

Well, my point is, wasn't this the weekend

that you thought Michael was going to propose?

But instead you are totally alone and doing yoga

with your gay, gassy brother.

I am fine. Like really, actually fine.

There's no need to worry about me.

In fact, I am heading to wine country solo.

Oh, that's great.

Single gal doing single-gal things.

I love that for you.

I love that for me more.

Wait. Didn't you and Michael have plans

to go to wine country at some point? [gasps]

Oh, my God.

Are you seriously using the reservations

that you two booked?

Okay, in my defense, I tried to cancel.

But we'd be charged either way, so I thought, screw it.

Why not?

And honestly, I'm really excited

to enjoy Valentine's Day for myself for once.

I don't have to do bullshit girlfriend stuff.

No heavy makeup or Spanx or tight dresses.

Just me, myself and I.

Finally a threesome I can get behind.

Okay, I get it. You're fine.

You, on the other hand, don't seem fine.

[grunts]

Fucking hell, I'm not fine.

- Shh! - Oh, shh! Shh! Shh!

Okay, my valentine, are you ready?

Lista, mi amor.

Okay.

- You look fabulous. - You look beautiful.

- Hi. - Yo.

[indistinct chatter on TV]

I'm sorry, are you having pasta for breakfast?

Yeah, it's called carbo-loading.

Well, you've been doing a lot of it lately.

- I mean, does the loading ever end? - Nope.

Not for me. I've got one of those

rainbow spinning wheels of death

mocking me with all its colors and endless looping,

reminding me of life's impermanence

but also its ceaseless suffering.

Okay.

[groans]

[sighs]

- You wearing workout clothes? - Yeah.

Yoga with Lil.

I mean, the things I do for that girl, it's insane.

Yeah? How is she?

I mean, I hope she's okay. Not like a level of okay

that's more than normal. I guess...

you know, I hope she's fine.

Well, I'm just a little worried about her, to be honest.

I mean, she's going to the winery

that her and Michael were supposed to go to,

and she says that she's okay,

but she's always been really good at covering.

I just wish that someone was gonna be with her.

Like anyone.

I hate that she's gonna be all alone.

[sighs sharply] Anyway,

you carbo-loaded all over your shirt.

Oop.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

[sighs]

Happy Valentine's Day to me!

[man] Shut the fuck up!

[phone chimes]

[camera clicks]

[both panting]

I thought this would have gotten easier by now.

I think we've somehow defied the laws of physiology

- and gotten worse. - I know.

I feel like I'm letting down my new running outfit.

Oh, no. You look amazing.

Ah, the speed walkers are passing us again.

Oh, man.

Hi, Crystal. Hey, Pearl.

Ah, in their defense, we're doing a lot more talking

- than we are running. - At this rate,

we'd probably burn more calories chewing food.

Oh, like a big, doughy croissant.

I bet I could burn 50 cals just in jaw action alone.

Should we put that theory to the test?

Sure. You got a croissant on you?

Eh, do you trust me?

- Kinda. - Come on.

[chuckles]

[knock on door]

Hi. Huh.

Somehow you've decided on clothes

even less appropriate for hiking

than a crop top and combat boots. Imagine that.

Yeah, so I know that I agreed to the hike

- and the dinner and the drinks. - Yes, you did agree

- to those things. - Okay.

But I was thinking, what if we went to wine country instead?

Wait. Really?

Yeah. Yeah.

Me and you and wine and rolling hills

and straight couples bored and unhappy with their

heteronormativity to gawk at.

I mean, what could be more fun than that?

[sighs]

Wh-Where is this coming from?

What? Nowhere.

No, I mean, I-I just thought that it would be fun

to get out of the city.

Wow.

From wanting to spend Valentine's Day

with his entire extended family

to planning a solo excursion amidst a vineyard.

Who is this upgraded version of my boyfriend? Mmm.

- Do I get to keep him? - Yes, you do.

- Mmm. - [laughs]

Uh, let me, uh, change really quick into something

a little more appropriate.

- Yeah. - Give me a sec.

[chuckles]

Right.

[phone chimes]

[clears throat]

♪ ♪

[speaking indistinctly]

♪ ♪

I think I like these.

Mm-hmm.

We are going to look so good for our men tonight.

They're not gonna know what hit 'em.

You know, Sol, me and your abuelo used to

go on double dates all the time

with the various men who courted your mom.

Mm-hmm. She was such a beauty, just like you are.

Well, she was taken from us

way too soon.

I miss her, too.

[sighs]

So, about dinner.

I'm not totally sure Miles will be joining us tonight.

- Pero why not? - Abuelita, he has a kid.

Well, I think that's wonderful news.

That means I could become a great-grandmother

even sooner than I had hoped.

No, he has a kid he didn't tell me about.

Why would he keep something like that from me?

Is he ashamed of me?

Mi amor, how could he be?

I don't know how I feel about dating someone with kids.

I'm not sure I want kids in my life, to be honest.

Really?

I think you would make an amazing parent.

Any kid would be lucky to have you in their life.

I don't know. It's complicated.

It may make more sense to just end it.

Let me meet the man first, at least. Okay?

Give him a chance to explain himself.

You never know, Sol.

Besides, I was expecting him

to pay for our meal.

Abuelita, we're eating at our family's restaurant.

We never pay.

Even better.

Let the gringo pay for what he shouldn't have to.

[indistinct chatter]

- Hi. Can I get a table, please? - Great.

Our Valentine's Day special is $75 for two.

Is your partner already seated?

Oh, no. I'm actually here solo.

I'm riding solo. Like the song? Ha, ha.

Oh, well, in that case, it's our normal fee

of $50 per person.

That... makes total sense.

A 50% markup for being alone.

Because the greatest sin one could commit these days

is being single.

[Santiago] Okay, so what you're telling me is that

because I'm without a companion, I'm gonna be taxed?

See? He gets it.

Hey...

French 75. Remember?

New Year's Eve, your fist, someone else's face.

Right. In my fist's defense,

that guy did have a really punchable face.

So, are you here by yourself, too?

Uh, no, I'm actually third-wheeling.

Although I kind of regret it now.

- The markup here is criminal. - Criminal.

Oh, uh, Annie, Andres, uh, this is...

Lily Diaz. Nice to meet you.

Okay, Latina. Dominicana.

- Mexicana. - Cubano.

- I'm just Black, y'all. - [laughter]

He defended my brother's gay honor on New Year's Eve.

I'm sorry, I-I didn't catch your name.

- Santiago. - Santiago.

Nice to meet you.

Are you here alone?

If so, you should join us.

It is rare that we get to meet any of Santiago's friends.

He actually doesn't have any.

It would require him to first be friendly.

[chuckles nervously]

- Really? - [laughs]

I mean, it would be cheaper.

I do love a good deal.

[Annie] Great. It's settled, then.

[Lily] [chuckles] Okay.

[Annie] Yay.

[Beatriz laughs]

Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

- You know, I usually hate Valentine's Day. - Hmm.

I try to tell myself I won't care,

and then when it comes around, I inevitably do care,

and then I hate myself even more for caring.

[both laugh]

But, uh, I got to say my Valentine's Day is

pretty good so far.

[chuckles]

You have any plans later?

Uh, no.

Just, um, working at my family's restaurant,

like always.

[chuckles]

Happy V-Day to me.

How about you? Um, no valentine?

Oh, uh, actually, since you're asking,

um, yes, there is someone.

I, um, I've had a crush on them for a while,

but I... I haven't had the courage to

do anything about it.

Her name...

...is Linda.

Oh. Oh, oh.

That's, uh, great.

Yeah. I was gonna ask you, actually...

uh, any advice?

I'm thinking of making

my feelings clear to her tonight.

Well, um...

you, you can't go wrong with a bouquet.

[chuckles] I know they're kind of cliché,

- but roses still get me. - Yeah, roses.

Simple. I like it.

Mm.

- Thanks, Beatriz. - Sure. [chuckles]

- Cheers. - Of course.

[both exhale]

[Lily chuckles]

Okay, all right, ready?

- Mm-hmm. - Okay.

- Blackberry... - Okay.

- Okay. - Mm-hmm.

...cacao and...

dried herbs?

He is so annoying.

All this talk about food is making me hungry.

Which is the worst thing to be at a winery

because all they have here is finger foods and cornichons,

- when all I really want is a burger. - Mmm.

Right? I swear, the best meal in Portland

after a night out is Burgerville on MLK.

I mean, to hell with all these foodie restaurants

and their truffle cheese and Impossible meat.

They had grass-fed before it was cool to do grass-fed.

What, do I have tannins in my teeth or something?

Um, Santiago here is also obsessed with Burgerville

- in a very, very annoying way. - [laughs]

- Really? - Yeah.

I'm just saying, two hamburgers and waffle fries?

Sorry, sorry, I think you mean two hamburgers

and shoestring fries.

I-I got to disagree.

So, Lily, not to pry,

but what's someone as charming and lovely as you

doing up here alone on Valentine's Day?

I had plans to come up here with my ex,

- but we broke up. - Oh.

And I tried to cancel the hotel reservations,

but there was a huge fee, so I thought,

"You know what, let's do this solo."

- Mm-hmm. - Why'd you break up?

Dude, you can't just ask that.

Oh, please. You wanted to know.

Yeah, but I would've done it better.

It's-it's all good, um...

but after three years it just never felt...

- magical. - Mm.

- [chuckles] - Yeah.

Oh, you-you weren't joking.

No. Why would I be joking?

I just thought the girl

who thinks Valentine's Day is criminal

wouldn't possibly think love is magical.

I thought the markup was criminal, not the day.

- Oh. - [Annie clears throat]

- Well, I-I think it's all bullshit. - Okay.

[Annie laughs nervously, clears throat]

Uh, anyone want to take a walk in the vineyard?

- This place is so cute. - [alert chimes]

Yeah, it is.

Hey, isn't that Lil?

[Jorge] What? No.

No, it's definitely, um, not Lil. Why would Lil be here?

- Hey. Hey, Lil! - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't!

[Jorge hissing]

God!

Excuse us.

Jorge.

Yes?

Why are we here?

Henry, because the wine is delicious.

Tell me we aren't stalking your sister

on Valentine's Day.

I-I could tell you that... but I'd be lying.

Seriously?

Look, I don't know what to tell you.

You're dating my whole family.

- [clears throat] Hi. - Hi.

A table for two, please.

Do you guys serve wine here?

I'm kidding, 'cause we're at... we're at a vineyard. It's...

You really think all this is bullshit?

[sighs] I just don't think the narrative around it

is particularly honest.

I mean, love can be great, sure,

but it can also be very hard.

But it's definitely not magic.

I mean, look around.

I mean, look at these couples in their little cocoons,

thinking that they're the only people in the world,

when, in fact, they're all doing the same exact thing.

They're having the same fights.

They're making the same apologies.

Thinking that they're special

and that their relationship is different,

but really, they just, you know, bought into a fantasy.

Wait. You think love is a fantasy.

You don't?

I think it's the one true thing in this world.

Wow. That's extremely naive, no offense.

[laughs] Why do people say "No offense" when everyone knows

if you say "No offense," you are being offensive?

You should just say, "Offense!"

So, yes, I am offended that you think I'm naive,

but at least I'm not a complete and total killjoy, no offense.

[laughs] I'm gonna ignore your top-shelf pettiness for a sec.

I'm not the one living my life like it's some fairy tale.

I hate to break it to you, princess,

but no knight in shining armor's

gonna come in and sweep you off your feet

and fix all your problems. Only you can do that.

You really think you're so original, hmm?

The first misanthrope to ever walk the earth.

- Here we go. - Well, news flash, buddy.

Other people have done it before you,

but with much more originality.

Your whole shtick is not new or interesting.

It's boring and sad.

Right. Since I'm so boring, what the hell

- are we doing on this walk? - You know what?

That's a good question.

I came out here to give myself the self-love I deserve,

not to get lectured by some sour stranger.

[scoffs]

I'm going back to my hotel room.

Great! That's perfect!

Actually, enjoy your Julia Roberts movies and white wine.

I prefer Reese and rosé! And thank you. I will!

Have fun.

You know, it's actually too bad, because you know what I thought

when I saw you earlier?

What?

Magic.

Damn it.

Look, I'm so, so sorry

that I brought you here under false pretenses.

I'm just really worried about Lil.

I mean, she has this way of keeping things to herself,

especially when she's in more pain than she lets on.

And I thought, in this way, if she needs me,

I'm five minutes away rather than an hour.

Look, do I love that you lied to me? No.

Am I okay that I'm drinking a nice-ass glass of bubbly

amid the mountains?

Yes. I'm mildly troubled

by everything you did to get me here,

but we're here, so let's make the most of it.

I'm really sorry, Henry.

You know, if anything,

I'm mad you didn't give me a heads-up.

I live for secret missions.

I have several wigs.

- I crush at escape rooms. - [laughs]

This is miles better

than hitting up some hipster restaurant

and feasting on yet another broccolini dish.

Oh. I mean, we do have giant chess here to play, so...

Oh. Are we gonna play giant chess?

Oh, God, no, but I'm glad that it's here. [laughs]

Me, too.

Wait. There's Lily.

- Really? - Yeah, she's on the move, and she looks upset.

We got to go now.

But my chilled red, though, so...

Mm. Knock that shit back, baby.

- We got to go. Ándale. - Okay. Mm-hmm.

[coughs]

- I'm coming. - Shh.

- Hurry. - God.

[gentle guitar music plays]

[sighs]

- Mi amor. - Mm.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day.

- Mmm. - Hmm.

Hmm.

And don't forget.

I'm also just a girl...

standing in front of a boy...

asking him to love her.

Fucking Santiago.

[phone chimes]

[knocking]

What are you doing here?

Oh. Uh, I just,

you know, thought that it was Valentine's Day, and you know,

you're here all alone, and...

Didn't you just say that you wanted to hang out?

I did, but I didn't realize that meant

you'd magically appear out of thin air.

Oh, well, uh... [laughs]

Ta-da! [chuckles]

Are those flowers for me?

Yes. Yes, in fact, they are for you.

Lilies for Lily.

[laughs softly] That's... nice.

[clears throat]

You hate lilies, don't you?

Kind of. It's the name thing, but it's okay.

They're pretty.

Sorry. Happy Valentine's Day. I'm just gonna...

- [clears throat] - It's okay. You can come in.

But no funny business.

Of course. Of course.

Not a funny bone in this body. [laughs]

♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

Hello. Marta.

Pleased to meet you, Miles.

- Luis. - Miles.

It's a pleasure to meet you both.

I've heard so much about you.

Hi.

Hello.

- You look gorgeous. - I know.

Well, isn't this nice?

[Marta] Yes, it is.

How about a round of drinks?

- [line ringing] - [Jorge sighs]

Hey, this is Lil. Leave a message.

She's not answering.

I can't believe we lost her.

What if she fell into the tub?

What if... what if she ended it all

while watching Pretty Woman? Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! What a horrible way to go.

Okay, let's take a deep breath.

[breathes deeply]

Okay. We just need to figure out

what room she's in, and check in on her.

Well, they're never gonna divulge

that information at reception.

Oh, but Jorge, you're forgetting one thing.

The Latino connection you're always talking about.

Wow. You're right. I taught you well.

You know, you really are good at this whole spy thing.

Ah, would be even better with my Zac Efron wig.

What? I'm sorry. Pause.

You have a... you have a Zac Efron wig?

Why is this the first time that I'm hearing about this?

Also, is it like High School Musical Zac Efron,

or, like, what is it? I'm sorry.

Uh, we-we have to put a pin in that.

- Excuse me, señorita? - Hmm?

Yo soy Latino.

I think my sister is muerta.

- [gasps, mumbles] - I know.

That works, too.

[indistinct chatter]

[gentle guitar music plays]

I hear you have a child.

Uh... yeah, I do.

Well, tell me about them. What are they like?

How old are they? Where do they go to school?

I want to know everything.

Me, too, since as of this morning, I knew nothing.

Yeah, leave nothing out.

Well, uh, their name's Charlie, they're 13,

and, uh, they're the coolest kid I know.

They go to a public school in our neighborhood,

and before that, they went to a Catholic private school,

but I actually, uh, pulled them out.

Oh, yeah? Why?

Well, Charlie's genderqueer.

Or at least gender expansive.

And the, uh, Catholic school...

They didn't handle it well.

Oh. I'm so sorry.

Yeah, that's actually what, uh, really made me

separate myself from the Church.

Any religion that doesn't accept my kid for who they are...

It's not a religion I want to get on board with.

Yeah. We went through a similar thing with Sol.

There was even a point when we thought about walking away.

But you know what, Miles?

I finally told them,

people have taken so much away from my Sol,

but the one thing they cannot take away is God,

because God is for everyone.

Caso cerrado.

Oh.

- I'll drink to that. - Me, too.

Hear, hear. Salud.

- [both laughing] - [TV playing quietly]

Hey.

I'm glad you're here.

I'm glad I'm here, too.

[TV playing quietly]

You're not too shabby of a guy, Nick.

You know that?

There's a lot of big-time assholes out there.

But you're a good one.

You're a good one too, Lil.

[door opening]

...myself to death. What?

- What... is this? - Whoa.

What are you doing here?!

What are we doing here? What the hell is he doing here?

- Well, it's-it's not what it looks like. - Are you sure?

'Cause it looks like

you're having a secret affair with Nick!

- Exhibit A. See? Told you. - No. No.

- No! No! God! - No. Ah!

And to think that I was worried about you.

Hey, I was worried about her, as well.

- That's why I came out here. - Well, you definitely chose

an interesting way to console her, Nick.

Uh, this is a pretty textbook way to console someone.

- Don't do that. - Okay, okay. You're right.

I was having a secret affair with Nick.

And we did keep it from you

because we really thought you'd overreact.

I think I'm gonna throw up.

But it's over now because it meant nothing.

Well... it didn't mean nothing.

Yes, it did!

Meant something to me.

- Oh. - Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Okay, yeah, all right.

Um, we're gonna... we're gonna let you guys talk.

Uh, we'll be at the bar.

I'm still not happy about this, Lil, but I'm...

I'm glad that you're alive. Okay.

I'm rooting for you.

[sighs]

[door closes]

[lively guitar music plays]

Here you are.

Excuse me. Is Beatriz around?

- Can I help you? - Yeah.

I have a delivery for her.

From who, may I ask?

Leo.

Hi, Beatriz.

What are you doing here?

Well, I...

bought these for you... Linda.

Because it means "beautiful" in Spanish, right?

I'm sorry, but who are you again?

I'm Leo.

I'm in a running club with Beatriz.

And you are?

I'm Jorge.

I'm Linda's husband.

I'm sorry, Nick.

I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression.

Today was a lot, and I was feeling pretty lonely,

and you showing up felt...

Well...

I guess it kind of felt like a fix.

Which I'm realizing is something I do,

and it isn't fair to you.

Look, I have never felt this way about someone before.

Nick, I like you so much,

but I'm not in love with you.

[sighs]

I'm really sorry.

Me, too.

And look, if you're gonna ask if we can still be friends,

just... just don't.

'Cause of course...

of course the answer is "yes,"

we will still be friends.

We will always be friends, just...

I just can't hear you say that right now.

Hey, if it helps at all,

you really are the best sex I've ever had.

Yeah, that actually does.

♪ ♪

[sizzling]

You put this on the wrong table.

Supposed to be table five.

- Sorry. - Are you?

Sorry? 'Cause you aren't acting like it.

I am, Jorge, seriously.

If you hadn't made a mistake and gotten it right the first place,

you wouldn't have anything to be sorry for, would you?

Oye, I don't know what the hell's going on with you guys,

but you're ruining the vibe in here.

Go outside and figure your shit out.

Go!

[crickets chirping]

I am so, so sorry, Jorge.

I don't even know what happened.

I got caught up in it.

He assumed that I wasn't married,

and I didn't correct him.

I don't even know why.

But nothing happened, I swear.

Okay.

Then let me see your phone.

Seriously?

Well, if nothing happened,

then let me see your goddamn phone.

But you've been texting him constantly?

For weeks?

And all this flirting?

I know. I'm so sorry.

What can I do to make this right?

I can't even look at you right now.

Please. Jorge, I am so sorry.

Did you have sex with him?

No, I swear.

Did you want to?

And if I hadn't found out tonight, would you have done it?

No. No, I wouldn't have.

I don't believe you.

Jor... Jorge?

I just can't believe that they lied to me.

Yeah, getting lied to.

Doesn't feel great, does it?

Mm-mm. No, it doesn't.

Oh.

Okay, I see what you did there,

but this is different, right?

- No, it isn't. - Okay, look, it's beautiful

how close you and your family are,

but also, you guys have some unhealthy dynamics.

All right. I mean, I know that our codependency game is strong,

but it's just because we're looking out for one another.

I get that's what you're trying to do,

but you also have to let people feel their own shit.

And you're right.

And I'm sorry for the way that tonight turned out.

Uh... [snorts, laughs]

Are you kidding?

I had a blast.

I mean, babe, any time I'm with you, I have a blast.

Okay, and honestly, I get why you're so obsessed

with your family. They got a good thing going on.

- Mm. - And I can't wait

to one day become part

- of that thing. - [laughs]

- Hi. - Hi.

Uh, I'm sorry I boned your sister.

It's okay.

Bring it in.

Mmm.

[sighs]

Yeah, I'm really gonna miss her.

I mean, the things that we did to each other's bodies just...

No, that's okay. That's okay.

She tasted like pineapples. I couldn't get enough.

I don't know.

I don't know that I need to hear that, but...

- Yeah. - I don't...

You know what?

- We're being supportive today. - [Henry sighs]

- [laughter] - [♪ Julio Iglesias: "Júrame"]

Oh, ay-ay-ay. I adore this music.

- Shall we? - Yeah.

But there's no dance floor, Luis.

When I'm with you, mi amor, there's always a dance floor.

[Marta gasps, laughs]

[Luis laughs]

Oye, Paco, sube la musica.

♪ Dicen que es mentira que te quiero ♪

♪ Porque nunca me habian visto enamorado ♪

Shall we?

♪ Yo te juro que yo mismo no comprendo ♪

♪ El porque me fascina tu mirada...

Thank you for sharing that about Charlie.

Why didn't you tell me about any of this sooner?

I didn't want you to think I was using you in any way

to get close to my kid or understand them.

I really wanted

to make sure that you knew I liked you for you.

Okay.

But I should have told you.

It was not fair of me.

I made a mistake, and I'm sorry.

Guess I was worried I was gonna scare you away.

Oh, baby, it takes a lot more than that to scare me.

[laughs]

Maybe one day in the future, Charlie and I can meet.

I'd like that.

♪ Besame ♪

♪ Con un beso enamorado ♪

♪ Como nadie me ha besado desde el día en que nací ♪

♪ Quiereme ♪

♪ Quiereme hasta la locura...

Enjoy the room. It's paid for.

- I don't feel like being here. - Mwah.

- Love you. - Well, I love you.

- Bye. - Bye.

I told you wine country would be fun.

[laughs]

♪ ♪

Oh, my God. Amazing thread count.

Right? [laughs]

♪ ♪

[door bell jingles]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

I think you were right.

About the fries.

Mm.

Thank you.

You may have been right about some other things, also.

Yeah.

You might have been, too.

You know what this is?

Yeah.

Magic.

I was gonna say a coincidence, but...

I like your thing better.

- Mmm. - [both laugh]

[♪ Sarah Barrios: "IH8EVERY1"]

♪ I hate everyone but you ♪

♪ And it's got me so confused ♪

♪ Can't stand Cinderella ♪

♪ But fairy tales must come true ♪

♪ 'Cause I hate everyone ♪

- ♪ But you, you, you ♪ - ♪ Hey ♪

♪ I don't really like most people ♪

♪ 'Cause they make me roll my eyes ♪

♪ It don't take a lot for me ♪

♪ To leave a room without goodbyes ♪

♪ But somethin' 'bout the way ♪

♪ I don't wanna die when I'm with you ♪

♪ I guess I wouldn't be upset ♪

♪ If you stuck around for good ♪

♪ Oh, I, I hate everyone but you ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah ♪

♪ And it's got me so confused ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah ♪

♪ Can't stand Cinderella ♪

♪ But fairy tales must come true ♪

♪ 'Cause I hate everyone ♪

- ♪ But you, you, you ♪ - ♪ Hey ♪

♪ I'm not usually one for a party ♪

♪ And I'd rather stay at home ♪

♪ But if you're gonna be there ♪

♪ I don't know, well, maybe I'll just go ♪

♪ Somethin' 'bout the way ♪

♪ I kinda like when you're around ♪

♪ There's somethin' 'bout the way I don't feel ♪

♪ Like I'm gonna drown ♪

♪ Oh, I, I hate everyone but you ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah ♪

♪ And it's got me so confused ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah ♪

♪ Can't stand Cinderella, but fairy tales must come true ♪

♪ 'Cause I hate everyone but you, you, you ♪

♪ Oh! ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah ♪

♪ I hate everyone but you ♪♪

[kids] GloNation! Yay!