Original subtitles

SHARON CARTER'S OFFICE. THIS IS MONEYPENNY.

ONE MOMENT. I'LL, UH, I'LL SEE IF SHE'S IN.

ED WALSH, GREENPEACE. SOUNDS ANGRY.

TELL HIM I'M OUT HAVING A SEAL SANDWICH.

ED? SHE'LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK.

THANK YOU, MONEYPENNY.

BERG.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE SERIOUS IN MY WHOLE LIFE, ASHLEY.

WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

I JUST SAW THE SCHEDULE AT THE HOSPITAL.

WHY DID YOU SWITCH TO THE NIGHT SHIFT?

'CAUSE YOU'RE ON THE NIGHT SHIFT, BUTTERCUP.

AND I SWITCHED INTO THE NIGHT SHIFT

TO GET AWAY FROM YOU IN THE DAY SHIFT.

YOU'VE GOTTA STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND.

ME? WHAT ABOUT YOU?

ANTONIO'S, TOMASO'S, PIZZA SHACK, GALUCCI'S.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THERE'S 40 PIZZA JOINTS NEAR YOUR HOUSE,

AND YET EVERY DAY YOU TAKE 3 BUSES

TO COME HERE AND TELL ME

HOW MUCH YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME.

FIRST OF ALL, IT'S ONE BUS, BERG, OK?

AND SECOND OF ALL,

I WOULD GLADLY FOLLOW YOU

TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH TO TELL YOU

JUST HOW MUCH I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU.

AM I BEING PERSISTENT OR STUPID?

YOU'RE BEING PERSISTENTLY STUPID.

Berg: HEY, HOW WAS THE INTERVIEW?

GOOD.

FOR THOSE OF YOU SCORING AT HOME,

I AM NOW 0 FOR 5.

YOU KNOW, ARCHITECTS CAN BE SO UPTIGHT.

REALLY?

WHAT'D YOU DO THIS TIME, PETE?

THIS TIME IT WAS NOT MY FAULT.

I MEAN, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW

THAT I WAS STICKING MY GUM UNDERNEATH A LOUIS XIV CHAIR?

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU

THAT YOU KEEP BLOWING THESE INTERVIEWS?

I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS I JUST WANT THEM SO BADLY

THAT ONCE I GET INTO THESE GUYS' OFFICES,

I JUST TURN INTO THIS BUMBLING FOOL.

OR...

MAYBE YOU DON'T WANT IT AT ALL.

WHAT?

MAYBE YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO BE AN ARCHITECT.

YEAH, RIGHT.

LET'S FACE IT, PETE.

YOU'RE NOT BEING YOURSELF.

I MEAN, LAST WEEK, YOU TOOK A DIVOT

OUT OF AN 18th CENTURY ORIENTAL RUG.

I DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT THAT ONE.

I WANTED TO SEE MY CHIP SHOT.

MEANWHILE, I HIT THAT CHUNK OF RUG STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW.

GREAT FIRST IMPRESSION.

WHY DO FIRST IMPRESSIONS HAVE TO BE SO IMPORTANT?

I MEAN, I MAKE A GREAT FOURTH IMPRESSION.

THIS INTERVIEW THING'S

SORT OF PUTTING A MILD SNAG IN PETE'S CAREER.

YOU KEEP TELLING ME

THAT ASHLEY'S DAD IS SOME BIG ARCHITECT.

CAN'T YOU GET HIM TO GET PETE A JOB?

I'VE TRIED, BUT THERE'S JUST ONE PROBLEM.

SHE DOESN'T REALLY LIKE TALKING TO ME.

FOR PETE, I'LL PLAY MY TRUMP CARD.

WHAT?

I NEED YOU TO GET YOUR DAD

TO GIVE PETE A JOB.

I TOLD YOU, MY DAD'S FIRM IS REALLY SELECTIVE.

BESIDES, IT'S REALLY NOT SOMETHING I WOULD...

I WON'T SWITCH BACK TO THE DAY SHIFT.

DONE.

I REALLY APPRECIATE

YOU PUTTING OUR ROMANCE ON HOLD FOR THE SAKE OF MY BUDDY.

IF PETE SCREWS THIS UP, I'M HOLDING YOU RESPONSIBLE.

DO YOU THINK THAT I WOULD DO ANYTHING

TO UPSET MY FUTURE FATHER-IN-LAW?

PETE, I GOT YOU A JOB.

MR. WALKER, IT IS AN HONOR TO MEET YOU.

MY LITTLE ASHLEY HAD AN AWFUL LOT OF GOOD THINGS TO SAY ABOUT YOU.

GLAD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD.

THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY.

I REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

WOW! THAT'S QUITE A STRUCTURE.

A NEW CASINO WE'RE BUILDING IN ATLANTIC CITY.

IT HAS A BIBLICAL THEME.

YES. I SEE HOW THE RED SEA SWIMMING POOL

ACTUALLY PARTS TO ACCOMMODATE THE PEOPLE MOVER.

3 LONG YEARS OF HARD WORK.

THOUSANDS OF MAN HOURS.

HAND ME THAT CUP OF COFFEE, WOULD YOU, PETE?

THANK YOU.

SO... WHAT DO YOU THINK?

IT'S... IT'S AMAZING.

ISN'T IT?

HUH.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

JUST THAT IF YOU MOVE THE GARDEN OF EDEN KENO LOUNGE

TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE NOAH'S ARK BUFFET YOU MIGHT, UH...

YOU'D PROBABLY GET A LOT MORE FOOT TRAFFIC TO THE, UH...

WHAT'S THAT? THE SLOTS OF JERICHO.

THAT'S... THAT'S JUST A THOUGHT.

IT'S A DARN GOOD THOUGHT.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT...

I WANT YOU TO MAKE A COPY OF OUR PROJECT LIST

SO YOU CAN FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH WHAT WE'RE DOING AROUND HERE.

OH, YES, SIR.

YES, SIR.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AT MY...

CRYSTAL REPLICA OF THE EIFFEL TOWER.

IT'S PRICELESS.

WHOA! OK.

IT'S VERY LOVELY.

I'M JUST GONNA GO... COPY. VERY NICE MEETING YOU.

BAD MACHINE.

BAD.

HEY. YOU MUST BE THE NEW GUY.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BEAT ME UP AND STEAL MY LUNCH MONEY, ARE YOU?

FINALLY SOMEONE IN THIS OFFICE WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR.

HOW'D YOU EVER GET PAST THE INTERVIEW?

LISTEN, I'M PETE. UH, BRITTANY.

HI, BRITTANY.

SO, YOU HAVING A HARD TIME HERE?

OH, THIS DAMN THING IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.

WELL, LET ME HELP YOU OUT.

SEE, YOU JUST HAVE TO PRESS RIGHT HERE

AND... AND JIGGLE HERE...

AND THEN IT SHOULD JUST, UH...

POP RIGHT IN.

WELL, I GUESS IT'S JUST... PRESS AND JIGGLE.

THERE YOU GO.

THANK YOU, BRITTANY.

WELL, WE SHOULD REALLY MAKE SURE THAT IT WORKS.

OK. OK.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WELL... WELL, I... I DON'T KNOW VICTORIA'S SECRET,

BUT I KNOW YOURS.

LOCK THE DOOR, PETE.

WH-WH-WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY? RIGHT HERE?

WHY NOT?

WELL, BECAUSE I THINK

IT'S A REALLY BAD CAREER MOVE. THAT'S WHY NOT.

OH.

LET ME JUST SAY ONE THING.

WHAT?

AH, WHAT'S A CAREER?

HEY, BERG.

I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH MY FATHER.

WHATEVER PETE DID, I NO LONGER CONSIDER HIM A FRIEND.

HE SAID THAT EVERYBODY AT THE OFFICE LOVES PETE.

I CONSIDER HIM A BROTHER, ACTUALLY.

WELL, I'M GLAD IT WORKED OUT,

'CAUSE PETE'S A GREAT GUY.

SO, UH, HOW WAS YOUR FIRST SHIFT WITHOUT ME?

OH, GOD, BERG, IT WAS HORRIBLE.

REALLY?

PEOPLE WERE ACTUALLY BEING PROFESSIONAL.

OOH.

WORK WAS BEING DONE.

NO ONE EVEN HAD THE DECENCY TO FOLLOW ME AROUND

WITH A JAR OF EYEBALLS, SINGING I ONLY HAVE EYES FOR YOU.

I THINK YOU KIND OF MISSED ME.

A LITTLE.

HEY.

HEY. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAD A GOOD FIRST DAY.

HE'S BEEN SMILING LIKE THIS EVER SINCE I PICKED HIM UP.

YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE MY FIRST DAY.

YEAH. I HEARD THEY LOVE YOU AT THE OFFICE.

REALLY?

YEAH. HEARD YOU SCORED BIG TIME.

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE IN A SLUMP,

YOU BANG ONE OUT OF THE PARK.

ALL RIGHT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

WHAT ARE YOU... WHO WERE YOU TALKING TO?

WELL, ASHLEY. HER DAD CALLED HER AND TOLD HER EVERYTHING.

HER DAD CALLED AND TOLD HER

THAT I NAILED SOME GIRL IN THE COPY ROOM?

WHAT? WHAT?

UH, NEVER MIND.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

ONE MINUTE I'M LOADING THE PAPER TRAY, AND THE NEXT MINUTE I'M...

COPYING HER PANTIES.

LOOK, I WAS THE NEW GUY.

I WAS TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS.

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

LISTEN, I WENT OUT ON A LIMB FOR YOU WITH ASHLEY, PETE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE ON A MAJOR SELF-DESTRUCT.

SHARON, WOULD YOU GET OFF THIS ALREADY?

COME ON. YOU'RE JUST BEGGING TO GET FIRED.

HOW? HOW AM I BEGGING TO GET FIRED?

I'LL TELL YOU HOW.

JACK AND JILL START MESSING AROUND AT THE OFFICE.

IT'S JILL'S WORD AGAINST JACK'S.

JACK GETS FIRED.

JILL GETS HIS OFFICE, HIS DESK, AND HIS SALARY.

AND I'VE FELT HORRIBLE ABOUT IT EVER SINCE.

ALL RIGHT. SHARON, LOOK, I'M NOT JACK.

LISTEN, JACK.

YOU WERE USING YOUR SEX LIFE TO JEOPARDIZE MINE,

AND I WILL NOT HAVE IT.

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU AND ASHLEY.

YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS

BECAUSE THIS IS THE BEST FIRST DAY OF WORK STORY EVER,

AND YOU JUST WISH IT HAPPENED TO YOU.

HE'S GOT ME THERE.

MAY I SAY,

YOU HAVE A PHENOMENAL FEEL FOR THIS EQUIPMENT.

WELL, WE SHOULD TRY THE ONE UPSTAIRS.

IT'S GOT A SUPER-COLLATOR.

SO, SAME TIME TOMORROW?

OH, YEAH.

HEY. WHAT'S GOING ON, PETE?

OH, I WAS, UH, JUST THROWIN' ON A FRESH BOTTLE, MR. WALKER.

BRITTANY, YOU CAN LEARN A LOT FROM THIS GUY.

HE'S A REAL GO-GETTER.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME, DAD.

HERE YOU GO.

OH, HEY, BERG. I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU.

ISN'T IT FUN?

WELL... THE WAY I SEE IT,

YOU CAN TELL A LOT ABOUT A PERSON

BY THE COMPANY HE KEEPS, AND, UH,

IF A STABLE GUY LIKE PETE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND,

THEN MAYBE YOU'RE NOT THE NEANDERTHAL I THOUGHT.

OOGA-BOOLA.

SEE YOU LATER.

YOU WILL? YEAH.

I'M SWITCHING BACK TO THE NIGHT SHIFT.

PETE, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

HA HA!

SHE THINKS I'M STABLE.

ALL RIGHT, BERG, WE GOTTA TALK. WHAT?

YOU KNOW THE COPY GIRL FROM WORK?

DON'T TELL ME YOU GOT CAUGHT

'CAUSE ASHLEY'S GONNA KILL ME!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! IT'S NOTHIN' LIKE THAT.

GOOD. IT'S WORSE.

SHE'S THE BOSS' DAUGHTER.

WHAT?

TH-THAT... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

ASHLEY'S THE BOSS' DAUGHTER.

YES, THAT'S TRUE.

WHOA.

YOU MEAN ASHLEY LIED ABOUT HER DAD OWNING THE COMPANY?

NO...

YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING WITH ASHLEY?

NO.

YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH ASHLEY'S SISTER!

YES!

NO!

YOU GOT THE EASY SISTER!

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

WHAT AM I GONNA DO? I MEAN, IF HER DAD FINDS OUT,

I'M GONNA BE BLACKBALLED, AND IF I WANT TO BE AN ARCHITECT,

I'M GONNA HAVE TO MOVE TO ISTANBUL.

OK, LET ME THINK. LET ME THINK.

YOU GOT THE EASY SISTER!

BERG! OK, OK.

STOP HAVING SEX WITH HER.

YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THIS A FEW MORE MINUTES?

YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT.

IF YOU STOP SLEEPING WITH HER, SHE COULD GET UPSET AND TELL HER DAD.

RIGHT, RIGHT. SO I'M GONNA KEEP ON HAVING SEX WITH HER.

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU, BUDDY.

HOLD IT, COPY BOY.

IF ASHLEY FINDS OUT YOU'RE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER SISTER,

THAT CAN'T MAKE ME LOOK GOOD.

WHY IS THIS ALL ABOUT YOU ALL OF A SUDDEN?

IT'S ABOUT YOU, OK? LOOK, YOU GOTTA BREAK UP WITH HER

AND REMAIN FRIENDS.

HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED?

WHAT?

WE NEED THE ADVICE OF SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN DUMPED A LOT.

HELLO!

HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE'LL BE HERE?

WE, UH... WARM UP THE COPIER HERE EVERY DAY AT 3:17.

EEW!

EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT IT'S GONNA RUIN US BOTH...

WAY TO GO.

ALL RIGHT. HOW AM I GONNA BREAK UP WITH HER?

OK, UM...

I NEED SOME BACKGROUND INFORMATION.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HER?

OK, HER NAME IS BRITTANY,

AND I BELIEVE SHE'S ON THE WELCOMING COMMITTEE.

ANYTHING MORE? ANYTHING PERSONAL,

ASIDE FROM THE FACT THAT SHE LIKES TO RIDE COPIERS?

UH... NO.

ONCE AGAIN, PETE. VERY PROUD.

I MEAN, OK, OK, PURELY PHYSICAL.

I THINK YOU MIGHT BE OFF THE HOOK.

THIS REMINDS ME OF MY RELATIONSHIP WITH TYLER.

JUST GO IN, TELL HER IT WAS FUN,

THANKS A LOT, BUT IT'S OVER.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

IS THAT A NEW OUTFIT?

YEAH. GOT IT ON SALE.

I LIKE IT.

THANKS.

HOW'D IT GO?

BEFORE I COULD SAY ANYTHING, SHE GAVE ME THIS.

OHH!

SHARON. OK.

OK, OK, OK, OK.

UM, BEYOND THE PHYSICAL. BEYOND THE PHYSICAL.

SHE LIKES YOU.

THIS REMINDS ME OF MY RELATIONSHIP WITH TOM.

TELL HER, "WE CAN'T BE TOGETHER

BECAUSE I'LL LOSE MYSELF IN YOU."

ALL RIGHT. LOSE MYSELF. ALL RIGHT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

SAY, YOU KNOW THEY'RE GONNA SHUT OUR WATER OFF

BETWEEN 8:00 AND 5:00 TOMORROW?

OH, NO. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

THEY SENT US A NOTICE.

HMM. THANKS. I'LL FILL UP MY TUB TONIGHT.

Sharon: WHAT HAPPENED?

I TOLD HER THAT I WAS AFRAID I'D LOSE MYSELF IN HER,

AND SHE GOT MAD. SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT MEANS.

WELL... WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?

GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET TOM GET AWAY WITH THAT!

SHE'S WAITING FOR AN ANSWER.

OH, OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK!

JASON! HA HA! THE GUY FROM HAWAII, YES!

GO IN,

TELL HER, UH, YOU LIKE HER TOO MUCH,

AND YOU'RE JUST NOT IN THAT PLACE IN YOUR LIFE.

OOH! YEAH.

YEAH, I LIKE THAT. ALL RIGHT. I WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO JASON ANYWAY?

THAT WAS THE ONLY TIME I GOT DUMPED WHERE IT WASN'T TERRIBLE.

WE STAYED FRIENDS. IN FACT, HE WAS SO SWEET ABOUT IT

THAT WE JUST KEPT ON HAVING SEX FOR, LIKE...

HEY. UH, BUDDY, YOU... YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE.

NONSENSE. I CAN GO ANYWHERE I WANT. I OWN THIS BUILDING.

YOU'RE... YOU'RE... YOU'RE MR. WALKER.

SHARON... THIS IS MR. WALKER.

PLEASE BE LOCKED. PLEASE BE LOCKED.

PLEASE BE LOCKED. PLEASE... PETE!

BRITTANY!

DADDY?!

Pete: SIR?

HE DIDN'T LOCK THE DOOR.

OH, MY GOD. DADDY. IS HE OK?

WELL, HE... HE PASSED OUT, AND HE HIT HIS HEAD,

AND NOW HE HAS A MILD CONCUSSION, BUT THE DOCTORS SAY

HE'S GONNA BE JUST FINE.

OH, THANK GOD YOU WERE THERE TO HELP.

WELL...

WELL, IT WAS PRETTY TOUCH-AND-GO THERE FOR A WHILE.

OH. SO HOW DID IT HAPPEN?

HOW DID WHAT HAPPEN?

WHAT BROUGHT IT ON?

OH, IT WAS AWFUL!

WE'LL GIVE YOU TWO A MINUTE ALONE.

Ashley: OH.

OK, WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?

IF THE OLD MAN TELLS ASHLEY, I LOSE MY JOB,

AND YOU LOSE YOUR IMAGINARY GIRLFRIEND.

LOOK. LISTEN TO ME, OK?

THAT GUY TOOK A PRETTY HARD SHOT TO THE HEAD, OK?

SO THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE HE'S NOT GONNA REMEMBER ANY OF THIS.

Brittany: HE'S WAKING UP.

Walker: OHH... DADDY?

Ashley: DADDY.

ASHLEY?

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

WELL, I'M A LITTLE DIZZY. MY HEAD REALLY HURTS.

WHEW! WHEW!

WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, I REMEMBER...

OH. I REMEMBER I HAD TO MAKE SOME COPIES,

AND, UH...

THEN I DON'T REMEMBER.

Walker: OH, WAIT!

NO. THAT'S IT.

DADDY, I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE OK.

OHH... MY LITTLE ANGEL.

HAH!

OH.

DADDY.

THIS IS BERG.

HE SAVED YOUR LIFE.

THANK YOU.

DON'T THANK ME, SIR.

PETE HERE DESERVES ALL THE CREDIT.

I HAVE THE FEELING

THIS INTERNSHIP IS THE BEGINNING

OF A LONG AND PROSPEROUS FUTURE WITH MY FIRM.

LONG FUTURE?

AS IN THE REST OF MY LIFE?

I... I DON'T... OH, COME ON, COME ON, PETE.

IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL TO HAVE COLD FEET

WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO EMBARK ON SOMETHING

THAT'S GONNA CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

WELL, I MEAN, ACTUALLY, MY FEET ARE FINE.

BUT, UM...

I THINK MAYBE IT'S JUST MY PASSION FOR ARCHITECTURE

IS WHAT COOLED OFF.

NONSENSE. IF YOU WEREN'T A MAN OF PASSION, YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW.

Walker: LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, PETE.

THESE ARE THE DAYS

AND THE DECISIONS THAT DETERMINE A YOUNG MAN'S FUTURE.

I'M AFRAID YOU'RE RIGHT, SIR.

YOU BET I AM. AND THERE'S NOT A DAMN THING YOU CAN SAY

THAT'LL CONVINCE ME

THAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA TURN OUT TO BE ONE HELL OF AN ARCHITECT.

I PILED YOUR DAUGHTER ON THE COPY MACHINE.

WHAT? WHAT?

WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

HE SAID HE PILED YOUR DAUGHTER

ON THE COPY MACHINE.

YOU'RE RIGHT! YOU!

I REMEMBER NOW!

YOU'RE FIRED!

CONSIDER YOUR ARCHITECTURE CAREER OVER!

I BELIEVE I DO, SIR.

THANK YOU.

I'M HOPIN'...

THAT THIS DOESN'T REFLECT POORLY UPON ME.

CALL ME.

HERE'S TO YOU, PETE.

YOU KNOW, WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT ME, JOBLESS, DIRECTIONLESS,

AND HAPPY AS A CLAM?

WELL, PERSONALLY, I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY CLASSY

OF MY FUTURE FATHER-IN-LAW

TO HAVE YOUR STUFF BOXED AND WAITING ON THE CURB.

SEE, PETE? WHO KNOWS YOU BETTER THAN ANYBODY, HUH?

YOU WERE RIGHT. I WAS JUST SABOTAGING MYSELF

BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY WANT TO BE AN ARCHITECT.

HMM. MAYBE I WAS SABOTAGING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH ASHLEY

'CAUSE I...'CAUSE I DON'T REALLY WANT TO BE WITH HER.

REALLY? NO!

ACTUALLY, BERG, I DON'T THINK YOU BLEW IT WITH ASHLEY

AS MUCH AS YOU THINK.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, I TALKED TO HER A LITTLE BIT

AT THE HOSPITAL.

AND?

AND...

SHE ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WAS KIND OF AMUSING,

YOU KNOW, THE WAY THAT YOU BEGGED HER TO GET PETE A JOB,

AND THEN PETE COMIN' IN AND BLOWIN' HER DAD'S MIND,

NEARLY GIVING HIM A HEART ATTACK.

SHE SAID, "I GUESS THAT'S ALL PART OF BERG'S CHARM."

REALLY? NO!

Woman on TV: IN SUPER SLOW-MOTION PHOTOGRAPHY,

WE WITNESS A DUNG BEETLE EMERGE FROM THE DUNG BALL,

ONLY TO FALL VICTIM TO THE STICKY TONGUE OF AN AWAITING CHAMELEON.

THIS IS REALLY WHAT YOU DO ALL DAY?

MM-HMM.

COOL.

HEAR ME OUT. HOW IS IT?

EXCELLENT. GREAT.

LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING QUIT THE RED SOX.

THEY NEED A SHORT STOP TOO.

I'M JUST SAYING...

PLAY FOR US ON SATURDAYS.

ONLY IF SHE'S PLAYING.

THAT'S OUR CATCHER.

RIGHT NOW YOU ARE EMBARRASING ME.

HE'S EMBARRASING ME.

THAT'S WHY I COME HERE. OH.

THAT AND THE PIZZA.

IT'S FREE, RIGHT? IT'S ON PETE.

OK, LUMAR. LAST OFFER.

YOU PLAY FOR US,

YOU DON'T PAY FOR THE UNIFORMS.

RED SOX DON'T MAKE ME PAY FOR MY UNIFORM.

YEAH, BUT THESE ARE PRE-SHUNK CUT.

LATER, GUYS.

LATER.

SEE YOU.

DARN. I CAN'T BELIEVE THE RED SOX GOT HIM BEFORE WE DID.

DON'T WORRY. HE WILL BE BACK.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

STOLE HIS ROOKIE OF THE YEAR RING