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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:06,673 [upbeat saxophone music] 2 00:00:06,706 --> 00:00:10,143 [laughter] 3 00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:11,745 - Oh, what are you guys laughing at? 4 00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:13,713 That video I sent you of the guy playing the bongos 5 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,382 off his wife's butt? 6 00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:19,352 Oh! 7 00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:20,387 - No. No. 8 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:22,789 It's a home movie from the annual 9 00:00:22,822 --> 00:00:25,658 Van Bryan family pork picnic. 10 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:28,228 We're going through old footage to show at our wedding. 11 00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:30,296 - Who's the Kool-Aid man sucking all that marrow 12 00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,399 out of the rack of ribs? 13 00:00:32,432 --> 00:00:34,167 - Ah! 14 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,069 - That's my grandma. - Ah. 15 00:00:37,837 --> 00:00:40,774 - Dad, do you happen to have any videos of my Grandma Elsa? 16 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,475 I'm just curious of what she looked like, 17 00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:43,843 'cause she died before I was born. 18 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,179 - Want a video of my mom, huh? 19 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:49,582 Imagine a chola-shaped dust cloud 20 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:50,817 and me in an old diaper. 21 00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:53,553 [speaking Spanish] 22 00:00:53,586 --> 00:00:56,389 And now imagine her disappearing from my life. 23 00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:00,794 - How about home movies from when I was a kid? 24 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:02,262 Mom said that you had them? 25 00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:03,296 - Oh, yeah. 26 00:01:03,329 --> 00:01:06,466 Uh, so remember how 27 00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:07,867 I wasn't in your life for 10 years, 28 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,870 and then I came back? 29 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,605 Then I got sober, 30 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:15,875 and then I went to therapy, right? 31 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,111 I lost all your videos. 32 00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:22,515 - At least say the dog ate them. 33 00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:26,152 Amateur. 34 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:32,258 - Are you OK, Mayan? 35 00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:33,893 - It's just really hard to accept that 36 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,595 we've lost the only record 37 00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:38,631 of any happy memories from my childhood. 38 00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:41,267 But I'm not angry. 39 00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:43,269 - Oh, thank God. 40 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:45,638 - I'm just disappointed. 41 00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:47,607 - Oh, that's worse. 42 00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,211 - [sighs] 43 00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:52,212 - Oh, you're mad too? 44 00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,147 You're not even in them! 45 00:01:56,816 --> 00:01:57,784 - Don't worry, man. 46 00:01:57,817 --> 00:01:59,252 It'll be fine. 47 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:00,754 Mayan knows that there's literally 48 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:04,391 nothing you can do to bring back those lost videos. 49 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:07,794 - The thing is that they're not lost. 50 00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:09,362 I just can't get them. 51 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,264 - Why? Are they on the floor? 52 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,767 'Cause I can pick them up for you. 53 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,237 - They're in a place that just has a lot of bad memories. 54 00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:18,538 - Oh. What's worse, 55 00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:21,741 disappointing Mayan or facing your past? 56 00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,777 - Yeah, well, I guess disappointing Mayan 57 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,311 would be worse, but, you know, 58 00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,981 after all these years of doing it so much, 59 00:02:28,014 --> 00:02:29,916 you'd think it'd be easy. 60 00:02:29,949 --> 00:02:30,950 - That's true. 61 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,920 [upbeat saxophone music] 62 00:02:33,953 --> 00:02:41,227 * * 63 00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:49,836 - So on her podcast, 64 00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:52,706 Dr. Jennifer says that a healthy relationship 65 00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:57,477 is built on a foundation of honesty and trust. 66 00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:01,381 - OK, that's what I've been telling you for years. 67 00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:05,919 - But you don't have your own podcast, Mayan. 68 00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:10,924 Anyway, I am not dating any more toxic liars, 69 00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:13,760 only stable guys who give me 70 00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,729 what Dr. Jennifer calls 71 00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:19,466 the warm and fuzzies. 72 00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,634 - Oh, so she's a doctor, like Dr. Seuss. 73 00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:25,338 Look, I'm just glad that you're working on yourself, 74 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,340 even if you got it from some old lady's podcast. 75 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,908 - Oh, she's not old. 76 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:31,544 She's 27, just like you. 77 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:32,545 Mm-hmm. 78 00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:34,781 Only cooler and better dressed. 79 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,018 - OK. All right. 80 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,686 Well, I'm gonna go see 81 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,621 if Quinten's ready for his lunch break. 82 00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,527 - First of all, damn! 83 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,728 On it. 84 00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:51,364 - Ready for lunch? 85 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,633 - I'm, uh, too nervous to eat. 86 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,702 My district manager, Roberto, is here. 87 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,504 He's the one who decides which manager goes 88 00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:59,606 to Applepalooza in Cupertino. 89 00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:01,007 And this year, there is a performance 90 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,376 by Third Eye Blind. 91 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,646 - [gasps] Oh, I know that one song! 92 00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,483 We could really use a vacation. 93 00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:12,452 I love our son, but I would love him even more 94 00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:13,853 if I just didn't see him for a few days. 95 00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,789 - [chuckles] Yeah. 96 00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:18,024 - So get over there and kiss some ass, Van Lopez. 97 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,059 - Oh, I will. 98 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,093 Uh, but--but it looks like 99 00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:22,362 Roberto's busy helping your mom. 100 00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:25,065 - So your parents are still married, 101 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,800 you like your job, 102 00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,002 and you return your shopping carts? 103 00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:31,371 [laughs] 104 00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:34,708 How do you do it? 105 00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:35,742 - I do yoga. 106 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:36,743 I meditate. 107 00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:37,811 I journal. 108 00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,579 - Ah! [laughs] 109 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,448 What? 110 00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:45,352 But you're a man. 111 00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:51,391 Is it, um, getting warm and fuzzy in here? 112 00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:53,660 - I'd be happy to adjust the temperature for you. 113 00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:56,596 District managers can do that. 114 00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:57,731 - Oh! 115 00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,833 [laughs] 116 00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,835 - Your mom is not flirting with my boss, is she? 117 00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:02,969 - Oh, no. 118 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,070 Come on. You know my mom. 119 00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:05,005 She's probably just working it 120 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,807 to get a discount on some new headphones. 121 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,476 - [clears throat] 122 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:13,980 Guess who has a date with an honest and stable guy. 123 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,449 It's me! 124 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,985 - [laughs] 125 00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,955 Since when is that your type? 126 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,523 - I can tell you-- since her best friend, 127 00:05:23,556 --> 00:05:25,358 Dr. Jennifer, told her. 128 00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,528 - All right, don't be jealous, Mayan. 129 00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:31,097 It gives you wrinkles. 130 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,566 I am into nice guys now. 131 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,468 - Uh, yes, I love that for you. 132 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,071 Um, but out of all the nice guys out there, 133 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:41,975 why do you have to choose the one who could fire me? 134 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,044 - You should be proud of me. 135 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:47,147 In the wise words of Dr. Jennifer, 136 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:52,052 take the win, you dumb sluts. 137 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,787 * * 138 00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:58,558 [upbeat saxophone music] 139 00:05:58,591 --> 00:05:59,693 - Good news. 140 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:00,727 Roberto texted. 141 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,595 He says, "Date went great. 142 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:04,130 Rosie amazing." 143 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:05,665 - Is this how guys text? 144 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,033 Like cavemen? 145 00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:10,637 - There's more. 146 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:14,507 "I owe you one, something big." 147 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,542 - Something big? 148 00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:16,643 You know what that means? 149 00:06:16,676 --> 00:06:18,945 - Access to the thermostat. 150 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:24,150 - No, the trip to Cupertino. 151 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:29,956 Me, you, swaying our hips to "Semi-Charmed Kind of Life." 152 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,559 - Sounds like a dream! 153 00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,761 - And even better, my mom is finally dating 154 00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:36,062 someone who's good for her. 155 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,697 - Yes. 156 00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:40,767 - I'm here, 157 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,670 and I might be queer, 158 00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:47,107 because that was the worst date ever. 159 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,141 - What? 160 00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:49,576 No, that--that can't be. 161 00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:50,543 "Date--date went great. 162 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:51,845 Rosie amazing." 163 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,248 - He asked too many questions. 164 00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:56,616 "Where are you from? 165 00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:59,219 What's your family like?" 166 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,554 - It sounds like Roberto was just trying to get to know you. 167 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:02,789 - Ugh! Why? 168 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,693 And I hated the way he can't make decisions. 169 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:09,963 Don't ask me what kind of wine I prefer. 170 00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:14,834 Pick a bottle so that I can say I don't like it. 171 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,569 - Don't take this the wrong way, 172 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,105 but he sounds stable, 173 00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,740 and you sound crazy. 174 00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,677 - Oh, do I? 175 00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:27,580 He got me daisies, OK, 176 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,649 when clearly I am a rose woman. 177 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,751 My name is Rosie! 178 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,655 Here. - Oh. 179 00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:38,558 - I know how much you like a basic flower. 180 00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:40,927 * * 181 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:44,030 - There it is, the Lopez family storage unit. 182 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,666 For generations, anything a Lopez wanted to forget about 183 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,635 was thrown in there. 184 00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,970 - Why don't you guys just throw it away 185 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:53,873 so I can rummage through it? 186 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:54,808 - We're not gonna throw it away. 187 00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:56,843 We're hoarders! 188 00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,778 Mayan's videos are in there. 189 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,013 - Then what are we waiting for? 190 00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:01,748 - My mom's stuff is in there. 191 00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:04,117 My grandmother dumped it in there when she left. 192 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,852 I don't want to see that stuff. 193 00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:07,587 Old makeup case with her eyebrow stencils. 194 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:12,759 Once her eyebrows went on, then she'd be gone for a week, 195 00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,928 except one time, she didn't come back at all. 196 00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:17,764 - You got this, man. 197 00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:21,034 Your mom's eyebrows can't hurt you now. 198 00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:23,903 - Thanks. 199 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,105 Doing this for Mayan. 200 00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:28,708 - You know, with all the stuff you misplaced, 201 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,343 I'm surprised you still have the key. 202 00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:31,845 - Yeah. Me, too. 203 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,951 Lopez family key. 204 00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:53,933 Where's all the stuff? 205 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,301 - Don't take this the wrong way, 206 00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,203 but you might not be a hoarder. 207 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,940 What I am seeing, though, is an upgrade 208 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,342 from living in the truck. 209 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,244 Fully furnished, turnkey. 210 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,216 - Why, hello, kind sir. 211 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,885 I'm just here in the dead of night 212 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:15,255 to store my trusty bolt cutters. 213 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,857 I will be on my way. 214 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,759 Ha-ha-ha--oh. 215 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:20,960 Just came here for my daughter's videos. 216 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:22,262 You're disappointing her! 217 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,767 - Hey. 218 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,937 You cannot enter my home without a warrant. 219 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,977 * * 220 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,113 - OK, I just had a long talk with my mom 221 00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:41,781 about giving Roberto a second chance 222 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,316 by going on a double date with us. 223 00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,384 - And that worked? 224 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,752 - No. 225 00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:49,255 She said she didn't want to see him again. 226 00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:52,225 But then I said, but what if you did? 227 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,861 And then I held up Dr. Jennifer's book titled, 228 00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:58,031 "But What If You Did?" 229 00:09:58,064 --> 00:10:01,334 - I just don't think your mom is ready to accept a nice guy. 230 00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:04,104 - But Roberto is exactly the kind of guy she needs-- 231 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:08,341 loyal, honest, a credit score above 200. 232 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,411 - But that is not what gets her guavas going. 233 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,013 - You're right. 234 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,981 We gotta make Roberto passionate, 235 00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:17,150 edgy, a little dangerous. 236 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:18,151 - Oh. 237 00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:20,453 Like me. 238 00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:23,923 - I said passionate, edgy, a little dangerous. 239 00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:27,394 We just got to get her started 240 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,696 down the road to a healthy relationship. 241 00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:31,297 And if that road happens to have 242 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:35,168 a off ramp to Cupertino, it's a win-win. 243 00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:39,806 - And that is where I'm gonna get your guavas going. 244 00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:43,343 - OK, where did you hear that? 245 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,182 [upbeat saxophone music] 246 00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:50,316 * * 247 00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:55,155 - I don't know about this. 248 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,890 I look like a guy who has a naked woman 249 00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:59,359 painted on the hood of his car. 250 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:01,061 - That's exactly what we're going for. 251 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,096 Look--look, Rosie likes you, 252 00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,064 but I think you'll really lock it down 253 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,166 if you just lean into your dangerous side. 254 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,768 - Oh, like in high school when I was percussion lieutenant 255 00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:11,137 in the marching band? 256 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,405 - How was that dangerous? 257 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:15,408 - If one person trips, we all fall down. 258 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,511 - Let's just say you played drums in a band. 259 00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:20,180 Leave it at that. 260 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,481 Get in there, bad boy. 261 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,189 - Hello, beautiful. 262 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,825 - Hello, Roberto. 263 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,496 - These are for you. 264 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,869 - How did you do that? 265 00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:46,306 - I'm a Magic Castle certified illusionist. 266 00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:49,109 - [clears throat loudly] - Oh. 267 00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:52,112 In the streets and in the sheets. 268 00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:57,083 - And just wait until you hear about his other 269 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,819 edgy, adrenaline-pumping hobbies. 270 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,488 - Like D&D? 271 00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:05,425 Which, as you know, stands for 272 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,927 Drunk and Disorderly. 273 00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:12,132 * * 274 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,401 - Who could have taken all of your stuff? 275 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,869 - I mean, I don't know. 276 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,871 Those videos are gone. 277 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,840 Now there's nothing I can do to make Mayan feel better. 278 00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,943 - Whenever Mommy's mad at me, I draw a picture of her. 279 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,180 It's trash, but she still throws that baby 280 00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:28,481 up on the fridge. 281 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:34,387 - So that time that you broke the window in the garage, 282 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,823 you just did some half-assed art project, 283 00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:39,092 and your mom was all right with it? 284 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,393 - Yeah. 285 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:43,396 Thanks to you, in this house, the bar is low. 286 00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:48,001 - But you know what? 287 00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:49,002 You only get away with that 288 00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,037 because you're a cute kid. 289 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,808 - Hey, nobody told you to grow up like that. 290 00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:59,145 * * 291 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,281 - You spend enough time on the road with your band, 292 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,550 and you become pretty close. 293 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:06,152 Those are 15 of my best friends. 294 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,854 And that's just the drumline. 295 00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:11,424 - Band had to cycle through a lot of drummers 296 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,327 'cause of, uh, all the, uh, drug issues. 297 00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:18,631 - You have a lot of crazy stories, Roberto. 298 00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:21,067 Some people would say that's a red flag. 299 00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:22,202 - But some people-- 300 00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:23,903 Dr. Jennifer--would say, 301 00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:28,041 sometimes a red flag is just a green flag in disguise. 302 00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:30,310 - Rosie, I know we've only known each other 303 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,612 for a short time, but when it feels right, 304 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:33,947 it feels right. 305 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:38,451 Rosie, have you ever been to Cupertino? 306 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,920 - Oh, is--is that in wine country? 307 00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,355 - Oh, no. 308 00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,124 But they do have the biggest BevMo! 309 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:47,027 in the Bay Area. 310 00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,061 Would you like to go with me? 311 00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:51,064 - Roberto! 312 00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:54,534 You can't give the trip to Cupertino to yourself. 313 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:57,337 - Bad boy can do anything he wants. 314 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:00,907 So what do you say, Rosie? 315 00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,175 - Oh, I don't know. 316 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:04,110 It seems a little sudden. 317 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:09,482 But maybe it's a green flag in disguise, right, Mayan? 318 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:12,619 - But some green flags wear two disguises 319 00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:15,388 and are a green and a red flag at the same time, 320 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,490 but mostly a red flag. 321 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,059 Dr. Jennifer in Chapter 14-- 322 00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:22,028 - Oh, can it, Mayan. 323 00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,997 Dr. Jennifer never said that. 324 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,032 - She may have. 325 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,635 I never finished the book. 326 00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:31,438 - This man doesn't get drunk and disorderly 327 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,106 or play in a rock band. 328 00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:34,341 - You knew that? 329 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,642 - Yeah. 330 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:38,445 You ordered a virgin spritzer on our first date. 331 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:41,114 - I thought it was a cool drink. 332 00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:42,115 - [sighs] 333 00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:43,316 - I'm sorry. 334 00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:45,051 Quinten told me if I'd be edgier, 335 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,353 you'd like me more. 336 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,688 - Why are you guys trying to manipulate me? 337 00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:53,393 - We genuinely want you to date a stable guy. 338 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:56,629 And we also wanted to go to Cupertino. 339 00:14:56,663 --> 00:15:00,300 - But we want you to date a stable guy more 340 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:03,603 because otherwise we would sound like terrible people. 341 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,538 - You are. 342 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,240 You're a bunch of liars. 343 00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:08,441 - I'm sorry. 344 00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:10,643 - Oh, no, not you. 345 00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,045 You're just a gullible nerd 346 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:15,415 who's never had anything like this. 347 00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,217 - I guess you're really mad at us? 348 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,152 - No. 349 00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:20,453 I'm not angry. 350 00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:22,055 both: Oh, good. 351 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,356 - I'm just disappointed. 352 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,358 both: Oh, God. 353 00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:32,198 - I'm sorry we steered you wrong, Roberto. 354 00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,700 - I get it. 355 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:36,102 You're one of our top employees at the Apple Store. 356 00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,605 If anybody has earned that trip, it's you. 357 00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:43,376 But you're not getting it now, ass-face. 358 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:45,211 * * 359 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:52,052 [upbeat saxophone music] 360 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:53,053 - Hi, Mom. 361 00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,421 - We're here to apologize. 362 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,689 - For trying to pimp me out 363 00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,657 in order to get a free trip? 364 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,661 And a domestic one at that? 365 00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:06,232 - Mom, you have every right to be mad. 366 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:09,102 It was wrong to manipulate you and Roberto. 367 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:12,205 - It just hurts to know that you don't believe 368 00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:13,606 that I can change. 369 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,175 - We do believe in you. 370 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,810 We should not have rushed things. 371 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,746 - It's a huge deal that you want a healthy relationship. 372 00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:22,782 And we'll support you, no matter how long it takes. 373 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,517 - Well, give me some credit. 374 00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:27,187 It might not take that long. 375 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,621 - Hi, there. 376 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,127 OK, bye there. 377 00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:37,464 - Thank you, Roberto. 378 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,366 - Thank you, Rosie. 379 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,240 - What? 380 00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:50,610 It was cold in my bedroom, so he heated things up. 381 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,712 - Mom! 382 00:16:52,746 --> 00:16:55,715 - [speaking Spanish] Not like that. 383 00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:01,187 My thermostat wasn't working, so he fixed it. 384 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:04,124 Well, who knew that a nice guy with tech skills 385 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,292 would get my guavas going? 386 00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,632 - That's where I heard it. 387 00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,669 * * 388 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,704 - Welcome. 389 00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:21,074 Step and repeat until you find your seat. 390 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,813 - What's happening, Gordo? 391 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:30,684 - What is a home movie? 392 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:35,321 It's a question that's been asked for centuries. 393 00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:38,224 A series of dazzling family images 394 00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:41,594 that take you back to the sights, 395 00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:44,397 sounds, and emotions of-- 396 00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:46,232 oh, what's that word? 397 00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:47,233 - Particular. 398 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,368 - Particular time. 399 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,910 - Wait, so you found my old videos? 400 00:17:56,943 --> 00:17:59,179 - Uh, no. 401 00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:02,849 But I am sorry that I disappointed you. 402 00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:06,786 And I hope that this is something that makes you 403 00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:09,489 feel a little bit better, OK? 404 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,859 [upbeat music playing] 405 00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,661 Mayan, get out here. 406 00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:17,263 I have something for you. 407 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:18,498 - A new bike? 408 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:19,632 Thanks, Daddy. 409 00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:22,402 But where are the training wheels? 410 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,637 - Ah, loca, training wheels. 411 00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:26,373 You're a big girl now. 412 00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:28,508 It's time to learn how to ride a big girl bike. 413 00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,276 Get on. 414 00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:35,815 - I'm scared. 415 00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:37,384 - Don't worry. 416 00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:38,418 I got you. 417 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,620 Start pedaling. 418 00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,922 Now fly, my little dove, fly! 419 00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:47,360 - I'm the queen of the world! 420 00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:49,329 [crashing] 421 00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,467 - Uh-oh. 422 00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,936 - I'm here! 423 00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:59,406 [gasps] And oh, my God! 424 00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:00,573 My baby! 425 00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:01,975 George, what did you do? 426 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,544 - I was teaching her how to ride a bike. 427 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:05,812 - She's too young. 428 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,381 - Get off my back, woman. 429 00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:09,783 - You always do this. 430 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,418 - I don't have to explain myself to you. 431 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,753 - Yes, you do! 432 00:19:13,787 --> 00:19:14,888 - Mommy, Daddy! 433 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:17,724 Stop fighting! I'm bleeding! 434 00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:20,860 - And scene. 435 00:19:20,894 --> 00:19:22,529 - Oh, George. 436 00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:23,797 - All right. 437 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,833 I know it's not perfect, but I'm pretty sure 438 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:30,670 that's exactly how it went. 439 00:19:30,704 --> 00:19:32,539 - So you thought it was a good idea 440 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:36,443 to spend all day making puppets and shooting something 441 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:39,346 completely unusable for the wedding? 442 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:42,882 - Yeah. 443 00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:46,319 - I love it. 444 00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:50,990 - You're not disappointed in me? 445 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:52,492 - Not even a little? 446 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:59,699 - Thanks to my dad, in this house, the bar is low. 447 00:19:59,733 --> 00:20:00,900 - I told you. 448 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,271 - That's great. Thank you guys. 449 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:06,373 Hey, you ain't seen nothing yet. 450 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,608 Hey, Rosie, Chance, come on, let's load up on snacks. 451 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:11,811 We got two more hours to watch. 452 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,382 - Two hours? 453 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:18,284 - Yeah, those puppets fight at a birthday party, 454 00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:20,820 a water park, a baptism... 455 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,391 [knocking] 456 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,663 - Oh, hi. Can I help you? 457 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:33,633 - Yes, does George Lopez live here? 458 00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:34,901 - Yes, he does. 459 00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:38,438 And we are very sorry for whatever he did. 460 00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:41,408 - I got a call from my storage facility. 461 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:43,943 They said he was looking for these. 462 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,781 - Wait, my home videos. 463 00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:48,982 - Yeah. 464 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,717 - Sorry, who are you? 465 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,852 - Well... 466 00:20:56,790 --> 00:20:58,425 Hi, George. 467 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:03,897 - What are you doing here? 468 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,432 - Dad, who is this? 469 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,538 - I'm Elsa, his mother. 470 00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,711 - Grandma Elsa? 471 00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:19,646 You said she was dead. 472 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,615 - She is to me. 473 00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:29,022 [somber saxophone music] 474 00:21:29,072 --> 00:21:33,622 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32270

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