Original subtitles

- You know the place, Colonel?

- It's an old abandoned mine a little over a mile

from here isn't it? - That's it,

hasn't been used in years.

10 days ago, a construction team started working on it.

They put in a heavy steel door, even built a sentry box.

- Hmm-mm with camouflage.

- Hmm-mm. - Do you mind?

- Sorry, sir. - An old abandoned mine

in the middle of nowhere why?

- They have been fostered very carefully.

- This could mean something permanent.

- What do you think sir?

- I think you're breathing on my eagles.

- I mean any ideas, sir?

No but you have.

Do you think you could watch this for us?

- We will do the best we can.

- All right, let us know if the Krauts make a move.

LeBeau? - Yes sir?

- You and Newkirk take Lisa out

through the emergency tunnel.

Colonel.

- Good luck. - Thank you, Colonel.

- Newkirk? - Yes, sir?

- Ease off will you?

- I can't help you, sir, I'm in love.

- You just met her an hour ago,

supposed she'd been a middle-aged frumpy hausfrau.

- Well, that would have taken an extra 15 minutes.

- We've gotta end this war quick, you're a menace.

- Yes sir.

- Hello a parade.

- Did you see that, Colonel?

Klink seemed surprised.

- He doesn't get much drop-in business

especially with generals.

- I'll see what I can find out with Schultz.

- Hold it.

Let's go about this the business-like way.

They go into their office, we go into ours.

After you gentlemen.

- That will be all, Frau Helga.

- Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

- To the Fuhrer.

Very good schnapps, Colonel.

- Oh, yes, sir excellent and may I say, sir

it is indeed an unexpected pleasure to have you here.

Danke, danke.

- Now before we proceed, I must be sure

about your security arrangements.

- General Metzger, I'm happy to say

that this is the most secure of stalag in all of Germany.

You are as safe here as you would be

in Berchtesgaden itself.

- It's safe or we can't send him to the Russian front, right?

Right.

- And it is absolutely top secret by the Fuhrer's orders.

- The Fuhrer.

Would you care for another schnapps?

- Nein. - No, no.

Oh, secrets can be so exciting.

- Our beloved commandant is a nut case.

- It's embarrassing.

- I may put in for a transfer.

- I have been ordered to see that supplies of arms

and ammunition are hidden in strategic areas

all over Germany. - What hidden?

- Their first location is an abandoned mine

about a mile and a half from Stalag 13.

It is being converted for that purpose.

- Well, sir, I must say the Fuhrer is certainly

full of surprises.

- Very intelligent surprises.

- Yes, sir very intelligent.

Now that first load of weapons is in that truck out there.

I will personally supervise their storage

when the mine is ready.

- General Metzger if I could be of any assistance.

- I want a 24 hour guard posted at that mine.

- Of course.

- The men to be drawn from your command.

- I'm afraid that's impossible, Stalag 13 is under strain.

- I am acting for the Fuhrer, is impossible

what you really want to say?

- Yes, sir, it is impossible to say no to him,

that was just a little joke.

Indeed, yes.

- The guard will be posted.

- Very good.

- Sir, let me ask you one thing.

Hiding guns all over the country,

could that mean we are possibly in a little bit of trouble?

- Trouble, do you mean is the war going against us?

- You said it I didn't.

- Merely a precaution.

You understand why this must be kept secret.

If it got out it would have a serious affect upon morale.

- Not mine, sir, nothing could shake my confidence

in the ultimate victory of the Third Reich.

You wouldn't care for another schnapps, just a teeny one.

- A truckload of guns and ammunition.

- If they have any detonator caps we're running short.

- Hiding guns around the country, that's a loser's trick

and they figure themselves winners.

It doesn't make sense, it doesn't add up.

- Orders from scrambled brains Hitler.

- Yeah, that's what the Kraut general said.

- Generals don't handle jobs like this, a major

or a colonel maybe but not the guys with the fruit salad.

They're either at the Russian front

or in Berlin hiding out at cocktail parties.

- Could Metzger be lying?

- I don't know but I'm gonna find out.

Kinch, get on the radio to London,

find out what dope they have on them.

- Right away, Colonel.

- Sir, why would he tell Klink to.

- Hold it right there.

Why would he tell Klink anything?

If you had a big secret, would you confide in a man

who wears a monocle to bed every night?

Hi, Kinch just coming to see you.

- Likewise, the answer from London on Metzger.

They sure keep tabs on those guys.

- "Early party member, limited combat experience,

second in command, German occupation forces France,

headquarters in Paris.

Not seen three weeks this date.

Thought to be on leave or reassigned.

- Yeah, Hitler must have recalled him for this job.

- Maybe.

When you have a secret project going,

you don't attract attention by moving generals around.

- Colonel, we know they fixed up the mine,

we heard Metzger give Klink the rundown.

I mean, you're a little hung up on this thing aren't you?

- I can't help it, Kinch,

my instinct tells me not to buy it.

- Well, what just will your instinct buy?

- A look inside that truck.

- Come on, mach schnell.

Come on, take it easy, Schultz, we're not going any place.

- I am, to bed as soon as possible.

Had a big party at the sergeant's mess.

Oh, I ate too much.

- Maybe you got apple-strudel hangover.

- Jolly joke.

- Hey, how do you expect us to clean

if you're gonna sit there?

- Clean around me.

- Are you kidding, a detour like that could take all day.

- Another jolly joke.

- Schultz, Schultz?

- What's going on?

- Oh, I'm mopping up the water from the wall.

- Yeah, there must be a hole in the roof,

the water's draining down behind the wall.

- Yeah, from the snow when it melts.

- How come I didn't see it?

- You were too busy sleeping.

- You better report it, Schultz.

- Please, don't tell me what to do.

I don't tell you how to be a prisoner of war.

- We'll be glad to have any suggestions.

- Sure, as long as they're constructive.

- Shut up and go back to work.

I think that's constructive.

Come in, come in.

- Sergeant Carter, sir, can we start the job now?

- What job? - Stop pushing, Louis.

I mean, the hammering won't bother you?

- What job?

- Fixing the hole in your roof,

you got a bad leak up there.

Didn't Sergeant Schultz report it?

- I gave no such orders.

- He doesn't want it fixed, start pulling, Louis.

- Wait, wait, I didn't say that.

- Stop pulling, Louis, he changed his mind.

- Wait, wait, you may proceed. Proceed.

- Stop pushing, Louis, yes sir.

Thank you, sir, thank you, yes sir.

- Get right on it, sir.

Yes, sir, excuse me, sir.

I'm sorry, excuse me, sir, yes sir.

- What I have to put up with for you.

- Hi, Schultz. - Hi.

- Hiya, Schultzy.

- Hi. - Hi.

- What, what, what, what is this?

- We're fixing the roof.

- Yeah, commandant's orders.

- We have to go over your head for permission.

- Yeah, you were asleep.

- Why didn't you wake me up and ask me?

- Maybe next time. - If there is a next time.

- Is it a promise? - Sure.

- Why not? - All right, go ahead.

- Help, help, LeBeau fell off the roof!

Help, help!

What happened, what happened?

- He fell down from all the way up there.

- It's his ankle.

- I think I'm going to faint.

Yes, I will faint.

- Better get a stretcher quick, Schultz.

- J-J-J-Jawohl.

- Not you, you stay there at the post, Dummkpof!

Jawohl!

- We better get him off the ground, Colonel,

he may be in shock. - Good idea.

Halt! Verboten!

- An emergency, Verstehen Sie?

- Emergency. - Yeah emergency scnell.

All right, get him up in there.

All right, make it fast.

- Watch it. - No.

- Emergency, Herr Colonel? - Yeah, emergency,

see how fast they learn.

- Alles in Ordung, Fritz, now get lost.

- Okay move.

Cover him, let's go.

- How is he? - Uh, sleeping,

- Uh, sleeping. Verstehen? Sleeping.

- Yeah, it's the best thing in the world for him.

- Why are we knocking our brains out,

all he understands is emergency.

- Ja! E-mer-gen-cy.

- Gency, yeah.

- Hey, Dummkopf!

, I told you to stand on guard,

go back to your post.

Where's the cockroach?

- The Colonel took him back to the barracks, Schultz.

- Afraid he'd catch cold.

- Yeah, you'd better get over there.

- Oh, ja.

- I didn't know it was gonna be formal.

- Just lie down and be quiet.

- How is he? - Oh hi, Schultz.

I just bandaged his ankle, he'll be all right.

- Maybe we'd better take him to the hospital.

- No, no, no, Schultz, just let him rest.

- Louis!

Wrong foot.

- Ooh, he sounds terrible.

- Close one, huh, Schultz?

- It's my responsibility, if anything happens,

I could be in big trouble.

- But he's fine. - Yeah, he's fine now.

- Where are you looking? - Over there.

- Oh.

- Colonel Hogan, Colonel Hogan I was,

the Frenchman was and you were.

- It's fairly possible he's about to lay an egg.

- You better have a cup of coffee first, Schultz.

- Not guns and ammunition, mon Colonel.

That truck is loaded with art.

- What?

- You're jo-, art? - Yes, art,

paintings, tapestries, silver, gold.

Voila.

- Snuff box.

- Solid gold, mon Colonel.

See the inscription.

"Presented to Le Duc de Chalfont la Fage

by his Royal Highness Prince of Amalfi. Paris 1749."

That's worth thousands. - A museum piece, huh?

- Right.

Here's our proof.

Ivory, so old it's yellow.

Got to be 200 years.

See what it says,"The collection of Countess de Malmont,"

stolen from a museum, those animals.

- Now it adds up, Metzger's stationed in France,

in his spare time he's collected these goodies.

- Collected with a gun. - Right.

When he's got a million bucks worth he brings them

back to Germany, something to nibble on after the war,

win, lose or draw.

- Why the snow job about guns and ammunition?

- Yeah, he's a general?

- Only the big boys can steal openly, Hitler, Goering,

Himmler.

Metzger's on the second team, he's gotta hide his loot.

Otherwise they get jealous and jealousy leads

to firing squads.

- We must take it away from them.

- General Metzger isn't gonna like that.

- Somebody's gonna get hurt like us.

- Those are the national treasures of France,

they can't steal them, I won't allow it.

- He won't allow it.

You're coming unstuck, mate.

- You wouldn't talk like this if the krauts

was stealing from England or America.

- All right, all right, hold it.

Can't you get on the radio to the underground?

The girl, Lisa knows the mine area,

we'll need at least two men that the Krauts

have never seen.

- Right.

- I still say this job's a bit out of our line.

- Yeah, it sure is.

- Do I have to repeat the orders that were given

to us when this happy little band of wondering minstrels

was formed?

- Sir, all I'm trying to.

- Okay, I will, quote, "You'll assist escaping prisoners",

cooperate with all friendly forces

and use every means to harass

"and injure the enemy," unquote.

- Does that mean saving gold snuff boxes?

- It does and 200-year-old ivory fans.

The Krauts learn they just can't take things,

that's injuring them in my book.

Vive le Colonel. Vive le Colonel.

- LeBeau? - Yes, sir.

Shut up.

Figure Metzger will take off in his car for Berlin

as soon as they finish unloading at the mine.

The empty truck will go on it's own.

Take this road right here.

Carl, you and Walter have got to stop the truck right there.

- Uh, there's a guard and a driver, Colonel.

- Yeah, a problem.

- All right, Carl, you'll be an officer, a captain

and Walter will be a private.

You take the truck and you order the driver

and the guard back to their base.

- I'll need measurements for the uniform, sir.

- Right.

Now London has agreed to give us a fake commando raid.

They're gonna drop dummies in the area right about here.

That should keep the sentries busy.

Carter? - Yes sir.

- I need some demolition packs to blast open that mine

and some smoke bombs.

- Yes, sir, I can give you impact or delayed action

or a mixture of both.

Now personally I prefer. - Just smoke bombs, Carter.

- Yes, sir.

I'll fix up a very nice assortment.

- Now let's go from the top.

Karl, you and Walter will bring the truck back

to the mine.

You order the sentry into the woods,

we blast open the door and we load that art collection

back on the truck and you two take off for Amsterdam.

London has given us the address of a safe house.

- That means crossing the border.

- And checkpoints on the way.

- You'll be in uniform and a truck assigned

to General Metzger.

Kinch? - What?

- I need some orders for them signed by the General,

also some Army paid books, requisition forms,

the complete works. - Gotcha.

- Kinch does good work, the papers will get you through.

Now is it all clear, any questions?

- Oui, Colonel.

What's the plan in case something goes wrong?

- Start running. - And don't look back,

something may be gaining on us.

- They're just leaving. - Okay, let's go.

Right on the button, so far we're in business.

All right, Carter, take off, start the smoke

and get back to the mine fast.

- On my way. - Let's go.

- Klink speaking.

What, commandos, at this hour?

Yes, all available men on a green alert.

No, nevermind, make that a red alert.

- Halt, who goes there!

- Captain Webber.

Any sign of commandos?

Commandos? Uh, no, Herr Captain. No, no, no, no commandos.

- All right, fall in, follow me.

- Wait a minute, sir, but I have orders

to stay on guard here, besides there might be

some shooting going on.

- I'm not interested in your orders, Sergeant,

we need every man we can get.

- Yeah, but the General. - I said fall in!

I'm falling, I'm falling.

- After them, after them!

- Schnell, schnell!

- "Schnell, schnell."

Over there, fire.

- Ah! - Return the fire.

- Jawohl! - Shoot those trees!

- Jawohl, Herr kommandant!

- Keep firing, Sergeant!

- Easy now.

- Wow, is she pretty? - She's more than that.

- Get it on the truck, let's go.

- Is that it? - Yeah.

We're all set, sir.

- All right, good.

Karl, Walter, good luck.

- Au revoir, Lisa.

- Be careful, darling.

- Married? - Afraid so old chap.

- I don't think I can go on with this war.

- Oh come on, Newkirk, give us another chance, please?

- Now I want answers, I shall have answers,

why did you leave your post!

- Herr Kommandant,

an officer came along and ordered to attack the enemy.

- But you had orders from me!

- But he was an officer.

- Dummkopf, so am I.

- Congratulations, sir.

- Silence, I'll deal with you later.

Now Schultz, put yourself on report, dismissed Schultz.

- Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

- General Metzger has just passed the outer gate.

- Oh no.

- I guess I'll be running along, Colonel,

you two probably have a lot to talk about.

- Hogan, this is the end of a brilliant military career.

- Anybody we know sir?

- Not only my career but my life.

My choice is very simple, the firing squad

or the hangman's noose.

- How could a nice Nazi general do a thing like that?

- Hogan, you don't seem to understand.

I was responsible for a secret ammunition dump,

it's been stolen.

- Toughest commandant in all of Germany guarding ammunition

it's ridiculous.

- I'll remember that when they put on the blindfold.

- Stand up to him, Colonel, after all you're not a lackey

for every desk general that comes along.

At Berchtesgaden they still refer to you

as the Bald Eagle of Stalag 13.

- The Iron Eagle.

- I say tell him off.

- Hogan, maybe you're right.

- After all, what do you got to lose,

you can always fall back on a firing squad.

- Klink, I've just come from that mine,

it is empty, empty.

General Metzger, I assure you this was an accident of war!

- You are going to be an accident of war

and without a trial, Dummkpof!

- Tell him off.

- Sir, may I remind you that you are talking

to the Bald Eagle of Stalag 13?

- Iron Eagle. - Iron Eagle!

- Klink, I want every box and every crate

returned to that mine in 24 hours

or you are a dead man.

- Sir, I assure you it was the commandos, I.

- I want action, I want it now, if I don't.

- Hold it, General, easy Colonel, don't lose your temper.

- Lose his temper.

- I know him, this is just the lull before the storm.

- Hogan, what are you?

- Easy, Colonel, so far you've shown great restraint.

We're very lucky.

- I will have his head on a plate.

- Don't push him too far.

- Hogan. - No telling

what he'll do next, just before you came,

he was gonna call the Fuhrer and make a formal complaint.

- I was?

- General, you're the senior officer,

maybe you'd rather call the Fuhrer and tell him

about the stolen ammunition.

It was ammunition wasn't it?

- There is no need to disturb the Fuhrer

about a commando raid.

I will settle this in my own way.

- My compliments, sir, you handled him beautifully.

- I did, yes, I did.

No, desk general will ever threaten me.

- If this gets around, even the prisoners

will be proud of you.

- You know, Hogan there are times when a man

has to be strong.

I think I will call the Fuhrer and make a formal complaint.

- Better think it over, sir, remember your temper.

- Hogan. - Ah, General,

pleasant surprise.

- Hogan, about that commando raid,

I saw those dummies that were dropped.

- Dummies, really, what will they think of next,

this is the way to fight a war, nobody gets hurt.

- Now tell me, Hogan, do you have any idea

of where I might find that ammunition?

- Yeah, in a museum after the war.

- I'm going to order a thorough investigation

of this matter, Hogan.

- I don't think you will, General.

- Oh really and what makes you so sure?

- When you steal from a thief one sure thing

he'll never call the cops.

Night, General.