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1
00:00:53,224 --> 00:00:55,270
- Why is it me always has
to go on this mission?
2
00:00:55,444 --> 00:00:58,316
Why do I always have to
risk my life, and for what?
3
00:00:58,490 --> 00:01:00,797
To give a message to an
old lady who hates me.
4
00:01:03,321 --> 00:01:05,584
Isn't anyone going
to say something?
5
00:01:05,758 --> 00:01:07,499
Gin.
6
00:01:07,673 --> 00:01:10,328
- That's not what he
wanted to hear, Carter.
7
00:01:10,502 --> 00:01:12,113
That's not what I
wanted to hear, either.
8
00:01:12,287 --> 00:01:14,202
- And you're all supposed
to be my buddies.
9
00:01:14,376 --> 00:01:16,682
Hah, I would get more sympathy
from the dirty Boches.
10
00:01:16,856 --> 00:01:18,249
- Come on, LeBeau.
11
00:01:18,423 --> 00:01:20,077
It's not our fault
the underground picked
12
00:01:20,251 --> 00:01:22,079
a crotchety little old lady
to run their message center.
13
00:01:22,253 --> 00:01:23,559
- But why am I
always the one to go?
14
00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:25,126
- It's your own fault.
15
00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:26,257
You never should
have told everyone
16
00:01:26,431 --> 00:01:27,911
what a mean old goat she is.
17
00:01:29,695 --> 00:01:30,609
- Here you are, LeBeau.
18
00:01:30,783 --> 00:01:31,871
Maybe this'll help.
19
00:01:32,046 --> 00:01:33,482
- What is this?
20
00:01:33,656 --> 00:01:34,831
- It's the address of
a chaplain in my unit.
21
00:01:35,005 --> 00:01:36,441
Write to him about
your troubles.
22
00:01:38,791 --> 00:01:40,097
- Still here, LeBeau?
23
00:01:40,271 --> 00:01:41,881
- He's hopin' one of
us'll volunteer
24
00:01:42,056 --> 00:01:43,579
to deliver the message.
25
00:01:43,753 --> 00:01:44,884
- Come on, you know
they've all had their share
26
00:01:45,059 --> 00:01:46,190
of dangerous assignments.
27
00:01:46,364 --> 00:01:47,887
- It's not a danger I mind,
28
00:01:48,062 --> 00:01:49,324
but every time I have
to meet that old lady
29
00:01:49,498 --> 00:01:50,760
I get sick to my stomach.
30
00:01:50,934 --> 00:01:52,631
- It can't be that bad.
- It can't?
31
00:01:52,805 --> 00:01:55,156
Her apartment is over
a German restaurant.
32
00:01:55,330 --> 00:01:58,681
- Maybe you'll get lucky today
and pick up a tailwind.
33
00:01:58,855 --> 00:02:00,596
- Some pals.
34
00:02:00,770 --> 00:02:01,640
- Gin.
35
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:04,339
- You didn't even pick a card.
36
00:02:04,513 --> 00:02:06,515
- Right, I got it on the deal.
37
00:02:06,689 --> 00:02:08,691
How many points do
you have in your hand?
38
00:02:08,865 --> 00:02:09,909
- Plenty.
39
00:02:10,649 --> 00:02:11,563
- Kinch, you're my friend.
40
00:02:11,737 --> 00:02:13,261
Why don't you take my place?
41
00:02:13,435 --> 00:02:15,872
- You're talking to a
man on a three-way blitz.
42
00:02:16,046 --> 00:02:17,569
- The way his luck
is going today,
43
00:02:17,743 --> 00:02:19,615
he'd never make
it out the tunnel.
44
00:02:19,789 --> 00:02:21,660
- Why don't you just
deliver your message
45
00:02:21,834 --> 00:02:23,619
to your old lady
like a good man?
46
00:02:24,924 --> 00:02:26,622
- All right, I'll go.
47
00:02:26,796 --> 00:02:28,189
- I hope with all this you
haven't forgotten the message.
48
00:02:28,363 --> 00:02:30,321
- London advises the
troop train will arrive
49
00:02:30,495 --> 00:02:32,280
at the Weingarten railroad yards
50
00:02:32,454 --> 00:02:34,673
at exactly 4:28 PM tomorrow.
51
00:02:34,847 --> 00:02:35,892
- Right.
52
00:02:36,066 --> 00:02:37,067
- Hey, LeBeau.
- What?
53
00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:37,981
- Her name's Wilhelmina?
54
00:02:38,155 --> 00:02:39,069
- Yes, why?
55
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:40,201
- Well, that's Dutch, isn't it?
56
00:02:40,375 --> 00:02:41,289
- Right?
57
00:02:41,463 --> 00:02:43,117
- Would you ask her if it's true
58
00:02:43,291 --> 00:02:45,249
about that little kid that
put his finger in the dike?
59
00:02:47,599 --> 00:02:49,514
- Carter, do you think
that's all LeBeau's got to do
60
00:02:49,688 --> 00:02:52,039
is ask her stupid
questions like that?
61
00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:53,562
- Thanks, Newkirk.
62
00:02:53,736 --> 00:02:55,085
- I want you to ask
that little old lady
63
00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:59,089
about Hans Brinker
and his silver skates.
64
00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:00,612
- You're all very amusing.
65
00:03:00,786 --> 00:03:02,484
- They make jokes
when they're worried.
66
00:03:02,658 --> 00:03:04,355
- Nothing to worry about,
the Boches will never get me.
67
00:03:04,529 --> 00:03:06,096
- Look, we know it's a
dangerous assignment,
68
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,271
but if that little old lady's
69
00:03:07,445 --> 00:03:08,838
as bad as you've told us she is,
70
00:03:09,012 --> 00:03:11,101
it's better that the
same man be the contact.
71
00:03:14,191 --> 00:03:15,801
- I guess she's not so terrible.
72
00:03:15,975 --> 00:03:17,977
It's like visiting your
grandmother once a week.
73
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:41,610
Hello Wilhelmina.
74
00:03:41,784 --> 00:03:43,394
- Hello, LeBeau.
75
00:03:46,049 --> 00:03:47,485
Did you have any trouble
getting by the Gestapo?
76
00:03:47,659 --> 00:03:48,704
- No, not much.
77
00:03:48,878 --> 00:03:49,705
- Would you like some coffee?
78
00:03:49,879 --> 00:03:50,749
- Yes.
79
00:03:52,795 --> 00:03:54,275
- I always worry.
80
00:03:54,449 --> 00:03:55,928
They're so dangerous.
81
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,017
But sometime, I would
think they would send
82
00:03:58,192 --> 00:03:59,715
one of the other men.
83
00:03:59,889 --> 00:04:02,631
- Somehow, none of the
other men ever volunteer.
84
00:04:19,517 --> 00:04:21,128
- Emergency message
from headquarters.
85
00:04:23,434 --> 00:04:24,435
- Bad news?
86
00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:27,612
- The Gestapo's got a drive on.
87
00:04:27,786 --> 00:04:30,746
They're picking up agents
from all over the area.
88
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:31,747
- Anyone we know?
89
00:04:37,056 --> 00:04:39,189
- Come on, I only
need one card for Gin.
90
00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:40,451
- I know that, mate.
91
00:04:43,541 --> 00:04:46,022
Well, you're
not getting that.
92
00:04:47,458 --> 00:04:48,546
I'll go to my grave
with this one.
93
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:52,333
- Gin.
94
00:04:52,507 --> 00:04:54,073
- How are you saving tens?
95
00:04:54,248 --> 00:04:55,031
- That's what I
thought you thought.
96
00:04:55,205 --> 00:04:57,729
Just add up your points.
97
00:05:02,212 --> 00:05:03,213
- 35.
98
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:04,736
- That's a three-way blitz.
99
00:05:04,910 --> 00:05:06,434
- I should have gone
out with LeBeau.
100
00:05:06,608 --> 00:05:07,522
- I don't think so.
101
00:05:07,696 --> 00:05:09,088
- Something wrong, sir?
102
00:05:09,263 --> 00:05:10,612
- We just got a radio
message from London.
103
00:05:10,786 --> 00:05:12,527
One of our resistance
units, Wooden Shoes,
104
00:05:12,701 --> 00:05:14,398
got picked up by the Gestapo.
105
00:05:14,572 --> 00:05:15,791
- Yeah, they must have gotten
106
00:05:15,965 --> 00:05:17,271
the information
about Wilhelmina.
107
00:05:17,445 --> 00:05:19,098
They could've picked her
and LeBeau up by now.
108
00:05:20,012 --> 00:05:21,623
- He's been gone all day.
109
00:05:21,797 --> 00:05:23,538
- And you know he delivers
a message to the old lady
110
00:05:23,712 --> 00:05:25,975
and gets out of that
apartment as fast as he can.
111
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,239
- The patrol has just gone
around the corner, LeBeau.
112
00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:31,633
This would be a good
time for you to leave.
113
00:05:31,807 --> 00:05:33,461
- But I just got here.
114
00:05:33,635 --> 00:05:35,376
- You've been here since
morning and it's almost dark.
115
00:05:35,550 --> 00:05:36,681
Now please go.
116
00:05:37,247 --> 00:05:39,728
- Oh, there is something
I have to ask you.
117
00:05:39,902 --> 00:05:41,164
- What is it?
118
00:05:41,338 --> 00:05:43,035
- Is the story true
about a little Dutch boy
119
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:45,429
who put his finger in a dike?
- If I didn't believe that,
120
00:05:45,603 --> 00:05:46,865
I wouldn't be in
the underground.
121
00:05:47,039 --> 00:05:48,606
Now go, you'll miss
your roll call.
122
00:05:48,780 --> 00:05:50,347
- Somebody will cover for me.
123
00:05:50,521 --> 00:05:52,610
- Unlike the Gestapo, who stops
everybody for questioning.
124
00:05:52,784 --> 00:05:54,090
- I will avoid them.
125
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:56,571
- LeBeau, in a few moments
126
00:05:56,745 --> 00:05:58,312
the restaurant below
starts cooking dinner.
127
00:05:58,486 --> 00:06:01,619
I'll go.
128
00:06:01,793 --> 00:06:03,230
- And thank you again.
129
00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:04,927
The information on
the troop movements
130
00:06:05,101 --> 00:06:07,234
means so much to those
who fight for our cause.
131
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:08,235
- I understand.
132
00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:18,810
I like you, Wilhelmina.
133
00:06:18,984 --> 00:06:20,899
- And I like you, LeBeau.
134
00:06:21,073 --> 00:06:23,728
- Do you like me for myself
or my troop movements?
135
00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:25,774
- What do you think?
136
00:06:33,782 --> 00:06:35,262
- I don't know about
the rest of you guys,
137
00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:36,828
but I feel like a heel.
138
00:06:37,002 --> 00:06:39,266
After all these weeks
on that assignment,
139
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,572
LeBeau was bound to
be pressing his luck.
140
00:06:41,746 --> 00:06:43,357
- I feel rotten, too.
141
00:06:43,531 --> 00:06:45,141
If he'd said Wilhelmina
was a young blonde,
142
00:06:45,315 --> 00:06:47,491
we'd all broken our
backs to go out.
143
00:06:47,665 --> 00:06:49,232
- I'd have gone to meet
her with a Union Jack
144
00:06:49,406 --> 00:06:51,190
singing "God save the King".
145
00:06:51,365 --> 00:06:53,236
- Look, you've all taken
your share of risks.
146
00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:54,933
Stop feeling guilty.
147
00:06:55,107 --> 00:06:56,500
- I'll tell you one thing.
If he ever gets back,
148
00:06:56,674 --> 00:06:58,676
I'll never let him go
see that old crow again.
149
00:06:58,850 --> 00:07:00,243
- That goes for me, too.
150
00:07:00,417 --> 00:07:02,158
- Sir, you can add
my name to the list.
151
00:07:02,332 --> 00:07:03,768
Hold.
152
00:07:04,943 --> 00:07:06,641
- LeBeau!
- Hi, come on, man!
153
00:07:06,815 --> 00:07:08,164
- Louie, what have
you been doing?
154
00:07:08,338 --> 00:07:09,948
- Mon ami, we were
all worried about ya.
155
00:07:10,122 --> 00:07:10,949
- What happened?
156
00:07:12,124 --> 00:07:13,212
- What were you
all worried about?
157
00:07:13,387 --> 00:07:14,692
The Gestapo would never get me!
158
00:07:14,866 --> 00:07:15,867
- What are you shouting for?
159
00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:17,608
- Oh, I'm sorry, Colonel.
160
00:07:17,782 --> 00:07:19,567
You see, I'm so used to
yelling at that old lady.
161
00:07:19,741 --> 00:07:21,264
She's hard of hearing, you know.
162
00:07:21,438 --> 00:07:22,526
- You're not gonna be
yelling at her any longer.
163
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:24,311
- What do you mean?
164
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:25,834
- The Gestapo picked up one
of the underground units
165
00:07:26,008 --> 00:07:27,096
that she's worked with.
166
00:07:28,184 --> 00:07:30,926
- One way or another, they
usually find the radio.
167
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:32,188
- Where are you going?
168
00:07:32,362 --> 00:07:33,885
- To save her!
169
00:07:34,059 --> 00:07:35,278
- Forget it, they probably
picked her up already.
170
00:07:35,452 --> 00:07:37,193
- But I've gotta try!
- No deal!
171
00:07:37,367 --> 00:07:38,412
The whole town will
be filled of Krauts
172
00:07:38,586 --> 00:07:40,327
looking for the apartment.
173
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:42,546
- But we can't turn our
backs on that old lady.
174
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,069
With her rheumatism,
175
00:07:44,243 --> 00:07:46,333
she couldn't make
it down the stairs.
176
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,944
With her bad eyes, she
couldn't see the Gestapo.
177
00:07:49,118 --> 00:07:50,685
And when they told her to halt,
178
00:07:50,859 --> 00:07:52,643
she wouldn't hear them,
and they would shoot her.
179
00:07:52,817 --> 00:07:54,863
- But you're getting captured
isn't gonna help her.
180
00:07:55,037 --> 00:07:56,430
So forget it.
181
00:08:00,085 --> 00:08:02,087
Nobody leaves camp,
including you.
182
00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:04,263
- Yes, sir.
183
00:09:22,690 --> 00:09:24,082
- He's not in any
of the tunnels.
184
00:09:25,475 --> 00:09:26,998
- I couldn't find
him anywhere, sir.
185
00:09:27,172 --> 00:09:28,522
- Neither could I.
186
00:09:28,696 --> 00:09:29,958
- You sure you
looked everywhere?
187
00:09:30,132 --> 00:09:31,568
- Can only mean one thing.
188
00:09:31,742 --> 00:09:33,178
He sneaked out to help
that little old lady.
189
00:09:33,352 --> 00:09:35,093
- Yeah, he's a good
hearted little guy.
190
00:09:35,267 --> 00:09:37,052
- Sure, and if he's caught,
he blows our whole operation.
191
00:09:37,226 --> 00:09:38,445
- You want us to go
after him, Colonel?
192
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:39,968
- Not with the
Gestapo everywhere.
193
00:09:40,142 --> 00:09:42,013
- What do we do sir?
- In time of trouble,
194
00:09:42,187 --> 00:09:43,841
there's always one
man I can turn to.
195
00:09:44,015 --> 00:09:45,321
- Who's that?
196
00:09:45,495 --> 00:09:46,757
- Klink!
197
00:09:46,931 --> 00:09:49,456
- Raus, everybody
raus, roll call!
198
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,979
Colonel Hogan, roll
call, everybody raus!
199
00:09:51,153 --> 00:09:52,546
- Yeah, roll call, Schultz,
200
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:53,938
everybody's here but
LeBeau, he's escaped.
201
00:09:54,112 --> 00:09:55,853
- I'm not interested in rumor.
202
00:09:56,027 --> 00:09:57,376
- I'm telling you,
Schultz, he's gone.
203
00:09:57,551 --> 00:10:00,162
- There's no escape
from Stalag 13.
204
00:10:00,336 --> 00:10:02,556
That's an order by
Kommandant Klink.
205
00:10:02,730 --> 00:10:04,514
Now raus, raus, everybody!
206
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,603
- Okay, Schultz., have your
roll call, see for yourself.
207
00:10:06,777 --> 00:10:10,694
- I see nothing, now raus,
raus, raus, raus, raus, raus!
208
00:10:10,868 --> 00:10:12,348
Come on, mach schnell!
209
00:10:12,522 --> 00:10:13,654
Raus, everybody!
210
00:10:13,828 --> 00:10:15,656
Now, come on, roll call!
211
00:10:15,830 --> 00:10:17,266
What's the matter
with you, roll call!
212
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:18,310
Okay!
213
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,182
So, everybody roll call!
214
00:10:20,356 --> 00:10:21,879
Stand at attention,
you understand?
215
00:10:24,012 --> 00:10:25,753
- Okay, Schultz,
have your roll call.
216
00:10:25,927 --> 00:10:27,711
- I don't have to,
everybody's here.
217
00:10:27,885 --> 00:10:29,844
- I demand you have a roll call.
218
00:10:30,018 --> 00:10:31,367
- I don't have to.
219
00:10:31,541 --> 00:10:32,934
- Under the Geneva Convention,
220
00:10:33,108 --> 00:10:35,066
you've gotta have a
roll call every day.
221
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:36,764
- All right, Hogan?
- Here.
222
00:10:36,938 --> 00:10:37,808
- Newkirk?
- Here!
223
00:10:37,982 --> 00:10:38,766
- Carter?
- Here.
224
00:10:38,940 --> 00:10:40,594
- LeBeau, here, Kinch?
225
00:10:40,768 --> 00:10:43,161
- Wait a minute,
Schultz, I heard that.
226
00:10:43,335 --> 00:10:46,251
- Repoooooooooort!
227
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:50,342
- Herr Kommandant, all
present and accounted for.
228
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,562
- Dismissed.
229
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:55,130
- Diss-
- Just a minute, Kommandant.
230
00:10:55,304 --> 00:10:56,261
One of my men is missing.
231
00:10:56,435 --> 00:10:57,785
- Missing from what?
232
00:10:57,959 --> 00:10:59,700
- Stalag 13, he's escaped.
233
00:10:59,874 --> 00:11:01,440
- Schultz, didn't you
say that all the men
234
00:11:01,615 --> 00:11:03,007
were present and accounted for?
235
00:11:03,181 --> 00:11:05,357
Herr Kommandant, will
you take the word
236
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,708
of an irresponsible
American prisoner
237
00:11:07,882 --> 00:11:11,320
or the word of one of
your most trustworthy,
238
00:11:11,494 --> 00:11:14,323
loyal, and efficient sergeants?
239
00:11:15,846 --> 00:11:18,414
- If you're smart, Schultz,
you'll rephrase the question.
240
00:11:18,588 --> 00:11:19,981
- Hogan, which one of
your men is missing?
241
00:11:20,155 --> 00:11:21,722
- LeBeau.
242
00:11:21,896 --> 00:11:24,551
- Oh, Herr Kommandant,
please do not listen to him.
243
00:11:26,465 --> 00:11:28,206
- LeBeau?
- Here.
244
00:11:29,164 --> 00:11:31,166
- When I just called
LeBeau, did you say here?
245
00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:33,342
- Oh, did you call
LeBeau, Herr Kommandant?
246
00:11:33,516 --> 00:11:35,953
I thought you were
calling Schultz.
247
00:11:36,127 --> 00:11:36,954
- Just gotta a face
it, Kommandant,
248
00:11:37,128 --> 00:11:38,390
LeBeau has escaped.
249
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,001
- Don't use that
word in my presence!
250
00:11:40,175 --> 00:11:41,524
Did you check to the
delousing station?
251
00:11:41,698 --> 00:11:44,353
- Oh, a very good
idea, Herr Kommandant!
252
00:11:44,527 --> 00:11:46,268
- Forget it, you'll never
find him in this camp.
253
00:11:46,442 --> 00:11:47,443
- Schultz!
- Here!
254
00:11:47,617 --> 00:11:49,750
- Dummkopf, I know you are here.
255
00:11:49,924 --> 00:11:51,447
Sound the alarm,
release the dogs.
256
00:11:51,621 --> 00:11:52,970
- Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!
257
00:11:53,144 --> 00:11:54,798
LeBeau will not
get away with this.
258
00:11:54,972 --> 00:11:57,235
When he's captured, he will
get 60 days in the cooler!
259
00:11:57,409 --> 00:12:01,457
Dismissed!
260
00:12:09,204 --> 00:12:10,945
- Why'd you turn
him in, Colonel?
261
00:12:11,119 --> 00:12:14,252
- So Klink could capture him
instead of the Gestapo, right?
262
00:12:14,426 --> 00:12:15,819
- Right.
263
00:12:15,993 --> 00:12:16,864
- He needs a bloodhound
to find a camp,
264
00:12:17,038 --> 00:12:18,779
he'll never capture LeBeau.
265
00:12:18,953 --> 00:12:20,519
- That's why we're
gonna help him.
266
00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,526
- And you mean to tell me
267
00:12:27,701 --> 00:12:29,659
that in two hours you didn't
find a trace of that prisoner?
268
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:32,009
Sir, I assure you,
I've already taken
269
00:12:32,183 --> 00:12:34,316
some very drastic action.
270
00:12:34,490 --> 00:12:36,666
All right, read me
back that letter.
271
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:37,972
- To General Burkhalter.
272
00:12:38,146 --> 00:12:40,452
Subject, personnel replacement.
273
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:41,845
Dear General...
274
00:12:42,019 --> 00:12:43,412
That's as far as you got, sir.
- Right.
275
00:12:43,586 --> 00:12:46,197
Dear General, this
is an urgent request
276
00:12:46,371 --> 00:12:49,113
to replace four members
of my camp personnel.
277
00:12:49,287 --> 00:12:51,333
They're Wolfgang,
Heidi, Hans, and Gertel,
278
00:12:51,507 --> 00:12:53,248
our German Shepherd guard dogs.
279
00:12:53,422 --> 00:12:57,426
They have become lazy,
inefficient, and vicious.
280
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,602
- I thought they were
supposed to be vicious?
281
00:12:59,776 --> 00:13:01,256
- Not to me.
282
00:13:01,430 --> 00:13:04,259
- Dogs and kids are great
judges of character.
283
00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:05,913
- Hogan, I am not amused.
284
00:13:06,087 --> 00:13:08,742
My sense of humor left
with LeBeau, dismissed.
285
00:13:08,916 --> 00:13:10,265
My kindness regards
to Frau Burkhalter,
286
00:13:10,439 --> 00:13:11,179
et cetera, et cetera.
287
00:13:11,353 --> 00:13:12,223
Heil Hitler.
288
00:13:14,182 --> 00:13:15,618
- Would you like me to send
289
00:13:15,792 --> 00:13:17,446
the daily prisoner roll
call with this, sir?
290
00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:20,101
- Not until I recapture the
prisoner who did not escape.
291
00:13:26,542 --> 00:13:28,196
Hogan, I said dismissed!
292
00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:29,371
- Okay, I just
dropped by to tell you
293
00:13:29,545 --> 00:13:31,155
where LeBeau's hiding.
294
00:13:31,329 --> 00:13:33,244
- The day you tell me where
one of your prisoners is hiding
295
00:13:33,418 --> 00:13:35,812
is the day you send a
birthday gift to Goering.
296
00:13:35,986 --> 00:13:39,729
- Ask Herman who sent
him the girdle last year.
297
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:42,210
- Out, out, out!
298
00:13:42,384 --> 00:13:44,038
- Hey, I just hope the
Gestapo doesn't get into this.
299
00:13:44,212 --> 00:13:45,474
If Major Hochstetter has
to recapture your prisoner,
300
00:13:45,648 --> 00:13:46,910
you'll never hear the end of it.
301
00:13:47,084 --> 00:13:48,477
- Why would Major
Hochstetter's men
302
00:13:48,651 --> 00:13:49,913
find LeBeau before my men?
303
00:13:50,087 --> 00:13:51,436
- His dogs are smarter.
304
00:13:51,610 --> 00:13:52,655
They use Belgian Shepherds.
305
00:13:52,829 --> 00:13:54,570
You used German.
306
00:13:54,744 --> 00:13:57,181
- The German Shepherd dog as
the smartest dog in the world.
307
00:13:57,355 --> 00:13:59,401
- They couldn't
find the mess hall.
308
00:14:00,576 --> 00:14:02,534
But I can find LeBeau for you.
309
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:05,146
- Hogan, why are you
being so helpful?
310
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,321
- Because I don't
want Major Hochstetter
311
00:14:06,495 --> 00:14:08,192
and the Gestapo to get him.
312
00:14:08,366 --> 00:14:09,324
- All right.
313
00:14:11,543 --> 00:14:13,154
Where's the prisoner hiding?
- Not so fast.
314
00:14:13,328 --> 00:14:14,677
- I knew there
was a catch to it.
315
00:14:14,851 --> 00:14:16,026
- There's no catch,
just a simple deal.
316
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,811
You take Newkirk,
Carter, and me with you,
317
00:14:17,985 --> 00:14:19,638
and we'll show you where
to find the prisoner.
318
00:14:19,813 --> 00:14:21,336
- You call that a simple deal?
319
00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:23,773
- We don't want your
trigger-happy guards to get 'em.
320
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,166
- And what if I refuse?
321
00:14:25,340 --> 00:14:26,950
- Then the Gestapo
picks up LeBeau,
322
00:14:27,124 --> 00:14:28,735
your escape-proof
record is ruined,
323
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:31,172
Loudmouth Hochstetter
spreads it all over Berlin,
324
00:14:31,346 --> 00:14:33,652
and you are standing on
a corner in Stalingrad
325
00:14:33,827 --> 00:14:35,959
thumbing through a
Russian-German dictionary.
326
00:14:40,616 --> 00:14:43,227
- For the last time,
Schultzie, open that door.
327
00:14:43,401 --> 00:14:44,751
- You heard him, Schultz.
328
00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,361
Colonel Hogan said
we're going downtown.
329
00:14:46,535 --> 00:14:48,363
- I do not take any
orders from Colonel Hogan!
330
00:14:48,537 --> 00:14:49,799
- Open the door, Schultz.
331
00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,236
Jawohl, Colonel!
332
00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:53,977
- Colonel Hogan, wait a minute!
333
00:14:54,151 --> 00:14:56,327
Colonel Hogan, Kommandant Klink!
334
00:14:56,501 --> 00:14:58,765
- Nevermind, Schultz, just get
in the car and start driving.
335
00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:01,593
- Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!
336
00:15:05,510 --> 00:15:07,774
- Schultz!
337
00:15:11,038 --> 00:15:13,127
- Wilhelmina
calling Wooden Shoe.
338
00:15:13,301 --> 00:15:14,737
Wilhelmina calling Wooden Shoe.
339
00:15:14,911 --> 00:15:16,739
Come in please, Wooden Shoe.
340
00:15:20,525 --> 00:15:22,440
- Now will you leave?
- I can't.
341
00:15:22,614 --> 00:15:24,616
- I told you the Gestapo
has picked them up.
342
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:26,314
They are sure to
be looking for you.
343
00:15:26,488 --> 00:15:27,968
- I must remain here.
344
00:15:28,142 --> 00:15:30,361
My other contact
Windmill needs me.
345
00:15:30,535 --> 00:15:32,189
- They don't need you dead.
346
00:15:33,756 --> 00:15:35,366
- Wilhelmina
calling Wooden Shoe,
347
00:15:35,540 --> 00:15:37,891
come in please, Wooden Shoe?
348
00:15:38,065 --> 00:15:40,458
- There are still no soldiers
around this building.
349
00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:42,460
Come.
350
00:15:42,634 --> 00:15:44,419
- I am not going.
351
00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:47,161
- If your contacts knew
you were in danger,
352
00:15:47,335 --> 00:15:48,640
they would want you to leave.
353
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:50,468
- Please, LeBeau, you go.
354
00:15:50,642 --> 00:15:53,080
- No, if you stay, I stay.
355
00:15:54,690 --> 00:15:56,823
- But why would
you want to stay?
356
00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:58,215
- Don't you know by now?
357
00:16:01,305 --> 00:16:03,699
- If you want me to go, I'll go.
358
00:16:07,964 --> 00:16:09,531
- All right,
Schultz, here it is.
359
00:16:10,619 --> 00:16:11,620
My deal with Klink is
for you to stay here.
360
00:16:11,794 --> 00:16:12,708
We'll bring him out.
361
00:16:12,882 --> 00:16:13,883
- Jawohl, Colonel Hogan.
362
00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:26,504
- That poor lady
died this morning
363
00:16:26,678 --> 00:16:27,984
and this is her replacement.
364
00:16:29,638 --> 00:16:30,944
- Sorry to hear that.
365
00:16:31,118 --> 00:16:32,467
- We've been had, mates.
366
00:16:32,641 --> 00:16:33,947
- Boy, have we been had!
367
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:36,471
- Gotta hand it to you, LeBeau,
368
00:16:36,645 --> 00:16:39,256
it's the greatest snow
job since Mount Everest.
369
00:16:40,997 --> 00:16:42,259
- Hi, I'm Colonel Hogan.
370
00:16:42,433 --> 00:16:43,434
- Hello, I'm Wilhelmina.
371
00:16:43,608 --> 00:16:45,349
- Junior.
372
00:16:45,523 --> 00:16:47,134
- I guess you probably won't
be needing this ear trumpet.
373
00:16:47,308 --> 00:16:49,745
- No, or this shawl or cane,
throw 'em out the window.
374
00:16:50,398 --> 00:16:53,009
- I don't understand,
you brought that for me?
375
00:16:53,183 --> 00:16:55,751
- From LeBeau's description,
we expected a little old lady.
376
00:16:55,925 --> 00:16:59,233
Well, when you're five foot
three, you can't take chances.
377
00:17:00,495 --> 00:17:02,845
- Funny, I always thought
you were six foot three.
378
00:17:03,802 --> 00:17:06,718
- We don't get out of here,
we'll all be three foot six.
379
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,459
- Do you have a plan to
get her out, Colonel?
380
00:17:08,633 --> 00:17:11,201
- We have to get her to the
flower shop on the Bundesplatz.
381
00:17:11,375 --> 00:17:12,942
The underground will
take it from there.
382
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,335
- That's if you can
get down the stairs
383
00:17:14,509 --> 00:17:16,119
with your rheumatism.
- Newkirk...
384
00:17:16,293 --> 00:17:19,079
- Hey, LeBeau, you've known
Wilhelmina the longest,
385
00:17:19,253 --> 00:17:21,385
so you can be the
last kiss her goodbye,
386
00:17:21,559 --> 00:17:22,909
and I shall be the first.
387
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,736
- Hold it!
- What's the matter, Colonel?
388
00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:31,961
- Hochstetter just arrived.
389
00:17:35,573 --> 00:17:36,444
- Oh...
390
00:17:38,054 --> 00:17:39,534
- Do you think he
spotted this house?
391
00:17:39,708 --> 00:17:41,144
- He should, he's brought
every tracking device
392
00:17:41,318 --> 00:17:42,624
but an Apache scout.
393
00:17:44,974 --> 00:17:46,410
- Who is Hochstetter?
394
00:17:46,584 --> 00:17:49,109
- Your friendly
neighborhood Gestapo dealer.
395
00:17:49,283 --> 00:17:50,588
- Is he sending his men up?
396
00:17:50,762 --> 00:17:52,590
- Not yet. Klink's giving
him a bad time.
397
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,856
- Atta boy, way to go, Klink.
398
00:17:58,031 --> 00:18:00,120
- Let's hear it for
our favorite Kraut!
399
00:18:00,294 --> 00:18:02,687
- Maybe we could leg it out
the back of the building.
400
00:18:03,601 --> 00:18:04,689
- No.
401
00:18:05,516 --> 00:18:07,475
We came in through
the front door.
402
00:18:07,649 --> 00:18:09,390
We'll go out through
the front door.
403
00:18:10,869 --> 00:18:12,262
- Stand aside, Klink.
404
00:18:12,436 --> 00:18:14,351
My men are going to
search this house!
405
00:18:14,525 --> 00:18:15,874
- Major Hochstetter,
that won't be necessary.
406
00:18:16,049 --> 00:18:17,789
The prisoner will be brought out
407
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:21,619
by my efficient, trusted,
and dependable sergeant.
408
00:18:21,793 --> 00:18:24,709
- Oh, I didn't know they sent
a replacement for Schultz?
409
00:18:24,883 --> 00:18:26,363
- Oh, they haven't!
410
00:18:26,537 --> 00:18:27,190
Sergeant Schultz is
perfectly capable of...
411
00:18:28,626 --> 00:18:30,019
Are those Belgian Shepherd dogs?
412
00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:31,586
- Of course.
413
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,196
- May I ask where you
them, Major Hochstetter?
414
00:18:33,370 --> 00:18:35,111
- Never mind the dogs now,
Klink.
415
00:18:35,285 --> 00:18:37,070
There is a radio operator
for the underground
416
00:18:37,244 --> 00:18:38,854
hiding in this house.
417
00:18:39,028 --> 00:18:41,422
- Major Hochstetter, the
underground is your problem
418
00:18:41,596 --> 00:18:43,380
and the escaped
prisoner is my problem.
419
00:18:43,554 --> 00:18:47,471
- Don't tell me what
is Gestapo business!
420
00:18:47,645 --> 00:18:49,560
- Would you mind lowering
your voice, Major?
421
00:18:49,734 --> 00:18:51,301
You're gonna bring the
property values down
422
00:18:51,475 --> 00:18:53,173
in the neighborhood.
- What is this man doing here?
423
00:18:53,347 --> 00:18:54,435
- See, Major Hochstetter?
424
00:18:54,609 --> 00:18:56,176
The prisoners here
425
00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:58,091
and my efficient, trusted,
and dependable sergeant.
426
00:18:58,265 --> 00:18:59,744
- Where? Where?
427
00:18:59,918 --> 00:19:01,442
- If you would run your
camp properly, Klink,
428
00:19:01,616 --> 00:19:03,792
he would never have
escaped in the first place.
429
00:19:03,966 --> 00:19:05,446
- Can you fellas finish
this discussion later?
430
00:19:05,620 --> 00:19:07,361
We're dying to get back to camp.
431
00:19:07,535 --> 00:19:10,146
- What is this man doing here?
432
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:11,669
- Major Hochstetter,
I assure you that-
433
00:19:11,843 --> 00:19:13,671
- Klink, you have
delayed me long enough.
434
00:19:13,845 --> 00:19:15,195
We are going to
search this building.
435
00:19:15,369 --> 00:19:17,023
- For what?
436
00:19:17,197 --> 00:19:19,199
- He thinks that there's an
underground contact here.
437
00:19:19,373 --> 00:19:21,070
- Well, we didn't see anybody.
438
00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:22,245
- You see? I told you so.
439
00:19:22,419 --> 00:19:24,117
- What is this man doing here!
440
00:19:24,291 --> 00:19:25,640
- You're shouting again?
441
00:19:25,814 --> 00:19:27,598
Somebody's gonna call a cop.
442
00:19:27,772 --> 00:19:29,383
- You don't have to take
Colonel Hogan's word, sir.
443
00:19:29,557 --> 00:19:30,688
Ask her.
444
00:19:34,823 --> 00:19:36,433
- Excuse me, Fraulein,
445
00:19:36,607 --> 00:19:38,609
but have you seen anyone
suspicious in this building?
446
00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:43,919
- What is it you say, young man?
447
00:19:44,093 --> 00:19:45,834
Speak right in there.
448
00:19:47,140 --> 00:19:48,793
- Excuse me, Fraulein,
449
00:19:48,967 --> 00:19:52,493
but did you see anyone
suspicious in this building?
450
00:19:52,667 --> 00:19:56,149
- Jawohl, in the
apartment number five.
451
00:19:57,193 --> 00:19:58,194
- Five, come, come!
452
00:20:01,850 --> 00:20:03,895
- All right, everyone
into the car.
453
00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:06,594
- Just a minute, Colonel.
454
00:20:06,768 --> 00:20:07,986
- Hogan, what is it?
455
00:20:08,161 --> 00:20:10,119
- Fraulein, may we
give you a lift?
456
00:20:12,774 --> 00:20:14,254
May we give you a lift?
457
00:20:14,428 --> 00:20:16,778
- Danke schon, that
would be very nice.
458
00:20:16,952 --> 00:20:17,953
I go to the Bundesplatz.
459
00:20:18,127 --> 00:20:19,781
- Oh, it's right on our way.
460
00:20:19,955 --> 00:20:22,523
- Hogan, you should not
have invited that old lady.
461
00:20:22,697 --> 00:20:24,394
- You can speak up,
she's as deaf as a post.
462
00:20:24,568 --> 00:20:26,179
- Hogan, you should not
have invited that old lady.
463
00:20:26,353 --> 00:20:27,789
- That's not very nice, Colonel.
464
00:20:27,963 --> 00:20:29,660
She's doing her part
for the war effort.
465
00:20:29,834 --> 00:20:31,967
Working at the canteen,
selling donuts and coffee,
466
00:20:32,141 --> 00:20:33,447
dancing with the troops.
467
00:20:33,621 --> 00:20:35,275
- Hogan, you're impossible!
468
00:20:35,449 --> 00:20:37,146
- Better hurry, sir, I
don't wanna miss roll call.
469
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:38,800
- You get in first, Newkirk,
and I'll sit on your lap.
470
00:20:38,974 --> 00:20:40,628
- Ah, come on, you weigh
a ton, you get in first.
471
00:20:40,802 --> 00:20:42,238
- I think we should
get in first.
472
00:20:42,412 --> 00:20:43,413
- LeBeau's right.
473
00:20:43,587 --> 00:20:44,719
- I will decide where you sit.
474
00:20:44,893 --> 00:20:46,068
Newkirk, in.
- Yes.
475
00:20:46,242 --> 00:20:48,114
- Carter on his lap.
- Right.
476
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:52,466
Then Hogan, then LeBeau,
and then this old lady.
477
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:53,641
Now let's go.
478
00:20:57,035 --> 00:20:58,211
- All set back here, Schultz.
479
00:21:00,387 --> 00:21:02,954
Schultz!
480
00:21:37,206 --> 00:21:38,642
- Bet you haven't seen
too many prisoners
481
00:21:38,816 --> 00:21:40,253
kissing little old German
ladies, Kommandant.
482
00:21:40,427 --> 00:21:41,384
- No.
483
00:21:55,485 --> 00:21:56,704
You know something,
484
00:21:56,878 --> 00:21:59,228
LeBeau is really
quite sentimental.
485
00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:00,621
So am I.
486
00:22:01,578 --> 00:22:03,624
I'm not gonna give him
60 days in the cooler.
487
00:22:03,798 --> 00:22:04,799
- You're not?
488
00:22:04,973 --> 00:22:06,192
- 30 days is enough.
489
00:22:07,323 --> 00:22:09,978
- Colonel, you've got a heart
as big as the whole Reichstag.
490
00:22:22,860 --> 00:22:23,731
- Gin.
491
00:22:25,254 --> 00:22:26,212
Right again.
492
00:22:32,522 --> 00:22:33,741
Hey,
good news, LeBeau.
493
00:22:33,915 --> 00:22:35,830
- What's that?
- Message from London.
494
00:22:36,004 --> 00:22:37,223
The old crow is safe
and sends her love.
495
00:22:37,397 --> 00:22:38,615
- Hey, thank you, Kinch.
496
00:22:38,789 --> 00:22:40,443
Dinner's on me
tonight, gentlemen.
497
00:22:40,617 --> 00:22:41,792
- That's the name and address
of the new underground contact.
498
00:22:41,966 --> 00:22:43,490
- Juliana.
499
00:22:43,664 --> 00:22:45,405
Sounds like another doll.
500
00:22:45,579 --> 00:22:46,710
Who wants to volunteer?
501
00:22:46,884 --> 00:22:48,408
Not you, LeBeau.
502
00:22:48,582 --> 00:22:50,236
Newkirk, how about you?
503
00:22:50,410 --> 00:22:52,063
- If you don't mind,
sir, I'll pass.
504
00:22:52,238 --> 00:22:54,631
Lightning seldom strikes
twice in the same place.
505
00:22:55,893 --> 00:22:57,417
- Carter, you wanna
take a chance?
506
00:22:57,591 --> 00:22:59,723
- I've always had bad
luck on blind dates, sir.
507
00:23:01,464 --> 00:23:02,987
- No, no, not me, thanks.
508
00:23:04,380 --> 00:23:05,773
- Well, somebody's gotta go.
509
00:23:29,275 --> 00:23:30,928
- Juliana?
- Yeah.
510
00:23:36,194 --> 00:23:37,805
- They're never
gonna believe me.
511
00:23:44,507 --> 00:23:45,726
- Well, well, well.
512
00:23:45,900 --> 00:23:47,118
- Back already!
513
00:23:48,337 --> 00:23:51,209
- Now the conqueror hero comes!
514
00:23:51,384 --> 00:23:53,342
Well sir, what was she like?
515
00:23:59,348 --> 00:24:04,135
- Do the numbers 38, 26,
36 mean anything to you?
516
00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:05,136
- Oh sure.
517
00:24:06,921 --> 00:24:08,226
Sorry Colonel, I'm not
gonna be fooled again.
518
00:24:08,401 --> 00:24:10,011
I still pass.
519
00:24:10,185 --> 00:24:12,448
- Yes sir, I'm afraid you
are still stuck with her.
520
00:24:13,928 --> 00:24:15,408
- Have to get up pretty
early in the morning
521
00:24:15,582 --> 00:24:16,974
to fool you guys.
38220
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