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1
00:00:57,446 --> 00:00:59,274
- Everybody back,
back, back, back.
2
00:00:59,448 --> 00:01:00,797
- Hey, give me that ball.
- Everybody back!
3
00:01:00,971 --> 00:01:02,930
- Now just a minute.
Look, we got our rights.
4
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:04,714
The Geneva Convention says
we're supposed to have
5
00:01:04,888 --> 00:01:06,934
one hour a day exercise.
6
00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:09,458
We haven't been out here
more than 20 minutes.
7
00:01:09,632 --> 00:01:11,939
- Kommandant's orders,
everybody inside.
8
00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:14,332
Now, back, back, back,
back, back, back.
9
00:01:14,506 --> 00:01:16,247
- If I don't give my exercise,
10
00:01:16,421 --> 00:01:18,119
I'm gonna wind up looking
like a big tub of lard.
11
00:01:18,293 --> 00:01:20,860
- Now, Carter, that's
in very bad taste.
12
00:01:21,035 --> 00:01:22,297
- What'd I say?
13
00:01:22,471 --> 00:01:24,603
- I don't see
anything in bad taste.
14
00:01:24,777 --> 00:01:26,431
- Now, Schultz
knows you mean him.
15
00:01:26,605 --> 00:01:28,956
That's in very bad taste.
16
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,044
- I didn't-
17
00:01:30,218 --> 00:01:31,523
- What's going on, Schultz?
18
00:01:31,697 --> 00:01:33,047
- I have my orders.
Everybody inside.
19
00:01:33,221 --> 00:01:34,396
- Why don't you
tell us why, Schulz?
20
00:01:34,570 --> 00:01:37,790
- I know nothing. Nothing.
21
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,531
- You're wasting
your time, Newkirk,
22
00:01:39,705 --> 00:01:41,707
Klink doesn't tell Schultz
any important information.
23
00:01:41,881 --> 00:01:45,407
- Ah, ha, ha, ha, you
think he didn't tell me
24
00:01:45,581 --> 00:01:47,975
that the Gestapo is
around the camp, huh?
25
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,715
You're crazy.
26
00:01:49,889 --> 00:01:50,847
- Possible.
27
00:01:51,021 --> 00:01:52,588
- Why the Gestapo, Schultz?
28
00:01:52,762 --> 00:01:55,069
- That I do not know, and
that even Kommandant Klink
29
00:01:55,243 --> 00:01:56,331
does not know.
30
00:01:56,505 --> 00:01:58,420
Now everybody inside. March.
31
00:01:58,594 --> 00:01:59,725
Everybody inside. Inside.
32
00:01:59,899 --> 00:02:01,379
- All right, all right.
33
00:02:01,553 --> 00:02:03,599
Hey, Schultz, a little
something from the boys.
34
00:02:06,341 --> 00:02:08,299
- What do you think's
going on, Colonel?
35
00:02:08,473 --> 00:02:10,171
I don't know,
36
00:02:10,345 --> 00:02:11,694
but this isn't a good time
for a visit from the Gestapo.
37
00:02:11,868 --> 00:02:14,218
- Is it ever a good time
for a visit from them?
38
00:02:14,392 --> 00:02:15,872
- You know, Kinch and
LeBeau ought to have
39
00:02:16,046 --> 00:02:17,482
made contact with the
British spy by now.
40
00:02:17,656 --> 00:02:19,310
- Yeah, let's check the tunnel.
41
00:02:19,484 --> 00:02:20,224
If they're not back in 10
minutes, we try a diversion.
42
00:02:23,923 --> 00:02:26,361
- I'd say this is a
bit of a sticky wicket.
43
00:02:26,535 --> 00:02:27,753
- What's a sticky wicket?
44
00:02:28,928 --> 00:02:31,453
- It's the British version of
up the creek without a paddle.
45
00:03:13,625 --> 00:03:15,062
- Hi, Colonel Hogan.
46
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:16,193
- Downes is my name.
Christopher Downes.
47
00:03:16,367 --> 00:03:17,673
- This is Carter and Newkirk.
48
00:03:17,847 --> 00:03:19,066
- Glad to know you.
- How are ya?
49
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,284
- LeBeau and Kinchloe.
50
00:03:20,458 --> 00:03:21,720
- Yes, I've met them.
51
00:03:21,894 --> 00:03:23,331
It's a rather
smashing idea you have
52
00:03:23,505 --> 00:03:25,115
for getting people into
your camp, Colonel.
53
00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:27,335
- Getting you in was a lot
easier than getting you out.
54
00:03:27,509 --> 00:03:28,988
- But I was told that
wouldn't be much of a problem.
55
00:03:29,163 --> 00:03:30,860
- Ordinarily, it wouldn't be,
56
00:03:31,034 --> 00:03:32,427
but it looks like you brought
half the Gestapo with you.
57
00:03:32,601 --> 00:03:34,037
- I'm afraid I had no choice.
58
00:03:34,211 --> 00:03:35,734
Berlin headquarters was
getting very suspicious,
59
00:03:35,908 --> 00:03:37,780
so I took all the
valuable documents
60
00:03:37,954 --> 00:03:38,955
I could lay my hands on,
61
00:03:39,129 --> 00:03:40,913
and got out as fast as I could.
62
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,785
- You could keep him
down here, Colonel.
63
00:03:42,959 --> 00:03:44,526
They should have called off
the Gestapo in a week or two.
64
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:45,701
- But that's impossible.
65
00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:47,181
I've got to get this information
66
00:03:47,355 --> 00:03:48,791
to the Allied
commanders immediately.
67
00:03:48,965 --> 00:03:50,314
- Not a chance.
68
00:03:50,488 --> 00:03:51,533
- Well, what about
your wireless?
69
00:03:51,707 --> 00:03:53,317
- No good.
70
00:03:53,491 --> 00:03:54,927
The Gestapo always brings
in a radio detection unit.
71
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:56,755
We're out of business.
72
00:03:56,929 --> 00:03:59,280
- Colonel, I must get word
to London by Tuesday night.
73
00:03:59,454 --> 00:04:00,933
The British are going
to drop agents and arms
74
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,457
for the French Resistance,
75
00:04:02,631 --> 00:04:04,023
and the Germans
know the drop zones.
76
00:04:04,198 --> 00:04:05,851
- All right, but you
have to stay down here
77
00:04:06,025 --> 00:04:06,983
'til we figure a
way to smuggle you
78
00:04:07,157 --> 00:04:08,550
out in the trunk of Klink's car.
79
00:04:08,724 --> 00:04:10,073
- Who is Klink?
80
00:04:10,247 --> 00:04:12,119
- Colonel Klink,
the camp Kommandant.
81
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:14,773
- And you expect to
smuggle me out in his car?
82
00:04:14,947 --> 00:04:16,427
- We've done it before.
83
00:04:16,601 --> 00:04:17,907
- If he drives any more
of the prisoners out,
84
00:04:18,081 --> 00:04:20,649
he'll have to apply for
his chauffeur's license.
85
00:04:20,823 --> 00:04:22,912
- But I imagine that now it's
a bit different situation
86
00:04:23,086 --> 00:04:24,566
with all those SS
chaps out there.
87
00:04:24,740 --> 00:04:26,872
- Well, it is a bit
of a sticky wicket.
88
00:04:27,046 --> 00:04:28,787
Oh, I do hope I jolly well
89
00:04:28,961 --> 00:04:31,268
don't get marooned up the
stream without an oar.
90
00:04:48,851 --> 00:04:50,505
Come in, come in, come in.
91
00:04:50,679 --> 00:04:52,594
Morning, Colonel.
92
00:04:52,768 --> 00:04:54,509
Dismissed, Hogan.
93
00:04:54,683 --> 00:04:56,641
If you have come here
to complain about
94
00:04:56,815 --> 00:05:00,167
being confined to the barracks,
it will do you no good.
95
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:02,560
- Question your orders?
Not at all, sir.
96
00:05:02,734 --> 00:05:04,910
I know you come from a
long line of Prussians.
97
00:05:05,084 --> 00:05:06,608
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
98
00:05:06,782 --> 00:05:07,739
- And that you're a
dedicated career officer,
99
00:05:07,913 --> 00:05:08,914
steeped in tradition.
100
00:05:09,088 --> 00:05:10,829
- Yes, yes, yes.
101
00:05:11,003 --> 00:05:12,309
- You're the finest prison
Kommandant in all of Germany.
102
00:05:12,483 --> 00:05:13,789
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
103
00:05:13,963 --> 00:05:16,226
When the Gestapo snaps
their fingers, you jump.
104
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,664
That's right.
105
00:05:19,838 --> 00:05:23,538
Hogan, sometimes you
go too far. Dismissed!
106
00:05:23,712 --> 00:05:25,322
- I don't blame you
for being upset, sir.
107
00:05:25,496 --> 00:05:26,454
What with the fun-loving Gestapo
108
00:05:26,628 --> 00:05:28,369
crawling all over the place.
109
00:05:28,543 --> 00:05:30,197
They're probably looking to
put the blame on someone else
110
00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,981
for their mistake.
111
00:05:32,155 --> 00:05:33,156
- What mistake?
112
00:05:33,330 --> 00:05:34,940
- I just hope it isn't you, sir.
113
00:05:35,114 --> 00:05:37,291
- I had nothing to do with it.
114
00:05:37,465 --> 00:05:39,162
- You may have a
chance to prove that,
115
00:05:39,336 --> 00:05:40,598
if you're lucky enough to get
a trial.
116
00:05:40,772 --> 00:05:43,688
- Trial? He was one
of their own men.
117
00:05:43,862 --> 00:05:46,343
For three years, he
was a trusted secretary
118
00:05:46,517 --> 00:05:49,781
to Heinrich Houseman, a big
Gestapo official in Berlin.
119
00:05:49,955 --> 00:05:52,610
Now last week they found
out he was a British spy.
120
00:05:52,784 --> 00:05:54,133
Why would they blame me?
121
00:05:54,308 --> 00:05:55,831
Jealousy.
122
00:05:56,005 --> 00:05:59,922
And I bet I know what's
on your cunning mind, sir.
123
00:06:00,096 --> 00:06:02,359
You do?
124
00:06:02,533 --> 00:06:04,535
What's on my cunning mind?
125
00:06:04,709 --> 00:06:06,494
- You won't call
General Burkhalter,
126
00:06:06,668 --> 00:06:09,018
because you figure the
phones are probably tapped,
127
00:06:09,192 --> 00:06:10,846
so you'll get in your car,
128
00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:13,240
and you'll go over and fill
him in on the whole setup.
129
00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:17,374
Oh, I admire the way you
military men stick together.
130
00:06:17,548 --> 00:06:20,247
- That's exactly what
was on my cunning mind.
131
00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:22,684
- You're wasting time, sir,
order that car right now.
132
00:06:22,858 --> 00:06:24,425
- You're absolutely right.
- Mm-hmm.
133
00:06:26,949 --> 00:06:29,430
- I want my car brought around
to the office at three o'clock.
134
00:06:29,604 --> 00:06:30,648
- Four o'clock be
more convenient.
135
00:06:30,822 --> 00:06:32,433
- Make that four o'clock.
136
00:06:32,607 --> 00:06:34,652
- You will cancel
the car, Klink.
137
00:06:34,826 --> 00:06:36,611
Cancel the car.
138
00:06:36,785 --> 00:06:39,788
- No one goes in or out of
this camp until further notice.
139
00:06:39,962 --> 00:06:42,660
- Major Hochstetter, I'm
still in charge of this camp.
140
00:06:43,313 --> 00:06:45,402
- The Gestapo now in charge.
141
00:06:45,576 --> 00:06:48,013
By whose orders?
142
00:06:48,187 --> 00:06:50,364
- By General
Burkhalter's orders.
143
00:06:50,538 --> 00:06:52,148
- That's good enough for me,
are you satisfied, Colonel?
144
00:06:52,322 --> 00:06:54,281
Mm-hmm. Satisfied.
145
00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:56,805
What is this man doing here?
146
00:06:56,979 --> 00:06:59,111
- Hogan, what are
you doing here?
147
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:00,635
- Undergoing intensive
interrogation.
148
00:07:00,809 --> 00:07:02,376
He's brutal, sir. Brutal.
149
00:07:02,550 --> 00:07:04,682
Yes sir, I am.
150
00:07:04,856 --> 00:07:06,293
- Bah!
151
00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:09,078
- I will deal with
you fools later.
152
00:07:09,252 --> 00:07:12,255
Klink, anyone leaving
this camp will be shot.
153
00:07:12,429 --> 00:07:14,301
Yes, Major.
154
00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:18,174
- Ah, these orders
are probably phony.
155
00:07:18,348 --> 00:07:19,828
Look, why
don't you wait until dark,
156
00:07:20,002 --> 00:07:21,351
grab the car, keep
the lights off.
157
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:22,613
You know the area cold.
158
00:07:22,787 --> 00:07:24,093
Go over and see Burkhalter,
159
00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:25,616
he'll pull the
Gestapo out of camp.
160
00:07:25,790 --> 00:07:27,183
- Hogan, that's the
most terrible idea
161
00:07:27,357 --> 00:07:28,140
I've ever heard in my life.
162
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,316
- Why?
163
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,969
- If I get into that car,
164
00:07:31,143 --> 00:07:33,232
I could be mistaken for
an escaping prisoner.
165
00:07:33,407 --> 00:07:36,627
Now the Gestapo has
orders to shoot and kill.
166
00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:37,802
I would end up dead.
167
00:07:38,934 --> 00:07:42,764
- Now tell me the
part that's terrible.
168
00:07:42,938 --> 00:07:46,898
Dismissed!
169
00:07:54,993 --> 00:07:57,387
- All right, fellas,
we got problems.
170
00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:58,910
- What happened, Colonel?
171
00:07:59,084 --> 00:08:00,085
Hochstetter just
sealed off the camp.
172
00:08:00,259 --> 00:08:01,565
Nobody can get in or out.
173
00:08:01,739 --> 00:08:02,566
- Including Klink?
174
00:08:02,740 --> 00:08:04,089
- Especially Klink.
175
00:08:04,263 --> 00:08:05,874
- That's what I call
a sticky picket.
176
00:08:06,048 --> 00:08:07,266
That's wicket.
177
00:08:07,441 --> 00:08:10,705
- I'm making up my own saying.
178
00:08:10,879 --> 00:08:12,533
- Think I should try a
radio message, Colonel?
179
00:08:12,707 --> 00:08:14,099
- Too risky.
180
00:08:14,273 --> 00:08:15,405
- Downes has to
get word to London
181
00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:17,015
no later than Tuesday night.
182
00:08:17,189 --> 00:08:18,582
- But that is impossible.
183
00:08:18,756 --> 00:08:20,279
- Why doesn't somebody tell him
184
00:08:20,454 --> 00:08:22,456
that's like trying to
get blood from a parsnip.
185
00:08:22,630 --> 00:08:24,545
- That's turnip.
186
00:08:24,719 --> 00:08:28,157
- Did you ever try to get
blood out of a parsnip?
187
00:08:28,331 --> 00:08:30,812
- Hey, Schultz, what
have you got there?
188
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:34,598
- Must be his birthday.
189
00:08:34,772 --> 00:08:36,731
- Happy birthday, Schultzie!
190
00:08:36,905 --> 00:08:38,472
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
191
00:08:38,646 --> 00:08:40,299
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
192
00:08:40,474 --> 00:08:44,042
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
193
00:08:44,216 --> 00:08:47,524
♪ Which nobody can deny ♪
194
00:08:48,307 --> 00:08:50,658
- Wait, wait, wait a minute!
195
00:08:50,832 --> 00:08:52,660
It is not my birthday.
196
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:53,487
- Don't tell me it's
Klink's birthday.
197
00:08:53,661 --> 00:08:54,879
- No.
198
00:08:55,053 --> 00:08:56,011
- Oh, these are
the perfect gifts
199
00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:57,404
for a man who has everything.
200
00:08:57,578 --> 00:09:00,189
- It's my nephew
Wolfie's birthday,
201
00:09:00,363 --> 00:09:02,365
but I couldn't get out to
deliver him the presents.
202
00:09:02,539 --> 00:09:03,845
- Why not, Schultz?
203
00:09:04,019 --> 00:09:05,629
- Nobody is supposed
to leave the camp.
204
00:09:05,803 --> 00:09:09,807
If they do, the Gestapo
has orders to shoot to kill.
205
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:13,594
- Come here, Schultz.
206
00:09:13,768 --> 00:09:16,118
It's just a balloon that popped.
207
00:09:17,511 --> 00:09:18,381
No damage.
208
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,601
- Who did that?
209
00:09:20,775 --> 00:09:22,298
- I did, Schultzie.
210
00:09:22,472 --> 00:09:23,691
- You did it on purpose?
211
00:09:23,865 --> 00:09:24,996
- No, honestly, it
was an accident.
212
00:09:25,170 --> 00:09:26,520
- Here, Schultzie,
213
00:09:26,694 --> 00:09:29,566
Go back to your barracks
and play with your toys.
214
00:09:29,740 --> 00:09:33,831
Oh, look at my
balloon. It's flying away.
215
00:09:36,225 --> 00:09:37,922
- Right now it looks
like a balloon's
216
00:09:38,096 --> 00:09:40,229
the only thing you can
get out of this camp.
217
00:09:45,277 --> 00:09:46,975
- Okay, thanks Sergeant McMahon,
218
00:09:47,149 --> 00:09:48,106
I'll contact you as soon as
I make all the arrangements.
219
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,586
- Right, Colonel.
220
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,240
- Men, let's have
a council of war.
221
00:09:51,414 --> 00:09:52,241
- You've got a plan.
- Of course he's got a plan.
222
00:09:52,415 --> 00:09:53,677
- He always has a plan.
223
00:09:53,851 --> 00:09:55,505
I bet
I know what it is.
224
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:56,854
You're gonna get my English
friend out in the dog truck.
225
00:09:57,028 --> 00:09:58,334
The laundry truck.
The water truck.
226
00:09:58,508 --> 00:10:00,510
- Newkirk, could we hear
Colonel Hogan's plan?
227
00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:01,859
Carter, if you'd
stop interrupting,
228
00:10:02,033 --> 00:10:04,079
we'd be able to
hear, wouldn't we?
229
00:10:04,253 --> 00:10:06,951
- Alright fellas, let me have
your undivided attention.
230
00:10:07,125 --> 00:10:09,693
Newkirk, you play a
key role in this plan.
231
00:10:09,867 --> 00:10:11,347
Naturally, sir.
232
00:10:11,521 --> 00:10:14,263
- I want you to start a
basket weaving contest.
233
00:10:14,437 --> 00:10:16,483
- A basket weaving contest.
234
00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:18,702
- That's right. Carter
will be with you.
235
00:10:18,876 --> 00:10:20,399
- I'm not very good
at basket weaving.
236
00:10:20,574 --> 00:10:23,402
Could I enter the
beaded bag contest?
237
00:10:23,577 --> 00:10:24,665
Just do as I say.
238
00:10:24,839 --> 00:10:26,144
- Yes, sir.
239
00:10:26,318 --> 00:10:28,233
- Am I supposed to weave
baskets too, Colonel?
240
00:10:28,407 --> 00:10:29,321
- No, LeBeau,
you're gonna be busy
241
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,498
with a kite flying contest.
242
00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:33,282
You want me to fly a kite?
243
00:10:33,456 --> 00:10:35,589
- That's right. Sergeant McMahon
will tell you what to do.
244
00:10:35,763 --> 00:10:37,416
Kinch, you and the RAF
sergeant that was here
245
00:10:37,591 --> 00:10:39,723
are in charge of
building a tent.
246
00:10:39,897 --> 00:10:41,290
Yeah.
247
00:10:41,464 --> 00:10:42,770
- How big a tent did
you want, Colonel?
248
00:10:42,944 --> 00:10:46,034
- Oh, big enough for the
baskets and the kites.
249
00:10:46,208 --> 00:10:47,862
- You're almost right.
250
00:10:48,036 --> 00:10:49,472
I'll give you the
exact dimensions later.
251
00:10:49,646 --> 00:10:52,170
Right now I have to
talk to Colonel Klink.
252
00:10:54,129 --> 00:10:55,565
- Well don't just stare at me,
253
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,220
start getting your
material together.
254
00:10:59,656 --> 00:11:00,788
- Basket weaving?
255
00:11:00,962 --> 00:11:02,267
- Kite flying.
256
00:11:02,441 --> 00:11:04,095
- Making a tent.
257
00:11:04,269 --> 00:11:07,795
I'm afraid Colonel Hogan's
gone round the bend.
258
00:11:07,969 --> 00:11:10,232
- Guess the pressure was too
much, and he finally cracked.
259
00:11:10,406 --> 00:11:11,799
- What are we gonna do?
260
00:11:11,973 --> 00:11:13,322
- Well, the first
thing we gotta do
261
00:11:13,496 --> 00:11:14,889
is not let him
know that we know.
262
00:11:15,063 --> 00:11:16,804
- Yeah, Newkirk is
right. We'll humor him.
263
00:11:16,978 --> 00:11:19,807
- Even if it means weaving the
baskets and flying the kites.
264
00:11:19,981 --> 00:11:21,722
I just hope Klink doesn't
think Colonel Hogan's
265
00:11:21,896 --> 00:11:23,288
out of his mind.
266
00:11:23,462 --> 00:11:27,510
- Colonel Hogan, you
are out of your mind.
267
00:11:27,684 --> 00:11:30,252
- What's wrong with some of
your men building us a tent?
268
00:11:30,426 --> 00:11:32,210
We need someplace to store
our athletic equipment
269
00:11:32,384 --> 00:11:33,777
and Red Cross supplies.
270
00:11:33,951 --> 00:11:35,866
- May I remind you that your men
271
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,303
are prisoners in this
camp, not guests.
272
00:11:38,477 --> 00:11:40,131
- Well, since the
Gestapo took over,
273
00:11:40,305 --> 00:11:41,437
your men have a lot of
free time on their hands.
274
00:11:41,611 --> 00:11:43,134
And busy hands are happy hands.
275
00:11:43,308 --> 00:11:44,919
- Hogan.
- All right, all right.
276
00:11:45,093 --> 00:11:46,747
Well, then who's
gonna build the tent?
277
00:11:46,921 --> 00:11:48,487
- Your men are gonna
build the tent.
278
00:11:48,662 --> 00:11:51,795
- Okay, I'll get 'em
started on it right away.
279
00:11:51,969 --> 00:11:53,667
Oh, Colonel, I wonder
if you'd do me a favor.
280
00:11:53,841 --> 00:11:55,538
- Now what is it?
281
00:11:55,712 --> 00:11:57,279
- Would you be the judge in
our basket weaving contest?
282
00:11:57,453 --> 00:11:58,715
- Your what?
283
00:11:58,889 --> 00:12:00,456
- My men have been
inactive lately,
284
00:12:00,630 --> 00:12:02,284
and I thought little basket
weaving would be a help.
285
00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:03,894
- Basket weaving.
286
00:12:04,068 --> 00:12:05,374
That's what your men
would like to do?
287
00:12:05,548 --> 00:12:07,332
- Oh, they were
crazy about the idea.
288
00:12:07,506 --> 00:12:09,204
Of course, you don't wanna be
the judge, I'll ask Schultz.
289
00:12:09,378 --> 00:12:12,120
- Hogan, never mind.
I'll be the judge.
290
00:12:12,294 --> 00:12:13,687
- Thank you, sir.
291
00:12:13,861 --> 00:12:16,211
Basket weaving, huh?
292
00:12:16,385 --> 00:12:18,605
No wonder you are
losing the war.
293
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:26,134
- Alright, lads, now remember,
294
00:12:26,308 --> 00:12:28,310
don't do anything to
upset Colonel Hogan.
295
00:12:28,484 --> 00:12:29,485
- Yes, in his condition,
296
00:12:29,659 --> 00:12:30,878
any little thing could make his
297
00:12:31,052 --> 00:12:32,270
mind go like this
298
00:12:32,444 --> 00:12:34,185
- Here he comes.
- Casual, casual.
299
00:12:37,928 --> 00:12:39,538
- Okay, everything's
all set with Klink.
300
00:12:39,713 --> 00:12:41,453
In fact, he's gonna judge
our basket weaving contest.
301
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,194
- Klink is going to
judge the contest, huh?
302
00:12:43,368 --> 00:12:44,369
- That's right,
and you know what,
303
00:12:44,543 --> 00:12:46,154
he thought I was out of my mind.
304
00:12:49,897 --> 00:12:51,812
- Oh, that man needs
some attention.
305
00:12:51,986 --> 00:12:53,509
Well, we have to
have a talk with him.
306
00:12:53,683 --> 00:12:55,032
- Yeah, but we gotta be
307
00:12:55,206 --> 00:12:56,947
very subtle with a
man in his condition.
308
00:12:57,121 --> 00:12:59,341
Just skirt the issue, and
don't mention his mind.
309
00:12:59,515 --> 00:13:01,778
Kinch is right.
310
00:13:01,952 --> 00:13:04,259
Let's go.
311
00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:10,221
- What can I do for you fellas?
312
00:13:10,395 --> 00:13:11,832
- Colonel, we were just thinking
313
00:13:12,006 --> 00:13:14,008
that you've had an awful
lot of pressure lately.
314
00:13:14,182 --> 00:13:15,966
Yeah, on your mind.
315
00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:17,272
I mean things on his mind.
316
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:20,623
- Yeah, we figured that
as soon as the heat's off,
317
00:13:20,797 --> 00:13:23,060
maybe we could spring
you for a little rest.
318
00:13:23,234 --> 00:13:25,280
- No trouble at all, sir,
LeBeau says you could
319
00:13:25,454 --> 00:13:27,891
stay with his relatives
for a few days in France.
320
00:13:28,065 --> 00:13:31,025
- Just think, Colonel,
one week on the Riviera.
321
00:13:31,199 --> 00:13:33,244
- Think you fellas are
trying to tell me something.
322
00:13:33,418 --> 00:13:34,898
- Oh no, Colonel.
323
00:13:35,072 --> 00:13:36,726
We can't wait for that
basket weaving contest.
324
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,642
- And there's nothing I like
better than flying kites.
325
00:13:39,816 --> 00:13:42,601
- Let's face it fellas.
You think I'm cracking up.
326
00:13:45,126 --> 00:13:47,258
All right, let me put all
the pieces together for you.
327
00:13:47,432 --> 00:13:49,652
The basket weavers are
really making a basket
328
00:13:49,826 --> 00:13:52,089
large enough to carry a man.
329
00:13:52,263 --> 00:13:55,136
The tent makers are making a
balloon out of old parachutes,
330
00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:57,573
and the kite flyers are
gathering wind information
331
00:13:57,747 --> 00:14:00,315
for our meteorologist
Sergeant McMahon.
332
00:14:00,489 --> 00:14:02,273
Now we attach the
balloon to the basket,
333
00:14:02,447 --> 00:14:04,188
fill it with hot air,
334
00:14:04,362 --> 00:14:06,451
put our British friend inside
the basket with a parachute.
335
00:14:06,625 --> 00:14:08,323
The balloon takes off,
336
00:14:08,497 --> 00:14:10,455
he bails out over Dusselhaven,
and is picked up by a sub.
337
00:14:12,022 --> 00:14:13,415
Well?
338
00:14:13,589 --> 00:14:15,373
- How about two weeks
on the Riviera, sir?
339
00:14:39,789 --> 00:14:42,400
- LeBeau, what do you
think you're doing?
340
00:14:42,574 --> 00:14:43,662
What does it look
like I'm doing?
341
00:14:43,837 --> 00:14:44,751
- Flying a kite.
342
00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,578
- Very good.
343
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,667
I don't know why everybody
keeps saying you're stupid.
344
00:14:48,842 --> 00:14:50,147
- Who said I'm stupid?
345
00:14:50,321 --> 00:14:52,149
- Schultz, I don't
wanna name names.
346
00:14:52,323 --> 00:14:53,760
- Never mind.
347
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,370
The prisoners have
permission to build a tent
348
00:14:55,544 --> 00:14:57,067
and to weave baskets.
349
00:14:57,241 --> 00:15:00,070
Nobody said anything
about flying a kite.
350
00:15:00,244 --> 00:15:01,811
- I know that,
Schultz, I just want-
351
00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:03,987
- Now you listen to me.
352
00:15:04,161 --> 00:15:06,511
If you don't take the kite down,
353
00:15:06,685 --> 00:15:09,036
it will be 10 days
in the cooler.
354
00:15:09,210 --> 00:15:10,602
- It would be worth it, Schultz,
355
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:12,604
to know that I made
one little boy happy.
356
00:15:13,562 --> 00:15:14,911
- What little boy?
357
00:15:15,085 --> 00:15:16,565
- Your nephew. I made
this kite for him.
358
00:15:16,739 --> 00:15:18,436
I just wanted to make
sure it would fly.
359
00:15:18,610 --> 00:15:22,571
- You made the kite
for my nephew Wolfie?
360
00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:24,703
- Well, war is war, Schultz,
361
00:15:24,878 --> 00:15:26,357
but I still would
like to bring a smile
362
00:15:26,531 --> 00:15:28,185
to a little boy's face.
363
00:15:29,578 --> 00:15:31,798
- You made it for Wolfie.
364
00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:33,756
- No, no, Schultz, don't cry.
365
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:38,195
- Wolfie loves kites.
366
00:15:38,369 --> 00:15:41,329
I used to take him into
the park and we both
367
00:15:41,503 --> 00:15:44,201
used to fly them.
368
00:15:47,248 --> 00:15:48,727
- Here, Schultz, try this one.
369
00:15:49,511 --> 00:15:52,514
May I?
370
00:15:52,688 --> 00:15:54,255
- Ooh,
371
00:15:54,429 --> 00:15:57,693
it's a very good kite.
- I'm glad you like it.
372
00:15:57,867 --> 00:16:00,261
- Oh, it's a wonderful thing
to do something like this
373
00:16:00,435 --> 00:16:02,393
for a little German boy.
374
00:16:02,567 --> 00:16:03,917
- I hope he remembers
it when he grows up
375
00:16:04,091 --> 00:16:06,267
into a dirty Boche.
376
00:16:06,441 --> 00:16:07,834
- LeBeau!
377
00:16:11,968 --> 00:16:13,752
- Schultz, what do you
think you're doing?
378
00:16:13,927 --> 00:16:15,319
- Flying a kite.
379
00:16:15,493 --> 00:16:17,060
- While you're on duty?
380
00:16:17,234 --> 00:16:20,716
No wonder everybody
says you're stupid.
381
00:16:32,119 --> 00:16:34,295
- Klink, what do you
think you are doing?
382
00:16:34,469 --> 00:16:35,862
- Flying a kite, sir.
383
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:37,733
- I can see that, why?
384
00:16:37,907 --> 00:16:40,388
- Well, actually I was
taking it away from Schultz.
385
00:16:41,911 --> 00:16:44,479
- One of your guards
is flying a kite?
386
00:16:44,653 --> 00:16:47,047
- Actually, I was taking
it away from LeBeau.
387
00:16:47,221 --> 00:16:50,224
- I never saw that
kite before in my life.
388
00:16:50,398 --> 00:16:53,705
- You said you made it for
my little nephew, Wolfie.
389
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,970
- Now why would I make a for
a dirty little Boche kid?
390
00:16:57,144 --> 00:16:58,972
- Klink!
391
00:16:59,146 --> 00:17:02,410
The prisoners are trying
to signal Allied flyers.
392
00:17:02,584 --> 00:17:03,846
There will be no kite flying.
393
00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:05,021
- Yes, sir.
394
00:17:08,851 --> 00:17:10,374
- What are those men
doing over there?
395
00:17:10,548 --> 00:17:12,724
They're making a tent.
396
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:15,031
- So they can dig
escape tunnels under it?
397
00:17:15,205 --> 00:17:18,817
There will be no tents for
prisoners, Klink. Get rid of it.
398
00:17:18,992 --> 00:17:20,471
And what are those men doing?
399
00:17:20,645 --> 00:17:22,299
- Oh, they're having a
basket weaving contest.
400
00:17:22,473 --> 00:17:25,520
Colonel Klink is the judge.
401
00:17:25,694 --> 00:17:28,958
- Klink, I will have to
start another dossier on you.
402
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,481
- Major Hochstetter,
if you would only
403
00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:34,268
consider my record, I... Major.
404
00:17:34,442 --> 00:17:36,444
- Good to see you put the
Gestapo in their place, sir.
405
00:17:36,618 --> 00:17:39,447
- Hogan, I did not give you
permission to fly kites.
406
00:17:39,621 --> 00:17:41,623
- Sergeant, take down
the kite immediately.
407
00:17:41,797 --> 00:17:43,538
- Right, Colonel.
408
00:17:43,712 --> 00:17:46,280
And I want you to tell your
men to get rid of that tent
409
00:17:46,454 --> 00:17:47,455
by tomorrow morning roll call.
410
00:17:47,629 --> 00:17:49,196
- I'll get rid of it.
411
00:17:49,370 --> 00:17:51,372
- Hogan, you've got me in
trouble with the Gestapo again.
412
00:17:51,546 --> 00:17:53,243
- The Colonel Klink I know
would stand up to them.
413
00:17:53,417 --> 00:17:54,592
- Well of course.
414
00:17:54,766 --> 00:17:56,768
- Like the Germans
at Stalingrad.
415
00:17:56,943 --> 00:17:58,553
Dismissed!
416
00:18:02,035 --> 00:18:04,211
- Everything's set for
tomorrow night, Colonel.
417
00:18:04,385 --> 00:18:05,603
- Well, tomorrow
night may be too late.
418
00:18:05,777 --> 00:18:07,301
Klink wants the
tent out by morning.
419
00:18:07,475 --> 00:18:08,737
Sarge, how's the weather?
420
00:18:08,911 --> 00:18:10,347
- Perfect, but I
don't think the men
421
00:18:10,521 --> 00:18:11,870
can get everything
else ready in time.
422
00:18:12,045 --> 00:18:13,394
- Well, they're gonna have to,
423
00:18:13,568 --> 00:18:16,310
because tonight the
balloon goes up.
424
00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:25,928
Report!
425
00:18:26,102 --> 00:18:28,496
- All present and accounted for.
426
00:18:28,670 --> 00:18:29,888
- Thank you, Schultz.
427
00:18:30,063 --> 00:18:31,238
Dismiss your men.
428
00:18:31,412 --> 00:18:33,849
- Jarwohl, Herr Kommandant.
429
00:18:34,023 --> 00:18:36,069
Everybody dismissed.
430
00:18:36,243 --> 00:18:37,592
- Thank you.
431
00:18:37,766 --> 00:18:40,508
- Oh, Colonel, don't
forget our contest, sir.
432
00:18:40,682 --> 00:18:42,379
- Really, Hogan.
433
00:18:42,553 --> 00:18:43,990
- Well, wait 'til you see
the baskets. They're great.
434
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:45,861
Oh, look, look, look.
Is that beautiful, huh?
435
00:18:46,035 --> 00:18:49,560
- Hogan, don't you think it's
about time that you realize
436
00:18:49,734 --> 00:18:51,693
that this is a
prisoner of war camp,
437
00:18:51,867 --> 00:18:54,174
and I as Kommandant have
better things to do than to-
438
00:18:54,348 --> 00:18:59,701
- That one I think is the best.
439
00:18:59,875 --> 00:19:02,051
- Who's judging this
contest, you or I?
440
00:19:02,834 --> 00:19:04,706
- You, Herr Kommandant.
441
00:19:07,404 --> 00:19:09,493
Go, go.
442
00:19:09,667 --> 00:19:11,147
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
443
00:19:12,105 --> 00:19:15,847
Oh yes, I like the workmanship.
444
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:24,030
- Oh, that's magnificent.
445
00:19:44,006 --> 00:19:46,095
That's ridiculous.
446
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:47,792
What would anyone use that for?
447
00:19:47,966 --> 00:19:49,272
I told you so when
you were weaving it.
448
00:19:49,446 --> 00:19:51,840
- Well, that's your
blasted opinion.
449
00:19:52,014 --> 00:19:53,755
- All right, all right, fellas.
450
00:19:53,929 --> 00:19:55,365
Remember it's not
whether you win or lose,
451
00:19:55,539 --> 00:19:57,541
it's how you weave your
basket that counts.
452
00:19:57,715 --> 00:20:00,370
I told him was a terrible-
- You just keep outta this-
453
00:20:00,544 --> 00:20:02,285
- All right, all right, you're
both out of the contest.
454
00:20:02,459 --> 00:20:03,591
Now get this out of here.
455
00:20:03,765 --> 00:20:05,419
- I'll withdraw it.
456
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:18,040
- Now this one I like, but
this one has a very good shape.
457
00:20:19,563 --> 00:20:22,479
I would say that one of these
two baskets is the winner.
458
00:20:22,653 --> 00:20:25,830
Ah, this one has
excellent workmanship.
459
00:20:26,004 --> 00:20:27,963
- That's the one
I would've chosen.
460
00:20:28,137 --> 00:20:31,923
- Oh. Well this
one is the winner.
461
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:32,968
- Congratulations, LeBeau.
462
00:20:33,142 --> 00:20:34,100
- Sorry.
463
00:20:35,884 --> 00:20:37,755
- Colonel, LeBeau would like
you to have that basket.
464
00:20:37,929 --> 00:20:38,887
- You would, huh?
465
00:20:39,061 --> 00:20:40,280
- It would be my pleasure, sir.
466
00:20:40,454 --> 00:20:41,803
- It has a handle
and everything.
467
00:20:41,977 --> 00:20:43,805
Come in very handy at
the Easter egg hunt.
468
00:20:43,979 --> 00:20:45,894
- Easter egg hunt.
469
00:20:46,068 --> 00:20:47,548
- Wouldn't have one and
not invite you, sir.
470
00:20:55,904 --> 00:20:57,471
- Look out! On the fence!
471
00:21:04,217 --> 00:21:06,132
- Somebody's trying
to get over the fence.
472
00:21:10,266 --> 00:21:11,615
- Get that balloon in the air.
473
00:21:11,789 --> 00:21:12,486
I don't know how long
we can stall 'em.
474
00:21:12,660 --> 00:21:14,009
- Right, sir.
475
00:21:16,577 --> 00:21:17,926
- Good luck, Downes.
- Thank you Colonel.
476
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:19,362
- Get him outta here.
477
00:21:19,536 --> 00:21:21,756
- Right. Come on,
boys. Here we go.
478
00:21:25,412 --> 00:21:28,676
- Look, get that kite
off the wire, here.
479
00:21:28,850 --> 00:21:31,548
I want some organization
here. What is going on?
480
00:21:31,722 --> 00:21:34,421
Come on, faster.
481
00:21:34,595 --> 00:21:38,294
You're like an organ grinder
whose lost his monkey.
482
00:21:38,468 --> 00:21:40,775
- Alright, build it up.
483
00:21:40,949 --> 00:21:42,646
Hey, LeBeau.
- Ready?
484
00:21:42,820 --> 00:21:44,735
- I think we're about ready.
Try it, take out the pole.
485
00:21:44,909 --> 00:21:47,695
Here we go, gentlemen,
keep your fingers crossed.
486
00:21:47,869 --> 00:21:49,218
If this
works, I'll be surprised.
487
00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:51,133
Ha, look at that!
488
00:21:51,307 --> 00:21:53,309
Hey, look at that, will ya?
489
00:21:56,094 --> 00:21:57,792
What is going on?
490
00:22:01,099 --> 00:22:03,145
- What is going on here, Klink?
491
00:22:03,319 --> 00:22:05,669
Is someone trying to escape?
- It's not one of our men.
492
00:22:05,843 --> 00:22:07,280
Who'd want escape
in the middle of a
493
00:22:07,454 --> 00:22:09,325
basket weaving contest?
494
00:22:09,499 --> 00:22:12,067
- No one has ever escaped
from Stalag 13, ever!
495
00:22:12,850 --> 00:22:15,679
- What is going on here, Klink?
496
00:22:15,853 --> 00:22:18,204
I told you to get
rid of those kites.
497
00:22:18,378 --> 00:22:20,031
- I told you to get
rid of those kites.
498
00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:21,381
- We're trying,
sir, we're trying.
499
00:22:21,555 --> 00:22:23,165
- Stand back, Carter.
500
00:22:23,339 --> 00:22:24,166
It's gonna be alright. The
staff's gonna pick you up.
501
00:22:24,340 --> 00:22:25,907
Don't worry about it.
502
00:22:28,388 --> 00:22:30,259
- What are you doing there?
503
00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:32,043
- Oh, we're just
getting rid of the
504
00:22:32,218 --> 00:22:34,132
basket and the tent like ol'
Klink said we should, sir.
505
00:22:34,307 --> 00:22:37,310
- Oh, it's a very nice basket.
506
00:22:37,484 --> 00:22:39,312
I wouldn't mind
having it myself.
507
00:22:39,486 --> 00:22:40,835
- Well, no, we have
to get rid of it,
508
00:22:41,009 --> 00:22:42,315
'cause an order is in order.
509
00:22:42,489 --> 00:22:44,055
- What's this pipe?
- Schultz!
510
00:22:44,230 --> 00:22:45,535
- What?
511
00:22:45,709 --> 00:22:47,276
- There's a guy
going over the fence.
512
00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:50,497
- Where?
- Right over there.
513
00:22:50,671 --> 00:22:52,281
- I see nothing.
514
00:22:52,455 --> 00:22:53,848
- You always see nothing.
Let's go over and see it.
515
00:22:54,022 --> 00:22:56,677
- No, it's not my station.
516
00:22:56,851 --> 00:22:58,505
If you don't
get that prisoner,
517
00:22:58,679 --> 00:23:00,115
I'm gonna turn you into Klink.
518
00:23:00,289 --> 00:23:01,203
- Ho!
519
00:23:01,377 --> 00:23:02,683
You are going to turn me in
520
00:23:02,857 --> 00:23:06,295
because I did not arrest
the prisoner?
521
00:23:06,469 --> 00:23:09,211
- I never wanted to tell
you this. Come over here.
522
00:23:09,385 --> 00:23:10,299
- What is it, LeBeau?
523
00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:11,909
- You better come over here.
524
00:23:16,871 --> 00:23:21,789
I'm a secret member
of the Gestapo.
525
00:23:21,963 --> 00:23:25,662
I am Hermann Goering.
526
00:23:25,836 --> 00:23:27,664
- Did you get it,
Hermann Georing?
527
00:23:46,117 --> 00:23:48,685
- Klink, I will not mention
this to General Bukhalter.
528
00:23:48,859 --> 00:23:50,557
- Oh, that's very
kind of you, sir.
529
00:23:50,731 --> 00:23:56,040
- No, I'm reporting directly
to Heinrich Himmler himself!
530
00:23:56,214 --> 00:23:57,912
- Hogan, this is your fault.
531
00:23:58,086 --> 00:23:59,783
- My fault?
- Yes, it is.
532
00:23:59,957 --> 00:24:03,178
Now I am in very deep
trouble with the Gestapo.
533
00:24:03,352 --> 00:24:04,745
And if I'm lucky,
534
00:24:04,919 --> 00:24:06,007
they'll transfer me
to the Russian front.
535
00:24:06,181 --> 00:24:07,704
- Don't worry, sir.
536
00:24:07,878 --> 00:24:09,184
If that happens, we'll
have a knitting contest
537
00:24:09,358 --> 00:24:10,403
to make you set of
long woolen underwear.
538
00:24:13,623 --> 00:24:16,800
- Hogan, do you realize they
haven't found that spy yet?
539
00:24:18,106 --> 00:24:19,890
And they suspect that it has
540
00:24:20,064 --> 00:24:22,763
something to do with Stalag 13.
541
00:24:22,937 --> 00:24:26,332
I suspect it has
something to do with you.
542
00:24:26,506 --> 00:24:29,726
- Me, a prisoner, in
the toughest POW camp
543
00:24:29,900 --> 00:24:31,641
in all of Germany.
544
00:24:31,815 --> 00:24:33,164
I suppose next you'll be saying
545
00:24:33,339 --> 00:24:36,124
I smuggled a spy in
under the Gestapo's nose
546
00:24:36,298 --> 00:24:38,518
and flew him out in the balloon.
40577
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