All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes S03E24 What Time Does the Balloon Go Up_prob4.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:57,446 --> 00:00:59,274 - Everybody back, back, back, back. 2 00:00:59,448 --> 00:01:00,797 - Hey, give me that ball. - Everybody back! 3 00:01:00,971 --> 00:01:02,930 - Now just a minute. Look, we got our rights. 4 00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:04,714 The Geneva Convention says we're supposed to have 5 00:01:04,888 --> 00:01:06,934 one hour a day exercise. 6 00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:09,458 We haven't been out here more than 20 minutes. 7 00:01:09,632 --> 00:01:11,939 - Kommandant's orders, everybody inside. 8 00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:14,332 Now, back, back, back, back, back, back. 9 00:01:14,506 --> 00:01:16,247 - If I don't give my exercise, 10 00:01:16,421 --> 00:01:18,119 I'm gonna wind up looking like a big tub of lard. 11 00:01:18,293 --> 00:01:20,860 - Now, Carter, that's in very bad taste. 12 00:01:21,035 --> 00:01:22,297 - What'd I say? 13 00:01:22,471 --> 00:01:24,603 - I don't see anything in bad taste. 14 00:01:24,777 --> 00:01:26,431 - Now, Schultz knows you mean him. 15 00:01:26,605 --> 00:01:28,956 That's in very bad taste. 16 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,044 - I didn't- 17 00:01:30,218 --> 00:01:31,523 - What's going on, Schultz? 18 00:01:31,697 --> 00:01:33,047 - I have my orders. Everybody inside. 19 00:01:33,221 --> 00:01:34,396 - Why don't you tell us why, Schulz? 20 00:01:34,570 --> 00:01:37,790 - I know nothing. Nothing. 21 00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,531 - You're wasting your time, Newkirk, 22 00:01:39,705 --> 00:01:41,707 Klink doesn't tell Schultz any important information. 23 00:01:41,881 --> 00:01:45,407 - Ah, ha, ha, ha, you think he didn't tell me 24 00:01:45,581 --> 00:01:47,975 that the Gestapo is around the camp, huh? 25 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,715 You're crazy. 26 00:01:49,889 --> 00:01:50,847 - Possible. 27 00:01:51,021 --> 00:01:52,588 - Why the Gestapo, Schultz? 28 00:01:52,762 --> 00:01:55,069 - That I do not know, and that even Kommandant Klink 29 00:01:55,243 --> 00:01:56,331 does not know. 30 00:01:56,505 --> 00:01:58,420 Now everybody inside. March. 31 00:01:58,594 --> 00:01:59,725 Everybody inside. Inside. 32 00:01:59,899 --> 00:02:01,379 - All right, all right. 33 00:02:01,553 --> 00:02:03,599 Hey, Schultz, a little something from the boys. 34 00:02:06,341 --> 00:02:08,299 - What do you think's going on, Colonel? 35 00:02:08,473 --> 00:02:10,171 I don't know, 36 00:02:10,345 --> 00:02:11,694 but this isn't a good time for a visit from the Gestapo. 37 00:02:11,868 --> 00:02:14,218 - Is it ever a good time for a visit from them? 38 00:02:14,392 --> 00:02:15,872 - You know, Kinch and LeBeau ought to have 39 00:02:16,046 --> 00:02:17,482 made contact with the British spy by now. 40 00:02:17,656 --> 00:02:19,310 - Yeah, let's check the tunnel. 41 00:02:19,484 --> 00:02:20,224 If they're not back in 10 minutes, we try a diversion. 42 00:02:23,923 --> 00:02:26,361 - I'd say this is a bit of a sticky wicket. 43 00:02:26,535 --> 00:02:27,753 - What's a sticky wicket? 44 00:02:28,928 --> 00:02:31,453 - It's the British version of up the creek without a paddle. 45 00:03:13,625 --> 00:03:15,062 - Hi, Colonel Hogan. 46 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:16,193 - Downes is my name. Christopher Downes. 47 00:03:16,367 --> 00:03:17,673 - This is Carter and Newkirk. 48 00:03:17,847 --> 00:03:19,066 - Glad to know you. - How are ya? 49 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,284 - LeBeau and Kinchloe. 50 00:03:20,458 --> 00:03:21,720 - Yes, I've met them. 51 00:03:21,894 --> 00:03:23,331 It's a rather smashing idea you have 52 00:03:23,505 --> 00:03:25,115 for getting people into your camp, Colonel. 53 00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:27,335 - Getting you in was a lot easier than getting you out. 54 00:03:27,509 --> 00:03:28,988 - But I was told that wouldn't be much of a problem. 55 00:03:29,163 --> 00:03:30,860 - Ordinarily, it wouldn't be, 56 00:03:31,034 --> 00:03:32,427 but it looks like you brought half the Gestapo with you. 57 00:03:32,601 --> 00:03:34,037 - I'm afraid I had no choice. 58 00:03:34,211 --> 00:03:35,734 Berlin headquarters was getting very suspicious, 59 00:03:35,908 --> 00:03:37,780 so I took all the valuable documents 60 00:03:37,954 --> 00:03:38,955 I could lay my hands on, 61 00:03:39,129 --> 00:03:40,913 and got out as fast as I could. 62 00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,785 - You could keep him down here, Colonel. 63 00:03:42,959 --> 00:03:44,526 They should have called off the Gestapo in a week or two. 64 00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:45,701 - But that's impossible. 65 00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:47,181 I've got to get this information 66 00:03:47,355 --> 00:03:48,791 to the Allied commanders immediately. 67 00:03:48,965 --> 00:03:50,314 - Not a chance. 68 00:03:50,488 --> 00:03:51,533 - Well, what about your wireless? 69 00:03:51,707 --> 00:03:53,317 - No good. 70 00:03:53,491 --> 00:03:54,927 The Gestapo always brings in a radio detection unit. 71 00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:56,755 We're out of business. 72 00:03:56,929 --> 00:03:59,280 - Colonel, I must get word to London by Tuesday night. 73 00:03:59,454 --> 00:04:00,933 The British are going to drop agents and arms 74 00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,457 for the French Resistance, 75 00:04:02,631 --> 00:04:04,023 and the Germans know the drop zones. 76 00:04:04,198 --> 00:04:05,851 - All right, but you have to stay down here 77 00:04:06,025 --> 00:04:06,983 'til we figure a way to smuggle you 78 00:04:07,157 --> 00:04:08,550 out in the trunk of Klink's car. 79 00:04:08,724 --> 00:04:10,073 - Who is Klink? 80 00:04:10,247 --> 00:04:12,119 - Colonel Klink, the camp Kommandant. 81 00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:14,773 - And you expect to smuggle me out in his car? 82 00:04:14,947 --> 00:04:16,427 - We've done it before. 83 00:04:16,601 --> 00:04:17,907 - If he drives any more of the prisoners out, 84 00:04:18,081 --> 00:04:20,649 he'll have to apply for his chauffeur's license. 85 00:04:20,823 --> 00:04:22,912 - But I imagine that now it's a bit different situation 86 00:04:23,086 --> 00:04:24,566 with all those SS chaps out there. 87 00:04:24,740 --> 00:04:26,872 - Well, it is a bit of a sticky wicket. 88 00:04:27,046 --> 00:04:28,787 Oh, I do hope I jolly well 89 00:04:28,961 --> 00:04:31,268 don't get marooned up the stream without an oar. 90 00:04:48,851 --> 00:04:50,505 Come in, come in, come in. 91 00:04:50,679 --> 00:04:52,594 Morning, Colonel. 92 00:04:52,768 --> 00:04:54,509 Dismissed, Hogan. 93 00:04:54,683 --> 00:04:56,641 If you have come here to complain about 94 00:04:56,815 --> 00:05:00,167 being confined to the barracks, it will do you no good. 95 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:02,560 - Question your orders? Not at all, sir. 96 00:05:02,734 --> 00:05:04,910 I know you come from a long line of Prussians. 97 00:05:05,084 --> 00:05:06,608 - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 98 00:05:06,782 --> 00:05:07,739 - And that you're a dedicated career officer, 99 00:05:07,913 --> 00:05:08,914 steeped in tradition. 100 00:05:09,088 --> 00:05:10,829 - Yes, yes, yes. 101 00:05:11,003 --> 00:05:12,309 - You're the finest prison Kommandant in all of Germany. 102 00:05:12,483 --> 00:05:13,789 - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 103 00:05:13,963 --> 00:05:16,226 When the Gestapo snaps their fingers, you jump. 104 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,664 That's right. 105 00:05:19,838 --> 00:05:23,538 Hogan, sometimes you go too far. Dismissed! 106 00:05:23,712 --> 00:05:25,322 - I don't blame you for being upset, sir. 107 00:05:25,496 --> 00:05:26,454 What with the fun-loving Gestapo 108 00:05:26,628 --> 00:05:28,369 crawling all over the place. 109 00:05:28,543 --> 00:05:30,197 They're probably looking to put the blame on someone else 110 00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,981 for their mistake. 111 00:05:32,155 --> 00:05:33,156 - What mistake? 112 00:05:33,330 --> 00:05:34,940 - I just hope it isn't you, sir. 113 00:05:35,114 --> 00:05:37,291 - I had nothing to do with it. 114 00:05:37,465 --> 00:05:39,162 - You may have a chance to prove that, 115 00:05:39,336 --> 00:05:40,598 if you're lucky enough to get a trial. 116 00:05:40,772 --> 00:05:43,688 - Trial? He was one of their own men. 117 00:05:43,862 --> 00:05:46,343 For three years, he was a trusted secretary 118 00:05:46,517 --> 00:05:49,781 to Heinrich Houseman, a big Gestapo official in Berlin. 119 00:05:49,955 --> 00:05:52,610 Now last week they found out he was a British spy. 120 00:05:52,784 --> 00:05:54,133 Why would they blame me? 121 00:05:54,308 --> 00:05:55,831 Jealousy. 122 00:05:56,005 --> 00:05:59,922 And I bet I know what's on your cunning mind, sir. 123 00:06:00,096 --> 00:06:02,359 You do? 124 00:06:02,533 --> 00:06:04,535 What's on my cunning mind? 125 00:06:04,709 --> 00:06:06,494 - You won't call General Burkhalter, 126 00:06:06,668 --> 00:06:09,018 because you figure the phones are probably tapped, 127 00:06:09,192 --> 00:06:10,846 so you'll get in your car, 128 00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:13,240 and you'll go over and fill him in on the whole setup. 129 00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:17,374 Oh, I admire the way you military men stick together. 130 00:06:17,548 --> 00:06:20,247 - That's exactly what was on my cunning mind. 131 00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:22,684 - You're wasting time, sir, order that car right now. 132 00:06:22,858 --> 00:06:24,425 - You're absolutely right. - Mm-hmm. 133 00:06:26,949 --> 00:06:29,430 - I want my car brought around to the office at three o'clock. 134 00:06:29,604 --> 00:06:30,648 - Four o'clock be more convenient. 135 00:06:30,822 --> 00:06:32,433 - Make that four o'clock. 136 00:06:32,607 --> 00:06:34,652 - You will cancel the car, Klink. 137 00:06:34,826 --> 00:06:36,611 Cancel the car. 138 00:06:36,785 --> 00:06:39,788 - No one goes in or out of this camp until further notice. 139 00:06:39,962 --> 00:06:42,660 - Major Hochstetter, I'm still in charge of this camp. 140 00:06:43,313 --> 00:06:45,402 - The Gestapo now in charge. 141 00:06:45,576 --> 00:06:48,013 By whose orders? 142 00:06:48,187 --> 00:06:50,364 - By General Burkhalter's orders. 143 00:06:50,538 --> 00:06:52,148 - That's good enough for me, are you satisfied, Colonel? 144 00:06:52,322 --> 00:06:54,281 Mm-hmm. Satisfied. 145 00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:56,805 What is this man doing here? 146 00:06:56,979 --> 00:06:59,111 - Hogan, what are you doing here? 147 00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:00,635 - Undergoing intensive interrogation. 148 00:07:00,809 --> 00:07:02,376 He's brutal, sir. Brutal. 149 00:07:02,550 --> 00:07:04,682 Yes sir, I am. 150 00:07:04,856 --> 00:07:06,293 - Bah! 151 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:09,078 - I will deal with you fools later. 152 00:07:09,252 --> 00:07:12,255 Klink, anyone leaving this camp will be shot. 153 00:07:12,429 --> 00:07:14,301 Yes, Major. 154 00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:18,174 - Ah, these orders are probably phony. 155 00:07:18,348 --> 00:07:19,828 Look, why don't you wait until dark, 156 00:07:20,002 --> 00:07:21,351 grab the car, keep the lights off. 157 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:22,613 You know the area cold. 158 00:07:22,787 --> 00:07:24,093 Go over and see Burkhalter, 159 00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:25,616 he'll pull the Gestapo out of camp. 160 00:07:25,790 --> 00:07:27,183 - Hogan, that's the most terrible idea 161 00:07:27,357 --> 00:07:28,140 I've ever heard in my life. 162 00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,316 - Why? 163 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,969 - If I get into that car, 164 00:07:31,143 --> 00:07:33,232 I could be mistaken for an escaping prisoner. 165 00:07:33,407 --> 00:07:36,627 Now the Gestapo has orders to shoot and kill. 166 00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:37,802 I would end up dead. 167 00:07:38,934 --> 00:07:42,764 - Now tell me the part that's terrible. 168 00:07:42,938 --> 00:07:46,898 Dismissed! 169 00:07:54,993 --> 00:07:57,387 - All right, fellas, we got problems. 170 00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:58,910 - What happened, Colonel? 171 00:07:59,084 --> 00:08:00,085 Hochstetter just sealed off the camp. 172 00:08:00,259 --> 00:08:01,565 Nobody can get in or out. 173 00:08:01,739 --> 00:08:02,566 - Including Klink? 174 00:08:02,740 --> 00:08:04,089 - Especially Klink. 175 00:08:04,263 --> 00:08:05,874 - That's what I call a sticky picket. 176 00:08:06,048 --> 00:08:07,266 That's wicket. 177 00:08:07,441 --> 00:08:10,705 - I'm making up my own saying. 178 00:08:10,879 --> 00:08:12,533 - Think I should try a radio message, Colonel? 179 00:08:12,707 --> 00:08:14,099 - Too risky. 180 00:08:14,273 --> 00:08:15,405 - Downes has to get word to London 181 00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:17,015 no later than Tuesday night. 182 00:08:17,189 --> 00:08:18,582 - But that is impossible. 183 00:08:18,756 --> 00:08:20,279 - Why doesn't somebody tell him 184 00:08:20,454 --> 00:08:22,456 that's like trying to get blood from a parsnip. 185 00:08:22,630 --> 00:08:24,545 - That's turnip. 186 00:08:24,719 --> 00:08:28,157 - Did you ever try to get blood out of a parsnip? 187 00:08:28,331 --> 00:08:30,812 - Hey, Schultz, what have you got there? 188 00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:34,598 - Must be his birthday. 189 00:08:34,772 --> 00:08:36,731 - Happy birthday, Schultzie! 190 00:08:36,905 --> 00:08:38,472 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 191 00:08:38,646 --> 00:08:40,299 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 192 00:08:40,474 --> 00:08:44,042 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 193 00:08:44,216 --> 00:08:47,524 ♪ Which nobody can deny ♪ 194 00:08:48,307 --> 00:08:50,658 - Wait, wait, wait a minute! 195 00:08:50,832 --> 00:08:52,660 It is not my birthday. 196 00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:53,487 - Don't tell me it's Klink's birthday. 197 00:08:53,661 --> 00:08:54,879 - No. 198 00:08:55,053 --> 00:08:56,011 - Oh, these are the perfect gifts 199 00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:57,404 for a man who has everything. 200 00:08:57,578 --> 00:09:00,189 - It's my nephew Wolfie's birthday, 201 00:09:00,363 --> 00:09:02,365 but I couldn't get out to deliver him the presents. 202 00:09:02,539 --> 00:09:03,845 - Why not, Schultz? 203 00:09:04,019 --> 00:09:05,629 - Nobody is supposed to leave the camp. 204 00:09:05,803 --> 00:09:09,807 If they do, the Gestapo has orders to shoot to kill. 205 00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:13,594 - Come here, Schultz. 206 00:09:13,768 --> 00:09:16,118 It's just a balloon that popped. 207 00:09:17,511 --> 00:09:18,381 No damage. 208 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,601 - Who did that? 209 00:09:20,775 --> 00:09:22,298 - I did, Schultzie. 210 00:09:22,472 --> 00:09:23,691 - You did it on purpose? 211 00:09:23,865 --> 00:09:24,996 - No, honestly, it was an accident. 212 00:09:25,170 --> 00:09:26,520 - Here, Schultzie, 213 00:09:26,694 --> 00:09:29,566 Go back to your barracks and play with your toys. 214 00:09:29,740 --> 00:09:33,831 Oh, look at my balloon. It's flying away. 215 00:09:36,225 --> 00:09:37,922 - Right now it looks like a balloon's 216 00:09:38,096 --> 00:09:40,229 the only thing you can get out of this camp. 217 00:09:45,277 --> 00:09:46,975 - Okay, thanks Sergeant McMahon, 218 00:09:47,149 --> 00:09:48,106 I'll contact you as soon as I make all the arrangements. 219 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,586 - Right, Colonel. 220 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,240 - Men, let's have a council of war. 221 00:09:51,414 --> 00:09:52,241 - You've got a plan. - Of course he's got a plan. 222 00:09:52,415 --> 00:09:53,677 - He always has a plan. 223 00:09:53,851 --> 00:09:55,505 I bet I know what it is. 224 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:56,854 You're gonna get my English friend out in the dog truck. 225 00:09:57,028 --> 00:09:58,334 The laundry truck. The water truck. 226 00:09:58,508 --> 00:10:00,510 - Newkirk, could we hear Colonel Hogan's plan? 227 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:01,859 Carter, if you'd stop interrupting, 228 00:10:02,033 --> 00:10:04,079 we'd be able to hear, wouldn't we? 229 00:10:04,253 --> 00:10:06,951 - Alright fellas, let me have your undivided attention. 230 00:10:07,125 --> 00:10:09,693 Newkirk, you play a key role in this plan. 231 00:10:09,867 --> 00:10:11,347 Naturally, sir. 232 00:10:11,521 --> 00:10:14,263 - I want you to start a basket weaving contest. 233 00:10:14,437 --> 00:10:16,483 - A basket weaving contest. 234 00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:18,702 - That's right. Carter will be with you. 235 00:10:18,876 --> 00:10:20,399 - I'm not very good at basket weaving. 236 00:10:20,574 --> 00:10:23,402 Could I enter the beaded bag contest? 237 00:10:23,577 --> 00:10:24,665 Just do as I say. 238 00:10:24,839 --> 00:10:26,144 - Yes, sir. 239 00:10:26,318 --> 00:10:28,233 - Am I supposed to weave baskets too, Colonel? 240 00:10:28,407 --> 00:10:29,321 - No, LeBeau, you're gonna be busy 241 00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,498 with a kite flying contest. 242 00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:33,282 You want me to fly a kite? 243 00:10:33,456 --> 00:10:35,589 - That's right. Sergeant McMahon will tell you what to do. 244 00:10:35,763 --> 00:10:37,416 Kinch, you and the RAF sergeant that was here 245 00:10:37,591 --> 00:10:39,723 are in charge of building a tent. 246 00:10:39,897 --> 00:10:41,290 Yeah. 247 00:10:41,464 --> 00:10:42,770 - How big a tent did you want, Colonel? 248 00:10:42,944 --> 00:10:46,034 - Oh, big enough for the baskets and the kites. 249 00:10:46,208 --> 00:10:47,862 - You're almost right. 250 00:10:48,036 --> 00:10:49,472 I'll give you the exact dimensions later. 251 00:10:49,646 --> 00:10:52,170 Right now I have to talk to Colonel Klink. 252 00:10:54,129 --> 00:10:55,565 - Well don't just stare at me, 253 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,220 start getting your material together. 254 00:10:59,656 --> 00:11:00,788 - Basket weaving? 255 00:11:00,962 --> 00:11:02,267 - Kite flying. 256 00:11:02,441 --> 00:11:04,095 - Making a tent. 257 00:11:04,269 --> 00:11:07,795 I'm afraid Colonel Hogan's gone round the bend. 258 00:11:07,969 --> 00:11:10,232 - Guess the pressure was too much, and he finally cracked. 259 00:11:10,406 --> 00:11:11,799 - What are we gonna do? 260 00:11:11,973 --> 00:11:13,322 - Well, the first thing we gotta do 261 00:11:13,496 --> 00:11:14,889 is not let him know that we know. 262 00:11:15,063 --> 00:11:16,804 - Yeah, Newkirk is right. We'll humor him. 263 00:11:16,978 --> 00:11:19,807 - Even if it means weaving the baskets and flying the kites. 264 00:11:19,981 --> 00:11:21,722 I just hope Klink doesn't think Colonel Hogan's 265 00:11:21,896 --> 00:11:23,288 out of his mind. 266 00:11:23,462 --> 00:11:27,510 - Colonel Hogan, you are out of your mind. 267 00:11:27,684 --> 00:11:30,252 - What's wrong with some of your men building us a tent? 268 00:11:30,426 --> 00:11:32,210 We need someplace to store our athletic equipment 269 00:11:32,384 --> 00:11:33,777 and Red Cross supplies. 270 00:11:33,951 --> 00:11:35,866 - May I remind you that your men 271 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,303 are prisoners in this camp, not guests. 272 00:11:38,477 --> 00:11:40,131 - Well, since the Gestapo took over, 273 00:11:40,305 --> 00:11:41,437 your men have a lot of free time on their hands. 274 00:11:41,611 --> 00:11:43,134 And busy hands are happy hands. 275 00:11:43,308 --> 00:11:44,919 - Hogan. - All right, all right. 276 00:11:45,093 --> 00:11:46,747 Well, then who's gonna build the tent? 277 00:11:46,921 --> 00:11:48,487 - Your men are gonna build the tent. 278 00:11:48,662 --> 00:11:51,795 - Okay, I'll get 'em started on it right away. 279 00:11:51,969 --> 00:11:53,667 Oh, Colonel, I wonder if you'd do me a favor. 280 00:11:53,841 --> 00:11:55,538 - Now what is it? 281 00:11:55,712 --> 00:11:57,279 - Would you be the judge in our basket weaving contest? 282 00:11:57,453 --> 00:11:58,715 - Your what? 283 00:11:58,889 --> 00:12:00,456 - My men have been inactive lately, 284 00:12:00,630 --> 00:12:02,284 and I thought little basket weaving would be a help. 285 00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:03,894 - Basket weaving. 286 00:12:04,068 --> 00:12:05,374 That's what your men would like to do? 287 00:12:05,548 --> 00:12:07,332 - Oh, they were crazy about the idea. 288 00:12:07,506 --> 00:12:09,204 Of course, you don't wanna be the judge, I'll ask Schultz. 289 00:12:09,378 --> 00:12:12,120 - Hogan, never mind. I'll be the judge. 290 00:12:12,294 --> 00:12:13,687 - Thank you, sir. 291 00:12:13,861 --> 00:12:16,211 Basket weaving, huh? 292 00:12:16,385 --> 00:12:18,605 No wonder you are losing the war. 293 00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:26,134 - Alright, lads, now remember, 294 00:12:26,308 --> 00:12:28,310 don't do anything to upset Colonel Hogan. 295 00:12:28,484 --> 00:12:29,485 - Yes, in his condition, 296 00:12:29,659 --> 00:12:30,878 any little thing could make his 297 00:12:31,052 --> 00:12:32,270 mind go like this 298 00:12:32,444 --> 00:12:34,185 - Here he comes. - Casual, casual. 299 00:12:37,928 --> 00:12:39,538 - Okay, everything's all set with Klink. 300 00:12:39,713 --> 00:12:41,453 In fact, he's gonna judge our basket weaving contest. 301 00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,194 - Klink is going to judge the contest, huh? 302 00:12:43,368 --> 00:12:44,369 - That's right, and you know what, 303 00:12:44,543 --> 00:12:46,154 he thought I was out of my mind. 304 00:12:49,897 --> 00:12:51,812 - Oh, that man needs some attention. 305 00:12:51,986 --> 00:12:53,509 Well, we have to have a talk with him. 306 00:12:53,683 --> 00:12:55,032 - Yeah, but we gotta be 307 00:12:55,206 --> 00:12:56,947 very subtle with a man in his condition. 308 00:12:57,121 --> 00:12:59,341 Just skirt the issue, and don't mention his mind. 309 00:12:59,515 --> 00:13:01,778 Kinch is right. 310 00:13:01,952 --> 00:13:04,259 Let's go. 311 00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:10,221 - What can I do for you fellas? 312 00:13:10,395 --> 00:13:11,832 - Colonel, we were just thinking 313 00:13:12,006 --> 00:13:14,008 that you've had an awful lot of pressure lately. 314 00:13:14,182 --> 00:13:15,966 Yeah, on your mind. 315 00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:17,272 I mean things on his mind. 316 00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:20,623 - Yeah, we figured that as soon as the heat's off, 317 00:13:20,797 --> 00:13:23,060 maybe we could spring you for a little rest. 318 00:13:23,234 --> 00:13:25,280 - No trouble at all, sir, LeBeau says you could 319 00:13:25,454 --> 00:13:27,891 stay with his relatives for a few days in France. 320 00:13:28,065 --> 00:13:31,025 - Just think, Colonel, one week on the Riviera. 321 00:13:31,199 --> 00:13:33,244 - Think you fellas are trying to tell me something. 322 00:13:33,418 --> 00:13:34,898 - Oh no, Colonel. 323 00:13:35,072 --> 00:13:36,726 We can't wait for that basket weaving contest. 324 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,642 - And there's nothing I like better than flying kites. 325 00:13:39,816 --> 00:13:42,601 - Let's face it fellas. You think I'm cracking up. 326 00:13:45,126 --> 00:13:47,258 All right, let me put all the pieces together for you. 327 00:13:47,432 --> 00:13:49,652 The basket weavers are really making a basket 328 00:13:49,826 --> 00:13:52,089 large enough to carry a man. 329 00:13:52,263 --> 00:13:55,136 The tent makers are making a balloon out of old parachutes, 330 00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:57,573 and the kite flyers are gathering wind information 331 00:13:57,747 --> 00:14:00,315 for our meteorologist Sergeant McMahon. 332 00:14:00,489 --> 00:14:02,273 Now we attach the balloon to the basket, 333 00:14:02,447 --> 00:14:04,188 fill it with hot air, 334 00:14:04,362 --> 00:14:06,451 put our British friend inside the basket with a parachute. 335 00:14:06,625 --> 00:14:08,323 The balloon takes off, 336 00:14:08,497 --> 00:14:10,455 he bails out over Dusselhaven, and is picked up by a sub. 337 00:14:12,022 --> 00:14:13,415 Well? 338 00:14:13,589 --> 00:14:15,373 - How about two weeks on the Riviera, sir? 339 00:14:39,789 --> 00:14:42,400 - LeBeau, what do you think you're doing? 340 00:14:42,574 --> 00:14:43,662 What does it look like I'm doing? 341 00:14:43,837 --> 00:14:44,751 - Flying a kite. 342 00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,578 - Very good. 343 00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,667 I don't know why everybody keeps saying you're stupid. 344 00:14:48,842 --> 00:14:50,147 - Who said I'm stupid? 345 00:14:50,321 --> 00:14:52,149 - Schultz, I don't wanna name names. 346 00:14:52,323 --> 00:14:53,760 - Never mind. 347 00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,370 The prisoners have permission to build a tent 348 00:14:55,544 --> 00:14:57,067 and to weave baskets. 349 00:14:57,241 --> 00:15:00,070 Nobody said anything about flying a kite. 350 00:15:00,244 --> 00:15:01,811 - I know that, Schultz, I just want- 351 00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:03,987 - Now you listen to me. 352 00:15:04,161 --> 00:15:06,511 If you don't take the kite down, 353 00:15:06,685 --> 00:15:09,036 it will be 10 days in the cooler. 354 00:15:09,210 --> 00:15:10,602 - It would be worth it, Schultz, 355 00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:12,604 to know that I made one little boy happy. 356 00:15:13,562 --> 00:15:14,911 - What little boy? 357 00:15:15,085 --> 00:15:16,565 - Your nephew. I made this kite for him. 358 00:15:16,739 --> 00:15:18,436 I just wanted to make sure it would fly. 359 00:15:18,610 --> 00:15:22,571 - You made the kite for my nephew Wolfie? 360 00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:24,703 - Well, war is war, Schultz, 361 00:15:24,878 --> 00:15:26,357 but I still would like to bring a smile 362 00:15:26,531 --> 00:15:28,185 to a little boy's face. 363 00:15:29,578 --> 00:15:31,798 - You made it for Wolfie. 364 00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:33,756 - No, no, Schultz, don't cry. 365 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:38,195 - Wolfie loves kites. 366 00:15:38,369 --> 00:15:41,329 I used to take him into the park and we both 367 00:15:41,503 --> 00:15:44,201 used to fly them. 368 00:15:47,248 --> 00:15:48,727 - Here, Schultz, try this one. 369 00:15:49,511 --> 00:15:52,514 May I? 370 00:15:52,688 --> 00:15:54,255 - Ooh, 371 00:15:54,429 --> 00:15:57,693 it's a very good kite. - I'm glad you like it. 372 00:15:57,867 --> 00:16:00,261 - Oh, it's a wonderful thing to do something like this 373 00:16:00,435 --> 00:16:02,393 for a little German boy. 374 00:16:02,567 --> 00:16:03,917 - I hope he remembers it when he grows up 375 00:16:04,091 --> 00:16:06,267 into a dirty Boche. 376 00:16:06,441 --> 00:16:07,834 - LeBeau! 377 00:16:11,968 --> 00:16:13,752 - Schultz, what do you think you're doing? 378 00:16:13,927 --> 00:16:15,319 - Flying a kite. 379 00:16:15,493 --> 00:16:17,060 - While you're on duty? 380 00:16:17,234 --> 00:16:20,716 No wonder everybody says you're stupid. 381 00:16:32,119 --> 00:16:34,295 - Klink, what do you think you are doing? 382 00:16:34,469 --> 00:16:35,862 - Flying a kite, sir. 383 00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:37,733 - I can see that, why? 384 00:16:37,907 --> 00:16:40,388 - Well, actually I was taking it away from Schultz. 385 00:16:41,911 --> 00:16:44,479 - One of your guards is flying a kite? 386 00:16:44,653 --> 00:16:47,047 - Actually, I was taking it away from LeBeau. 387 00:16:47,221 --> 00:16:50,224 - I never saw that kite before in my life. 388 00:16:50,398 --> 00:16:53,705 - You said you made it for my little nephew, Wolfie. 389 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,970 - Now why would I make a for a dirty little Boche kid? 390 00:16:57,144 --> 00:16:58,972 - Klink! 391 00:16:59,146 --> 00:17:02,410 The prisoners are trying to signal Allied flyers. 392 00:17:02,584 --> 00:17:03,846 There will be no kite flying. 393 00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:05,021 - Yes, sir. 394 00:17:08,851 --> 00:17:10,374 - What are those men doing over there? 395 00:17:10,548 --> 00:17:12,724 They're making a tent. 396 00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:15,031 - So they can dig escape tunnels under it? 397 00:17:15,205 --> 00:17:18,817 There will be no tents for prisoners, Klink. Get rid of it. 398 00:17:18,992 --> 00:17:20,471 And what are those men doing? 399 00:17:20,645 --> 00:17:22,299 - Oh, they're having a basket weaving contest. 400 00:17:22,473 --> 00:17:25,520 Colonel Klink is the judge. 401 00:17:25,694 --> 00:17:28,958 - Klink, I will have to start another dossier on you. 402 00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,481 - Major Hochstetter, if you would only 403 00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:34,268 consider my record, I... Major. 404 00:17:34,442 --> 00:17:36,444 - Good to see you put the Gestapo in their place, sir. 405 00:17:36,618 --> 00:17:39,447 - Hogan, I did not give you permission to fly kites. 406 00:17:39,621 --> 00:17:41,623 - Sergeant, take down the kite immediately. 407 00:17:41,797 --> 00:17:43,538 - Right, Colonel. 408 00:17:43,712 --> 00:17:46,280 And I want you to tell your men to get rid of that tent 409 00:17:46,454 --> 00:17:47,455 by tomorrow morning roll call. 410 00:17:47,629 --> 00:17:49,196 - I'll get rid of it. 411 00:17:49,370 --> 00:17:51,372 - Hogan, you've got me in trouble with the Gestapo again. 412 00:17:51,546 --> 00:17:53,243 - The Colonel Klink I know would stand up to them. 413 00:17:53,417 --> 00:17:54,592 - Well of course. 414 00:17:54,766 --> 00:17:56,768 - Like the Germans at Stalingrad. 415 00:17:56,943 --> 00:17:58,553 Dismissed! 416 00:18:02,035 --> 00:18:04,211 - Everything's set for tomorrow night, Colonel. 417 00:18:04,385 --> 00:18:05,603 - Well, tomorrow night may be too late. 418 00:18:05,777 --> 00:18:07,301 Klink wants the tent out by morning. 419 00:18:07,475 --> 00:18:08,737 Sarge, how's the weather? 420 00:18:08,911 --> 00:18:10,347 - Perfect, but I don't think the men 421 00:18:10,521 --> 00:18:11,870 can get everything else ready in time. 422 00:18:12,045 --> 00:18:13,394 - Well, they're gonna have to, 423 00:18:13,568 --> 00:18:16,310 because tonight the balloon goes up. 424 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:25,928 Report! 425 00:18:26,102 --> 00:18:28,496 - All present and accounted for. 426 00:18:28,670 --> 00:18:29,888 - Thank you, Schultz. 427 00:18:30,063 --> 00:18:31,238 Dismiss your men. 428 00:18:31,412 --> 00:18:33,849 - Jarwohl, Herr Kommandant. 429 00:18:34,023 --> 00:18:36,069 Everybody dismissed. 430 00:18:36,243 --> 00:18:37,592 - Thank you. 431 00:18:37,766 --> 00:18:40,508 - Oh, Colonel, don't forget our contest, sir. 432 00:18:40,682 --> 00:18:42,379 - Really, Hogan. 433 00:18:42,553 --> 00:18:43,990 - Well, wait 'til you see the baskets. They're great. 434 00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:45,861 Oh, look, look, look. Is that beautiful, huh? 435 00:18:46,035 --> 00:18:49,560 - Hogan, don't you think it's about time that you realize 436 00:18:49,734 --> 00:18:51,693 that this is a prisoner of war camp, 437 00:18:51,867 --> 00:18:54,174 and I as Kommandant have better things to do than to- 438 00:18:54,348 --> 00:18:59,701 - That one I think is the best. 439 00:18:59,875 --> 00:19:02,051 - Who's judging this contest, you or I? 440 00:19:02,834 --> 00:19:04,706 - You, Herr Kommandant. 441 00:19:07,404 --> 00:19:09,493 Go, go. 442 00:19:09,667 --> 00:19:11,147 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 443 00:19:12,105 --> 00:19:15,847 Oh yes, I like the workmanship. 444 00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:24,030 - Oh, that's magnificent. 445 00:19:44,006 --> 00:19:46,095 That's ridiculous. 446 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:47,792 What would anyone use that for? 447 00:19:47,966 --> 00:19:49,272 I told you so when you were weaving it. 448 00:19:49,446 --> 00:19:51,840 - Well, that's your blasted opinion. 449 00:19:52,014 --> 00:19:53,755 - All right, all right, fellas. 450 00:19:53,929 --> 00:19:55,365 Remember it's not whether you win or lose, 451 00:19:55,539 --> 00:19:57,541 it's how you weave your basket that counts. 452 00:19:57,715 --> 00:20:00,370 I told him was a terrible- - You just keep outta this- 453 00:20:00,544 --> 00:20:02,285 - All right, all right, you're both out of the contest. 454 00:20:02,459 --> 00:20:03,591 Now get this out of here. 455 00:20:03,765 --> 00:20:05,419 - I'll withdraw it. 456 00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:18,040 - Now this one I like, but this one has a very good shape. 457 00:20:19,563 --> 00:20:22,479 I would say that one of these two baskets is the winner. 458 00:20:22,653 --> 00:20:25,830 Ah, this one has excellent workmanship. 459 00:20:26,004 --> 00:20:27,963 - That's the one I would've chosen. 460 00:20:28,137 --> 00:20:31,923 - Oh. Well this one is the winner. 461 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:32,968 - Congratulations, LeBeau. 462 00:20:33,142 --> 00:20:34,100 - Sorry. 463 00:20:35,884 --> 00:20:37,755 - Colonel, LeBeau would like you to have that basket. 464 00:20:37,929 --> 00:20:38,887 - You would, huh? 465 00:20:39,061 --> 00:20:40,280 - It would be my pleasure, sir. 466 00:20:40,454 --> 00:20:41,803 - It has a handle and everything. 467 00:20:41,977 --> 00:20:43,805 Come in very handy at the Easter egg hunt. 468 00:20:43,979 --> 00:20:45,894 - Easter egg hunt. 469 00:20:46,068 --> 00:20:47,548 - Wouldn't have one and not invite you, sir. 470 00:20:55,904 --> 00:20:57,471 - Look out! On the fence! 471 00:21:04,217 --> 00:21:06,132 - Somebody's trying to get over the fence. 472 00:21:10,266 --> 00:21:11,615 - Get that balloon in the air. 473 00:21:11,789 --> 00:21:12,486 I don't know how long we can stall 'em. 474 00:21:12,660 --> 00:21:14,009 - Right, sir. 475 00:21:16,577 --> 00:21:17,926 - Good luck, Downes. - Thank you Colonel. 476 00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:19,362 - Get him outta here. 477 00:21:19,536 --> 00:21:21,756 - Right. Come on, boys. Here we go. 478 00:21:25,412 --> 00:21:28,676 - Look, get that kite off the wire, here. 479 00:21:28,850 --> 00:21:31,548 I want some organization here. What is going on? 480 00:21:31,722 --> 00:21:34,421 Come on, faster. 481 00:21:34,595 --> 00:21:38,294 You're like an organ grinder whose lost his monkey. 482 00:21:38,468 --> 00:21:40,775 - Alright, build it up. 483 00:21:40,949 --> 00:21:42,646 Hey, LeBeau. - Ready? 484 00:21:42,820 --> 00:21:44,735 - I think we're about ready. Try it, take out the pole. 485 00:21:44,909 --> 00:21:47,695 Here we go, gentlemen, keep your fingers crossed. 486 00:21:47,869 --> 00:21:49,218 If this works, I'll be surprised. 487 00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:51,133 Ha, look at that! 488 00:21:51,307 --> 00:21:53,309 Hey, look at that, will ya? 489 00:21:56,094 --> 00:21:57,792 What is going on? 490 00:22:01,099 --> 00:22:03,145 - What is going on here, Klink? 491 00:22:03,319 --> 00:22:05,669 Is someone trying to escape? - It's not one of our men. 492 00:22:05,843 --> 00:22:07,280 Who'd want escape in the middle of a 493 00:22:07,454 --> 00:22:09,325 basket weaving contest? 494 00:22:09,499 --> 00:22:12,067 - No one has ever escaped from Stalag 13, ever! 495 00:22:12,850 --> 00:22:15,679 - What is going on here, Klink? 496 00:22:15,853 --> 00:22:18,204 I told you to get rid of those kites. 497 00:22:18,378 --> 00:22:20,031 - I told you to get rid of those kites. 498 00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:21,381 - We're trying, sir, we're trying. 499 00:22:21,555 --> 00:22:23,165 - Stand back, Carter. 500 00:22:23,339 --> 00:22:24,166 It's gonna be alright. The staff's gonna pick you up. 501 00:22:24,340 --> 00:22:25,907 Don't worry about it. 502 00:22:28,388 --> 00:22:30,259 - What are you doing there? 503 00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:32,043 - Oh, we're just getting rid of the 504 00:22:32,218 --> 00:22:34,132 basket and the tent like ol' Klink said we should, sir. 505 00:22:34,307 --> 00:22:37,310 - Oh, it's a very nice basket. 506 00:22:37,484 --> 00:22:39,312 I wouldn't mind having it myself. 507 00:22:39,486 --> 00:22:40,835 - Well, no, we have to get rid of it, 508 00:22:41,009 --> 00:22:42,315 'cause an order is in order. 509 00:22:42,489 --> 00:22:44,055 - What's this pipe? - Schultz! 510 00:22:44,230 --> 00:22:45,535 - What? 511 00:22:45,709 --> 00:22:47,276 - There's a guy going over the fence. 512 00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:50,497 - Where? - Right over there. 513 00:22:50,671 --> 00:22:52,281 - I see nothing. 514 00:22:52,455 --> 00:22:53,848 - You always see nothing. Let's go over and see it. 515 00:22:54,022 --> 00:22:56,677 - No, it's not my station. 516 00:22:56,851 --> 00:22:58,505 If you don't get that prisoner, 517 00:22:58,679 --> 00:23:00,115 I'm gonna turn you into Klink. 518 00:23:00,289 --> 00:23:01,203 - Ho! 519 00:23:01,377 --> 00:23:02,683 You are going to turn me in 520 00:23:02,857 --> 00:23:06,295 because I did not arrest the prisoner? 521 00:23:06,469 --> 00:23:09,211 - I never wanted to tell you this. Come over here. 522 00:23:09,385 --> 00:23:10,299 - What is it, LeBeau? 523 00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:11,909 - You better come over here. 524 00:23:16,871 --> 00:23:21,789 I'm a secret member of the Gestapo. 525 00:23:21,963 --> 00:23:25,662 I am Hermann Goering. 526 00:23:25,836 --> 00:23:27,664 - Did you get it, Hermann Georing? 527 00:23:46,117 --> 00:23:48,685 - Klink, I will not mention this to General Bukhalter. 528 00:23:48,859 --> 00:23:50,557 - Oh, that's very kind of you, sir. 529 00:23:50,731 --> 00:23:56,040 - No, I'm reporting directly to Heinrich Himmler himself! 530 00:23:56,214 --> 00:23:57,912 - Hogan, this is your fault. 531 00:23:58,086 --> 00:23:59,783 - My fault? - Yes, it is. 532 00:23:59,957 --> 00:24:03,178 Now I am in very deep trouble with the Gestapo. 533 00:24:03,352 --> 00:24:04,745 And if I'm lucky, 534 00:24:04,919 --> 00:24:06,007 they'll transfer me to the Russian front. 535 00:24:06,181 --> 00:24:07,704 - Don't worry, sir. 536 00:24:07,878 --> 00:24:09,184 If that happens, we'll have a knitting contest 537 00:24:09,358 --> 00:24:10,403 to make you set of long woolen underwear. 538 00:24:13,623 --> 00:24:16,800 - Hogan, do you realize they haven't found that spy yet? 539 00:24:18,106 --> 00:24:19,890 And they suspect that it has 540 00:24:20,064 --> 00:24:22,763 something to do with Stalag 13. 541 00:24:22,937 --> 00:24:26,332 I suspect it has something to do with you. 542 00:24:26,506 --> 00:24:29,726 - Me, a prisoner, in the toughest POW camp 543 00:24:29,900 --> 00:24:31,641 in all of Germany. 544 00:24:31,815 --> 00:24:33,164 I suppose next you'll be saying 545 00:24:33,339 --> 00:24:36,124 I smuggled a spy in under the Gestapo's nose 546 00:24:36,298 --> 00:24:38,518 and flew him out in the balloon. 40577

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