All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes S03E22 Duel of Honor_prob4.eng

- Just for the
sake of an example,

let's take a man like
Commandant Klink.

- You take him, Schultz,
huh? We're busy.

- In my opinion,

Commandant Klink would not
be so hard to get along with,

would not be so
hard to get along

with if he would be married.

- Who'd marry him?

- Ah, that's another problem.

But the point that I
am making is that 99%

of all the trouble in
the world is being made

by men who are not married.
Right or wrong?

- Absolutely right, Schultz,
glad you could stop by,

always glad to talk to
a really fine brain.

Now-
- Now, wait!

- Schultz!
- Wait a minute.

I'm just beginning.

Now, let's take another example-

- Hitler.
- No,

let's go back to
Commandant Klink.

He has definitely too
much time on his hands.

Therefore, it's my
considered opinion-

- Schultz, I've done
everything else,

I'm going to be honest with
you, we're expecting company.

- Company?
- A woman.

Now, if you don't mind.

- A woman?
- Oh, very funny joke.

He's expecting a woman.

What was that?

- I just told you.

- Ah, there is
something going on here.

Colonel Hogan, I'm warning you,

I'm going to get to
the bottom of this!

- Warn us?

You can't afford to get
into trouble, Schultz,

you're a married man.

- You're right! I see nothing!

Nothing!

Nothing!

- Colonel Hogan?
Fraulein Erika Weidler.

- I've heard of you.

- Hi. You got something for us?

- Something that must be got out

of Germany without
the slightest chance

of it falling into wrong hands.

Can you do it?

- Without even thinkin'
about it. What is it?

- A list of the men who
plan to kill Hitler.

- I may want to give
that some thought.

- Danke.
- Where's the list?

In your head, I suppose.
- Right.

- Why can't you take
it to England yourself?

- That would be far too
dangerous for my contacts.

If I were to disappear,
they would be investigated.

- Right.
- Why's the list so important?

I mean, if they kill
him, they kill him.

Why should we care who does it?

- Because if and when it
happens, they'll sue for peace.

We want to make sure we're
dealing with the right people.

- Colonel? I could take it out.

I know the woods blindfolded.
- I know you do, LeBeau,

and 99 times out of
100 you could make it.

But it's that one chance we
can't risk, not with this.

- Send it by code.

No, if they intercept,
they could break the code.

- Hey, if we could steal
a buzz bomb someplace.

And then build us a
launcher somewhere.

And then, whoosh!

- Why not just let Commandant
Klink carry it out himself?

- I take it that's
intended as sarcasm.

- Now, hold it, hold
it.

He's got something.

What did I say?

- You're gonna have to check
in to the inn at Hammelburg.

Do have any clothes with you?
- Not a thing.

- All right, we'll give
you money for a wardrobe.

Anything that doesn't
fit can be altered here.

- With pleasure.
- Kinch,

I want you to make
up a dummy paper.

I want you to put Klink's
picture on page three

of a Berlin newspaper:

"Outstanding Record Compiled
by Stalag 13 Commandant,"

some such garbage as that.

- Got you.
- Newkirk?

- Sir?
- I want you

to make up an
envelope, perfumed,

with a cancellation postmark
"Berlin," dated yesterday.

- No problem, sir.

- Now I want you to send a
note to Klink. I'll dictate it.

- I think I can do that, yes.

- The hard part's coming:

You've conceived a mad
passion for this man.

- Not Klink!
- There must

be another way, Colonel.

- Can't ask a lady
to do that, sir.

- I'm afraid that's it.

- This is gonna take
a great actress.

- Betty Grable, almost.

- An agent is an actress.
She has to act to live.

And besides, how bad
can he be, this Klink?

- Yeah, well, let's
get on with it.

- Commandant?
- Yes, Hogan,

I'm extremely busy. Busy, busy.

- Just like you, sir.

Something like this would have
gone to another man's head,

but with you, business as usual.

- Something like what?

- You haven't seen it?
Of course you have.

- Seen what? What?

- Your publicity.
- Publicity?

- This paper just arrived
from Berlin this morning.

- "Outstanding
Record Being Compiled

by Stalag 13 Commandant
Wilhelm Klink"?

How did this get in here?

Where did they get my
picture? "Outstanding Record."

- I think it's the tip-off, sir.

They usually do this
just before a promotion.

- "Outstanding," promotion?

- General, at least.

- Right out of the blue.

- Mm-hmm.
- "Outstanding Record."

General!
- Oh, look, you got fan mail.

- Fan, what? Where?

What?
- There.

- How did this get here?

- You keep too busy, sir.

Of course, that's the
key to your success,

but I couldn't do it.

- Erika Weidler. I've
never heard of her.

- I think you will, sir. Sorry.

- "My dearest Wilhelm,

on seeing your picture
in the paper the day

of that magnificent
leonine head,

I had an uncontrollable,

"insane urge that would
not let me rest until,"

Hogan, she can't wait
until she meets me.

- It is an excellent
likeness, sir.

- But she's coming
here to Hammelburg.

She may be here right now.

- You shouldn't have
had the profile taken.

Much too powerful.

- Hogan, what am I going to do?

- Well, I wouldn't go to
Hammelburg if I were you.

- Wouldn't go to Hammelburg.

- She gets you alone in the inn,
no telling what might happen.

- Yes, I can see that.
- Best thing to do would

be to send your
staff car after her.

- Send my staff car, right. Why?

- Meet her tonight
here in your quarters.

- My quarters, excellent,
Hogan. Wait, wait, wait.

Why would my quarters be
any better than the inn?

She's bound to see my profile.

- You forget, I'll be here.

- Why?

Well, if she's what we call a
"dog," you'll be protected.

If not, I'm a man who knows
how to make an exit, right?

- Mm-hmm. Yes, very good, Hogan.

Hogan, tell me.

How great do you think the
chances are that she will

be what you call a dog?

- Commandant, fasten
your seat belt.

- Hogan? I just thought.
- Something wrong, sir?

- That picture of mine, the
one she's madly in love with,

I had my hat on.

- Could be a bit of a problem.

- Mm-hmm. Wait,
I've got something.

Hogan?

- How about a steel helmet?

- That's not funny.

- Seriously, sir, I
think you'd look better

in your uniform cap.

- With a smoking jacket?

- Well, after all, Commandant,
you are on maneuvers.

That's right.

There she is. My cap, my cap.

- Fraulein Weidler?

- Yes.
- Come in, please.

Commandant Klink.

- You must find me a terribly
bold woman, Commandant Klink.

- Not at all, Fraulein Weidler.

- Yes, you do, you must.
I couldn't help myself.

- Oh, I understand
perfectly. Hogan, champagne.

- Yes, sir.
- I shouldn't.

I'm normally a very shy
person, quite retiring, but,

one glass and I become
something else completely.

- Oh, well, then we should drink

to both your charming
personalities.

Ah, delicious.
- I feel warm all over.

- Oh. In that case, may I
take off your wrap, please?

- Oh, yes, please.

- Hogan-
- Tough luck, sir,

but don't worry, I
won't leave your side.

- Hogan, what are you
talking about? Dismissed.

- Really?
- Out.

- I'll wait in the
kitchen, just in case.

- Thank you.

- I do not know myself,

I have never done
anything like this before.

Everything I've ever been
taught tells me it is wrong.

Why does it feel so right?

- Perhaps, uh,
it's the chemistry.

- Can one fight
against chemistry?

- Or one merely surrenders
to the inevitable.

- How frightening.

- Oh, sorry.

- There is just one thing,

one thing that
could spoil it all.

- Nothing could spoil it.

- No, it is a personal
thing, an eccentricity.

I've tried, I
cannot overcome it.

- What is it?

- I must see you
without your cap on.

- You wouldn't just care
to look at my profile?

- The cap.
- The cap.

- All my life I have
been emotionally crippled

by this false, this foolish
ideal of male beauty.

Why, why am I unable to
grow up? Take off your cap.

- And your ideal concerns hair?

- Yes, yes, I hate it.

Oh, why am I so foolish?

To me it is ugly, ugly.

- My dear, dear young woman.

You may go, Hogan.
Back to the barracks.

Back, back, back, back, back.

After you pour us
more champagne.

- Making progress, sir?

- Oh, she's mad for
me, wonderful creature,

utterly, helplessly mad.

- Putty in your hands?

- Putty, putty, putty.

- Wait till I tell the
boys in the barracks.

- More champagne!

Champagne for tonight,
champagne for tomorrow,

champagne for us.

- I hate you.
- You what?

- I hate you for what
you've done to me.

- But I've done nothing.
Practically nothing.

- You've ruined my life.

You with your profile, your
devastating lack of hair,

you've ruined everything.

- But, Erika, why?

- How can I go back
to my husband? How?

- I didn't even know
you were married.

- Oh, you've made my
marriage impossible!

- Commandant.

- Hogan, I give you
my word of honor-

- It's my fault. I
thought you knew.

- You knew?

- I recognized her
when she came in.

It's going to be
a messy divorce.

- Divorce?
- You know how the Fuhrer

hates scandal in
the officer corps.

- Her husband is an officer?

- General Weidler.
- Weidler?

Weidler.
- "Tiger" Weidler,

of the Russian front, the one
that always carries a saber.

- Saber? Hogan!

- Oh, well, back
to the barracks.

- Hogan, wait.
Wait, Hogan, please.

Listen to me. What
am I going to do?

- There's nothing you
can do. It's chemistry.

- General von Weidler,
tiger of the Russian front!

Ha!
- Yeah.

- Well, what do you think, sir?

- Well, he's all we've got.

- Schultz coming.
- All right, carry on.

- Colonel Hogan.
Please, excuse me, sir.

Colonel Hogan, Colonel Hogan,

what do you think has happened?

What do you think has happened?

- Germany surrendered.
- Mmm,

something much more surprising.

But please, do not quote me.

- You've been promoted?

- Almost as surprising.

A beautiful, mmm,

beautiful woman
fell madly in love

with Commandant Klink!

- Oh? How's the weather
outside, Schultz?

- But wait! She's
married to a general.

- Bit of a nip in
the air, is there?

- Hmm. He's the "Tiger"
from the Russian front.

He killed 63 men in saber duels!

- What else is new, Schultz?

- Please, please, sir,
I leave it up to you:

Isn't it very surpr, uh-
- So!

Not only does my wife
take up with a jailer,

but now guards are gossiping
about this whole rotten thing

with the prisoners!

- I, I, I, I assure you-

- No wonder the Russians
are knocking the stuffing

out of us!

Yeah, you call this
support from home?

- Better tell Klink he's here.

- Tell, tell him he's here?

- The tiger of
the Russian front!

- On second thought,
I'll come with you.

You tell Klink and I'll
catch him when he falls.

- General Weidler? He's here?

- Came to our barracks first,
sir, looking for information.

Gentlemen don't
discuss these things.

- Thank you, Hogan,
thank you very much.

How much do you think he knows?

- Everything.
- Oh, no.

- That's the situation, sir.

- I just remembered.

She is coming here this
morning, too, his wife.

Hogan, what am I going to do?

- How are you at saber fighting?

- Terrible!

Hogan, I swear to you,

I was going to break off
with her this morning,

tell her to get over me,
go back to her husband,

make a clean break.

- I believe you, sir.
- Thank you, Hogan.

- And I believe you,
too, Herr Kommandant.

- Schultz, thank you.

- But will General von
Weidler believe you?

- Good question, Schultz.

Danke.

- He's here.
- I think you're right.

- So! Casanova Klink!

- Ah, General Weidler!
How very nice to meet you!

- What does she see in you?

- Nothing, absolutely nothing.

It was all completely harmless.

Just a little
intellectual companionship,

you might call it.

- I might, but I would not.

- No, sir, you would not.

- I would call it
monkeying around!

- General Weidler!

There's absolutely nothing
going on between myself

and Frau von-
- Wilhelm!

You shall not touch
him, you brute.

- So, there's is
nothing between you.

In what unpleasant
manner, Klink,

would you prefer to stop living?

- Just a minute, General.

Are you challenging my
commandant to a duel?

- Hogan! General Weidler,
why talk of duels?

Come, let us reason together.

- I am beyond reason! I
shall never give you up.

- How well would you like
him in little slices?

- Hold it, General.

The party who's challenged
gets the choice of weapons.

- That is true.

But it also true that I am a
general and he is a colonel.

I'm ordering him
to choose sabers!

- That's a good point.

- Ha! At dawn, Klink!

Prepare yourself!

Until dawn! Ha!

- You were magnificent,
darling, magnificent.

- Marvelous the way you
stood up to him, sir.

- I only hope, Herr Kommandant,

that when my time comes to go,

I will face it with
the same courage-

- What are you all talking
about? You duel him!

- It will not come to that.

When I heard that he
was coming, my darling,

I arranged for a plane to
fly us both to Argentina.

- To Argentina?
- A new life together.

Twice before, I
have almost made it.

The third man is the charm.

- What happened
to the other two?

- Do not think of them.
Think only of the future.

- The future?
- Here are the directions,

the recognition signal.

And here, the names in code
of friends in the Argentine.

- But why give them to me?

- I will meet you at
the plane, my darling.

But if something should happen,

you must promise
not to wait for me.

- I promise.

- The perfect ending
to a love story.

- Nobody deserves it more.

- You must be very,
very happy, sir.

- Oh, yes, terribly.

Hogan, I still
don't understand it.

Argentina, how am I
going to Argentina?

- You'll love it, sir.
It's a great country.

I hear Goering's already
made reservations.

- Stalag 13, my perfect
record, everything gone.

- Well, you'll have
your memories and Erika.

- Hogan, I would not
tell this to anyone,

but I hope she doesn't make it.

- You're a military
man, Commandant.

A mere woman just can't
compete with the joy of being

with your comrades in arms.

- That's true.

You know something, Hogan,

I've often thought of you
not so much as a prisoner

but as a comrade in arms.

- We can get together
after the war.

- Yes.
- Meet you halfway,

right in the middle
of the Caribbean.

- Herr Kommandant, I
brought you the staff car.

- Thank you, Schultz. I
shall be driving it myself.

- And, Herr Kommandant, on
the occasion of your leaving.

- Yes, old comrade?

- May I say that I always
had the greatest admiration

for your riding crop.

Now that it is no
longer of any use-

- All right, Schultz,
here, take it.

Well, I suppose that's all.

Schultz, will you take my
suitcase outside? Schultz!

- It's a hard war, sir.

- Roger, over the target
area in 45 minutes.

All right, over and out. The
plane's right on schedule, sir.

- Let's hope Klink is.

- Gee, I guess we'll never
fight our saber duel.

- Colonel, she came in through
the west tunnel entrance.

- I had to, I'm sorry. I
was not followed, I'm sure.

- Okay, what happened?

- I was questioned at
the inn by the Gestapo,

a Major Hochstetter.

- What about?
- General questioning,

suspicions about my friends
in Berlin and about Klink.

- That's not good.
What'd you tell him?

- That I was working for Abwehr,
the military intelligence.

They are rivals of the Gestapo,

so it would be quite
difficult to check my story.

- What's Hochstetter
going to do about Klink?

- Shadow him, put him
under surveillance.

- So when he goes to the
plane, they pick him up.

- I'm afraid so.
That is why I came.

- Aah, I was too
smart for myself.

I made it too complicated.

Now they're going to
get the list from Klink.

- But it's in code.

- The code won't hold up.

They'll have the name of every
conspirator against Hitler.

- Without a fight, sir?

- Newkirk, you're so right.

No, not without a fight.

Get on uniforms and masks.

We're going out as
members of Abwehr.

- Right, sir.
- You better come with us.

We're gonna try to get
you on a plane to England.

- No, my work is still here.

- It's too dangerous.

- I'll take my chances.

- You know, you're quite a girl.

Too bad I have so much hair.

- I could always
make an exception.

- You're out rather late, Klink.

- Oh! Major Hochstetter, I, I,
I was looking for a prisoner.

- You found him. You're
under arrest, Klink.

Search him.
- Major Hochstetter,

this is quite easily
explained, quite easily.

- So, start with the suitcase.

- The suitcase, couldn't
we start somewhere else?

- Hmm, Berlin Gestapo will
be most interested in this.

And in you, too, Klink.

But,
Major Hochstetter,

my relations with the Gestapo-

- Major Hochstetter!
- Don't move.

- You are interfering
with the Gestapo?

- Let's put it this way: The
Gestapo's interfering with us.

- We are Abwehr on a special
mission for the Fuhrer.

- You are asking me to believe

that the Fuhrer is using
Klink for a personal mission?

- Exactly right, sir,
personal mission.

- Klink knows nothing.
He's a perfect dupe.

- Perfect dupe, exactly.

- You! Take this to the plane.

- You will all hang for
this, if you are lucky.

- Major Hochstetter, if I
were you, I'd forget this.

- Why?
- You're interfering

with a highly secret project.

What happens to those who
interfere with such projects?

- I am not intimidated.

- Good. We'll give you
a three-second start.

- I will not be intimidated!

- One-
- Come!

- That takes care of that.

- I, uh, I beg your pardon, sir.

- There goes the plane.

- I hate to bring this up,

but since I was supposed to
be on that plane, I mean,

I thought I was to
be on that plane.

- Yes?
- What does the Fuhrer

want me to do now?

- Continue being a dupe!

- Continue being a dupe.
Yes, sir, thank you, sir.

- Mission accomplished.
- All right, let's go.

- But, but, but-

- You still here, Commandant?

- Hogan-
- What happened to Argentina?

- Oh, that's complicated.
Also it's top secret.

Where is General von Weidler?

- Bad news, sir. He was
recalled to the Russian front.

The duel's off.

- Oh, that's most distressing.

- Worse than that, his
wife went back to Berlin.

- To Berlin, huh?

Well, I will just have
to live with that.

- You're a big man, sir.

- Schultz! What are you doing?

- What happened to Argentina?

- Give me that.

I am back and I'm going to stay.

And the events of the
past few days are not

to be mentioned, ever.

Is that clear?

- Perfectly, sir.
- Perfectly, sir.

What happened to Argentina?

- Out, out, out!